Perfect for each other

May 14th, 2009 · 204 comments

I’m having a hard time deciding who in this group of geniuses most deserves a smack in the head first. To make it easier, I’m going to tell myself that Krystal is using some new kind of ironic dialect of homophone-swapping slang. And Jennalyn…well, her name is Jennalyn, and therefore I think it’s safe to assume she’s gotten the short end of the stick so far in life, so she gets a pass. But the other three?

you guys are great together

P.S. Notice the date! (tear)

related: Reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your facebook profile

FILED UNDER: breakup · ex drama · Facebook · kids today · oh no you didn't


204 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Listy

    I’m thinking Daniel deserves the smack in the head from Alicia, but maybe they should just stand in a circle and smack each other’s heads, just to be fair. And I guess Jennalyn can sit out, so she can “jus chill.”

    May 14, 2009 at 9:00 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   QuarterRoy00 bang

      Did I hear a call for a circle jerk? I love those!

      Oh wait you said circle smack…….and I was so excited…

      May 14, 2009 at 10:12 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Now everything fell like S###

      May 14, 2009 at 10:22 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   leftfoot

      that must be one nasty fall..

      May 14, 2009 at 10:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   TheOldSchool

      I can’t believe that a facebook user wouldn’t know how to spell “snow.” (The w is the only tricky part.)

      May 14, 2009 at 10:57 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   park rose bang

    Don’t worry Alicia, Humpty Dumpty had a similar problem. Krystal knows the score.

    And no matter the efforts of all the kings’ horses and all the king’s men nothing could ever be put back together again.

    Life isn’t fair. Sometimes it sucks being an egg sitting on a wall. You never know what’s going to happen next. The masochists kind of like it, though.

    May 14, 2009 at 9:03 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Humpty Dumpty fell like S###

      May 14, 2009 at 10:22 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   park rose bang

      Thanks for the Cliffs Notes, grim ;)

      (They’ve done away with the possessive before anyone points it out to me).

      May 14, 2009 at 10:28 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Keyser_Soze_reluctant

      So, why is it “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men / couldn’t put Humpty together again”? I mean, why the fuck do they give the horses the first chance; doesn’t that pretty much fuck up anyone else’s chances? Those high gay dead horses hoovin’ all over the crime scene . . . “Sorry, Gil Grissom, but you’ll have to wait until the Clydesdales have cleared out.”
      Man, I’m glad I don’t have a king. Kings suck.

      May 14, 2009 at 10:52 am   rating: 46  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Keyser_Soze_reluctant

      No, dammit, change the name! I’m not Keyser Soze. Keyser Soze is an incredibly witty and powerful poster from Eastern Europe. I’m just Verbal . . . limping off to bed now. Turn off the light, will ya?

      May 14, 2009 at 10:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   park rose

      grim, I knew that was you from the moment you posted way down below. I gave you my thumb, too. maybe the reluctant bit gave you away. I wonder the same thing about the horses… imagine what they’d do to eggshell. I’m limping off to bed, too. One last check before I hit the lights. I did have to think about the king’s, kings bit… but I guess there was only one. for reals.

      May 14, 2009 at 11:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   unholyghost2003 bang

    I meen U guys are great 2gether b4 now that ur knot 2gether. U no? I wish their waz a way 2 sey stuff is b4.

    May 14, 2009 at 9:10 am   rating: 53  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Grimfool_Reluctant

      4reals

      May 14, 2009 at 10:24 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Mishee™ bang

    Ugh, Facebook day.

    I hate Facebook day almost as much as I hate it when RunBarbara grabs the “Board of Education” and decides to “teach me a lesson” – all because I couldn’t get the cursive Z right on the blackboard… all the while Claw looks on with a tub of popcorn…

    May 14, 2009 at 9:10 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   ryanmalloy

      Facebook day – face it, the post war is over!

      May 14, 2009 at 10:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Mishee™ bang

      Don’t make fun of me now.

      You know how hard it is to write “Rizzuto” in cursive??

      May 14, 2009 at 10:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   ryanmalloy

      no cursing, please

      May 14, 2009 at 10:25 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Scooter rules. I never knew there was popcorn.

      May 14, 2009 at 10:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   TheOldSchool

      Mishee, Claw should get you and RB two bathtubs full of hot buttered popcorn for a Cialis video.

      May 14, 2009 at 10:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   secondsout bang

      Mishee, you should embrace Facebook day. That means it’s Friday. TGIF, everyone!

      *checks calendar*

      What? Dammit!

      May 14, 2009 at 11:10 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   Mishee™ bang

      Yes sout, lately kerry has been messing with my internal clock by posting Facebook submissions on days other than Friday.

      At least it isn’t Facebook Wednesday like it was last time…

      May 14, 2009 at 11:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   Clumber bang

      Facebook xxxday and the kuul spk is like sticking my face in a belt sander then ¹belly-flopping into a wading pool filled with rock salt. At least with our new Mandatory 4/10′s, Thursdays are my day before my weekend. (So help me… if ONE MORE asshole says anything along the lines of “Well actually today is my Wednesday because blah blah blah so it is YOUR Friday which means that…” I will fucking find the nearest clock tower and start shooting².

      ¹originally typoed as “belly-flogging” but I corrected it because… well… because Claw scares me..

      ²and Billy asshat Mays is 1st on my list…

      May 14, 2009 at 12:01 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.9   schadenfrau

      Mishee, would you like to try the word “buzz”?

      May 14, 2009 at 12:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.10   Mishee™ bang

      schaden – I’m always buzzed.

      May 14, 2009 at 12:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   park rose bang

    You think they’re older or younger than that chick from high school?

    May 14, 2009 at 9:12 am   rating: 54  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Beanster bang

      I hereby declare that there must now be a raging debate over the question rose has posed.

      Begin.

      * raging debate *?

      May 14, 2009 at 9:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   park rose bang

      but for reals kant we all just chill wtf

      May 14, 2009 at 9:36 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Listy

      park rose i tink u r so write. wee shud jus chillax, u no?

      May 14, 2009 at 9:54 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Keyser_Soze_reluctant

      That raging debate fell like S###

      May 14, 2009 at 10:47 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   secondsout bang

      Older chronologically or emotionally?

      May 14, 2009 at 11:11 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   park rose

      logically or laterally?
      vertically or horizontally?

      May 14, 2009 at 11:24 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   Clumber bang

      laden, or unladen?

      May 14, 2009 at 12:02 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   much to my chagrin bang

      African or European?

      May 14, 2009 at 12:42 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   Mishee™ bang

      It’s not a question of where he grips it! It’s a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.

      Am I right?

      May 14, 2009 at 12:52 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   Mark bang

      I thought we were an autonomous collective!

      May 14, 2009 at 1:10 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   Lady J J

      Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

      May 14, 2009 at 1:35 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.12   Beanster bang

      (your father smelt of elderberries)

      May 14, 2009 at 2:32 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.13   MissMelony

      if Older… the girl in highschool is his high school sweetheart…

      if Younger… the girl in high school gives up the booty

      May 14, 2009 at 2:37 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.14   Woman on the Verge bang

      (I fart in your general direction)

      May 14, 2009 at 2:38 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.15   Sirius bang

      I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey-bottom biters!

      May 14, 2009 at 2:38 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.16   Eric bang

      Fetchez la vache!

      May 14, 2009 at 3:56 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.17   Mark bang

      Build a bridge out of ‘er!

      May 14, 2009 at 4:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.18   Sirius bang

      I don’t want to go up on the cart!

      May 14, 2009 at 5:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.19   warinthepocket

      http://xkcd.com/16/

      May 14, 2009 at 10:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.20   Kate

      very small rocks

      May 14, 2009 at 10:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   park rose bang

    i no U2 were perfect for each other, but Blink 182 have a somewhat dysfunctional relationship.

    May 14, 2009 at 9:33 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   oi!

      who is great together…
      man that has broken my heart or that highschool chic or ? retarded chic

      May 14, 2009 at 1:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Snippy

      Never mind. (Curse you, oi! You revised your comment, thus leaving mine as an irrelevant non sequitur.) :roll:

      May 14, 2009 at 2:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   oi!

      yeah I was trying to use jannlyn’s language but thought better of it, sorry!

      May 14, 2009 at 2:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Snippy

      Hey, keep in mind that Alicia loves him more than anything that has broken her heart. That’s got to be a very long list (of things that she and her friends cannot spell).

      May 14, 2009 at 2:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   park rose

      This is a point that has yet to be exploited.

      Alicia loves Daniel more than the speeding car which flattened her puppy when she was six.

      Alicia loves Daniel more than the heart attack which took her grandmother.

      Alicia loves Daniel more than the executive bastard who decided to remove ‘My Little Pony’, or its equivalent, from kids’ tv programming way back when she was in kindergarten.

      The list goes on…
      Daniel, I love you more than the kerb I stubbed my toe on, which ripped off my toenail, leaving my foot bloody and sore. It broke my heart, it did, it broke my heart.

      May 14, 2009 at 10:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   claw71 bang

    Alicia, Krystal and Rachel don’t know who Daniel is boinking because they’re in their late 20′s and working their way up the corporate ladder. Daniel is the hot young stud who was coaching Alicia’s son’s soccer team at the rec center. When Daniel said he was a senior, Alicia thought he meant college but by the time she found out he was an honor student at James Madison High School who worked at the rec center for a humanities credit it was too late. She was addicted to love.

    What they don’t know is that Jennalyn, who sometimes babysits Alicia’s son, is actually the girl Daniel is planning to take to the prom. What none of them realize is that Daniel is actually gay. He seeks out doomed physical relationships because his father is a relentless homophobe.

    I’m glad I could clear this up.

    May 14, 2009 at 9:33 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   park rose bang

      No, no, no – I think it’s Krystal. She gives it away with i no and and u too were perfect for each other *just like him and me are*.

      May 14, 2009 at 9:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Keyser_Soze_reluctant

      I seriously doubt any of these usual suspects are working their way up any corporate ladder.

      May 14, 2009 at 10:30 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Goldie

      Corporate ladders are full of surprises. Generally, lack of brain works to your advantage when climbing up those things.

      May 14, 2009 at 10:49 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Bunnee

      Yes, lack of brain and the willingness to put your nose into a very unpleasant place and keep it firmly there. Oh, and lack of common sense and logic.

      But I’m not bitter.

      May 14, 2009 at 11:46 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   claw71 bang

      Goldie’s got it right. The only way to advance within a corporation is to be a little dumber than the person you report to. Smart people with innovative ideas and a creative approach to achieving success are quickly squashed by middle managers whose only ambition in life is to get promoted to a junior VP spot.

      Does anybody remember the Quizno’s ad with the infamous “Sponge Monkeys”? They looked like gerbils with fucked up teeth and big googly eyes. They sang a song about how tasty Quizno’s subs were?

      Surely somebody was in that meeting and said “You know, I think we should hold off on this idea because a lot of consumers aren’t going to be crazy about associating their lunch with fuzzy rodents with big googly eyes and trailer park teeth.”

      But did the rest of the suits heed that sage advice? Nope. The CEO liked it. He thought it was funny and the rest of the suits nodded their heads in enthusiastic agreement. The commercial aired, people threw up in their mouths a little bit and Quizno’s became Subway’s bitch. Now we have Jared milking his weightloss story for a healthy income. Nobody likes Jared, but because Subway had the good sense to keep him in a shirt and pants so people didn’t have to witness the sagging bags of loose skin flapping around his svelte frame we don’t barf when we think about Subway.

      Now Quizno’s has a horny oven begging a Quizno’s sandwich roaster to “put it in me.” The ad is kind of funny, but I don’t know that I want to eat something the Quizno’s oven got his jollies off of.

      May 14, 2009 at 12:13 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   Mark bang

      Dude, I really liked the Spongemonkey commercials. I thought they were great!

      Bring Back The Spongemonkeys!!

      May 14, 2009 at 12:19 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   Bunnee

      I liked those commercials, too, but to be honest, I didn’t even remember they were for Quizno’s. I think it’s because they weren’t spongeworthy monkeys. ;)

      May 14, 2009 at 12:27 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   anglophile bang

      Well the spongemonkeys are all dead now, and don’t you wish you had sent them cards and flowers on Spongemonkey Day?

      May 14, 2009 at 12:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.9   Mishee™ bang

      Lots of times people who aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed get promoted due to a mistake or extenuating circumstances.

      Just look at Diane.

      May 14, 2009 at 12:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.10   oi!

      quizno’s had spongemonkey commercials? didn’t they have a commercial involving taste buds and retarded guy with chimps lips?

      May 14, 2009 at 2:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.11   TheMiki

      I LOVED those creepy little rodent things and their completely nonsensical songs. What disturbs me is the new Tasty Torpedo Quizno’s commercials where the toaster oven is blatantly sexually harassing the sandwich maker. It makes me feel dirty.

      May 14, 2009 at 5:01 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.12   Bunnee

      “They got a pepper bar!”

      May 14, 2009 at 10:23 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.13   agatha christie

      “Put it in me, Scott.”

      May 14, 2009 at 10:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.14   Phalange

      I’m glad I’m not the only one freaked out by the new Quizno’s commercials.

      “I’m not doing that again….that burned.”

      “Only foouuurrrrrrr dollars.”

      May 15, 2009 at 10:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   MeToo

    I hear Daniel saying, “That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.”

    May 14, 2009 at 9:37 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Bunnee

      Alright, alright, alright!

      May 14, 2009 at 9:40 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Holiday Djinn

      Hey man, you cool?

      May 14, 2009 at 9:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Mishee™ bang

      The older you get, the more rules they are going to try and get you to follow. You just gotta keep on livin’, man. L-I-V-I-N.

      May 14, 2009 at 9:45 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   unholyghost2003 bang

      I love red heads.

      May 14, 2009 at 9:45 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   MeToo

      We’re not in Junior High any more. We’re freshmen. We’re in the big time now… where the girls will be puttin’ out all the time.

      May 14, 2009 at 9:46 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   NoExit

      Hey man, watch the leather!

      May 14, 2009 at 3:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   Bunnee

      It’d be a lot cooler if you did….

      May 14, 2009 at 4:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   CS harmonikah

    I have no joke only a rant.

    Every one of these people deserves to get an ice-pick to the face, repeatedly.

    This is our education system failing. “no-know” “two-too” etc is horrible.
    And i admit i abbreviate in text messages because it seems time consuming and tedious (and i have the same phone as Zach Morris, so it’s heavy) but there is no excuse for not typing out “you” or “just”.
    *deep breath* It felt good to let that out.

    Oh yeah, It’s Rachels fault for bringing it up, and being glib.
    Team-Mind-your-own-goddamn-business.

    May 14, 2009 at 9:45 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   MeToo

      Dropping a bit o’ serious into the mix –

      CS, that’s because our schools are too busy teaching our kids how to take standardized tests.

      May 14, 2009 at 9:48 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   unholyghost2003 bang

      Stop being glib, Rachel! You’re glib, Rachel, you’re glib, you’re glib! …

      May 14, 2009 at 9:48 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   park rose bang

      @ CSH, by the time I come back, you better have put that possessive apostrophe where it should be!

      Kant over…

      Oh, and Trotsky has made an appearance too. Today is philosophical facebook Friday (on my side of the timeline – in 45 minutes).

      May 14, 2009 at 10:13 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   CS harmonikah

      @9.3 Rose:
      I dont use possessive apostrophes with proper nouns.
      I dont capitalize “I” unless it starts a sentence.
      I use commas haphazardly.
      I am aware of this and i have come to grips with it. And now i feel free as a bird, or a unicorn stomping on the pieces of Humpty Dumpty.

      May 14, 2009 at 11:42 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   Clumber bang

      I think commas should be used much the way pepper is. Write your piece, then grab a shaker of commas and sprinkle to taste.

      Delicious!

      May 14, 2009 at 12:06 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   TheOldSchool

      Clumber, best, comment, ever!

      May 14, 2009 at 5:14 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   anglophile bang

      I disagree; commas don’t do a lot for me.

      May 14, 2009 at 5:21 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   park rose

      Ah, CSH, I don’t really care about apostates, and whether they are shellfish or not. It was just a humourous attempt at reflection on the ranter and rantees.

      There is nothing amusing whatsoever in this comment.

      I’m sure the icepick has cometh. There’s worse company than Trotsky, Rachel, Alicia, Jennalyn and Krystal. Believe it or not.

      Speaking of martyrs to the cause, ‘glo, I think Christ rose again from a comma. Some people are rather fond of them.

      May 14, 2009 at 5:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   Canthz_B bang

      Ooo, I luv commas. Couldnt tell u how or wen to yuse them, but I yuse them with rekles abandon any way! :-)

      May 14, 2009 at 8:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Fraulein N

    All I know is that Rachel deserves a smack in the head the least (even though she did get the ball rolling). She’s the only one actually familiar with proper sentence structure. I know it’s Facebook but hot damn.

    May 14, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   CS harmonikah

    Attention high school, suburban white kids:
    You are not Lil Wayne.
    Speaking in ebonics does not make you cool.
    Neither does writing like you are illiterate.

    Thank you that is all.

    May 14, 2009 at 9:51 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      CS, as you eloquently pointed out before … they are not writing like they are illiterate to “be cool,” they are actually illiterate.

      May 14, 2009 at 10:02 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Joe bang

      Attention ALL HUMAN BEINGS:
      You are not Lil Wayne.
      (Well, with the exception of you, Lil Wayne.)

      Speaking in ebonics does not make you cool.
      (Not even you, Lil Wayne.)

      Neither does writing like you are illiterate.

      Thank you that is all.
      (…now get off my lawn.)

      May 14, 2009 at 10:04 am   rating: 38  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   sugarlips bang

      Thank you Bill Cosby!

      May 14, 2009 at 10:05 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Bunnee

      And pull up your frickin’ pants!

      May 14, 2009 at 10:40 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   CS harmonikah

      Speaking in Ebonics doesnt make Lil Wayne cool.
      The tattoos do.
      Go get face tattoos, kids!

      May 14, 2009 at 11:44 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Clumber bang

      nods as if i know wtf a lil Wayne is as I throw some shiny-new quarters on the ground to distract y’all while I quickly bring up Wikipedia…

      May 14, 2009 at 12:09 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   claw71 bang

      I don’t want to be the fat old grouchy white guy standing around with his fat old grouchy neighbors comparing lawn mowing techniques and bitching about “kids these days”.

      The name of the game when you’re a kid is pissing off the parents. My grandparents bitched at my mom and dad for wearing jeans, listening to Motown and saying things like “cool.”

      My parents couldn’t figure out why I didn’t tie my shoes, didn’t like my spiked hair and didn’t much care for me listening to rap and throwing around words like “word”.

      I know that sagging pants, l33t speak, and hip hop-isms are just an extention of that. The more we bitch about it, the more it validates the action.

      The funny thing is that in 20 years these kids are going to be doing the same thing. I’m not sure what comes after body piercings, tats and creating a new language that is less refined than what we used in the stone age but I’m sure kids in 2029 will know exactly what buttons to push. My money is on genital relocation. Mikl! U 8nt goin 2 da club wityo dick onyo hed! Git back in here & put it back!

      May 14, 2009 at 12:25 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   TheOldSchool

      And people think that TODAY’S teenage boys are dickheads.

      May 14, 2009 at 5:22 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   Canthz_B bang

      I just wonder what idiotic fad we’ll come up with next.
      You know we just do it because we know white kids will steal it and drive their parents to distraction, right?
      It started with singing in the fields. Those Negro spirituals used to drive Massa crazy when his kids hummed them at the dinner table!

      May 14, 2009 at 9:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.10   park rose

      Just be careful of the placement of that apostle trophy, TOS. I hear the Catholics aren’t so willing to turn a blind eye, nowadays. And of course your placement is correct, it’s just that me and my high horse ain’t done yet.

      May 15, 2009 at 6:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.11   Dory

      OOOoooOOOooo, something shiny!

      *swipes Clumber’s quarters*

      May 15, 2009 at 5:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   amy d bang

    Daniel and Alicia are lolcats. That chick is a fluffly young chicken from down the street. The sad thing is that Daniel will end up being henpecked.

    May 14, 2009 at 9:52 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Joe bang

    I’m not sure why Jennalyn decided to bring Kant into all of this, unless she’s postulating that the Categorical Imperative is better stated as “jus chill.”

    May 14, 2009 at 9:58 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Wade bang

      Jennalyn was just quoting Kant:

      We just all chill, wtf.

      It’s a Catagorical Imperative, for reals.

      Dammit, Joe!!! :D

      May 14, 2009 at 10:03 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   park rose bang

      Jung’d have something to say about the two of you (give or take 5 minutes or so ;) ).

      May 14, 2009 at 10:09 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Wade, I think you’re the first person who has shown that the Categorical Imperative and the Prime Directive are actually one and the same.

      Your next mission is to translate Kant from the original German into textese. ROFRMAO (rolling on the floor reasoning my ass off).

      May 14, 2009 at 10:15 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   park rose bang

      ROFLMRAO (roiling on the floor laughing my reasoning arse orf)… at the 3 of ye. I don’t know enough about philosophy so I kant say anything else.

      May 14, 2009 at 10:21 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   Wade bang

      LOLNESZ IZ KNOT N IDEEL OV REESUN BUTT OV IMAJINASHUNS!!1!!11eleven!!1!

      May 14, 2009 at 10:22 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   ryanmalloy

      “We just all chill, wtf.
      It’s a Catagorical Imperative, for reals. ”

      Sounds more like Catatonic Imperative.

      May 14, 2009 at 10:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.7   Joe bang

      “everything fell like S###” makes a great Scategorical Narrative.

      May 14, 2009 at 10:46 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.8   Wade bang

      “Everything Fell Like S###.”

      One of Chinua Achebe’s lesser known works.

      May 14, 2009 at 10:58 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.9   secondsout bang

      Catatonic for sure. Even without the textspeak, Kant is dreadful. Bertrand Russell once said that Kant credits Hume for waking him from a dogmatic slumber. Kant then created a potent laudanum in the form of “The Critique of Pure Reason.”

      May 14, 2009 at 11:16 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.10   Mark bang

      Kant’s writing may be, um, really dry, but his ideas are pretty great. The Categorical Imperative is teh awsum.

      But yeah, reading him is a sure way to go catatonic.

      I just thought of the JJ Fad song, “Supersonic” — but replaced with “Catatonic”…
      The C is for Kant-y
      and the A is for Absurd
      The T’s for Transcendental
      And you know that he’s a turd

      (that was horrible, I have enormous respect for song parody-ers)

      May 14, 2009 at 11:21 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.11   secondsout bang

      And if Kant doesn’t work, try Hegel. That will certainly make you comatose.

      May 14, 2009 at 11:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.12   Mark bang

      It must be said:

      Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
      Who was very rarely stable.
      Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
      Who could think you under the table.
      David Hume could out-consume
      Schopenhauer and Hegel,
      And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
      Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

      There’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ya
      ‘Bout the raising of the wrist,
      Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

      John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
      On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
      Plato, they say, could stick it away
      Half a crate of whiskey every day.
      Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
      Hobbes was fond of his dram,
      And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
      “I drink, therefore I am”

      Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
      A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he’s pissed!

      May 14, 2009 at 11:30 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.13   Mishee™ bang

      Sout – I prefer to combine the two and just go for Kegels.

      Much more fun that way.

      May 14, 2009 at 11:33 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.14   ryanmalloy

      Bruce here teaches classical philosophy, Bruce there teaches Hegelian philosophy, and Bruce here teaches logical positivism, and is also in charge of the sheep dip.

      May 14, 2009 at 12:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.15   secondsout bang

      Python’s Bruce’s Philosopher’s Song, FTW!

      And as long as we’re getting nerdy,

      René Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, “hey, you want a beer?” Descartes thinks for a second and says, “naah, I think not.” He then instantly disappeared.

      I kill me. I’ll be here all week.

      May 14, 2009 at 1:54 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.16   unholyghost2003 bang

      S’Out … that is my Mr’s all time favorite joke. He tells it over and over and over and over ….

      May 14, 2009 at 2:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.17   Sirius bang

      Kitteh should doez wat all kittehs should doez.

      (LOLCATZegorical imperative)

      May 14, 2009 at 2:46 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.18   Mark bang

      Do. Or do not. There is no try.

      Karate do “yes” or karate do “no.” Karate do “guess so,” squish just like grape.

      May 14, 2009 at 2:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.19   oi!

      why chicken crossed the road?
      Kant: Am I that chicken? I can discuss only about when and where chicken crossed the road or why I can not answer this question. I can’t use my sensory experience to answer this cardinal question.

      May 14, 2009 at 3:12 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.20   Grimfool_Reluctant

      I would believe a high, gay horse before I would a French philosopher. Why? Because you can’t put Descartes before de horse.

      May 14, 2009 at 5:07 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Grimfool_Reluctant

    Some fatherly advice to all you young gentlemen out there . . . whenever you become
    “the man I love more than anything that has broken my heart”
    . . . and, important note, it really doesn’t matter if you’re screwing her over for a high school chick, or if you’re just crawling for freedom . . . whenever you become that guy, if, one day later, the girl is publicly saying
    “duh, its sad shit”
    you KNOW you made the right decision

    May 14, 2009 at 10:04 am   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      bah! I can’t thumb you GR! But know that I love you … I love you “more than anything” and that is some happy shit!

      May 14, 2009 at 10:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Grimfool_Reluctant

      Your ghost thumb means more to me than anyone else!

      May 14, 2009 at 10:17 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Rob T Firefly

    Now I want to join Facebook, just so I can go around posting “You guys are great together” on every ended relationship announcement.

    May 14, 2009 at 10:11 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   anglophile bang

      That’s a great idea, Rob! Now I have something to do on Saturday night! :)

      May 14, 2009 at 10:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   secondsout bang

      I thought that other PAN where the guy “liked this” on his own breakup was genius.

      May 14, 2009 at 11:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Bunnee

    I must be old, at least by text-speak standards, because in reading the post and the comments, I have to stop and think about what each word translates to in the real world. I now have a headache.

    *needs pain medication

    May 14, 2009 at 10:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   anglophile bang

    Do Jennalyn and Alicia think sadistic is just a fancier way to say sad?

    Fax is to facsimile as sad is to ?

    May 14, 2009 at 10:56 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   leftfoot

      sodomy.

      May 14, 2009 at 10:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   unholyghost2003 bang

      sodomy has never equaled sad in my book … but then again my book was written by this Marquis dude …

      May 14, 2009 at 11:11 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   MeToo

      Dang…my first thought was that she truly meant “sadistic.” Like, they’re rubbing salt in Alicia’s wounds by telling her how perfect she and Daniel were together.

      Now I realize I haven’t dumbed myself down enough to understand this post, yo.

      May 14, 2009 at 11:35 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   unholyghost2003 bang

      MeToo … I also thought that … and the contrast of the (semi)correctly used “sadistic” against “kant” was making my head spin. “Sadistic” as a $3 version of “sad” makes more sense for this group.

      May 14, 2009 at 11:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   CS harmonikah

      It’s like Awesometastic.

      May 14, 2009 at 12:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Clumber bang

      OMFG… no. Please, please just NO.

      Right then. Well off to the clock tower…

      May 14, 2009 at 12:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   claw71 bang

      I’m never sad when it comes to sodomy.

      May 14, 2009 at 12:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   oi!

      Glo you are my new hero. That definition of sadistic makes perfect sense!

      May 14, 2009 at 5:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   kt

    yo is greater than ???

    way to leave us hanging

    May 14, 2009 at 10:57 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Joe bang

      Maybe it’s social commentary on the lack of a new interjective to catch on? I mean, “yo” is still used commonly today.

      e.g., Xzibit: “Yo, dawg, I heard you like driving, so we put a car in your car so you can drive while you drive!”

      May 14, 2009 at 11:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Mishee™ bang

      I used to watch “Yo! MTV Raps”

      Then I looked in the mirror one day, and realized I was white.

      From then on, it was Headbangers Ball all the way baby…

      May 14, 2009 at 11:40 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   CS harmonikah

      I think the “yo” was to bring attention to “!!!>???”
      It’s very philosophical. Is emotion greater than confusion? Even if it is factually incorrect, is passion greater than uncertainty.

      This young spiritual mentor has given me much to think about.

      May 14, 2009 at 12:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   Mark bang

      Mishee — Rikki Rachmann FTW!

      May 14, 2009 at 12:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   leftfoot

    As if ever I needed any more reasons to avoid Facebook like the bird-swine-bubonic plague…

    May 14, 2009 at 10:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   CS harmonikah

    Re: 18.1
    Yo is greater than a lot of slang words that once were.

    Yo > ………
    Yo > Fresh, Homey, Dope, Wack

    It becomes never-ending
    Yo > Fresh > Wack > Fo Shizzle

    *sigh. Nesting fail*

    May 14, 2009 at 12:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   TheOldSchool

    Does anyone here remember, way back two days ago, when Diane paid us a visit?

    Well, maybe it’s just the roofies I put in my coffee talking, but I do hope that Krystal, Rachel, Alicia, and Jennalyn follow her lead.

    I have a feeling that Daniel and Alicia were perfect for one another … at the time.

    Alicia and her lovely, articulate friends should view Daniel’s rejection of Alicia as an opportunity to vent their collective frustrations via sex with strangers.

    If they don’t, I’m afraid they’ll spend the rest of their lives speculating upon what might have been.

    Daniel was a fool to dump you, Alicia. I know that. But, frankly, there are some skeptics here.

    Show them what Daniel is missing.

    (Alicia: while you’re doing that, Krystal, Jennalyn, Rachel and I will be playing leap frog in the rumpus room.)

    May 14, 2009 at 12:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Licensed To Post

    Someday, somewhere a child is going to google search “douchebags” and those facebook posts will be the 7th thing listed.

    May 14, 2009 at 1:04 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Snippy

      Much higher in the list will be the poster of comment 23.

      But perhaps we shouldn’t mock him. It’s cruel to make fun of the mentally disabled and emotionally stunted.

      May 14, 2009 at 1:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   I suck

    Rachel = TheOldSchool
    Alicia = Mamason
    Krystal = Anglophile

    and of course
    Jennalyn = Misshe

    And poor Claw is the center of this impressive display of internet retardedness.

    May 14, 2009 at 1:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Mishee™ bang

      I only see one display of internet retardedness.

      And it sure ain’t at the top of the page.

      May 14, 2009 at 1:31 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   oi!

      How come you have space in your name now? Are you pointing to the fact that you really do suck and your name is not just word from other language? Well you don t have to, we know that already.
      I adore you greatly. You are doing marvelous job of living up to your name every single time!

      May 14, 2009 at 1:42 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   I suck

      I’m guessing you’re looking at your match.com page?

      May 14, 2009 at 1:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   Mishee™ bang

      *crickets*

      I suppose a match.com account for me would be construed as retarded… considering I’ve been with my husband for almost 10 years…

      May 14, 2009 at 1:45 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   I suck

      haha ok tarzan, let the intelligent monkies play with the keyboard so they can edit your post.

      May 14, 2009 at 1:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.6   mamason bang

      Man! I wasn’t even here and I still got tagged. Somebody loves me! :mrgreen:

      May 14, 2009 at 2:04 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.7   Mishee™ bang

      mamason, if I could I would tag that ass every minute of the day….

      *too much information?*

      May 14, 2009 at 2:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.8   aaa

      Am I the only one waiting for this joker to post at least one link to the Pain Series (or tubgirl or lemonparty or goatse.cx) or at least try to do a Rickroll or two? I suck (New space, eh?) is an incomplete troll without it. Geez. :/

      May 14, 2009 at 2:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.9   I Suck

      I know you are, but what am I? BAM! Wooooooo! what — jeez Mom, could ya knock next time? Gotta go

      May 14, 2009 at 2:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.10   unholyghost2003 bang

      I just want to remind everyone of yesterday when I suck made real joke on the thread, a real joke that wasn’t just insulting a regular poster. A for real joke that earned 50 thumbs up. Yup, Five-zero.
      I suck has proven that s/he can be a positive, contributing member of this site. Just wanted to remind everyone, thanks.

      May 14, 2009 at 2:55 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.11   I suck

      Sorry, I don’t live on the internet. I just yell out the window on the way by.

      May 14, 2009 at 2:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.12   MeToo

      Your RL name wouldn’t happen to be Fletcher, would it? Because that would be FTW.

      May 14, 2009 at 3:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.13   mamason bang

      Don’t you mean Felcher?

      I wonder if he uses crazy straws? That would be festive!

      May 14, 2009 at 3:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.14   MeToo

      Nope, Fletcher the felcher! Even better – Fletcher the filching felcher. (He steals other people’s shit?)

      Ok, ew. I think I’ll end this train of thought right now.

      May 14, 2009 at 3:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.15   Wade bang

      Felcher & Sons: Thinking Outside The Box

      May 14, 2009 at 3:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.16   Mishee™ bang

      mama! so proud of you using your newly aquired word in a sentence so soon after learning it!

      you’re so smart!

      I did the same with Brazilian Zoo when GhostWriter taught that to me… and now I will remember it forever!

      *remembers to send GW a “Thank You” card*

      May 14, 2009 at 3:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.17   Bunnee

      Ummm, didn’t I do that in yesterday’s post? (I threw “fulcrum” in there for good measure)

      Sigh. How quickly they forget….

      May 14, 2009 at 4:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.18   unholyghost2003 bang

      we remember bunnee! and I believe you were praised for it “By jove, she’s got it!”

      May 14, 2009 at 4:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.19   Bunnee

      Now, we just need Mishee to tell us what Brazilian Zoo is (for those of us who weren’t around when it was initially brought up). I have the itch to learn something new today!

      May 14, 2009 at 5:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.20   TheOldSchool

      Bunnee, that fulcrum u thru hit me n da hey-ed!

      May 14, 2009 at 5:41 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.21   Mishee™ bang

      Sorry Bunnee.

      You’re gonna have to google it like the rest of us did.

      I’m not gonna go there.

      May 14, 2009 at 5:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.22   unholyghost2003 bang

      hmmm my Google turned up one website and a bunch of articles about monkey theft … I am guessing the website is what is being referred to, unless pan is populated by a ring of monkey thieves :shock:

      May 14, 2009 at 5:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.23   mamason bang

      No, Bunnee. That’s not what that itch is. I’ve been meaning to talk to you…

      May 14, 2009 at 5:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.24   Bunnee

      *two gorgeous women, having coffee in a beautifully decorated breakfast nook and chatting about their lives*

      Mama, do you ever have times when you feel “not so fresh”?

      May 14, 2009 at 5:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.25   Bunnee

      Judging by Mishee’s response, I better wait until I get home to google it. I’m not quite ready to be fired, yet.

      May 14, 2009 at 6:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.26   Mishee™ bang

      Just be sure to turn the SafeSearch off.

      Otherwise you end up with ghostie’s results.

      or just go to http://www.brazilianzoo.com

      (and you know this isn’t even Brazilian, since they spell it Brasil most of the time!)

      May 14, 2009 at 6:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.27   mamason bang

      Do I ever, Bunnee! After a night of being TOS’d around, I need more than just a shower!

      Seriously though, with friends like him, who needs enemas?

      Me, that’s who!

      *I’d like to apologize. I’ve eaten a gazillion truffles and been watching some hard-core gay porn and I feel a bit stoned*

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      May 14, 2009 at 6:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.28   TheOldSchool

      If no one else minds, could we please return to the 23:24, where, when we last left them:

      *two gorgeous women, having coffee in a beautifully decorated breakfast nook and chatting about their lives*

      Mama, do you ever have times when you feel “not so fresh”?

      ********
      What happens next?

      May 14, 2009 at 6:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.29   TheOldSchool

      And, just out of curiosity, what was so beautiful about the way the nook was decorated?

      (Heterosexual males can take an interest in home design, too. I think….)

      May 14, 2009 at 6:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.30   unholyghost2003 bang

      the matched maple dinette set and the built in oak china cupboards.

      May 14, 2009 at 6:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.31   Tastelessandless

      One woman turns to the other and the following conversation ensues….

      A: “What was the first name of that French existential philosopher again?”

      B: “Jean-Paul!”

      [mutual laughter]

      May 14, 2009 at 6:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.32   TheOldSchool

      Mama, naughty, naughty. You should stay away from “my gentleman bachelor friend’s” gay porno when I’m not able to enjoy them … uh … being enjoyed by you.

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      May 14, 2009 at 6:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.33   Sirius¤ bang

      . . . do you ever have times when you feel “not so fresh”?

      Or, in the city: “Damn, Shaniqua!”

      May 14, 2009 at 6:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.34   TheOldSchool

      uhg03: I see. So retro, it’s hipper than hip.

      T&L: What was the cause of the laughter?

      1) Because theFrenchman had two first names?

      2) Because his first novel, LA NAUSÉE (1938), was so obviously influenced by the German philosopher, Edmund Husserl, and his phenomenological methodology, which held that human life has no purpose; and yet, it was Sartre who became synonymous with existentialism?

      3) Because, in spite of being a 4-foot-11-inch-tall, wall-eyed speed freak, who drank a fifth of whiskey a day, he was sought after for sex by many of the most beautiful women in the world?

      May 14, 2009 at 6:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.35   Tastelessandless

      Yes, TOS, for all those reasons.

      Plus, he wrote that “everything that exists is born for no reason, carries on living through weakness, and dies by accident.” I mean, come on, the guy was a laugh a minute.

      May 14, 2009 at 7:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.36   unholyghost2003 bang

      Well, I am glad you guys cleared THAT up … I was wondering myself what Sartre had to do with Feminine odor.

      May 14, 2009 at 7:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.37   Tastelessandless

      Oh, and also the “two women having coffee” scenario prompted me to try for an admittedly awkward reference tie-in to an obviously not-so-recent TV commercial for a flavored coffee powder. In the ad, two women laughed when they recalled the name of a French waiter in some quaint café — and it was Jean-Paul, and earlier there were references to philosophers, and, and, and…. OK, so it was too much of a stretch.

      Shit, maybe the waiter’s name was Jean-Luc…. but how was I going to work Godard into this cockamamie thread?

      [breaks down and starts weeping]

      Er….. skip it.

      May 14, 2009 at 7:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.38   TheOldSchool

      T&L;

      I think 1964 holds the key to what lies behind the door of your dilemma.

      As you’ll recall, this was the year that Jean-Luc
      shot a film called “Une Femme Mariée,” but censors not only forced him to re-edit due to a topless sunbathing scene, but they also made made him change the title of the film
      (so that it wouldn’t give the impression that this scandalous woman was typical of the modern French wife).

      Mamason and Bunnee could be laughing at the absurdity of a married French woman having an affair.

      Was Godard on drugs?

      May 14, 2009 at 9:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.39   Bunnee

      Mama, I can imagine! *nods sympathetically Did you have to break out the pressure washer and steel wool like last time? I can recommend a good moisturizer…..or has it gone beyond that?

      *thoughtfully sips her International coffee (mocha maple nut vanilla frappucino latte) while trying to decide how to tactfully tell Mama the name of a good vaginal rejuvination doctor*

      May 14, 2009 at 10:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   oi!

    Despite her name and outrageoususe of text speech (kant, kant?? when I read that word, I instantaneously assumed it’s euphemism for other word ) , Jannalyn sounds most rational than others. Who says, “you guys are great together” after some one breaks up?
    No, I am thinking it was just hell of coincidence that she used the word sadistic. The use of kant has its dues.

    May 14, 2009 at 1:30 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   aaa

      Kant? Maybe it’s just all those required philosophy classes I took, but I automatically think of Immanuel Kant. That Prussian deontological fucker.

      May 14, 2009 at 2:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Mark bang

      aaa, you are needed on thread 13.

      May 14, 2009 at 2:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   aaa

      What? Who says that anyone needs to read the previous posts? Losers, that’s who! ;D

      May 14, 2009 at 2:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Woman on the Verge bang

    I have very limited Facebook knowledge, but I’m assuming that one of the sign up requirements is proof of illiteracy?

    May 14, 2009 at 2:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   anglophile bang

      Not 4realz. I haz a facebook and I r not illiturut!

      May 14, 2009 at 2:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   aaa

      Unfortunately, like most things on the internet, a rudimentary knowledge of chatspeak is the minimum amount of literacy you need to use the site.

      May 14, 2009 at 2:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   aaa

    Ah, the internet! Nothing like social networking to fool you into thinking other humans actually give a shit about your existence! X3

    May 14, 2009 at 2:23 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   aaa

    Surely I’m not the only person wanting somebody to “like” that status update…

    May 14, 2009 at 2:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   MissMelony

      im right there with ya

      May 14, 2009 at 4:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   TheOldSchool

      Surely I’m not the only one here who has walked in on his grandparents while they were engaged in sexual intercourse.

      May 14, 2009 at 6:10 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Tastelessandless

      Was Miss Melony right there with ya?

      May 14, 2009 at 6:19 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   TheOldSchool

      She was observing them through the bedroom window. The fact that her glasses had fogged was the tip-off.

      May 14, 2009 at 9:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   TP

    Has anyone commented yet on Jennalyn’s use of the word “sadistic”? I wonder if she realizes she is insulting her friends by saying that their woes and lamentations are “sadistic”.

    May 14, 2009 at 11:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   ryanmalloy

      Thread 17 is to a certain extend devoted to the matter of sadism vs. sadness (vs. sodomy).

      May 15, 2009 at 5:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   ryanmalloy

    Anyone notice that jennalyn’s comments are timed in the early morning (or late, late night)?
    Maybe extensive partying (or the nights with Daniel, for all we know) have exhausted her so much that all she wants is “jus chill wtf”…

    May 15, 2009 at 5:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   cheeky

    What if (cue twilight zone music) Jennalyn is that chick in highschool?

    Being forced to witness her friend Rachel’s (well ex-friend now, I suppose) heartbreak and agony is sending her on one hell of a guilt-trip. You know, when she could be having all kinds of fun with her new man Daniel.

    Thus, sadistic.

    Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m onto something.
    All hail Cheeky the Detective.

    I don’t see anyone hailing!

    HAIL ME, I COMMAND YOU.

    but for reals kant we all just hail me wtf?

    May 15, 2009 at 8:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   anglophile bang

      Sorry, cheeky. I kant hail you. Alicia is the one suffering heartbreak and agony, not Rachel. Don’t be sadistic, I’m sure you’ll do better next time!

      May 15, 2009 at 9:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   cheeky

      And that’s when it all fell like S####

      not even just a little cheer?

      May 15, 2009 at 9:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     

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