D in Sunderland, Mass. received a piece of her previous manager’s mail several months after he was fired.
“I felt it was only right to contact him about a membership directory for an organization with which he was heavily involved,” she says. “I was genuinely shocked to receive his reply, especially considering how careful he was to never put anything in print that could possibly damage his reputation as ‘an internationally published poet.’”
![Hi [redacted], Your NEIBA Membership directory arrived at the store today. (I got your email from the listing. Would you like to come pick it up, or should I recycle it. John says you are working on a play. I hope it comes out well. Please let me know if it is performed in the area - I would like to see it. Have a great day!](https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3602/3525527986_31fbb178a3.jpg "Hi [redacted], Your NEIBA Membership directory arrived at the store today. (I got your email from the listing. Would you like to come pick it up, or should I recycle it. John says you are working on a play. I hope it comes out well. Please let me know if it is performed in the area - I would like to see it. Have a great day!")
Hi [redacted], Your NEIBA Membership directory arrived at the store today. (I got your email from the listing.) Would you like to come pick it up, or should I recycle it. John says you are working on a play. I hope it comes out well. Please let me know if it is performed in the area – I would like to see it. Have a great day!
Please recycle the directory. A copy of the directory was mailed to me at my home address. Also, please do not contact me again. You are certainly not my friend, my colleague, or even an old acquaintance. Thank you for refraining from making any further contact with me.
related: awkward cake
300 responses so far ↓
#1
Canthz_B
Translation: Fuck you, and the horse you rode in on!
May 12, 2009 at 9:22 am rating: 90
#2
you suck at craigslist
The play is called, “Screw you guys, I’m going home.”
May 12, 2009 at 9:26 am rating: 90
#3
Listy
I don’t know if anyone is having the same problem, but the second picture isn’t displaying… it’s just a note from flickr about how it’s “currently unavailable.”
May 12, 2009 at 9:26 am rating: 90
#4
Mishee™
Well, someone’s a little butt hurt.
Geez W – Didn’t your mother tell you that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all?
May 12, 2009 at 9:27 am rating: 90
#5
Mishee™
So, W doesn’t want to talk to D anymore, but yet John still speaks with him regularly?
I sense favoritism afoot.
May 12, 2009 at 9:29 am rating: 90
#6
Mishee™
A letter to the Editor that was printed in Playboy an “internationally published poet” does not make.
May 12, 2009 at 9:31 am rating: 90
#7
Woman on the Verge
I speak poet. Here is the translation:
Asshat,
Shove the directory up your ass. I have my own personal copy nyah nyah nyah. You are dead to me. I hope you choke.
Love,
Bestest Poet Ever
May 12, 2009 at 9:36 am rating: 90
#8
The Riel One
Ouch! This is one of those awkward situations and yeh the ending had a bite to it.
Sounds to me like “W” is still hurting from the firing.
May 12, 2009 at 9:37 am rating: 90
#9
The Devil's Daughter-In-Law
Obviously, the only logical thing to do is to circulate this email, including full name and address of the poet, on the internet, and possibly create an entire blog devoted to hatred of said poet.
May 12, 2009 at 10:00 am rating: 90
#10
Kimberly
I can’t believe she told him to have a great day. What a bitch.
May 12, 2009 at 10:04 am rating: 90
#11
G
Wait, that’s *out* of character for someone who considers himself a poet?
I thought moody, grouchy, and irritable came with the territory.
May 12, 2009 at 10:14 am rating: 90
#12
much to my chagrin
At least she doesn’t still have to see this guy on a daily basis. One time a boss of mine was fired (or forced to “quit”) for incompetence at a residential facility where I used to work. He responded by outing our executive director as an alcoholic in an 8 page rambling e-mail he sent to all the staff. He was still allowed to live there for a couple of months until he got a new place, but it was incredibly awkward to act as though nothing happened after his “fuck off” e-mail.
May 12, 2009 at 10:20 am rating: 90
#13
jb
what a classy guy
May 12, 2009 at 10:21 am rating: 90
#14
MeToo
I would respond, just to piss him off more!
Maybe send him a picture of the directory sitting in the recycling bin, and a note that says, “Just wanted you to rest assured that we properly disposed of the directory, as per your wishes. Will send confirmation of recycling pickup on Wednesday. (I’m sure you remember that Wednesdays are pickup days.)”
May 12, 2009 at 10:28 am rating: 90
#15
much to my chagrin
Actually, I was afraid he would go all “Office Space” on us and set the building on fire. I wonder if The Poet has some kind of stapler or something he’s overly attached to?
May 12, 2009 at 10:31 am rating: 90
#16
Bernd das Brot
D was “genuinely shocked,” huh? She’s the one who inadvertently got him fired. D was just being D, always being “proactive” and doing what she considers to be “only right.” Like telling everyone about the wonderful play W was working on every day at the office together with his new, extremely good looking assistant…
May 12, 2009 at 10:38 am rating: 90
#17
Erin
“Wait, that’s *out* of character for someone who considers himself a poet?
I thought moody, grouchy, and irritable came with the territory.”
Some poets are nice people and some are ass-hats, but the jerky poets think they are artistically justified in their ass-hattery.
May 12, 2009 at 10:43 am rating: 90
#18
T to the O
“My Name is Poet Angus McWordenstien. I wear turtlenecks and capes, black of course. I am prone to spewing scathing vitrolic abuse on hapless bystanders and substance abuse. I will die friendless and destitute because no one could understand the depth of my brilliance!”
Please recycle my Angsty Pillow Biters Assn. directory I had one forwarded to my home address.
Fuck you,
Angus McWordenstien
May 12, 2009 at 10:51 am rating: 90
#19
unholyghost2003
But but but “an old acquaintance” is EXACTLY what she is.
May 12, 2009 at 11:17 am rating: 90
#20
ScottR
I think he should have ended it with…
“you are dead to me!”
May 12, 2009 at 11:31 am rating: 90
#21
QuarterRoy00
I think the submission of W’s email address to a large number of mass email lists is in order. The more perverted the better.
May 12, 2009 at 12:23 pm rating: 90
#22
MeToo
“But please let Bob in Accounting know that he can (and should) call me anytime.”
May 12, 2009 at 12:23 pm rating: 90
#23
Dave Rattigan
Heh. I think it’s the first email that belongs here, not the second.
With a sentence like “considering how careful he was to never put anything in print that could possibly damage his reputation as an internationally published poet,” D clearly resented him somewhat already.
Why would someone who’s been fired want a company directory? And what would possess them to want to pick it up at the place they got fired from?
“Have a nice day!” is the icing on the cake.
I smell ulterior motives for D’s email, and more than a whiff of revenge in posting it on here, thereby risking his reputation as an “international poet”.
May 12, 2009 at 12:24 pm rating: 90
#24
Meesh
So this guy is an internationally published poet AND a member of the New England Independent Booksellers Association? What an insufferable prick he must be at cocktail parties.
May 12, 2009 at 12:24 pm rating: 90
#25
Laua
Whatever D’s involvement really was, two words for the poet: More fiber.
May 12, 2009 at 12:29 pm rating: 90
#26
Phalange
At least he’s a member of NEIBA and not NAMBLA…
May 12, 2009 at 1:11 pm rating: 90
#27
TheOldSchool
The vacuity of D’s mind is exposed in her comment: “i was genuinely shocked to receive his reply, especially considering how careful he was to never put anything in print that could possibly damage his reputation as ‘an internationally published poet.’”
D, I think the poet chose his words carefully in his reply to you.
What’s more, I’m certain that telling a faux-innocent, duplicitous ingenue, like you, to piss off could never harm a person’s reputation.
Maybe your act played well at your sorority, but in the grown-up world the fact that you’re acting is all-too transparent.
May 12, 2009 at 1:39 pm rating: 90
#28
m
ah, email.
May 12, 2009 at 2:01 pm rating: 90
#29
mamason
I wonder if they’re still “friends” on facebook?
May 12, 2009 at 2:38 pm rating: 90
#30
ClearlyDemented
I can just see W pacing his mother’s basement with his footy pajamas and sleep cap on, his first day back from the ‘behavioral center’.
May 12, 2009 at 2:47 pm rating: 90
#31
Deanna
I don’t think there’s anything “passive” about that e-mail…. lol. I guess we know who he blames for his firing!
May 12, 2009 at 3:52 pm rating: 90
#32
Susannie
I don’t know… Something makes me think this isn’t the first email W has received from D. “Please do not contact me AGAIN” and “Refrain from making any FURTHER contact with me” seems to indicate numerous emails. But I could be wrong. Perhaps W is just a snippy writer.
And also. I might have been too much on this site, but I think the first email has some passive-aggressivness to it. If D had some doubts about his reputation as “an internationally published poet” wouldn’t her suggestion to see a non-exsistant play be a wonderfulle subtle insult?
Have a great day! (See! You think I’m p-a now :D)
May 12, 2009 at 4:10 pm rating: 90
#33
Zhopka
People, people… An essential moment has been overlooked… Mr Bitter added a CC (carbon copy) to his email response. That’s where the answer is hidden. Who was cc’ed? And why? Poor ol’ D is probably just a pawn in an old, old war…
May 12, 2009 at 4:15 pm rating: 90
#34
bigyaz
Aggressive, yes. But passive? I think he told her quite directly exactly what he thinks of her.
My guess is she’s pretty clueless if she had never picked up on that before.
May 12, 2009 at 6:00 pm rating: 90
#35
longtimelurkersuddenposter
What’s up with all these blandly named, one initial only, or full name given, first time poster, long time lurker entries? Maybe W’s playing us all for a fool, and his play is actually a post -graduate project on action and reaction on the Net. How to Create a Ruckus, or Kerfuffle -The Play. Maybe D’s rallied the HR forces to rush to her honor. Either way, something’s rotten in the state of D & W.
May 12, 2009 at 7:38 pm rating: 90
#36
Eric
“Can I have fifty pounds to mend the shed?
I’m right on my uppers.
I can pay you back
When this postal order comes from Australia.
Honestly.
Hope the bladder trouble’s getting better.
Love, Ewan.”
May 12, 2009 at 8:39 pm rating: 90
#37
ian in hamburg
Why is this passive-aggressive? It clearly points out to the person receiving it not to contact him. There is no innuendo, snide remark, nothing.
Also, if D played a role in his getting fired as she says she did, why should she be shocked at his response?
May 13, 2009 at 1:54 am rating: 90
#38
Canthz_B
Great, the spam filter won’t let me edit my misspellings. Thanks, WP!
May 13, 2009 at 3:12 am rating: 90
#39
Matt
I’m really confused right now… I take it Diane is the aforementioned ‘D’ from Sunderland.
Is there a gang of people who comment on here who know each other IRL or something?
May 13, 2009 at 7:41 am rating: 90
#40
Diane
Shit, now you guys are making me feel bad. I give- W is a saint, and I’m a bitch. I never saw that coming….
May 13, 2009 at 8:26 am rating: 90
#41
Sirius
I come here for my daily dose of laughter, and to practice my ass-hat skills, but every once in a while, I come away with a life lesson. Today’s lesson: I don’t think I will ever fuck with Diane.
May 13, 2009 at 10:42 am rating: 90
#42
Zhopka
Whoa. I didn’t see this coming. You guys (who understood the situation right away) are brilliant, while I am naive at best. Diane turns out to sport a level of c*ntiness beyond imagination. Diane, if you actually admit reporting the man to a boss, and if you generally hate him as much as you seem to hate him (based on all your little pricky comments all over the place), why on EARTH would you contact him about a stupid catalogue, wish him a great day, and, worst of all, fake interest in his play? That’s an 11 on my 10-point scale of bitchiness. I don’t buy your little “but I didn’t make him a bad worker” excuse. When you report someone and they lose a job, objectivity doesn’t matter one bit – just stay out of their face forever. Given the situation, I am frankly amazed the man responded anything at all. Somehow I hope all your little games come back at you one day. Objectivity excluded.
May 13, 2009 at 11:57 am rating: 90
#43
Nix
Diane,
Please note that I am not writing this in the spirit of snark – merely I recognize something of my younger self in your comments.
I hate to break it to you, but unless you win the lottery or become suddenly, independently wealthy in your youth, you are going to be in the workforce with the rest of us until you are an old woman. Both scenarios are only if you are extremely lucky, as evidenced with the current state of the global economy.
You are going to deal with a LOT of bad bosses during this time. Some may even make this guy look like Captain Congeniality. If you are one of the fortunate (or unfortunate, some would argue) self-employed, you are still going to have contact with difficult people, be they clients or employees. Not many people are paid to be hermits with no contact with the outside world. In short, you are always going to have to answer to someone else. It’s a sad fact, but true.
Your measure of success during your long years in corporate servitude will not be found only in the amount of money you make and the promotions you secure for yourself, but in your ability to work well with difficult people and your ability to exercise democracy in the face of aggression and rudeness. You won’t be able to get everyone you disagree with fired – and I’m not saying you want to do that, but I get the feeling you are just starting out in your career, so just a word to the wise. Better to learn now. Start practicing that diplomacy while you are young, and you will make yourself indispensable to employers in the future!
I am not saying this guy didn’t deserve to be fired or not. I wasn’t there, but his email was certainly entertaining enough. But I can see from the defensiveness of your responses that you haven’t let this go by a long shot. It casts you in a light of entitlement and vindictiveness – and those are not characteristics that employers are going to be searching for.
Contacting a person that has been fired (for whatever reason) due to something you indirectly or directly did is not exercising good judgment – it’s akin to rubbing salt in a wound.
In short, you may have won the battle, but you’re just beginning the war! Welcome to the rat race.
FWIW,
Nix
May 13, 2009 at 5:59 pm rating: 90
#44
aaa
Is “internationally published poet” code for “I post my stuff on the internet and I got my parents to look at it”?
May 13, 2009 at 6:30 pm rating: 90
#45
Jame
Guy sounds like a complete a-hole. TEAM DIANE!
May 14, 2009 at 7:36 am rating: 90
#46
Jow
MATE! How do his poems go? I really want to know.
May 14, 2009 at 11:02 am rating: 90
#47
Obi Wan
I know it’s kinda late in the game to point this out, but wouldn’t it have made more sense just to forward it through the mail?
May 14, 2009 at 6:04 pm rating: 90
#48
Olivia
Steps 1, 2, 3 would be too easy…how about another South Park moment?
“I’m not your friend, buddy!”
“I’m not your buddy, pal!”
“I’m not your pal, friend!”
May 15, 2009 at 11:16 pm rating: 90
#49
Sara Pickell
I know this may be very, very late.
However, I think it may be wrong to see this as his reaction to the content of her e-mail. Rather, it would be more along the lines of getting an e-mail in your personal inbox from someone whom you not only never gave your e-mail to, but whom you personally hate. My primary concern would be making certain that they never, ever, sent me another e-mail again regardless of the contents they sent in that particular e-mail.
When seen from that view, the response actually makes quite a lot of sense.
May 27, 2009 at 8:52 am rating: 90
#50
bcteagirl
Are we never going to find out who was CC’d? Sigh…
May 30, 2009 at 3:21 am rating: 90
#51
Dork um Dirk
Ok, just want to confirm that this person is easily googlable through information in this thread, and that his poetry is fake-Zen old-school Wapanese shite.
/burn all records/
/admit to nothing/
Jun 30, 2009 at 11:03 pm rating: 90
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