A “sincere” apology

May 7th, 2009 · 371 comments

Writes our anonymous submitter in San Francisco: “I spotted this on the sidewalk on my way to work. (It wasn’t obviously attached to anything, just laying there.)  I realize parking in SF is a real nightmare, with driveways every .03 inches, but come on!

Sincerely, your hardworking neighbor

related: How Berkeley

FILED UNDER: car · parking · San Francisco · sarcasm


371 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Melissa

    And they say manners are dead. This does my little heart good.

    May 7, 2009 at 12:18 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Tasteless

      Oh, ye of little heart good….

      May 7, 2009 at 4:20 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Ti to the O bang

      That’ll do good little heart…that’ll do.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:22 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   KatieMB

      “….This is a tale about an unprejudiced heart, and how it changed our valley forever.”

      May 7, 2009 at 4:37 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Anniee451

      That’ll do…that’ll do. HAHA! Thanks, Ti to the O. LOL

      May 9, 2009 at 6:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Cholmondeley

      The interwebs are tangled: foundmagazine.com/find/11822

      May 12, 2009 at 3:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Daisychain 1978

    Ah bless, the diligence for “hard working neighbour” attempting to correct their spelling mistake is to be admired. Very hardworking, I understand. Too bad for the fail factor, they still got it wrong.

    What I want to know is did “hard working neighbour” actually measure the 2 inches? Just where would you start measuring from, I wouldn’t have a clue.

    May 7, 2009 at 12:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Tastelessandless

      As I recall, the accepted standard is to always measure along the top side from base to tip — never the underside, because…. oh, wait. Perhaps I misunderstood.

      May 7, 2009 at 12:33 pm   rating: 62  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Smugsnipe

      What are you on about with “neighbour”? Hard Working Neighbor spelt it correctly.

      May 7, 2009 at 1:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   CDjr

      He may have gotten his signature right, but his attempt at inconvenience was still futile.

      May 7, 2009 at 1:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Scranton

      Actually, both spellings are correct depending on where you live. Although clearly “neighbour” with a “u” is better because it is Canadian.

      May 7, 2009 at 1:37 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Fungi

      actually its British English. The Canadians stole it, and the Americans bastardiSed it.

      May 7, 2009 at 1:40 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   park rose

      Fools! Don’t worry, 2 & 2.3 are right, and the rest of you are absolved
      (I think that one is just bad handwriting).

      And I’m from the colonies before you decide to get all linguistically ferocious with me.

      *returns Grim’s high horse*

      May 7, 2009 at 1:46 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Daisychain 1978

      Ah, I see that even whilst quoting, my purist approach to the English language gets the better of me and is equally misunderstood on this blog as any other.

      It was the failed correction at “inconvenience” that I had the beef with. CDjr picked up on this too I see, so in fact it may be fail all around; except for CDjr and park rose of course.

      May 7, 2009 at 5:26 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   Sue Do Nim

      Whilst? Knowest thou in which century thou liveth?

      May 7, 2009 at 5:36 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Park Rose, I’ll have you know my horse isn’t high. It’s eyes are naturally crossed, it always laughs like that, and it always eats four boxes of chili-cheese-nacho Oreos while on the bus to the craft store.

      May 7, 2009 at 7:05 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   not me!

      I can’t believe nobody has mentioned “Sincerly”….

      May 7, 2009 at 7:12 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   Tastelessandless

      Yeah, not even once Sincerly this morning.

      May 7, 2009 at 7:19 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.12   park rose

      Love ‘whilst’ and use it with gay abandon (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and have added it to Bunnee’s ever- expanding thesaurus.

      I thought of mentioning ‘sincerly’, but where’s the joke? Maybe the goddess beat you to the punch.

      Grim, because I’m eruditely witty, roflmfao…

      Daisy we’re a touch testy in the colonies and former empire and rally to implied slights at the drop of an ‘u’. Which is also what happens, maybe, if you touch testes.

      May 7, 2009 at 7:21 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.13   TheOldSchool bang

      That’s because the letter was written by “Sir Arly.”

      May 7, 2009 at 7:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.14   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Sin clearly!

      PR, I’ll have you know that the EW are the only people I write to and for.

      May 7, 2009 at 8:19 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.15   Canthz_B bang

      Fungi, Americans didn’t bastardiZe, anything.
      We just decided that we didn’t want to be like the British anymore.
      Can you blame us? :-)

      May 7, 2009 at 8:21 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.16   Daisychain 1978

      PR -Whilst I do enjoy the odd testicular fondle, I prefer to keep my hands out of fellow bloggers underpants until I have at least established a name for myself.

      Canthz B – In addition it is not the bastardisation of the English language with respect to dropping the odd letter u that I have issues with. It is the introduction of the smiley face emoticons; if only due to the fact that I haven’t a clue how to add them on myself.

      How innovative you Americans are!

      :-$

      May 8, 2009 at 4:17 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.17   ryanmalloy

      “We just decided that we didn’t want to be like the British anymore.
      Can you blame us?”

      Ehm. Yes.

      May 8, 2009 at 4:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.18   ryanmalloy

      Dropping the odd letter u.
      What’s your motto?
      ” The United States. We don’t need u.” ?

      May 8, 2009 at 5:01 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.19   Daisychain 1978

      What a state the USA would be in without it’s “u”? That clearly is an argument in favour of conserving the otherwise seemingly superfluous “u”.

      May 8, 2009 at 5:11 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.20   tinkerbell2

      Daisychain, you’re making the rest of us Brits look bad, you pompous ass. And by the way, ‘misunderstood on this blog as any other’?? Not the best indication of your ‘purist approach to the English language’.

      May 8, 2009 at 7:43 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.21   unholyghost2003 bang

      Without the “U” we wouldn’t be United … and that would be O.K. by me! DEATH TO “U”!!!!!

      May 8, 2009 at 7:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.22   park rose bang

      Daisy’s just all right by me. Just like Jesus. Not that I’m a Brit. But not that I’m American either. ♥ to Daisychain ♥ (she might be Canadian, did she say where she was from? probably), and ♥ to tinkerbell ♥ too, or at least, fairy dust.

      May 8, 2009 at 7:54 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.23   park rose bang

      Without the ‘U’ there wouldn’t be a Unitard.
      The Nitard is what knights wear when challenging cowards.

      May 8, 2009 at 7:56 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.24   anglophile bang

      Here you go, Daisy.

      (In addition to being innovative, we Americans [at least we Midwesterners] are also helpful and friendly.) :D

      May 8, 2009 at 8:35 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.25   Pedant

      Actually, it was the British who changed their spelling to include a ‘u’, after some ill-conceived wish to be more like the French. English gravestones of the C17 say ‘honor’.

      So Americans are the true torchbearers of the English language!

      May 8, 2009 at 10:29 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.26   anglophile bang

      Interesting point, Pedant!

      The problem with people claiming that British English is the “pure” version is that they forget that both dialects continued to grow and change after America was colonized. Neither dialect is the exact language they both sprang from.

      May 8, 2009 at 10:46 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.27   Daisychain 1978

      Without the U educated American’s wouldn’t get to go to Uni. Only Ni. Probably a school where the educated go to learn to fight cowards is what they are aiming for on the other side of the big pond.

      Anglophile, I definitely do not wish to dip my tootsies into the spring waters of evolutionary divergence with respect of the English Language with any Midwesteners. Now that would be like writing my own suicide note.

      May 8, 2009 at 11:00 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.28   park rose bang

      eggzackly.

      May 8, 2009 at 11:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.29   park rose bang

      this post was directed at glo’s comment. As I am on fricking-fracking safari, due to fricking-fracking IE8 I cannot backedit.

      May 8, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.30   unholyghost2003 bang

      Oh Daisy Educated Americans RARELY go to “Uni” here we go to the “U” free … College. ;)

      May 8, 2009 at 11:21 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.31   Daisychain 1978

      So near and yet so defeatingly far….

      Glo! Thank you for the link :-)

      May 8, 2009 at 11:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.32   Tastelessandless

      Indeed, Anglophile, thank you for providing the link to emoticon implementation.

      If you or some other helpful soul would be so kind, please also let me know how to insert the musical note icons. ;)

      May 8, 2009 at 2:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.33   Ti to the O bang

      & # 9835 ;
      but typed all together or you can use 9834

      ♫ ♪

      May 8, 2009 at 2:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.34   Tastelessandless

      Eureka! Merci beaucoups!

      Now I just have to figure out how to make those notes look all p-a.

      May 8, 2009 at 2:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.35   Tastelessandless

      Ah, but what combination of characters must I select in order to wear my heart on my PAN comment?

      May 8, 2009 at 7:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.36   anglophile bang

      Knock yourself out, Tasteless.

      ;)

      May 8, 2009 at 7:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.37   Canthz_B bang

      Umm, we don’t go to “Uni”. Just like we take the elevator, not the lift.
      Whether you like it or not, language evolves. That’s why you don’t post here in Olde English (the language, not the malt liquor ;-) )

      We’ve had this discussion here before.
      I thought we agreed that we are one people separated by a common language. :-P

      May 8, 2009 at 8:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.38   Tastelessandless

      Greatly appreciated, “Glo” (if I may be so presumptuous as to address you thusly).

      Still, I suspect that I’m missing some key piece of information. It seems unlikely that you all have to consult a reference sheet and manually type all these character combinations every time you just want to stick an icon into your repartee.

      May 8, 2009 at 11:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.39   Grimfool_Reluctant

      “What a state the USA would be in without it’s “u”? ” Daisy asks. Well, certainly not Kentucky, Louisiana or Missouri and obviously not Utah, South Dakota and South Carolina, nor Colourado or Califournia. Washingtoun and Oregoun are also out, as are Flourida, Rhoude Island, Minnesotau, Oklahouma, Neau Mexico, Neau Yourk, Arizouna and Tennesseau. Vermount would be gone, as would Idaheau and Mountana, and we would have to bid adeius to Muissuissuippui, Hauwaiiu, Alauska, and Wuisconsin. Without our “U”, I guess weu would hauve to invaude Englaund and beat the blooudy heull out ouf them. Agaiun.

      May 9, 2009 at 12:01 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.40   mamason bang

      Re: 2.38… Yes, everyone has to manually type in the different character combinations everytime we just want to stick an icon into our repartees. You’ll memorize them pretty quickly.

      *we just want to stick an icon into our repartees*

      May 9, 2009 at 12:29 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.41   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Now that’s a fine-looking repartee, Mamason. Unfortunately I’ve forgotten my combination. Can I do it manually?

      May 9, 2009 at 1:29 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.42   mamason bang

      hehe … I certainly hope so. ;-)

      8-O Uh-oh! It’s Mrs. Grimfool_Reluctant and she’s got slippers!

      Do you think she’ll mind that you gave me a thumbs up? :-?

      May 9, 2009 at 1:42 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.43   Tastelessandless

      Re: 2.40… Ye gods and little fishes! :shock:

      Well, er, um, uh… OK then. :mrgreen:

      [wanders off, whistling in the dark ♫, while making a mental note :idea: to return after the weekend with a bigger mental notepad ✍]

      May 9, 2009 at 2:11 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.44   park rose

      Without the U, to flog the old dead gay horse just a little bit longer, you would be nited, which means you would qualify to wear the nitard, and to wear it proudly.

      May 9, 2009 at 5:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.45   Grimfool_Reluctant

      I’ll have you know my horse is NOT gay! His eyes naturally look at men’s flys, he always laughs like that, and he always listens to Wham! while on the bus going to the craft store.

      Oh wait. Maybe he IS gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. He does like it when I ride bareback . . . especially when I’m “en commandeau.”

      May 9, 2009 at 5:40 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.46   park rose

      The tsetse vectored trypanosomiases affect various vertebrate species including humans, antelopes, bovine cattle, camels, horses, sheep, goats, and pigs. It’s no wonder your cross-eyed maniacal equine is always looking at men’s flys. (Okay, okay, perilously close to beyond contrivance, but what else is there to do tonight?)

      I thought you were going for more beer?

      May 9, 2009 at 6:47 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.47   anglophile bang

      I love my dead gay horse. ♞

      Tastless, I find the Tabs in my browser to be extremely helpful. 8)

      May 9, 2009 at 7:00 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.48   mamason bang

      Message 2.44 brought to you proudly by the Knights Who Say Ni!

      May 9, 2009 at 1:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.49   Canthz_B bang

      “What a state the USA would be in without it’s “u”? That clearly is an argument in favour of conserving the otherwise seemingly superfluous “u”.”

      I really don’t think that dropping the “U” from words where it is actually superfluous is the same as banning the letter “U”.
      We like our initial just as much as the UK doues! :lol:

      May 9, 2009 at 2:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.50   Canthz_B bang

      @2.18: ryanmalloy, That’s it exactly.

      The in terms of the ability to project geopolitical power, the US and USSR won WWII, while the UK in reality lost WWII. The UK and France lost entire, or nearly entire, empires.

      So no, we don’t want to be like you, a declining world power.
      Although, I must say you’re taking the decline and fall of the British Empire much better than the Romans took their comeuppance. ;-)

      May 9, 2009 at 3:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.51   Canthz_B bang

      Nor do we need you.
      But it’s always nice to have you along. ♥

      Set fire to the extraneous “The” in my previous post…I changed the way I wanted to say something, but not quite enough! :oops:

      May 9, 2009 at 3:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.52   Tastelessandless

      re: 2.47 — Thanks, Glo! I did consider that option, but suspected that all you witty and erudite “regglers” might be utilizing some even easier method that had thus far escaped my attention. Had to ask so I wouldn’t find out later that I’d been tediously rubbing sticks together when I could have just flicked a lighter. :roll:

      ["rubbing sticks together"?!?! Heh.]

      May 9, 2009 at 4:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.53   park rose

      @2.48
      knee ;)

      May 9, 2009 at 7:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.54   park rose

      @2.45 (grim)
      Your horse is just a fan of gnat king cole.

      (I now, I now, it’s well and truly time for a knew knote…I didn’t stay up with a all knight thinking of that, either, and it shows. In fact, I’m knot here. It’s why I have slipped in under the cover of my faceless avatar).

      May 9, 2009 at 11:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Mishee™ bang

    Why waste the time and energy to call and have them fined?

    Just take a nine iron to the headlights.

    That’s my policy.

    May 7, 2009 at 12:25 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Tastelessandless

      Did you get that policy from the talking lizard?

      May 7, 2009 at 12:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   anglophile bang

      When you think about it, she got off really light with the fine. Bodywork is expensive, and I bet her deductible is higher than $85.

      May 7, 2009 at 12:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Tasteless

      Um, some of those in the back row asked me to tell you that they would be very interested in knowing more about how she got off.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   KatieMB

      I’ll bet you could find a video of it on youtube.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Grimfool_Reluctant

      @3.3 — With a nine iron. I admire her skill with the short irons!

      May 7, 2009 at 7:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Geek Goddesss

      She got off with a nine iron?

      *boggles at the thought*

      May 8, 2009 at 12:46 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Daisychain 1978

      Screw the PAN San Fran way. This is how we take care of business where I come from:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DG-u425lp8o

      May 8, 2009 at 4:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   jinx

    The shorter version of this note is: “I broke the law and that makes you an asshole”

    May 7, 2009 at 12:27 pm   rating: 66  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Tastelessandless

      I love that song by the Bobby Fuller Four!

      May 7, 2009 at 12:39 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   anglophile bang

    To my hard working neighbor,

    I would like to formally apologize for not moving my driveway over two inches in front your bumper. What an inconveinence it would have been for you to park in a spot where your car actually fit.

    Sincerely,

    Whom it did not concern one bit.

    May 7, 2009 at 12:28 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Bunnee

      Dear hard working neighbor,

      Screw your sarcastic ass. I hope you die.

      Love,
      “Big Driveway” Dan

      May 7, 2009 at 12:34 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Tastelessandless

      “Screw your sarcastic ass.”

      *Not that there’s anything wrong with that.*

      May 7, 2009 at 1:20 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   fluffy8u

      Ooh! “Love!” I think someone’s got an admirer! ; )

      May 7, 2009 at 1:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   QuarterRoy00 bang

    2 inches or a yard, rock hard or if it’s saggin’…he ain’t to proud to PAN.

    May 7, 2009 at 12:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Ti to the O bang

      He ain’t heavy he’s my brotha.

      May 7, 2009 at 1:00 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   KatieMB

      You mean there’s another one like you at home?? *heart races*

      May 7, 2009 at 5:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Bunnee

    I sense a “neighborly” feud a-comin’! The kind that involves hidden cameras, late night phone calls and the police.

    May 7, 2009 at 12:31 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   TheOldSchool bang

      The feud would be unnecessary if the poster-maker simply purchased a new car that is two inches shorter in length (not height).

      Problem solved.

      Which reminds me: I should try the new Swedish vacuum pump “extendinator” that my mom bought for me.

      May 7, 2009 at 5:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Tastelessandless

      Don’t neglect the girth.

      (Girth girls are easy.)

      May 7, 2009 at 5:47 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   TheOldSchool bang

      Admittedly, shaving a couple inches off the sides of the vehicle might provide a bit of relief when it comes to parallel parking maneuvers, but the primary concern here is length.

      Because, T&L, when you strip away all the fatty gristle — once those two inches are lopped off, everything else is just more pork in the pie.

      (I’m curious to see what she gets!)

      May 7, 2009 at 6:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   park rose bang

      I love your jocular manner (exclamation mark). It’s just so Gatsby. That great book by John Irving, The World According to Gatsby

      May 8, 2009 at 8:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Mishee™ bang

    Of course, if you haven’t been to San Francisco, then you just don’t realize how important those 2 inches are and what they mean to the difference between being able to get up and go to work and not being able to get out of your driveway which in turn causes you to lose your job…

    I can kinda see where note recipient was coming from…

    May 7, 2009 at 12:34 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Melissa

      Did the recipient definitely call it in, do we know? I’ve always found parking patrollers to be pretty pro-active.

      May 7, 2009 at 12:37 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Tastelessandless

      If you’re goin’ to San Francisco
      Be sure to wear a yardstick in your hair….

      May 7, 2009 at 12:37 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Tastelessandless

      Gimme a ticket for a parking flaw.
      Ain’t got time to be a scofflaw….

      May 7, 2009 at 12:41 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   mamason bang

      I can attest to the fact that two inches can make all the difference in the world.

      May 7, 2009 at 12:56 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Mishee™ bang

      mama, especially when it comes to gay butt sex?

      May 7, 2009 at 12:57 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   mamason bang

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      *still beating the dead, gay horse*

      May 7, 2009 at 1:00 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   Ti to the O bang

      ” and it’s one …two inches your car overlapped.
      It’s obvious you don’t give a damn so i called the policeman!”

      (sorry Country Joe.)

      May 7, 2009 at 1:04 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   Mishee™ bang

      I love my dead gay son!!

      (that will probably be uttered by blackberry submitter from yesterday one of these days if she keeps making him take the bus)

      May 7, 2009 at 1:04 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   park rose

      One should never beat the dead, grey horse.

      *still beating the dead, grey horse*

      Well actually, it morphed from hound to horse.

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that.*

      May 7, 2009 at 1:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.10   Tastelessandless

      Mighty morphin’ hound cadavers?

      …and the horse you rode in on.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:11 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.11   Brooser

      So, this beaten horse was dead, gay, AND grey?

      Poor horse. But maybe he’s into that kind of thing…

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      May 7, 2009 at 2:21 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.12   park rose bang

      I’ll have you know that I gave that horse back to Grim, tasteless. Not that it was of much use to him.

      I read your name as tasteless and sandless, and you’ve received my thumb more than once today.

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      Hey, Brooser, glad you joined the melee.

      *Rose, I’m getting really tired of the juvenile overplaying of an expressionaphobia*

      May 7, 2009 at 2:29 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.13   Tastelessandless

      Your thumb is always welcome. Just let me know next time so I can take off my sandals and prepare to receive it.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:35 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.14   Bunnee

      “The old, grey horse, he ain’t what he used to be, since taking one up the ass.”

      May 7, 2009 at 4:52 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.15   Meesh

      Of course the horse was beaten! He was gay, wasn’t he?

      May 8, 2009 at 3:43 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.16   Tastelessandless

      Just because he was gay, that doesn’t mean he was defeated.

      May 8, 2009 at 3:46 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.17   Grimfool_Reluctant

      But it does mean he was stumped.

      May 9, 2009 at 4:32 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.18   park rose

      That’s a sticky wicket.

      May 9, 2009 at 5:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   CS harmonikah

    I appreciate the struggle in trying to spell inconvenience. It’s one of the words that i tend to massacre the spelling of, no matter how often i use it.

    May 7, 2009 at 12:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   park rose bang

      akshully, inconvenience ain’t all that hard, if you think, the ‘ee’ sound after the v and the ‘ee sound belonging to the second ‘i,’ and one sound relates to the ‘e’ and one sound relates to the ‘i”.

      May 8, 2009 at 9:28 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   amy d bang

      Uhhh, what?!

      May 8, 2009 at 9:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   park rose bang

      ♥ amy ♥

      pre-mid-year resolution… do not dominate the thread with superfluofisity…

      May 8, 2009 at 9:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   anglophile bang

      psst, amy

      rose is drunk

      May 8, 2009 at 9:55 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   park rose bang

      Butt, lucid I declare!

      May 8, 2009 at 10:01 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   amy d bang

      Rose, never mention the Super flu during a flu pandemic. It’ll start a panic.

      psst, Glo

      I know, but I can’t help messing with her.

      May 8, 2009 at 10:02 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   park rose bang

      Amy, you may think you are quick, but possibly I am quicker with liquor… ;)

      Oh, what fun we have while wiling away the time… waiting for a gnu knote.

      May 8, 2009 at 10:09 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   amy d bang

      I have no objections to a quicker licker.

      May 8, 2009 at 10:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   Mishee™ bang

      is it scary that roses’ #9.1 makes a little sense to me?

      May 8, 2009 at 10:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.10   park rose bang

      Not at all. Maybe you should get a degree in TESOL. I ass-ure you, grim will get it (hopes grim will get it, otherwise she is burro-wing deeper into her own hole…which some people seem to want to explore…but considering she is contesting glo for the patds crown, she doesn’t really know what they mean).

      May 8, 2009 at 10:31 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.11   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Well, halloo, little school ma’rm, and I done kicked your burro out of your burrow. I get it, fer sure, but I jist doan unnerstand why you wanna get all linguistical all over everyone’s asses. You ain’t all that patds anyway, is you?
      (But … not knowing what they mean … that is so much connection between what you do and what I do, no?)

      May 8, 2009 at 2:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.12   park rose

      True. Shall stop. And wear a grey avatar until the hangover subsides.

      May 8, 2009 at 6:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.13   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Nay, nay, fair lady (that’s my high horse talking), don not the avatar of gray nor yon unitard. Forsooth, I was more drunken than thou whilst posting my reply, and, gods wounds!, still am.
      And ye ask, gadzooks, how can this reluctant knight be so drunken and yet so careful a typist? It be my curse, gentle folk, a curse that lives on even 15 years after quitting my job as a managing editor.
      Yes, dear, I’m going out for more beer.

      May 9, 2009 at 4:37 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Cat Skyfire

    If it’s anything like my city, there’s supposed to be a 3 foot clearance by the driveway, so that two inches means they were way overboard.

    May 7, 2009 at 12:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Tastelessandless

      Well, naturally! After all, people with 3 feet need extra room.

      May 7, 2009 at 12:50 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   You Suck at Craigslist

      It’s nothing like your city. It’s San Francisco. Every millimeter is fair game for parking, but you’re not allowed to overhang into driveways.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:33 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   KatieMB

      Suddenly, by comparison, my private, spacious and lovely driveway seems lovelier than ever before.

      And I have just one itty bitty car to park on it.

      But I wouldn’t mind a visit by Big Driveway Dan. *ahem*

      May 7, 2009 at 4:48 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   T to the O

      Can I park my Ram van there? :wink:

      May 8, 2009 at 9:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   park rose bang

      Timo.

      May 8, 2009 at 9:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   KatieMB

      That’s not the only place you can park it…

      May 8, 2009 at 7:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   cam

    So apparently the extra 2 inches goes a long way in San Fran

    May 7, 2009 at 12:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Tastelessandless

      An extra foot goes even longer.

      May 7, 2009 at 12:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   mamason bang

      I have an extra foot. It’s all that remains of my parasitic twin, Bernadette. She protrudes from my chest. She likes to wear Prada and have her toenails painted red. She’s kind of a show-off.

      May 7, 2009 at 1:09 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   DearJane

      Does she also store coach bags in the refridgerator?

      May 7, 2009 at 1:33 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Brooser

      Hell, if I was nothing but a foot I’d want to show it off too…

      May 7, 2009 at 2:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Bob and Carol had a baby that was nothing but a head. At first they were horrified and dismayed, but they soon grew to love the little head, which soon displayed unusual awareness and intellect. All went well until little Bob, Jr.’s eighth birthday party, when they carried the head into the dining room and sat it on the table in front of a large, wrapped box, then started singing “Happpy Birthday.” The head stared at the box and suddenly burst into long, incontrollable sobbing. The concerned parents tried to quell the wailing, but to no avail. Finally, the head’s cries faded away, and Carol looked deeply into her loving son’s eyes and said, “Junior, what is wrong?”
      The head said, “I just know it’s another goddamn HAT!”

      May 7, 2009 at 7:41 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   oi!

      why does this story sound so familiar? It sounds like some bar joke…….

      May 7, 2009 at 7:54 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Aye, oi! I’ll bet we frequent the same bar . . . I’m sure I’ve also told you this: “Something must be wrong with my eyes — I can’t see anything but you!” and even: “Oh crap, there’s my wife!”

      May 7, 2009 at 8:04 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   Canthz_B bang

      A couple had a baby that was only a head.
      On his 21st birthday , his father took him to a bar and order his son a scotch for his first drink.
      Dad poured a little in the young man’s mouth, and suddenly the son began to scream and roll about on the bar.
      Then out popped his entire body.
      “What a birthday gift!”, he exclaimed!!
      He was grabbed almost immediately by a police officer who placed him under arrest.
      “What for?!”, he cried.
      “Indecent exposure”, replied the officer.
      The boy moaned…“I should have quit while I was a head!”

      May 7, 2009 at 8:37 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   oi!

      you married grim? disappointed :(

      CB you are darling. tried and tried but I could not recall the joke, remembered only that it involves bar. My brain “tongue” kept going there. now I can do something else.

      May 7, 2009 at 8:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.10   Bunnee

      A man and his wife are about ready to have their 6th child. Every child up to this point has been horribly deformed.
      As the father is pacing the waiting room, the doctor comes out to speak to him.
      “Is it a boy or a girl?”, the father asks.
      “Mr. Jones, would you love your baby, oh…I don’t know, say, if it had no arms or legs?”, asked the doctor.
      “Oh my God! Of course I would–just let me see my baby!”, screamed the father.
      “OK, brace yourself and follow me”, said the doctor.
      They walked down the hallway and went into the delivery room. The father crept over to the mother, who was holding the swaddled baby. He carefully peeled the blanket back, and….
      “Oh my God! He’s a giant eyeball!”, the father moaned. “What could be worse than this?!”, he screamed.
      The doctor replied, “He’s blind.”

      May 7, 2009 at 8:55 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.11   Grimfool_Reluctant

      @11.9 oi!: yes. Married, grim, disappointed.

      May 7, 2009 at 9:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.12   Grimfool_Reluctant

      {thwackkk!} OWWW!
      {thwackkk!} OWWWWWW!!!!
      {thwackkk!} OWW! It’s a joke, dearest {thwackkk!} a joke, really, I’m just {thwackkk!} OW! trying to be {thwackkk!} cute and clever! Please, darling, put down the rubber slipper . . .

      Hey, oi!, tell me more about this brain-tongue of yours {thwackkk! thwackkk! thwackkk!}

      May 7, 2009 at 9:47 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.13   oi!

      ha ha. Now I know why on the other day there was woman chasing me down and calling me all kind of names..
      you should not be taking interest in unknown objects. ;)

      May 8, 2009 at 12:55 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.14   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Ah, oi!, oi!, oi! Where would we be today if humans did not take interest in unknown objects? We would still be sitting in caves hunting mammoths (not that that’s a bad thing!), we would never have crossed the oceans . . . I wouldn’t have bruises from rubber slippers all over my body . . .
      As I try to explain to my darling goddess wife whenever she sees me ogling and slobbering over a miniskirt crossing the street, or shamelessly flirting on the internet, “Woman! I’ll have you know, I’m simply following in the footsteps of the immortal Christopher Columbus, Isaac Newton, James Tiberius Kirk and Woody Allen! I’m pushing back boundaries! I’m thinking outside the box! (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!) I’m going where no man has dared to go before!” Then she hits me with the rubber slippers, but hey, she’s tiny, and she tires quickly, and I don’t bruise that easily, and after all, I realize that I’m doing this for humanity.
      So oi!, I’m still waiting to hear about your brain toungue!

      May 8, 2009 at 10:11 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.15   oi!

      ok so you know when you have something stuck between your teeth and your tongue keeps going there until it’s dislodged? Well same way is the brain tongue. Imagine brain as a stadium pit. Now on the inside surface of this pit are tiny squares just like rows of sits in stadium. In the middle of pit is thin, long tongue(like frog’s tongue) so whenever you want to retrieve some info this tongue extends and makes contact with appropriate square. This contact sparks electricity and voila! info is at the tip of your tongue(pun intended) sometime this squares are rusted and enough sparks are not generated. so your tongue can retrieve only partial info. In that case brain tongue keeps making contact with that cell only and holds up your brain from doing other things.
      There.
      you have been fairly warned.

      May 11, 2009 at 2:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Dina

    As someone living in LA whose driveway is also regularly “nano”-blocked (about 3 or 4 inches), I can attest that those few inches can actually make the difference in whether you can see oncoming traffic, and safely enter the road without sticking too far past the line of parked cars.

    Team Open Driveway, 100%!

    May 7, 2009 at 12:48 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   molly

      But don’t you think people would understand if that was explained to them by the neighbour in question, instead of recieving anonymous fines? I’m sure the house owner would have recognised the offending car.

      May 7, 2009 at 12:53 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   techimpaired

      Usually the car is just there in the way with no way of knowing where the owner went or when they’ll be back. Whenever that happened I always had to flag down or call the nearest parking authority. It makes you feel like a douche, but there’s no way around it if you have to leave right away. Everyone knows you don’t block someone else’s driveway no matter how minimally, so there’s really no point in explaining anything to anyone. Also, it’s not unheard of for people to shoot their neighbors over parking spots or driveways. Team Open Driveway.

      May 7, 2009 at 10:03 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Geek Goddesss

      Open Driveway: something like an Open House, but not as welcoming.

      May 9, 2009 at 5:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Bunnee

    Wouldn’t it be a kick in the head if the note recipient didn’t actually drive? :lol:

    May 7, 2009 at 12:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Mishee™ bang

      Wouldn’t it be even better if the recipient didn’t drive because of seizures brought on by a kick in the head?

      May 7, 2009 at 12:59 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Bunnee

      What a twist!

      May 7, 2009 at 1:04 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Mishee™ bang

      yes! It’s like it was written by M. Night Shyamalan…

      but.. you know… without sucking…

      May 7, 2009 at 1:05 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   mamason bang

      Is it possible to write like M. Night Shamalamadingdong without sucking?

      May 7, 2009 at 1:11 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   leftfoot

      Probably not. I think sucking *something* is part of his process.

      Oh wait..

      May 7, 2009 at 2:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   fluffy8u

      Hey, don’t make fun of M. Night Shamalawn. It’s not his fault his movies suck. Oh, wait… he writes, directs, and produces. And the Happening should have been titled “the Crappening.”

      Okay, continue!

      May 7, 2009 at 2:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.7   Brooser

      Look out! The wind is coming!

      May 7, 2009 at 2:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.8   claw71 bang

      Hey, that movie freaked me out. Not that I was afraid of plants suddenly deciding to do us in but because I kept imagining that the wind was actually one of Mishee’s mom’s farts.

      May 7, 2009 at 3:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.9   Mishee™ bang

      I don’t know what all of you are thinking about when reading my M.N.S. reference comment…

      Personally I was thinking of the Robot Chicken skit.

      May 7, 2009 at 3:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.10   Bunnee

      Me too, when I said “What a twist!”, except I didn’t know if I should type, “Vat a tvist!”, like they pronounce it on RC.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.11   Mishee™ bang

      Bunnee – don’t freak out, but I have a creepy feeling we may actually be the same person

      May 7, 2009 at 4:27 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.12   Grimfool_Reluctant

      M. Night Shamalot’s new movie is titled “Lady In the Driveway,” about a woman who got kicked in the head and now has seizures so she can’t drive, and so she reports her neighbors for spelling neighbor with a u. The twist is that she actually is the same person as another person. The lady will be played by Bruce Willis AND Mel Gibson.

      May 7, 2009 at 8:28 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.13   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Oh, and it, too, will suck.

      May 7, 2009 at 8:28 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.14   fluffy8u

      Ooo! I can’t wait! It’ll be so terrible!! Will Mr. Trimmylawn’s cameo be the guy who kicks the woman?! : D

      Oh the suspense!!!!

      May 8, 2009 at 1:13 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.15   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Hold on, fluffer . . . remember, this is an M. Night Spamalot production. There will be no suspense! Just eerie soundtrack music and lots of shots of people with expressionless faces. And his cameo? HE PLAYS THE DRIVEWAY.

      May 8, 2009 at 2:00 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   claw71 bang

    Maybe if you’d worked a little harder on your parking skills in the first place, this whole melee wouldn’t have been necessary..

    May 7, 2009 at 1:12 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   park rose bang

      Loves *melee*, adds
      brouhaha.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:09 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Bunnee

      Rose, great minds think alike. I actually used ‘brouhaha’ in an email earlier today!

      Either that, or this is really spooky!

      May 7, 2009 at 2:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Tastelessandless

      Yes, melee you long time.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:13 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Mishee™ bang

      I always had a thing for the word “shenanigans”

      May 7, 2009 at 2:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   anglophile bang

      Kerfuffle?

      May 7, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   park rose bang

      Hopes tasteless’ comment is directed to Claw (loves tasteless’ humour, but is hoping to claim glo’s patds crown).

      dust- up

      fisticuffs. . .

      May 7, 2009 at 2:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.7   Tastelessandless

      Um, “patds”? (And yes, directed to Claw.)

      May 7, 2009 at 2:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.8   amy d bang

      Kerfuffle is one of those words that doesn’t seem to match its’ definition.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.9   Mishee™ bang

      patds = pure as the driven snow

      *scoffs*

      Which I refuse to believe on account of Glo’s absolute hotness…

      amy – another one is “fluffernutter” – sure doesn’t sound like a sandwich to me… makes me think more along the lines of something RB does to you after she’s had her way…

      May 7, 2009 at 2:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.10   park rose bang

      amy, it kind of matches if by definition you mean what a talking green frog and miss piggy get up to when no-one’s looking.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.11   park rose bang

      Mishee, at 14.9, brings us back to fisticuffs, really. . .

      May 7, 2009 at 2:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.12   Bunnee

      Kerfuffle sounds like some kind of dessert that’s mainly served at potluck dinners.

      “Ooooh, Fred, look! Edna brought her famous kerfuffle!”

      May 7, 2009 at 3:23 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.13   KatieMB

      I love Edna’s famous kerfuffle!!!

      *takes a second serving*

      May 7, 2009 at 4:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.14   agatha christie

      Hey Mishee, what’s the name of that restaurant with all the crazy shit on the walls?

      May 7, 2009 at 6:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.15   Mark bang

      I’ll field this one: Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag.

      Where the deep fryer can flash-fry a buffalo in forty seconds.

      “Forty seconds? But I want it now!”

      May 7, 2009 at 6:42 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.16   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Whoa, dude, you did NOT smile when you posted that. That means this one is free! Later!

      May 7, 2009 at 9:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.17   Daisychain 1978

      My, my, what a “pallaver” over a few scratchings on the back of an envelope?
      :-?
      *shielding my ears with fearful anticipation of an onslaught of “A FEW SCRATCHINGS!” “A FEW SCRATCHINGS!” “I’ll have you know these PAN’s are serious business!” *

      I just wanted to slip “pallaver” in and practice my new emoticon skill.

      My 2 cents, or should I say, inches?

      May 8, 2009 at 12:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.18   park rose

      You might want to spell it correctly, then, unless I am missing the punchline, which I often do, especially on any comment thread which includes entries from Mishee, Mark or Timo.

      However, since you placed it in inverted commas, possibly there is something I am not getting there, too (considering my current state of mind, highly likely).
      *still thinks daisychain is a good addition, welcomes her to the fold*

      May 8, 2009 at 12:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.19   anglophile bang

      *thinks daisy’s smilie is grand, thinks rose ought to be in bed sleeping it off*

      May 8, 2009 at 12:34 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.20   Ti to the O bang

      Aw Rose you are my favourite literati biscotti. I want to dunk you in my tea and have you for breakfast. :grin:
      there is a stain in my notebook where your coffee cup was

      May 8, 2009 at 1:00 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.21   Daisychain 1978

      *shucking with the demure nature of the Late Princess Diana* admits to playing witness to the world of PAN for many a month, only bravely to dabble my tootsies and finally take the plunge.

      I hold my hand to my heart and declare – “I will not knowestly let thee down and aim to fulfil lthe code of surreality and withering witticisms, or so strike me down with a PA blow to the soul’”.

      May 8, 2009 at 1:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.22   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Meh, that does it for me.
      *Sprays Daisychain with “new, improved, fecal mist — less mist!”* and leaves her to the vultures.
      I mean, come on, if you’re going to talk about your own body parts here, tootsies, hand, and heart will not suffice.

      May 8, 2009 at 2:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.23   Daisychain

      Meh, indeed, what a wank.

      *back tracks and ponders upon which folds I am being welcomed to. Man eating fleshy ones?

      Sopping wet vaginal ones do not appeal to me either .

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      May 9, 2009 at 6:30 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.24   Tastelessandless

      Meh-thinks thou didst repeat thyself re: folds.

      May 9, 2009 at 4:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.25   Canthz_B bang

      This wasn’t all that bad.
      Just a “dust-up” in terms of PAN conflicts!

      May 9, 2009 at 4:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.26   Daisychain

      Could have been worse.

      Besides, those folds, that dust and those two inches were “fucking delicious”!

      May 10, 2009 at 12:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Frankie bang

    My neighbor’s name was Mr. Rogers. He was hard working too. I never got mad at him for parking in my drive way. Not even for just two inches. Sometimes he’d only pull in a little just to tease me a bit, and then he’d slam it into drive and pull all the way in just to laugh in my face as he backed out again.

    I’m sorry, what were we talking about?

    May 7, 2009 at 1:21 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Mishee™ bang

      Did he do that before or after changing his sweater and shoes?

      May 7, 2009 at 1:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Frankie bang

      Before. The sweater and shoes was my signal to promptly go into the kitchen fix him an omelet leave it on the table and then go home.

      May 7, 2009 at 1:32 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   leftfoot

      You’re probably the reason he had to change his shoes and sweater. :-)

      May 7, 2009 at 2:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Tastelessandless

      It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood,
      a beautiful day to slip you some wood…

      I hope you made him wear a “raincoat.”

      May 7, 2009 at 2:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   Ti to the O bang

      *fans self*
      Frankie you just gave me the vapours!

      :lol:

      May 7, 2009 at 2:20 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.6   Mishee™ bang

      No timo, it wasn’t vapours… I think she was trying to slip you some ether.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.7   Frankie bang

      No, I farted.

      May 7, 2009 at 3:16 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.8   Mishee™ bang

      Frankie: Blimey! I thought I smelled cabbage!
      .
      .
      .

      *Wow, that makes me two for two in the last notes. Thank you Nigel Powers, thank you!

      May 7, 2009 at 4:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.9   Ti to the O bang

      I thought there was a slight piquant bouquet of hydrogen sulfide.
      I instantly made me think of Tacoma.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.10   mamason bang

      *loves Frankie* ♥

      May 7, 2009 at 4:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.11   Mark bang

      Ah, yes, “The Aroma from Tacoma.”

      It’s still there, fwiw.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:40 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.12   Ti to the O bang

      I hope you have a big trunk because I am going to put my bike in it.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.13   Tastelessandless

      Whoa, there, easy on the euphemisms, TittO.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.14   amy d bang

      But T, I’ve already got a lot of junk in my trunk.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:54 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.15   KatieMB

      What you gon’ do with all that junk?
      All that junk inside your trunk?
      I’ma gonna gonna gonna block your driveway with my trunk, my trunk, my trunk….

      May 7, 2009 at 5:35 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.16   Frankie bang

      I got the 40YOV reference Timo. And it made me so happy that if I took my panties off and threw them at the wall…..they’d stick.

      *covers face and giggles uncontrollably*

      May 7, 2009 at 6:15 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.17   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Wait . . . . . okay, mental download complete.

      I’m gonna use that comment later today during the staff meeting. It’ll be extra funny because I’m a guy. So I’ll say it all sarcastically.

      And it’ll be extra funny to me because I’m going in commando today.

      May 7, 2009 at 7:21 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   kate

    You’ve never lived in LA, have you? Speak to the neighbors?

    hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    May 7, 2009 at 1:23 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   CS harmonikah

    This is one of the situations where a passive aggressive note would have saved the day.

    If the driver had received a note on his windshield about being inconsiderate and in the way, he may get pissed off, but he’d $85 richer.

    May 7, 2009 at 1:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   MeToo

      I have a feeling this wasn’t the bitch parker’s first time to block the driveway. (I say bitch because the handwriting is girlie. Maybe I’m being sexist.)

      Team Parking Cop (or whatever they’re called) Caller.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   CS harmonikah

      I dont tolerate sexism. But it probably was a girl from the typo, since chicks can’t spell.

      I actually meant “they” but some freudian slip about personal parking tickets came out.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   MeToo

      We all know us chicks can’t drive, either. By extension, that means we can’t park.

      So, must be a chick!

      May 7, 2009 at 3:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Ti to the O bang

      I bet is was an Asian chick freshly sated from her labrador lunch. We all know that lunch can makes us sleepy and woozy. Plus Asians and girls are the worst drivers ever ergo vis-a-vis the worst parkers. :roll:
      But seeing how precisely it was positioned in blocking the driveway I will guess that it is a hot Asian alien chick hiding from the Alliance that parked there.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   MeToo

      And, if we’re playing the statistics game…she was probably gay.

      Wait…can aliens be gay? Or were you saying illegal?

      Oh, I’m so confused by all the isms!

      May 7, 2009 at 4:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Ti to the O bang

      The Warrior Women from the planet Lesbos are gay.

      The alien slave dancing girls of Orion are born hermaphrodites but their male genitalia is removed shortly after birth in an ancient ritual. Only one male is allowed in a moon. He and others like him care for the young offspring of the dancing girls.

      May 7, 2009 at 5:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   Mark bang

      Death by snu-snu!

      May 7, 2009 at 5:11 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   Grimfool_Reluctant

      @#17.4 . . . Hey, I’ll have you know my wife is a hot Asian chick, so I’ll have you know your post has a fatal error. Oh, I’m not disputing the driving or the parking thing . . . but, “sated” from her lunch? Have you ever seen these women eat? Most of them eat a seed and a bean and say they’re stuffed, and the others (my wife included, at her precious 45 kg), can eat their serving, half of yours, ask for extra rice, chew the napkins, and then ask you to take them to Baskin-Robbins after, all the while asking you what you want to eat for dinner.

      May 8, 2009 at 2:09 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   CS harmonikah

    Why did the author have to scribble out the amount of the fine and edit it? Did the fine increase while he was writing the note?

    May 7, 2009 at 1:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   DearJane

      “Sir, we’re going to up your fine by $1 with each word you write” “oh yeah?” “That’s another one” “keep ‘em coming” “that’s another” *reels, having a quasi breakfast club moment*

      May 7, 2009 at 1:53 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   CS harmonikah

      That explains the wild handwriting and the spelling issues. The poor writer was in a race against time.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   KatieMB

      “…We’ll keep going. You want another one? Just say the word say it. Instead of going to prison you’ll come here. Are you through? “

      May 7, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   lady

    can the submitter say where in san francisco the note was found? i live here too, and that handwriting is a dead wringer for a close friend who recently passed away. this is exactly the type of note she’d have left… i’m curious to see if it was found in her neighbourhood or not.

    May 7, 2009 at 1:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Mishee™ bang

      I believe it was appended to her will to be handed to her neighbor in the event of her death.

      This explains why it was found on the sidewalk, discarded and uncared for…

      May 7, 2009 at 2:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Tastelessandless

      The handwriting is a deceased laundry worker?

      May 7, 2009 at 2:15 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Mishee™ bang

      Tasteless, this isn’t 1896 – we don’t use wringers anymore silly…

      May 7, 2009 at 2:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Grimfool_Reluctant

      We don’t use wringers? I guess that means I’ll have to choke the chicken!

      May 7, 2009 at 11:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Neeners

    This person needs to visit:

    youparklikeanasshole.com

    May 7, 2009 at 2:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   leftfoot

      I leave those all over town, even when people are parked normally.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   CS harmonikah

      I think you’re the reason for a lot of the hate mail on the site.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   Grimfool_Reluctant

      I got redirected to the wrong site:

      yourassholeislikeaparkinglot.com

      May 7, 2009 at 9:36 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Eff 'Em

    I have lived in SF (I live in Oakland now) and I don’t play assholes that think they can just leave their cars sitting part way into your driveway. I even deal with that on a street that has more parking then you would normally find in SF (the street is still generally packed with cars).

    My next door neighbors used to allow their friends to completely block off my drive way and after they moved and I was able to get in or out, they would think they could just move back. After too long of going back and forth with them, their landlord and us and our landlords (verbally..no notes), i just started calling the cops. Fuck it…let OPD deal with it and tow them.

    God forbid I had an emergency and needed to leave asap, but i need to locate you and your guest and *ask* for you to move your janky ride…ugh.

    I don’t feel bad for this hardworking person

    May 7, 2009 at 2:27 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Mishee™ bang

      Be careful Eff’Em. You could be shot.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   claw71 bang

      It was once said by a neighbor who was blocked
      “Move your fucking car, before I call the cops!”
      The dopeman said, “bitch, you best come correct”
      Then he pulled a 45 and shot him in the neck.
      Cops never showed, because the town is Oakland
      The police don’t care because they’re too busy toking.
      That’s the way it goes, that’s the name of this game
      When you try to run the hood you go down in flames.

      May 7, 2009 at 3:17 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   Canthz_B bang

      Yes, Mishee™…by the OPD!! 8-O

      May 7, 2009 at 8:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   Mishee™ bang

      CB – lately it seems that everyone is shooting the OPD.

      Its the circle of life I suppose.

      May 8, 2009 at 8:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   CS harmonikah

      You down with OPD? Yeah you know me!
      Who’s down with OPD? Every last homie!

      May 8, 2009 at 9:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.6   unholyghost2003 bang

      I believe the “homies” are down with OPP and the “homegirls” are down with OPD … unless the “homies” are “on the D.L.”

      May 8, 2009 at 9:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.7   Beanster

      Ontario Provincial Police?

      All they do is give out speeding tickets on the 401.
      It’s the municipal Popo who do parking tickets

      *do parking tickets*

      But in Ontario the note would read

      “I’m so sorry to bother you, but I just realized that my parking job blocked your driveway. I am sorry you had to go through the inconvenience and call the by-law cops. Sincerely, your neighbour.”

      and it would be sincere. and the response would be

      “Oh man, I’m so sorry you got a fine. I really didn’t intend that to happen. I just wanted to get out of my driveway. By the way, I’m super sorry my driveway reduces the amount of parking on this street.”

      it too would be sincere.

      May 8, 2009 at 10:39 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   noah

    Whether the original complaint was reasonable depends a great deal on the width of the driveway and how busy the street is. If they blocked a portion of a really wide driveway, the original complainer is a whiner. If the street is not very busy, a small blockage also isn’t a big deal, because you can just back straight out across the street. But, on a busy street, that’s dangerous. Need more information.

    Team ambivalent!

    May 7, 2009 at 2:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   anglophile bang

      I disagree. If the car doesn’t fit, you must park it! (elsewhere)

      May 7, 2009 at 2:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   CS harmonikah

      Ok. People’s Court is in session.
      We need a photo of the offending car, and the driveway, as well as a scale illustration of where the car was parked. Blogger Justice.

      May 7, 2009 at 2:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   claw71 bang

      11. Thou shalt not obstruct thy neighbor’s driveway.

      and if we’re being honest, I’d much rather have my neighbor covet my ass than block my drive. Team God Needs to Update the 10 Cs.

      May 7, 2009 at 3:12 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   park rose

      Admires Claw’s donkey.

      May 7, 2009 at 3:20 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Appreciates Park Rose’s burro.

      (High horse, away!)

      May 7, 2009 at 7:14 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.6   mamason bang

      I know some people who’d like to burrow into her burro.

      *there might just be something wrong with that*

      May 7, 2009 at 8:38 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.7   Tastelessandless

      Hoping to hear her mewl?

      May 7, 2009 at 8:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   claw71 bang

    I couldn’t help but pen some lyrics to the tune of Working Class Hero:

    As soon as you park, they’re making the call
    you blocked part of the drive, but not nearly all.
    Then a ticket is left and you have to pay all
    A hard working neighbor’s something to be
    A hard working neighbor’s something to be
    They hide in their home, like chickenshit fools
    they call the damn cops to enforce the damn rule
    then you can’t get a discount if you go to traffic school
    a hard working neighbor is something to be
    a hard working neighbor is something to be
    They’ve looked down their noses for twenty odd years
    sitting at home while you work your career
    you don’t even mind that they’re a couple of queers
    A hard working neighbor is something to be
    A hard working neighbot is something to be
    They don’t even drive, they take the bus… do you see?
    They once owned a Vespa but said it wasn’t quite green
    but obstruct their drive and they’ll throw a tizzy
    A hard working neighbor is something to be
    A hard working neghbor is something to be
    They won’t be rude, they wave at you still
    but you know that they mock you when you pay the bill
    it makes you so mad that you just want to kill
    A hard working neighbor is something to be
    A hard working neighbor is something to be

    if you want to leave a note, well just look at me
    if you want to leave a note well just look at me

    May 7, 2009 at 3:08 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   aaa

    Well, it’s obvious you were working so hard to leave your car hanging two inches (Really? I’m guessing it’s really more like a foot and a half.) over the driveway of your hated neighbors. I just feel so horrifyingly sad that you and your hard work were punished with an $85 fine. *cries*

    May 7, 2009 at 3:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Daisychain 1978

      I hear your pain.

      If the PAN author was to go to the sincere effort to formally apologize they could at least have edited in a jpeg or a diagram onto the carefully selected enveloped she penned her frustration on and provided us all with the evidence that is was only a mere two inches.

      However, in San Fran or so I heard (in my mind), two inches can be the difference between a passionate fling and a civil partnership.

      May 8, 2009 at 11:10 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Joy

    That note seems a little harsh on the driveway owners, since parking enforcement in SF is pretty aggressive — the owners might have called the cops, but it’s more likely the cops spotted a minor infraction and seized the opportunity to enrich the city’s coffers for an infraction no one cares about.

    May 7, 2009 at 3:34 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   claw71 bang

      I hereby change your PAN name to KILLjoy, seeing as you had to come in here and ruin a perfectly good post by injecting logic and sensibility into the mix. You suck. You so suck and you don’t even know it.

      May 7, 2009 at 3:37 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Mishee™ bang

      Joy, of course they did.

      CA is broke.

      We need all the cash we can get.

      May 7, 2009 at 3:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   mamason bang

      Yeah, but does she swallow?

      May 7, 2009 at 11:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   Bernd das Brot bang

      Oh yes, he does.

      May 8, 2009 at 9:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.5   mamason bang

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      *I suffer from a very specific form of Tourette’s and I can’t stop myself from using this one phrase*

      May 9, 2009 at 1:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.6   Tastelessandless

      Asterisk of beating a dead gay horse with a rubber-heeled slipper, I feel compelled to proffer the obligatory quip re: 25.6:

      “not that there’s anything wrong with that”

      May 9, 2009 at 4:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.7   Canthz_B bang

      Ross Perot was nearly right.
      Only, the giant sucking sound wasn’t caused by NAFTA, Joy was in town.

      May 9, 2009 at 6:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Tastelessandless

    How much do you think we can get for Claw’s donkey?

    [Arrgghh! Gigglebrax fail! Wanted to respond to Mishee's 25.2....I'll have u know I hit the wrong reply link!]

    *bangs head on keyboard, then deletes resulting gibberish*

    May 7, 2009 at 4:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   DearJane

      I think you have the ‘esc’ key stuck to your forehead now…

      May 7, 2009 at 4:08 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   Tasteless

      Sadly, there’s no escape.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   Mishee™ bang

      How weird. It would’ve been a gigglebrax fail either way, since they are talking about claw’s donkey on #22 thread…

      May 7, 2009 at 4:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.4   park rose

      But if the donkey had a parking infraction, then how much would CA get for it? In other words, if the ass’ ass was parked an inch or two in the wrong direction.

      I think that’s the logic.

      Gigglebrax fails happen to us all, tasteless. I’m surprised that Mishee didn’t put you in the unitard.

      May 7, 2009 at 7:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.5   Resident Grammarian esq bang

      I think that was a passive aggressive way of telling you to put him in the unitard Mishee.

      May 7, 2009 at 9:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.6   Grimfool_Reluctant

      How much gas could an ass’s ass pass if an ass’s ass could pass gas?

      May 7, 2009 at 9:39 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   oi!

    Parking blues in east bay
    It’s such a sore point for me, I can’t even think of funny comments :(

    May 7, 2009 at 4:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Mishee™ bang

      ummm… if you think San Francisco is the East Bay, I think you should consult http://www.googlemaps.com...

      May 7, 2009 at 4:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Tasteless

      Don’t get sore, get even.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   oi!

      oh Mishee you are so kind with your vast knowledge. Thanks for introducing me to google.
      btw I never said city is in east bay. I know very well where it is because I live in bay area. I was just singing blues about parking and could not think of any funny ones so……….May be both sentences together created confusion.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:35 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   Mishee™ bang

      Yes.

      You comment was quite unclear.

      Even to a stoner like myself.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:44 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.5   Bunnee

      From your last comment, Mishee, I think that yes, we are the same person.

      May 7, 2009 at 5:00 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.6   oi!

      The pain you have experienced in deciphering my unclear comment will never fully be absolved……….

      May 7, 2009 at 7:16 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.7   oi!

      The pain YOUR have experienced in deciphering I unclear comment will never fully be absolved……….

      May 7, 2009 at 8:38 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   DearJane

    I say the parker next time doesn’t park 2 inches into the driveway, but fully IN the driveway next time. Just to be a real jerk.
    At least in SF they have curbs. Here in VT we just have jackasses pulling too far up on the edge of lawns. Taking my sod with them! It’s my sod!

    May 7, 2009 at 4:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   se

      Oh, that’s just so sod.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   Mishee™ bang

      Where did you hear this myth about curbs? Did you consult http://www.snopes.com to verify your information?

      Most residential streets in San Francisco (y’all see how nicely I keep SPELLING THE NAME OUT BECAUSE SF, SFO, SAN FRAN, FRISCO AND OTHERS ARE JUST WRONG WRONG WRONG!!) have a raised sidewalk, but no “curb” to speak of as most streets are very narrow and so people have to park half on and half off the sidewalk to give enough room on the street for traffic to drive through…

      But I will say, there isn’t a sod for miles!

      May 7, 2009 at 4:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Bunnee

      Oh my God! Not your sod! Break out the cattle prod!

      May 7, 2009 at 4:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.4   Tasteless

      Tell `em to sod off!

      May 7, 2009 at 4:16 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.5   DearJane

      I should put a sign at the end of my lawn informing people if they park there they will return to find their car full of cranky old ladies itching to hit some yard sales.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:26 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.6   mamason bang

      Itchy old ladies? ewwww…

      May 7, 2009 at 4:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.7   Tastelessandless

      And so old that you have to use a crank to start `em.

      May 7, 2009 at 4:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.8   Canthz_B bang

      Kneel before Sod!

      May 8, 2009 at 1:47 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.9   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Sod-omiSe the British!

      May 8, 2009 at 2:14 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.10   Canthz_B bang

      The lawn was abused by the Marquis de Sod.

      May 8, 2009 at 2:24 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.11   Canthz_B bang

      Bush took us to war to keep Sod-damn Hussein off the White House lawn.

      May 8, 2009 at 2:28 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.12   Canthz_B bang

      If you think their sod was bad, you should have seen what happened to their gomor!

      I’ll have you know, it wasn’t a pretty sight!!

      Somebody stop me!!

      May 8, 2009 at 2:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.13   ashmeadow

      Do you really want someone to stop you, because
      I think you could do this all week. :razz:

      May 9, 2009 at 4:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.14   Canthz_B bang

      That’s what all the girls say, but I’ve been advised to call a doctor after four hours! :twisted:

      May 9, 2009 at 6:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.15   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Hey, if my erection last over four hours, I’m calling my doctor.
      And my father.
      And my brother.
      And my friends.
      Hell, I’m telling EVERYONE!

      Yes, dear, I’m going out for more beer.

      May 9, 2009 at 8:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.16   KatieMB

      Take a picture, it’ll last even longer.

      May 9, 2009 at 8:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.17   Canthz_B bang

      OK, I’ve taken a picture.

      *wonders how this would look on facebook?*

      May 9, 2009 at 11:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.18   KatieMB

      Dunno but I bet it’d look fine in my inbox.

      May 10, 2009 at 6:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Ti to the O bang

    Twitchy bold maybes?

    May 7, 2009 at 4:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Tastelessandless

      Funky cold medinas?

      May 7, 2009 at 5:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Ti to the O bang

      Waxy mold aureoles?

      May 7, 2009 at 5:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   Tastelessandless

      Fluff’n'Fold airedales?

      May 7, 2009 at 5:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.4   T to the O

      Ye Olde David Coverdale?

      May 8, 2009 at 3:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.5   Tastelessandless

      Fool’s gold-dusted hovercraft?

      May 8, 2009 at 3:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Ti to the O bang

    Hard to Hold Springfield?

    * I regret I only have but one + for your airedales.

    May 7, 2009 at 5:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Tastelessandless

      A thousand and one damnations!

      May 7, 2009 at 5:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Tastelessandless

      Er, that should have been “A hundred and one damnations!” I failed to conduct a spot count.

      May 7, 2009 at 5:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   Geek Goddesss

      You got it confused with a thousand and one arabian gazelle hounds. Many people make that mistake.

      May 8, 2009 at 1:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   T to the O

      I usually do my counts by weight so I am usually off by one or two hounds and or dalmatians.

      May 8, 2009 at 3:39 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.5   Tastelessandless

      I’m trying to lose a few hounds I gained while on vacation.

      (Just one vacation, not a hundred and one.)

      May 8, 2009 at 3:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   m

    this note assumes a lot.

    who is to say that the neighbor called the police and had them ticketed? a cop car probably just drove along and ticketed them..how is that the driveway owner’s fault?

    May 7, 2009 at 9:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   anglophile bang

      …and therein lies the true beauty and glory of this note, m. Well spotted.

      May 7, 2009 at 10:17 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   Daisychain 1978

      Hence the non committal approach to fastening the note to a front door and opting for the pavement/sidewalk instead.

      May 8, 2009 at 5:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   park rose

      footpath ;)

      May 8, 2009 at 6:41 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   Daisychain 1978

      Purist! :-o

      May 8, 2009 at 11:35 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.5   park rose

      Australian.

      May 8, 2009 at 11:39 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.6   Daisychain 1978

      I’ll curb my enthusiasm.

      May 8, 2009 at 12:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.7   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Purist, Australian … is there a difference? Kangaroo (“I don’t know.”)

      May 9, 2009 at 4:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.8   park rose

      I’ll ask ‘glo. She has vast knowledge of all things pure.

      May 9, 2009 at 5:10 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.9   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Thank god (or sod) for Asian posters!

      May 9, 2009 at 6:03 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.10   anglophile bang

      We early-rising Midwesterners aren’t good enough for you, eh, Grim?

      I only know about cats and knitting and decorative handtowels, rose. Oh, and I caught a unicorn in my back yard last week, but I’m sure that was just a fluke.

      *wanders off to feed the cats*

      May 9, 2009 at 7:09 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.11   park rose bang

      I hope you didn’t let it rest its head on your lap, ‘glo.

      Park Rose is a British ceramic brand name thingy, grim. I picked it by chance while looking at a garish flowered rabbit on my table, of which I have grown rather fond. It was handmade by Park Rose. And so the moniker stuck.

      (cos’ I’m not quite sure what Grim’s comment is referring too, whether location, or what could be considered a surname, or something else entirely unrelated…)

      May 9, 2009 at 7:13 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.12   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Ni, or nay, or neigh, my comment was simply saying you were awake and online at the same time as I.
      (Almost 10 Sunday morning now . . . can I buy more beer without shame? Do I care? Later, dudes!)

      May 9, 2009 at 8:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.13   park rose

      Well let me bore you with a story, grim, sad but true. On a note that shall not be mentioned (because I cannot remember its name) a random poster complimented me on the great grammar massacre of ‘our’ language of, oh, way back some time last year. (I assumed I had been ethnically cleansed, excluded, not included in his statement ).

      …I clicked his name which led to his blog. He was a disgruntled punk (as in musician) Irishman who had gone to Korea and found it lacking, and he was angry, damnit, and everyone was going to know about it.

      I think he figured the ‘park’ in my name meant I was Korean, and fair game, or, more than likely, he was correct and I had mangalated the Queen’s English (though being Irish and all, he shouldn’t have minded). And so, my pretty, way off -topic, and totally unnecessary tale has endeth.

      I hope you are able to control that drunken, high steer. Negotiating it, bareback, down the crowded streets of Seoul (or wherever) must involve dexterity of the utmost.

      May 9, 2009 at 11:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Canthz_B bang

    Dear Hard Working Neighbor,

    We’re sorry about the parking ticket.
    That was $85.00 we’d hoped you would use to pay for an etiquette seminar.

    The Concerned

    May 8, 2009 at 12:06 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Nancy

    LOL i’m always writing notes like this (this site in general) and then i usually decide not to leave them cause i’m afraid ill look like a lunatic. Apparently I’m not the only one who does it though :)

    Some of us realize that “Neighbour” is the proper spelling of that word in certain countries, including a country where the english language existed before the United States of America. We feel no need to harass other people on their proper, although different, spelling of words.

    May 8, 2009 at 2:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Daisychain 1978

      Correct you are Nancy, your PAN do make you look like a lunatic. Referring to the royal “we” are “we” or is that a multiple personality disorder?

      ;-)

      May 8, 2009 at 4:34 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   Mishee™ bang

      Nancy, kerry lives in Austin, TX. She used to live in Brooklyn. This is her site.

      Hence, this is an American site and we will spell things in AMERICAN.

      That’s just how it is.

      May 8, 2009 at 8:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   park rose bang

      Mishee, you know I love you, but…butt…ass…arse…

      May 8, 2009 at 9:05 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.4   Mishee™ bang

      rose – you can spell anything any way you want.

      you didn’t waste your first comment on this site on something as stupid as Nancy, so you don’t count in my last comment…

      May 8, 2009 at 9:07 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.5   park rose bang

      Can’t edit on safari, sorry. Mish, Nancy is one of you… I think. As in, nationality, not personality.

      May 8, 2009 at 9:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.6   Mishee™ bang

      rose – that’s even worse, which means she is one of those “Free Thinking Americans” – and as you know, we can’t be having none of that shit around here…

      May 8, 2009 at 9:11 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.7   Woman on the Verge bang

      That’s right Mish. Everyone knows it cost big bucks to think in America.

      May 8, 2009 at 9:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.8   park rose bang

      or to stop thinking.

      May 8, 2009 at 9:38 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.9   amy d bang

      Wait, things existed before the United States of America???

      *worldview crushed*

      May 8, 2009 at 9:58 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.10   park rose bang

      cochineal (how’s it made, folks?).

      May 8, 2009 at 10:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.11   Daisychain 1978

      Mexican beetle juice? Tastes lush with a splat of “free” mayo mixed in.

      May 8, 2009 at 11:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.12   Tastelessandless

      Mexican beetle juice!
      Mexican beetle juice!
      Mexican beetle juice!

      OK, why aren’t I seeing Miguel Keaton?

      May 8, 2009 at 6:40 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.13   Tastelessandless

      Oh, and I think that cochineal is crushed along with amy’s world view…. and perhaps some cantharides.

      May 8, 2009 at 6:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.14   Mark bang

      This girl walked by – she gave me the eye
      I reached in the locker – grabbed the Spanish Fly
      I put it with the Monkey – mixed it in the cup
      Went over to the girl, “Yo baby, what’s up?”

      May 8, 2009 at 6:57 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.15   KatieMB

      You charmer you!!! Um, is that your snake?

      May 8, 2009 at 7:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.16   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Mexican beetle juice . . . Miguel Keaton. Not THAT is clever. I have laughed EVERY TIME I’ve seen that today (but I always laugh at Beetlejuice, too.) Well played.

      May 9, 2009 at 6:06 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.17   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Sorry, now “edit” isn’t working. I meant to say, “Now THAT is clever.”

      May 9, 2009 at 6:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.18   Daisychain

      Bollocks, Grimfool. Tis was a fredian slip.

      May 9, 2009 at 6:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.19   park rose bang

      Not bollocks, fred, or diane? You lay claim to diane last night, so I’ll run with that. It’s very funny.

      So are Grim’s posts. I’m grimly, but not reluctantly, giggling at them all.

      (oh my, I’m back in colour. I might just have to rectify that).

      May 9, 2009 at 7:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.20   Daisychain

      Marvellous. Perhaps it would be better if I kept Freud (hence Fredian but minus the “u”) out of it. Rather a lot of reluctant giggles, moans and groans all around…a typical friday night me thinks.

      I have noticed after reviewing a diagram of the mexican beetle, that the male cochineal might be overcompensating for something. However I am unaware of the scale but from what I have gathered two inches is a significant figure.

      May 9, 2009 at 7:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.21   park rose bang

      Yes, it did puzzle me. But I still have a hangover. I except to remain non-thumbed for my presumption.

      May 9, 2009 at 7:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   park rose bang

    (((Mishee))) – ferocious hugs - I just might be a little drunk, and so, cannot focus on being lucid. But, I might just post with gay abandon (hurrah!)[not that there's anything wrong with that].]
    *Pines for mama*.

    May 8, 2009 at 9:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   park rose bang

      Fuck (can’t back edit with safari), don the unitard. I thought we’d just passed it off to tasteless…

      May 8, 2009 at 9:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   Mishee™ bang

      rose, being drunk AND upside down at the same time can’t be good.

      oh wait, you aren’t home right now huh?

      well, either way, watch out of the ninjas that I am sure are abundant over there where you live.

      (((((rosie)))))

      May 8, 2009 at 9:13 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.3   Tastelessandless

      Oh, that’s OK, you can have the (u)nitard back now. Its form-hugging material accentuated my “primary characteristics” in a flattering, albeit distracting, manner. That made up for the whole wearing-this-cuz-I-was-a-dumbass thing. :roll:

      May 8, 2009 at 2:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Hi, Billy Mays here, .. When you need to get rid of ninjas, get yourself a Spartan.

      May 10, 2009 at 11:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   park rose bang

    Doesn’t anyone find it ironic, not that this thread has anything to do with all that shit, that the world’s opinion is directed by a measly mouthed Australian?
    Oh, Rupert Murdoch, you too, you foxxxxxy devil you, long may you reign. Watch out for him, folks. He is the devil incarnate.

    May 8, 2009 at 9:41 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Daisychain 1978

      Yes.

      Which is why I prefer to keep my head out of the newspapers and instead firmly up my own arse, removing it only for the occasional bit of independently narrated cultural air.

      May 8, 2009 at 11:42 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   ravenlynne

    This note is AWESOME.

    May 8, 2009 at 10:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   TheOldSchool

      At least someone here still knows where to get bootleg vicodin.

      May 10, 2009 at 3:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   GhostWriter bang

    I used to have the same trouble, as my triple-wide drive sits across from a Starbucks. People would see a closed iron gate, and assume that the parking space was safe.

    I got tired of calling the cops; the parkers would usually leave prior to their arrival. I use the back alley drive to exit my property, so I wasn’t inconvenienced, just irritated, by the scofflaws.

    Instead, I started writing my own tickets, and instructing the parkers to send their $85 to “Municipal Parking Enforcement”, c/o my P.O. box. Did you know that “advising” or “instructing” people to send you “Unauthorized Parking Compensation” is completely legal? On any given Monday, I haul in around $500 in checks and money orders. Repeat offenders are the best; my fees escalate.

    Do I mind if their bumper extends two inches onto my drive? Not at all.

    May 8, 2009 at 11:59 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   nick

    9834

    May 8, 2009 at 3:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Tastelessandless

      Attempting to place a phone call?

      Perhaps you neglected to include the opening ampersand and “pound sign”, as well as the concluding semicolon.

      May 8, 2009 at 3:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   Canthz_B bang

      Whilst we were fighting over English, we forgot all about those wonderful speakers of Numerical.

      May 8, 2009 at 8:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   Canthz_B bang

      Nick, what is it boy?
      9834
      Timmy is in trouble?
      9834!
      You want me to follow you, boy?
      9834!, 9834!

      May 9, 2009 at 2:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.4   Tastelessandless

      Golly, CB, every day is a numerical when ya stop to think of it.

      May 9, 2009 at 4:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.5   Canthz_B bang

      When I stop to think about it, every date is a numerical.
      That’s miracle enough for me! ;-)

      May 9, 2009 at 6:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.6   Tastelessandless

      Well played. :)

      At a place where I used to work, I once replied to a co-worker’s remark about a vampire movie by saying, “Of course, you’re speaking in a jocular vein.”
      She looked at me blankly, and then said, “The term is jugular vein.” :roll:

      I changed jobs as quickly as possible.

      May 10, 2009 at 2:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.7   TheOldSchool

      I wish I could train myself to look at people blankly whenever I wanted.

      It’s the all-purpose flour of expressions.

      May 10, 2009 at 4:25 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.8   TheOldSchool

      If you’re ever cornered by a bore at a party, just stare at his chin.

      May 10, 2009 at 4:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.9   TheOldSchool

      Same with boors.

      May 10, 2009 at 4:36 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.10   TheOldSchool

      With boars (which are really just male warthogs) you have to be more assertive. Find a place to set your drink down. Then look directly into the boar’s eyes.

      Quickly grab the boar by his tusks, thrusting your left leg so that it extends along the boar’s right flank. As if you’re making a hair pin turn in a speeding dumptruck, crank the boar’s horns sharply to the right. As you flip its bodyover your extended leg, make sure it lands its back, and then keep the tusks pinned to the floor.

      From here, it’s simply a matter of positioning yourself so that you can amass maximum force when you inflict your double-kneed cannon ball onto its belly.

      Winded and humiliated, the boar will feign unconciousness, allowing you to casually pick up your drink and find others with whom to mingle.

      May 10, 2009 at 4:57 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.11   TheOldSchool

      If the boar is too large to flip, there is only one option left.

      9834.

      Good look, and God speed.

      May 10, 2009 at 5:01 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   claw71 bang

    Now I know what J. Jonah was always yelling about parker.

    May 8, 2009 at 3:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Canthz_B bang

      nice

      MANILOW!!!!!!
      RICKLES!!!!!
      PARKER!!!!!!

      May 9, 2009 at 11:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   KatieMB

    Nothing to see here, move along….

    May 8, 2009 at 7:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Grimfool_Reluctant

    Why is my gigglebrax function not working? Everytime I click on “reply to this comment” I get sent back to the top of the page? Is there a limit on nonerudite witlessness?

    May 9, 2009 at 3:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Oh, sure. NOW it works. Make me look like an idiot, just when I was trying to flirt with all the cool chix (not that there’s anything wrong with that) while Ms. Reluctant isn’t watching.

      May 9, 2009 at 4:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.2   KatieMB

      It was misbehaving for me as well, GR, but I slapped it around a few times and it’s been a good boy since.

      *pats gigglebrax’s head*

      May 9, 2009 at 3:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.3   Tastelessandless

      Misbehaving and then responding well to slapping around and petting? That might be the snake from your 33.15 comment. Careful there KMB, it could be a spitting cobra.

      *not that there’s anyth… Oh, give it a rest.

      May 9, 2009 at 4:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.4   KatieMB

      Spitting cobras have their good points….

      May 9, 2009 at 7:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   Julie

    That word (absolve). I do not think it means what you think it means.

    May 10, 2009 at 12:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   daniel

    a friend in san francisco has had his guest’s cars towed IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT by his neighbors for being an inch into the driveway. he warns them to wake up at 6 to move their cars just in case, and often they have disappeared.

    May 11, 2009 at 4:32 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Rachel

    No sympathy. If you park in someones drive way, you deserve to be towed. No matter how far into it you are. There is an area around the drive way that you arent allowed to park on. Anyone who has lived or been to SF knows how tight these little driveways are. They’re maybe 5′ across and steep. I am glad that person got a parking ticket. You break the law, you get caught, its on you…

    May 12, 2009 at 2:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   leigh

    Better a fine than to be towed. That’s what happened to me for my bumper reaching the curved part of the curb before it officially becomes driveway.

    My friend has had his truck towed twice by the same neighbors when he was parked perfectly fine.

    The worst are the neighbors who mess with your motorcycle because they don’t like them parked there. Grrr.

    May 16, 2009 at 3:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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