Thanks, Mom, for reminding me why I moved out in the first place

May 10th, 2009 · 95 comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I’m the oldest of four girls, none of whom are living at home. In fact, we’re all currently living in different states. My mom resents the fact that we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives living under her roof. On Mother’s Day she screened my call, then mass-texted all four of us this gem. Happy Mother’s day, Mom!!”

just want 2 wish u all happy kids day!

Meanwhile, Stephen in Spain thought he was being considerate by waiting until later in the day to call, given the six-hour time difference. Next year, he’ll know to wake his Mom up at 4 a.m. to show her JUST HOW MUCH HE CARES!

I know that it doesn't mean much that I am your mother

related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have

FILED UNDER: e-mail · martyr complex · Moms & Dads · Mother's Day · text message


95 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Liz

    I’m reminded of Kitty Forman from That ’70s Show.

    “This is your way of acting grown-up? Grown-ups don’t just leave the comfort of their parents’ home to…to move to a new city and start a life! I think this is nuts. Don’t you just think this is nuts? The whole thing is just…just nuts!”

    “Mom? I kinda think you’re the one who’s kind of being…”

    “Oh, if you say I’m nuts you’re going right through that sliding door.”

    May 10, 2009 at 5:06 pm   rating: 60  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Gunderson105

    There’s an elated baby goat day now???
    I hope I can find a card for that.

    May 10, 2009 at 5:27 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Grimfool_Reluctant

    We need to get this mom together with the kid on the bus going to Michaels. I’ll have you know they would make a wonderful texting duet.

    May 10, 2009 at 5:50 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   KatieMB

      PAN squared!

      May 10, 2009 at 6:07 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   park rose

      Once we get the nanny, the goat, the horse and the mule involved, who knows where we’ll end up.
      Maybe at number 5 (don’t forget the Vicodin) – thanks Dory and TOS.

      May 10, 2009 at 6:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   TheOldSchool

      This lady’s needs for the perfect mother’s day party:

      Soft walls,
      Paper slippers.
      Vicodin tabs with Nyquil chasers, and
      BOB, her “battery-operated boyfriend.”

      Ladies, please start your engines. Let the whirring begin….

      May 10, 2009 at 7:31 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   park rose bang

      @ Grim, 3.

      Dueling PANgoes.

      May 11, 2009 at 10:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   KatieMB

    I love the complete perfection and simplicity of this PAN – it needs to be nominated for the PAN HOF (Hall of Fame) as well as be included in the “PAN How-To Guide.”

    May 10, 2009 at 6:01 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Bunnee

      I know! Especially the second one. It made MY stomach hurt just reading it, and she’s not even my mother! (but she is one helluva run-on sentence writer…)

      May 11, 2009 at 11:34 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Dory

    @Gunderson: Thanks, now I have this vision of ecstatic goats frolicking about the countryside, all happy and hopped up on Vicodin.

    May 10, 2009 at 6:06 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Canthz_B bang

      You don’t have to do the “@” thing here.
      You can click on the “reply to this comment”/”add to this thread” link.
      We affectionately call it “Gigglebraxing © 2007

      Happy PANing! :-)

      May 10, 2009 at 6:52 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   cheeky

      In the spirit of PAN, could you please re-write your advice, but this time add at least two of the following:
      coloured highlighter
      sketch of a penis
      clip art
      etc.

      you should know the deal by now.

      May 11, 2009 at 5:12 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   KatieMB

    PAN? Ur doin it pretty well, acktually.

    May 10, 2009 at 6:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    …because I’d be very disappointed if you were living other people’s lives.

    Love,
    Mom

    May 10, 2009 at 6:17 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   ClearlyDemented

    *REPLY*

    Happy You-Need-Therapy Day!

    P.S. Buy a dog.

    May 10, 2009 at 6:17 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   KatieMB

      Or go to Michael’s – lots of hobby ideas there!

      May 10, 2009 at 7:04 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   park rose

    Kids, you need to tell ur mom that that she forwarded you from her inbox a long time ago.
    Of course that is kind of mom’s point.

    May 10, 2009 at 6:19 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Canthz_B bang

      Damned edits! :-P

      May 10, 2009 at 6:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   ClearlyDemented

    I’m sure the mother was a disappointment as well, as her mom didn’t want her to be a self-centered, controlling, crazy woman who procreates in order to have friends.

    May 10, 2009 at 6:21 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    Mom thinks she’s God, giving life so magnanimously, all by herself.
    It looks like a bleak Father’s Day for Dad, who had nothing to do with giving his children life as far as Mom is concerned.

    May 10, 2009 at 6:22 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Kate

    Ah, mothers. When I told my mom I hadn’t sent her a present, she went off on a “I am a martyr how dare you!” rant until I followed it up with the second half of my sentence, “…..but I’ll bring it when I visit in June.”

    At which time she said, “You don’t have any money, don’t get me anything. I’ll return it.”

    Moms are special snowflakes.

    May 10, 2009 at 6:24 pm   rating: 79  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   mamason bang

      Sounds like mom is a special crazyflake.

      May 11, 2009 at 12:37 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   aaa

      What, so she’ll return it so she gets the money/store credit? Nice.

      P.S. Am I the only human/robot in the history of ever that doesn’t have fucked up parents? Not that I’m complaining or anything. >.>

      May 11, 2009 at 1:33 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Some moms are just special cornflakes, with or without nuts.

      The view of the f***ed up parent is so that the young will have the desire to leave and begin their own life.
      Do you live on your own?

      May 11, 2009 at 11:52 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   VentureSister

      aaa, you’re not the only one. My parents were great. I moved out at 19 because I wanted to. Sometimes people have perfectly normal and loving parents and grow up to lead normal lives. I just try to pay it forward.

      May 11, 2009 at 11:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   unholyghost2003 bang

      No. Really? Tell me more of this magical land where parents are not beasts made of PA … I always have the best dreams when you tell me that story!

      May 11, 2009 at 11:14 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.6   TheOldSchool

      Same thing for me, but it happens after I eat chicken teriyaki.

      Crazy dreams. Like I’m snowboarding without a snowboard through cities I’ve never seen.

      May 12, 2009 at 12:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    Thanks for the company, Mom.
    Having you constantly living vicariously through us has been a complete joy to us.
    Our only regret is that our umbilical cords were cut at birth.

    Love,
    Your tickets to immortality

    May 10, 2009 at 6:46 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Act

      Do we have the same mother, or is this a common thing? -.- I’m pretty sure my mom has yet to realize we’re two seperate people…

      EDIT: This is assuming your comment is from experience. The bitterness seems to imply it is xD

      May 10, 2009 at 7:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Canthz_B bang

      My Mom’s cool…this is the internet. It’s not real. ;-)

      May 10, 2009 at 9:27 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   ginger

      Wow, I am going to get that put on a t-shirt.

      Jun 24, 2009 at 2:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   ClearlyDemented

    This has now replaced the old #1 in my list of reasons I’m glad I’m a Gentile. Sorry, ‘I couldn’t take Mel Gibson thinking badly of me’, you’ve been demoted.

    May 10, 2009 at 7:08 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   TheOldSchool

    Happy Mother’s Day, you silly old Moo.

    The Restraining Orders are still in effect. Now piss off!

    From: Your 4 Fuck Trophies

    May 10, 2009 at 7:16 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   TheOldSchool

    Not uncoincidentally, the four states (where the daughters live) all have names that begin with the letter, “R.”

    Repugnance, Repulsion, Reprobation, and Revulsion.

    May 10, 2009 at 7:45 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Will

    Man, I feel for Stephen. That’s a mom who knows how to lay down a guilt trip.

    May 10, 2009 at 8:11 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Resident Grammarian esq bang

    I think she should have accepted the phone call to make vague, bitter sounding remarks to make him as uncomfortale as possible. Then she should have mass texted them. The text could also have better, make up a story about backpain, the children should end up feeling guilty, not relieved that they got away.

    May 10, 2009 at 8:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Wade bang

    mom no està disponsible per al xat

    translation:

    mom is not available for xanthippic, aggrieved tirade

    May 10, 2009 at 9:28 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Carol

    Yeah, these moms are quite over bearing, but be happy your mom is still on the face of this earth. My mom passed almost 2 years ago and I would give anything to have her play a guilt trip on me. My mom wasn’t over bearing, but I’ll take over bearing over passed away anytime.

    May 10, 2009 at 10:00 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Canthz_B bang

      Thanks for contributing some mirth. :-|

      Talk about laying on a guilt trip…excuse me, but…you’d be better off sharing that with your therapist.

      May 10, 2009 at 10:07 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Now, now, CB . . . the first few Mother’s Day without a live mama are kinda brutal for the children. Been there, done that . . . it gets better.

      Besides, I thought this site WAS my therapist????

      May 10, 2009 at 10:23 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   Canthz_B bang

      Hey, I lost my wife (a mother), I try not to bring you guys down with that.

      That’s all I’m saying.

      Sorry for your loss, Carol…but not here, OK?

      May 10, 2009 at 10:27 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   G

      And there I was thinking about how glad I am that I don’t have to deal with my mother anymore.

      She’s not dead, she’s just a bitch. I’ll be even more relived when she gets around to the death thing.

      May 10, 2009 at 11:50 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   Carol

      Sorry if it offended you, but you didn’t have to be so rude and I will continue to post my opinion if I want to.

      May 11, 2009 at 7:34 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   unholyghost2003 bang

      Never mind. Never post w/o thinking kids!
      and THAT is a lesson you can take to the bank!

      May 11, 2009 at 8:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.7   Canthz_B bang

      You’re absolutely right, Carol.
      From now on, when anyone makes a spouse joke, I’ll brow-beat them about how I wish my wife weren’t dead and how they should just be glad their spouse is alive.

      Yes, that sounds like a plan. :roll:

      May 11, 2009 at 9:28 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.8   Carol

      You know what, I made a comment and you took it way out of context. The point was yes mom’s can be a pain, but appreciate the fact that you have one that loves you and wants to be there for you. I don’t need the sarcastic rude comments. I am sorry you lost your wife.

      May 11, 2009 at 9:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.9   Canthz_B bang

      Who needs you to tell us that?

      Was anyone here seriously saying that they don’t love and appreciate their mothers?

      Rhetorical questions.

      May 11, 2009 at 9:40 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.10   unholyghost2003 bang

      Carol,
      So your comment was intended to be HUMOROUS? As would be appropriate for this HUMOR blog? And all the other folks who also lost their mothers and were on here looking for a chuckle and maybe even to remember the down side to having a living mother on what is a TOUGH day for children w/o mothers and mothers who lost children … well they all just didn’t get the joke?

      I am very very sorry for you and your loss which is still clearly bringing you a lot of pain … but a comment like that is as appropriate as a clown at a funeral.

      May 11, 2009 at 9:41 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.11   Canthz_B bang

      I am so booking a clown when my mom passes!!!! :lol:

      May 11, 2009 at 9:47 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.12   unholyghost2003 bang

      Dude, let me know. I am the Circus girl .. I have the hook up ;)

      May 11, 2009 at 9:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.13   TheOldSchool

      Um…uhg…. Clowns die, too, you know. They may have trick caskets (i.e., speakers that play banging noises once the casket is closed; bottoms that will instantly spring the diseased into a sitting position halfway thru the open casket memorial service; even false bottomed caskets so the corpse falls out while being carried by pall-bearers), but they’re still just as dead as Carol’s mom.

      (Carol, if it’s any comfort to you, please know that I miss her probably even more than you do. Wow! Was she something!? She talked of you often, and not always in that grumbling, muttering voice. I’d just turn up the Barry White, and that would be the end of that.)

      May 11, 2009 at 9:57 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.14   Canthz_B bang

      Uhg, I could use the discount…It usually takes awhile to get your hands on the lovely life insurance payout, and I may be strapped for cash at a time like that!

      May 11, 2009 at 9:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.15   TheOldSchool

      I may not have LOVED Carol’s mom, but I certainly made like I did. She was a feisty one.

      May 11, 2009 at 10:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.16   unholyghost2003 bang

      TheOldSchool,
      I KNOW Clowns die too. My hometown is known for its circus. Many of my close family friends have been clowns that have passed. So yeah, while they are not always funny and that “bucket of confetti” bit gets old … all of you should be GLAD for the living clowns you have in your life!

      May 11, 2009 at 10:02 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.17   Carol

      You guys are seriously fucked up people.

      May 11, 2009 at 10:05 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.18   Lauren

      OK, you guys were funny at first, but I think you pushed too much. Leave her alone.

      May 11, 2009 at 10:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.19   Canthz_B bang

      I tried to tell you nicely…this is not the place to look for sympathy.

      *shrugs shoulders*

      Cheese it, the thread police have arrived!

      May 11, 2009 at 10:09 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.20   Carol

      I don’t want your sympathy, the comments were not necessary.

      May 11, 2009 at 10:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.21   unholyghost2003 bang

      To be perfectly honest … I have been to a clown funeral. Just an FYI. While said in a HUMOROUS manner … what I said was true.

      Sorry if it offended you, but you didn’t have to be so rude and I will continue to post my opinion if I want to.

      May 11, 2009 at 10:11 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.22   Canthz_B bang

      The comments were very necessary…it’s what we do here. ;-)

      And, since I know that you know that we all love our mothers, you were clearly looking for sympathy by telling us that you had lost yours, under the guise of counseling us.
      Yes, you were that transparent.

      May 11, 2009 at 10:14 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.23   TheOldSchool

      Uhg, I come from a long line of contortionists (on my father’s side). My great-grandmother moved all 14 of her children from Texas to Seattle just to get away from her gamblin’, cheatin,’ womanizin,’ no-good-skunk of a contortionist husband. She fit all 14 kids into two suitcases.

      My great grandma always said, she didn’t know if they were going to be contortionists when she left Texas, but by the time they arrived in Seattle, they sure as hell were.

      What a colorful band of twisted scamps they were. Family reunions were literally like a freak show.

      Not every child experiences the shock and delight of seeing his grandmother bend over backwards, without touching the ground, and stick her head all the way between her legs so that she was looking at you the same way she was before, only from a lower position. She could even stay that way for a long time. Knitting and chatting about this and that. Nice lady.

      May 11, 2009 at 10:16 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.24   TheOldSchool

      Lauren, do you practice yoga? If not, would you like to learn? If so, can you teach me?

      May 11, 2009 at 10:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.25   TheOldSchool

      Carol,

      FINALLY! Someone agrees with something I’ve been saying all along. THESE people are seriously fucked up.

      If you have any comments you’d like to add to my report, just click on the smiling egg avatar and that will take you to my official e-mail address. Submit your succinctly worded commentary to me and I’ll see if I can use them in my concluding remarks.

      Needless to say, the report is going to open some eyes as to what is taking place here.

      May 11, 2009 at 10:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.26   Mark bang

      Dante – “I can’t believe you did that!”
      Randal – “What? I was just leaning on it.”
      Dante – “YOU KNOCKED THE CASKET OVER!”
      Randal – “So.”
      Dante – “HER FUCKING BODY FELL OUT!!!”
      Randal – “And? I put her back in. Besides, she’s dead. It’s not like it matters if she breaks anything.”

      May 12, 2009 at 11:23 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.27   Beth

      I’m sorry about your mother, but this comment of yours is guilt-tripping too.

      My father passed away a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean that every father in the world is perfect. Sometimes they do unpleasant things and their children are well within their rights to complain about that. In fact, and I realise this might sound offensive, some people are actually better off without their parents.

      May 13, 2009 at 5:51 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.28   Clumber bang

      Are there any comments that are EVER really necessary? I mean things i would deem necessary like, say, “GET OUT! YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE!” or say, “CALL 911! ” or “GET OUT OF THE WAY! THE DEAD CLOWN IS GOING TO BLOW!!!” are rarely referred to as comments…. right? Screams, warnings, loud advice maybe… but not comments.

      AND… ummm… since when are rude fucked-up prattles about one’s maternal unit ever considered out of style? Fuck, my gift to my maternal unit this year was not killing her with my angry bare hands after she treated my sister like shit on the Saturday before. ~shrug~ I think it counts as cul’cha here.

      May 13, 2009 at 9:17 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Grimfool_Reluctant

    I feel sorry for Stephen’s dad. “… and of course Dad would not remind you like I remind you when it is Father’s Day so you will send him something … ”
    It looks innocent there in text, but I’m sure every word was snipped off with spite scissors.
    Dad’s getting his share of the blame, too. Of course, Dads always do . . . “I get credit for pushing you out of my birth canal, but it’s THAT MAN’S fault for putting you up there in the first place.”
    At least Stephen is on a different continent, but Dad is well within reach of the rubber slippers.

    May 10, 2009 at 10:18 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Canthz_B bang

      Dad would be in real trouble, but for that Red Lobster coupon he keeps in his wallet (next to his hooker condom) for emergencies such as these!

      May 10, 2009 at 10:24 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Grimfool_Reluctant

      So THAT’S what Dad meant when he used to say he was going to slip Mom the ol’ lobster for her Mother’s Day gift. I always thought it was something dirty.

      But I don’t know, CB — that coupon is for popcorn shrimp, and I think Mom’s worked her way into a full TGIFriday’s kerfuffle! With the crispy-fried grudge appetizer.

      May 10, 2009 at 10:41 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   TheOldSchool

      Carrying around a condom, just in case he meets a hooker who needs to borrow one for one of her clients?

      That is so sweet and thoughtful. What a nice man.

      May 10, 2009 at 10:43 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   Grimfool_Reluctant

      He’d just better be sure to put on his reading glasses so that he doesn’t pull the condom out of his wallet instead of the coupon. Those spite scissors will be snipping the nether neighborhoods!

      May 10, 2009 at 11:01 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   TheOldSchool

      Or vice-versa. Coupons have notoriously poor prophylactic performance capabilities.

      May 11, 2009 at 12:46 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.6   Clumber bang

      Grim? I must disagree, I am afraid. That text didn’t look at all innocent to me… in fact it gave me a headache as I read it.. a familiar headache… oh yeah, same one I had Sunday…

      May 13, 2009 at 9:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   aaa

    Somehow, I don’t think Spain is far enough away for Stephen…

    May 10, 2009 at 11:15 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Logan

    My mom wrote on my birthday cake, “So glad I had to give birth to you so close to mother’s day. Those 27 hours of labour were easy” I hate when my birthday is on Mother’s day. If it’s the day before fine, but she has to comment on how long she was in labour for. Why oh why do I have to be born today!?

    May 10, 2009 at 11:21 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   TheOldSchool

      Twenty-seven hours….

      I know people who labor for 40 hours a WEEK!

      I don’t hear them complaining.

      (I’m sure they do it, but I’m always listening to my iPod, so I can tune it all out.)

      May 11, 2009 at 12:22 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Clumber bang

      Good Tunes? Care to share playlists?

      So far I can’t stop hearing the complaining… oh wait, those are the voices IN my head… fucktards…

      May 13, 2009 at 9:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Sarah

    heh. I’m glad my mum doesn’t believe in Hallmark holidays. Even so, there’s an 11-hour time difference between me and mum (she’ s 11 hour ahead). Even though I have bronchitis and am really ill I stayed up late on Saturday night to call mum around 9:30 her time on Sunday. But she didn’t answer the phone! When she called me the next day I told her and she said that she’d been home the whole time. Gah!

    May 11, 2009 at 2:01 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   TP

    It’s usually the moms that guilt you and accuse you of not caring that deserve mother’s day greetings the least.

    May 11, 2009 at 4:29 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   cat

    be entertained

    May 11, 2009 at 5:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Mishee

    That second email is why I took a half day on Friday, drove up 2 hours to surprise my mother at home by the time she got off work, and then waited all day alone on Saturday* while her and my step-dad went to a baseball game just to be able to spend Mother’s Day with her.

    *ok, that wasn’t much of a sacrifice. It was my vacation too, dammit!

    May 11, 2009 at 10:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   park rose

    One can understand now why Stephen (who has 2 sisters) penned:
    From the ice-age to the dole-age
    There is but one concern
    I have just discovered :

    Some girls are bitchier than others
    Some girls are bitchier than others
    Some girl’s mothers are bitchier than
    Other girl’s mothers

    When his mother discovered this little love letter, she responded with a text that said:

    Sleep on n dream of Luv
    Coz it’s th closest u will
    Get 2 luv
    Pr twisted child
    So ugly, so ugly
    Pr twisted child
    O hug me, o hug me
    1 Nov
    Spwned a monsta
    In the shape of this child

    The sins of the mother are indeed visited upon the child.

    May 11, 2009 at 12:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   DearJane

    Why do I get the mental image that after this mother posted this text that she was clutching a daggar and started launching into Juliet’s soliliquy while watching the little “message sending” icon flash on her cell phone….

    May 11, 2009 at 3:57 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Vic

    Nice.
    You should wish your mother Happy Mother’s Day while you can. There will be a day that you can’t.

    May 11, 2009 at 4:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Jerad

      That day was yesterday for me. She was in an area with no cell reception.

      May 11, 2009 at 10:12 pm   rating: 49  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   unholyghost2003 bang

      Jerad,
      I would thumb you more if I could.

      May 11, 2009 at 10:31 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   TheOldSchool

      Jerad,

      My mom was in a cell with no area reception.

      I’ll leave the thumbing to Uhg, though, if you don’t mind. (I only have so much Purell, so I have to be careful rationing where and into whom I stick my digits.)

      May 11, 2009 at 10:47 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   Clumber bang

      I hereby submit the motion that all thumb ratings in 30.xx count as thumbs for Jerad.

      May 13, 2009 at 9:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   LOLLY

    Can you say borderline personality disorder? Oh my yes.

    May 27, 2009 at 6:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   ginger

      Tru dat – or NPD…

      Jun 24, 2009 at 2:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Daughter

    This reminds me of when my mother called me two days after her birthday to say “I just checked the post mark on the card you sent me and it says 17:15 on the date of my birthday”. She added some more PA payback on my birthday a few days later when she called to make sure that I had received my card on time.
    Crazy guilt-trip attempting mother.

    May 29, 2009 at 11:16 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Brian X

    There seem to be people here who don’t understand that sharing half of someone’s DNA does not require that you put up with their emotionally abusive, mock-obsequious dipshittery…

    Jun 20, 2009 at 6:56 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Sara

    Wow, something very similar happened to me. I live a few states away from my parents but called and had lengthy conversations with them on their respective days. Yesterday my mother emailed me an ESSAY on how I obviously don’t love them because I didn’t send them a card and presents.

    Jun 25, 2009 at 11:56 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Happy F’ing Mother’s Day! | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

    [...] Thanks, Mom, for reminding me why I moved out in the first place. [...]

    May 9, 2010 at 6:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Not to worry, I’m alive. Not that you’d care. I’m only your mother! | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Thanks, Mom, for reminding me why I moved out in the first place. [...]

    Oct 4, 2010 at 10:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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