A busy working mom in Austin, Texas got this little love note on her BlackBerry from her sixteen-year-old son. (Michael is his friend, by the way, not the craft store.)
In the end, our submitter adds, he didn’t take the bus after all. Total bluff!
related: friends don’t lie 2 friends
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290 responses so far ↓
#1
nick
Yea! I finally made it!! Now can I sit with the cool kids? Can I be one of the in crowd?
May 6, 2009 at 7:10 am rating: 5
#2
mick . . .
no
May 6, 2009 at 7:12 am rating: 5
#3
anglophile
Aw, that’s so sweet!
It’s nice to see kids brought up in the PA way.
May 6, 2009 at 7:16 am rating: 12
#4
anglophile
Of course, maybe threatening to go to Michaels and turn to teh ghey would have been better emotional blackmail.
A lot of moms’ greatest fear is that her son will take up artificial flower arranging.
May 6, 2009 at 7:19 am rating: 29
#5
park rose
Wow… from her son?
I’ll have you know that I love you – and that’s a threat…
And where does Michael live? Toronto?
May 6, 2009 at 7:19 am rating: 33
#6
Wade
“I c ur mad” is understandable as text speak, a kind of modern day “short thumb” to save time and effort.
“im on the bus right know”, on the other hand, is just ignorant.
May 6, 2009 at 7:19 am rating: 42
#7
anglophile
Why is there no turning back? Doesn’t the bus make a return trip?
May 6, 2009 at 7:26 am rating: 68
#8
nick
He sounds like a hard headed brat who needs to have his cell phone taken away and be grounded for a few weeks.
May 6, 2009 at 7:27 am rating: 18
#9
kt
but could she have prevented it?
May 6, 2009 at 7:32 am rating: 5
#10
Woman on the Verge
The real threat is that he will continue to use chatspeak when he gets home. Gotta love it when the kids resort to actually talking that way. They say something naughty and follow up with, “JK LOL”.
May 6, 2009 at 7:32 am rating: 9
#11
Grimfool_Reluctant
Other posters will discuss the kid’s text-lingo, grammar and spelling (im on the bus right know). Other posters will discuss “these kids today”, etc.
The kid’s a jerk. So what? Sixteen-year-old males are supposed to be jerks (it’s hormonal tsunami season, and the effects on males last for up to 60 years). You can’t kill all 16-year-old boys, and you’ll probably get arrested just for doing one, so why even let it bother you?
This poster prefers to discuss the poor busy working mother who has obviously not yet learned that being P/A is not the way to effectively communicate with a testosteronally-inundated humanoid. She probably didn’t jerk his chain a few years ago when it might have made a difference, so “know” she’s ignoring his phone calls . . . and, when he finally gives her textual evidence that she can use against him, who does she turn to? Not Judge Judy, not Dr. Phil, but PAN. Wow, mom, you really showed him, didn’t you? What are you going to do now, make him look at this page and read the comments?
On the other hand, maybe the 16-year-old jerkoff is isuck, and he’s already reading this.
Anyway, busy working mom, get a clue or get a grip or give up. Exercise parental guidance or stop making it public.
May 6, 2009 at 7:35 am rating: 43
#12
park rose
I always read ‘ur’ phonetically, and I imagine the sound is a bit like a pirate swilling marbles (I usually type yr, though I know ur is more common). So, I’m hearing the text as a marble-mouthed pirate might say it:
I see URRRHHH mad u think URRRHHH all cool, me hearties, because URRRHHH not returning my calls (You call that a hook? This is a hook). ill have you know ive got a plank and i know URRRHHH how to use it and im on it right URRRHHH now so there is no tURRRHHHning back. . . ill have you know that i have always loved you URRRHHH if you would not have been so stubURRRHHHn u could have prevented this.
May 6, 2009 at 7:43 am rating: 74
#13
nick
Grim – you call him a 16 year old jerkoff… you evidently remember what it was like to be 16.
May 6, 2009 at 7:51 am rating: 6
#14
Gunderson105
That kid needs his ass turned into a black-n-blue berry.
May 6, 2009 at 8:36 am rating: 9
#15
TJ
Um… am I the only one who thinks the kid is maybe being funny?
Because that’s funny. Deliberately overdramatic, accusing his mother of being mad enough to screen his calls? The “I’ll have you know I love you” at the end is a dead give away.
I think he’s joking. And I think it’s hilarious. And I think y’all are so quick to tear apart grammar, spelling and parenting style that you’ve missed that this kid is a damn riot.
May 6, 2009 at 8:53 am rating: 40
#16
CS harmonikah
“no turning back”
“You could have prevented this”(twice)
It’s very dramatic.
What is so serious about Michael’s house?
Are they running away to Mexico? Are they going to do crack? Is Michael a 36 year old pedophile? Sacrifices to Satan?
At least he did not get on the bus because then “there would be no turning back”
May 6, 2009 at 8:54 am rating: 19
#17
CS harmonikah
Does anyone else think this message would be so much better if the Michaels was the craft store.
“I’ll do it Mom. you cant stop me. I will take up a hobby. I’m serious, dont think that i wont. You could have prevented this mom, I’m taking up cross-stitch and there is nothing you can do to stop me”
May 6, 2009 at 8:59 am rating: 43
#18
Canthz_B
Aww, hees soe cyoot!!
May 6, 2009 at 9:03 am rating: 1
#19
Rob T Firefly
I’m just going to go on believing that “Michael’s” is in fact the craft store.
“Dammit mom, I’m buying hot glue, ladybug buttons, and rickrack and you can’t stop me!! I love you.”
May 6, 2009 at 9:15 am rating: 15
#20
MeToo
The kid is a genius! By using a mother’s tool – “I’ll have you know that I love you” – he has entered a whole new realm of smart. And smart-assedness. (Hey, new word!)
But yeah, if he’s being serious, I’d be concerned about his trip to Michael’s.
(Heh heh, “mother’s tool”)
May 6, 2009 at 9:20 am rating: 7
#21
ally
go team mum for posting here – real passive aggressive payback
extra points for getting a ‘friend’ to post it for you
May 6, 2009 at 9:30 am rating: 4
#22
QuarterRoy00
That note has less periods than an old folks home…
May 6, 2009 at 9:33 am rating: 7
#23
amy d
Teens are master manipulators. Here is my translation of what the teen means:
I c ur mad! = Normally, I wouldn’t care that you were mad, but you are ignoring my needs so it must be addressed.
u think ur all cool because ur ignoring my calls. = I think I’m cool when I ignore your calls, so that must also be how you feel when the situation is reversed.
…but I’ll have you know that I’m going to michaels and im on the bus right now so there is no turning back u could have prevented this if u would not have been so stubborn… = I called to ask permission to go to Michael’s but you didn’t answer your phone. You probably would have said “no” anyway, so this gives me an excuse to go ahead and do it and blame it on you.
I’ll have u know that I love you. = Laying the groundwork for getting out of trouble for what I am doing right now.
May 6, 2009 at 9:42 am rating: 42
#24
Mishee™
I see that this boy may not be going to Michael’s the store for crafting supplies, but the way he writes makes me think he is an aspiring “Prince-esque” songwriter?
May 6, 2009 at 9:45 am rating: 4
#25
Neeners
Reading this I felt like I was in a bad high school creative writing class. Or possibly the melodramatic teen thinks that maybe he’s an aspiring writer and/or theater major.
I can see him acting the part out as I read. Micheal is the homosexual lover and the mother is trying to keep them apart. Or better yet Micheal is the writing coach and editor he desperately needs to make it big and have his first works published in the Podunck Texas Gazette (87 readers total). This thing could make a big splash, his writing will be discovered and soon be made into an after school special.
May 6, 2009 at 9:46 am rating: 1
#26
claw71
So it’s pretty clear to everyone that mom’s banging her son, right?
May 6, 2009 at 10:10 am rating: 15
#27
Neeners
As punishment for lying and being annoying, he should have to ride the damn bus for awhile.
May 6, 2009 at 10:25 am rating: 1
#28
Laura
Kids like this need to be falcon punched….repeatedly.
May 6, 2009 at 10:37 am rating: 2
#29
Bernd das Brot
ill have u know that im on the shortbus right know
May 6, 2009 at 10:47 am rating: 3
#30
Amp
No one should ever speak to their mother that way. That boy needs to be slapped.
May 6, 2009 at 10:56 am rating: 2
#31
NoAdditives
You know, the kid is probably just mad that his mom wouldn’t pick him up from school. She probably told him she was too busy at work and that he should walk home. If the walk is more than a mile I can sympathize. I was in the same situation in high school, sort of. (My mom didn’t work and totally could have picked me up.)
As a former teenager I remember how much that sucks. I was a good kid and always just walked. Or I took the bus and still had to walk a mile home.
His message isn’t even that bad, but if his mother is a good parent the kid will be grounded for it anyway.
May 6, 2009 at 11:10 am rating: 1
#32
unholyghost2003
Just what is Mom’s job? I have to assume that she works in the oil industry as that is the only reason I can imagine for her wanting to prevent people from using public transportation.
BURN MORE FOSSIL FUELS!!!
May 6, 2009 at 11:12 am rating: 6
#33
Rach
to UnholyGhost–the buses here in Austin are an unholy terror. Our “public transportation” has a few more steps to mature before I’d stick a kid on one. The new Metrorail is due is 2016 though…
May 6, 2009 at 11:53 am rating: 2
#34
TheOldSchool
I’m often told, by people in all walks of life, that I have “sweet-smelling balls.”
Word gets around.
Soon, friends are asking me for my secret.
“Johnson’s baby powder your scrotum,” I say.
They come back saying it didn’t work.
“Well, that’s because you thought you could atone for years of neglect in one powder dump. It doesn’t work that way. A gentle coat first thing in the morning and the last at night. Then, gradually, your nutsack will draw rather than repel.
(Moms like it, too.)
May 6, 2009 at 12:38 pm rating: 6
#35
claw71
Couldn’t help but think of Van Halen on this one:
Don’t wanna wait til tomorrow,
Mike and I want to play
Too far to walk, it’s a problem
I’ll take the bus, alright? OK?
Ignore my call, u think ur cool, eh?
But I’ve got a way to get even
I’ll text my plans, don’t even care what you say, hey
it’s too late to turn, turn the bus around
Right KNOW…hey
see ya tomorrow
Right KNOW
Michael is everything
Right KNOW
May 6, 2009 at 12:55 pm rating: 7
#36
aaa
*sigh* And here I was going to make some smartass comment about sixteen-year-old boys needing to pick up yarn and fake flowers. You just have to suck all the fun out of everything, don’ t you, Kerry? :/
May 6, 2009 at 1:07 pm rating: 1
#37
mrs. pommelhorst
…deep down inside him, he’s no good…
(I’m no good!)
May 6, 2009 at 3:40 pm rating: 1
#38
MAMARILLA2
…Its just his bringing upke…
May 6, 2009 at 4:00 pm rating: 1
#39
Girl Friday
This kid is going to grow up to be the VP of the Department of Redundancy Department with all that “u could have prevented this if u would not have been so stubborn u could have prevented this!”
May 6, 2009 at 4:05 pm rating: 1
#40
barbaraxmanatee
I just wanted to post to assure all y’all that not every teen has bad grammar. I’m technically still a teen and I’d like you to know that I paid attention in school. Grammar ftw! PS: Even though I can understand not-Michael, I’m on team mom.
May 6, 2009 at 4:33 pm rating: 5
#41
MW
Perhaps the mom should invest in a better education for her retarded spawn. Thanks for populating the Earth with idiots, lady.
May 6, 2009 at 4:40 pm rating: 4
#42
Neeners
Everyone keeps saying what losers the mom and the son are but I think we were all just as dorky and ridiculous at that age. Why else would your parents have beaten the shit out of some of you?? Personally, I think the kid played it to the hilt and should get an Oscar. Only one though, then the beatings continue.
May 6, 2009 at 5:05 pm rating: 3
#43
Jenny
Haha, I didn’t read the part before the note. So I was wondering why he thought it was so threatening to go to the craft store.
YOU BETTER NOT PISS ME OFF, OR I’M GOING TO GO BUY SOME MODGE PODGE AND GO DECOUPAGE SOMETHING!
May 6, 2009 at 9:58 pm rating: 6
#44
Jen
I like all the mom beating children stuff… as a truly awful teen I would threaten my parents with calling child protective services on them if they even threatened… it worked.
May 6, 2009 at 11:02 pm rating: 0
#45
Girl Friday
Stupid Kids these days!
May 7, 2009 at 8:37 am rating: 1
#46
Heather
This is the cutest ever.
May 8, 2009 at 2:18 am rating: 0
#47
Dory
I love that the comments here are always almost better than (and sometimes surpass) the post itself. You all crack me up! (I’ll have you know I was going to put ‘y’all’ but was afraid it would sound too hokey!)
May 10, 2009 at 1:11 am rating: 2
#48
Jasperdragon
Ok….all I can say about the note (because I refuse to read over 200 comments) is that there seems to be some confusion as to who is the parent and who is the child. If it was my kid, his rear end would have been retrieved and soaked in hot water for that little manuever. Hope you gave him hell for the stunt.
May 10, 2009 at 2:46 am rating: 0
#49
Isa
That sounds a lot like the text or whatever it was that the kid from the series opener of Caprica sent to her mom right before the subway blew up.
Jun 12, 2009 at 5:06 am rating: 0
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