Entries from May 2009
Failed strategies in bicycle theft deterrence:
1. Assuming the thief who stole your bike is schooled in Italian neorealism; appealing to said thief’s desire to be one of the cool kids.
2. Feigning empathy for said thief.
3. Chiding said thief for his stupidity via a barely legible run-on sentence without double-checking “you’re” grammar first.
(Grazie mille to Nadia in Melbourne, Chris in Amsterdam, and Tom in London for submitting!)
related: No, Daddy, I asked for a Wii!
Tags: Amsterdam · Australia · bicycle · London · Melbourne · public shaming · stealing · your/you're
Writes our anonymous submitter: “I’m the oldest of four girls, none of whom are living at home. In fact, we’re all currently living in different states. My mom resents the fact that we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives living under her roof. On Mother’s Day she screened my call, then mass-texted all four of us this gem. Happy Mother’s day, Mom!!”
Meanwhile, Stephen in Spain thought he was being considerate by waiting until later in the day to call, given the six-hour time difference. Next year, he’ll know to wake his Mom up at 4 a.m. to show her JUST HOW MUCH HE CARES!
related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have
Tags: e-mail · martyr complex · Moms & Dads · Mother's Day · text message
Writes our anonymous submitter in San Francisco: “I spotted this on the sidewalk on my way to work. (It wasn’t obviously attached to anything, just laying there.) I realize parking in SF is a real nightmare, with driveways every .03 inches, but come on!
related: How Berkeley
Tags: car · parking · San Francisco · sarcasm
A busy working mom in Austin, Texas got this little love note on her BlackBerry from her sixteen-year-old son. (Michael is his friend, by the way, not the craft store.)
In the end, our submitter adds, he didn’t take the bus after all. Total bluff!
related: friends don’t lie 2 friends
Tags: Austin · e-mail · kids today · Moms & Dads · schools & teachers · signed with love · spelling and grammar police
Just remember: smashing packets of condiments might be a festive way to celebrate, but it’ll cost you.
(Thanks to Coral from Minnesota for the photo.)
related: Deviled egg, anyone?
Tags: restaurant · smiley
Writes Matt in Los Angeles: “I went to get some of the 2% milk I keep in our communal work fridge for my coffee, and BAM! — front and center was this lovely.”
related: And I’m singing “uh oh” on a Friday night
Tags: heart · Los Angeles · office fridge · rebuttals · spitting · thanks (but not really)
Passive-aggressive? Oh, heavens no! These are just a few selfless public service announcements.
From an office in Oregon…
related: The overly friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the elevator for her that one time
Tags: big brother-ish · CAPS LOCK · Kentucky · noise · odor · office · Oregon