Another unexpected consequence of global warming

June 5th, 2009 · 241 comments

Writes Mike in Seattle: “I work in a large in-house call center for a giant of the aerospace industry. My office has 50 to 75 technical support folks, many of whom can be somewhat…less than hygienic. Following a rash of uncharacteristically hot days, this note showed up in the mens’ room, accompanied by a bottle of Axe.”

Complimentary Body Spray

related: There are only ten types of people in the world…those who remember to bathe regularly, an those who don’t

FILED UNDER: hygiene · odor · office · Seattle


241 responses so far ↓

  • #1   eve

    i love the smell of nerds!

    Jun 5, 2009 at 9:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   park rose bang

      in the morning.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 9:50 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Rachet

      smells like…victory.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 9:51 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   park rose bang

      napalm, axe, what’s the difference?

      Jun 5, 2009 at 9:59 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Bunnee

      Rose, you’re on fire this morning! ;)

      Jun 5, 2009 at 10:03 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   park rose bang

      That must be why I have to graft one comment to the next, Bunnee.

      I certainly hope that my comments do not ignite any comebacks (stay away TOS ;) ) that might have me fleeing naked through the thread, screaming in agony. I have no wish to become the 2009 poster girl for any injustice incurred in the ever escalating Greater PAN Conflict.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 10:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   GhostWriter bang

      “napalm, axe, what’s the difference?”

      One is a vile volatile fluid that burns like Hell when you lay it down heavy on innocent people, in a misguided attempt to wipe out your rivals and feed your lust for power…

      …and the other one is a mixture of Ivory Soap and gasoline.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 2:43 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   park rose

      Comeback ignited, whichever way you look at it.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 3:13 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Rachet

    It wasn’t bad until the Top Gun picture and quote were added.

    Then again, most body sprays smell terrible. They seem to make the B.O. smell even worse. I’d rather just ask the person to please go away from my office/cubicle/desk/etc. Or I’d immediately grab my phone and act like I’m super busy if they start towards my work area. (And pray the phone doesn’t actually ring while doing all this feigning-a-phone-call.)

    Jun 5, 2009 at 9:50 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   zombieBlanco bang

      I’d rather work next to Jamal after the great poo leap than someone wearing Axe.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 12:20 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   R.M.

      Mabye, you could say your alergic to axe. That way they have to leave or take a shower. That is true PAN.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 12:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   zombieBlanco bang

      True PAN? Mabye you can’t handle the true PAN!

      Jun 5, 2009 at 1:29 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   park rose

      Said the matron to the training nurse, much to the distress of the bedridden patient.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 4:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   CS harmonikah

    It’s a nice effort but i don’t think it’s a good idea.I went to an art school and the halls were flooded with the smell of unwashed hippie covered in body spray. The combination of smells was horrible. It still haunts my dreams.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 9:57 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Nerdy desk clerks who seldom take the whole bathing experience, have ruined the Axe experience for me…I still gag and try not to breathe,

      Jun 5, 2009 at 11:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   leftfoot

      seriously, nothing is worse that hippie body odor and patchouli mixed with the smell of 2 year old birkenstocks.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 10:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Joe bang

    I would have thought complimentary body spray would be more positive, not tell the user that he stinks. But maybe I’ve heard one too many (i.e., one) beer nuts jokes.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 9:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   park rose bang

    Due to recent climate changes due to offering body sprays to anyone to use due to the workplace being odoriferously unpleasant due to climate changes, please use this axe if you would like to work towards a long term solution to the problem of climate change due to offering body sprays…

    Jun 5, 2009 at 9:58 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   ClickClack bang

      Overdue!

      Jun 5, 2009 at 4:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   park rose

      Under durex duress.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 7:25 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   ClickClack bang

      “I knew you were under duress…
      I knew you under your dress.”
      - Don Van Vliet, “My Human Gets Me Blues” from Trout Mask Replica

      Jun 5, 2009 at 7:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Bunnee

    Thanks for your cooperation in making this a pleasant work place for everyone by smelling like a fourteen year old.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 9:59 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Sarcastraphe bang

      Mmmmm randy 14 year olds- the ambiance that every workplace is looking for.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 10:59 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Andy

      Axe has a “sperm-caked boxers” scent now?

      Jun 5, 2009 at 12:47 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Mark bang

      14 year olds probably still wear tighty whities. But those would also be sperm-caked.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 12:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Well they match his sheets. They would be grey…*shudder*

      Jun 5, 2009 at 1:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   fluffy8u

      Andy, is that what Axe has always smelled like?

      Jun 5, 2009 at 6:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   Sarcastraphe bang

      Mamarilla… you made me laugh at the idea of the two of us descending on a 14 year olds bedroom with a black light and a video camera

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Bunnee

    Why do I picture someone who looks like comic book dude from the Simpsons standing in a bathroom, looking at a can of body spray with scorn?

    “Worst. Smell. Ever. “

    Jun 5, 2009 at 10:02 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   TheOldSchool

      That Simpsons comic book seller really gets under the skin of real life comic book sellers.

      They say he sucks the joy and spontaneity out of living. I think that’s a bit harsh. Do they have any research to back their claims? Of course not.

      They’re LIARS! Every last one of them!

      Jun 5, 2009 at 4:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   CS harmonikah

    I can’t help but imagine this in the form of a “Nick Burns, Your company’s Computer Guy” skit.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 10:03 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Josh

    You can’t cover up BO with body spray, deodorant, etc. It then just smells like a combination of BO and body spray, which is worse than BO itself.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 10:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Sarcastraphe bang

      This sounds like the sweet, sweet voice of experience?

      Jun 5, 2009 at 10:56 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   N/A

      I’ll second that. My granny used to spray that stuff heavily around the bathroom to cover up the fact that she had bodily functions. It constantly stunk of floral poop.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   fluffy8u

      You know what I find works against the battle of BO? A shower. And then the application of deodorant.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 7:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   Sarcastraphe bang

      The hell you say? Fluffy you are talking nonsense!

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   vivitop

      My mother used that apple-sented thing in the bathroom… smell like someone took a dump behind an apple tree

      Jun 6, 2009 at 10:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   park rose

      Be careful vivitop, you better warn your mother, or maybe she is just protecting you –

      A serpent used that apple-sented thing to tempt Eve and she shared it with Adam, and they had to put their clothes on and got kicked out of Paradise. Childbirth, which had been a breeze before then, became a time of torture and agony, and original sin was born.

      That’s not just an apple tree, that’s the tree of knowledge, and knowledge covers all bases; the sweet-smelling, and the gag-inducing. It’s not surprisng that it’s found in your bathroom. I’d recommend not taking a bite out of any air-freshener trees that your mother has placed there. I don’t think the world is ready for the Apocalypse just yet.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 2:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   park rose bang

    Mike works in a large sin-house call center.

    I am offering a body.
    Spray available to the public for anyone interested, in case they forgot to shower (you better be clean).
    Thanks for your cooperation in helping me make this a pleasant work place for everyone!

    Jun 5, 2009 at 10:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Bunnee

      “Giant of the aerospace industry” in Seattle = Boeing

      The first 2 letters of Boeing = BO

      Coincidence? I think not.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 10:13 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   ClickClack bang

      “Thank you for calling the Sin House. Your call is very important to us….”

      Jun 5, 2009 at 4:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   park rose

      “For call-girl with b.o., press one.
      *For call-girl swathed in axe, press two.
      *For call-girl who gets off on your b.o., press three.
      *For call-girl who will swathe you in axe while measuring you with a slide rule, press four.
      *For all s & m call-girls, press zero and hold.
      *For those interested in the blues, you’ve slipped a vowel.”

      Jun 5, 2009 at 7:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Canthz_B bang

      Of course it is Boeing, that was as transparent as the plane they built for Wonder Woman! :lol:

      Jun 7, 2009 at 3:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Joe bang

    Charlie: You were in a 4 hour status meeting with a non-hygiene?
    Maverick: Yes ma’am.
    Charlie: At what range?
    Maverick: Um, about 2 meters.
    Goose: It was actually about 1 and a half I think. It was 1 and a half, I’ve got a great Polaroid of it, and the stink lines are right there, must be 1 and a half.
    Maverick: Was a nice picture.
    Goose: Thanks.
    Charlie: Eh lieutenant, what were you doing there?
    Goose: Communicating.
    Maverick: Communicating. Keeping up intra-office relations. You know, giving him the Axe!

    Jun 5, 2009 at 10:12 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   park rose bang

      I think they really should have chosen Beaker and Dr. Honeydew to represent them rather than characters from Top Gun.
      From a muppet website:

      Description: Neurotic lab assistant/subject. Beaker has a tall and thin head, with bulging eyes, a slash of a mouth, and a shock of red hair on top. Wears a white lab coat. Dr. Honeydew’s experiments always result in Beaker getting hurt badly [and have the nasty side effect of producing bucketloads of fear-induced sweat]. Voice sounds like a cross between an Ewok and a bad 60′s Sci-Fi movie computer.
      Quotes: Mee-mee-mee-mee! Hoooo! Hoooo! Hoooo!!

      Jun 5, 2009 at 11:06 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   MagPie

      One thing about engineers/tech guys working in the private sector here in WA is a good portion of them are ex-Navy. (There are 3 Navy bases within 50 miles of Seattle) Where I work Top Gun references/movie lines are prolific. I think its the only way they can process what’s being communicated to them.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 12:51 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Bernd das Brot bang

    Due to a recent wave of diet changes, I am offering an air freshener available to the public, in case they use the microwave to heat up their home-made food. Please use generously. Thanks for your cooperation.
    Slider, that food smell makes me nauseous!

    Jun 5, 2009 at 10:13 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   kt

      i feel your pain. curry and onions in the morning mmmm.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 10:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   park rose bang

      last night’s chili sure can wreak havoc in the morning. i feel your strain.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 11:11 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Woman on the Verge bang

    And the response?

    Due to recent climate changes, I am offering free noseplugs available to the public if anyone is interested in case they forget to breathe through their mouths. If you continue to complain, I will also provide a gag which should solve both of our problems.

    love,
    Slider

    Jun 5, 2009 at 10:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   park rose bang

      Don’t you mean,
      love,
      the gimp?

      Jun 5, 2009 at 10:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Mark bang

      The gimp’s sleepin’.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 10:46 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Sarcastraphe bang

      Zed’s dead baby.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 10:55 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   much to my chagrin bang

      Well I guess you’re just gonna have to wake him up then! Ahhh, rape.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 11:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   ClickClack bang

      You’re gonna love my ball gags.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 4:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Sarcastraphe bang

    In a situation like this I am trying to think of alternatives to the passive aggressive note. I am not coming up with much. Maybe a squirt gun full of body spray and/or Febreeze?

    Maybe a huge mounted fan on the bill of your hat blowing air away from you.

    Probably your best bet is to constantly be chewing gum and get that circular air thing going, where you breathe out through your mouth and in through your nose, like morticians do?

    Jun 5, 2009 at 10:33 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   N/A

      Balaclavas and Axe spray combined with a stealth attack works wonders. Some of the guys in my year did that to our stinky HS janitors on the last day of school.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 11:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   park rose bang

      And I guess they stank because they were cleaning up after your shit. Same as it ever was.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 11:14 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   ClickClack bang

      Mmmm…. fresh balaclava, dripping with honey and crushed pistachio nuts….. :razz:

      Jun 5, 2009 at 4:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   park rose

      I’m going to feed off you, ClickClack. I guess the above might go someway towards explaining why. How about this one:

      Mmmm…sweet balaclava, three-stringed, triangle shaped harmony.

      As an aside, the Battle of Balaclava is also known as the Charge of the Light Brigade. It involved High School boys, Janitors, and the local fire brigade who were operating on a skeleton staff, due to it being a public holiday. A suburb in Melbourne was named after this brave, bloody and valorous day.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 7:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   mamason bang

      It’s all Greek to me.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 7:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   Sarcastraphe bang

      Gyro in big trouble for that pun mamason

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.7   park rose bang

      It’s a huge crime an all.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   aaa

    The Axe stench is way more offensive than any ass-laden body odor a human can produce. There is no nerd stench that can match the power of sweaty, stupid, teenage boys.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 10:44 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Sarcastraphe bang

      Hmmmm I find this spurious :)
      I am betting that 4 out of 5 escorts at the Mustang Ranch would much rather be ridden by someone who reeks of Axe (as nasty as that is) to some rank ass, tangy BO buddy.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 10:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Only if the pimply faced idiot had enough money on him…We have the right to make them bathe as well..Or they can pay for a ‘fun’ shower…And if he is too rank and filthy, he can go somewhere else.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 11:56 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   NewMoon

      Hey, smells like teen spirit.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 12:54 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   ClickClack bang

      “Here we are, now disinfect us! ♫
      ♪ Fumigate us, then
      reject us!”

      Jun 5, 2009 at 4:48 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   aaa

    On the related note of nerd stench, try being inundated with dissected shark stench. Having that oily, fishy, plastic-death aroma cling to you for hours afterwards is just awesome. :D

    Jun 5, 2009 at 10:45 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   CS harmonikah

      Sounds like my idea of a fun Thursday night.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 12:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   claw71 bang

    Sorry, but I’m more of a Bod Man.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 11:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   ClickClack bang

      Do you prefer Christian Bale over Michael Keaton?

      Jun 5, 2009 at 4:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   GhostWriter bang

    Yeah, I asked for the “complimentary body spray.” I won’t fall for that again.

    Some huge gorilla started spraying me down with a firehose- it’s a Madhouse; A MADHOUSE!!”

    …then they put it on YouTube.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 11:21 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   KatieMB

      “Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty… nerd.”

      Jun 5, 2009 at 11:44 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   shoegirl

    Every morning I come to work, I have a really nice air freshener which I spray around a 6 foot vicinity of the colleague who pollutes the atmosphere. If it goes on, having complained to him 5 times, and colelagues to HR/management at least as many, I’ll just move desk.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 11:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Sarcastraphe bang

      so this guy has a pretty brutal carbon footprint?

      Jun 5, 2009 at 11:44 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   claw71 bang

      Coworkers try that with me, but I breach the perimeter and fart in their vector. I do it in stealth mode: slowly and quietly easing my way within striking distance, shifting my weight to the left and closing my right foot to subtly spread my cheeks. Then, ever so carefully, I slowly release the gas. A combination of India Pale Ale, sauteed mustard greens, black beans and polish sausage meticulously processed by the intestinal bacteria that live in my bowel wafts over her workstation as I quickly vacate the area.

      I often go to work sans underpants in oder to minimize resistance and filtration. Go ahead and spray, I’ll get you anyway.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 11:45 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   aaa

      So claw, I take it you’re also experienced in the art of Battle Asses?

      Jun 5, 2009 at 3:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   claw71 bang

    More then the can of Axe, the decision to feature a Top Gun reference really works against the author of this note. I’m not going to lie: I thought Top Gun was pretty fucking awesome the first time I saw it, back in 1986. Then I watched it again and realized, even at the age of 15, that the plot was thin, the acting was overwrought and the sweaty beach volleyball scene was overtly homoerotic. Also, Kelly McGillis? Not nearly hot enough to warrant suffering through the love scenes. The best part of the whole movie? Anthony Edwards dies. Too bad Meg Ryan didn’t go with him.

    I’m guilty of deriving initial enjoyment from lots of things I later realized were totally lame. Vanilla Ice, for example. Ice Ice baby was the jam until I actually took notice of the lyrics and realized what putz Robbie Van Winnkle was. I never bought the album.

    We’re more than 20 years removed from when Top Gun came out. It’s one of those 80s things that makes people from the 80s look really stupid, like leg warmers and white people wearing those Africa pendants. Top Gun was so bad that I actually liked it when Anthony Edwards died on ER. Scientology and placenta eating are only half the reason I loathe Tom Cruise. Top Gun is the other half.

    We all know this. Those of us from the 80s accept the fact that we were lame, if only for a fleeting moment. But this Axe-toting nimrod thinks enough of Top Gun to cite a scene and a quote on his note. I had completely forgotten that scene, and almost forgotten that I had ever watched Top Gun, then this asshole had to come along and dredge up all those memories.

    Team BO all the way!

    Jun 5, 2009 at 11:37 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   park rose bang

      I just think it’s that the guy with the slide rule is the one who really stinks. This is his coworker’s way of being complimentary and subtle.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 11:51 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   NewMoon

      The slide and dance in the white underpants has likewise lost all of its initial appeal. Not that there was much to start with.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 12:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      *sigh* I do love to read your posts, claw. Is that Old Spice you’re wearing?

      Jun 5, 2009 at 4:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Jall-apeno

    Well, after waiting for ‘my mojo to load’, I found that Axe body sprays will induce rampant babe stampedes, libido hysteria, and stimulate the clothing-removal section of the female brain – who knew? As a bonus, the handy-dandy shape of the bottle will comfortably fit in my hand just like certain female body parts. Awesome. Which of those effects wouldn’t fire up a techno-geek?

    Alternatively, there was a mention of ‘recent climate change’ so said note writer could simply be a believer of anthropogenic global warming and is attempting to lure his co-workers out of energy consuming hot showers and back to the much more comfortable medieval period when body odors were covered up with perfumes.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 11:53 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Neeners

      No one ‘forgets’ to shower, it’s a conscious choice.

      According to Fat Bastard, everyone likes their own ‘brand’.

      Maybe they want to share it with the whole office. Or it was innocent and they don’t realize the stank is ungodly, the smell of their own filth has burned out the sinus cavity.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 12:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Mishee™ bang

    Just one more reason am I glad as ever that I am no longer a resident of the Pacific Northwest!!

    Jun 5, 2009 at 12:02 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Well excuuuuse me!

      The feeling is mutual, cow.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 2:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   NewMoon

      Didn’t you mean “mootual?”

      Jun 5, 2009 at 2:48 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   aaa

      Honoes, yet another human who fails to realize that you’re not supposed to take anything seriously on PAN and makes an ass out of themselves by giving a shit! Gasp!

      Jun 5, 2009 at 3:57 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Perhaps they should mooove over and let it go by.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 4:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   ClickClack bang

      Not to worry, he took a shot at Mishee, but only grazed her.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 4:55 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.6   TheOldSchool

      For how much longer can one comment continue to be milked?

      Jun 5, 2009 at 6:12 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.7   anglophile bang

      Aw, TOS beat me to it.

      That’s bullshit.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 6:21 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.8   mamason bang

      What a nin-cow-poop. :-?

      Jun 5, 2009 at 6:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.9   mamason bang

      That was udderly ridiculous.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 6:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.10   KatieMB

      “…how much longer can one comment continue to be milked?”

      Til the jokes run sour.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 6:56 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.11   Bunnee

      It would be-hoof all of you to stop this right now!

      Jun 5, 2009 at 7:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.12   mamason bang

      You might be able to per-suede me.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 7:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.13   park rose

      22.1 is just a tosser, ignore him, you know, one of those masticators. He’s probably already cross-eyed and half-blind.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 7:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.14   Sirius¤ bang

      Hmmmmm, I’ll chew on that for a while.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.15   anglophile bang

      No need to be jerky.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.16   Snippy

      @22.13 – Then let’s not tip him.

      Meanwhile, we all race onward, hell-bent for leather!

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.17   aaa

      So, should I steer clear of this thread in the future?

      (Gralgh! I almost died from the punning! But it’s all for the good of PAN…)

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:07 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.18   Sirius¤ bang

      I’ve got no beef with you, anglophile — stop being so bossy.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.19   park rose bang

      Isn’t this thread knackered yet? And I’m hearing you, Sirius (star). Sometimes she’s like a bull in a china shop.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.20   anglophile bang

      It’s just that there’s a lot at steak here, Sirius. I want everyone to be happy, as cheesy as that may sound.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.21   Sirius¤ bang

      I herd ya, PR. Sitting on her derriere throwing out what heifer comes to mind.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:18 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.22   Sirius¤ bang

      Manure good at this!

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:19 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.23   TheOldSchool

      “I herd it through the B.O. vine, not much longer would we have swine…”

      (Don’t Axe — Don’t smell)

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:22 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.24   Sirius¤ bang

      Got that song stuck in my head. Marvin Gaye — now that cattle drive you crazy.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.25   Geek Goddess

      *Horns in to add a comment, and realizes that she has nothing to say*

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.26   anglophile bang

      What this thread needs is more cowbell.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 9:17 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.27   T to O bang

      hear ye hear ye! Dairy say anymore?

      Arrrrrgh! I better hide or you will all pelt me!

      Jun 5, 2009 at 9:25 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.28   Sirius¤ bang

      I cud take no more, so I’m off to Jersey. Bye, son.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 9:27 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.29   Canthz_B bang

      I’d just like to patty you all on your backs for this one!

      Jun 5, 2009 at 9:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.30   Canthz_B bang

      I guess I’ll go rustle up some dinner…unless there’s something Elsie we’ve missed here.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 10:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.31   aaa

      If I pass out from the punning, you’ll have to carry me out on a Guernsey. Although I suppose I don’t have much rumen to talk…

      Jun 5, 2009 at 11:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.32   TheOldSchool

      Ok. Now, please cud it out.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 12:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.33   Canthz_B bang

      I agree, this has become a bunch of tripe!

      Jun 6, 2009 at 12:52 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.34   Canthz_B bang

      I could stop now, or keep going.
      I’m trying to decide between the leather of two evils.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 1:02 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.35   Canthz_B bang

      Where does a cow go to improve her complexion?
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      A tanning salon!

      (if that doesn’t put you off your feed, nothing will!!)

      Jun 6, 2009 at 3:52 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.36   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Now that the stampede is over, can we lasso ourselves a new note, maybe wrangle up some better ideas?

      Jun 6, 2009 at 10:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.37   Canthz_B bang

      If Sirius is off to Jersey ↑, I’m going to shuffle off to Buffalo!

      Jun 6, 2009 at 12:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.38   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Are you going to have to wing it?

      Jun 6, 2009 at 1:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.39   Canthz_B bang

      Isn’t there a trail I can drive?

      Jun 6, 2009 at 1:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.40   MAMARILLA2 bang

      If you get there late you will be branded a loser.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 1:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.41   Canthz_B bang

      Even if I drive a Range Rover?

      Jun 6, 2009 at 2:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.42   Canthz_B bang

      This one is going the distance. Will we ever be cowed?
      As for me, I need to get off my rump…I’m getting a raw hide!

      Jun 6, 2009 at 2:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.43   TheOldSchool

      It isn’t just happening to you, CB. It’s true for the whole Stein family, as well.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 2:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.44   Canthz_B bang

      Angus because we can’t stop ourselves, the whole Stein family must suffer. :-(

      Jun 6, 2009 at 2:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.45   Canthz_B bang

      Kerry cattle us to stop, but she’s loathe to intervene.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 3:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.46   MAMARILLA2 bang

      So many have herd her pleas for bovine guidance.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 4:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.47   Canthz_B bang

      But far too many have been too bull-headed to take her wise advice.

      I suppose if I ditch the Range Rover and drive a Taurus instead I can make it to Buffalo on time, get better gas mileage and not be branded a loser.
      I do want to be there in time for the Bills/Redskins game…the Redskins will slaughter them!

      Jun 7, 2009 at 2:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.48   Canthz_B bang

      I can hardly believe this all started because a jackass called Mishee™ a cow.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 9:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.49   MAMARILLA2 bang

      That ought to teach him then, won’t it.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 11:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.50   Mishee™ bang

      Jeezy Creezy! All I wanted to do is bitch about Washington state and then I leave for the weekend and come back and find what came of it…

      I feel so special!

      I just wonder if the person who started it realizes that I don’t live in WI, so why would he call me a cow?

      Jun 7, 2009 at 2:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.51   MAMARILLA2 bang

      (see cheese thread)

      Jun 7, 2009 at 2:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.52   Canthz_B bang

      Don’t it feel great, Mish, when they make fun of you when you’re not even around?
      I revel in that kind of attention!

      Kind of makes us bigger than life characters when the troll patrol shows itself!

      Jun 7, 2009 at 3:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Eric bang

    We’re in the big leagues, getting our turn to bat, as long as we live, it’s you and me baby, there ain’t nothi…..

    Man, that’s the title font of The Jeffersons, man you really need help!

    Jun 5, 2009 at 1:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Sirius¤ bang

      Wow, I missed that one — time to put me out to pasture.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   TheOldSchool

    Surely, I’m not the only one to detect the subtle yet tart undertones of homoeroticism wafting mischievously throughout this message.

    Subsitute the AXE underarm deodorant for Astroglide, KY, or Liquid Silk.

    The only thing missing is a photo of Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer from Top Gun.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 4:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      Actually, TOS, you are the only one.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 4:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   ClickClack bang

      OMG, did you hear that? WotV said TOS is the only one for her!

      Jun 5, 2009 at 4:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   NewMoon

      Tom Cruise is to homoeroticism as Mel Gibson is to ritual mutilation as Val Kilmer is to…..

      Jun 5, 2009 at 5:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   Beanster bang

      russia?

      Jun 6, 2009 at 1:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.5   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Popcorn?

      Jun 6, 2009 at 1:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   TheOldSchool

    Click Clack,

    Welcome back.

    I won’t ask where you’ve been, because I assume that you were taking care of some highly embarrassing personal business.

    I can’t say I’m surprised by your report 24.2. The sexual tension has been building inside her for several months now. She’s done a fairly admirable job of keeping the door closed on the chaos that was taking place downstairs. (I can’t even begin to grasp how difficult that must have been.)

    Who ever said, “When it rains, it pours,” was kinda smart, but kinda stupid.

    Sometimes it pours, but sometimes it sprinkles. Sometimes it’s just a fine drizzle. And what about a gentle spring rain? Has this fucker ever been outside? Does he live in a bubble like that kid? Yeah, “when it rains, it pours,” except when it doesn’t.

    Anyway, if you see her later, tell her that I said, “Hey.”

    She’ll ask if that was all I said.

    Just nod and shrug.

    She’ll give you a baffled look.

    That’s when you “all of a sudden” remember this part.

    Tell her that I looked you straight in the eye and uttered the following: “Listen, Click Clack, if she thinks she’s going to swoop into my life and get me to take down the Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, or Christian Bale posters from my bedroom, she’d better THINK AGAIN.”

    (This all pertains to something I choose to call “the territorial imperative.” I have no idea what it means, but it sounds good, so I call it that.)

    Has the swelling gone down?

    Jun 5, 2009 at 6:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   park rose

      I hear the territorial imperative has to do with spraying. The problem (and stench) lessens when tom cats and others on the prowl get ‘fixed’.
      Hope the definition helps.
      Has the swelling gone down? ;)

      Jun 5, 2009 at 7:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   TheOldSchool

      I thought AXE was a roll-on.

      I need to get down the armpit aisle more.

      (It’s nuts. I can be such a dickhead. Maybe that’s why I’ve been so crotchety.)

      Jun 6, 2009 at 12:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   nurse mildred ratched

      I heard that knitting does much to quiet the troubled heart and mind. Some say it’s quite Zen. Does crotchet still the same turbulent waters? Don’t dilly doily with your response.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 10:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   TheOldSchool

      Nurse, sew true.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 11:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.5   TheOldSchool

      Why hem and haw about it?

      Jun 6, 2009 at 11:23 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.6   TheOldSchool

      Especially something that is tailor-made for a response.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 11:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.7   Canthz_B bang

      And a fitting response it was, TOS.
      No need for alterations!

      Jun 7, 2009 at 12:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.8   TheOldSchool

      CB,

      Thanks for not needling me about my comments on this thread.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 12:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.9   Canthz_B bang

      How could I? You weave them into this fabric so well.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 12:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.10   Canthz_B bang

      Time for a new note.
      We need some new material.
      I’m fit to be tie-dyed!

      Jun 7, 2009 at 12:32 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.11   TheOldSchool

      Darn it, CB! You’re the Singer singing the song.

      A new note might be just the thing to mend our worn-out duds. (I kinda doubt it, but I’ve gotta pin my hopes on something.)

      Jun 7, 2009 at 1:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.12   TheOldSchool

      I just wish we had something to break the pattern.

      Something to leave us in stitches.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 1:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.13   TheOldSchool

      If Grandpa were still alive, he’d tell us an old yarn.

      (If I’d known Grandma was going to use it to strangle him, I’d never have given her that purl necklace.)

      Jun 7, 2009 at 1:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.14   Canthz_B bang

      You win, TOS…I can’t spin an adequate response!

      Jun 7, 2009 at 2:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.15   park rose

      25.12. something to cushion the fall.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 6:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.16   anglophile bang

      I hate to say anything that would affect the way this close-knit group weaves their comments together, but cut out the punning already.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 8:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.17   Canthz_B bang

      Ladies and Gentlemen, this concludes our presentation of Punfest 2009. Please be sure to purchase tickets well in advance of Punfest 2010.
      Thank you for your attendance and participation in this year’s event.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 11:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.18   NewMoon

      Why call it quilts now?

      Jun 7, 2009 at 1:34 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.19   Canthz_B bang

      Because we can’t keep doing this afghan and afghan.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 1:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.20   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Come on , don’t be Chintz-y. You can Calico the distance.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 1:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   TTMS

    I might print out a copy of this and put it up at my work. Then take a photo of it and submit it here. How postmodern.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 6:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Beanster bang

      and self-refelxive

      Jun 6, 2009 at 1:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   anglophile bang

    Everyone in the office wondered what Wayne was up to, working all those extra hours after everyone else went home. Any time anyone approached his workspace, he would quickly slide a raft of papers covered in complicated formulas under his technical support manuals. Peculiar odors emanated from him. He was seen pushing a cart filled with lab glassware, bunsen burners and pipettes into a deserted storage closet. One day they heard a muffled explosion, and Wayne emerged with his eyebrows singed off. His co-workers began to tease him, calling him Dr. Honeydew and The Mad Scientist. But Wayne didn’t care, for he had finally done it. He had concocted the substance he had longed for ever since Monica Whitford had laughed at him when he asked her to dance at the seventh grade Sock Hop. The substance which would make him his fortune. When sprayed liberally on the male body, it not only imparted a manly, sexy odor, but it also bestowed confidence. For the cologne was created of a chemical which, when sprayed through a specialized nozzle, approximated a human voice. Each time he sprayed himself, Wayne took heart to hear his cologne saying “smelling good, tiger” and “who’s the babe magnet now?”

    Yes, Wayne had created complimentary body spray.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 6:40 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   yuck

    Honestly? Axe smells far, far worse than BO, and that takes some doing. The Axe effect is not that women will gleefully rip their clothing off and attack you in a wild frenzy of lust, but that they will gag and or/projectile vomit at your approach. I don’t think that either of these things will help improve the office atmosphere.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 7:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Sarcastraphe bang

      As a girl let me tell you this… I think that Axe is a company owned by women in order to let other women know what men are not worth their time.

      Yep, Axe and hair gel, two of science’s gifts to help us spot dumbasses from a distance.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 8:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   Neeners

      Axe and similar body sprays are put out by Raid or Black Flag. They both have that heavy cloud that chokes you and gets stuck in your throat. I know it works because I once killed a spider in the bathtub with it. Poor thing! I hate spiders.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 12:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Bunnee

      Sarcastraphe, the company may be owned by women, but the advertising agency they use sure isn’t. No woman in her right mind would use the slogan “double pits to chesty”. :?

      Jun 7, 2009 at 2:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   fluffy8u

    You know, I could picture that guy who runs the local dungeon club posting this sign. Some of those girls. Whew.

    Jun 5, 2009 at 7:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   TheOldSchool

    Am I the only one here who often has erotic dreams involving German Chancellor Angela Merkel?

    Jun 5, 2009 at 7:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   mamason bang

      No.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 7:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Canthz_B bang

      TOS is really GWB?! 8-O

      Jun 5, 2009 at 9:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   Sirius¤ bang

      Now that’s an unfair comparison; one of those guys gave Laura Bush the hard one every night — turned her from a girl to a woman.

      And the other one was President for 8 years.

      Jun 5, 2009 at 10:06 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   TheOldSchool

      One is a complete idiot.

      The other is an incomplete idiot.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 2:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Canthz_B bang

    Axe has a vile scent, but what would you expect from a French body spray?
    What? You thought they smelled that way naturally?

    Jun 5, 2009 at 10:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   aaa

      Turns out that the evil company who unveiled Axe in France is the British/Dutch company Unilever. International conspiracy, much? Behold their empire of evil: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Unilever_brands

      Jun 6, 2009 at 12:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   park rose bang

      How can you pass it up, aaa? Or hint at it so delicately?

      The axes of Unilevil…

      Jun 6, 2009 at 12:11 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   aaa

      Because I missed it completely. XD ‘Sides, I usually try to avoid puns because I loathe them so. My shameful, out of character display in #22 was brought on by a bad foreign cheese trip… :c

      Jun 6, 2009 at 12:18 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   park rose bang

      Ah, ‘slide’ to the dark side. You’re very good at them. You know, just like cheese, there are varying degrees and digress of puniness.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 12:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.5   TheOldSchool

      I’m thinking of having a whinin’ puns party tomorrow night. We can hang out, shoot the bries.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 12:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.6   park rose bang

      Erma ‘n Thal can come, and Cam ‘n Bert. It should be goud, a?

      Jun 6, 2009 at 12:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.7   Canthz_B bang

      Axe was launched in France in 1983 by Unilever.“, (I can Wiki too).

      Yes, aaa, that may be so…but why do you think their marketing research team chose France for the launch of this disgusting scent?
      They didn’t launch it in Britain or The Netherlands.
      Hell, even the Belgians would have waffled over accepting it, but the French?! They toasted it!

      Jun 6, 2009 at 1:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.8   TheOldSchool

      Rose,

      You’re still tons of fun. Have Arty bring Fontina (yes, that Fontina, from ages ago) to the cottage and the party will be even grater.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 1:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.9   Canthz_B bang

      Word of the get-together has gotten out. I’m hearing a lot of cheddar about it.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 1:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.10   park rose

      Danish blue that we haven’t invited him, but once he gets off the turps and moulds himself into a more upright citizen he’ll be a more cultured individual; fitting for the type of holey hell raising that’s sure to ensue.

      There will be palaver paneer galore, and Uhg can bring her coltswold so long as she doesn’t forget her leicester; we wouldn’t want her to be pulled over and put in fettas for doing anything illegal.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 2:02 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.11   Sirius¤ bang

      Shut that bloody bouzouki up!

      Jun 6, 2009 at 11:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.12   TheOldSchool

      “Forget about it. This is Monterey, Jack.”

      Jun 6, 2009 at 10:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.13   Canthz_B bang

      Cheese parties are few and far between. They only happen once in a bleu moon.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 11:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.14   NewMoon

      Swiss y’all would curd it out. (I know, rennetiscent of “cud it out”, sorry.)

      Jun 7, 2009 at 1:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.15   Canthz_B bang

      You’re going out on a Limburger, NewMoon…no whey to stop this runaway train!

      Jun 7, 2009 at 1:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.16   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Manchego tell someone who won’t try to get your goat. It is the only whey.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 2:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.17   Canthz_B bang

      Now you’re just trying to drive me into a feta rage. :-|

      Jun 7, 2009 at 2:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.18   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I don’t mean to renet for you, Bucheron such a roll.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 2:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.19   NewMoon

      It’s too much fondue stop.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 2:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.20   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Queso, who’s next?

      Jun 7, 2009 at 3:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   agatha christie

    I once knew a guy who would often come into work unshowered (after some major bender the previous night) and douse himself in Axe. He called it the Mexican Shower.

    ::shrugs::

    Jun 6, 2009 at 11:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I’ll have you know that we Messicans are a clean people, what with all that river swimming and all. Plus the pools we clean (we use first to bathe) and when we are doing the yards and lawns,(the water hose makes a great shower) and in the dish room at the end of the night (those pot sinks are big enough for two)…

      Jun 6, 2009 at 12:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   agatha christie

      Mama, I have no doubt that Mexicans are a very clean people. But I guess Axe is there to make them smell all purty after illegally crossing the border, cleaning pools, gardening, and washing dishes.

      Jun 6, 2009 at 10:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   Canthz_B bang

      Why do they get all the fun jobs?

      Jun 6, 2009 at 10:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Because, the only sports we are good at is baseball,boxing, and wrestling.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 10:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.5   Canthz_B bang

      What about basketb-…never mind.

      My step-father, God rest his soul, used to joke that Mexicans were good boxers because they grew up fighting for the little food that was on the table!

      not that there’s anything wrong with that…builds character!

      Jun 7, 2009 at 11:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Flaboy2425

    I prefer body odor to Axe.

    Jun 6, 2009 at 11:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   TheOldSchool

    Fact: the cattle population of the planet is approximately 1 billion.

    Fact: A cow eats 40 pounds of food, and drinks the equivalent amount of a bathtub full of water each day.

    Fact: Of the 15 endangered species if slugs in the world, 14 of them are found in the United States.

    Fact: There are only two words that aren’t allowed on British TV: “motherfucker” and “cunt.” You can say “mother” and “fucker,” but not together.

    Question:What about “mumfucker,” “a mother I’d like to fuck,” “a fucker of mothers” or, the ever popular: “just an ordinary lad having his filthy way with his own mum?”

    Cunt? C’mon now guv, this is just bollacks, isn’y it?

    Jun 6, 2009 at 4:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   TheOldSchool

      Is this 35.1?

      Jun 6, 2009 at 11:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   Randal

    I find body odour strangely soothing and sexy.

    Jun 6, 2009 at 10:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   nurse mildred ratched

      Not really so strange, is it? If we’re human, we should sweat. Full on body odour is a bit full on (it’s all the bacteria in the sweat that actually make it smell), but a body unadorned can be a beautiful thing ;)

      Jun 6, 2009 at 10:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   Sarcastraphe bang

      Shouldn’t you be eating some humus ratched? :D

      Jun 6, 2009 at 11:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.3   Sarcastraphe bang

      If the u in odor indicates that you are European then just let me say, “Of course you do Randal, of course you do.”

      Jun 6, 2009 at 11:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.4   Canthz_B bang

      Nurse, sweat does not contain odor causing bacteria. Bacteria encounter sweat, and this causes odor.

      “Apocrine glands, on the other hand, secrete a fatty sweat directly into the tubule of the gland. When you’re under emotional stress, the wall of the tubule contracts and the sweat is pushed to the surface of your skin where bacteria begin breaking it down. Most often, it’s the bacterial breakdown of apocrine sweat that causes an odor.”

      — MayoClinic.com

      A clean body goes a long way in avoiding body odor…no matter how much one may perspire.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 12:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   Randal

    Canadian, actually.

    Jun 7, 2009 at 12:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Canthz_B bang

      Gigglebrax fail, actually.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 12:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   Randal

      Sorry, I don’t know what “gigglebrax” means; you’ll have to dumb it down for me. Not everyone is a part of the elitist clique that floods this site with post after post.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 1:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.3   Canthz_B bang

      Evidently, you don’t have to be in order to do what you just did. ;-)

      *why is it always outsiders who hate cliques?…oh, i get it!*

      Jun 7, 2009 at 2:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.4   Canthz_B bang

      You should Google the term “Gigglebrax”, Randal…it was spawned on this wonderful website (I think), just like the term “Fail by association©”.
      So you don’t have to be in any clique to know what it means, just a PAN visitor for a while.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 2:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.5   lownote

      Not in the clique but I can read and thus know what a “gigglebrax” is…in fact I knew what it was before I even knew I knew!

      Jun 7, 2009 at 4:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.6   park rose

      low notes are always welcome and prevalent in the clique. just ask clique claque. i doubt very much, lownote, that i woulda known gigglebrax if someone had not told me (in fact, like joseph, or was it the archangel gabriel? [my wiki skills are hopefully as good as the last person's] i was there at the time of its conception)…but, kudos to you. we need all sorts around here. keeps us real.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 6:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Canthz_B bang

    It’s really no Secret that they should Ban Axe.
    It won’t make you as Suave as Robert Mitchum by any Degree.
    There must be a better way to find the Right Guard against B.O. in this increasingly Arrid, Extra Dry world.

    Jun 7, 2009 at 12:51 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Bunnee

      Are you Sure?

      Jun 7, 2009 at 2:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   Canthz_B bang

      I’d bet my Arm & Hammer on it!

      Jun 7, 2009 at 2:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Keep your approach Soft and Dry. Try to remain unscented.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 3:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Reid

    …It’s COMPLEMENTARY when it comes with something and COMPLIMENTARY when it does well to you. This needs to be said!

    edit: Oh I’ve doubleposted. Please delete this one since it’s the one I did wrong.

    Jun 7, 2009 at 7:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Reid

    …It’s COMPLEMENTARY when it comes with something and COMPLIMENTARY when it speaks well of you. This needs to be said!

    Jun 7, 2009 at 7:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   anglophile bang

      …It’s COMPLIMENTARY when it is free, or “With Our Compliments”. It’s COMPLEMENTARY when it completes something or refers to colors opposite each other on the color wheel. This needs to be said!

      Jun 7, 2009 at 8:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   Wade bang

      My COMPLIMENTS on a COMPLEAT and COMPLEMENTARY COMPENDIUM.

      Jun 7, 2009 at 8:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.3   Canthz_B bang

      Complimentary: given free as a courtesy or favor .

      This needs to be said! I give you a useful website, Reid.

      http://www.m-w.com

      Jun 8, 2009 at 1:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.4   park rose

      Just axe, Reid, and I will speak well of you. That’s why it’s complimentary. As for the curtains in my room, well, they are a lighter shade of pale, so maybe they do complement my overall colour scheme, or possible detract from it.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 8:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Jinx

    Has a feeling this spray smells, and feels, like burning.

    Jun 8, 2009 at 2:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   BobTheSmeller

    Good lord, nothing smells worse than axe, even bad BO is better. If I have a choice of asphyxiating due to someones cologne versus inhaling body honor, I will choose body odor any day. Then again, this guyw as reasonably nice. Except, he should have left a bar of caffeine soap instead.

    Jul 8, 2009 at 10:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Memo to all employees (but primarily intended for one person in particular) | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Complimentary body spray for all employees! TweetShare0mail [...]

    Nov 18, 2010 at 3:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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