Spit & vinegar

May 3rd, 2009 · 197 comments

Writes Matt in Los Angeles: “I went to get some of the 2% milk I keep in our communal work fridge for my coffee, and BAM! — front and center was this lovely.”

Do not use! I spit in this (since someone's been using it) THANKS! [I spit in it too! (since you're a jerk)]

related: And I’m singing “uh oh” on a Friday night

FILED UNDER: heart · Los Angeles · office fridge · rebuttals · spitting · thanks (but not really)


197 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Laura

    Why bother with the bottle… why not just spit straight onto the salad?

    May 3, 2009 at 12:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Debbie

    And why is there a shopping bag from Coach in the refrigerator, anyway?

    May 3, 2009 at 12:49 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Canthz_B bang

      Because someone prefers cold, hard cash in their purse?

      May 3, 2009 at 2:32 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   littleo

      I noticed that, too. Somebody likes to show off! (But if they were really rich, would they be bringing lunch to work?)

      May 3, 2009 at 3:31 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Listy

      Doesn’t that just beg to be riffled through? Seriously if I worked there I would want to know what kind of lunch you bring in a Coach bag.

      May 3, 2009 at 6:02 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Canthz_B bang

      Taking your lunch to work is how you get rich.
      $6 a day on lunch is over $1500 a year.

      May 3, 2009 at 6:41 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Erin

      That was my EXACT question…. what could possibly be a plausible explanation for this?

      May 3, 2009 at 9:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Neeners

      The coach bag is a status thing. Some people go in and buy the cheapest thing they can in a designer store and get the bag to parade around their Wal Mart special lunchables and other assorted crap. I have a friend who does this. Yes, I have shallow superficial friends.

      May 3, 2009 at 10:03 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   oi!

      I know what is in the coach bag: A stale PJB sandwich.

      May 4, 2009 at 12:39 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   Canthz_B bang

      The Coach bag contains Prada shoes.
      This chick can’t afford lunch with her taste, and Prada shoes are too expensive to just walk around in at work all day.

      May 4, 2009 at 1:05 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   oi!

      of course Prada shoes are high maintenance and need to be at exactly at 45.6 degree F. ;)

      May 4, 2009 at 1:16 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   Canthz_B bang

      That’s what makes them cool footwear.

      May 4, 2009 at 1:18 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   oi!

      in 2.7, I meant PBJ* of course. I guess I should go to sleep now. This site is more addictive than Meth.

      May 4, 2009 at 1:33 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.12   thepill

      It’s L.A.

      May 4, 2009 at 10:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.13   Ti to the O bang

      and all you want to do is have some fun?

      May 4, 2009 at 12:02 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.14   Melissa

      You have to put your lunch in something… why waste money on a brown paper bag you’re going to throw away anyway when you already have something that’ll work? Banana Republic and Sephora also make bags that are a great size: they fit my lunch and don’t take up too much space in the fridge.

      May 4, 2009 at 1:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.15   oi!

      now, now Melissa you are not suppose to add logic and other intellectual stuff in this blog. This is PAN remember?
      Only Holier than thou and anal sex related jokes are allowed topic here.

      May 4, 2009 at 2:48 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.16   Dee

      Heh, my friend used to carry around a Kate Spade shopping bag through college. Her big sister had the job and the purse. I don’t think any actual handbag was so well cared for.

      May 4, 2009 at 7:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.17   Carol

      That bag is not just a person’s way of recycling, it’s huge and takes up lots of space. Using a plastic grocery bag would make sense, that’s a huge Coach shopping bag. Could it be any more obvious? I wonder if it belongs to the person who took the picture?

      May 6, 2009 at 12:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.18   Luxor

      Sad thing is… anyone with any real money thinks Coach (or any purse/bag under $1500) is a joke/crap brand.
      Now… Hermes on the other hand…

      Jun 23, 2009 at 6:50 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Holly Jahangiri

    What’s the yellow liquid in the unmarked bottle?

    Next time, just put the milk in a red biohazard bag labeled “Stool sample.” No one will touch it. Or the fridge. On second thought, they’ll probably haul your milk – AND the fridge – out and bury it in the HAZMAT landfill.

    *sigh* Never mind.

    May 3, 2009 at 12:54 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   leftfoot

      the yellow it’s apple juice..

      Well, that’s originally what came in that bottle. Considering there are spitters in the office, it may very well be pee pee.

      May 3, 2009 at 1:02 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Liz

      It’s Martinelli’s apple juice, no less. Delicious stuff. I wouldn’t leave it in a communal fridge.

      Unless I spit in it first.

      May 3, 2009 at 1:05 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Canthz_B bang

      It’s pretty obvious that someone has an appointment with their doctor after work.

      I just wish they’d put their name on it.

      May 3, 2009 at 1:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Flaboy2425

      If that’s urine sample, whoever’s it is has a kidney problem or it is left over from last week.

      May 3, 2009 at 4:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Canthz_B bang

      Hence the above-mentioned appointment with their doctor.
      I thought I made that clear, but after re-reading it I guess maybe not.

      May 3, 2009 at 6:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   hurfdurf

    Hurrr I’m a jerk because I don’t want idiot roomates using up my stuff hurrrrrr

    I hate people sometimes.

    May 3, 2009 at 1:04 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   TheOldSchool bang

      The Lite Salad Dressing hoarder reminds me of those seat-sniffer creeps I see lurking around the bike racks at convents, YWCAs, and Girls Reformatories.

      I do volunteer work at these places: mostly one on one counselling concerning sexual issues, along with having a hand in the administration of corporal punishment.

      (No switches, just bare hands upon bare bottoms — it allows one to get a better feel for what’s working and what’s not. Plus, we’re not savages; just abnormally strict disciplinarians.)

      My advice to the LSD hoarder’s co-workers:

      Don’t use the mayo.

      May 4, 2009 at 3:03 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Tweaker

      I can’t stand LSD hoarders either.
      Lovely on a salad and, while a bit tasteless, it does make the rest of the work day much more interesting.

      May 4, 2009 at 8:33 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   nick

    I can see you pee and spit.

    May 3, 2009 at 1:04 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   agatha christie

      Jeff Goldblum is watching you poop.

      May 3, 2009 at 7:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   aaa

      Jeff Goldblum’s the FBI? Oh wait, I think the FBI just watches you masturbate.

      May 3, 2009 at 8:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   mamason bang

      Really? The FBI likes to watch that? :-? …………………………………… brb

      May 3, 2009 at 9:54 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   geeklygirly bang

      Checking your bedroom for hidden cameras, hot mama? ;-)

      May 5, 2009 at 5:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   mamason bang

      A girl can dream. ;-)

      May 5, 2009 at 5:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Sabeline

    If you’re going to introduce contaminants, why keep it in the fridge? That one’s going to come back and bite him in the ass…

    May 3, 2009 at 1:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    Hey, it’s a Commie fridge.
    To each according to his need applies.
    Damned aristocrats spitting into their salad dressing so the proletariat cannot share in the pleasure of a delectable salad is just wrong.

    May 3, 2009 at 1:21 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      The phrase “communal” does tend to bring the share effect into play…If it is part of the commune then it is for one and all. What is needed is separatist fridgers for one and all so that none feels left out or reduced to the lower levels of office society.(punches the air) Power to the leftover.

      May 3, 2009 at 1:45 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Canthz_B bang

      Che Vinaigrette to the rescue!

      May 3, 2009 at 2:00 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      All cubicles are created equal. We are all brothers under the florescent light of office space. We must remember the Mayo.

      May 3, 2009 at 2:39 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   aaa

      All cubicles are equal. But some cubicles are more equal than others.

      May 3, 2009 at 3:07 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Canthz_B bang

      That’s so true, aaa.
      Those of us with the high-walled cubicles feel vastly superior to the schleps with the low-walled ones.
      I mean, you can’t even get a decent nap with low walls! Must be Hell!!

      May 3, 2009 at 3:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Then the walls MUST come down…

      May 3, 2009 at 4:12 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   geeklygirly bang

      Mamarilla: would that be Chairman Mayo you’re referring to?

      If you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mayo
      You ain’t gonna make it with anyone any-way-o

      May 5, 2009 at 5:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   clumber

      General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union fridge and eastern Europe ummm.. kitchens, if you seek liberalization, come here to this gate fridge. Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate fridge. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this…

      sorry lost interest. Hey look! A squi…..!

      May 6, 2009 at 9:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.9   Stephanie

      I love you. Let’s get married.

      …while maintaining entirely seperate spheres of existence, accordingly. :D Hahahaha, brilliant.

      May 9, 2009 at 5:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    You have to admit, though…that was a real “Krafty” move!

    May 3, 2009 at 1:23 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   anglophile bang

      I didn’t know people liked corn with salad dressing, CB.

      May 4, 2009 at 8:33 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Canthz_B bang

      Sure you didn’t…like all of those weird recipes on the back of the salad dressing weren’t made up in the Midwest! :-P

      May 4, 2009 at 8:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   octavius

    Isn’t the past of spit “spat”?

    May 3, 2009 at 1:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Then the past of Tit is tat?

      May 3, 2009 at 1:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   ryanmalloy

      Well, it is present tense:
      I spit in this (on a regular basis) to make up for the loss that the mysterious “someone” keeps on causing.

      May 3, 2009 at 1:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Canthz_B bang

      Didn’t we do “shit” and “shat” here a while back?

      Wait! Does that mean old ladies have “tats”, I mean, they used to be “tits”, but those belt buckle hugging sacks don’t remotely resemble “tits” anymore!

      I spit. He, she, or it spat? Not my strong suit.
      Like fish and fishes, I suppose. :???:

      Secondsout or Resident Grammarian may straighten this out for us.

      May 3, 2009 at 1:52 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Sweetie, If you have to roll it to get it to fit in the bra cup, then it most definately is a tat.

      May 3, 2009 at 1:54 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   Nerdette

      If there are many fish of the same species, they are fish. If there are many fish of multiple species, they are fishes.

      May 3, 2009 at 6:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   Canthz_B bang

      Then wouldn’t that be, “If there are many fishes of multiple species, they are fishes.”? :mrgreen:

      May 3, 2009 at 6:53 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   octavius

      Nice one.

      A plural dissertation on countable, uncountable and collective nouns is needed.

      Or perhaps not.

      May 3, 2009 at 9:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   park rose

      So, Jesus fed them loaves and fishes. I wonder what varieties they were.

      Fish is not an uncountable noun. It is an irregular noun, same as sheep, man, mouse, woman and so on. It is not collective, either. We use is with the singular and are with the plural. We just don’t add the ‘es’.

      In modern times, either fish or fishes is acceptable, however, sheeps hasn’t quite got the same approval rating.

      I thought the past of spit was spat, but according to this site either one is okay.

      No need to have a spat over it, of course. ;D

      (Takes off her pompous hat).

      May 3, 2009 at 11:37 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   Canthz_B bang

      Rose, rose, rose…if I had time I’d give you an Ebonics lesson.
      Damn near any combination of words and tenses is acceptable as long as “y’knowhatI’msay’n?” follows whatever the hell one has just said!

      May 4, 2009 at 12:22 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.10   Canthz_B bang

      Anyway, thanks for that, rose.

      I didn’t want to have to say “There are plenty of fishes in the sea.” the next time I get dumped! :-P

      May 4, 2009 at 12:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.11   Canthz_B bang

      Spit/spat is tricky.
      I’d say “Someone spit on me.”, but I could also be comfortable with “I was spat upon.”
      All would depend upon present company, of course.
      You don’t say “spat upon” at the barbershop…you may be spit on!

      May 4, 2009 at 12:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.12   anglophile bang

      I agree with you about something not being quite right about sheeps. For one thing, sending someone to “sleep with the sheeps” doesn’t sound all that threatening.

      May 4, 2009 at 8:39 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.13   park rose

      I thought counting the sheeps was how all people were sent to sleeps.

      May 4, 2009 at 8:40 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.14   Eric

      And it’s just so perverted and creepy to say you have mounted and stuffed trophy sheeps near the fireplace.

      May 4, 2009 at 8:33 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.15   Canaduck

      “Spit” works as past tense as well. I’m not going to be all pretentious and copy-paste from the dictionary. You’ll have to trust me on this one…or look it up yourself.

      May 4, 2009 at 11:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.16   Canthz_B bang

      Umm, I think that’s what we’ve been jokingly saying all along, Canaduck.
      But I won’t be all serious and look it up for myself. ;-)

      May 5, 2009 at 2:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.17   TheOldSchool bang

      If there’s a more mournful sound than those I heard echoing down from the cliffs to the harbor on that moonlit summer’s evening in 1991, I don’t want to hear them.

      We’d anchored the sailboat for the night in a picturesque little harbor just north of Swansea.

      All was peaceful until the pubs closed and the farmers returned to cliffside farms, and then decided to have their drunken way with sheep from their own flocks.

      Those baleful moans….

      Absolutely haunting.

      That night, I guess I lost a piece of my own innocence. From that point on, whenever I saw the twinkle in a Welshman’s eye, I was no longer charmed by it; quite the contrary, I was suspicious.

      (Doubly so, if he was a farmer who wore Wellington-style boots.)

      May 5, 2009 at 4:15 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.18   geeklygirly bang

      Gives “sleeps with the sheeps” a whole new meaning…

      May 5, 2009 at 5:34 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.19   tinkerbell2

      [suppresses urge to direct theoldschool to a map of Wales]

      May 6, 2009 at 8:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   pilgrimchick

    Equally disgusting. But the smart ass award goes to the guy with the red pen.

    May 3, 2009 at 2:36 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I am liking the little heart for showing that he really cares.

      May 3, 2009 at 2:47 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Canthz_B bang

      Better than sending an FTD.

      Fucking Transmitted Disease!

      What? You were expecting flowers?!

      May 3, 2009 at 2:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Canthz_B bang

      No, CB…we were expecting a hyphen. :roll:

      May 3, 2009 at 3:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   littleo

      I assumed the red pen user was female. (Or faaa-laming!)

      May 3, 2009 at 3:33 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Well.. didn’t they lose the hyphen the first time they had sex?

      May 3, 2009 at 4:15 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   Ti to the O bang

      Faaa-laming!
      :lol: :grin: :lol:

      May 4, 2009 at 2:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   geeklygirly bang

      Mamarilla: not if they’re both male!

      May 5, 2009 at 5:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   asdf

    It’s so annoying when people write that because you know nobody actually spits into their own food like that. It wouldn’t discourage me from eating it at all.

    May 3, 2009 at 2:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Amanda

      It wouldn’t discourage me even if I knew for certain they spit into it.

      May 3, 2009 at 7:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Lorelie

      It depends. Is it someone I’d be willing to make out with? Then pass me some of that dressing. . .

      May 4, 2009 at 11:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Bernd das Brot

      I would actually do the opposite: Spit in the bottle but not warn anyone and then wait and see who starts getting the, you know, herpes outbreaks.

      May 4, 2009 at 12:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Olson

    It doesn’t really look like the seal has been broken on the dressing.

    May 3, 2009 at 3:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   aaa

    See, what you do is spike some food with ipecac and leave it there for the unsuspecting food-stealing bastards to eat. That’ll show them what for.

    May 3, 2009 at 3:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   aaa

    Is it just me, or does Matt in Los Angeles look like he doesn’t have to be a giant douche if he doesn’t want to, but he just really enjoys douching himself up?

    May 3, 2009 at 3:11 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   mamason bang

      I think Matt might be the anti-douche. I’m pretty sure he creates feminine itch and odor.

      May 3, 2009 at 10:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   aaa

      So does douching. Y’know, being bad for the vaginal pH and microbe balance and all. So I guess that makes him douche plus?

      May 3, 2009 at 10:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   mamason bang

      The Uber-Douche!

      May 3, 2009 at 10:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   anglophile bang

      *not touching this thread with a ten-foot pole*

      *has hardly recovered from the fart thread*

      May 3, 2009 at 11:05 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   park rose

      What if you were touched with a ten-foot pole, though ‘glo?

      Would the need to douche come before or after?

      May 3, 2009 at 11:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   mamason bang

      Both!

      May 3, 2009 at 11:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Gunderson105

    If the spitter is hot, it would actually encourage me to use the food. Kinda like applying the transient property to face sucking.

    May 3, 2009 at 3:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   littleo

      “Transient property.” LOL – geometry for hobos.

      May 3, 2009 at 3:34 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Gunderson105

      What can I tell ya, my math teacher was a bum.

      May 4, 2009 at 8:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Ti to the O bang

      LHC = Large Hobo Collider

      May 4, 2009 at 2:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   zenvelo

    I guess Matt’s roommate works at Domino’s! Where’s the youtube of spitting in the dressing?

    May 3, 2009 at 3:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   N/A

      It was removed, it’s evidence in a criminal case now.

      May 4, 2009 at 11:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Ti to the O bang

      I guess Matt’s roommate will be getting a good dressing down.
      *puts on sunglasses, cues Who music.*

      May 4, 2009 at 12:06 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   amy d bang

      A good “dressing” down? You were unintentionally punny, Timo :D

      May 4, 2009 at 12:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   mamason bang

      I’m pretty sure that Timo’s pun was intentionally krafted, Glo.

      CSI= Crime Spit Investigators

      May 4, 2009 at 1:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   amy d bang

      Maybe so, Mama. It’s funnier if it wasn’t though.

      Btw, I’m amy d. It’s so nice to meet you :D

      May 4, 2009 at 1:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   Ti to the O bang

      You both know me too well. :lol:

      May 4, 2009 at 2:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   anglophile bang

      Shame mamason doesn’t know me or amy_d all that well. ;)

      May 4, 2009 at 2:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.8   mamason bang

      :oops:

      May 4, 2009 at 2:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.9   geeklygirly bang

      OH GOD NOT A DAVID CARUSO REFERENCE

      Save me, William Petersen!!

      May 5, 2009 at 5:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.10   geeklygirly bang

      *just realized that shortly after making that comment, made a CSI: Miami comment on an earlier post*

      *still kinda wants Grissom to come to the rescue…*

      May 5, 2009 at 8:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Jango

    2% milk for coffee? Someone has no fscking clue. It is the fat in the milk that makes the coffee taste better. 2% milk is just some kind of bleach for the coffee and placebo when it comes to taste. You could just wank into the coffee if you like it bleached.

    People with a 2% milk spleen deserve spit in it.

    May 3, 2009 at 5:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Amanda

      So what about the people who like soy milk or nonfat?

      May 3, 2009 at 7:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   aaa

      Soy milk and nonfat are even lower than wank. I don’t know what’s lower than semen, but whatever it is, soy milk and nonfat are it. (So says the vegetarian who drinks Silk.)

      May 3, 2009 at 8:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   nick

      Half and half is where its at…. not that fat free crap either! Real stuff.

      May 3, 2009 at 9:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   oi!

      soy milk drinkers should die.
      Well I guess lactose intolerant can live but they should be embarrassed at the least.

      May 4, 2009 at 12:32 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Canthz_B bang

      Is it a surprise that I like it hot, sweet and black?! :-P

      May 4, 2009 at 1:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   ashmeadow

      I prefer mine tall, dark, and handsome ;)

      May 4, 2009 at 1:30 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   Canthz_B bang

      ☑ Tall
      ☑ Dark
      ☑ Handsome

      What-up?! :-D

      May 4, 2009 at 2:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   PhD student

      Soy Nazis.

      May 4, 2009 at 4:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.9   anglophile bang

      Oh sure, we lukewarm, artificially sweetened, white types don’t have any fans.

      May 4, 2009 at 8:42 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.10   park rose bang

      You can be the saccharine in my flat white any time, glo ♥

      May 4, 2009 at 8:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.11   Beanster bang

      hot, dark and on the kitchen table.

      May 4, 2009 at 9:20 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.12   anglophile bang

      Thanks, rose, for broadcasting my lack of cleavage.

      *sigh*

      May 4, 2009 at 9:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.13   park rose bang

      I happen to know for a fact that you are not lacking in cleavage. ;) I was referring to my flat white. My flat white what, I do not know. Let your imagination run amok.

      May 4, 2009 at 9:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.14   N/A

      Coffee should always be black. Always. OK, always black unless it’s a Starbucks peppermint white chocolate soy mocha but really that’s candy, not coffee.

      May 4, 2009 at 12:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.15   mamason bang

      I like mine large, black and strong with just a dollop of cream… oh! We’re still talking about coffee? Well, I don’t drink coffee. :-|

      May 4, 2009 at 1:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.16   Ti to the O bang

      Cafe au Lait sweet and hot please, kitchen table, counter, coffee table, patio…Yeah pretty much anywhere will do.

      May 4, 2009 at 2:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.17   aaa

      Albino, bitter, and mechanical plz?

      May 4, 2009 at 2:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Carrie

    I wanna know what douchebag packs their lunch in a Coach bag…

    May 3, 2009 at 8:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   aaa

      A douchebag that likes showing people they buy Coach. Or that they fuck somebody who buys Coach.

      May 3, 2009 at 9:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   nick

      OH… I paid $450 for a purse. Now I have no money to put in it… and I can’t afford a brown paper sack.

      May 3, 2009 at 9:08 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   mamason bang

      WTF is Coach? Is it a sporting goods store?

      May 3, 2009 at 10:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   Neeners

      They sell high end leather purses and wallets etc.

      Another question, what is the THANKS for? You just spit in it, wouldn’t you want the offenders to keep using it and keep it a secret?

      May 3, 2009 at 10:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   TheOldSchool bang

      I don’t know if any of you kids remember the late Nicholas Colasanto? Probably not.

      Before your time.

      He played a character named Ernie Pantusso, on a show that was a big hit, once upon a time.

      One of his nicknames was “Red.” Here’s the kicker: his hair wasn’t red. He got the name because he had “read” a book. What a character.

      His other nickname was “Coach.” The hit show was “Cheers.” The Coach leathergoods company was founded in 1985, and named after him.

      Now you know……. the rest of the story.

      May 4, 2009 at 2:24 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   Canthz_B bang

      Coach was The Man!

      Remember the episode where he talked about getting hit by pitches?

      He got hit by 50 too many for sure.

      Trivia…there was a picture of him on the back wall of Cheers in every episode filmed after the actor passed away.

      May 4, 2009 at 2:34 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.7   Ti to the O bang

      Oops, nevermind.

      May 4, 2009 at 2:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.8   Neeners

      Funny – Coach was the least pretentious guy ever.

      Now he’s named after overpriced purses and crap. Wierd!

      May 4, 2009 at 7:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.9   octavius

      Even so, I’d rather eat out of a Coach bag than a douchebag.

      May 4, 2009 at 11:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   mamason bang

    Kraft Light? bleh! I want my salad dressing with all the fat in it, the way God intended!

    May 3, 2009 at 10:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   mamason bang

      btw… “writes matt in los angeles: “i went to get some of the 2% milk …

      Matt’s gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

      May 3, 2009 at 10:07 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Matt Punk

      I’m not sure what me being gay has anything to do with this?

      May 4, 2009 at 8:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   aaa

      Absolutely everything.

      May 4, 2009 at 9:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Canthz_B bang

      Matt’s been hanging out with the Flintstones?

      May 4, 2009 at 11:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   Matt Punk

      mamason’s boyfriend is BLACK

      *not that there is anything wrong with that.

      (See how effed up that is?)

      May 5, 2009 at 1:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.6   anglophile bang

      That is effed up. She’s actually married to him. Can you believe it?

      Um, did you read this site before you submitted the note, Matt? Because you got off really easy compared to some of the other submitters. It’s kind of a rough crowd here.

      May 5, 2009 at 2:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.7   Mishee™ bang

      Wait… they allowed mamason to marry him?

      What is the world coming to?

      Next thing you know, the gays (like Matt) will be using skim milk, like the rest of us!

      WTF?

      May 5, 2009 at 2:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.8   mamason bang

      I’m sorry if I offended you Matt. Truly. I want folks to come here and enjoy the experience and if I have detracted from your enjoyment even one iota, then I’ve done Kerry and everyone here a dis-service. I hope you can forgive me and continue joining in the fun times we all have here. But if you do continue to visit you might want to grow some balls or at the very least invest in some Puffs. When you’re done crying, why don’t you join us. We’ll be the ones pointing and laughing. One thing we do frequently here, is make fun of stereotypes. I think Toshiba is the funniest but not everyone agrees with me. Samsung can be pretty hilarious too.

      May 5, 2009 at 2:39 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.9   geeklygirly bang

      I don’t think it’s the fact that he uses 2% that makes him seem gay; it’s the fact that he specified what kind of milk he he went to the fridge for.

      (I know, I know, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which grammar nazis will not put. DEAL.)

      May 5, 2009 at 5:47 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.10   park rose

      I’m all for propositions. What’s that? Prepositions you say?. . . Never mind.

      May 5, 2009 at 6:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.11   geeklygirly bang

      Propositions are more fun with prepositions!

      On… over… under… above… below… between… in… out…

      May 5, 2009 at 6:47 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Neeners

    My husband always says never to mouth off to the fast food drive through person because they spit in your food if you get uppity about something. Obviously this crosses over to other domains.

    May 3, 2009 at 10:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   oi!

    Let me get this straight, all this spitorama over a kraft salad dressing?
    That coach bag must be owned by original note writer.

    May 4, 2009 at 12:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      So, if you want everyone to leave your stuff alone, buy off brand and generic crap and no one will touch it….feh.

      May 4, 2009 at 12:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   oi!

      if you want your condiments to be left alone(which I think is ridiculous on par with clean gas station restrooms) do not put in a communal refrigerators.

      May 4, 2009 at 12:37 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Carey

    I think it’s obvious that if you don’t put your name on a condiment or other multi-use product, it’s open to communal use.

    May 4, 2009 at 12:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Canthz_B bang

      This is my catsup. Don’t let me ketchup to you if you use it!!

      May 4, 2009 at 1:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   Neeners

      Maybe the owners name is Kraft. It was redundant to label it twice.

      May 4, 2009 at 7:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   geeklygirly bang

      In many communal fridges, putting your name on it won’t stop anyone from using it…

      May 5, 2009 at 5:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   leftfoot

    I wonder if the nameless lunch in the ziploc bag feels inferior to the Coach bag lunch.

    May 4, 2009 at 1:24 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      The real passive aggressiveness here belongs to that Coach bag. See how it’s crowding all of the inferior wrinkled lunch bags with its tall pristine logo-laden pompousness?

      May 4, 2009 at 11:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   N/A

      I wouldn’t call it pristine, looks to me like that bag has been used over and over again. Another few uses and the owner will have to use it for putting out the paper recycling.

      May 4, 2009 at 12:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   geeklygirly bang

      N/A: Uh, are you secretly monitoring my shopping-bag-use habits?

      May 5, 2009 at 5:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   ashmeadow

    What I love about this note is that the rebuttal seems to imply some long suffered jerkiness from the note writer. It leaves one to wonder what other PA notes the person might have written.

    May 4, 2009 at 1:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   April

    Its not even open.

    May 4, 2009 at 2:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   claw71 bang

    Yeah, well I just had a threesome with both your moms just (since you suck) and I used this bottle of dressing as a butt plug.

    May 4, 2009 at 9:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   TheOldSchool bang

      Claw, for the sake of historical accuracy, can you tell us which end of the bottle was inserted?

      May 4, 2009 at 10:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   GhostWriter bang

    Hey- somebody must have spit in my okra, too!

    May 4, 2009 at 10:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   thirty six red

    It may simply be a social experiment. Plastic roaches in there would work without the need for notes.

    May 4, 2009 at 11:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Woman on the Verge bang

    If only the red addition had said:

    I spit in it too and I have swine flu!

    It would have been PA and it would have rhymed! Double PA points!

    May 4, 2009 at 12:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   amy d bang

      And topical. triple PAN points.

      I spit in it too and I have swine flu!

      And now, so do you!

      May 4, 2009 at 12:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Ti to the O bang

    “Hey your spit is in my Kraft™ light! Hey your Kraft™ light is in my Spit!”

    May 4, 2009 at 12:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Michelle

    One of my biggest pet peeves– Brand-name bags used to carry lunch. “Oh this? I just grabbed a random bag to carry my lunch. Nothing special”.
    Cringe.

    May 4, 2009 at 1:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Mishee™ bang

      One of my biggest pet peeves is when people post comments with their blog URL in their screen name, and then also include it in the body of the comment.

      But that’s just me.

      May 4, 2009 at 5:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   anglophile bang

      A first offense can be forgiven, because the poster may not know that their website gets linked to their name. Continued shilling does get a little tiresome.

      Your mileage may vary.

      May 4, 2009 at 5:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   Mishee™ bang

      But just think Glo, unless I do my civic duty by telling them that we know how to get to their precious blog, how will they ever know????

      Its not like I assigned Unitard punishment already, I was just bringing it up casually in conversation…

      :)

      May 4, 2009 at 6:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   park rose bang

      Your pet peeves have a gradating scale of peevishness, Michelle? ;)

      *Phew, lucky Michelle and Mish share a name*

      May 4, 2009 at 6:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.5   Mishee™ bang

      Geez Rose…

      You just told everyone my name.

      Now I feel so nekkid.

      May 4, 2009 at 6:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.6   Mark bang

      *leers at Mishee™’s shiny metal ass*

      May 4, 2009 at 7:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.7   park rose bang

      Sorry, Mish. I figured anyone with superior sleuthing skills like mine might be able to figure it out. . .

      You see, first I targeted you in my comment, and then I saw I was wrong, so I edited, but the end result doesn’t show all the hard work that went into that process. I just didn’t want to incur the wrath of Mishee, but I incurred it anyway. *sob…really wants to get out of this unitard some day soon*

      May 4, 2009 at 8:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   MGMDetroit

    a big fail

    May 4, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Sue Do Nim

    Thanks, Matt, for telling us you keep your 2% milk for your coffee in the fridge; otherwise, it wouldn’t have been so funny.

    May 4, 2009 at 5:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   oi!

      No It would not. Read threads 17 and 19.

      May 4, 2009 at 8:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   Canthz_B bang

      I’ve been wondering why Matt felt it was necessary to add that bit about his 2% milk.

      I guess he just got health-conscious.
      You know how people get when they just start doing something new in their lives and can’t wait to let everyone know?
      The next phase is advising the rest of the office what to use in their coffee.

      “Hey, I stopped eating red meat and I feel GREAT!!
      You should stop eating red meat too!”

      Those types grate on my next-to-last nerve.

      May 4, 2009 at 8:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   geeklygirly bang

      That irritates me too, but for a different reason.

      “I gave up drinking regular soda/switched to skim milk/etc. and lost ten pounds!”

      Great! I’ve been drinking diet soda and skim milk since I was a kid and I’m still overweight! But thanks for the tip!

      May 5, 2009 at 5:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Girl Friday

    You spit?

    I swallow.

    Shake well before using!

    May 4, 2009 at 10:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   Canthz_B bang

      I’m gonna need your phone number, GF! :lol:

      May 4, 2009 at 11:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   Ti to the O bang

      Shake it like a salt shaker!

      May 6, 2009 at 9:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   anglophile bang

    I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve come to the conclusion that if I did spit in my salad dressing, I would be too grossed out to use it myself.

    May 5, 2009 at 5:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Canthz_B bang

      Considering that saliva is a digestive juice, yeah…expectorating into a bottle of salad dressing isn’t the brightest idea this person ever had.

      I hope!

      May 5, 2009 at 8:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   RP

      MTE

      Just because any germs that were in your spit came from your own mouth doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to ingest a substance you’ve allowed them to fester in.

      G-d, now I’m nauseated.

      May 5, 2009 at 11:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   Daisychain 1978

    Screw the spit in the salad dressing, I am more concerned about the pee in the bottle to the right.

    As least the PAN gave the communal fridge thief a warning.

    May 5, 2009 at 12:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   DearJane

    The festering spit in the salad dressing would either
    A: Become infused with all of the unnatural crap in the dressing and become a super flu such as the world has never seen
    -or-
    B: Use it’s digestive juices to inhale the bottle of dressing, until there is nothing left but a speck of basil.
    So perhaps no one is using the dressing, the spit is just dissolving it.
    Ew

    May 5, 2009 at 2:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Asha

    I don’t blame someone being pissed off about other people helping themselves to the food products they specially bring to work.
    I’m lactose intolerant and eat my breakfast at my desk in the morning. I keep a container of almond milk in the fridge and I have had it mysteriously drain overnight. Frankly, if I bring something and write my name on it, people should fuck off and leave it be.

    May 5, 2009 at 3:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Canthz_B bang

      You think the work fridge is your fridge away from home. But it’s not. It’s there to keep what you bring from home (daily) fresh until lunchtime. It’s not there to store your week’s worth of lunch and snacks.
      If you need to bring a special milk for yourself, fine.
      Invest in a Thermos.

      May 5, 2009 at 8:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Lauren

    Doesn’t she know that bacteria will just BREED in that dressing now?

    May 6, 2009 at 1:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   viagra

    If you have to do it, you might as well do it right

    May 14, 2009 at 1:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Jessica

    hm….the bottle isn’t even opened yet. I think I saw one other person out of the 40 before me that noticed. It isn’t even open, so your concerns about the multiplying bacteria inside from the “spit” are irrelevant.

    May 14, 2009 at 11:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   bumpaddler

    This site is awesome, mentioned you on my site: http://bumpaddler.com/archives/978

    May 20, 2009 at 12:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Ae Cha

    That is so disgusting, why not buy a mini freg. and keep your food in it.
    No need to spit. Save it for digesting your food.

    May 24, 2009 at 1:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   RB

    Instead of spitting in the food, he should punch his loser roommate in the face. Stealing food is weak. Punch the thief in the face.

    May 26, 2009 at 8:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   pd

    haha RB im guessing you’re the sort of person that would leave a note? you’re ridiculous, and so’s the person who wrote this note in the first place. the second comment though – classic. its funny even if they didnt actually spit in it, just for the fuming it would cause. hopefully then the loser hoarder would move out

    Jul 8, 2009 at 11:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Those heirloom tomatoes had sentimental value! | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Frustrated by fridge thieves who continually ignore your polite (or not-so-polite) requests to keep their paws to themselves? Don’t get mad — get creative! You could end up with something so crazy it might actually work…that is, if it doesn’t totally backfire. [...]

    Aug 1, 2010 at 7:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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