Entries from May 2009

Thanks, Mom, for reminding me why I moved out in the first place

May 10th, 2009 · 95 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I’m the oldest of four girls, none of whom are living at home. In fact, we’re all currently living in different states. My mom resents the fact that we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives living under her roof. On Mother’s Day she screened my call, then mass-texted all four of us this gem. Happy Mother’s day, Mom!!”

just want 2 wish u all happy kids day!

Meanwhile, Stephen in Spain thought he was being considerate by waiting until later in the day to call, given the six-hour time difference. Next year, he’ll know to wake his Mom up at 4 a.m. to show her JUST HOW MUCH HE CARES!

I know that it doesn't mean much that I am your mother

related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have

Tags: e-mail · martyr complex · Moms & Dads · Mother's Day · text message

A “sincere” apology

May 7th, 2009 · 371 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter in San Francisco: “I spotted this on the sidewalk on my way to work. (It wasn’t obviously attached to anything, just laying there.)  I realize parking in SF is a real nightmare, with driveways every .03 inches, but come on!

Sincerely, your hardworking neighbor

related: How Berkeley

Tags: car · parking · San Francisco · sarcasm

I’ll have u know

May 6th, 2009 · 290 Comments

A busy working mom in Austin, Texas got this little love note on her BlackBerry from her sixteen-year-old son. (Michael is his friend, by the way,  not the craft store.)

I c ur mad

In the end, our submitter adds, he didn’t take the bus after all. Total bluff!

related: friends don’t lie 2 friends

Tags: Austin · e-mail · kids today · Moms & Dads · schools & teachers · signed with love · spelling and grammar police

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

May 5th, 2009 · 107 Comments

Just remember: smashing packets of condiments might be a festive way to celebrate, but it’ll cost you.

Mayo packets are for sandwiches only!

(Thanks to Coral from Minnesota for the photo.)

related: Deviled egg, anyone?

Tags: restaurant · smiley

Spit & vinegar

May 3rd, 2009 · 197 Comments

Writes Matt in Los Angeles: “I went to get some of the 2% milk I keep in our communal work fridge for my coffee, and BAM! — front and center was this lovely.”

Do not use! I spit in this (since someone's been using it) THANKS! [I spit in it too! (since you're a jerk)]

related: And I’m singing “uh oh” on a Friday night

Tags: heart · Los Angeles · office fridge · rebuttals · spitting · thanks (but not really)

Just sayin’

May 1st, 2009 · 121 Comments

Passive-aggressive? Oh, heavens no! These are just a few selfless public service announcements.

From an office in Oregon

WE CAN HEAR YOUR WHISPERS NEXT DOOR.

New Zealand…

I CAN SEE YOU PEE

and Kentucky…

It's a small office. We know who you are. There's a toilet brush if you need to use it.

related: The overly friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the elevator for her that one time

Tags: big brother-ish · CAPS LOCK · Kentucky · noise · odor · office · Oregon