Your are welcome to our home

May 22nd, 2009 · 156 comments

Writes Linda in Austin, Texas: “This note popped up a few months ago on my downstairs neighbor’s door, but I didn’t take a look at it until now.” But how much longer will it be before she garners an invite from this gracious host?

your are welcome to our home

related: why you don’t want to go to b-school, in two words

FILED UNDER: Austin · CAPS LOCK · neighbors · spelling and grammar police


156 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Wade bang

    But as for the girls room, anything goes.

    May 22, 2009 at 8:51 am   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Canthz_B bang

      Great, Wade.

      Now that song will be in my head all fracking day! :-D

      May 22, 2009 at 9:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Mishee™ bang

      Funny CB, I thought he didn’t like girls…

      May 22, 2009 at 9:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Canthz_B bang

      Well, Mishee™, you know Wade’s “anything goes” is a Ted Bundyesque statement. ;-)

      May 22, 2009 at 9:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   claw71 bang

      Anything goes in the boys room, just as long as you clean up after yourself. The thing is, I usually don’t leave behind much of a mess. At least not in the room. If Johnny doesn’t take a bath when I’ve finished with him that’s not my problem.

      May 22, 2009 at 9:23 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Mishee™ bang

      What does it say about me that I was thinking of Cole Porter….

      Oh well….

      *goes and sits in the nerd corner*

      May 22, 2009 at 9:23 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   unholyghost2003 bang

      Good authors too who once knew better words now only use for letter words writing prose!

      May 22, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   MissMelony

      It says you are a great wit and cultured albeit sex obsessed woman :)

      I love Cole Porter

      May 22, 2009 at 10:43 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   unholyghost2003 bang

      Why Mishee you are High Society

      May 22, 2009 at 10:57 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   Mishee™ bang

      Did I hear the word “sex”?

      May 22, 2009 at 11:06 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   Sirius¤ bang

      Fish, bananas
      Old pajamas
      Mutton, beef and trout!

      How does your Anything Goes go?

      May 22, 2009 at 11:15 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   Snayl

      Call in the rollerskating Vicar!!!!

      May 28, 2009 at 4:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   TheMiki

    Haha, I love how when there are no comments this site specifically urges you to refrain from posting ‘first.’ Now that I know that I find the people that do it even more sad and pathetic.

    Someone should tell the note writer that exclamation points are for emphasis, and putting one at the end of every single sentence kinda defeats the purpose. Also, why does most of the note display decent English and then the rule about the bathroom look like it was written by a foreign language student translating directly through Babelfish.com?

    May 22, 2009 at 8:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   park rose

      I agree!!!!!!
      Exclamation points! are for ! em!pha!sis!, and putting one! at the !!! end of e!V!e!r!y single sentence! kinda!! defeats the ! porpoise.!!

      Plus those foreign language students transporting through Babelfish.com… sheesh, what do they know? But give ‘em a break. I’m figuring something got lost in the anti-matter.

      May 22, 2009 at 11:54 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Olson

      bathroom?

      May 22, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   unholyghost2003 bang

      I think TheMiki interpreted “Boy’s Room” as “Men’s Room” or “Bathroom’

      May 22, 2009 at 5:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Geek Goddess

      Perhaps this passes for decent English where you live. Personally, I found all of the points painful to read.

      May 22, 2009 at 6:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Wade bang

      About halfway through the note the writer switched from Low English to High Umbrage.

      May 22, 2009 at 8:17 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Sheila

    lol – so many !!!

    May 22, 2009 at 8:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Mishee™ bang

    I would’ve loved to find the .doc file in her computer and “Find/Replace” the word Home with Pussy

    May 22, 2009 at 8:58 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   amy d bang

      I just reread the note with that in mind. :lol: What would “kitchen” signify in the 6th statement?

      May 22, 2009 at 9:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   unholyghost2003 bang

      I think you could leave “kitchen” as kitchen … it would just give statement 6 the meaning “Put out and Get out. No post-coital breakfast for YOU.”

      May 22, 2009 at 10:00 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Sirius¤ bang

      You want me to knock first? What am I supposed to knock on?

      What am I supposed to knock with?

      May 22, 2009 at 11:19 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Mishee™ bang

      I suppose you should just use the knockers.

      I have huge ones.

      Like in Young Frankenstein.

      May 22, 2009 at 11:25 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Sirius¤ bang

      *thinks about Teri Garr*
      *Now I’ve got something to knock with*

      May 22, 2009 at 11:33 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   Mishee™ bang

      Would it make it better if I thumbed you?

      Too late! :D

      May 22, 2009 at 11:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   DearJane

      Thumb-a thumb-a thumb me….
      I wanna get thu-uh-umbed!
      (and later, if there’s time, we’ll do the time warp.)

      May 22, 2009 at 11:41 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   Brooser

      Knockers of the night….

      ((<3 Rocky Horror))

      May 22, 2009 at 1:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.9   Eric bang

      Find: YOUR; YOU

      Replace with: YOUR COCKS

      May 22, 2009 at 3:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Wade bang

    I like how the imperial “we” creeps into the home reference at the end of the note.

    May 22, 2009 at 9:01 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Mishee™ bang

      Anytime I think of the Imperial “We” I think of Carrie from Flowers in the Attic when speaking for herself and Cory….

      “Weeeeeeeeee don’t like this nasty food!”

      “Weeeee want to go outside!”

      That note could’ve been left by the Grandmother I suppose…

      May 22, 2009 at 9:05 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   park rose

      They just haven’t figured out metric yet.

      May 22, 2009 at 11:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    You are welcome to our home, but not inside it, my friends.

    May 22, 2009 at 9:03 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Canthz_B bang

      *If I’ve already cleaned what I did in the boys room, why should I clean again?

      May 22, 2009 at 9:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    Sounds like it was written by an “Odessa” participant to me.

    May 22, 2009 at 9:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   fantasy bang

    If you happen to have had a teenage boy, that pretty much cancels out being gracious.

    If the “boys” are older than twenty the note should be just a heads up to “I will be a bitch, so don’t let me have to look at you in the morning”.

    May 22, 2009 at 9:08 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   ClickClack bang

      Now, now, Fantasy. Bragging about the teenage boys you’ve had is neither polite nor wise. Nevertheless, I should hope that they were gracious to you — and grateful, and very discreet.

      May 22, 2009 at 12:40 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Sirius¤ bang

      . . . and if they took your hint, they should be gone before you woke.

      May 22, 2009 at 1:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    I hope these kids have their papers in order before they visit the boys!

    May 22, 2009 at 9:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   maggie

    sounds like she is fed up with stupid kids. i dont blame her.

    May 22, 2009 at 9:17 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   claw71 bang

      We don’t blame her for being frustrated. It is truly annoying to have wayward kids running wild around your house, pooping in closets and eating your leftover sweet and sour chicken.

      What we blame her for is posting this note. If I were a kid stopping in for a visit I’d see this note and realize that this is the extent of this woman’s power. Victory.

      May 22, 2009 at 9:46 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   park rose

      You’re good, Claw. And I’m not talking about your python.

      May 22, 2009 at 11:58 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   MissMelony

      Good? The man is awesomeness personified. Take notes people! And i hear he’s not bad in the sack…

      May 22, 2009 at 1:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   MagPie bang

      Wonder what kind of note she would leave if they started pissing on fences and leaving their cigarette butts everywhere…..

      Also like how she mentiones that whomever can have fun with their friends, but then there’s all these rules. Who fucking knocks any more any way?

      May 22, 2009 at 1:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   park rose bang

      Well, MissMelony, to riff on Cb’s 1.3 comment, if by ‘good’ you mean ‘Peter Sutcliffe’ then maybe Claw is ‘awesomeness personified’. Though you could be referring to the 3rd definition of ‘good’ or ‘awesomeness personified’: “Jeffery Dahmer.”

      Dahmer’s crimes involved rape, torture, dismemberment, necrophilia and cannibalism, or how to raid a refrigerator at the 12.45 mark, causing and ensuring maximum collateral damage. Pity the poor drone standing anywhere near the door.

      That’s where the cannibalism part comes into it, and of course, even though Claw is legend, it is not possible for him to eat more than one co-worker in a single sitting. That’s where the dismemberment part comes into it. And as for necrophilia, well, that’s also where the dismemberment part comes into it. The only anomaly with the comparison is the puzzling ommission of girl scouts and their cookies.

      And I already said I wasn’t talking about the python. ;)

      May 22, 2009 at 4:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   Michelle

      Yeah. I have a teenager and her room is the entire finished basement. Usually, on any given weekend, there will be a sleepover. Several teens at once. They used to raid my fridge and cook frikkin meals in the middle of the night. Had to lay down rules for them as it was getting out of hand.

      May 22, 2009 at 5:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   mamason bang

      Good job, Michelle!

      Everyone? A round of kudos for Michelle please, for being a good mommy and laying down some rules for her teenager!

      May 23, 2009 at 12:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   Canthz_B bang

      If she’d go ahead and supply her daughter with a fridge and a range for her basement apartment, they both could live in total bliss.

      Come on, Michelle…do the right thing. ;-)

      May 23, 2009 at 2:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Mishee™ bang

    Ever notice that since Bush went home, there has been an influx of PAN submissions from Texas? Namely Austin….

    Just makes me wonder…

    Either that or kerry has been doing some serious networking in her new city of residence…

    May 22, 2009 at 9:17 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   claw71 bang

      I always wonder about Kerry’s new digs. She’s one of those pinko commie liberals from Jew York City. I know Austin’s weird and has a lot of hippies, but there are a lot of conservatives there who haven’t advanced their perceptions since the 70s. The 1870s. Plus Austin is a lot smaller than New York and the rest of Texas is frightening. Their fucking governor was talking about leaving the Union, for crying out loud!

      May 22, 2009 at 9:28 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Mishee™ bang

      Let’s hope the Governor of Texas makes good on his talking.

      *prays*

      May 22, 2009 at 9:34 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   ClickClack bang

      Hey, Texas: Put your fucking governor out on Monday.

      May 22, 2009 at 12:44 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   L

      Well, since Bush is in Dallas, and people in Austin overwhelmingly don’t care for him, I doubt it’s related. Austin is mostly just happy he’s not president anymore.

      May 22, 2009 at 1:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Mishee™ bang

      With my original comment I was actually going for the more “They are really pissed and tense now that they have to share a state with him again”

      But I guess my point got lost somewhere along the way…

      Kind of like Bush’s presidency…

      May 22, 2009 at 1:33 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Sirius¤ bang

      But that’s only because of an intelligence failure. I mean, he didn’t have good intelligence. I mean — oh, fuck it; the man’s a dipshit.

      May 22, 2009 at 1:58 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   Bunnee

      My husband calls our governor “Governor Goodhair” and I, for one, applaud him. (My husband, not our ridiculous governor.) Yes, we know he is an idiot, and it does suck having GWB roaming free around DFW, and there are a plethora of white-haired good ole’ boy networks running this state, but despite it all, I still kinda’ like it here, for the most part. And if that makes me wrong, well, y’all know the rest. :)

      *relinquishes soapbox to next in line

      May 22, 2009 at 3:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   Olson

      What the hell is wrong with good ole boys networks?? Doesn’t it count for anything that they’re good???

      May 22, 2009 at 5:04 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   Canthz_B bang

      I’ve got nothing against Texas.
      Any State where the populous is ardently Pro-Life and strongly supports the Death Penalty must be a wonderful place to experience twisted logic.

      May 22, 2009 at 7:38 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.10   Snippy

      Not looking to start more trouble, but I think that you meant to type populace, CB.

      May 22, 2009 at 9:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.11   Canthz_B bang

      Thanks, Snippy, I stared at that for a bit before I sent it too! :-)

      May 22, 2009 at 10:20 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.12   mamason bang

      Maybe you should have read it, CB. hehe ;-)

      May 23, 2009 at 12:57 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.13   Canthz_B bang

      Functional illiterates like me don’t actually read, mamason. We just move our lips convincingly, and nod thoughtfully.

      May 23, 2009 at 1:43 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.14   mamason bang

      :lol: mmm hmmm

      May 23, 2009 at 1:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.15   TheOldSchool

      CB, I think that’s called, giving someone a “hummer.”

      May 23, 2009 at 2:05 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.16   Canthz_B bang

      LOL, TOS. When my kids were little, my 1st wife and I used to tell them we were going into our room to “read” when “the mood” hit us!
      She was a great singer, my 1st wife…and an excellent hummer as well! :-D

      May 23, 2009 at 2:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   claw71 bang

    But you have it all wrong. I most certainly do respect your home. I respect it more than you could possibly know. It’s you I don’t respect.

    May 22, 2009 at 9:21 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   zenvelo

    so Mom says whatever goes on is okay as long as we clean up- but the landlord said only put out the fucking trash on Mondays.

    what is a boy to do with all those used condoms over the weekend????

    May 22, 2009 at 9:42 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   EyeHeartA2

    Austin Texas……The epicenter of PAN.

    May 22, 2009 at 9:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Wade bang

    Anyone else think it’s weird that an apartment would have a men’s (and presumably women’s) restroom?

    May 22, 2009 at 9:54 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   DearJane

      I think many a marriage would be saved if more homes had mens and womens separate bathrooms….

      May 22, 2009 at 9:57 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   claw71 bang

      We don’t have an official designation but in the mornings, rather than fight over the one bathroom in our double wide, I put the kitchen sink to use. We both get to work on time and I don’t get yelled at for leaving skidmarks in the toilet. God, I do love that Dispos-All.

      May 22, 2009 at 10:51 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   ryanmalloy

      What about the skidmarks in the kitchen sink?

      May 22, 2009 at 12:25 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   mamason bang

      What about the fecal mist? 8-O

      May 22, 2009 at 2:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   ryanmalloy

      That’s when it all fell like s###.

      May 22, 2009 at 3:44 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Evil Homer

    Your know, I don’t really think we’re are welcome in you’re home.

    May 22, 2009 at 9:56 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   not_an_ola

      we’re are?

      May 23, 2009 at 7:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   ryanmalloy

      @not_an_ola:
      is that the only mistake in Evil Homer’s post you found? poor job, then.

      May 23, 2009 at 12:37 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Mishee™ bang

      Evil Homer’s post makes my eyes bleed and I throw up a little bit in my mouth…

      *trots off to find the Listerine*

      May 23, 2009 at 12:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   anglophile bang

      I’m pretty sure that was the effect Evil Homer was going for.

      May 23, 2009 at 12:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   Canthz_B bang

      I’m ROTFL at Evil Homer’s clever post.

      EH, you sly dog!! :lol:

      May 23, 2009 at 1:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   Evil Homer

      Well done CB, you appear to be the only person that recognised my admittedly poor attempt at taking the piss out of the note writer’s intro to her masterpiece (“YOUR are welcome to our home”).

      Please, attempt to keep up people. If you promise to understand my humour I promise to make an effort to actually be funny.

      May 24, 2009 at 5:27 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   Canthz_B bang

      Anglophile was on board as well, EH.
      As her name implies, she appreciates “humour”! :-D

      May 24, 2009 at 5:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.8   Evil Homer

      Ah yes, I did realise that thanks CB – but after the hate you’ve been on the receiving end of recently I thought you were perhaps a little more in need of the positive reinforcement.

      So it looks like you, me and Anglophile are the only ones that find inappropriate your/you’re usage amusing.

      Oooooh was that a pot-shot at my non-American spelling of “humor” I spy…?? That’s me – putting the U in HUMOUR ;)

      May 24, 2009 at 6:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.9   Canthz_B bang

      It’s all good EH, negative comments are just a part of my odyssey here! :-P

      May 25, 2009 at 6:32 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.10   Beanster bang

      * high fives evil homer for ironic apostrophe use and proper “U” usage *

      *just wants to be involved*

      May 25, 2009 at 8:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.11   Evil Homer

      *happy to involve Beanster anywhere, anytime*

      May 25, 2009 at 2:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   amy d bang

    You’ve already told me I must go home by 10 p.m., therefore I obviously “don’t belong” in your home, therefore I don’t have to respect your home. :D

    *pees on floor*

    May 22, 2009 at 10:01 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Beth

    I need to post that on the front door of our house. I can totally understand the sentiments (if not the English used to express them), especially since our house apparently has absolutely no sound-proofing. I can’t tell you how special it is to be woken up at 2am to the sound of somebody in the bathroom peeing.

    May 22, 2009 at 10:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Mishee™ bang

      See Beth, that’s why they should all go on the fence in the backyard!! Its only polite…

      May 22, 2009 at 10:32 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   ClickClack bang

      Not as special as waking up at 2:00 am to the feeling of somebody peeing.

      May 22, 2009 at 12:47 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Flaboy2425

    Her kid can hardly wait until he turns 18 and can get away from mom’s endless bitching.. No fun, no eating, no watching the late show. What is a kid to do?

    May 22, 2009 at 10:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Mishee™ bang

      Why do you think that mothers bitch?

      If life living at mom’s house was all fun and games, they would NEVER leave!

      Duh.

      May 22, 2009 at 11:19 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   a non-eMuss bang

      She doesn’t even let her own kid stay past 10 p.m. and no sleeping over. Now thats tough love.

      May 23, 2009 at 12:39 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   claw71 bang

    I’m really nervous about what kind of kids the author is raising. This is the sort of thing you address with your kids. The standing rule my parents had for us was that we were accountable for our guests. If Tom Boiarski dumped a five gallon bucket of green army guys all over my room and left, I had to clean it up. If Chad Fernandez ate my dad’s roast beef sandwich I had to make him another one. If Chuck Taylor got my sister pregnant I had to abort the baby, or marry her.

    Her kids are the ones inviting the assholes in. Deal with them. Damn, I’m glad I sold my kids to those Pakistani guys.

    May 22, 2009 at 11:19 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Mishee™ bang

      Wait a minute…

      You used to hang out with basketball shoes?

      May 22, 2009 at 11:20 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   DearJane

      and how is a basketball shoe capable of impregnating his sister? I think that’s the bigger question here….

      May 22, 2009 at 11:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   ClickClack bang

      By dribbling.

      May 22, 2009 at 12:48 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   Oh Yay

      This looks like something I would see at the house of people I hung out with in high school. Their mom was a single woman who worked two full-time jobs. She was also completely lost in the parenting department. To her, kids were these eating, drinking, pot smoking little shits who tore up her house with their awful friends until she could make them go live with their sister and get knocked up when they were 16.

      May 26, 2009 at 9:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   SuperMe

    TRANSLATION:

    Hookers Wanted!

    You are here to do a service!

    No overtime. Your shift is over by 10pm!

    You can’t turn a ho into a housewife, so quit trying to make yourself at home!

    Don’t interrupt someone else’s good time, and bring your own damned whipped cream.

    Keep it kinky, but don’t make it stinky! If you can’t handle this, there’s always the Bunny Ranch!

    May 22, 2009 at 11:38 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   DearJane

    “You are welcome to our home” does that mean we can take it?

    May 22, 2009 at 11:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Evil Homer

      As long as it is by 10pm and you clean up after yourself.

      May 22, 2009 at 12:10 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   ClearlyDemented

    DRINKING GAME:

    Have someone read above note in a robot voice. Every time they say the word ‘home’ take a shot/swig. Rotate readers as necessary.

    You’re welcome

    May 22, 2009 at 12:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Mishee™ bang

      I like it better with my “Find/Replace” idea in play…

      May 22, 2009 at 12:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   ClearlyDemented

      Of course. I thought that was a given.

      May 22, 2009 at 12:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Girl Friday

      My pussy (DRINK!) is not being respected and this I will no longer accept.

      And if you can’t respect our pussy (DRINK!) then you do not belong in this pussy (DRINK!)!

      Wow! This is like fighting and foreplay all wrapped up in one.

      May 22, 2009 at 12:53 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   Mishee™ bang

      Once you get married, fighting and foreplay are wrapped up in one…

      *sigh*

      May 22, 2009 at 12:57 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   MissMelony

      when you say fighting do you really mean bdsm?

      May 22, 2009 at 1:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.6   Sirius¤ bang

      Being into bdsm means never having to have makeup sex.

      May 22, 2009 at 2:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.7   Girl Friday

      Ummm – yeah. That’s what I meant.

      May 22, 2009 at 10:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.8   TheOldSchool

      As you celebrate this Memorial weekend, I just want to remind everyone that “safe words” are hard to decipher while one is ball-gagged.

      “Shoot your load — but use a code.”

      May 22, 2009 at 10:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.9   mamason bang

      Um, yeah… I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, TOS. When you said something about using a ball gag during our last encounter, I had no idea that you would be using your actual balls.

      May 23, 2009 at 1:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.10   TheOldSchool

      And Mamason, you taught me that when life stuffs a scrotum into your mouth, just make
      “scrotum-aid.”

      Now, whenever I hear Tchaikovsky, I’ll think of you.

      May 23, 2009 at 2:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.11   mamason bang

      That’s suite, TOS. ;-)

      May 24, 2009 at 7:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Indy Grrrl

    Hahaha! Caps lock always makes me laugh. It means the writer is SERIOUS! ; )

    May 22, 2009 at 12:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   leftfoot

    Apparently she’s read “How to Lose Friends and Influence Enemies”.

    May 22, 2009 at 1:00 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      You are saying that she is literate?

      May 23, 2009 at 1:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   TheOldSchool

    Good News!

    I’ve got a new job! I’m the “thumb fairy.”

    Once a day, I’ll magically appear and give a thumb up to anyone who doesn’t yet have one.

    Because, to me, you’re all great!

    May 22, 2009 at 1:19 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   ClickClack bang

      Put down the Thumb Fairy Dust, TOS.

      May 22, 2009 at 1:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   TheOldSchool

      Small Print: That doesn’t mean I’ll necessarily leave after the thumb rounds are completed.

      It just means that I’m only going to do the thumb thing once a day.

      Thumbing is more of a pain in the ass than you might think. (Maybe I should hire someone to do it for me. No. I’ll do it, damn it! Manual labor builds character.)

      *Wince.*

      “It’s nothin’, ma’am. I’m alright. Just a little carpal tunnel I picked up, helpin’ folks out gettin’ thumbs-up on their comments.”

      Folks gathered on main street, two hours later, all staring at the sillohuette of their savior amblin’ bow-legged into the setting sun.

      Various questions, whimpers, sighs, moans, and sounds indicative of gastric distress are heard from the gathered crowd: “Who was that nice man?” “Why does he walk so funny?” “I’m late for my period!”

      May 22, 2009 at 1:27 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   ClickClack bang

      “Thumbing is more of a pain in the ass than you might think.”

      Well, of course. That’s just fundamental.

      May 22, 2009 at 1:34 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.4   amy d bang

      “Thumbing is more of a pain in the ass than you might think.”

      That’s what she said.

      May 22, 2009 at 1:43 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.5   Sirius¤ bang

      TOS: Thank you, fellow PANatic; you are doing a great service to us all. Now, even ISuck can achieve greater-than-zero status!

      ClickClack: Fundamental? Of, or relating to, the fundament? That, sir, is brilliant.

      TOS: Another round of thumbs for ClickClack, if you please.

      May 22, 2009 at 2:07 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.6   Olson

      I don’t think that’s thumb fairy dust…It kinda looks like…thumb fairy….lube…

      May 22, 2009 at 5:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.7   racerx22

      I just want to get enough thumbs up to get that secret decoder ring that whistles when I blow on it.

      May 23, 2009 at 12:30 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.8   mamason bang

      TOS whistles when you blow him…

      It is annoyingly disruptive to concentration…

      May 23, 2009 at 1:08 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.9   TheOldSchool

      It’s just sometimes when I’m really at peace, I get that theme song from the Andy Griffith Show going through my head, and I can’t NOT whistle it.

      May 23, 2009 at 1:51 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.10   krewe

      If you give a thumbs up to every single comment, doesn’t that shoot the curve all to hell?

      May 26, 2009 at 2:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.11   Mishee™ bang

      but krewe, doesn’t having at least a +1 make you feel a little better about yourself?

      May 26, 2009 at 2:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.12   krewe

      Sure. But if everyone else got a +1 at the same time, how much better about myself am I really allowed to feel?

      May 26, 2009 at 3:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.13   amy d bang

      Good point, Krewe, but contrast that with how you would feel if everyone except for you got a +1.

      May 26, 2009 at 3:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.14   krewe

      Well, that would just be sad.

      May 26, 2009 at 3:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   msims

    Sounds like a parent fed up with their son’s friends.

    May 22, 2009 at 1:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   claw71 bang

      Holy crap! I’m glad somebody figured that out. I just wish you would have been here to clarifiy that sooner and spared us all the humilation of our misguided comments.

      May 22, 2009 at 2:50 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   mamason bang

      Gee… You think so?

      May 22, 2009 at 2:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Bernd das Brot bang

      Not at all, it’s called tough love.

      May 22, 2009 at 3:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   racerx22

      CRAP! I guess misims got to the decoder ring before I did.

      May 23, 2009 at 12:33 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.5   a non-eMuss bang

      Not with the thumbs that comment is getting

      May 23, 2009 at 12:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   oi!

    You are welcome in our home!

    blah
    blah
    blah
    blah
    blah
    blah
    blah
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    NOT!

    May 22, 2009 at 2:05 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   anglophobe

    I’ve left notes like this, but not for kids. My BF brings his freinds over and they act like it’s a frat party. 45 years old and he’s funnel Natty Light. WTF? Then I catch him in bed with the neighbor’s daughter. She’s young, but she’s morbidly obese and sleeps with anybody for validation.

    It gets out of hand everytime. One time he passed out and two of his s0-called friends snuck into my room and had their way with me. It was horrible. Two big sweaty guys, covered in body hair, Cheetos dust and English Leather aftershave. One of them leaned over and puked on my slippers halfway through.

    So I put up signs. I don’t mind them disrespecting me, but I hate having to clean up after them.

    May 22, 2009 at 3:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   misheese

      So what does this have do with me, other than the fact I’ve been to a biker orgy or two.

      May 22, 2009 at 3:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   F-Bomb bang

      These are not the droids you are looking for.

      May 22, 2009 at 4:12 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   oi!

      Hey Phobe, It was actually puking you minded, I see.

      May 22, 2009 at 4:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.4   Eric bang

      *throws hot dog down the hallway*

      Do you see the problem here?

      May 22, 2009 at 4:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.5   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Heck, I thought she was just bragging.
      She fancys herself a cougar..*rawr*

      May 22, 2009 at 4:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.6   Sirius¤ bang

      If he vomits during sex — he’s just not that into you.

      May 22, 2009 at 4:50 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.7   MAMARILLA2 bang

      If he vomits during sex, you need to bathe.

      May 22, 2009 at 4:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.8   unholyghost2003 bang

      Hello Some people are into vomit. Ever hear of Rule 34 people?

      May 22, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.9   Saysh bang

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that.*

      May 22, 2009 at 9:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.10   yousuck

      re: 29 & 29.1 – I’m pretty sure we know who you are… you can change your name but you can’t change the distinctive smell of curdled buttermilk & day old taquitos…

      May 23, 2009 at 12:25 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   WillBraden bang

    “your are welcome to our home”

    how is anyone thinking this could be a native english speaker? I call shenanigans…

    May 23, 2009 at 2:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Canthz_B bang

      Your call.

      May 23, 2009 at 3:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Canthz_B bang

    There will be no more sleeping over?

    Does that mean they have to sleep in the basement from now on?

    May 25, 2009 at 6:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Woman on the Verge bang

    I’m pretty sure the note writer is using a different dictionary than the rest of us… Welcome = do not enter + do not eat + do not sleep + do not make a mess?

    Huh. Sounds like my mother-in-law’s house…

    May 25, 2009 at 11:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   thanks for not asking

    [...] related: your are welcome to our home [...]

    Jun 29, 2009 at 11:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   What happens when you push “Minnesota Nice” one muddy step too far? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Your are welcome to our home [...]

    Nov 14, 2010 at 8:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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