Erin in Minneapolis found this note attached to a door in an apartment building of her then-boyfriend. (Whether or not this act of fate would later precipitate her own breakup remains unclear.)
Oh, and Mary? Paper is traditionally given as a gift for the first anniversary. Perhaps a note written on an empty soda can would have been more appropriate for your tenth?
related: desperately seeking closure
109 responses so far ↓
#1
Sarcastraphe
Really?! After 10 years she has to put her title before her name? Is he Catholic and she didn’t want him confused about who he left stranded?
Jun 2, 2009 at 9:14 pm rating: 26
#2
Sheila
argh – i’m having flashbacks – i had an ex like that, who would mess up arrangements, and leave me to walk home. I’m surprised she didn’t etch her note with a flamethrower on the front door. I only lasted 7 yrs, the poor woman’s done 10… double-argh.
Jun 2, 2009 at 9:16 pm rating: 14
#3
bcteagirl
A man might forget a wedding anniversary.. but they are more likely to remember a fucking anniversary. Poor Mary, not that memorable I guess!
Jun 2, 2009 at 9:23 pm rating: 41
#4
eden
Poor guy must have terrible amnesia, she not only has to remind him where she was, what ‘special’ day it is but that he’s also married. Or maybe thats his excuse to her for the girlfriends he keeps bringing home.
Jun 2, 2009 at 9:31 pm rating: 5
#5
amy d
It could have been worse. She could have said nothing and then cut his brake line while he slept contentedly.
Jun 2, 2009 at 9:33 pm rating: 36
#6
Beanster
he’s just not that into you, and hasn’t been for ten years.
Jun 2, 2009 at 9:33 pm rating: 24
#7
Canthz_B
I bet she’ll think twice before she has another “headache”.
Jun 2, 2009 at 9:45 pm rating: 2
#8
DearJane
I know the woman was under relationship distress, which is why we should forgive her for her use of ‘alot’. I might misuse the english language in many bad ways if my husband spaced on picking me up. And on my anniversary? Im not a person that expects expensive gifts or anything, but all he was expected to do was pick her up? and he couldn’t do that? wow…
Jun 2, 2009 at 9:49 pm rating: 6
#9
Canthz_B
So, phone service if still iffy in Minneapolis?
Jun 2, 2009 at 9:55 pm rating: 11
#10
bcteagirl
Obviously he loves the woman… just look at the risks he is willing to take just to get her to exercise a little for cripes sake!
Jun 2, 2009 at 9:58 pm rating: 12
#11
G
I wonder if the note was left outside…because the locks were changed.
Jun 2, 2009 at 10:02 pm rating: 23
#12
eden
Restraining orders, weren’t they just his way of playing hard to get. I thought that was what all love letters looked like, he even had the police deliver them…thats when you know its true love.
Jun 2, 2009 at 10:24 pm rating: 9
#13
fluffy8u
The only thing that would make this note better is if the husband’s name was Earl, they lived in the South, and the wife baked pies.
Mmm…. pies….
Jun 2, 2009 at 10:26 pm rating: 2
#14
fluffy8u
Husband’s name is “Marion Sr.” By the power of deducing, this should mean there is a “Marion Jr.” Is Marion Jr. boyfriend to Erin?
Thank goodness you dropped him. You were staring into your future!
Jun 2, 2009 at 10:31 pm rating: 5
#15
Neeners
The note must have been for the benefit of the girlfriend she knew would be reading it. In other words, ‘I bet you didn’t know he was married, have a nice day’. I’m sure Mary must have known her spouse could care less.
I think after 10 years of marriage he should get her her own damn car so she isn’t stranded. Better yet dump him and buy a car with the divorce settlement Mary.
Remember that crazed lady who ran her cheating husband over in the parking lot serveral times and said it was an accident?
http://www.click2houston.com/news/1576669/detail.html
Mary could do that (one “thud” for each year)! Not that I’m condoning it or anything.
Jun 2, 2009 at 10:39 pm rating: 15
#16
ClearlyDemented
What we don’t know is that Mary works approximately 200 feet from her home at the local liquor store. Like most liquor store cashiers, she drinks all night at work . She got off at 3:00 a.m.; Marion was there, but when he called to her, she told him to fuck off. Not wanting to make another scene in the parking lot, he drove home and waited for her. Meanwhile, Mary was so bombed she circled the streets all morning. When she finally sobered up enough around noon to make it home, she had forgotten all about the incident in the parking lot. She wound up passing out on the front porch after a fruitless search for her house keys, which were, of course, stuck in a neighbor’s front door. When Marion arrived home after work that day, he found her in a puddle of her own vomit. I’m too much of a lady to tell you all the gory details, but let’s just say vermin were involved and Marion spent most of his anniversary on his hands and knees…scrubbing.
Happy fucking anniversary indeed!
Jun 2, 2009 at 10:57 pm rating: 16
#17
Resident Grammarian esq
She is so ungrateful. He got her a gym membership for their anniversary, and gave her an early walking session. It’s her fault for not checking her messages.
Jun 2, 2009 at 11:03 pm rating: 1
#18
Woman on the Verge
In true Men Are From Mars tradition, Marion glanced at the note and this is what he read:
Darling Marion,
Thank you so much for the sweet surprise of fresh air and sunshine after work. What a lovely walk I had! Come on inside for some Happy Anniversary fucking!
Your adoring wife,
Mary
That’s why she had to kill him. I’m pretty sure the note is in the evidence room right now.
Jun 3, 2009 at 6:44 am rating: 13
#19
thrall38
This note harks back to the long tradition of being so pissed that one would rather suffer extra (why not call a cab, a friend, a co-worker for the ride) so that one can dispense extra suffering on the other end. Not that I’ve ever indulged in such forms of (self)punishment…
Jun 3, 2009 at 7:04 am rating: 9
#20
claw71
Mormons. Mary clearly felt the need to specifiy which wife she is.
Jun 3, 2009 at 8:56 am rating: 3
#21
Mishee™
Mary seems to have quite a hold on her temper.
I know if that was me, my husband wouldn’t get a chance to read the note as he would be bound and gagged and stuffed in the trunk of my car.
I guess that would probably happen on our ten year anyways… what better way to celebrate a decade together than to recreate the day we were married?
Jun 3, 2009 at 9:26 am rating: 9
#22
you suck at craigslist
Notice the note is dated and timestamped at noon. Perhaps Mary had to walk all night to get home from work?
Jun 3, 2009 at 9:44 am rating: 1
#23
misstrawberrie
Ok, so Erin found this note on the door of her “then boyfriend”, but the note is from his wife? Hmmmmm, was Marion out with Erin and forgot to pick up Mary?
Jun 3, 2009 at 9:58 am rating: 2
#24
Firefly
I think it’s just wonderful that she felt the need to place (although skewering it on that metal grill would have been more apt) this note on the OUTSIDE of the door, because clearly all of her neighbours (and their visiting girlfriends) needed to know about what hardship she is enduring in this terrible, terrible marriage.
Also, is that a date in the top right-hand corner? Were there other fucking anniversaries where he pulled the same stunt? Are we going to see this progress over the remainder of their marriage, as every year she leaves another of these notes on their front door, lovingly dating each one in her version of tally marks etched on the wall of a prison cell?
True love is definitely not dead.
Edited to add: Oops, just noticed that You suck at craigslist already pointed out the date thing… damn. I thought I had read all the other comments before I posted…sorry!
Jun 3, 2009 at 10:03 am rating: 2
#25
QuarterRoy00
That’s a deal breaker ladies!
That’s right, I busted it out again…
Jun 3, 2009 at 10:08 am rating: 4
#26
claw71
Mary:
Screwing your boss at the Motel 6 by the airport is not technically work. Next time have him drop you off.
Your Husband
Marion Marvin Sr.
Jun 3, 2009 at 10:58 am rating: 12
#27
oi
stunning!
Jun 3, 2009 at 11:42 am rating: 0
#28
oi
why did not she go on one the one of the radio shows like love trap? where, you know, host exposes cheating spouse/lover on the live radio and drama ensues, full of curse words and juicy details. I bet claw can depict a scene for us.
Jun 3, 2009 at 12:05 pm rating: 1
#29
rod johnson
your wife (for the time being)
mary
Jun 3, 2009 at 12:17 pm rating: 1
#30
aaa
Who wants to take bets on whether Erin was aware of Mary’s existence?
Jun 3, 2009 at 12:17 pm rating: 4
#31
HorribleLicensePlates
These are the best. Heh heh.
Jun 3, 2009 at 1:32 pm rating: 1
#32
TheOldSchool
Marion,
Take the advice of British pop star, Robbie Williams:
“Life’s too short to take the blame — take a pill and numb the pain.”
Jun 3, 2009 at 2:41 pm rating: 3
#33
claw71
What else would you be? All apologies
10 years now you say? I wish that I was gay
You had to walk last night? Great you win the fight.
What else would it be? All apologies.
It’s no fun. It’s no fun, you’re like a nun
It’s no fun, It’s no fun
MARY! (legs are) HAIRY!
I wish I was like you, coworkers you screw
kisses taste like salt, because you sucked off Walt
I’ll take all the blame, event hough your note is lame
Sunburn, road rash burn. Walking off her ass from the cannery.
It’s no fun
It’s no fun, you fucking hun.
It’s no fun
MARY
MARY
MARY (pits are) HAIRY
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
You could have used the walk you fatass whore
take a awalk you fat ass whore
Let’s get divorced you fatass whore
Jun 3, 2009 at 3:08 pm rating: 2
#34
Feelin' The Pain
I am telling you. I’ve got a theory about men from Minnesota: They like to be in long term relationships (maybe it is the cold weather or something), but they are so difficult to deal with (pride, stubborn, feeling of always being right, stingy, etc… to name a few). I think Mary understands this one.
Jun 3, 2009 at 6:43 pm rating: 0
#35
Quite Contrary
And one wonders where I came up with the moniker “Quite Contrary.”
Jun 3, 2009 at 7:10 pm rating: 0
#36
Smiler
Oops.
Jun 3, 2009 at 7:29 pm rating: 0
#37
Spike Nesmith
somehow I doubt there has been much “happy fucking” in this relationship for.. oohhh… at least nine years and eleven months.
Jun 3, 2009 at 8:31 pm rating: 0
#38
Canthz_B
Mary’s still in good shape. Not every woman her age can walk all the way home from her job at WJM-TV.
Jun 3, 2009 at 8:36 pm rating: 2
#39
rumble_fish
Anni Versary is not a common name. Finding 10 of them in Minneapolis to fuck, that’s a feat to be commended.
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:16 pm rating: 0
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