So, I pretty much have a policy of not posting notes submitted by the people who wrote them. I made an exception for this one because I think the really passive-aggressive part of the story is the behavior that inspired it. You might disagree. Nonetheless — on to the backstory, from an anonymous dad in Cary, North Carolina:
My daughter attends a friend’s house for child care two days a week. For the past few days, the lady watching her has been checking my daughter’s clothing tags and telling her she needs to wear “the size of her age.” (“Since you’re 4 years old, you need to wear size 4,” etc.) This person has never said anything to me or her mother — just the child.
This was making my daughter worry unnecessarily about her clothes, so I decided to step in. When I asked my daughter if she had her tags checked that day, she said yes — but we’ve never had another incident of tag-checking since.
related: you’re toast
336 responses so far ↓
#1
Listy
If only my bathroom scale would tell me that.
May 15, 2009 at 9:03 am rating: +70
#2
Scrambles the Death Dealer
Dad should be more concerned with leaving his daughter in the care of someone that crazy.
May 15, 2009 at 9:04 am rating: +196
#3
Iain B
good for you – sometimes passive aggressive notes are the only way to deal with a situation, and glad you posted it here too.
Also agree with Scrambles – Sack the sitter!
May 15, 2009 at 9:07 am rating: +25
#4
TheMiki
Hmmm… I’m 27 and I wear a size 4. Do I need to wear a size 27? Because I don’t think it would work out very well.
I know day care is insanely expensive, but maybe the note-writer would just be better off dropping the kid off at the park and hoping for the best.
May 15, 2009 at 9:08 am rating: +87
#5
David
This is awesome. I must admit I do support a well-crafted passive aggressive note from time to time.
May 15, 2009 at 9:09 am rating: +33
#6
Rachet
Well done. And I think a new sitter is in order, too. What a moronic thing to tell a child.
May 15, 2009 at 9:13 am rating: +35
#7
Mishee™
Soon we will see a 4 year old in a grocery store in NC; a little old lady will admire her cute hairstyle, and ask her how old she is…
The answer?
“None of your damn business!!”
(Still better than what I said to someone when I was that age…)
May 15, 2009 at 9:17 am rating: +27
#8
Canthz_B
I can’t wait to see what Dad sews into his daughter’s clothing just before her first date!
May 15, 2009 at 9:19 am rating: +142
#9
Wendy
Love it!! That sitter is creepy, think it’s time to find someone new.
May 15, 2009 at 9:21 am rating: +7
#10
Mishee™
But the sitter is just concerned about the kid!
I mean… what about the childern?
Won’t anyone think of them???
May 15, 2009 at 9:22 am rating: +15
#11
N/A
I really want to send my kid to this lady for a week, just to mess with her. He’s in everything from 12-18 months to 6-8 size clothes right now depending on brand and so on.
May 15, 2009 at 9:33 am rating: +11
#12
anglophile
I think it would have been more passive-aggressive for the dad to tell his daughter to say, “are you wearing a size 74, then?”
May 15, 2009 at 9:35 am rating: +78
#13
andipandi
The babysitter is missing a few cards from the deck. Unless the clothes obviously don’t fit, she had no business there, especially telling the child and not the parents. My 4 year old was large and wore size 8.
Ridiculous.
May 15, 2009 at 9:36 am rating: +11
#14
Katie
Shame on Dad. Girls need to be taught early that the size of their clothes is paramount.
May 15, 2009 at 9:36 am rating: +38
#15
claw71
Checking tags my ass. This pedophile was checking to see if there was any grass on the field.
May 15, 2009 at 9:40 am rating: +21
#16
Libbie
Uh…am I the only one who’s genuinely creeped out by this sitter? It seems weird to me that a sitter would routinely want to look on the inside of a child’s clothing. Once out of curiosity, okay. Repeatedly? WTF. At the very least, this person is a control-freak of such a high degree that I’d worry about my kid being around such an imbalanced personality. At worst, this person gets a thrill out of looking at bare toddler skin.
Either way, gross.
May 15, 2009 at 9:40 am rating: +38
#17
Rizzo
Yeah, pretty sure I would have just punched the babysitter.
Also I refuse to wear a size 28 just because I’m 28 years old. Number one, I’d have to take stock in belts. And my seamstress would get rich.
May 15, 2009 at 9:41 am rating: +3
#18
anglophile
The dad thinks he has solved the problem, but he hasn’t. The babysitter will soon be filling the little girl’s head with all sorts of other “rules”. Rules like girls aren’t good at math or girls should play with dolls, not trucks or good girls bring their babysitters money from daddy’s wallet.
May 15, 2009 at 9:48 am rating: +69
#19
Lorelie
I’m 5′3″. My husband is 5′7″. Our kids? Seem to be on track to midget-hood. If I dressed them by age, I’d also have to get them big floppy shoes and red balls to stick on their noses, just to complete the clown look.
May 15, 2009 at 9:56 am rating: +20
#20
amy
team new sitter!
May 15, 2009 at 10:02 am rating: +13
#21
Robin
Have to agree with N/A up above – kid’s clothing varies dramatically by brand. I have a four-year-old and he wears everything from Size 5 to Size 2. He’s a skinny kid so many Size 4’s are too large for his waist, so he’s mostly in 3’s.
Seriously, if a babysitter has a concern, telling the parents about it is one thing. “I think your child’s clothes may be too tight, she’s been growing a lot and needs some new clothes that fit her better.” But to have some weird arbitrary rule, and then try to make the kid feel stressed about it, like the kid is doing something wrong? That is not even remotely okay.
May 15, 2009 at 10:05 am rating: +13
#22
omphaloskeptic
wow, the title of this post is not funny at all
May 15, 2009 at 10:18 am rating: +8
#23
kmd
Why did I know that the child in question was a girl?
And that the comments would be full of fat-hating fail?
May 15, 2009 at 10:22 am rating: +15
#24
ClearlyDemented
This is one PAN I can’t get behind. Why would you try to create a tense relationship between yourself and the person taking care of your kid? Cutting the tags off, maybe, but writing nasty notes for someone caring for your child to find? Stupid.
Plus, you’re getting your information from a 4-year-old. In my experience, accuracy in storytelling is not usually their forte. If either of these parents had said something to this babysitter like ‘Hey, my kid’s real worried that she’s not wearing the same size as her age. What’s the deal with that?’ they might have gotten a logical explanation.
May 15, 2009 at 10:24 am rating: +39
#24.10
MeToo
Yeah, I’m ready for the REAL story here. Hey, Diane came in and cleared everything up for us – why can’t Daddy Dearest?
I’m with CD, rah rah!
May 15, 2009 at 1:44 pm rating: +2
#24.11
N/A
I don’t think it’s weird that the sitter is looking at the tags. I’m sure she’s either changing the kids diaper or helping her in the bathroom. It’s perfectly reasonable for a baby sitter to take off a little kids clothes.
May 15, 2009 at 3:20 pm rating: +1
#24.12
Sirius¤
You wouldn’t believe how many times my defense lawyer has had to say that on my behalf.
May 15, 2009 at 3:37 pm rating: +19
#24.13
oi!
sssssh people. Do you guys even know how much time it takes to talk to baby sitter and ask what’s going on when dropping the kids off at center?
Mr. dad chose easier, faster, smarter way to solve the problem. No seriously, it stopped the baby sitter from looking, isn’t it? Only intelligent, hardworking guys like him would know the most efficient way to communicate. Stitch notes to the clothing. Talking is way overrated people.
well I gotta say tearing the label off is equally smarter way to solve the problem! I mean you are not in anyway contacting the offending person and you are being totally nice person and nothing feels like sheet. Kan it be better than that?
May 15, 2009 at 5:04 pm rating: +5
#24.14
fluffy8u
I think I can agree with ClearlyDemented. My 6 year old cousin once told her mom that I pushed her out of my room. Excuse me, I escorted the rock out so I can strip down and dance in my underwear.
Another time she told my mom that it was me who left out the pb&j. What a tattle-tell. So I ratted on her that she was the one who left the crayon out and put a sticker on the dog. That showed her!
May 16, 2009 at 12:23 am rating: +2
#24.15
April
umm also we know it is a girl because the clothes have ruffles and pink on them in the picture.
May 22, 2009 at 2:43 pm rating: 0
#25
marblecheshire
It is rather creepy that the sitter is looking at tags anyway.
May 15, 2009 at 10:27 am rating: +1
#26
Rob T Firefly
This is way creepy, even for the Internet.
May 15, 2009 at 10:27 am rating: +3
#27
L
Wow. This babysitter would have loved me. I wore a size 6 in kids clothing until I was 12. What a weirdo. I would be concerned about having my kid watched by her.
May 15, 2009 at 10:34 am rating: +3
#28
unholyghost2003
When I first came onto PAN today I glanced at the picture without reading the text and I got a little bit excited … I thought some enterprising and sullen teen had put these notes in the lining of his/her pockets to thwart a nosey mother or father who was checking pocket contents.
Then I read the back story. I am with all of those who say that babysitter needs a swift punch to the throat and to have one kid less to fill with crazy. A PA note would have been fine if your kid didn’t care and mentioned it off hand “Mrs Smith is weird. She says my shirt should be my age
” But no, bitch gave your kid a complex. Now is the time to stop being PA.
May 15, 2009 at 10:44 am rating: +21
#29
claw71
That’s what I love about these preschool girls, man: I get older, they stay the same age.
May 15, 2009 at 10:52 am rating: +18
#30
Jane Que
Why are we all assuming that the babysitter was telling her she needed a bigger size? Maybe she was wearing size 5 and the clothes hung from her like potato sacks instead of hugging her girlish curves.
May 15, 2009 at 11:08 am rating: +12
#31
Molly
This made me LOL out loud.
May 15, 2009 at 11:32 am rating: +1
#32
oi!
I think e’body must have said it before but it’s so grave I have to say it. The babysitter is creepy and dad is idiot.
ha ha look I won and stopped the sitter from commenting at my daughter’s clothing. Little he knows now the sitter has single out the kid and doing more just looking at the tags. you are so smart dad!
May 15, 2009 at 11:38 am rating: +7
#33
Woman on the Verge
You know, I am going to get out a sharpie and write “None of your damn business” on that damn label on the back of my Levis. I never understood why it was there with your size on it anyway.
May 15, 2009 at 11:50 am rating: +13
#34
Grimfool_Reluctant
I’m late today (sorry) so first, to Marblecheshire, hey ya’ll, we play hardball here, so welcome, welcome, and get used to it.
To Mishee and Claw, old friends, fuck you. I’m from Kentucky, so be like stale old Jay Leno and focus all your incest jokes on me. If that’s what passes for clever in your imagination . . . well, it says a lot more about you than it does about the South. I know you guys, and I know you can do better.
May 15, 2009 at 12:49 pm rating: +12
#35
Grimfool_Reluctant
Honestly, I’m creeped out by the child care worker . . . but, as a former father, I’m REALLY creeped out by a father who would think that the appropriate reaction to this situation would be to put a fucking smart-ass tag in his daughter’s clothes. Jeeeeeezzzzuuuussss.
“Daddy, Mrs. McMurdoch put her finger in my no-no today.”
“Really, sweetie? I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again.”
**Grabs a Sharpie, scribbles on daughter’s panties “None of your damn business” and then looks up the address to submit photos to PAN.**
Thanks, Dad!
May 15, 2009 at 12:56 pm rating: +13
#36
Mishee™
ok… so, I guess I’m gonna have to be the one who says it.
Who is gonna do the Salt ‘n Pepa parody?
May 15, 2009 at 1:41 pm rating: +2
#37
Dory
I’m offended. What’s with all the attention on the fatties? Skinnies need flak, too.
Bring the h8rs, please.
May 15, 2009 at 4:40 pm rating: +2
#38
Blackwood
I don’t agree with the fact that anyone should check the tags of your clothing, ever.
Also, I find it completely rude that some people here think they’re entitled to say what other people should wear and what they should do with their bodies… Raging God complex, anyone? and most of them are men, coincidentally! Post a picture, let’s see if you’re Brad Pitt’s clone with a smashing sense of fashion or what!
Wow, some people really do go out of their way to make the human race look bad.
May 15, 2009 at 6:49 pm rating: +1
#39
c lo
Well, playing devils advocate here……….
The parent could be entirely crazy here.
I watch kids and I have one family who has a nearly 4 year old, and they are so so 1)clueless and 2)cheap they haven’t bought her clothing in probably two years. No joke, the kid (who is a normal average sized kid) comes to my house in dresses that don’t come down over her undies that are size 2t and shirts that are essentially midriff baring shirts because they are size 18month…ON A NEARLY 4 YEAR OLD. And this isn’t the first parent I’ve had who did this. Recently, I had a drop-in who’s parents sent her to me in a size 9 month jacket. She’s almost 5.
Passive agressive is passive agressive and if the parent had a justifiable case, they’d probably ignore it. Maybe this parent is some cheapo or someone who neglects their kid and actually doesn’t put them in appropriately sized clothes. Maybe.
I mean, why would the babysitter look unless maybe the kid looked like the clothes were ill-fitting?
May 15, 2009 at 6:52 pm rating: +13
#40
surrahsurrah
Using your children as a vehicle for aggression is obviously good parenting. When I have children, I’ll do things like send them to the IRS with notes telling them to suck it. Then I’ll resort to the ever classy “teach your kids how to give people the middle finger” to finish it off.
This father is an inspiration to us all.
May 15, 2009 at 10:43 pm rating: +14
#41
Kevin
Well, I checked the size of my pants. They say “38×32″. It’s been a while since I did math in my head, but I think that comes out to 1,216. I don’t think my clothing is age appropriate unless I was born in the year 793.
May 15, 2009 at 10:53 pm rating: +17
#42
Kip
Probably more disturbing than the fact that he covered the tags is that the shirt is about the most expensive thing sold at Target. Why go to a discount store and buy the most expensive shirt on the rack? Buy the cheap shirt that will rip in six months, they’ll outgrow it by then anyway.
Team crazy parent. Though maybe his next note should be to the high school chick on the corner who needs gas money.
May 16, 2009 at 11:02 am rating: +2
#43
jojobe
am I the only one who sees the passive-aggressiveness in what the babysitter did? I know popular theories are divided between which is more sane, the babysitter or the parent… (Probably neither, why give either of them that much credit) BUT, here’s another possible scenario.
Kid’s clothes are ill-fitting. Babysitter checks tags out of a dastardly human motivation called curiosity (ex: “What the hell size of clothes is this kid wearing today?”). Babysitter can think of no way to approach parent, for fear of seeming presumptuous and kind of an asshole (rightly so). So babysitter thereupon plants little seeds of unhappiness and doubt in child concerning child’s clothing, in hopes that child will simply insist to wear ‘the size of her age.’ Parent hears back from child and thinks ‘That bitch of a babysitter is a presumptuous asshole.’ Cue PA notes on tags. Viola.
May 16, 2009 at 11:39 am rating: +4
#44
SB
I would like to applaud this. My kindergarten teacher checked my clothing tags as a child and it humiliated me.
Is this a southern thing?
May 16, 2009 at 12:29 pm rating: +1
#45
jojobe
you know, i wouldn’t classify it as that, but it’s probably a lot more typical down south. they are known for being much more intimate, on a general basis… and with good reason.
May 16, 2009 at 12:45 pm rating: +1
#46
katie
I don’t understand why the parents kept sending the kid to that person. A babysitter invades my child’s privacy, says things that humiliate her or at least make her self-conscious, and does all this without ever speaking to me, you better believe that bitch isn’t caring for my kids anymore. At least they did something about it. I hope they talked with their kid and let her know that there’s nothing wrong with her, it’s just the woman who’s loopy.
May 16, 2009 at 12:45 pm rating: +3
#47
you are all fools
Really, I think that the comments are more agressive than the submitted notes…
May 16, 2009 at 6:04 pm rating: 0
#48
NoAdditives
Why not just cut the tags out of the clothes? After all, tags are pretty irritating.
Or how about talking to the day care provider about the inappropriateness of that kind of behavior?
May 16, 2009 at 7:59 pm rating: 0
#49
Canthz_B
Beware of children bearing PANs.
May 16, 2009 at 11:01 pm rating: +4
#50
Canthz_B
Of course it’s none of her “damn business”…damning is God’s business!
Hell, He’s a God-damned expert at damning!!
May 17, 2009 at 1:31 am rating: +2
#51
Canthz_B
Just like you stopped watching television because of the commercials?
I admire your integrity.
May 17, 2009 at 5:38 pm rating: +1
#52
Corrine
Oh the very lovely and very racist 82% white town of Cary, NC. Right outside snotty research triangle. My father moved there a few years ago and the place makes my skin crawl.
May 17, 2009 at 9:28 pm rating: +2
#53
lauren
I’m guessing the woman checking this child’s tags knows very little about children’s clothing. I have seven little nieces and nephews, and though they have always been perfectly average height/weight for their age, most of them did NOT always wear the exact size clothing for their age. Those sizes are just a guideline.
And even if that weren’t the case, wow, what a way to give a child a body complex at an early age. That’s incredibly damaging in the long run.
May 17, 2009 at 11:14 pm rating: +1
#54
Lucy
aaahaha love that idea. good for the parents. :b that lady is such an anal beeetch.
May 18, 2009 at 1:55 am rating: +1
#55
Carrieknowseverything
If I found out that a babysitter was looking in my childs clothing for any other reason than a bathroom accident, she would no-longer be my babysitter.
His father and I, and in the case of a doctor, are the only people who should ever see him underneath his clothing.
May 18, 2009 at 9:47 am rating: +2
#56
slewisecu
So – I have been reading everyone’s posts and I am the father… my daughter is 3 feet 8 inches tall and weighs 33 pounds – she is tiny. Yes she eats, like a horse, but we are outside a lot being very active.
As for the story – I talked to my daughter and she did not want me to say anything, because it would make it worse. She had a few more days there before she went to other care. I do listen to my child when they ask about certian things. This seemed like the time I made an adult decision and did not verbally say anything and at the same time let the sitter know what she was doing was not acceptable. When my daughter got into the car that afternoon I asked if anything happened. She asked my why I wrote on the tags – that the sitter saw the writing. I explained to her that I listend to her about not saying anything. I also said that if she is having problems and she does not want us to say anything, that we will still do something to show her that I support her and her emotional well being. The child has clothes that fit her and even in her size 5 they do not fit, she still needs size 4 and 3 in some cases. There have been no other issues with her age and the tags.
My daughter was in tears one time at my parents house trying to rip the tags off her clothes. That was when we had a talk and that was also the first time I or her mother heard of this happening. So for all of you that have children you understand the trust that you need to develop with your children. If I would have not listened to her and talked to the sitter, then that would have broken the trust a little. What happens when she is older and you need to depend on the trust you built when they are young.
As for the “sitter” we have not talked to them in almost 2 years because of this incident and now they have 2 daughter – Karma – it will come back to bite them in the future…
May 22, 2009 at 4:45 pm rating: +6
#57
anaonymous
maybe your daughter is fat and needs to lose some weight. maybe youre a neglectful parent. ass hole
Jun 19, 2009 at 12:11 am rating: 0
#58
Wererat
I should tell my boss to get her two year old out of those t4’s then, she’ll just have to take her shins off i guess! i mean, come on, every kid grows EXACLY the same right? Their all EXACLY the same in every way…. and #56, your a nazi. quit hatin on us non arians
Jun 24, 2009 at 1:04 pm rating: 0
#59
Anna
That father is so right to put that on those clothes tags. Why would anyone want to encourage an obsession over clothing sizes at such a young age? I can’t believe that babysitter did that!
Jul 3, 2009 at 6:31 pm rating: 0
Leave a Comment