I’ll have u know

May 6th, 2009 · 290 comments

A busy working mom in Austin, Texas got this little love note on her BlackBerry from her sixteen-year-old son. (Michael is his friend, by the way,  not the craft store.)

I c ur mad

In the end, our submitter adds, he didn’t take the bus after all. Total bluff!

related: friends don’t lie 2 friends

FILED UNDER: Austin · e-mail · kids today · Moms & Dads · schools & teachers · signed with love · spelling and grammar police


290 responses so far ↓

  • #1   nick

    Yea! I finally made it!! Now can I sit with the cool kids? Can I be one of the in crowd?

    May 6, 2009 at 7:10 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   TheOldSchool bang

      I saw this txt msg on the ‘puter two nights ago:

      “dude. I’m so drunk”
      “pete, this is bryce’s mom”
      “I can’t wait to have my cock in your ass”
      “pete, this is still bryce’s mom”

      May 6, 2009 at 12:21 pm   rating: 105  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   unfortunate names

      that was the best text on a site with great texts… and who knows maybe pete has had his ‘fill’ of bryce and wants a piece of his mom!

      May 7, 2009 at 8:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   mick . . .

    no

    May 6, 2009 at 7:12 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   park rose bang

      know

      May 6, 2009 at 7:20 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   T

      noe

      May 6, 2009 at 9:08 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   nick

      Please… I have been waiting so long.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:20 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      nick, dear, you don’t have to be first. You have to be funny.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:37 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Ti to the O bang

      s’ok u kewl wit dat. :lol:

      May 6, 2009 at 9:59 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   mamason bang

      Nick… don’t ask, just be.

      May 6, 2009 at 3:23 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Daisychain 1978

      Hell to the Gno.

      May 7, 2009 at 11:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   anglophile bang

    Aw, that’s so sweet!

    It’s nice to see kids brought up in the PA way.

    May 6, 2009 at 7:16 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Meesh

      “You, all right? I learned it by watching you!”

      May 6, 2009 at 12:49 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Bunnee

      If that commercial was realistic in the least, the next line would say, “Alright, then, you little shit, give up the rest of the goods, and I will ‘take care of them’. Oh, if you happen to smell anything, that’s just, um, incense.”

      May 6, 2009 at 1:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   anglophile bang

    Of course, maybe threatening to go to Michaels and turn to teh ghey would have been better emotional blackmail.

    A lot of moms’ greatest fear is that her son will take up artificial flower arranging.

    May 6, 2009 at 7:19 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   park rose

      Only if he’d been on the gheyhound bus would that have occurred.

      May 6, 2009 at 8:52 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   mamason bang

      I wonder if Matt wrote this note to his mom?

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      May 6, 2009 at 3:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Geek Goddess

      I fear having a daughter take up artificial flower arranging.

      *has flashback to dusty thick plastic flowers in vases on plastic doilies*
      *shudders*

      May 6, 2009 at 5:25 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   park rose bang

    Wow… from her son?
    I’ll have you know that I love you – and that’s a threat…

    And where does Michael live? Toronto?

    May 6, 2009 at 7:19 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Canthz_B bang

      He believes that true love hurts.
      That’s why he’s on his way to Michael’s place.
      Michael is so cool he doesn’t even drive, so he can’t pick up his newest conquest.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:08 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Wade bang

    “I c ur mad” is understandable as text speak, a kind of modern day “short thumb” to save time and effort.

    “im on the bus right know”, on the other hand, is just ignorant.

    May 6, 2009 at 7:19 am   rating: 43  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   park rose bang

      Other than that, though, he’s written a pretty lucid text, though he has a predilection for auxiliaries and have and know and prevented and prevented, I’ll have you know.

      May 6, 2009 at 7:24 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   anglophile bang

    Why is there no turning back? Doesn’t the bus make a return trip?

    May 6, 2009 at 7:26 am   rating: 69  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   TheOldSchool bang

      This is just speculation, but I’m guessing the lad has hi-jacked the bus. He and Michael have devised a romantic but somewhat foolhardy plan where they’re have cellphone sex with one another, and then at the precise moment of their simultaneous orgasms, the kid crashes the bus into Michael’s house, and they both die in the fiery explosion, just like Romeo and Romeo.

      I say “foolhardy” because it is always difficult for 16 year old boys to coordinate simultaneous orgasms .

      May 6, 2009 at 7:41 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   mamason bang

      :-? … and you would know this because….

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      May 6, 2009 at 7:58 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   TheOldSchool bang

      Mama,

      I hope you’re kidding. I’d bet that 90 percent of the guys at PAN male lovers at 16, and that 90 percent of them have stolen a bus for exactly this purpose. It’s called “growing up.”

      If not for the nettlesome issues of synchronizing orgasms, buses with manual transmissions, our country might have lost an entire generation to these flaming wrecks.

      May 6, 2009 at 8:32 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   brewhousedoll

      once the cherry is popped, there is no turning back.

      May 8, 2009 at 5:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   nick

    He sounds like a hard headed brat who needs to have his cell phone taken away and be grounded for a few weeks.

    May 6, 2009 at 7:27 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Beanster bang

      he sounds adorable and sad. even in his zenith of angst he assures his mumma that he loves her.

      “IM SO MAD AT YOU AND ITS ALL YOUR FAULT *hugs* XD”

      May 6, 2009 at 9:34 am   rating: 54  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Oh Bean, He just said that so that Mom wouldn’t kill him so bad when she caught up to him..call it teen-guilt in action.

      May 6, 2009 at 1:40 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   kt

    but could she have prevented it?

    May 6, 2009 at 7:32 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      No.

      May 6, 2009 at 2:18 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   mamason bang

      know.

      May 6, 2009 at 3:38 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Ti to the O bang

      Noes!

      May 6, 2009 at 3:54 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      Nose!

      May 6, 2009 at 4:10 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   Geek Goddess

      Knows!

      May 6, 2009 at 5:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   Mark bang

      Follow my nose! It always knows!

      May 6, 2009 at 5:31 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   amy d bang

      N’oh!

      What? It’s what Homer sounds like saying D’oh when he has a cold!

      Not buying it?

      May 6, 2009 at 5:34 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   anglophile bang

      Neau.

      May 6, 2009 at 5:40 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   Bunnee

      …or the French version, Neaux.

      May 6, 2009 at 5:52 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.10   amy d bang

      Actually, Bunnee, Neau and Neaux could both be French, although the added “x” makes Neaux more Cajun. :D

      May 6, 2009 at 6:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.11   park rose

      Noe (no, no, no, Timo, it’s not a repeat it’s No-el- waka, waka, waka).

      May 6, 2009 at 6:43 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.12   mamason bang

      now

      May 6, 2009 at 9:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.13   TheOldSchool bang

      now…..

      Oh, right…. You want me to paddle my skin canoe to tuna town, right now.

      Chief, he not in teepee?

      May 6, 2009 at 9:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.14   Holiday Djinn

      Karl Malden?

      May 7, 2009 at 6:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.15   Daisychain 1978

      Hell to the Gno…

      May 7, 2009 at 8:31 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Woman on the Verge bang

    The real threat is that he will continue to use chatspeak when he gets home. Gotta love it when the kids resort to actually talking that way. They say something naughty and follow up with, “JK LOL”.

    May 6, 2009 at 7:32 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   amy d bang

      WoV, I hate that trend. I have seen people use chatspeak in conversations on certain shows I won’t admit to watching. Something surprising happens and they show the person reacting by saying “O-M-G!”

      So annoying.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:50 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   N/A

      I flatly refuse to buy Degree deodorant now that they have those stupid “OMG moment” ads.

      May 6, 2009 at 10:31 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   leftfoot

      amy d-

      you must have watched Tough Love. How do I know that? Ummm… My dog told me. He watched it every Sunday. (He has no taste in TV)

      May 6, 2009 at 12:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   amy d bang

      leftfoot, I can neither confirm nor deny your hypothesis, but let me tell you, that’s not the only show they said that on.

      Oh wait :oops:

      May 6, 2009 at 12:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   katie

      @amy I will have you know I say O.M.G. sometimes! I will have you know this!!!

      May 6, 2009 at 8:49 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   Jane Que

      I must be old, the first time I heard someone say that I had to look it up.

      May 8, 2009 at 4:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   LDhummingbird

      I so did the whole “el-O-el”, “oh-em-gee” thing when I was in high school… TEN YEARS AGO. Wow, I’m both old- and annoyingly new-school.

      May 12, 2009 at 12:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Grimfool_Reluctant

    Other posters will discuss the kid’s text-lingo, grammar and spelling (im on the bus right know). Other posters will discuss “these kids today”, etc.

    The kid’s a jerk. So what? Sixteen-year-old males are supposed to be jerks (it’s hormonal tsunami season, and the effects on males last for up to 60 years). You can’t kill all 16-year-old boys, and you’ll probably get arrested just for doing one, so why even let it bother you?

    This poster prefers to discuss the poor busy working mother who has obviously not yet learned that being P/A is not the way to effectively communicate with a testosteronally-inundated humanoid. She probably didn’t jerk his chain a few years ago when it might have made a difference, so “know” she’s ignoring his phone calls . . . and, when he finally gives her textual evidence that she can use against him, who does she turn to? Not Judge Judy, not Dr. Phil, but PAN. Wow, mom, you really showed him, didn’t you? What are you going to do now, make him look at this page and read the comments?

    On the other hand, maybe the 16-year-old jerkoff is isuck, and he’s already reading this.

    Anyway, busy working mom, get a clue or get a grip or give up. Exercise parental guidance or stop making it public.

    May 6, 2009 at 7:35 am   rating: 43  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Holiday Djinn

      . . . . . … and the horse you rode in on too.

      May 6, 2009 at 7:41 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   park rose bang

      Well, I agree with you grim, to a degree, and I’m also going to give the kid a thumbs up because I think he is a pseudo txt spkr, and maybe the one who is thinking he is all cool because he is using txt-speak (or whatever it’s called!), but the ‘you’ at the end is the give away, and the fully formed sentences. His grammar is pretty good actually. And cut mum some slack. Who knows how many times she has received similar messages. And maybe she was at work when her son was calling and couldn’t take the calls.

      May 6, 2009 at 7:54 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   park rose bang

      I’m getting a bit ubiquitious on this thread, so I’ll just say this, then I’m outta here. There are other PANs where the 16 or 17 year olds get to say their piece(s) too.
      but charlie don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted

      Living with an adolescent, abridged
      That’s just two of them. Though, Mums should have better judgement than their teenaged sons.

      May 6, 2009 at 8:21 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   HapopyNat

      So it’s OK for the son to be a jerk because he is 16, but the mom has some fun with the note and submits it and she is out of line? I think somebody didn’t get enough hugs from their mama growing up.

      May 6, 2009 at 8:24 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   RP

      If people get to be jerks just because they’re 16 years old and male then I should get to punch people in the face when I have PMS. “hormonal tsunami” indeed.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:20 am   rating: 56  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   CS harmonikah

      Go ahead. I wont stop you.

      Just let me know your general location that during that period of the month and i will make sure to stay clear of you. Team avoiding punches to the face.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:36 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   Beanster bang

      I do punch people in the face when I have PMS.

      What? That’s not allowed?

      May 6, 2009 at 9:37 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   kmd

      News flash: “boys will be boys” is pretty much passe.

      Adolescence is not really an excuse for assholishness, so much as a kind of warning sign. “Danger, probable assholishness ahead, proceed with caution,” rather than “Awwwww, poor thing can’t help it, don’t be mean to him!”

      If you can’t appreciate the difference then it may be that you never quite made it out of that excuse-tsunami.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:41 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   anglophile bang

      Whoa, Grim.

      I bet you didn’t know passive aggressive notes are serious fucking business.

      Well, now you do.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:45 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.10   park rose

      Let’s open up the thread to breastfeeding in public and cranky servers.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:52 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.11   Carrieknowseverything

      My 16 year old loves me and hates me – sometimes all in the same 60 seconds.

      We’re getting over the 15 y/o that he was which was MUCH worse. MUCH.

      May 6, 2009 at 10:03 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.12   sugarlips bang

      RIGHT ON!

      May 6, 2009 at 10:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.13   Mishee™ bang

      My stepson will be 14 in 13 days.

      The “hormone tsunami” seems to have already started, and Carrie, yes I know what you are talking about… he hates me one moment, and then 60 seconds later acts like nothing happened.

      Because of this experience I am going through now, I regularly call my mother, and after she picks up the phone and says hello all I say is “I’m sorry! I’m so, so, so, so sorry!”… funny thing… she doesn’t even ask why… she knows….

      Who knows if I will make it out of this alive… but if I suddenly stop posting one day, then everyone will know what happened to me.

      Wish me luck.

      May 6, 2009 at 10:16 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.14   not me!

      Mishee,
      My daughter is 15 y, 5 mo.

      I’ve been dealing with the hormonal tsunamis for a few years now, but it’s not getting any easier, especially since she’s now adding “if i had my permit I could …” (every thirty seconds) to the cyclic angry stomping and screaming “well fine! I’ll just run away!” (once or twice a day). That and the other teenage stuff and yeah, I’m right there with you.

      Except this: when I call my mother, she laughs at me and says in an extremely bright, cheery, sing-song voice, “your turn!, muwahahahahahaaaaaaa!”

      Thanks Mom…

      May 6, 2009 at 1:01 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.15   mamason bang

      My oldest threatened to run away, once. Within 10 minutes I had his bags packed and at the door. I never threatened my kids and I never tolerated threats from them. We were able to have a normal conversation about what was bothering him as soon as he was done unpacking. I felt I had done my part.

      May 6, 2009 at 3:35 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.16   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Cool. I told mine when he threatened, that he could only take what he had paid for, except his underwear,and he could not stay with other family…Since he was 8 at the time, he opted for the famous room sulk. You don’t always have to raise a hand, the brain is mightier that the palm.

      May 6, 2009 at 3:41 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.17   Geek Goddess

      My son turned into the Teen From Hell when he was 15. I would say “Have a nice day” as he went out the door, and he would snarl, “Don’t tell me what to do!”. For months, conversation dwindled to “Hi” and “Bye” on my part and ” ” on his. But he grew out of it, and became the Young Adult From Heck. Hopefully time will take care of that one too.

      May 6, 2009 at 5:36 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.18   fluffy8u

      In the Mommy Dearest Parenting Guide, it says “nothing beats a nice beating. Feel free to uses your weapon of choice, wire hangers, extention cords, even lamps make wonderfull beating tools. Just don’t use your hands because you need them to look fresh for the movies!”

      When my sister threatened to run away, my mom said, “okay, then, go on. don’t forget to break open your piggy bank for bus faire.” Then she stood at the door watching my sister pack, leave, and walk down the street to the Brovo Burger where she called her dad for a ride using a pay phone.

      Ah teenagers…

      May 6, 2009 at 7:25 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.19   katie

      @Grim I will have you know that I agree with you!! I’ll have you know that I think 16 is old enough to begin to take responsibility for the things you say, but I’ll also have you know that I think the mom is herself being very passive aggressive and undoubtedly contributed to the situation at least in part!!! I’ll have you know this!!!!!!

      May 6, 2009 at 8:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.20   Jane Que

      I was no picnic as a teen, but it was my mom who would go through I love you/I hate you in 60 seconds. ???

      May 8, 2009 at 4:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   park rose bang

    I always read ‘ur’ phonetically, and I imagine the sound is a bit like a pirate swilling marbles (I usually type yr, though I know ur is more common). So, I’m hearing the text as a marble-mouthed pirate might say it:
    I see URRRHHH mad u think URRRHHH all cool, me hearties, because URRRHHH not returning my calls (You call that a hook? This is a hook). ill have you know ive got a plank and i know URRRHHH how to use it and im on it right URRRHHH now so there is no tURRRHHHning back. . . ill have you know that i have always loved you URRRHHH if you would not have been so stubURRRHHHn u could have prevented this.

    May 6, 2009 at 7:43 am   rating: 74  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   alexthebrit

      i’m pretty sure that just made my morning.

      May 6, 2009 at 8:23 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   clumber

      I second the motion!

      (home sick with ‘a’ flu. Unlikely the Famous Pig Flew, but who really cares.)

      May 6, 2009 at 9:31 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   marcopuffin bang

      A yo ho ho for the roaring seaman!

      May 6, 2009 at 11:43 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Meesh

      seamen

      May 6, 2009 at 12:41 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   Bunnee

      Huzzah, Rose! You speak Piratese with gusto! Flair! Elan! Panache! ;)

      May 6, 2009 at 12:57 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.6   park rose

      *Loves Bunnee and her ever-growing thesaurus*

      May 6, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.7   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Yes, well, if you don’t speak Panache with the proper inflection and accent they just look down on you and ignore you.

      May 6, 2009 at 4:09 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.8   amy d bang

      Every Bunnee loves some Bunnee, sometime.

      May 6, 2009 at 4:12 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.9   Bunnee

      Aw, you guys, go on…. :oops:

      May 6, 2009 at 4:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.10   Ti to the O bang

      Bunnee has burgled my heart.

      May 6, 2009 at 5:19 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.11   Beanster bang

      Timo, you are getting it wrong

      * stands off defensively realizing that her sole ownership of “burgle” is being once again challenged by bunne *

      * still wants to be Bunnee’s friend *

      May 6, 2009 at 5:29 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.12   Bunnee

      *digs toe in the dirt and twirls hair around finger* Geez, you guys–cut it out!

      Aw, Timo, you’re sweet!

      Bean, I didn’t even use the word b—le. See? I can’t even type it, you have made me feel so guilty! :cry:

      *makes mental note to try to never use the word b—le, lest Bean hunt me down*

      *still wants to be Bean’s friend*

      May 6, 2009 at 5:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.13   park rose

      Bunnee burgled my heart with her blatant frippery.

      *has rights to frippery, but ain’t gonna make a big deal out of it*
      *loves beans, too*

      May 6, 2009 at 6:48 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.14   Bunnee

      Rose, let’s give credit where credit is due. We wouldn’t want any vitriol roiling up inside you–you are the sole heiress to “frippery”, along with “frottage”, I believe. Beans claimed “burgle” waaay back, and I believe she said “zenith of angst” further up (hee!). What great words does that leave me with? Twaddle. Twaddle is now my new favorite word.

      May 6, 2009 at 10:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.15   park rose

      Twaddle is great. I responded to frottage (oo-er), but that was someone else who suggested it…

      ‘Roil’… one of my favourite words. (Falls in love a little more).

      Oh, and I say, use frippery with fripperous gay abandon. It’s anyone’s. Everyone’s invited to the party. I’m in love with Foofaraw! too (and Timo, but that goes without saying). Foofaraw is of course a mixture of an ex-Nirvana member and an ex-Charlie’s Angel.

      May 6, 2009 at 11:24 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.16   mamason bang

      Rose ♥ you brought teh corn!

      May 6, 2009 at 11:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.17   shel

      I too read the ur as yr or urrhhhhhh if you prefer… Life is just better when there is an old timey pirate around…

      May 7, 2009 at 2:22 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   nick

    Grim – you call him a 16 year old jerkoff… you evidently remember what it was like to be 16.

    May 6, 2009 at 7:51 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Grimfool_Reluctant

      … and 26, and 36, and 46, and, god willing, 56. What’s your point?

      May 6, 2009 at 8:18 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   ryanmalloy

      a 16-year-old jerkoff?
      Well, isn’t that the age when you do that all the time?

      May 6, 2009 at 9:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Sadi

      You mean they stop doing it every day at some point?

      May 6, 2009 at 2:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Mr. is in his 50′s and hasn’t stopped yet…It may be getting worse.

      May 6, 2009 at 3:52 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Gunderson105

    That kid needs his ass turned into a black-n-blue berry.

    May 6, 2009 at 8:36 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   TheOldSchool bang

      The kid knew that he could get more accomplished with a text message AND a speeding bus, than he could with a text message alone.

      May 6, 2009 at 8:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   TJ

    Um… am I the only one who thinks the kid is maybe being funny?

    Because that’s funny. Deliberately overdramatic, accusing his mother of being mad enough to screen his calls? The “I’ll have you know I love you” at the end is a dead give away.

    I think he’s joking. And I think it’s hilarious. And I think y’all are so quick to tear apart grammar, spelling and parenting style that you’ve missed that this kid is a damn riot.

    May 6, 2009 at 8:53 am   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   park rose

      I’ll have you know that I have been valiantly protected his grammar all throughout this thread, and slaying dragons for his mother. But I’m just knitpicking (shout out to T to the O).

      May 6, 2009 at 9:32 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      TJ, I have two teen sons. Trust me, this kid isn’t kidding. Teen boys are all about angst and drama. Drama and angst. And mothers are expected to listen to it all and make it better.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:41 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   park rose

      Damn back-edit fucked up my grammar, though.
      Oh well. Skulks off, shamefaced.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      It’s okay, rose. I thought maybe you were time traveling during your post.

      May 6, 2009 at 10:24 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   ClearlyDemented

      After re-reading the note, I don’t think it’s supposed to read “I’ll have you know that I love you.” I think the ‘I’ll have you know that’ is emphasizing that she ‘could have prevented this’ and the ‘i love you’ is his signature. I really like how the lack of punctuation/paragraphing lets us all interpret it differently. This kid is a true artist.

      May 6, 2009 at 1:07 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      People talk about the DramaQueen/Princess. little is said about the Drama KING…boys can pitch a bitch fit with the best of the cheeleader princesses. Some with more flair, because of the possibility that they might change sexual preferance. They have more to threaten with.

      May 6, 2009 at 1:47 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.7   oi!

      That is so true. I think he is kinda hinting his next threat would be changing sexual preference you know by first of all being all PA in the message and second by mentioning that craft store(0k second one is lie but but I am thinking her mom just lied to PAN goddess to save his ass from all gay comments.)

      May 6, 2009 at 2:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.8   mamason bang

      I’d think she’d rather save his ass from all the gay butt sex.

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      May 6, 2009 at 5:11 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.9   Mishee™ bang

      Error: Already Voted

      Dammit mama!

      May 6, 2009 at 5:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.10   oi!

      I love you mama

      May 6, 2009 at 5:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.11   krys

      I’m getting really tired of the juvenile homophobia mama!

      May 6, 2009 at 10:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.12   TheOldSchool bang

      krys,

      She’s as tired of juvenile homophobia as you are.

      We ALL are.

      I’m trying to arrange a one in one series of counseling sessions with her. (The message I’d like to drive home is unrelated, but I’d be willing to experiment with other topics, time permitting of course.)

      May 6, 2009 at 11:05 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.13   mamason bang

      I realize that I’m the only person here that ever makes comments regarding the gays. Please forgive me. I forget sometimes how sensitive the gays can be. So, are you gay, krys? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I was just curious because I’ve been known to strap one on and pound some serious mudhole.

      I’m glad I know now that your sensitivity only pertains to the gays and the massive amounts of butt sex that the gays have. So, mean spirited jokes concerning fatties, and drugging and sexing up underage school girls/boys and the racial humor that permeates this site are all good, everyone. krys just doesn’t like it if I say anything about the gays and butt sex. ok? We all clear on that? Good. Now, carry on.

      I’ll bet krys is gay.

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      May 6, 2009 at 11:38 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.14   TheOldSchool bang

      Rose: re: 15.3:

      I’m getting really tired of the juvenile use of profanity.

      What the fuck do you have against using decent and proper language?

      May 7, 2009 at 12:44 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.15   park rose

      I agree. Only fuckwits get off on the juvenile use of profanity and toilet humour. Who’s Rose?

      May 7, 2009 at 12:51 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.16   Brooser

      *raises hand*

      I’ll have you know that I’m gay and I really couldn’t care less about comments about gay people. I mean… it’s not as if gay people DON’T have buttsex. Why on earth would that offend?

      Just sayin’. =P

      May 7, 2009 at 2:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.17   park rose bang

      Hey, Brooser.

      You’re needed on the new thread :arrow:
      There’s some flogging of the log going on.

      And I kinda think krys might have been joking, but I’ve been wrong before.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   CS harmonikah

    “no turning back”
    “You could have prevented this”(twice)
    It’s very dramatic.
    What is so serious about Michael’s house?
    Are they running away to Mexico? Are they going to do crack? Is Michael a 36 year old pedophile? Sacrifices to Satan?

    At least he did not get on the bus because then “there would be no turning back”

    May 6, 2009 at 8:54 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   ryanmalloy

      Maybe it is Michael Jackson’s house?

      May 6, 2009 at 9:57 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Ti to the O bang

      He can’t turn thhe bus around and his Mom will be saying…
      If I could turn back tiiime ♫

      Lady’s and gentlemen Cher!

      May 6, 2009 at 10:40 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      If I could find my clothes…..
      If I could act my age..

      May 6, 2009 at 1:49 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   agatha christie

      TO, I’m reminded of the Will and Grace episode where Jack meets Cher and Jack thinks she’s a tranny impostor.

      May 6, 2009 at 6:59 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   CS harmonikah

    Does anyone else think this message would be so much better if the Michaels was the craft store.

    “I’ll do it Mom. you cant stop me. I will take up a hobby. I’m serious, dont think that i wont. You could have prevented this mom, I’m taking up cross-stitch and there is nothing you can do to stop me”

    May 6, 2009 at 8:59 am   rating: 43  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   DearJane

      All the cool 16 year old boys are taking up scrapbooking…

      May 6, 2009 at 9:06 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   T to the O

      Pretty soon he is hooked on crocheting and is a needle junkie as well. Yup, knitting…he’s doing the hard stuff. If only Mom had taken his call.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:15 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Canthz_B bang

      For want of a ringtone, his manhood was lost?

      I’d better keep my cell on in case my son calls!

      May 6, 2009 at 9:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   RP

      That would have made it hysterical.

      There really would be no turning back if he started spinning his own yarn.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:23 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   clumber

      are you saying that scrapbooking is a gateway craft?

      I have no idea why, but whenever someone mentions they are scrapbookers, I have the unbidden, yet barely repressible urge to beat the ever-lovin’ shit out of them. My problem, certainly.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:35 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Beanster bang

      He’s off to Anglophile’s house and he’s not coming back. Despite the fact that she is pure as the driven snow, she’s corrupted this one once and for all.

      (there’s no turning back)

      May 6, 2009 at 9:41 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   CS harmonikah

      If it helps I feel the same way. There are so many hobbies and crafts that i cant imagine someone over the age of 15 wanting to spend their time gluing photos and stickers together.

      “I have a lot of really nice photos…..if there was only a way that i could give them the subtlety and class of a Lisa Frank notebook..”

      May 6, 2009 at 9:41 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   Woman on the Verge bang

      Actually Mom works at JoAnn Etc. If she had just answered the customer service line, this could have all been avoided, but nooooo. Now the kid is buying his glue (sniffing explains some of that homophone confusion) at another craft store. So there!

      May 6, 2009 at 9:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.9   anglophile bang

      THIS THREAD IS NOT AT ALL FUNNY. YOU ALL OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.

      CRAFTOPHOBES!!!!

      May 6, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.10   Beanster bang

      * crochets apology afghan for ‘glo *

      May 6, 2009 at 10:19 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.11   Mishee™ bang

      Glo, don’t lie… you know its funny, and you know you are laughing as you wind your yarn to prepare for another fruitful day of knitting with your cats at your side.

      What would we do without you?

      *loves Glo*

      May 6, 2009 at 10:23 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.12   Woman on the Verge bang

      Hangs head in shame at having offended Glo. Okay, not really, but I thought about it.

      May 6, 2009 at 10:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.13   mamason bang

      It’s not a problem until he starts carrying a hot glue gun.

      May 6, 2009 at 1:08 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    Aww, hees soe cyoot!!

    May 6, 2009 at 9:03 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Rob T Firefly

    I’m just going to go on believing that “Michael’s” is in fact the craft store.

    “Dammit mom, I’m buying hot glue, ladybug buttons, and rickrack and you can’t stop me!! I love you.”

    May 6, 2009 at 9:15 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   T to the O

      Nosy Neighbor: “I heard your son has been hanging out in the notions aisles. You must be just at your wits end.”

      May 6, 2009 at 9:21 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   DearJane

      If ever there was a cry for help from the addiction of crafting, this note is it….

      May 6, 2009 at 10:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   mamason bang

      Well, I’d like to know where… you got the notion.

      May 6, 2009 at 1:11 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Ti to the O bang

      YAY! you picked it up Mama! teh smartz u haz it!

      May 6, 2009 at 4:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   MeToo

    The kid is a genius! By using a mother’s tool – “I’ll have you know that I love you” – he has entered a whole new realm of smart. And smart-assedness. (Hey, new word!)

    But yeah, if he’s being serious, I’d be concerned about his trip to Michael’s.

    (Heh heh, “mother’s tool”)

    May 6, 2009 at 9:20 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   mamason bang

      I remember my dad once told me to stop being a smartass and I asked if it would be better for him if I were a dumbass. I don’t remember much after that.

      May 6, 2009 at 1:19 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      Mama, I think your concussion came next, didn’t it?

      May 6, 2009 at 4:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   mamason bang

      I don’t remember.

      May 6, 2009 at 6:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   mamason bang

      I wear a helmet now.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   TheOldSchool bang

      No, no, no, mama.

      The man with the purple helmet wears you….

      out.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   mamason bang

      That man always spits at me.

      May 7, 2009 at 1:20 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.7   TheOldSchool bang

      That just his way of saying he likes you.

      (Think of it as a compliment in the form of a condiment.)

      It’s Two.
      Two….
      Two ments in one!

      May 7, 2009 at 2:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   ally

    go team mum for posting here – real passive aggressive payback

    extra points for getting a ‘friend’ to post it for you

    May 6, 2009 at 9:30 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   QuarterRoy00 bang

    That note has less periods than an old folks home…

    May 6, 2009 at 9:33 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   BrookeDiz bang

      fewer.

      May 6, 2009 at 1:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   TheOldSchool bang

      phew!

      May 6, 2009 at 9:45 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   mamason bang

      …errrrr

      May 7, 2009 at 1:38 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   amy d bang

    Teens are master manipulators. Here is my translation of what the teen means:

    I c ur mad! = Normally, I wouldn’t care that you were mad, but you are ignoring my needs so it must be addressed.

    u think ur all cool because ur ignoring my calls. = I think I’m cool when I ignore your calls, so that must also be how you feel when the situation is reversed.

    …but I’ll have you know that I’m going to michaels and im on the bus right now so there is no turning back u could have prevented this if u would not have been so stubborn… = I called to ask permission to go to Michael’s but you didn’t answer your phone. You probably would have said “no” anyway, so this gives me an excuse to go ahead and do it and blame it on you.

    I’ll have u know that I love you. = Laying the groundwork for getting out of trouble for what I am doing right now.

    May 6, 2009 at 9:42 am   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Mishee™ bang

      Spoken by a mother of a difficult teen.

      You are so wise!

      You should host a podcast on the subject ames.

      May 6, 2009 at 9:47 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   amy d bang

      Oh, is my negativity showing? Sorry about that.

      *tucks cynicism back into its cubbyhole*

      May 6, 2009 at 9:53 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   park rose

      No, your acerbic wit is glowing. Nice job. ♥

      May 6, 2009 at 9:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   Mishee™ bang

      Amy, don’t hide that negativity…

      I like it when you wear short skirts like that.

      May 6, 2009 at 10:25 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   oi!

      Wow! now I feel foolish for being in kid’s team.
      I hate you for reminding me my teenage years, Amy. ;)
      but my mom on the other hand never made it public.
      *back in kid’s team*

      May 6, 2009 at 1:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.6   mamason bang

      Shoot! I missed it. What did Amy tuck back into her cubbyhole? 8-O

      May 7, 2009 at 1:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Mishee™ bang

    I see that this boy may not be going to Michael’s the store for crafting supplies, but the way he writes makes me think he is an aspiring “Prince-esque” songwriter?

    May 6, 2009 at 9:45 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Neeners

    Reading this I felt like I was in a bad high school creative writing class. Or possibly the melodramatic teen thinks that maybe he’s an aspiring writer and/or theater major.
    I can see him acting the part out as I read. Micheal is the homosexual lover and the mother is trying to keep them apart. Or better yet Micheal is the writing coach and editor he desperately needs to make it big and have his first works published in the Podunck Texas Gazette (87 readers total). This thing could make a big splash, his writing will be discovered and soon be made into an after school special.

    May 6, 2009 at 9:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   anglophile bang

      Tonight, on a very special episode of Blossom….

      May 6, 2009 at 10:38 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   claw71 bang

    So it’s pretty clear to everyone that mom’s banging her son, right?

    May 6, 2009 at 10:10 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   park rose

      ill have you know that i love you. oedipus xxx

      May 6, 2009 at 10:22 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Neeners

    As punishment for lying and being annoying, he should have to ride the damn bus for awhile.

    May 6, 2009 at 10:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   KatieMB

      Or have his crafting stuffs taken away from him.

      May 10, 2009 at 8:19 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Laura

    Kids like this need to be falcon punched….repeatedly.

    May 6, 2009 at 10:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   DearJane

      you trained a falcon how to punch people? Wicked.
      So now you can be like “hey dude, I didn’t touch you, it was the falcon, man.”

      May 6, 2009 at 10:46 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   TheOldSchool bang

      I collect sculptures of eagles attacking small animals.

      Just so you know.

      May 6, 2009 at 12:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Bernd das Brot

    ill have u know that im on the shortbus right know

    May 6, 2009 at 10:47 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Amp

    No one should ever speak to their mother that way. That boy needs to be slapped.

    May 6, 2009 at 10:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Mishee™ bang

      Spoken like a childless person.

      May 6, 2009 at 11:21 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   oi!

      slapping 16 years old? Try doing that.
      And they say teenagers are assholes.
      Team kid who will have his mother know that he loves her! sweet

      May 6, 2009 at 11:56 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   CS harmonikah

      My mom slapped me when i was 16.
      I remember it because we were in the car and I was driving.
      I pointed out how dangerous and shortsighted it was to slap someone while they’re driving a car.

      I got slapped again.

      May 6, 2009 at 1:02 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   Meesh

      When I was 16, I was snorting coke and stealing cars. I can’t even remember all the horrible stuff I said to my mom. This kid doesn’t deserve a slap–he deserves to have his silly note posted on the Internet for all the world to mock.

      May 6, 2009 at 1:03 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.5   oi!

      harmonikah are you a girl or your mom is a big woman? I think It’s much harder to slap a guy than a girl.
      well I was not easy child either, I would not go into details but my mom admits slapping did not do any good.

      May 6, 2009 at 1:24 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.6   Bunnee

      The only good slapping ever did for me as a teenager was that I made sure I was OUT of arm’s reach when I mouthed off.

      May 6, 2009 at 2:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.7   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I chased my mouthy teen boy through the house with a small plastic fly swatter, finally cornering him, where I couldn’t reach, on the top bunk, he was taller , I was smarter, the embarrassment was more that enough to correct the mouthy for a while and he still remembers now at 28 with his own son.

      May 6, 2009 at 3:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.8   CS harmonikah

      @30.5
      I’m a dude. But really regardless of size or age, what was i supposed to do, punch my mother?

      I guess i could’ve ducked or blocked, but my eyes were on the road and hands at 10 & 2 on the steering wheel.
      Team safe drivers!

      May 6, 2009 at 3:22 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.9   Mark bang

      Team mother punchers!

      Mother punchers. Father stabbers. Father rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me!

      May 6, 2009 at 3:28 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.10   unholyghost2003 bang

      harmonikah that is it really. You are a dude … not even Pol Pot would punch his mom. A chick though? A chick in a situation where mom is spouting crazy and endangered BOTH our lives? I promise, mom is cruising for a beat down.

      May 6, 2009 at 3:36 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.11   Mishee™ bang

      Bunnee – Only time I ever called my mom a bitch I was 16, and already halfway across the kitchen towards the garage (and after that… freedom!) and I yelled it over my shoulder…

      I’m no fool.

      oh, and I have three older, taller, stronger than my mother big brothers – and they would never dream of laying a finger on her, lest she give them the “Look of Death” and they drop dead on the spot…

      Apparently my mama didn’t raise NO fools.

      Mark – don’t forget Uncle Fuckers!

      May 6, 2009 at 3:45 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.12   Ti to the O bang

      Havin a swell groovy time there on the bench playin with the pencils fillin out the forms.

      May 6, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.13   oi!

      Well, I was just following stereotype that males are more aggressive and have more difficulty in controlling rage. Apparently I am wrong.
      In my teen years sometime my mom would literally crawl under my skin. All I could do was grit my teeth so hard that let’s just say I have chipped teeth. by just doing that I had earned some slaps.

      May 6, 2009 at 4:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.14   mamason bang

      I’ve never been one to hit my children. It’s just wasn’t the kind of relationship I wanted to have with them. There was one time though, when my oldest *I’m noticing a trend here* decided that he’d tell me to bend over and he’d show me what I could do with his homework. I think he was about 14 or 15 at the time. I was swinging on him before I even realized it. In about a nano second I had to make a couple of adjustments. First thought, “no fist” adjustment made. Second thought, “Even open handed, I’m about to draw blood.” Adjustment made. It ended up as a 2 fingered slap on the mouth that still split his lip. He’s almost 28 now and if he starts pissing me off, I’ll raise those two fingers and say, “Don’t make me use these.” Good times. sigh

      May 6, 2009 at 4:10 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.15   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Hey, at least they stop trying to slap you at some point…The Mexican mama feels that she can slap you any time your mouth overloads your brain, like after your married and your own kids are grown…mine does…and watch out for the chancla.

      May 6, 2009 at 4:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.16   MeToo

      My 11-year-old son is now an inch taller than me.

      But, I’m a black belt, so…even stevens. Heh heh…

      May 6, 2009 at 4:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.17   Tastelessandless

      re: 30.11:

      “Don’t forget Uncle Fuckers”?!? OK, set an extra place at the table. Jeez, we always have to include your relatives….

      May 6, 2009 at 4:19 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.18   oi!

      Yeah mama, being an oldest child has its ups and downs. You get to reign on your younger siblings, more than less you are spoiled but on the other hand your are smartass(cuz you are spoiled?) and being newbie your parents don’t know how to handle you.

      May 6, 2009 at 4:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.19   Bunnee

      Mishee, your family sounds like a clone of mine. I, too, have 3 older brothers. My mother also gave us “The Look of Death”, except we called it the “Hitler Look”. She perfected the look during her tenure as a high school math teacher. She couldn’t slap her high school students, so she had to give them the ‘look’.

      May 6, 2009 at 4:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.20   Mishee™ bang

      Bunnee – I think my mother knocked me unconscious when I got smart over the phone one time…

      I’m not positive. But I did wake up 15 minutes later with no recollection of the previous 4 hours.

      re 30.17: the comment was better before the edit.

      May 6, 2009 at 4:40 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.21   Neeners

      I’ve heard worse. At least he added that he loved her to the teenage guilt trip. So sick so twisted.

      She must have taught him well. I can imagine how their conversations go… one trying to up the other on the guilt-o-meter until finally one of them has had enough and runs crying to their bedroom screaming I hate you or I wish I had never been born yada yada.

      May 6, 2009 at 4:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.22   Tastelessandless

      re: Mishee@30.20 – Yeah, I guess I shoulda stuck with my first instincts. (Damn you, second thoughts!)

      May 6, 2009 at 4:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.23   Geek Goddess

      At least the Mother punchers, Father stabbers, and Father rapers aren’t creating any litter by using their blackberries. They are just creating a nuisance.

      May 6, 2009 at 5:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.24   T to the O

      But how are you going to diagram the approach and the getaway with circles and arrows and a paragraph explaining each picture if you take them with your camera phone?

      May 6, 2009 at 7:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.25   techimpaired

      My grandmother used to smack us upside the head with her bedroom slippers. One minute I’d be mouthing off, the next I’d have a splitting headache and her slipper would be back on her foot looking for all the world as if she’d never taken it off. We called her the fastest slipper in the west. As a teenager, and the oldest, I used to mouth off frequently to my mother too. Until the day my little brother bought her a dangerous looking pair of slippers…..

      May 6, 2009 at 10:05 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.26   park rose

      We used to call my grandmother the fastest slapper in the west. It’s not really a nice thing to call your grandmother, though.

      May 6, 2009 at 11:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.27   techimpaired

      Just out of curiosity Rose, would you rather be slapped or smacked by a rubber-soled slipper? Mom and grandma never hit anyone with their hands so I have no idea which is worse. I do know the slippers were very effective. No sane person crossed either of them more than once every blue moon. Those were known as the “S/He lost their d@mn mind” incidents. BTW we knew it wasn’t a nice thing to call her, which is why no one ever uttered the name until long after grandma died and no one’s called mom that to her face, or back, or to anyone who might ever repeat that we’d said it……

      May 7, 2009 at 2:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.28   park rose

      I think slapper might have a different connotation in the colonies and faded empire than elsewhere ;)

      May 7, 2009 at 5:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.29   park rose

      And it was that tricky general your that applies to everyone (me), rather than applying to you. Sorry for the confusion, Tech.

      May 7, 2009 at 6:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.30   KatieMB

      *runs screaming from this thread as repressed childhood memories come flooding back*

      No really, it’s been entertaining.

      *tries to stop shaking*

      May 10, 2009 at 8:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   NoAdditives

    You know, the kid is probably just mad that his mom wouldn’t pick him up from school. She probably told him she was too busy at work and that he should walk home. If the walk is more than a mile I can sympathize. I was in the same situation in high school, sort of. (My mom didn’t work and totally could have picked me up.)

    As a former teenager I remember how much that sucks. I was a good kid and always just walked. Or I took the bus and still had to walk a mile home.

    His message isn’t even that bad, but if his mother is a good parent the kid will be grounded for it anyway.

    May 6, 2009 at 11:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I would go to pick my boys up from school, I set the bar with a half donut into the parking lot and Alice Cooper at full volume on the tape deck….For a brief and shining moment I was Cool.

      May 6, 2009 at 4:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   mamason bang

      Alice Cooper? :-?

      Was this in 1978? ;-)

      Far out, man. 8-)

      May 6, 2009 at 4:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   Geek Goddess

      Ex-Mr Goddess was an Alice Cooper fan, back in the day. He was appalled when the Teen From Hell became a Marilyn Manson fan. I pointed out the incongruity of this stance, but he just got sulky.

      May 6, 2009 at 5:55 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   mamason bang

      ill have u no he loved u!

      May 6, 2009 at 6:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.5   agatha christie

      I don’t understand why more and more kids get driven to school by mom. When I was riding the hormone tsunami at the age of 13, I would have been mortified if my mom had driven me to school, even if I’d missed the bus.

      May 6, 2009 at 7:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.6   barbaraxmanatee

      Everyone in my high school was driven to school. We had a school bus but no one used it. Personally, I carpooled with friends, and then drove myself when I turned 16. Ah, the freedom of a driver’s license!

      May 6, 2009 at 7:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   unholyghost2003 bang

    Just what is Mom’s job? I have to assume that she works in the oil industry as that is the only reason I can imagine for her wanting to prevent people from using public transportation.

    BURN MORE FOSSIL FUELS!!!

    May 6, 2009 at 11:12 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   claw71 bang

      I’m thinking mom’s a stripper at one of those really nasty clubs that you see all the truckers going to. You know the one: where the cheezy 80s black lighting makes the c-section scars glow with an eerie aura and the dancers get their breasts enhanced one tit at a time.

      May 6, 2009 at 1:02 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   DearJane

      that always makes pole dancing hard as you tend to list to the side of the bigger breast..

      May 6, 2009 at 2:45 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   T to the O

      Sometimes listing strippers just have one leg shorter than the other is all. Jus sayin.

      May 6, 2009 at 7:29 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.4   mamason bang

      Sometimes listing strippers are pirates with peglegs that just took one aft.

      Ur gonna be need’n to swab the poop deck, matey.

      May 7, 2009 at 12:09 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.5   park rose

      Ur a riot, mama. :D
      How many times can I plus you?

      May 7, 2009 at 12:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.6   park rose

      A lisping stripper is a myth.

      May 7, 2009 at 12:46 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.7   TheOldSchool bang

      That’sss what sssshe sssaid when sssshe ssssaid I sssshould leave. No encoresssss, assssshole!

      May 7, 2009 at 12:59 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.8   snee

      no encorth, ath-hole!

      May 9, 2009 at 4:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Rach

    to UnholyGhost–the buses here in Austin are an unholy terror. Our “public transportation” has a few more steps to mature before I’d stick a kid on one. The new Metrorail is due is 2016 though…

    May 6, 2009 at 11:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      Rach, thank you but I guessed that the buses are not safe. I was just making a joke … you know because it is Texas (Texas = Oil in many minds) and the idea that people in the oil industry are so against public transport that their family members can use “taking public transport” as a threat is … you know … funny.

      May 6, 2009 at 11:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   Mishee™ bang

      Did you order this “Metrorail” from someone named Lyle Lanely?

      If so, if I were you, I wouldn’t be riding on that one anytime soon either.

      May 6, 2009 at 12:00 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   Mark bang

      But it worked so well in places like Ogdenville, North Haverbrook, and Brockway!

      May 6, 2009 at 12:04 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.4   claw71 bang

      This kid seems to be a real loser. If I were mom I think I’d get him a one way ticket to whichever seminary the Vatican is stashing its pedophiles, find me a nice guy and see if I could squeeze out a better one.

      May 6, 2009 at 12:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   TheOldSchool bang

    I’m often told, by people in all walks of life, that I have “sweet-smelling balls.”

    Word gets around.

    Soon, friends are asking me for my secret.

    “Johnson’s baby powder your scrotum,” I say.

    They come back saying it didn’t work.

    “Well, that’s because you thought you could atone for years of neglect in one powder dump. It doesn’t work that way. A gentle coat first thing in the morning and the last at night. Then, gradually, your nutsack will draw rather than repel.

    (Moms like it, too.)

    May 6, 2009 at 12:38 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   Mishee™ bang

      But with the amount you sweat (so I’ve heard) wouldn’t that just make paste?

      May 6, 2009 at 12:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   sugarlips bang

      It is a well-known, scientific, pheremone fact that women LOVE the spell of baby powder…
      HOT!

      May 6, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.3   sugarlips bang

      It is a well-known, scientific, pheremone fact that women LOVE the smell of baby powder…
      HOT!

      May 6, 2009 at 2:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.4   unholyghost2003 bang

      No. While many chicken/egg theories have been offered there are many women who do NOT like the smell of baby powder. Could it be that they don’t like the smell of baby powder because they don’t like babies? Or do they not like babies because they hate the smell of baby powder? No one knows for sure … all I can say is that a woman with a 100% interest in heterosexual sex and a 0% interest in producing offspring is the kind of woman you really should be trying to attract to your nuts.

      May 6, 2009 at 2:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.5   MAMARILLA2 bang

      The smell of baby powder belongs on babies, the crossed odor references make for a very confused evening. But still preferable to *gagg* Axe and BO….What in Heavens name is wrong with soap and water a few times a day, We do it all the time in Nevada.

      May 6, 2009 at 2:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.6   mamason bang

      This all smells like balderdash! Poppycock!

      May 6, 2009 at 5:56 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.7   Bunnee

      Twaddle!

      May 6, 2009 at 5:59 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.8   Geek Goddess

      Bunkum!

      May 6, 2009 at 6:51 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.9   anglophile bang

      Claptrap!

      May 6, 2009 at 7:19 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.10   T to the O

      Foofaraw!

      May 6, 2009 at 7:31 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.11   mamason bang

      Foofaraw? :-?

      Oh, c’mon now! You just made that up! :lol:

      May 6, 2009 at 7:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.12   T to the O

      –noun
      1. a great fuss or disturbance about something very insignificant.
      2. an excessive amount of decoration or ornamentation, as on a piece of clothing, a building, etc.
      Origin:
      1930–35; orig. uncert.
      Dictionary.com Unabridged
      Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009.
      Cite This Source
      |
      Link To Foofaraw

      May 6, 2009 at 7:42 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.13   mamason bang

      :lol:

      It just seemed a bit cockamamie.

      May 6, 2009 at 7:52 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.14   Geek Goddesss

      It’s all codswallop!

      May 7, 2009 at 1:17 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.15   Bunnee

      *whips out pen and paper to add “codswallop” to list…Thanks, GG!

      May 7, 2009 at 9:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   claw71 bang

    Couldn’t help but think of Van Halen on this one:

    Don’t wanna wait til tomorrow,
    Mike and I want to play
    Too far to walk, it’s a problem
    I’ll take the bus, alright? OK?
    Ignore my call, u think ur cool, eh?
    But I’ve got a way to get even
    I’ll text my plans, don’t even care what you say, hey
    it’s too late to turn, turn the bus around

    Right KNOW…hey
    see ya tomorrow
    Right KNOW
    Michael is everything
    Right KNOW

    May 6, 2009 at 12:55 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Tastelessandless

      Except VH replaced Michael with Wolfgang.

      May 6, 2009 at 4:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   aaa

    *sigh* And here I was going to make some smartass comment about sixteen-year-old boys needing to pick up yarn and fake flowers. You just have to suck all the fun out of everything, don’ t you, Kerry? :/

    May 6, 2009 at 1:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   aaa

      And I’m still going to keep this smartass post, even though other people have basically said the same thing. :c

      May 6, 2009 at 1:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   mrs. pommelhorst

    …deep down inside him, he’s no good…

    (I’m no good!)

    May 6, 2009 at 3:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   MAMARILLA2 bang

    …Its just his bringing upke…

    May 6, 2009 at 4:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Girl Friday

    This kid is going to grow up to be the VP of the Department of Redundancy Department with all that “u could have prevented this if u would not have been so stubborn u could have prevented this!”

    May 6, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   barbaraxmanatee

    I just wanted to post to assure all y’all that not every teen has bad grammar. I’m technically still a teen and I’d like you to know that I paid attention in school. Grammar ftw! PS: Even though I can understand not-Michael, I’m on team mom.

    May 6, 2009 at 4:33 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   anglophile bang

      Dear barbaraxmanatee,

      Thank you for your lucid, properly-spelled and -punctuated note. It is refreshing and reassuring to know that some teens are still capable of typing complete words in complete sentences.

      Now, dear, if you would take the advice of one who could be your crazy-cat-lady knitting aunt who always dresses just a tiny bit strangely, get off the Internet in general and this site specifically. You’re still much too young, and your mother wouldn’t approve.

      :)

      May 6, 2009 at 4:53 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.2   Mishee™ bang

      At least you remembered the apostrophe in “y’all”

      May 6, 2009 at 5:11 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.3   claw71 bang

      I’m conditionally on team barbaraxmanatee.

      What I need to know, dear, is how old you are and what state you live in so I can cross reference those pesky age of consent laws.

      If, however, those laws don’t work in our favor would you be able to, of your own free will, arrange to meet me in a state with a lower age of consent?

      Other than that, just send me your picture and your favorite wine cooler flavor.

      May 6, 2009 at 5:12 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.4   Mark bang

      Mishee:

      Y’all is a perfectly cromulent word.

      May 6, 2009 at 5:19 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.5   Ti to the O bang

      Ah spring and the scent of Chloroform is in the air.

      May 6, 2009 at 5:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.6   barbaraxmanatee

      I’m so honored that all of my favorite “commenters” have replied to my comment! Oh, glorious day! :]

      @’glo: I’ve been reading this site for way too long; I can’t break away!

      May 6, 2009 at 6:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.7   unholyghost2003 bang

      ALL of your favorite “commenters” already replied? poop.

      May 6, 2009 at 6:05 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.8   Bison

      “Would you sniff this rag and tell me if you think it smells like ether?”

      May 6, 2009 at 6:14 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.9   barbaraxmanatee

      @uhg: Thank you for joining the party! :]

      May 6, 2009 at 6:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.10   Tastelessandless

      Hush, UHG2003! No foul language in front of the child.

      Oh, and a noble spirit embiggens the smallest man. There, it had to be said.

      Yes, I know: No, it didn’t.

      May 6, 2009 at 6:27 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.11   Mishee™ bang

      Ummm, tasteless, don’t you think any quote of Hans Sprungfeld’s should be up at the top of this thread in the pirate discussion??

      I’m jus’ sayin’…

      May 6, 2009 at 6:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.12   Tastelessandless

      But, but, but…. the cromulence.

      It was Pavlovian. Or Marvin Monrovian. But not Somalian.

      May 6, 2009 at 6:50 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.13   mamason bang

      double poop. :-(

      May 6, 2009 at 6:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.14   barbaraxmanatee

      @mama: This thread just keeps getting more amazing! At least, I think so.

      May 6, 2009 at 7:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.15   T to the O

      Not a reptilian Orwellian? Romulan?

      Is this a musical?

      Pirates of Cromulence

      May 6, 2009 at 7:39 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.16   mamason bang

      *wonders if barbaraxmanatee will make sweet tea for claw’s visit*

      May 6, 2009 at 7:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.17   mamason bang

      *wonders how many times claw has met Chris Hansen*

      May 6, 2009 at 7:49 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.18   barbaraxmanatee

      I would think claw has Chris Hansen on speed-dial. Yes, I would love to make sweet tea and other fancy food-stuffs, but the dorms don’t have kitchens. :’(

      Anyways, I might call security beforehand. :P

      May 6, 2009 at 9:45 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.19   unholyghost2003 bang

      Congrats on “Word!” barbaraxmanatee!

      May 7, 2009 at 12:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.20   barbaraxmanatee

      thanks! that’s so awesome! :D

      May 7, 2009 at 12:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.21   Frankie bang

      Barbara Manatee you are the one for me!

      I love VT :)

      May 7, 2009 at 1:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   MW

    Perhaps the mom should invest in a better education for her retarded spawn. Thanks for populating the Earth with idiots, lady.

    May 6, 2009 at 4:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Neeners

    Everyone keeps saying what losers the mom and the son are but I think we were all just as dorky and ridiculous at that age. Why else would your parents have beaten the shit out of some of you?? Personally, I think the kid played it to the hilt and should get an Oscar. Only one though, then the beatings continue.

    May 6, 2009 at 5:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Jenny

    Haha, I didn’t read the part before the note. So I was wondering why he thought it was so threatening to go to the craft store.

    YOU BETTER NOT PISS ME OFF, OR I’M GOING TO GO BUY SOME MODGE PODGE AND GO DECOUPAGE SOMETHING!

    May 6, 2009 at 9:58 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   Geek Goddesss

      Sadly, in most jurisdictions, the sale of Mod Podge™ to minors is completely legal. And look where our society is going as a result.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:11 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.2   shel

      If only he was really going to Michaels… perhaps he could have knit us a new unitard….

      May 7, 2009 at 2:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   Jen

    I like all the mom beating children stuff… as a truly awful teen I would threaten my parents with calling child protective services on them if they even threatened… it worked.

    May 6, 2009 at 11:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   mamason bang

      I would have beaten you while you were on the phone with cps all the while wishing you good luck with your new mommy and daddy.

      May 7, 2009 at 1:45 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.2   TheOldSchool bang

      Mama, you would do no such thing. Not with the wrist and ankle restraints that I use.

      Jen, just how rebellious a hot,young, sex-crazed, teen vixen/slut were you, anyway?

      May 7, 2009 at 2:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.3   mamason bang

      TOS, when I asked you to show some restraint that’s not exactly what I had in mind.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:57 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.4   Canthz_B bang

      My son tried that once in my first marriage, Jen…I’m still paying off his hospital bills 16 years later.
      You’d think that at 32 he’d help, but he still holds a grudge of some sort.
      I guess he thinks it’s our fault he got the shit beat out of him…go figure.

      May 7, 2009 at 3:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.5   Girl Friday

      As the parent of a truly awful step-teen that tried that stupid shit – I can tell you that CPS laughed at her when they saw there was nothing wrong with our home except an angsty teen with authority issues.

      Any parents who give in to that threat are pussies and doesn’t deserve to keep their kids.

      I said it, Jen, your parents are pussies and you would have been better off in state custody.

      May 7, 2009 at 8:41 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.6   MeToo

      “Any parents who give in to that threat are pussies and doesn’t deserve to keep their kids.”

      If I played for that team, I’d ask you to marry me! (Oh, and if I wasn’t already married!)

      *clickvoteclickvoteclickvote!*

      May 7, 2009 at 10:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.7   MeToo

      I don’t beat – I use joint locks and pressure points.

      No bruising!

      May 7, 2009 at 10:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.8   Girl Friday

      awww – thanks, MeToo! I’ve only been offered sex online and never a marriage proposal.

      May 7, 2009 at 11:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   Girl Friday

    Stupid Kids these days!

    May 7, 2009 at 8:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Heather

    This is the cutest ever.

    May 8, 2009 at 2:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Dory

    I love that the comments here are always almost better than (and sometimes surpass) the post itself. You all crack me up! (I’ll have you know I was going to put ‘y’all’ but was afraid it would sound too hokey!)

    May 10, 2009 at 1:11 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Jasperdragon

    Ok….all I can say about the note (because I refuse to read over 200 comments) is that there seems to be some confusion as to who is the parent and who is the child. If it was my kid, his rear end would have been retrieved and soaked in hot water for that little manuever. Hope you gave him hell for the stunt.

    May 10, 2009 at 2:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Isa

    That sounds a lot like the text or whatever it was that the kid from the series opener of Caprica sent to her mom right before the subway blew up.

    Jun 12, 2009 at 5:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

Comments are Closed