XOXO, Your landlord

May 20th, 2009 · 210 comments

Writes our submitter in Harpers Ferry, West Virginia: “A local candidate for county commissioner claimed that he was going to run the county like he runs his businesses.” (You know: straight talk, no bullshit, that kind of thing.)

So, if you were a Jefferson County voter, what would be your take on the guy based on this sign, from the dumpster area at one of his rental properties? Destined for law-making, right?

To my renters: Put your fucking trash out on Mondays only! Your Landlord

related: What is about dog shit that pushes Brooklynites over the edge?

FILED UNDER: fuck fuckity fuck fuck · garbage · landlords and property managers · West Virginia


210 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Kelly

    Frankly, I’m impressed that he didn’t use “Monday’s” or “you’re landlord.”

    May 20, 2009 at 11:34 pm   rating: 52  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   fluffy8u

      I’m impressed that it isn’t signed “Your Lord and Master!!!”

      May 20, 2009 at 11:44 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Evil Homer

      Also impressive is the restraint shown in only using one exclamation mark.

      Although perhaps he had to pay per character for the sign and wanted to ensure he could afford to include the full expletive.

      May 21, 2009 at 7:52 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Eris

      I ‘su’spect he’s one of tho’se ‘sort’s who ju’st doe’snt even know apo’strophe’s exi’st.

      Jun 30, 2009 at 10:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Kat

    That is sooo West Virginia.

    May 20, 2009 at 11:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Joe bang

      No, check out these two pics. That is so West Virginia!

      May 21, 2009 at 8:36 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Alien8

      That ain’t West ‘Ginia that trucks got all for tires on it

      May 23, 2009 at 11:26 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   fluffy8u

    Wait a minuet… Did someone throw out an ice cream bucket??

    Do you what those could be for?! Pee buckets for those WOW players in California who peed on the mother’s fence!!!

    Someone needs to start sharing…

    Espeically Deborah.

    May 20, 2009 at 11:49 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   aaa

      Sorry man, I don’t do 3/4 time. ;D

      May 21, 2009 at 12:25 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Canthz_B bang

      Wait a minuet?
      Why? Is your dance card filled?

      May 21, 2009 at 1:39 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Evil Homer

      If I was a WOW player I’d piss on that fence.

      Extra points for hitting the “fucking” and leaving visible drip marks.

      May 21, 2009 at 7:48 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   The Grammarphile

    If that were my landlord, I’d make sure that my trash included a large amount of condom wrappers/condoms…it is the FUCKING trash, after all…

    May 21, 2009 at 12:01 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Kay

      I’m pretty sure that’s what garbage bags are for. Although I hear the corners aren’t pleasurable for the female trash cans.

      May 21, 2009 at 12:12 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Flaboy2425

      Yes, if fucking trash goes out on Monday, what day do I throw out the rest of my garbage? Be specific, man.

      May 21, 2009 at 3:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   PennyKarma

      There’s a huge opportunity for someone diabolically creative to have fun with this. Throw away some rubber sheets…broken handcuffs…gerbils…a ball gag with a set of dentures attached…

      May 27, 2009 at 8:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   fluffy8u

    Wait, so if that’s how he runs his business, is his county going to look trashy too?

    May 21, 2009 at 12:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   aaa

      It’s West Virginia. Can we really expect it to look any better?

      ZING!

      (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

      May 21, 2009 at 12:21 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   fluffy8u

      Other places we can expect it from include (but not limited to):

      New Jersey

      May 21, 2009 at 1:09 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Canthz_B bang

      Someone hasn’t looked around for over 30 years.

      May 21, 2009 at 1:27 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   fluffy8u

      Mishee?

      May 21, 2009 at 1:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Canthz_B bang

      Has she told a 30 year-old Jersey joke lately too?
      Shame on her!!

      Heavy industry left NJ long ago…your “joke” missed.
      Now, a Mid-Western State that’s recently lost manufacturing jobs would work…but would be in bad taste.
      You’re good at that though, so have at it. :roll:

      When we get to corruption, then will be the time for Jersey jokes!!
      ♫ Nobody does it better, makes me feel sad for the rest…♫ LOL

      May 21, 2009 at 2:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   aaa

      Stereotypes are often held long after they cease being kinda almost nearly true. Frankly, I’m surprised nobody jumped on those Kentucky stereotypes a few posts back.

      BTW, no, I don’t have teeth or shoes. But zombie robot hermaphrodites have no need for such frivolous things.

      May 21, 2009 at 2:18 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   Mishee™ bang

      We refrained from the KY jokes a few threads back, because I believe we had exhausted our material on the None of Your Damn Business post…

      I don’t know any NJ jokes, 30 years old or otherwise…

      Now, Iowa and other MidWestern’ states… don’t get me started on that…

      May 21, 2009 at 9:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   Holiday Djinn

      KY? I prefer astral glide myself.

      May 21, 2009 at 11:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   Sirius¤ bang

      Astral Glide is only for D & D players, and Rosicrucians.

      You’re thinking of Astro Glide, preferred by cartoon dog fanciers everywhere. “Ruh-Roh, Reorge!”

      May 21, 2009 at 11:59 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   MissMelony

      NJ jokes will never grow old… It is still the armpit of new england

      May 21, 2009 at 2:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   Mishee™ bang

      I didn’t realize NJ was part of New England to begin with…

      I could’ve sworn it was Northeast Seaboard or Mid Atlantic or something a little less embarrassing…

      May 21, 2009 at 3:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.12   Hey

      No comments from the peanut gallery please.

      May 21, 2009 at 3:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.13   MissMelony

      Well I thought we claimed it so that the Mid-Atlantic wouldn’t have less trash to deal with… plus I do believe there is an Jersey in the realm of “old” England. Also I believe you can be Northeastern Seaboard and New England simultaneously. the “Eastern Seaboard” or “Atlantic Seaboard”, refers to the easternmost coastal states in the central and northern United States, which touch the Atlantic Ocean…

      however Mishee (as is her custom) is correct in that it is not a part of New England… my mistake

      May 21, 2009 at 5:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.14   MissMelony

      Dammit I hate typos… should be “would”. 20 mins to fix it and i notice at minute 22. sigh…

      May 21, 2009 at 6:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.15   fluffy8u

      Thank you Melony! NJ jokes will always work. Just like the joke of Southerns and their “love life” still seem to flow Even though marrying your sister is outlawed in those parts it didn’t stop you guys from going at it.

      Sorry, Mishee, it was the first name I came up with. Just take it as a sign of popularity.

      May 21, 2009 at 8:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.16   Canthz_B bang

      NJ is not in New England. I lived there for 47 years and am quite sure of that.
      Just because there’s a Jersey, England, doesn’t make NJ in NE any more the State of Washington is on the East coast because Washington D.C. is located there.

      Sorry about closely re-making your joke Fluffy.
      I CTRL-F for “overlord” and thought the field was clear when I came up empty.

      As for this wrath I was just reading about,I don’t sit at my computer all day waiting to see if someone new shows up so I can body-slam them.
      Like others, I will on occasion, get on someone’s grammar, but that’s almost always only when they’ve poorly said something absolutely idiotic.
      Mostly, I just make jokes about the notes.
      I don’t get involved with the long, drawn-out off-topic conversations about sex or Mishee™’s Mom…and I try not to talk about people when they aren’t here.

      May 21, 2009 at 9:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.17   fluffy8u

      Meh, it’s okay. Everyone has done it at one time or another.

      May 21, 2009 at 9:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.18   Canthz_B bang

      Oh, and on occasion I’ll play Devil’s Advocate if things get too one-sided.
      Nothing is more boring than to read 200 comments that basically say, “I agree.” or “That happened to me! My story is…”

      May 21, 2009 at 9:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.19   MissMelony

      oh what would the world do without u CB?

      wait i know… keep on turning with a little more positive energy

      May 22, 2009 at 12:13 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.20   TheOldSchool

      Miss Melony,

      That’s a bold statement. Can you back it up with research? Or is this speculation?

      My theory is that the world needs CB more than CB needs the world.

      Keep in mind, I’m always drunk.

      May 22, 2009 at 12:27 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.21   Canthz_B bang

      MissMelony, stop trying to send subliminal messages to me. I don’t, and never will, miss you.
      It was good while it lasted, but it’s over now.

      Besides, the discussion about a world without ‘u’ was over days ago. ;-)

      May 22, 2009 at 12:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.22   Canthz_B bang

      Just to fit my apparent image, MissMelony, you fixed “would” above after careful proofreading. Well done!
      Are we to assume that “an Jersey” is as you like it?

      You will, of course, make note that I didn’t point out any errors you made in your post until after you decided to make me your cause of the day, right?

      May 22, 2009 at 1:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.23   TheOldSchool

      CB,

      I think that in Olde English, the “J” is silent. So, MM may have been correct to say “an Jersey.”

      The topic is controversial throughout England, but it is most ferociously debated in Jersey pubs.

      The fights. So bloody. So pointless. It just makes me feel so exasperated sometimes. Those poor, stupid people….

      May 22, 2009 at 1:32 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.24   TheOldSchool

      In fact, a quaint aphorism from Jersey is called: “aneurysm.”

      If it is clever, it’s called a “cerebral aneurysm.”

      May 22, 2009 at 1:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.25   Canthz_B bang

      And you wonder why I left NJ! HA!!

      I would actually research that, TOS, if she’d said “Olde England”, rather than “old” England, clearly meaning that she was playing on “old” vs. “new” rather than making a(n) historical point. :-)

      May 22, 2009 at 2:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.26   MissMelony

      It was noted. But we all know you could never resist.

      May 22, 2009 at 9:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.27   Canthz_B bang

      What I couldn’t resist in this thread was the urge to defend my native State against an unjust joke.
      In doing so, I pointed out that there are perfectly good, current jokes that could, and should, be made about NJ.

      What’s your major malfunction?

      May 23, 2009 at 5:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.28   MissMelony

      i’m sure all of NJ thanks you for your service…

      May 23, 2009 at 11:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.29   Canthz_B bang

      I got the eCard from Gov. Corzine this morning. NJ is grateful! ;-)

      May 23, 2009 at 12:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.30   anglophile bang

      Was this the card you got, CB?

      :P

      May 23, 2009 at 1:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.31   Canthz_B bang

      The exact one, Glo!

      Apparently, Corzine knows better than McGreevey(sp?) how to keep it on the down low! :lol:

      May 23, 2009 at 1:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.32   GK bang

      If it makes you feel any better, Jersey isn’t in England either.

      Jun 1, 2009 at 11:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.33   Canthz_B bang

      We often say “England” when “UK” would be more appropriate. Kind of like we say “America” to mean the USA, even though we are not the only country on these continents.
      Jersey is a British Crown Dependency off the coast of Normandy, France.

      Jun 1, 2009 at 11:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.34   Mark bang

      Check this out for a simplified description of England vs UK vs etc. Still not perfect (there are always little nitpicky things wrong with every diagram) but pretty damn good.

      Jun 1, 2009 at 12:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.35   Canthz_B bang

      I thought “UK” was synonymous with “British Empire”.

      Happy to learn something new today! :-)

      Jun 1, 2009 at 12:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   atlriot

    Wouldn’t this sign work better for its intended purpose without the salutation and valediction? This guy’s ego is clearly too large for West Virginia politics.

    May 21, 2009 at 12:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   agatha christie

    Wow. Just… wow. I like how there’s already one, smaller sign saying pretty much the same thing not two feet away from it.

    May 21, 2009 at 12:31 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Joe bang

      If you look at the photoset, you’ll see two more signs within ten feet: link.

      May 21, 2009 at 8:33 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   ClickClack bang

      Thank You Landlord!

      (see linked photo)

      May 21, 2009 at 12:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   racerx22

    Obviously they couldn’t get the message from the first, smaller and more polite sign posted on the left. Using profanity as punctuation FUCKING works!

    May 21, 2009 at 12:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   agatha christie

      Racer, are you in my head?

      May 21, 2009 at 12:32 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   racerx22

      YES! Send your life savings to me C/O ………..

      May 21, 2009 at 12:35 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   agatha christie

      I would, except that you’re not supposed to send change in the mail. :(

      May 21, 2009 at 12:38 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   mew

    really, I’m not keeping my trash in the house all week…get a friggin’ dumpster so it can be put outside where it belongs, k thx :)

    May 21, 2009 at 12:31 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   JoshD

      Living near WV (but not in it) myself I know they probably have animal problems. Many animals including Raccoons can still get into dumpsters.

      The newest trend in garbage removal is “Bear Proof Dumpsters.” These are expensive and many are too small for large apartment complexes.

      May 21, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      The cement pad and inset fencing suggests that he may have at one time had a dumpster…He probably took it away to punish his tennants because they had trash to put in it.

      May 21, 2009 at 10:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   N/A

      We have to keep our trash indoors all week, drives me nuts. I keep it in the boiler room in the basement where it stays pretty cool at least so it doesn’t get too stinky. Dread to think what it would smell like with meat or used diapers in it though, urgh!

      May 21, 2009 at 11:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   racerx22

    I will gladly put my trash out on Monday for a fixed fucking fence today. (Best Wimpy impersonation)

    May 21, 2009 at 12:33 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   mamason bang

    Is that even legal?

    May 21, 2009 at 12:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   racerx22

      Is there much that is illeagl in WV?

      May 21, 2009 at 12:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   fluffy8u

      Just murder! :-D

      May 21, 2009 at 1:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   aaa

      Well, racerx22, I don’t think there’s anything illeagl in West Virginia, but I’m sure there are a few things that are illegal. ;D

      May 21, 2009 at 1:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Beanster bang

      @ fluffy, Rape and Burgle are frowned upon also

      (misses Bunnee already)

      May 21, 2009 at 9:08 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   claw71 bang

      Just remember, folks: in West Virginia it ain’t rape if she’s related.

      May 21, 2009 at 10:28 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   MissMelony

      isnt that Burglary?

      May 21, 2009 at 3:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   park rose bang

      cut out the r, and another g, cut out the l, change the a to e…

      oh, and change ‘she’ to ‘he’.

      May 21, 2009 at 5:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   Bunnee bang

      Sweet, Beans! ;)

      May 21, 2009 at 6:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   mamason bang

      That’s what I’m talking about, Rose, a little buggery.

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      May 21, 2009 at 8:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    They should be made to put it out more often.
    Fucking trash breeds more trash.

    In fact, HE should be made to put the fucking trash out of his apartments. The neighborhood has gone way down since he started renting to “those types”!

    May 21, 2009 at 1:17 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   aaa

      What, those locksmith hooligans? You can never trust those shifty bastards.

      May 21, 2009 at 1:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    So now we know what they did with John Brown’s body?

    May 21, 2009 at 1:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   fluffy8u

      Yes, we also know what to do with CB’s body, now…

      May 21, 2009 at 2:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Canthz_B bang

      Kitchens have heat, fluffy, I can take it.
      You just need to find a coherent joke in there somewhere. ;-)

      May 21, 2009 at 2:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   aaa

      It’s late and I should be sleeping, but I’ll try to resurrect fluffy’s awkward joke. You, um, eat CB? ‘Cuz he’s human (I’m assuming)? And all the cool kids do cannibalism? And ppl r teh p0rklicious tasting (so I’ve heard)? Eh?

      May 21, 2009 at 2:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   Canthz_B bang

      Yes, aaa, fluffy can just eat me! :lol:

      May 21, 2009 at 2:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   fluffy8u

      Ugh. It was 2 a.m. and I just finished watching a marathon of Doctor Who. My brain isn’t intact after six hours of British science fiction, is yours?

      May 21, 2009 at 9:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   not_an_ola

      I’m pretty sure that the body of John Brown is a-moulderin’ in the grave.

      May 22, 2009 at 5:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    They have to hold on to used condoms until Mondays?
    I just flush mine, they can be used as evidence!

    May 21, 2009 at 1:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   fluffy8u

      NEVER flush. Just drive down to the McDonald’s in the next town and dispose there. No one will ever be the wiser.

      I, of course, speak from experience.

      May 21, 2009 at 2:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Canthz_B bang

      So you’re the source of the special sauce on the Big Mac!! :lol:

      May 21, 2009 at 2:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   MeToo

      Just make sure it goes down and that your roomie doesn’t find it in the morning. We’ll end up with another PAN rehashing that same argument.

      (Heh heh “goes down” point!)

      May 21, 2009 at 11:18 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   fluffy8u

      There is nothing worse than waking up and finding a floating condom in the toilet and your boyfriend in your roommate’s bed.

      May 21, 2009 at 9:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    This would be so much more acceptable if it ended with:

    YOUR OVERLORD

    May 21, 2009 at 1:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Fork

      And your feeble attempt at a joke would be much more acceptable if a similar one hadn’t already been made at 1.1.

      May 21, 2009 at 7:27 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   GhostWriter bang

      How about if he writes it like this:

      YOUR
      ———-
      LORD
      ??

      May 21, 2009 at 12:57 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   MissMelony

      Fork FTW

      May 21, 2009 at 3:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   fluffy8u

      Gasp, CB! Repeating Fluffy’s lame jokes? Now, that’s in bad taste! ;-)

      May 21, 2009 at 9:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    I think the bigger problem is that they can’t seem to make it all the way to the dumpster, no matter what day it happens to be!

    May 21, 2009 at 1:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Canthz_B bang

    I happen to agree with the landlord…keep that whore for the whole weekend!

    May 21, 2009 at 1:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    Tourists:

    So this is the famous Mason-Dixon line?

    Tour Guide:

    Yep. As you can see, the Southerners are still a little bitter about the outcome of the “War Between The States”.
    They toss their trash in a general Northward direction each day.
    Not too good at reading compasses, but we’re a-gonna restrict that activity to Mondays only from here on out.

    May 21, 2009 at 1:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   fluffy8u

      I was going to ask who uses compases anymore, but then I remembered. This is the South.

      May 21, 2009 at 2:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Canthz_B bang

      Well, they never did figure out the drinking gourd thing, so a compass is high-freaking tech!! LOL

      May 21, 2009 at 2:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   Saysh bang

      Has anyone figured out that three seashells thing? Anyone?

      Oh wait.. wrong thread….

      .

      (Yes Mishee, my dearest lezzie, that one was for YOU!)

      May 21, 2009 at 2:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   The Fae

      At least they don’t use hand-drawn maps…
      (First time ever posting; hi everyone. I lurk constantly, laughing completely inappropriately at the PANers in the office. I have always been terrified to post, however, because although I’m perdy well with da English I’m afraid to mess up and incur CB’s wrath.)

      May 21, 2009 at 4:30 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   hear me roar

      I wouldn’t worry too much about CB’s inappropriate wrath – it appears to be dispensed on a random basis according to just how self-righteous he is feeling that particular day.

      I suspect he takes out the many frustrations of his daily life on poor unsuspecting PAN newbies.

      May 21, 2009 at 7:32 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   Olson

      The Fae…Don’t worry about incurring CB’s wrath. It’s like worrying about death….it’s gonna happen eventually. (This also applies to the wrath of several others here, also) Just ride it out…you’ll be fine. It’s like going through a hazing where absolutely nothing actually happens to you.

      (But keep in mind that PAN wouldn’t be the same without these precious characters, either!)

      May 21, 2009 at 10:38 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.7   MissMelony

      Agreed… twofold… besides his bark’s not as bad as his jokes

      May 21, 2009 at 3:14 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.8   fluffy8u

      Yeah, I’m going through CB’s wrath right now (just read up^). The trick is to keep on posting even if the jokes come out non coherent or in bad taste.

      We all shrug and keep on goin’.

      May 21, 2009 at 9:19 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.9   TheOldSchool

      I just want everyone in thread 18 to know that you all got a thumbs up.

      We’re all in this together.

      Sure, there’s gonna be squabbles, but after the game’s over, we head to the locker room for a nice hot shower, a little towel-snapping, some playful rough-housing, a bit of tension release therapy on the outdoor mats, and then we just lay back, have a smoke, stare up at the stars, and feel our lips go wobbly like worms as they form a half-way grin whenever we think about thread 18.

      What was the deal, anyway? Was CB taking the mickey out of whoever, or was whoever yankin’ CB’s chain?

      I don’t know. I didn’t read it. I’m just here because it’s so comfortable on these mats.

      May 22, 2009 at 12:18 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.10   Canthz_B bang

      I just think that hypocrisy is the coolest!
      Don’t you?! :-D

      I don’t know what wrath I spewed above…let’s see, I explained that NJ is not in NE, I apologized for an unintentional joke copying, and (using an Oxford comma here) I tried to explain my little niche here.

      In PAN, all the world’s a stage, and each of us has our little parts to play.
      Don’t be pissed at me…just find your niche, biche! :-)

      May 22, 2009 at 12:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.11   TheOldSchool

      CB,

      I found my niche, at your hotel in Biche.

      For those of you who haven’t yet found your own niche:

      Biche is a flourishing agricultural village in east Trinidad and Tobago exactly 18 kilometers south of Sangre Grande and 18 kilometers north of Rio Claro. (Symmetrical.)

      Biche was first inhabited by a hunter and his teenage bitch in 1874. There is little historical data to support the origins of this couple; however, the hunter’s bitch was believed to be named Maria Gomez B.

      May 22, 2009 at 1:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.12   Canthz_B bang

      TOS, you’re the Greatest!

      *cue Honeymooners music*

      May 22, 2009 at 1:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.13   Shefalee

      Oh Canthz, maybe you should have a good look at how many thumbs up the posts slamming you get and maybe think long and hard about your regularly shitty attitude on this site.

      And please please PLEASE stop posting pointless joke after pointless joke which gets little response – if at first you don’t succeed, just FUCK OFF.

      May 22, 2009 at 10:03 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.14   MissMelony

      Indeed, I was going to comment on that fact. Why fain innocence CB. You rip on people, you insult their intelligence, you criticize their ideas and feeling, and you do it all in the guise of comedy. And it’s your right to do so. As it is my right to think your jokes suck. It wasn’t “pick on CB day”, it was just observations I cared to share… who knew so many agreed.

      May 22, 2009 at 10:37 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.15   Canthz_B bang

      Just because you don’t like a certain type of comedy, doesn’t mean there’s no comedy there.
      I don’t like “The Three Stooges”, but some think they were great.
      To ask me to stop posting jokes about notes in the comments section of this site is absurd.
      If you don’t like my jokes, by all means, refrain from laughing and move along to the next comment.
      Is it my fault that I sometimes think in rapid-fire?
      The notes are posted for us to take shots at…I’m taking mine whether you happen to like it or not!!
      I can’t insult the intelligence of people who insist upon showing their lack of it.
      Rip on people? That’s the nature of this site…in fact, it’s what you have been doing since you got here (see mirror).
      When I agree with feelings and ideas, I express that. When I disagree, I express that!
      Rip on people…please! I’ve ripped on people and praised them in the same thread. They’ve done the same to me.
      Why?
      Because we’re just joking here most of the time!!
      If you don’t get that, how is that my fault?

      I don’t tell my jokes to count thumbs ups.
      Maybe you need the constant ego stroking of perfect strangers, but I’m just trying to add a chuckle in my day.
      The purpose of this comment section is to make jokes, jokes that are humorous to you, about the notes.
      My jokes are humorous to me, and I will continue to make them as I have for quite some time.

      You evidently think I give a crap about your approval.
      Rest assured, I do not.
      I’ve lived happily a long time without it, and will continue to do so.

      BTW, if posts slamming me get oh so many thumbs up, what does that say about the evils of slamming others?

      See what happens when you dance in the mud?
      You get all dirty!
      Thanks for playing “Me Too!”

      Now try to think of something funny to say about the note.

      I’d hate to think you just come here to have your passions inflamed by me. ;-)

      May 23, 2009 at 4:26 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.16   Saysh bang

      CB…. my passions are ALWAYS inflamed by you. As a matter of fact, I think that I only have passions when it comes to you.

      Come here.. I’m feeling a little cold. I need some nice big roaring flames :twisted:

      May 23, 2009 at 3:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.17   Canthz_B bang

      Right here?! People can see us! :oops:

      May 23, 2009 at 4:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.18   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Oh come on CB, nobody’s looking anyway.

      May 23, 2009 at 4:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.19   seriously

      Please take it to the Troublmaker Headquarters. There is a reason Kerry asked to please take off-topic conversation there.

      Thanks in advance

      Management

      May 23, 2009 at 4:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.20   Canthz_B bang

      In advance of what?
      15 minutes after nothing happened?

      seriously.

      May 23, 2009 at 4:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.21   Beanster bang

      blah blah blah i wish i was funny blah

      May 23, 2009 at 4:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.22   back up

      Sorry but nobody wants to read love notes in the comment section. It got old a while ago.
      Like stated above, that shit has no business in the main thread.

      Beanster
      Blah blah blah..you are douche. Oh,and I totally wish I was as funny as you…we all do actually. Really. There is no comparison to the hilarity of your comments.

      May 23, 2009 at 5:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.23   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe you didn’t notice, but we didn’t do what you feared we would do.
      My comment pretty much said that was not appropriate here, but thanks for your input…after an hour and a half of no one doing what you don’t want to see.

      But, coming out of the woodwork to call Beanster a name, and not comment on the note? That’s class, Baby! ;-)

      May 23, 2009 at 5:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.24   Honestly

      The bottom line is that CB (or whatever the fuck you call it) is an asshole, and is proud of it.
      He may be a regular, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t an internet troll. Trolls get off by stiring up trouble and invoking a response. He may say he is playing devil’s advocate but he is being a troll. Just ignore him. It won’t make him go away (we all know) but maybe we won’t have to read so many comments from him.

      May 23, 2009 at 5:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.25   Beanster bang

      (i never claimed to be funny. that’s why i don’t comment that often.)

      May 23, 2009 at 6:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.26   Honestly

      Oh and your constant stank eye rolls and smiles make you look fucking stupid. Get a new act cause your old one was out of style a while ago.

      May 23, 2009 at 6:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.27   WOW

      CB you are by far the definition of class.

      May 23, 2009 at 6:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.28   Canthz_B bang

      :lol: Try counting the number of comments on this thread I’ve made about the note as opposed to the number responding to unprovoked attacks, then check your definition of troll. :roll:

      That’s “evoking”, BTW ;-)

      May 23, 2009 at 6:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.29   Beanster bang

      * loves CB’s style. it’s very “in” in West Virginia *

      (just trying to bring it back)

      ((wait, aren’t we on a new note?))

      *scurries off to be relevant*

      May 23, 2009 at 6:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.30   Canthz_B bang

      Of course, Honestly was NOT trying to “invoke” a response from me.
      Because, according to Honestly, that would make him/her a troll.

      May 23, 2009 at 6:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.31   thinking twice

      i just get tired of cb sometimes but i did go back and read the comments
      i hate to admit it but cb wasnt talking bad about anybody really until they started talking about him

      May 23, 2009 at 6:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.32   Saysh bang

      Thinking,

      Good for you. And good for you to be big enough to admit to it.

      CB NEVER starts attacks. He never has and he never will. He will defend himself though.

      Now if everyone else will put on their grownup underwear….

      May 23, 2009 at 6:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.33   curious

      what’s up with username in sync with comment huh? Well, I am just following trend here. My next name will be “take your sorry ass to new note already”.

      May 23, 2009 at 6:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.34   TheOldSchool

      Excuse me, but if CB and Saysh want to say whatever they want to say, they should go right ahead and say it.

      If they want to fuck right here, they should do it.

      In fact, I hope they do. (While I’m here.)

      May 23, 2009 at 7:02 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.35   Canthz_B bang

      For an attention whore like me *sniffle* well, I just want to say *sniffle* thanks.

      Who knew that a joke about the Mason-Dixon line would end up being all about me?
      I did!
      I’m an attention whore genius!!

      *obligatory ;-)

      May 23, 2009 at 7:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.36   TheOldSchool

      Private to CB:

      You were kidding about not liking the Three Stooges, right?

      May 23, 2009 at 7:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.37   TheOldSchool

      Even Shemp had his moments.

      (I can’t recall any of them, but whose fault is that? He didn’t put those drugs in my mouth.)

      May 23, 2009 at 7:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.38   TheOldSchool

      “Oooh, look! Here come the pill truck!”

      And there I am. Pretending to be a baby bird in a nest. Beak open wide. “Feed me!”

      It worked, but still….

      That feather-costume wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to get dry-cleaned.

      (Tweak-puke is notorious for finding its way into hard to reach problem areas.)

      May 23, 2009 at 7:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.39   TheOldSchool

      Don’t get me started talking that nest.

      Suffice to say, it was foul.

      The leg holes allowed me to chase after the truck, but, in retrospect, I can see how people may have mistaken it for a flying-saucer-sized diaper made of sticks and leaves.

      Sigh…. People can be so judgmental.

      Even cops!

      Judges are even worse.

      May 23, 2009 at 7:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.40   Canthz_B bang

      That get-up must have chafed when you ran, TOS.
      Maybe your case chafed the judge as well!

      I was going to insert an appropriate emoticon, but it seems those are frowned upon in internet discourse

      May 23, 2009 at 7:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.41   TheOldSchool

      CB,

      You’ll never hear me say anything negative about emoticons, because I think they’re cool.

      (And not just because I recently had an idea regarding them that could be developed into a little money-spinner.)

      May 24, 2009 at 12:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.42   anglophile bang

      For those who are too busy to read this whole thread, let me sum up:

      :lol: :) :) :? :) :roll: :P :| :) :P ;) :? :| :x :roll: 8) :twisted: :P :D :o :( :P :x 8) :evil: :? :lol: :roll: :D ;) :mrgreen: 8) :twisted: 8) :twisted: :lol: :? :o :? :( 8)

      ;)

      May 24, 2009 at 9:00 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.43   Canthz_B bang

      That’s so sweet of you, Glo! :oops:

      May 24, 2009 at 9:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.44   Canthz_B bang

      Oh, Snap! I just got what you did there, Glo!!

      You’re a brilliant vixen, you are!! :lol:

      And I’m kind of slow on the uptake! :-|

      May 24, 2009 at 3:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.45   Shefalee

      For someone that claims not to care what people think of you, you sure do spend a lot of time writing l-o-n-g responses to people to tell that what they think about you is wrong.

      People above weren’t commenting about anything you had said in this thread – there just appears to be quite a few of us that are really bored of you and 1. your lame jokes and 2. your antagonistic and self-righteous nature.

      Yes as you rightly point out we can just skim past your posts – but there are so freakin’ many taking up so much freakin’ pointless space it gets rather tiresome. Maybe think BEFORE you post for once?? Might make you a bit more popular on here.

      And being proud of the fact that you’ve been posting on here “for a long time” is just very, very sad and really sums up all we need to know about you.

      OK, bored now.

      May 24, 2009 at 5:47 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.46   Canthz_B bang

      Damn! You’ve bored yourself already?
      Think how much earlier you bored “quite a few of us”.

      I love how you wrap yourself in your imaginary army.

      I’m more than happy to be an army of one.

      Sorry that you are upset that I had the audacity to address my critics in full, but what do you expect? Acquiescence?
      Get real!

      And thanks for adding yet another unprovoked attack to the thread.
      You are so much better than me! ;-)

      May 24, 2009 at 6:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.47   Canthz_B bang

      See what happens when you dance in the mud?
      You get all dirty!
      Thanks for playing “Me too! I’m just like you!”

      And, I never said “for a long time”, I said “for quite some time”.
      Really, if you want to stab someone with their own words, take enough care to use their actual words “BEFORE you post”!

      May 24, 2009 at 6:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.48   Shefalee

      For once you are absolutely right – yes, I am so much better than you, thanks for pointing that out.

      Glad we finally agree and can move on.

      May 24, 2009 at 6:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.49   Canthz_B bang

      Too bad you lowered yourself to my level there, Sparky!

      Now run along and play with children your own age. ;-)

      May 24, 2009 at 6:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.50   anglophile bang

      I’m kinda thinking all those who are not entertained by this blog and its comments should perhaps make their own blogs collecting passive-aggressive notes. When the blog is yours, you get to decide who gets to comment and who doesn’t.

      May 24, 2009 at 6:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.51   Canthz_B bang

      I really thought he’d go for the “better than me” bad grammar!

      Oh, well.

      That sounds like a good idea, Glo.

      May 24, 2009 at 6:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.52   bigfoot

      “Sorry but nobody wants to read love notes in the comment section. It got old a while ago.
      Like stated above, that shit has no business in the main thread.”

      Hate notes on the other hand are welcome.

      May 25, 2009 at 3:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.53   Victoria

      Canthz B is the bad guy? I have read every comment here and all he was doing was making jokes about the picture at the top.
      Then ppl started downing him and he defended himself.
      God hates a hater!

      May 25, 2009 at 5:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   fluffy8u

    If Mr. Landlord has money to buy those personalized signs, why doesn’t he have enough money to hire a grounds keeper?

    May 21, 2009 at 2:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Canthz_B bang

      ♫ Mr. Landlord, (yes?) take me to Breem.

      *bum bum bum bum*

      Take me to Europe, ’cause I’ve never been.

      I want to see, white cliffs of Dover,
      So book the passage, and ship me over!

      Mr.Landlord, take me to Breeeeem! ♫

      May 22, 2009 at 1:48 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Saysh bang

      I was thinking more along the lines of “Roll Me Over in the Clover” but with garbage…

      May 23, 2009 at 3:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Rumblefish bang

    Is this the same West Virginia that John “Fucking” Denver sang about?

    May 21, 2009 at 7:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   park rose bang

      What, in that song “Cuntry Roads”? Might have been. ;)

      May 21, 2009 at 7:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      “Almost landfill, WestVirginia-
      Bags of refuse-garbage in the river.
      Plastic hangs on longer than the trees-
      Grocery bags and pampers-blowin’ in the breeze..

      May 21, 2009 at 10:59 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Michelle

    This has got to be one of my favorites!

    May 21, 2009 at 9:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   amy d bang

    Bright and warm in Harpers Ferry today.
    Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.
    Garbage accruing. Is it fucking Monday?
    Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.
    Sneak to the dumpster.Drop the trash.
    I turn away in a flas.
    It’s not Monday. I must dash.
    Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.
    C-I-L-L my land lord!

    May 21, 2009 at 9:43 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   claw71 bang

      Now do Kill de White People

      May 21, 2009 at 10:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   amy d bang

      I am not talented enough to do song parodies, Claw. You do it.

      And now I just noticed that I dropped the ‘h’ from flash. Kill me instead. :roll: Wait, I am a white people.

      May 21, 2009 at 10:33 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   Canthz_B bang

      Not to worry, amy. We’re usually drunk or stoned, and “flash” comes out as “flas”.
      I totally got your meaning! :-)

      May 22, 2009 at 1:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   MagPie bang

    So, what if you’re leavin’ for a huntin’ trip wit pa and Bobby Joe an’ yer fixin’ ta be gone a spell? Don’ wanna miss that thar trash man!

    May 21, 2009 at 9:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      You all will be taking that trash with you to the deer woods. you can burn it there along with all the trash ya’ll make while yer out huntin’. At least that’s what they do in Arkansas.

      May 21, 2009 at 11:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Mishee™ bang

    This was an actual conversation between my BFF and her little brother, who lives in Harper’s Ferry, WV.

    (*Note: neither of them had ever seen Google Earth before I pulled it up on my computer one day to punch in his address so she could see his house)

    Sadie: OMG, you live near some creepy looking woods! And what’s that lot with all those cars next to your house??

    Shane: Oh, that’s the junkyard.

    Sadie: You live next door to a junkyard?! Well, I guess you don’t have to go far to get parts for your car then, huh?

    Shane: Oh no! I wouldn’t go to that junkyard! I go to the good junkyard across town..

    Sadie: You have a good and a bad junkyard?

    Shane: Yep.

    May 21, 2009 at 10:22 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   claw71 bang

    I’m very familiar with West Virginia and I’m here to tell you that Harpers Ferry is not representative of the rest of the state. The entire eastern panhandle is essentially a bedroom community to the movers and shakers who work in Washington DC. The cost of living is much higher than anywhere else in the state and you will notice a huge contrast in culture.

    That sign is very East Coast. You’d expect that sort of thing in New York, Boston or DC but try pulling that shit in Charleston or Summersville and you’re going to receive a visit from the local po-po.

    Moreover, most landlords in the rest of West Virginia wouldn’t be too upset over finding garbage strewn about their property. In some places, like Grafton for example, they’d think you were weird if you didn’t dispose of household waste by simply chucking it out the nearest winder.

    May 21, 2009 at 10:25 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   JJFBaltzell

      Ashbaugh (the hopeful politician/landlord) is a local, been here forever.

      May 21, 2009 at 1:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   BrookeDiz bang

      Claw,

      The looks of the whole alley itself belies the notion that it’s a bedroom community. Unless it’s a bedroom community for meth heads.

      May 21, 2009 at 2:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   Canthz_B bang

      I’ve always thought of the term “bedroom community” as White for “ghetto” and “barrio”.

      May 21, 2009 at 9:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      We’re in the one next to the bedroom community, you know,the servants quarters. Thats on the other side of the tracks from the same bedroom.

      May 23, 2009 at 1:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.5   Canthz_B bang

      Oh, I think the PC term for that is a “working-class neighborhood”.

      Deciphering evening news code should be offered for course credit at every community college!

      “Hey, Buddy…you’re just as poor as those people in the working-class neighborhood, but you live in a bedroom community!
      Don’t you feel superior now?”

      May 23, 2009 at 1:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   B Rad

    Fucking trash goes out on Monday, regular trash goes out on Tuesday!

    May 21, 2009 at 11:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   N/A

    I’d take it down and stick it in the trash. Drives me crazy when people post signs with that kind of language, it’s just so tacky. I know, it’s a total mom thing to do but hey, if his mom had raised him right I wouldn’t have to do it for her ;-)

    May 21, 2009 at 11:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   not_an_ola

      Actually, swearing in public in West Virginia is an offense punishable by a fine of $1 per act.

      May 22, 2009 at 5:24 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   claw71 bang

    Now here’s a little story ’bout a guy named Dean
    A Harper’s Ferry landlord who couldn’t keep his rentals clean
    He posted up a sign that was sort of rude
    but he was sick of walking in half-eaten rotten food
    trash that is….refuse ,ya see

    Next thing you know old Dean’s a PAN-brity
    and his plight is the subject of another parody
    if only his sign hadn’t used the word fuck
    we wouldn’t be laughing at his run of bad luck

    May 21, 2009 at 11:44 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Marklar

    Really, doesn’t this violate obscenity laws or something?

    May 21, 2009 at 12:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   anglophile bang

      Are you sure you didn’t mean to post “Marklar”?

      ;)

      May 21, 2009 at 12:35 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Clumber

      And the trespassers will be violated.
      Obscenely.

      May 21, 2009 at 12:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   ClickClack bang

      Glo obviously wishes we were living in a post-Marklar! world.

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      May 21, 2009 at 12:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.4   park rose

      @29.2: forgive us, landlord, all our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us

      May 21, 2009 at 12:44 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Resident Grammarian esq bang

    I want to move to West Virginia just to vote for that guy, then leave.

    May 21, 2009 at 12:52 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   oi!

    To my renters:
    throw your fucking trash in a fucking pile near broken fence. I fucking promised to fix it but then you will be fucking confused about where to litter, given that you already are fucking confused about day of littering!
    Your landlord

    May 21, 2009 at 1:03 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Eric bang

    Depends on which Jefferson County I’m voting in…

    Is it the one named after Thomas Jefferson, Jefferson Davis, Jefferson D’Arcy or George & Weezie?

    Oh… and of course how many $2 bills he’s handing out. Unless of course he’s spendin em on fucking trash!

    May 21, 2009 at 1:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   se

    If it’s Tuesday when I catch my wife in the bedroom with her boyfriend, I have to wait until the following Monday to throw them out?
    How is that fair?

    May 21, 2009 at 3:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Mishee™ bang

      You should really not keep them around that long se.

      Perhaps make a special dump run?

      May 21, 2009 at 3:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   orgy guy

      On Two-fer Tuesdays you’re supposed to join them. Didn’t you know that?

      Then there’s whack-off Wednesday where you sit in the corner and pleasure yourself and Three-way Thrusdays where she brings home her girlfriend. Fellatio Fridays are fun too but I can do without Socrates Saturday (all gay) and Syphilis Sunday.

      May 21, 2009 at 5:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   a non-eMuss

      I thought weekends were supposed to be fun. But all gay Saturdays and waking up with a sore on your… doesn’t sound like the kind of weekend I enjoy

      May 21, 2009 at 11:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Tabitha

    I would totally vote for this guy!

    May 21, 2009 at 5:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Sirius¤ bang

    I’m going to run the county like I run my businesses: straight talk, no bullshit — but some fucking. Oh yes, there will be fucking.

    May 21, 2009 at 6:53 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   fluffy8u

      Well, it wouldn’t be the first time. HEY CB! Would a Clinton joke be in bad taste or would it be too old?

      I would like to make sure my jokes are up to your standard. ;-)

      May 21, 2009 at 9:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   Canthz_B bang

      I don’t think there was any Lewinsky-fucking, fluff, and Clinton’s from Arkansas, but have at if you just must. ;-)

      May 21, 2009 at 9:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   Diane

    I would put my trash out on Monday, right after the garbage truck pulled away. There’s rarely (never say never, right?) a reason to treat your customers like that, especially once the originally offending party moves away. It only begs people to do the opposite.

    May 21, 2009 at 11:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   TheOldSchool

      Diane,

      Two problems. First, the garbage is picked up on Tuesday. Second, “W” is the landlord, and you know he’s going to raise your rent if the play he’s written about you bombs. (And what are the chances?)

      May 21, 2009 at 11:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   Diane

      Eh, what’s a few more BJ’s every month? I mean, we’re so deeply in love, he doesn’t consider me a friend, or even an acquaintance!

      (I saw the Tuesday notices after I had already left my message.)

      May 22, 2009 at 12:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.3   TheOldSchool

      Diane,

      I hope you don’t mind me asking a personal question about W’s poetry, but I’m working on a poem of my own at the moment, and I’m wondering how the master would tackle a problem I’m having.

      Knowing W as you so intimately do, if he were given a choice of referring to his semen as either: “pecker snot,” or “dick sick,” which road do you think he’d choose?

      Or, which, in your opinion, seems the most reminiscent of W’s essence?

      May 22, 2009 at 12:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.4   TheOldSchool

      If the cadence was appropriate, I’d go with “jizzleberry yogurt,” but it just doesn’t flow the way I’d like.

      As soon as I come to jizzleberry yogurt, everything just sputter-spurts to a limp conclusion.

      I’m sure you gobbled up your fair share of pearls of wisdom from W through the cold New England winter nights in West Virginia.

      I’ll bet he’s a big teddy bear isn’t he?

      May 22, 2009 at 12:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.5   Diane

      Oh, he’s all high society- he’d go with something classy like ‘man juice’ or ‘love oil’. ‘Dick sick’ has such a nice ring to it, though, and I like that it rhymes.

      May 22, 2009 at 7:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.6   TheOldSchool

      You must be into “itive.” The word was “lick!” (I kid you not.)

      This can’t be happening….

      Quick, tell me what I’m thinking…right……………..now!

      May 22, 2009 at 10:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.7   Diane

      Well, it’s pretty obvious that you’re thinking about W’s naughty bits. (‘My’ W or the country’s W- take your pick.)

      May 23, 2009 at 7:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.8   park rose

      or prick.

      May 23, 2009 at 10:09 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.9   TheOldSchool

      Or just flicking my Bic….

      May 23, 2009 at 11:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   TP

    Hoorah for spelling and grammar. I like a man that is straight and to the point. He has my vote (even though I live fah, fah away).

    May 22, 2009 at 1:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Canthz_B bang

      I love a woman who knows what she wants in a man! :-P

      May 22, 2009 at 2:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   Phalange

      I love a woman who knows she wants a man in her. Especially if that man is me.

      May 22, 2009 at 8:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   claw71 bang

    This one goes out to the ones who rent
    this one goes out to those who left trash behind
    It’s Monday–fuck– that’s collection time
    this one goes out to the ones who rent.

    May 22, 2009 at 8:42 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   KoT

    Gee, what a novel idea … FOLLOW THE FUCKING RULES! He’d have my vote, but I live in CA where the liberals live without rules and the conservatives end up paying for their mistakes!

    May 23, 2009 at 1:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   TheOldSchool

      KoT:

      Cheney and Bush did such a splendid job, it is a bit surprising that everyone isn’t a republican.

      If you have the time, could you kindly explain what you mean when you blurt: “the liberals live without rules.”

      Please don’t take offense, but you do sound rather like an incoherent mental patient who has somehow managed to gain unauthorized access your institution’s pharmaceuticals closet.

      May 25, 2009 at 5:17 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   Victoria

      CA has a Republican governor, right?

      May 25, 2009 at 5:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Canthz_B bang

    To my renters, please don’t rent me next month.
    I need a fucking break!

    May 25, 2009 at 6:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Robert

    Thanks, keep bringing the funny! Reposted at : http://iamhilarious.com/xoxo-your-landlord/

    May 27, 2009 at 9:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Fog Media

    I love that this guy paid to have a metal sign made to express his message.

    May 28, 2009 at 7:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Meanwhile, on the Internet… [ ALIS.ME ]

    [...] Circle LensesPretty funny ads made by Acuve Contacts for– Well, click and you'll see.xoxo, your landlordWhen I'm a landlord I'm totally going to put up big, professionally-made signs with swearing [...]

    Nov 13, 2011 at 3:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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