This martyr alert spotted by Randy on the breakroom fridge of his office in Chico, California…

related: hostile takeover

Presenting the winner of the creative spelling (and spacing) of the year award, spotted by Rob in the recently-painted elevator of his Brooklyn apartment building. It has a lovely lyric quality to it, no?

related: Your are welcome to our home

At a recent wedding that Allison in Ealeigh, N.C. attended, the bride asked that, instead of signing a guestbook, wedding guests write their wishes for the couple on fabric squares that would later be made into a memory quilt. When allison saw this one sitting on top, she couldn’t resist snapping a photo.

related: taboo, the game of unsolicited douchebaggery

This (long-overdue) all-staff e-mail is like a fetus-sized version of one of my favorite self-righteous masterpieces. (How this one got buried in my inbox for so long, I have no idea.)

It comes to us courtesy of Jennifer in Chapel Hill, N.C., who notes: “In this instance, ‘local users,’ is everyone in our corporate HQ — including the president, vice presidents, directors, legal counsel, etc., who don’t typically utilize the refrigerator in the staff break room.”

related: it must have been a pretty big bite

extra credit: stfu, parents

Rachel spotted this on a frat house fridge in Champaign, Illinois, adding: “Said fridge was indeed revolting.”

Meanwhile, Helen swiped this from an equally revolting frat house in Vancouver. Adds Helen: “The reason why it is so ripped up is because a frat boy saw me steal the note and we fought for it for a while.”

related: how hazing rituals are born

Writes Devra in San Luis Obispo, California:  “I’m visiting my parents in Napa, where they both work at wineries. They recently found out that I smoke cigarettes, and though I’m sure they disapprove, there has been little to no discussion on the matter. My mom wanted me to go with her to a tasting today, so she printed out directions from Google Maps with this note written on it. I found it waiting on my bedside table when I woke up.”

related: And pull up your pants!

Spotted by Ressa’s brother during his travels through America…

(This is one of those where the passive-aggressive part isn’t the note itself.)

related: passive-allergic

extra credit: stuffonmycat.com

Evan in San Diego spotted this bilingual warning in a local thrift store. “I particularly enjoy the vaguely racist implication of the Spanish translation,” Evan adds. “It’s the only sign in the store (among dozens) that’s en espanol.”

related: When nature calls