Tap tap revenge

May 19th, 2009 · 158 comments

Our anonymous submitter found this on his keyboard at work one morning. His sheepish explanation? “I guess I really get into the music on my iPod…”

Admittedly, the note-writer has a point — that shit is annoying, yo! — but the contrarian in me still thinks the rest of the office needs to chip in and get our submitter a set of these.

Please stop tapping your pencil and or pen on your desk....It is annoyingly disruptive to concentration...

related: Suck on this!

FILED UNDER: Arizona · music · noise · office · Scottsdale


158 responses so far ↓

  • #1   park rose

    Pleasingly disruptive to concentration is what? I’m throwing it out there…

    May 19, 2009 at 11:40 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   TheOldSchool

      Rose, I can show you.

      First, I’ll need to know if there is enough space underneath your desk for an adult male to make himself comfortable for 15 minutes, or so?

      May 19, 2009 at 11:51 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   park rose bang

      How’d I know you’d come running you scurrilous scoundrel? I don’t get what you mean either, of course (crosses legs, adjusts chastity belt ) ;) I don’t know what scurrilous nor scoundrel means for that matter. I just like the sound of them.

      *Polishes the patds crown currently on loan from ‘glo. must not tarnish, as all costs*

      *Goes off to sharpen some pencils*

      May 20, 2009 at 12:05 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   TheOldSchool

      On top of the desk is fine, too.

      May 20, 2009 at 12:28 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   park rose bang

      You’ve got to get past the unicorn. And would you please stop tapping your pen… on my desk! You’re driving me to distraction.

      What’s that boss? Time to get back to work? Right you are…

      May 20, 2009 at 12:42 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   snee

      umm yeah, so i don’t think that was his pencil he was tapping…

      May 20, 2009 at 2:34 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Canthz_B bang

      As long as you’re throwing it out there, rose, I want a piece of your pie!
      I’ll pleasingly disrupt you plenty! :-P

      May 20, 2009 at 2:48 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   park rose

      Stop now. I’m trying to annoyingly concentrate.

      May 20, 2009 at 3:16 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   park rose bang

      Oh, ToS. Despite the unmitigated and wildly distracting disruption you provided me with (who coulda guessed you knew how to disassemble the chastity belt) I am muffed miffed that your comment count is out-thumbsing mine. Indeed. Once the fall guy-tress, always the fall guy-tress *sigh*

      May 20, 2009 at 11:18 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   oi bang

    Please stop putting anonymous and printed notes on my desk.
    It’s annoyingly disruptive to healthy office atmosphere and environment….

    May 20, 2009 at 12:29 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   TheOldSchool

      The note-writer could have just sent a text message.

      (Or simply broken all his pencils.)

      (Or merely coated the pencils and pens with crazy glue.)

      (Or leave a small aquarium on his desk. In it there’s just one dead fish with Keith Moon’s face tattooed onto its side. It could be skewered with a pencil. as well, but why beat a dead horse?)

      (Or accidentally spilled a crock pot full of scalding hot roofing tar onto his hands.)

      (Or innocently “trip” while walking past his computer with a chainsaw.)

      But … no. Someone just “had” to leave a paper note. Someone must really hate trees.

      Sad. There are sick some people out there.

      They disgust me.

      May 20, 2009 at 1:52 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Officepeon

      Or tuna juiced his chair.

      May 20, 2009 at 1:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   ClickClack bang

      That’ll make him change his tuna in a hurry.

      May 20, 2009 at 2:10 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Oh lordy, I just don’t have the sole to do this again…I mean I used up all my good lines fishing around the bicycle post.

      May 20, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   ClickClack bang

      You go, gill!

      May 20, 2009 at 2:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Eric bang

      Instead of your tapping your pencil and or pen on your desk…

      Annoyingly disrupt your concentration on one of these…

      http://www.lagooner.com/fish-species/index.php?species_id=4

      May 20, 2009 at 2:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Girl Friday

      (or type everything in unnecessary parenthesis)

      “Even more annoying, put everything in unnecessary quotation marks!”

      May 20, 2009 at 9:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Brooser

    Just to be spiteful, Mr. Anonymous should totally bring in a set of drums to the office. What? The note-writer just mentioned the desk…

    May 20, 2009 at 1:27 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   KatieMB

      Or… he can tap on someone else’s desk. The note writer only requested that he not tap on his *own* desk……..

      May 20, 2009 at 6:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Marklar

    Marklar!

    May 20, 2009 at 2:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Canthz_B bang

      ORIGINAL!!!!! Oh, wait…

      I hear his comment in parrot-voice!
      Kind of makes it bearable!!! LOL

      May 20, 2009 at 2:25 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   KatieMB

      It fits in this topic, since it’s annoyingly disruptive to my concentration.

      Ooops, forgot the ellipsis…

      May 20, 2009 at 6:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Sue Do Nim

      I hear it in the Aflak duck voice, only more annoyingly nasal.

      May 20, 2009 at 4:57 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    Did I ever say I was Ringo Starr? Deal with it! Just like I deal with your disgusting perfume, which you must re-apply hourly!!!!!

    May 20, 2009 at 2:23 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   KatieMB

      I used to have to sit next to an annoyingly disruptive gum chewer. How I wish I had left her a PAN like this one! But the wimp in me merely asked her to stop her incessant annoyingly disruptive gum chewing. She got mad and turned to tapping her pencil instead.

      May 20, 2009 at 6:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   park rose bang

      Are you sure she wasn’t tapping your pencil? That she wasn’t recruited by Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales? I hear they employed all manner of annoyingly disruptive ways of interrupting concentration.

      May 20, 2009 at 8:35 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Goldie

      Yah, guilty as charged. I reapply my perfume each time I smell another one of your farts in my cubicle. What’s a girl to do?

      May 20, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   se

      wait, Goldie, are you Marcie in the cubicle next to me?

      May 20, 2009 at 2:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    I’ll trade you a pen tapper for an Aretha Franklin wannabe any day!

    ♫ Whatchoo want? Baby I got it! ♫ ain’t always very enticing!

    May 20, 2009 at 2:31 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   park rose bang

      Does the ‘white-girl’s overbite‘ dance. Actually, I’ve only heard it applied to males, but you should get the picture.
      One of my friends excels at this kind of dancing. I love him dearly. Bless his heart.

      May 20, 2009 at 8:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Clumber

      See?? SEE??? It’s notes like this that have caused me so much inner strife on these internetty tube thingies… do I dare click linky?

      Nope. Cannot do it. Nope. Yet I still find myself so annoyingly distracted…

      May 20, 2009 at 4:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    WTF is an “or pen”?
    Why are they playing Concentration when they should be working?

    May 20, 2009 at 2:34 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Geek Goddesss

      Orpen or closed, it’s all the same in the office…

      May 20, 2009 at 3:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   park rose bang

      Child services have been notified, Cb. The way they treat children without parents, nowadays… it breaks your heart.

      May 20, 2009 at 8:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   MsDolfinn

      Personally I would be more distracted by the muted sobs of the orpen.

      May 20, 2009 at 10:21 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    Maybe anonymous would have taken this more seriously if concentration had just come over and asked nicely.

    May 20, 2009 at 2:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Act

      That was my first thought when I read it. What’s with the weird phrasing? Why not just say, “It’s annoying?”

      May 20, 2009 at 1:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   fluffy8u

      CB, I agree. Why go through a third person, Concentration? Can’t you be assertive enough to confront the tapper yourself?

      May 20, 2009 at 4:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   snee

    it’s really not so bad until “in the air tonight”. double pencils everyone:

    DOO-DOO
    DOO-DOO
    DOO-DOO
    DOO-DOO
    DOO
    TCHCCCCCCCCH!

    May 20, 2009 at 2:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Geek Goddesss

      Miss Hoover, I ate my pencil!

      May 20, 2009 at 3:10 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   park rose bang

      Wow, the way you transcribed that, Snee, was really graphite.

      May 20, 2009 at 8:50 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Phalange

      I agree, it was so graphite I almost left a #2 in my pants.

      May 20, 2009 at 8:59 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   mamason bang

      It’s led me to want to sharpen my drumming skills.

      May 20, 2009 at 8:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   Beanster bang

      * well if you told me you were Concentration
      I would not still my hand
      I have tapped on my desk before my friend
      and I know that you know who I am
      *

      (can’t remember music notes and or pen is too lazy to look them up)

      May 20, 2009 at 9:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   TTMS

    It’s the ellipsis… that really upset me.

    Just use a full stop, people…

    May 20, 2009 at 4:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   KatieMB

      Guess they’re too annoyingly disrupted by the tapping to know when or how to use a period or exclamation mark.

      May 20, 2009 at 6:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      That wasn’t an ellipsis – it was where the writer was compelled to drum along with the pencil tapping.

      May 20, 2009 at 7:48 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Evil Homer

      Please stop your use of ellipses and or your lack of a / between “and” and “or”…

      It is annoyingly disruptive to my reading of your PA note…

      May 20, 2009 at 10:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Clumber

      The PA part of it *is* the ellipsis though! (At least it is better than not closing off your parenthetical…

      May 20, 2009 at 4:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   fluffy8u

      I’m not sure if I can agree… although tappers are annoying… is it really fair to group ellipsis users with them… ?

      May 20, 2009 at 4:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Dangger

    Some people can’t handle the fact that they need absolute silence to do stuff and they try to make it other people’s problem.

    May 20, 2009 at 6:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   park rose bang

      Surgeon: Can you turn off that Goddamn Ramstein! I can’t even hear if this patient’s got a heartbeat!

      Lackey: Screw you and your uptight need for silence to do your job! I know my rights! I’ve got a tambourine, and I know how to use it!

      *Gives the tambourine an angry, defiant shake, and then hits the triangle for good measure. Patient flatlines*

      Btw – anyone in the “school orchestra “ever given the job of hitting the triangle in the school orchestra”? Guess you didn’t have “music or rhythm” (jerkily raises hand).

      May 20, 2009 at 9:00 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Eric bang

      Du hast mich gefragt!

      NEIN!

      May 20, 2009 at 5:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   much to my chagrin bang

    Someone who has time to write a PAN complaining about the noise has more free time than he or she is letting on.

    May 20, 2009 at 6:54 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Fresca

      Wow, you must be a REALLY slow typist!

      May 20, 2009 at 10:54 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Wade bang

    I would rather listen to pencil and or pen tapping than the clickety clack of that cheap keyboard.

    May 20, 2009 at 7:10 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   N/A

      Agreed. I haven’t owned a desktop computer in about 7 years so whenever I have to use a typical free standing keyboard that noise drives me crazy.

      May 20, 2009 at 7:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   park rose bang

      I know. Those typical free standing keyboards can be so damn uppity.

      May 20, 2009 at 8:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   CS harmonikah

      Office noise usually doesnt bother me(…)
      but i did work with a copywriter who would slam the punctuation key at the end of each sentence, because he was so proud of what he’d written. That got annoying quick.

      May 20, 2009 at 8:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   claw71 bang

      I leanred how to type on one of those old school typewriters. Not the electric IBM kind, but an ancient thing that had the letters stamped onto arms that were actuated by a lever mechanism attached to the keys. You had to follow through on each stroke and because some of the letters and symbols were attached to long arms, you really had to attack those keys with authority. As a result it sounds like a construction project when I’m working on a document. The key board I’m using right now is my third one in two years and the letters have been worn off some of the keys. I’ve tried to break myself of this tendency, but old habbits die hard. At least I’ve stopped reaching for the carriage return. That made people nervous.

      May 20, 2009 at 9:10 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   anglophile bang

      I feel so old for not needing to have a non-electric typewriter described for me. I suppose there’s plenty of PAN readers who have never actually used a typewriter. :|

      May 20, 2009 at 10:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   park rose bang

      Old hobbits die hard, too, if the Elves don’t relieve them.

      May 20, 2009 at 10:19 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.7   park rose bang

      Glo, you know how it goes… back in the day there were plenty of people with refrigerators who had never had ice delivered, and plenty of people who used telephones who had never sent a telegraph… time waits for no man, nor woman…

      May 20, 2009 at 10:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.8   MsDolfinn

      Wondering what it would be like to be attacked with authority. :smile:

      May 20, 2009 at 10:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.9   CS harmonikah

      I remember when cell phones were giant, and only Wall Street employees and Zach Morris had them.

      May 20, 2009 at 10:28 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.10   park rose bang

      I remember when giants planted bean stalks! Or at least their friend Jack did. And they had a secret language which enable them to dominate the world. Fe-Fo-Fi-Fum…Until Jack cracked the code… and then they were left up in the sky without a stalk! Maybe Obama could learn something from those conflicted times.

      May 20, 2009 at 10:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.11   park rose bang

      13.8
      Respect my Authoritah“, Claw furiously pounded.

      May 20, 2009 at 11:33 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.12   ClickClack bang

      re 13.6 – I’m sure there’s a Web site where one can watch hard Hobbits being “relieved” by Elves. Happy endings (and cock rings with runic symbols) for all!

      May 20, 2009 at 2:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.13   N/A

      You can do it Claw! I learned to type on a Brother typewriter and I haven’t broken a keyboard in years. My thumping drove my hubby up the wall so he bugged me about it till I started typing more softly.

      May 20, 2009 at 3:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.14   Beanster bang

      im a youngster but my friend had an old typewriter like that in her basement. it’s only dawning on me now that that could be the reason i just have scraped plastic where me “e”, “a” and “d” should be. i type with my nails. i am THAT annoying office worker. (luckily I don’t work in an office)

      May 20, 2009 at 9:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.15   Canthz_B bang

      Electric and electronic typewriters robbed us of that one letter that was always either higher or lower than all of the others throughout an entire document.
      A whole slew of clues to detectives (The ransom note was typed on Cousin Dave’s machine, see the offset LLs in KILL and SMALL BILLS?) has been lost forever!

      May 20, 2009 at 9:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Holiday Djinn

    Is this an office or a library? Come on people, there are plenty of annoying noises in the office over which you have no control.

    The bitch who put this on you desk is just pissed that you can afford an IPOD, and that she cannot. Also, don’t worry about breaking her concentration, all she was doing was trying to beat her personal best on “Bejeweled”. :D

    May 20, 2009 at 7:40 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   N/A

      Hey, that takes a lot of concentration! Do you know how many time a day I have to tell the kid to clear off because mummy is trying to concentrate on her game?

      May 20, 2009 at 8:03 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Woman on the Verge bang

    Now that pencil drumming has been banned, the musically inclined worker is turning to quietly annoying air guitar.

    May 20, 2009 at 7:50 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Holiday Djinn

      Air Trumpet when Chicago’s “9 to 5 or 6 til’ 4″ comes on!

      May 20, 2009 at 12:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Sirius¤ bang

      25?

      May 20, 2009 at 12:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   ClickClack bang

      ‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy!

      May 20, 2009 at 1:00 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   fluffy8u

      FREE BIRD!!!

      May 20, 2009 at 5:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   ClickClack bang

      Bird lives! / Bird is evil!

      May 20, 2009 at 6:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.6   Holiday Djinn

      Knew I should have looked up the title to that song. :-(

      Fail on my part.

      May 21, 2009 at 9:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   CS harmonikah

    The poster needs his or her own ipod.
    If i was distracted by any slight noise anywhere in the office, i wouldnt get any work done either.

    May 20, 2009 at 8:43 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   fluffy8u

      Or ear plugs. Sounds like we have a case of a Whining Wendy.

      May 20, 2009 at 5:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   cheeky

      I don’t get any work done.

      Maybe I should blame it on being distracted by my co-workers talking/coughing/breathing?

      May 25, 2009 at 7:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Mishee™ bang

    At least they didn’t ask them to stop singing along like I’ve been asked in the past…

    May 20, 2009 at 8:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   park rose bang

      You, You light up my life , You give me hope, To carry on.
      You light up my days, and fill my nights with song
      It can’t be wrong, When it feels so right
      ‘Cause You…
      You light up my life

      Cos’ it’s all about, Mishee, right, ain’t it girl?

      May 20, 2009 at 9:11 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Mishee™ bang

      Should I start singing “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails to you rosie?

      May 20, 2009 at 9:45 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   park rose bang

      What are you? A fucking animal? ;)

      May 20, 2009 at 10:05 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      … or an animal fucking? :D

      May 20, 2009 at 10:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   park rose bang

      Is she an animal fucking an animal? That is the question.

      May 20, 2009 at 10:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   ClickClack bang

      peels foe, not a set animal, laminates a tone of sleep

      Blegvad’s kew.rhone palindrome FTW!

      May 20, 2009 at 2:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   park rose

      The things you learn. Thanks, CC. Noam Chomsky meets avante-garde jazz and progressive rock.

      May 20, 2009 at 7:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Eva

    Nothing is worse than a coworker of mine who goes here http://www.bgfl.org/bgfl/custom/resources_ftp/client_ftp/ks2/music/piano/ and plays virtual keyboard ALL DAY.

    May 20, 2009 at 8:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   CS harmonikah

      1. Where do you work that someone can get away with that all day?

      2. How mentally challenged do you have to be to be entertained by that for more than 3 seconds?

      May 20, 2009 at 9:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Eva

      I work for a state government agency and most get away with anything. I am usually listening to my Ipod but sometimes you just want silence!
      I would complain but I spend a good portion of the day surfing the internet and shopping. Why rock the boat?

      As to the second question..well I already said we worked for the government.

      May 20, 2009 at 9:13 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   Clumber

      I also am of State Gubbermint employ, and would happily accept the tapping over my useless minion’s penchant for hippie-yuppy music played just under what I can only describe as the dulcet tones of fucking howler monkeys. I asked him to please use headphones, turn the speakers away from our shared cubicle wall, or maybe just turn it down a tad… in return he complained to HR that I was refusing to accommodate his stress relieving methods, as given by his medical practitioner. Dr. Howler Monkey, I presume.

      And for fuck’s sake, I asked nicely, too. Never going to make that mistake again…

      ♠smoldering anger♠

      May 20, 2009 at 4:46 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   fluffy8u

      KERRY!!! Clumber is refusing to accommodate my peace relieving methods by having “smoldering anger” and using curse words!!!

      Oh! Oh! Oh! Clumber also said that you smell funny.

      May 20, 2009 at 6:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   Clumber bang

      That was a compliment, Kerry!

      Strangely, today at work was morgue quiet. I think my worthless minion is about to be asked to switch employment to “The Dept. of Somewhere Else” soon, my work-aholic minion was offsite today dealing with some raging asshats, my boss was trying to create some exec presentation that kept him delightfully the hell away from me… ahhhh…. The quiet was awesome.

      And Fluff? Do you need anymore exclamation marks, or are you good? I have some extra, owing I am sure to the peaceful workplace today, and you are welcome to them. Commas, though, I am afraid, I always seem to exhaust my supply, early.

      ♥ love pecks ♥

      May 20, 2009 at 8:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   fluffy8u

      !!!!

      May 20, 2009 at 11:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   claw71 bang

    I’m not a big fan of headphones/ear buds at work and people who tap pencils and pens to the rhythm of If U Seek Amy are just the tip of the iceberg. Do you know how many company meetings have been delayed because Nancy didn’t hear the announcement? I’m on a salary, people, when you waste my time I don’t get 1.5 times my base rate to make up the difference. Remember that when you’re trying to figure out why you always seem to park on carpet tacks. I hate i-pods/mp3 players at work.

    It wouldn’t be so bad if we had more fires. This fact dawned on me during our last fire drill. Our designated safety director had to tap two of our most annoying employees on the shoulder because neither of them could hear the alarm over their i-pods. Sadly, fire drills out number actual fires 10 to 1 in this country. We don’t have enough attrition.

    I’m hopeful that things will change. Like Rush Limbaugh, I too am counting on Obama to fail. As the economy continues to falter, cities will be forced to cut back on public safety while companies cut corners when it comes to things like fire prevention. That will create a perfect storm where office infernos become the rule rather than the exception. Only then will we see a reduction in the number of workplace i-pod users.

    May 20, 2009 at 9:02 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   park rose bang

      If that doesn’t work, God’s sure to strike everyone down sooner or later for their idle-otry.

      And, Nancy… that’s what happened during the Reagan era, hey? Well, we all know that Ronald was doddering and deaf and in need of a keeper, who wasn’t Bonzo the chimp…if Nancy didn’t hear the announcement… what could be done?

      May 20, 2009 at 9:18 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   CS harmonikah

    Damn kids and their rock music.
    Back in my day….

    May 20, 2009 at 9:06 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   claw71 bang

      Back in your day people had stronger necks. They had to with a Victrola strapped to either side of their heads.

      May 20, 2009 at 9:12 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Mishee™ bang

      To quote Reverend Lovejoy…

      “”Wait a minute. This looks like rock and/or roll!”

      May 20, 2009 at 9:18 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   Mark bang

      In the garden of eden, honey…
      Don’t you know that I lo-ove you…

      May 20, 2009 at 10:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I remember when we used to make out to this hymn.

      May 20, 2009 at 11:18 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   ClickClack bang

      How old were you when you lost your hymn?

      May 20, 2009 at 12:25 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      At least it was a hymn and not a her.

      May 20, 2009 at 12:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   morpho aurora bang

    anonymous submitter should get a cheap ballpoint pen and click it, without any sort of rhythm. way more annoying than pencil tapping.

    May 20, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   park rose bang

      Oh, because it’s in my head. I’m sorry. I will expel it, and post no more until I post again.

      I’ve got music, I’ve got rhythm, I’ve got my man, who could ask for anything more?

      pheww, thank goodness that’s over and done with.

      May 20, 2009 at 10:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   ClickClack bang

      I got women to the right of me.
      ♪ I got women to the left of me.
      ♫ I got women all around me,
      ♪But I ain’t got you.

      May 20, 2009 at 12:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      If I can’t have you I don’t want nobody baby….

      May 20, 2009 at 2:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   Geek Goddess

      Clowns to the left of me,
      Jokers to the right, here I am

      May 20, 2009 at 5:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   ClickClack bang

      Stuck in the middle witch! :mad: (eww!)

      May 20, 2009 at 6:01 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.6   mamason bang

      ewww-who…
      Witchy woman, she got the moon in her eyeee-yi-iiiiiiiiiii.

      May 20, 2009 at 9:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.7   Beanster bang

      blue eeeeeeyyyyeess, you’re the sweet to my mean

      (is this what we are doing?)

      May 20, 2009 at 9:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.8   mamason bang

      I’m never really sure what we’re doing. :-|

      May 20, 2009 at 10:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.9   Beanster bang

      im never sure what you are doing, mama, but i always like it.

      May 20, 2009 at 10:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.10   fluffy8u

      Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me…
      Twice on the pipe if the answer is nooooo
      oh my sweetness
      means you’ll meet me in the hall-way
      twice on the pipe means you ain’t gonna show

      … I thought it was fitting? Y’know… Tap, tap… knock, knock? No? Back to the drawing board, Fluffy!!!

      May 20, 2009 at 11:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   DearJane

    I would rather hear the tapping of pen / pencils than the random terets like swearing that comes out of our back office on regular occasion

    May 20, 2009 at 10:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   park rose bang

      Oh, am I within the 20 minute mark?
      Terets?
      Teret Trent Darby had a hit with Wishing Well.
      Teret Stamp was in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

      As for other random Terets, I’m coming up a blank…except for Thank you Teret!
      (oh, I’m sure it’s some newfangled terminology I just don’t have the hang of yet).

      Maybe they mean ferrets? Richard Gere and his crew hang out there? No, hold on, that was gerbils, and Hitler and shit.

      Okay, okay – terets can mean rounds…maybe the pencil tappers are getting in syncopation and jiggy with it, y’know?

      May 20, 2009 at 10:16 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   Mishee™ bang

      Maybe she meant Tourette Syndrome?

      Methinks DearJane needs to start using Firefox.

      It tells you when something is spelled wrong.

      I lurve it.

      May 20, 2009 at 10:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   park rose bang

      Mish,
      don’t rain on my parade, now.
      That one was computed and rejected cos then I couldn’t reef riff…

      May 20, 2009 at 10:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   Fresca

      Thank you, though, for the lovely thought of random ferrets coming out of the back office.

      May 20, 2009 at 11:05 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   MagPie bang

      Dear Jane – My cube mate is constantly snarking up a loogie (sp?) due to post nasal drip. I start working and getting stuff done and I hear it… snnnnkkkk… there goes my concentration. I would rather he tap his pencil on his desk. That i can at least drown out with my iPod and not have to go disinfect myself hourly with perfume.

      May 20, 2009 at 11:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.6   park rose bang

      Oh, Fresca… you like my random ferrets, but did you give me the thumb?? Oh now, you did not. Don’t push me, cos’ I’m close to the edge…

      However, your comment is so funny that I am going to block your back passage with my thumb. See how generous I am? If only all PANistas were the same.

      May 20, 2009 at 11:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.7   DearJane

      AHhh….magpie I used to work with a woman who did that too!! She was well dressed, highly educated and sounded like a backed up storm drain.
      (apologizes for her misspelling of Tourettes earlier…bad spelling happens when you’re covertly surfing PAN and trying not to get caught at work)

      May 20, 2009 at 1:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.8   park rose

      No worries, Jane. Just more grist for the mill. And I should control my typing Tourettes ( and drunken posting ), when all is said and done.

      May 20, 2009 at 6:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Andy

    Someone has an iPhone…

    Say you’re in your cube and want to drive your coworkers absolutely nuts, there’s an app for that!

    May 20, 2009 at 10:11 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   claw71 bang

    Name this tune:

    Your stupid coworker’s doin’ i-pod taps
    It’s making you just stew
    You sent a message to confront the crap
    But he continues
    Pick up the phone, I’m here alone
    Call me for this task
    Just ring: three six two for three six , hey
    I’ll kick his emo ass!

    Office dweebs, fixed dirt cheap
    Office dweebs, fixed dirt cheap
    Office dweebs, fixed dirt cheap
    Office dweebs fear the thunder chief
    Office dweebs fear the thunder chief

    He got promoted but he is such a tool
    Took credit for your work
    Now he’s golfing and you’re stuck in here
    You want to kill that jerk
    Pick up the phone, I’ll crack his dome
    It’s time to get that clown
    For a price, I’ll cut him up nice
    And beat his punk as down

    Office dweebs, fixed dirt cheap
    Office dweebs, fixed dirt cheap
    Office dweebs, fixed dirt cheap
    Office dweebs fear the thunder chief
    Office dweebs fear the thunder chief

    Super Glue
    Astro glide
    CRTs
    ALL DIRT CHEAP

    Stained necktie
    Lost contract
    CROP DUSTING!

    ALL DIRT CHEAP, YEAH.

    May 20, 2009 at 10:20 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   park rose bang

      Acca Dacca mate! mad props! ‘n all.

      When we were kids we used to think it said ‘dirty deeds, dunderchief’ and it somehow pertained to underwear, which, considering Bon Scott’s lifestyle, it probably did.

      *I could be wrong, or course, I just see everything through an antipodean haze – which tends to men 4 bourbons, one scotch and one beer… y’know how it goes*

      May 20, 2009 at 10:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   park rose bang

      *mean*

      May 20, 2009 at 10:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   anglophile bang

      I used to mishear it as “Dirty Knees, Dungarees” and always got it mixed up in my head with “Dirty Laundry”.

      May 20, 2009 at 11:41 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   park rose bang

      See, this used to be played by the ‘bogans’, who make up the vast majority of the Australian suburban population (or did in the 70s and 80s) with mullets and desert boots and panel vans (sin bins) doing donuts on deserted streets…

      The weekend was awash with said bogans washing down said sinbins to dirty deeds, dunderchief.. or if not, Jail Break. Fucking good songs, though. As was Back in Black (which Bon Scott wrote). Anything beyond that is just phallic dwelling cynicism and trite. Of course She was a fast machine, keep the motors clean, she was the best damn woman that I’d ever seen had nothing to do with phalluses, or placement thereof.

      Am I off topic… probably.
      Dirty knees, Dungarees elicited a laugh out loud laugh out loud…!

      May 20, 2009 at 11:55 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.5   Mishee™ bang

      Glo, did you type “mishear” just to get my attention?

      Or did you mean that you heard it as I would’ve?
      :)

      May 20, 2009 at 12:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.6   claw71 bang

      To me it was Dirty Dean, toady to the evil Thunderchief.

      May 20, 2009 at 1:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.7   park rose

      ‘Mishear’ is always the option that comes up on the spell check for ‘Mishee’. I’ve only just got it. I’ve been wondering for ages what Goddamned mish-shears are…

      Slow, I know, I know.

      May 20, 2009 at 1:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.8   park rose

      Claw, there’s something off with your syllable count. You’ve got to stop wearing those tightie whities, man…

      May 20, 2009 at 1:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.9   Eric bang

      Wearing those tightie whities is risky business

      May 20, 2009 at 2:44 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   DearJane

    Are you saying syllable counting is improved by the absence of underwear?

    May 20, 2009 at 1:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Depends on whose in the room.

      May 20, 2009 at 1:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   park rose

      I hear that wearing boxers is more conducive to maintaining a high syllable count, Jane.

      May 20, 2009 at 6:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   MKAT

    I’m a clicker not a tapper (of pens anyway..!).

    May 20, 2009 at 2:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Gunderson105

    …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….Needs more dots……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

    May 20, 2009 at 3:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   park rose

      Kudos to the PAN writer. Three dots in ellipsis usage is optimum. Catholics like it too.

      Whenever they have mislaid their rosary beads, they can just look down at the note and be reminded of the father, son and holy spirit. I don’t know how Mother Mary enters the mix, though.

      May 20, 2009 at 6:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   ClickClack bang

      She appears in the first verse, speaking words of wisdom.

      May 20, 2009 at 6:12 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Eric bang

      With Peter and Paul she makes a good female accompaniment on John Denver and Bob Dylan songs.

      May 20, 2009 at 6:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   park rose

      Always the fall guy-tress, never the clown *sigh*

      May 20, 2009 at 7:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.5   mamason bang

      Let it be, Rose.

      May 20, 2009 at 9:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.6   park rose

      Because you’re sweet and funny girl I heed you,
      Because you’re sweet and lovely girl it’s true,
      I love you more than ever, girl I do

      May 21, 2009 at 3:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   fluffy8u

    I can stand the tappers (because I have buds in), what I can’t stand are those snot nosed PANers who insist on writing notes instead of actually confronting the annoyer.

    Them and those guys who can’t use a tissue, they have to snort snot back up their nose because if you use a tissue, you killed a tree.

    May 20, 2009 at 6:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Evil Homer

      Aarrrgggghhhhhhh!!!!! SNOT SNORTERS!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *shudders*

      May 21, 2009 at 7:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   cheeky

      But what would we be left with if those snot nosed PANers didn’t exist?

      A website with transcripts of people addressing and discussing their gripes and frustrations in a mature and productive fashion?

      May 25, 2009 at 7:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Geek Goddess

    You say you want some concentration
    Well you know
    We all want to change the job
    You tell me that it’s evolution
    Well you know
    We all want to change the job
    But when you talk about disruption
    Don’t you know you can count me out
    Don’t you know it’s gonna be alright
    Alright (tap tap) Alright (tap tap)

    You say you got a real solution
    Well you know
    We’d all love to see the PAN
    Pencil me in for a contribution
    Well you know
    We’re annoying all we can
    When you want ipods for people with minds that concentrate
    All I can tell you is Kerry you have to wait
    Don’t you know it’s gonna be alright
    Alright (tap tap) Alright (tap tap)

    You say you’ll change the constitution
    Well you know
    We all want to change your lead
    ‘Cause it’s the office institution
    Well you know
    Better sharpen your pencil instead
    But if you go taking pictures of PAN notes now
    You ain’t going to make it with anyone* anyhow
    Don’t you know know it’s gonna be alright
    Alright (tap tap) Alright (tap tap)

    *even the ones that you originally had a chance with

    May 20, 2009 at 9:32 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Diane

    I have a staff member who compulsively flips his cell phone open and closed any time he’s standing. It’s in his pocket so he’s not checking the time or anything, just making a ‘clunk’ noise. It drives my other staffers up the wall. I’m to the point where I’m going to tell him to leave it in his locker, just so I don’t have to listen to the complaints. He also taps his pencils, drums his fingers, etc. Anything that makes percussive noise, he does it. I can see how that would be really obnoxious.

    May 21, 2009 at 11:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Beanster bang

      does he also write poetry?

      May 25, 2009 at 8:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Canthz_B bang

      Don’t you just hate it when, as a supervisor, you have a subordinate that gets on your nerves?
      The best thing to do is to single them out and persecute them for what you don’t like about them.
      Then sit back and wait for them to get you fired.

      May 25, 2009 at 11:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Frenemy

    ALSO!!!!!! PEN BUTTON CLICKING!!!!!!!! I AM SURE IT IS HELPFUL FOR YOU BUT NOT FOR THE REST OF US OR YOUR PEN!!!!!!!!!!! IT ONLY NEEDS TO BE CLICKED ONE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!

    Jun 3, 2009 at 10:24 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Anniee451

    My supervisor is a notorious passive-aggressive note leaver (not to me; she makes ME make them up in power point and then puts them up) and she’s obsessed with doing certain reports only in pencil, and she constantly, constantly, drums on the desk with her fingers, annoying the fuck out of me.

    I am buying her the drumstick pencils and as soon as my co-worker is back from surgery I’m giving them to her and we’re going to laugh our motherfucking asses off. THANK YOU PAN!!! (Thank you Terry!)

    Jun 6, 2009 at 1:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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