If she were really passive-aggressive, she’d get the fence secretly electrified

May 18th, 2009 · 170 comments

Writes Chris in Riverside, California: “My friend Eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage. Cigarettes and energy drinks are the diet of choice and we (usually 5 to 7 people lanning there at any given time) piss on his fence so we don’t flush the toilet too many times over the evening. He woke up one morning with this note from his mother.”

I’d say Eric got off pretty easy, no?

ERIC - PICK UP THE CIGARETTE BUTTS! NOW & do not piss on the fence! That is so Disrespectful to me & this house! What the hell Eric! There is a bathroom right thru the door! USE IT.

related: WoW, indeed

FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · California · Moms & Dads · piss · smoking · toilet


170 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Marklar

    Marklar!

    May 18, 2009 at 9:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   mamason bang

      Retard!

      May 19, 2009 at 12:15 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   park rose

      He meant to say malarky, Mama.

      May 19, 2009 at 1:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   secretrebel

      Gavlar!

      May 19, 2009 at 10:03 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Mishee™ bang

      Beldar!

      NARFLE THE GARTHOK!

      May 19, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Goldie

      Obviously none of you marklars watch South Marklar. http://www.tv.com/south-park/starvin-marvin-in-space!/episode/2460/summary.html

      May 19, 2009 at 3:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Mishee™ bang

      I’ve watched South Marklar.

      I just prefer the Coneheads, thank you very much.

      May 19, 2009 at 5:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Priss

    The bathroom? Uhhh… I sure don’t want anyone smoking in my bathroom. That stuff stinks to high hell. I go in there for clean, not sludge.

    May 18, 2009 at 9:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Resident Grammarian esq bang

    I love how they justify pissing on the fence. What the hell indeed.

    May 18, 2009 at 9:56 pm   rating: 76  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   TheOldSchool

      Who doesn’t enjoy the steamy aroma of a urine-soaked fence baking in the midday sun?

      It just gives off that “Honey, we’re home!” ‘European’ vibe that realtors love.

      “Oh, look! There are even butts scattered carelessly on the lawn! We’ll take it.”

      The town’s ‘number one’ realtor smiles. “Just sign the papers, and YOU’RE IN.”

      May 18, 2009 at 11:03 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   ryanmalloy

      Cookie Kwan is the number one on the West Side.

      May 19, 2009 at 12:42 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Canthz_B bang

      Ladies and Gentlemen, ryanmalloy presents…West Side Story!!!

      *wild applause silence*

      May 19, 2009 at 2:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   newschool

      If its yellow let it mellow, if its brown flush it down.

      May 19, 2009 at 8:55 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   AuntyBron

      Those guys must have bladders the size of a squirrel’s.

      May 19, 2009 at 11:25 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   anglophile bang

    Wow. You know you’ve really annoyed your mom when she writes the word piss.

    May 18, 2009 at 9:58 pm   rating: 61  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   TheOldSchool

      And you know she’s pissed when she writes the word “annoy.”

      May 18, 2009 at 11:09 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   AuntyBron

      For real – my mom and grandma used to whisper swear words. They’d NEVER write them down.

      May 19, 2009 at 11:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   MagPie bang

      I’m 31 years old and my mom still spells them thinking that it doesn’t count as a curse word if you fucking spell the shit.

      May 19, 2009 at 9:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   oi bang

    I want to know age of this people. Seriously WTF?

    May 18, 2009 at 10:02 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   TheOldSchool

      Oi, I put out some feelers thru my contacts in the LAN community. Eric is 48. Chris is 51.

      None of my contacts could confirm mother’s age, but they all agreed that she’s most likely a milf who is into socially awkward guys with highly flexible thumbs.*

      (But she’s not into water sports.)

      May 18, 2009 at 10:49 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   oi bang

      That sounds about right, TOS

      May 18, 2009 at 11:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Brainsmmm...nevermind

    I find peeing in empty Mountain Dew bottles much more convenient!

    May 18, 2009 at 10:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   TheOldSchool

      more convenient than what?

      May 18, 2009 at 10:53 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Brainsmmm...nevermind

      Than flushing the toilet or having to walk 2 feet over to the fence. That way World of Warcraft cannot be interrupted. Jeez, don’t you know anything?

      May 18, 2009 at 11:53 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Canthz_B bang

      Pants? 8-O

      May 18, 2009 at 11:53 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Mishee™ bang

      My big brother often used the bottle.

      But when you are up all night tweeking, you can’t be running to the bathroom at 3am!

      Your mom might find out and kick you out.

      And what’s a 38 year old parolee to do then??

      May 19, 2009 at 12:04 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   aaa

      Adult diapers. The astronauts do it, so it must be cool.

      May 19, 2009 at 12:11 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   TheOldSchool

      Is it true that Tang is just freeze-dried astronaut urine?

      May 19, 2009 at 1:20 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   Canthz_B bang

      I used to date a girl who could pee in a beer bottle…can you say turned on?!?!?!

      It was a blast when she did it on our way home to Essex County, NJ from Atlantic City…Hey! It’s a long drive, and a girl cool enough to do that deserves the benefit of a doubt!! :-P

      May 19, 2009 at 2:39 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   Jane Que

      Are you sure she was a girl?

      May 19, 2009 at 10:41 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.9   ScottR

      I had friends that would play poker in high school and they had 2liter bottles of piss all over the garage/game room. Really gross that they held onto the bottles and ever worse that they held them long enough that you could see the separation and sediment.

      May 19, 2009 at 12:55 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.10   Mishee™ bang

      Scott, you just made me shudder.

      Yuck.

      May 19, 2009 at 1:51 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.11   fluffy8u

      Tweakers do the whole “let’s save our pee” thing because they’re afraid that someone for some reason will find the substance they’re abusing.

      Drugs make people paranoid. We learned that in DARE. Well, not exactly. We learned that from the tweaking brother after we graduated from DARE. Who knew you could learn more from a druggie than a cop?

      May 19, 2009 at 3:12 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Beanster bang

    “Use It” looked like “visit” to me. Mum is telling him to visit the bathroom? visit her to pay his respects?

    May 18, 2009 at 10:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   TheOldSchool

      You know what they say: “visit or lizit….”

      May 19, 2009 at 1:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   fluffy8u

      Sorry, I was going to say something but then I desided it wasn’t funny. Just ignore this.

      May 19, 2009 at 3:13 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   anhella

    Uh yeah, you could pee in the toilet a few times before flushing, that’s what people do in area’s where the water is monitored.

    May 18, 2009 at 10:04 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Canthz_B bang

      If it’s yellow, let it mellow.
      If it’s brown, flush it down!

      May 18, 2009 at 10:27 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   anglophile bang

      Which is why the Mello Yello bottle would be more appropriate than the Mountain Dew bottle.

      May 19, 2009 at 6:37 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   not me!

      See ScottR’s comment at 6.9

      When it’s yellow, it doesn’t necessarily mellow. I say flush it all!

      May 20, 2009 at 6:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   jfruh

    Ha ha, I love how we learn that “his garage” = “his mother’s garage”.

    May 18, 2009 at 10:06 pm   rating: 100  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   TheOldSchool

      He’s married to his mother?

      May 18, 2009 at 10:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   fluffy8u

      No, I’m sure he’s not living with her. She’s living with him. There’s a difference.

      Any 48 year old tweaker could see that.

      May 19, 2009 at 3:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Mishee™ bang

      “For the last time… It’s a Carriage House!!”

      May 19, 2009 at 3:41 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   fluffy8u

      Just because you say it, doesn’t make it so. Because if that was the case, I’d be a millionaire.

      And a ninja.

      May 19, 2009 at 10:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Rhiannon

    Team Mother on this one.
    She’s obviously cool enough to let her son and his immature friend smoke cigarettes and bum around the garage all night… the least they can do is clean up after themselves.

    May 18, 2009 at 10:07 pm   rating: 82  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Neeners

      Peeing on the fence is disrespectful and to make up for the faux pas the son should cut his mom in on a percentage of the meth profits sold out of her garage.

      May 19, 2009 at 1:45 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   fluffy8u

      But she doesn’t know that he’s a dealer. Right now, she’s just a little annoyed. But if she knew that he was dealing and peeing on her fence, then she’d demand that she get a cut.

      If she doesn’t know, than he can get all the profit himself. See how that works? If she’s mad, that’s okay, at least he gets all the cash.

      May 19, 2009 at 3:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   oi bang

    What is this? Haven’t you heard of decency?

    May 18, 2009 at 10:20 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    Doesn’t it get warm in California?

    You’d think that 5 to 7 guys could pool their funds and buy a damned bucket!!

    …and a few large ashtrays…

    May 18, 2009 at 10:22 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   BrookeDiz bang

      When her 3 sons were much younger than LanMom’s and her house was the neighborhood kid magnet, a friend of mine kept a coffee can in the garage and emptied it (against the fence?) every night. She preferred that to taking a fire hose to the guest bathroom every day.

      May 19, 2009 at 5:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   K Dog

      Ew.

      May 21, 2009 at 2:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    But Mom, I read there are wildfires! The guys and I were just protecting your investment!!

    May 18, 2009 at 10:24 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   anglophile bang

      I heard pissing around your property keeps away the cougars, too.

      Which is why these guys have to spend their time playing on the computer instead of finding attractive older women to “date”.

      May 19, 2009 at 6:40 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   DearJane

      So there are some hot middle aged women prowling around the fence? They could start a documentary “See how the lead cougar applys her lipstick in such a way that it does not creep into the lines surrounding her mouth, hitches up her skirt that is made for a much younger woman, and starts in on her prey…..”

      May 19, 2009 at 8:58 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   MsDolfinn

      If there was a hot middle aged woman prowling around the fence do you think these guys would be trying to keep her away?? Let alone be able to pee in front of her?

      May 19, 2009 at 11:37 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   much to my chagrin bang

      They play WOW, so there’s a good chance that a hot woman would scare them as much as an actual cougar would.

      May 19, 2009 at 12:13 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   Eric bang

      Who would want to keep away an sweet Mercury with the electric shaver grille, wood-graining and a 390 4-barrel? That is so disrepectful to me & Ford Motor Co. What the hell, Eric!

      May 19, 2009 at 7:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   oi bang

    Mom has really tried to make this note PA worthy: six sentences and five exclamation marks, random capitalization, underlines and above all, piss, butts and hell in a single note. She almost gets 7/10.
    but son’s actions are so outrageous, mom’s note actually scores zero!

    May 18, 2009 at 10:27 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   fluffy8u

      Yes, but it’s on stationary!!! Doesn’t that count for anything?

      May 19, 2009 at 3:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   GhostWriter bang

      It counts for nothing.

      …because it isn’t on stationary.

      May 19, 2009 at 4:28 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   fluffy8u

      Aww… boo for pointing out my bad spelling.

      What if it was on stationery?

      May 19, 2009 at 4:41 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   ClickClack bang

      Then it would be a read (pronounced red) letter day for you, Fluffer.

      May 19, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   fluffy8u

      I don’t have a comeback, so I will merely stick my tongue out, like the bad-spelling-child that I am.
      :-P

      May 19, 2009 at 5:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   TheOldSchool

    Mom’s angry because Eric and his guy pals are always in the garage. Even when its 100 degrees plus outside, she can’t even get one of them into the swimming pool.

    May 18, 2009 at 11:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   fluffy8u

      Nah, they’re in Riverside. The garage is air conditioned.

      May 19, 2009 at 3:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   BrookeDiz bang

      TOS,

      Then LanMom would have to make a sign:

      “We don’t swim in your toilet, so don’t pee in our pool.”

      May 19, 2009 at 5:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   aaa

    Chris in Riverside and his friends sound like gross, weasley douche-fuckers who need their asses repeatedly kicked by their mothers. Especially Eric’s mother. She seems like she’d do a really good job at it.

    May 18, 2009 at 11:14 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Joe bang

      But it’s Kyle’s mom who is the real bitch. She’s the biggest bitch in the whole wide world.

      May 19, 2009 at 8:50 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Clumber

      ♫She’s a mean ole’ bitch if there ever was a bitch, she a bitch to all the boys and girls! YAH!! Monday she’s a bitch, and tuesday she’s a bitch, and wednesday through saturday she’s a bitch… then on Sunday just to be different she’s a super mega mega bEEEOTCH!♫♪

      And the sad thing is… i didn’t have to look it up. And I haven’t seen SP prob in a year. I shame myself.

      Hey Eric, can you give me your address? I really need to pee…

      May 19, 2009 at 4:19 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Stacy

    Ah, the rationalization of (semi) youth. Yes, because your mother is going to be so thrilled that you choose to stain her fence instead of going in the toilet because you’re saving water! Aren’t you special? Of course, I don’t think her *grass* is going to be so happy.

    May 18, 2009 at 11:18 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   fluffy8u

      Hey, they’re being green, are you?

      May 19, 2009 at 3:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Stacy

      I commend the idea that they are saving water but, as someone above said, you can go in the toilet over and over on one flush as long as it’s only number one. Plus, urine is notoriously bad for lawns; that’s why most people don’t like dogs peeing on their lawns.

      May 20, 2009 at 10:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Stacy

      To answer your question, I try to be green. All my light fixtures have the swirly light bulbs, I cook organic when I can, I recycle, etc. As I said, the *idea* is great. The execution leaves something to be desired.

      May 21, 2009 at 3:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   sam

    go team water conservation! (seriously.)

    May 18, 2009 at 11:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   aaa

    Dear Chris in Riverside,

    Loser too-obsessed-with-gaming fence-pissers don’t get fucked. Gaming in and of itself isn’t a problem. However, it is a problem when it becomes a substitute for normal human social skills and the ability to interact with society at large. Obviously you haven’t figured out the whole acceptable behavior thing if you can rationalize pissing on your friend’s mother’s fence. If you want to get laid by a normal, not-gross/not-douchey human, you need to cut that shit the fuck out. If you’re asexual, have taken a vow of celibacy, or have resorted to the family dog or your friends, I suppose this isn’t a problem.

    Sincerely,
    aaa

    May 18, 2009 at 11:31 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   mamason bang

      Dear aaa on PAN,

      Losers too-obsessed-with- notes written about gaming fence-pissers don’t get fucked. :-?

      Trust me.

      I know. :-| *sigh*

      May 18, 2009 at 11:46 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   aaa

      No problem there. I’m a robot with no genetalia or genetalia-like hardware, so there’s nothing to fuck. :D Or am I a zombie? Hm. Either way, I don’t want to be fucked by weird kids with zombie fetishes.

      May 19, 2009 at 12:04 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   fluffy8u

      Sorry, another unfunny comment comparing aaa and Ken.

      I think somebody stole my sence of humor.

      May 19, 2009 at 3:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Clumber

      but can you assure us that you are fully functional?

      Tasha Yar = yummy.

      May 19, 2009 at 4:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   Eric bang

      My favorite robot bangs washing machines, jukeboxes, even Herbie the Love Bug!!

      Thx Matt & Seth!

      May 19, 2009 at 8:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   leftfoot

    Oh, LANers.

    The only thing worse are Magic players.

    May 19, 2009 at 12:00 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   agatha christie

      A close third would be Dungeon and Dragon-ers.

      May 19, 2009 at 12:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   AuntyBron

      Hold up there, Aggie. I’m a long time D&Der and let me tell you. We use a proper toilet, police our area and are otherwise nice, law-abiding devil-worshippers.

      May 19, 2009 at 11:33 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   GhostWriter bang

      Unfair! The Magic players are kicking ass in the Eastern NBA Conference.

      May 19, 2009 at 4:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   fluffy8u

      Sorry, I agree with Aunty. Not a D&Der, but at least they don’t spend their whole lives playing (they are also studing their physics text books and aspiring to write for Futurama).

      May 19, 2009 at 4:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   agatha christie

      See Aunty, that’s why a D&Ders are third. They were only a mere unsettling presence in my local university study hangout. They had to leave sometime and surely had something else to do (like studying their physics books and aspiring to write for Futurama).

      May 19, 2009 at 8:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Brooser

    I’m gonna be optimistic and point out that maybe Chris in Riverside was trying to be considerate by not waking his mother with a bajillion toilet flushes throughout the night. Maybe he thought she’d rather get sleep… guess not! But no, the “multiple uses before flushing” idea seems to work alright. Or you could get your own place…

    Also, ashtrays would be good. That shit is nasty, especially for those who actually have to pick it up. -_- Volunteer work sucks, especially since most people don’t give a damn about littering.

    May 19, 2009 at 12:20 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Canthz_B bang

      But, what about the Marigolds?! Who is going to stand up for the Marigolds?!!

      May 19, 2009 at 3:03 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Sirius¤ bang

      Just a guess:

      “Volunteer work” = “Court-ordered community service in lieu of being sodomized in county lockup”

      You got off light, Brooser — and you probably look good in orange. Just pick up the trash.

      May 19, 2009 at 12:18 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   fluffy8u

      Brooser, I think you failed with the whole “optimistic” thing at the end there with the ciggie butts.

      May 19, 2009 at 4:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   Brooser

      @Sirius: …uhm, no. “volunteer work” = working with my freshman community service organization. As VP, I’ve gotta set a good example I guess.

      @CB: …my god, you’re right. The flower beds under the fence are the real victims here. Why are we so concerned about the mother? It’s not as if she’s the one being peed on. *goes off to make picket signs*

      May 19, 2009 at 6:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   agatha christie

      Littering and… littering and…

      May 19, 2009 at 8:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.6   much to my chagrin bang

      Smoking the reefer!

      May 19, 2009 at 9:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   unholyghost2003 bang

    At least it isn’t LARP?

    May 19, 2009 at 1:14 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   shmunk

    chris and eric– i hope that all that time spent “socializing” in a garage causes your testicles to shrivel up. not that anyone really sees them.

    May 19, 2009 at 2:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   ohyeeeeah

    7 ner.. computer specialists. Night after night, pissing outside the garage. No water faucet for miles.

    I would not dare to use any of those keyboards or eating from that bowl of snack….

    May 19, 2009 at 2:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Canthz_B bang

    I don’t understand LANers…they get so pissy about things!

    May 19, 2009 at 2:55 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Jim

    His mom should have grabbed his hand and forced him to slap his own face while saying “Stop slapping yourself, Nerd. Stop slapping yourself, Nerd.”

    LAN centre – Humph. GEEK centre more like.

    May 19, 2009 at 4:37 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Geek Goddess

      I’m in with that.

      Just sayin’

      May 19, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Dangger

    That is just plain aggressive lol!

    May 19, 2009 at 6:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   pegolas

    Eric has never even touched a boobie.

    May 19, 2009 at 7:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Clumber

      prolly not since being breast-fed… like 4 years ago.

      May 19, 2009 at 4:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   anglophile bang

    I like how mom starts out in all-caps mode, then switches to random capitalization. By the time she makes it to his name the second time, he has sunk so low as to not deserve to have his name capitalized.

    May 19, 2009 at 7:53 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Fraulein N

      I don’t know why, but that’s my favorite part. It’s like she’s given up.

      May 19, 2009 at 10:44 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   TTMS

    That is gross. I’m on the understandably aggressive mother’s side on this one.

    May 19, 2009 at 8:05 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   mamason bang

      I’m still on the fence with this one. :-|

      May 19, 2009 at 12:48 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Shadow Lurker

      Mama – I’d watch where you sit on that fence. While it may be fun for a little while, make sure you are out of the “splash” zone.

      May 19, 2009 at 2:25 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Phalange

    Great, now I’m gonna have the “Don’t Whiz On the Electric Fence!” song from Ren and Stimpy stuck in my head the entire day.

    May 19, 2009 at 8:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Mishee™ bang

      I was wondering if anyone else was gonna make the Ren & Stimpy reference or if I was gonna have to do it.

      *wanders away humming The Log Song*

      May 19, 2009 at 8:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   secondsout bang

      Underrated, but in my opinion, the best Ren & Stimpy song was the one about hangings:

      The Lord loves a hangin’
      That’s why he gave us necks
      It loosens up our vocal cords
      and tightens up our pecks

      May 19, 2009 at 6:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   kmd

    What in the hot fuck is “lanning?”

    Is that a new code word for circle jerks?

    May 19, 2009 at 8:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   anglophile bang

      psst, kmd.

      kerry provided a helpful link in the introduction. give it a whirl. ;)

      (although I suspect your guess may not be far off…)

      May 19, 2009 at 8:52 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   claw71 bang

      Glo, people can’t be troubled with reading those things. It’s all a mad dash to see who can get into the thread and be the first person to drop an tired old joke in the mix. I’m surpised we havent’ seen those energy drinks were fucking delicious, yet

      May 19, 2009 at 11:03 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   Joe bang

      No, energy drinks are nasty. But having 400 babies? Yeah, that was pretty awesome. Too bad they got deported to Kenya.

      May 19, 2009 at 11:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.4   mamason bang

      never mind

      May 19, 2009 at 1:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.5   fluffy8u

      Thank you, Terry.

      May 19, 2009 at 5:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.6   agatha christie

      Take caution, Joe, it may contain Anna Kournakova.

      May 19, 2009 at 8:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   stickman

    Lanning is geek talk. It is a code word for smoking that maryjuana stuff and surfing for porn. They sit around and drink Rockstar and wonder what a real girl feels like.

    May 19, 2009 at 8:52 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   DearJane

      A real girl? Up until now they have been using artificial girls? :shock:

      May 19, 2009 at 9:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   VentureSister

      No, no, no, Jane. Stickman means the ‘Real Girl Lovedolls‘. You think they could actually work up the balls to even TALK about a human woman? Hells no. They have a hard enough time getting it up for those Japanese robots girls.

      May 19, 2009 at 3:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Brade

    I assume this “Eric” is Eric Cartman.
    I’m sure his mom would be willing to bring down a portable toilet from time to time.

    May 19, 2009 at 9:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   fluffy8u

      Lol. Was wondering when that would come up.

      My bro-in-law is a WoWer. He bought that season just so he can watch that episode while he plays WoW at 3 am.

      May 19, 2009 at 5:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   andipandi

    team mom. just gross.

    May 19, 2009 at 9:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Gunderson105

    These Gamers suck.
    Real gamers don’t smoke and pee on fences, they wear Depends and get sugar rushes via Pixie sticks and Mountain Dew.

    May 19, 2009 at 9:33 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   fluffy8u

      Your wrong. It’s gold fish and WoW themed Mountain Dew.

      May 19, 2009 at 5:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   Brooser

      mmmmmm… Goldfish.

      May 19, 2009 at 6:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.3   fluffy8u

      SEE?!?! I told you!!!

      May 19, 2009 at 9:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.4   Brooser

      Yeah, but I also seem to be one of the only WoWers who isn’t big on Mountain Dew. =\

      Dr. Pepper, on the other hand… =D

      May 20, 2009 at 1:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   claw71 bang

    Well, mom, what did you expect when you let your good-for-nothing son clear out your garage and relegate you to parking on the street? What did you think was going to happen when he dropped out of UCLA and decided to take online course to complete the degree he worked on for six years–after taking 18 months off to think about his options?

    Sometimes you’ve got to be cruel to be kind, momma. Kick Eric out and let him set up his LAN center in a dinged-up trailer outside of Bakersfield. It won’t be easy but eventually Eric will learn to trade his cigarettes for ramen noodles and one confrontation with the biker next door who takes Eric’s outdoor urinary practices as a signs of disrespect will have him on the fast track to wearing big boy pants.

    May 19, 2009 at 10:01 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   much to my chagrin bang

      A man, a LAN, a PAN, a plan.

      May 19, 2009 at 9:54 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Woman on the Verge bang

    Apparently Mom didn’t understand that the boys were just marking their territory…

    May 19, 2009 at 10:18 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Geek Goddess

      Actually, WotV, they were marking out HER territory. And nobody gets away with pissing on Mom’s territory. Nobody.

      May 19, 2009 at 2:29 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   claw71 bang

    After further review I think I have to call out Chris. Chris identifies Eric as a friend. A friend who lives wiht his mom, pisses on the fence because he’s too lazy to go use the bathroom and doesn’t see the need to pick up cigarette butts. I love how Chris tries to justify pissing on the fence as though it’s some sort of ecological favor his doing for all of us but yet there are cigarette butts are strewn about. That proves that these guys are just a bunch of lazy dorks who probably can’t wait for the next remake of Tomb Raider so they can start jerking off on the fence as well. Oh Lara, Oh, Oh!

    I’d have a lot more respect for Chis if he would have qualified his relationship with Eric by using the phrase “a dude I know” but Chris chose “friend”. That means Chris is a bigger loser than Eric because at least Eric has the balls to be a loser on his home turf where he invokes his mother’s wrath.

    Where’s a drive-by when you need it?

    PS: Who wants to bet that “morning” in Chris’ and Eric’s world is some time before 3:30PM?

    May 19, 2009 at 11:00 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   TheOldSchool

    At leasht thish family’sh decishishive. There’sh no one sitting on the fence.

    May 19, 2009 at 11:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   park rose

      Decisive and dysfunctional, if that’s possible. And no sitting on the fence, cos we all know the dysfunctional family shits together, in the house, behind closed doors.

      May 19, 2009 at 12:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.2   anglophile bang

      I was supposed to hear that in Sean Connery’s voice, yes?

      May 19, 2009 at 3:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.3   fluffy8u

      That’s how I heard it.

      May 19, 2009 at 5:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.4   ashmeadow

      Hmm…for some reason I heard Daffy Duck.

      May 19, 2009 at 6:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.5   ClickClack bang

      Just relaying a message from my friend, Daffy:
      Lithen, athmeadow, I’m gettin’ thick an’ tired of you conthtantly thuggethting that I’m the voith in your head. It’th prepothterouth! You need thychoanalythith!

      May 19, 2009 at 6:31 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.6   fluffy8u

      Ew… duck spit.

      May 19, 2009 at 9:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Army of DOuche-ness

    This seems a bit out of line: pissing on a fence is not technically a dis-respect in any way.

    1. Urine is sterile and largely water -it harms nothing (sidenote: the main chemical besides water in urine, urea, is a popular product used in anti-fungal or athlete’s foot/foot odor products)
    2. they actually ARE saving water, which is important
    3. i think women sometimes think it’s gross just because they don’t have a lifetime of experience in non-chalant, piss on anything, experience…or they’re just mad/jealous.

    May 19, 2009 at 11:20 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   Team Mom

      If there’s a lawn there, the urine is going to ruin it.

      Team mom either way.

      May 19, 2009 at 12:14 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.2   MsDolfinn bang

      Of course I’m mad jealous. Do you know how many times I have tried to pee my name in the snow???

      That sh*ts mad hard yo.

      May 19, 2009 at 1:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.3   ClickClack bang

      Tough to dot the i, eh?

      May 19, 2009 at 1:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.4   TheOldSchool

      AoD has a point. You hardly ever see women peeing on fences.

      (Aside from gymnasts, circus performers, and beer- drinking sorority girls who are high on acid.)

      May 19, 2009 at 1:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.5   MsDolfinn

      Sadly it all looks like the dot on the i.

      May 19, 2009 at 2:05 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.6   The Other Leanne

      1. Pissing on property that doesn’t belong to you (oh! it belongs to YOUR MOTHER–even better!) is disrespectful.
      2. Well, urine is sterile unless you have a kidney or other urinary tract infection; given these boys are sitting in one spot for long periods of time, probably lacking in hygiene and proper diet, “holding it” so they don’t interrupt the damned game, I’m guessing not so much on the sterile side of things.
      And once it hits the fence and ground, it becomes a bacterial swimming pool.
      3. Women think it’s gross because it is gross.

      May 19, 2009 at 5:45 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.7   Sirius¤ bang

      4. And it makes your yard smell like hobo mattress.

      May 20, 2009 at 11:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.8   protip

      you’re retarded if you think urine is sterile and harmless. It’s sterile when it’s in the bladder but on its way out of the body it picks up a large amount of bacteria. it’s just as unhealthy as taking a huge shit on their yard. It’s also not largely water. It’s corrosive and acidic, that’s why most UTI tests test acid levels.

      most dudes I know would think it’s disgusting too, mainly because they were potty trained before they reached adulthood. What’s your excuse?

      Jun 14, 2009 at 10:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.9   GK bang

      I guess someone pissed in protip’s cornflakes this morning.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 3:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   anonymrs

    Have you ever SEEN what cigarette smoke does to the inside of a computer? *SHUDDER*

    May 19, 2009 at 11:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   DearJane

      Is it almost as bad as what cat hair does to the inside of a computer?

      May 19, 2009 at 12:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.2   Clumber

      WORSE. Car hair causes a burning hair mixed with overheated electronics smell… but I take that 5000000 times over stale, concentrated cigarette smoke. And I bet they smoke the cheap shit, too… it smells even worse. A friend of mine once gave up ‘regular’ cigarettes for these cheap ones… I am not a smoker so was totally clueless if it would be way out of line or even evil to beg her to let me buy her smokes JUST to get rid of that HORRIBLE STENCH. PTSD! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Shit or get off the pot. Buy smokes that don’t make me hurl or get a gdamnned patch!

      Team Cat hair, odd as that sounds.

      May 19, 2009 at 4:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.3   April

      haha My husband had to help our friends fix their computer. These friends smoked like fiends and had three cats. OH MY GOD! The computer was so nasty. It was just oh my god………..

      May 22, 2009 at 2:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   ClickClack bang

    And how did Eric’s mom discover their wrongdoing? She saw it all on streaming video.

    May 19, 2009 at 12:36 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Actually a Girl

    Maybe it’s b/c I’m a girl…but back in high school when we had LAN parties/D&D late night at my mom’s we just flushed the toilet…it’s not like mom didn’t know we were there…

    I kinda want to know *why* he didn’t feel like he could flush the toilet? I mean, if mom’s going to let him keep living with her and have LAN parties in the garage, she should probably be okay with constant toilet use…

    May 19, 2009 at 1:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Not A Mom

    I’d electrify the motherfucking fence. Dat shit is nasty.

    May 19, 2009 at 4:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Eric bang

    In my garage it was Dean guitars, Peavey amps and pot. Roaches were rolled and smoked, and piss might’ve been all over the toilet, but never generated a note from mom.

    Team Rocker/Stoner Erics!!

    May 19, 2009 at 4:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   oi!

    “my friend eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage”
    what caught my eye when I first read it, was word “essentially”. I speculate two theories:
    1. Chris meant to say: Eric has essentially a “LAN center ” consisting of two eighties desktop ( they had those in eighties, right?) fitted with 3D monster maze.
    2. Eric’s last name is “essentially”.
    Any other theories guys?

    May 19, 2009 at 5:40 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   Lee

      Here’s my theory:-

      3. All Erics, by their very nature have LAN centres.

      Must be true. I’ll show my workings..

      I don’t know anyone that owns a LAN centre, I also know no one called Eric. assuming LAN centres exist, they must all be owned by Erics.. Flawless.

      May 20, 2009 at 6:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   Lee

    I was WonderinG, HoW to use CaPs in my NOtEs… ApparEntly, they’rE uSeD randomlY….. Quite coMMon in PANs

    May 20, 2009 at 6:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   The Stabbing Pen

    Pissing on trees is fine, other peoples’ property not so much. I’m a big fan of outdoor urination in general though. Very liberating.

    May 20, 2009 at 12:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   wolfpack

    Show me a PA note from a mom to her kids, and I’ll show you kids that weren’t hit hard enough growing up.

    May 20, 2009 at 1:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Anythingelseisavoteforbears

    what the hell, eric.

    May 22, 2009 at 3:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   sianz

    i would secretly piss on his LAN equipment and computers.

    May 31, 2009 at 9:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Uncle B

    Soon, All Yankee Doodle Dandies will pis in bottles and sell it for fertilizer for you veggie gardens! The price of oil, per bbl is on the exponential rise again! Fertilizers made from, and with, petroleum products are about to go through the roof, unemployment is rising fast, underemployment faster, but count on it, you are still worth pis, just keep it diluted and in the garden where it helps stave off the coming great hunger!

    May 31, 2009 at 3:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   orangetiki

    You worry about flushing the toilet too many times? What the hell?

    Jun 1, 2009 at 3:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Missing Lunch

    /me makes mental note to never drink the Mountain Dew at a gamer’s house.

    Jun 29, 2009 at 10:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   Civil diso-brattiness | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Cigarettes & energy drinks [...]

    Nov 28, 2010 at 2:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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