FILED UNDER: Boston · office · unnecessary "quotation marks" · water · you know who you are
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155 responses so far ↓
#1
I suck
You should see the amount of pink lipstick under my spout
May 13, 2009 at 9:04 am rating: 90
#2
famine
Is it still considered cool to be first?
May 13, 2009 at 9:04 am rating: 90
#3
Woman on the Verge
Why is the word pink in quotation marks? Was it really pink or was it red? Coral? Passionfruit?
May 13, 2009 at 9:09 am rating: 90
#4
unholyghost2003
Really! Have some thought for others. Here at Poppy Z Brite publishing we do not appreciate PINK lipstick on our staff.
May 13, 2009 at 9:09 am rating: 90
#5
Woman on the Verge
Why does this evoke images of secretaries gathered around the cooler taking turns placing their heads under the spout while the others chant “Drink! Drink! Drink!”?
May 13, 2009 at 9:10 am rating: 90
#6
Tigli
Ewwwww… who puts their mouth on the office water cooler? Is this some sort of double entendre that I’m not getting?
May 13, 2009 at 9:11 am rating: 90
#7
CS harmonikah
Are they suggesting that someone is drinking out of the water cooler like a sippy cup?
Who does that? Are they a fucking gerbil? That should be one of the things that results in an automatic termination in the workplace.
May 13, 2009 at 9:11 am rating: 90
#8
QuarterRoy00
The after work BJ class really needs to start cleaning up after themselves.
May 13, 2009 at 9:24 am rating: 90
#9
QuarterRoy00
It’s all “pink” on the inside…or so I’ve been told…
May 13, 2009 at 9:26 am rating: 90
#10
elli
Had the same problem at another office I worked at. It’s because ladies drink out of water bottles and get lipstick on the mouth of the bottle, and then stick the mouth of the bottle onto the spigot to refill it. Thanks for spreading your germs to all the rest of us! You’re the best!
May 13, 2009 at 9:28 am rating: 90
#11
Mishee™
Who in the hell wears pink lipstick anymore anyways?
When did we jump back to 1984? Did I miss it? Was I sleeping?
May 13, 2009 at 9:33 am rating: 90
#12
Bernd das Brot
Would red or purple be OK?
May 13, 2009 at 9:37 am rating: 90
#13
MeToo
*cowers in the corner and wipes lips shamefully*
May 13, 2009 at 9:55 am rating: 90
#14
Grimfool_Reluctant
“You know who you are.”
Really? Does anyone truly know who they are? The human race has spent several centuries in a quest for the exploration of self, all to no avail, and in today’s troubled and techno-tuned age, the goal of self-discovery seems ever and ever father away. Do we, collectively, know who we are? Do I, individually, know who I am?
That’s a question I ask myself as I apply pink lipstick to my anus and then wash it off using the office water cooler. I think I’m beginning to find myself, but I’m still a long way from knowing who I am.
May 13, 2009 at 10:03 am rating: 90
#15
DearJane
At least they’re pink stains and not brown stains. Nothing ruins your thirst like someone using the water cooler for a mid-morning enema…
May 13, 2009 at 10:55 am rating: 90
#16
dsnacks
The lipstick was…well let’s just say – “pink”
May 13, 2009 at 11:12 am rating: 90
#17
rosmerta
In related news, check out this office fridge that was definitely in need of a PAN.
May 13, 2009 at 11:23 am rating: 90
#18
claw71
I hate to correct you but that’s not lipstick. Give it a taste. Go on, just a little lick. See what I mean? Yeah, it is cinnamon. Doc Johnson’s Hot Spicy Cinnamon Anal Lube, to be precise. Well they call it Joy Jelly these days, but I bought a big case of the stuff from a warehouse in Canada a few years ago. Why is it on the spigot? Well, you try wrapping your anus around that spout without a little lube.
May 13, 2009 at 11:40 am rating: 90
#19
claw71
Ladies and gentlemen: Ice T!
Yo ez, let’s do this.
I am a csr talkin’
water cooler stalkin’
cross-dressing homo
with your boyfriend gawkin’
livin’ life for the weekend
thong panties I choose
hanging out with republicans because they buy booze
my balls are blue cuz the blood
is cut by the bender
and the way it’s rubbin’
makes my taint feel tender
A girl in Boston, who’s really a guy
Just say “Hi”
Color
You don’t know me, fool
Post a note for me, cool
I don’t need all your bitchin
note writing quippin
when I get thirsty I just stick my lips in
My shade is violet, but violet on white
looks kind if pink if you squint just right
It’s my color, it’s on me, it’s my color ya’ll
when I’m wearing my color my lips are their all
So get mad when I’m thirsty, because I don’t use a cup
but I don’t like to do dishes because my nails are buffed
My herpes ain’t back
the meds are on track
don’t throw a big fit because a fit is whack
Why does it have to be, such mass insanity
then some punk leaves a note cause he’s mad it me?
give me a break, it’s just a little lip gloss
grab a paper towel and wipe the smear off.
color.
May 13, 2009 at 12:00 pm rating: 90
#20
ryanmalloy
There is a second meaning to the note:
“Please refrain from removing our “pink” lipstick from the water cooler. I can’t believe you did that. It took us ages to apply it.”
May 13, 2009 at 12:37 pm rating: 90
#21
Christine
Well at least apparently every body else “knows who you are!”
Unless of course the whole office is full of pink-lipped faucet-suckers.
May 13, 2009 at 12:45 pm rating: 90
#22
nick
Did anybody mention that calcium deposits look pink? Maybe it’s not lipstick…
May 13, 2009 at 12:37 pm rating: 90
#23
Diane
Considerate office workers leave the lipstick for the next user.
May 13, 2009 at 2:32 pm rating: 90
#24
secondsout
This was almost the same PAN as a one from quite a long time ago, placed by the Office of Water Remember.
I’m still proud of my “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” spoof.
May 13, 2009 at 2:55 pm rating: 90
#25
aaa
The whole “You know who you are!” thing always reminds me of that episode of King of the Hill where Peggy has to sub for sex ed. “You don’t know who I am, but I know where you live!”
May 13, 2009 at 6:43 pm rating: 90
#26
ere
josh’s office has a different, but equally gross, problem.
That substance is more likely to be mold than pink lipstick.
Think of the type that you may have seen it lurking in mildew-y bathrooms.
May 13, 2009 at 9:12 pm rating: 90
#27
TheOldSchool
It’s all too obvious what has happened.
The office has been infested with tiny parasites called phorid flies.
They’ve attacked the workers, biting them in such a way that their phorid larva gets slipped surreptiously into the workers’ heads.
When the larva begins to hatch inside their skulls, the workers’ lips turn bright pink, and they get thirsty. After a few days, the larva begins eating their brains, eventually turning them into walking zombies.
In a month or so, their heads will fall off.
It’s sad, but that’s capitalism! (I’m surprised no one has mentioned this.)
May 13, 2009 at 9:44 pm rating: 90
#28
Pademelon
Ok, I couldn’t figure out how you would end up with a water cooler nozzle covered with lipstick (though I still am enjoying the image of office workers lining up at the water cooler to crouch down and drink like hamsters) so I was going back and forth between guessing is was a water fountain or a sink tap. The spout meaning either would be gross enough.
The explanation that it IS a water cooler and that women are putting enough lipstick on to facilitate bottle to cooler transference is absolutely revolting. If it was my office, I would be all over employees for that. I’m not normally a germaphobe or a hand sanitizer fanatic but you people who attempt to fill your water bottles without touching the nozzle are braver than I. I’d be using alcohol wipes to wipe down the nozzle and then I’d try to match the color(s) (if they are wearing that much, it shouldn’t be hard) and would leave the used wipes on the offenders desks. I wouldn’t care if I guessed wrong, I’d tell them if they don’t like it then they can do their part in calling the offenders on it.
I love my lip gloss and my chapstick but there is no excuse for that sort of disrespectful behavior. It’s hard enough to maintain moral working in an office without having to worry about transferring lipstick from multiple women with obviously low hygenic standards every time you want some water! Anyone who would leave lipstick on an office water cooler repeatedly clearly has a substandard level of care for themselves, since the sight of other women’s lipstick on the spout doesn’t stop them from jamming their own bottle up there, or others. Blech.
May 13, 2009 at 10:30 pm rating: 90
#29
raiseyourglass
NEWS FLASH:
Thats not pink lipstick, it’s MOLD! Your dead on #26. Now wouldn’t you rather it be lipstick?
May 13, 2009 at 11:00 pm rating: 90
#30
mamason
♪ The administrative assistant went to the water spout,
“Pink” was the shade to make a pretty pout.
Out came the lipstick and made a messy stain.
And the administrative assistant was sure to do it again. ♫
May 14, 2009 at 1:23 am rating: 90
#31
froudedude
Ha This is great because it is more than likely NOT lipstick but pink slime mold
May 15, 2009 at 8:46 am rating: 90
#32
Newsbunny
Kids, kids, kids. In Massachusetts, it is not a water COOLER.
It is a BUBBLER. Properly pronounced — BUBBLA.
Yours most sincerely,
A Red Sox fan living in NYC.
May 17, 2009 at 8:53 am rating: 90
#33
cim
I’m sorry, but I don’t understand what this means…
May 17, 2009 at 4:32 pm rating: 90
#34 paying through the spout
[...] related: so…the water cooler’s hosting rainbow parties again? [...]
May 26, 2009 at 9:09 am rating: 90
#35
Lauren
That pink is actually probably a type of mildew/mold that develops pretty commonly on water spouts. How any dickant could think it was lipstick is beyond me.
Jun 5, 2009 at 4:09 pm rating: 90
#36
mys
it’s not lipstick
it is a common bacteria that forms around sinks, spouts, and other places that have water and hand contact often.
http://edenprairieweblogs.org/scottneal/post/1338/
imagine how many people get blamed for this, simply for wearing lipstick.
Jun 9, 2009 at 6:45 pm rating: 90
#37
Missing Lunch
Now THAT’s an oral fixation.
Jun 29, 2009 at 10:58 am rating: 90
#38 Pomp and Circumvent | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] needs a water cooler? Nothing fosters “community” like shared networked printers! Need [...]
Mar 25, 2010 at 10:46 am rating: 90
#39 Hard times with hard water | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] So those yellow stains in the tub? Yeah, not urine. Just evidence of a bathtub in need of some serious scrubbing. (And those pink stains on the water cooler? Probably not lipstick.) [...]
Aug 8, 2010 at 7:29 pm rating: 90
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