when targeted advertising goes terribly, horribly wrong

June 7th, 2009 · 186 comments

“a few days after changing my status to single,” writes meg in red deer, alberta, “facebook proves to be the creep i always knew it was.”

(jordon is the ex-boyfriend.)

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FILED UNDER: breakup · canada · facebook

186 responses so far ↓

#1 Mishee

I wonder how the targeted advertising knew that Meg didn’t dump her loser boyfriend instead of the other way around..

Probably the same way that the Google ads here on PAN know to provide links to the Sex Offender Locater and the Suicide Hotline…

Jun 7, 2009 at 2:32 pm rating: +31

reply to this comment
- #1.1 anglophile
  
  All the Google ads ever show me is cheap yarn, cat supplies and decorative hand towels.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 7:50 am rating: +19
- #1.2 park rose
  
  5 people have a crush on me in Utsunomiya.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 9:56 am rating: +8
- #1.3 Lindsey
  
  Appropriately enough, my ad for this page was how to contact the authorities if you suspect illegal drug yuse.
  
  Oct 22, 2009 at 6:19 pm rating: 0
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#2 Canthz_B

10 tricks to win back the guy you dumped sounds like a Cosmo article in the making.

Jun 7, 2009 at 2:41 pm rating: +9

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- #2.1 MAMARILLA2
  
  Yeahm I think it was right behind the article on how to tell what your IQ is by your bra size.
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 2:46 pm rating: +17
- #2.2 Canthz_B
  
  Hey! That one made sense!
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 3:11 pm rating: +2
- #2.3 mamason
  
  I have really big brains.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:13 am rating: +8
- #2.4 TheOldSchool
  
  I put my thinking cap on one leg at a time.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:15 am rating: +3
- #2.5 mamason
  
  So, your brains are in your pants?
  
  Then I’d like to get cerebral with you.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:05 am rating: +3
- #2.6 TheOldSchool
  
  You mean like sitting around thinking long and hard about whatever’s on my mind at the moment? I’m up for that.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:17 am rating: +8
- #2.7 MAMARILLA2
  
  TOS, have you ever had an idea fall short?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 10:31 am rating: +3
- #2.8 park rose
  
  You mean like sitting around thinking short and soft, unable to get a rise from anyone?? Not that I know what that means.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 11:20 am rating: +3
- #2.9 MAMARILLA2
  
  I was just wondering if he has ever had an unsatifying train of thought. You know , short, fast and over way too quickly.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 11:53 am rating: +6
- #2.10 park rose
  
  Oh, I get what you mean now, rilla. Does he ever express himself that way…going straight for the terminus, showing complete disregard, or perhaps ignorance, of all the stations lining the track?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 4:31 pm rating: +3
- #2.11 oi!
  
  I always know what TOS means. ALWAYS. don’t you dare doubt me!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 4:48 pm rating: +2
- #2.12 park rose
  
  oi! … I’m not sure what the above is in reference to, but please illuminate us, do On the other hand, I am notoriously slow on the ~~turnpike~~ uptake.
  
  Oh, and just call me Thomas.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:39 pm rating: +2
- #2.13 oi!
  
  I’ll show you mine if you show me yours, Thomas?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:59 pm rating: +2
- #2.14 park rose
  
  You’re making about as much sense to me now as TOS usually does. I can['t] see where you’re coming from.
  
  I wouldn’t want to stigmatise you, though, so I might leave my skepticism here.
  
  Is yours all kind of holey?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 6:46 pm rating: +2
- #2.15 oi
  
  That is called done by an example, my dear rose.
  I thought you seriously asked what my comment meant.
  Now I had done as much as I could to show that I was being sarcastic. so I decided to write something vague and hope for the best.
  No mine is unholy.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 7:21 pm rating: +2
- #2.16 J'a'c'k'n'J'i'l'l's
  
  terms and conditions apply?
  (for the mine)
  
  Jul 26, 2009 at 6:37 pm rating: 0
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#3 Bunnee

“Discover dirty psychological tricks to quickly and easily win your boyfriend back…” In other words, how to become a manipulative whore in 5 easy steps.

Jun 7, 2009 at 2:42 pm rating: +27

reply to this comment
- #3.1 Thanks!
  
  Finally! I never could get the whole crafty ho thing fully down…
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 5:39 pm rating: +9
- #3.2 Bunnee
  
  Well, first, you should start small–get a hot glue gun. And no true “crafty” should be without the standard assortment of sequins and beads. Stencils and small sponges are handy, too.
  
  The “ho” part? You’re on your own, there.
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 5:56 pm rating: +12
- #3.3 Woman on the Verge
  
  The “ho” part is all about placement of the sequins and beads… and I might skip the hot glue gun when applying.
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 8:08 pm rating: +18
- #3.4 Thanks!
  
  Hot glue + nipples = ouch!
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 11:30 pm rating: +1
- #3.5 Canthz_B
  
  Yes, but it hurts so good!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:06 am rating: +1
- #3.6 mamason
  
  Hot wax + nipples = ecstacy!
  
  *do not hit subm… doh! *
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:16 am rating: +2
- #3.7 you suck at craigslist
  
  It always takes me at least seven steps. I could use a shortcut, though.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:43 pm rating: +1
- #3.8 ClickClack
  
  @3.7 – OK, here’s a shortcut: Heat the wax first.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:45 pm rating: +4
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#4 Mishee™

Why would Meg want damaged goods anyways?

I say go find a new model and hope you don’t get another lemon!

Jun 7, 2009 at 2:46 pm rating: +11

reply to this comment
- #4.1 TheOldSchool
  
  Jordan’s IQ is 131. That’s lower than George W. Bush’s score.
  
  Megan, thank your lucky stars that Jordan’s someone else’s headache.
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 3:28 pm rating: +14
- #4.2 Tiffani Warren
  
  Er…130 = gifted.
  
  100 = average.
  
  The most reliable estimate I’ve seen of W’s score is 125, based on his SAT score (which was much harder when he took it, btw).
  
  Georgie Bush was inarticulate and morally bankrupt but, in the words of his mother, he was “dumb like a fox.”
  
  But anyway, those IQ ads are bs anyway. I was (clincally) tested at exactly 130, and it’s annoying to see some of my retarded friends scores as “156″ or whatever. :{
  
  …sorry this went off-topic
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 5:10 pm rating: +11
- #4.3 TheOldSchool
  
  Tiffani,
  
  I knew this intellectual scholar named Dr. O. N. John. She once said to me:
  
  Let’s get clinical, clinical
  I wanna get clinical
  Let’s get into clinical
  Let me hear your 130 IQ talk, your 130 IQ talk
  Let me hear your 130 IQ talk
  I wanna get physical
  Let’s get into physical
  Let me hear your body talk, your body talk
  Let me hear your body talk
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 8:52 pm rating: +10
- #4.4 fluffy8u
  
  No way! I also know her! And she said the same thing to me! What a small world! Did she try to get you into a unitard too?
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 10:33 pm rating: +6
- #4.5 TheOldSchool
  
  Fluffy,
  
  She called me a “unitard.” It sounded vaguely insulting the way she said it: “Get the fuck out of here now, you unitard!”
  
  I’d like to think that she was saying “my unit looked hard,” or, at worst, she was having a bad day.
  
  Sadly, none of us will ever know what she meant, because her bodyguards threw me out of her dressing room before I could get clarification.
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 11:59 pm rating: +8
- #4.6 fluffy8u
  
  Geez, TOS, that’s harsh. She also threw me out, but it was because I kept asking her to say “Tell me about it, stud.” Apparently, she doesn’t like that much.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:21 am rating: +3
- #4.7 TheOldSchool
  
  Well, maybe she had a bad experience with a carpenter. Or she was harboring resentment about Karen’s untimely death.
  
  I’m still slightly bitter, and I’m not a drummer, a singer, or even anorexic.
  
  We all deal with pop star deaths in our own ways. I just cried in my room for several years.
  
  (Don’t blame Richard. PLEASE.)
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:30 am rating: +2
- #4.8 mamason
  
  ♫ … just like me, they long to be, close to you ♥
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:33 am rating: +2
- #4.9 TheOldSchool
  
  Every Sha-la-la-la
  Every Wo-o-wo-o
  Still shines
  Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
  That they’re startin’ to sing’s
  So fine.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:49 am rating: +2
- #4.10 mamason
  
  And when the evening comes, we smile
  
  So much of life ahead
  
  We’ll find a place where there’s room to grow
  
  And yes, we’ve just begun
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:02 am rating: +1
- #4.11 claw71
  
  Tiffany was “clinically” tested at 130. I won’t bother adjusting that score down for exaggeration until I know what sort of clinic she was in. You know, you don’t want to piss off the criminally insane.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:05 pm rating: +8
- #4.12 clumber
  
  TOS and Mama – BAD! BAD POST!
  ~rubs your faces, separately, in it~
  
  I paid RB good money to upgrade to the “No gdamned earworms” level of PAN comments! Do NOT trifle with me. I WILL sic’ FreeCreditReport.com at you! Tell your friends, tell your dad, tell your mom!
  
  And furthermore… what? Well I’m kind of in the middle of a rant here… really? There are no premium levels? You don’t think RB would have scammed me… Oh. You do… huh. okay.
  
  Nevermind.
  
  (I still miss Gilda…)
  
  Jun 9, 2009 at 3:44 am rating: +2
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#5 Canthz_B

Harsh truth: He doesn’t want or need you back…you just got fucked, accept it and get over it.
You aren’t getting him back, because you never had him…he had you, multiple times and ways, until he was tired of your sorry ass!

Jun 7, 2009 at 3:16 pm rating: +6

reply to this comment
- #5.1 Woman on the Verge
  
  Based on Mark’s assessments of the 10 holes, it could be something other than her sorry ass he was tired of…
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 8:10 pm rating: +3
- #5.2 Canthz_B
  
  What happens in Vegas…
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:47 am rating: +3
- #5.3 mamason
  
  …gives you crabs.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:08 pm rating: +5
- #5.4 Mishee™
  
  …happens everywhere, it just isn’t as fun or as legal….
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:13 pm rating: +7
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#6 TheOldSchool

According to Pushpa Pal Singh:

1. Stay in touch with his/her family – This is the most important key to getting your ex back.

2. Compliment him/her to his/her friends.

3. Show no signs of neediness.

Singh will continuing singing for $99. Wait! If you order now, the price is only $39!

Jun 7, 2009 at 3:20 pm rating: +10

reply to this comment
- #6.1 Sirius¤
  
  Boiled rabbit not included.
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 3:41 pm rating: +9
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#7 Bunnee

This sure makes me glad I’m married. Lord knows, it’s much easier to play dirty psychological tricks on your husband than it is to play dirty psychological tricks on your boyfriend. After all, I got him to marry me, right?

Jun 7, 2009 at 3:22 pm rating: +26

reply to this comment
- #7.1 Mishee™
  
  Not to mention the fact that they have nowhere to run when they catch on (if they actually do).
  
  And there’s nothing they can do about it.
  
  If they bitch, we can just add some special “seasoning” to their dinner and it will make them forget…
  
  Or die.
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 3:26 pm rating: +20
- #7.2 Saysh
  
  All hail The Mishee!!!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:50 am rating: +1
- #7.3 MagPie
  
  Where can I buy Mishee’s cook book??? I think my evil plans have been discovered…
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:30 pm rating: +2
- #7.4 Mishee™
  
  MagPie – I have a show on the Food Network.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:20 pm rating: +3
- #7.5 MAMARILLA2
  
  Mishee cooks with ‘Love’.
  
  Tender husbands in 30 minutes.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:31 pm rating: +5
- #7.6 park rose
  
  and tenderloins in how many minutes, rilla?
  
  Do not hit sub…
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 4:40 pm rating: +4
- #7.7 Mishee™
  
  You know you are from the Bay Area When….
  
  …You hear the word “Tenderloin” and you don’t think of food….
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 4:45 pm rating: +7
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#8 NewMoon

This advertisement is wrong because I need to know *how many* dirty psychological tricks I may discover that will help me win my boyfriend back. For example, I already know 27 ways to get organized, now!, 123 ways to please my man, 18 ways to walk off the weight and so on.

Jun 7, 2009 at 3:29 pm rating: +5

reply to this comment
- #8.1 Canthz_B
  
  50 ways to leave your lover?…♫ Just sneak out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan…♫
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 4:24 pm rating: +5
- #8.2 Mishee™
  
  I’d say there are 37 dirty tricks…
  
  37!
  
  (Ok, I’m guessing, but that’s just my favorite number…)
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 5:27 pm rating: +4
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#9 WillBraden

to be fair, her boyfriend seems to give passionate kisses in the rain, and has a decent IQ. win him back!

Jun 7, 2009 at 3:53 pm rating: +4

reply to this comment
- #9.1 Canthz_B
  
  Meh, I beat Jordan by 11 IQ points…that’s one reason I wouldn’t bother with Megan.
  The other is that her name is Megan.
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 4:28 pm rating: +4
- #9.2 fluffy8u
  
  Yes, but apparently he owns that horrible neon yellow shirt. I vote ditch him just for that.
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 6:13 pm rating: +9
- #9.3 Canthz_B
  
  Agreed. They’re both losers, fuck ‘em.
  NEW NOTE!
  
  I suspect this one was just a pun-stopper anyway!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:03 am rating: +3
- #9.4 lilmegz
  
  hey my name is meagan and i can tell you my husband is not leaving me any time soon. you just need to know how to keep the man happy in all forms.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:39 am rating: +1
- #9.5 Canthz_B
  
  Child of the ’80’s no doubt. Nothing personal, I just hate the name Meagan/Megan…it comes off the tongue in such a bland way to me.
  I’m sure you are a lovely person, with great fellatio skills and that you make a mean frittata, and your man is very happy and content.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:54 am rating: +5
- #9.6 lilmegz
  
  i will confess to a child of 1980 yes. it was a pop name then. i’ll let the secret to my fellatio with the hubby. the name i do agree a little boring, i on the other hand am anything but.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:31 am rating: +1
- #9.7 mamason
  
  What will you confess to this now grown child of 1980 yes? I say soda, not pop. You’ll let the secret to your fellatio with the hubby, what? The writing I do agree a little boring although I have the other hand on your butt.
  
  Are youse from PA? What’s your IQ?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:35 am rating: +3
- #9.8 Canthz_B
  
  As I said, nothing personal.
  
  But why would you want to confess to a child of the 80’s?
  An older priest could probably give you better guidance.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:37 am rating: +6
- #9.9 TheOldSchool
  
  I often take fellatio quite personally.
  
  Maybe it’s a quirk of mine.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:44 am rating: +4
- #9.10 mamason
  
  You have a pretty mouth.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:45 am rating: +3
- #9.11 Canthz_B
  
  I find it lasts longer if I just watch in a dispassionate manner.
  She just keeps trying to please and I give her a wan smile so she tries harder.
  Nothing personal, just business as usual…the balls, Baby, don’t forget the balls.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:54 am rating: +3
- #9.12 mamason
  
  Then shave, baby. Don’t forget to shave the balls.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:04 am rating: +1
- #9.13 Canthz_B
  
  Wait, her Pop was named Megan?
  That beats Marion all to hell!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:07 am rating: +1
- #9.14 Canthz_B
  
  I’ll have Dave Chappelle smooth, shiny balls for you, mama!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:09 am rating: +1
- #9.15 mamason
  
  I’d pull my balls out right now… skeet skeet skeet skeet!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:18 am rating: +1
- #9.16 Canthz_B
  
  So much for that four hour problem with Viagra!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:25 am rating: +1
- #9.17 NewMoon
  
  Win him back! Have him quit his job, move in your house, feed him, clothe him and give him blowjobs when you return from work!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 11:40 am rating: +2
- #9.18 NewMoon
  
  ahem, waxing is better than shaving, so man up!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 11:51 am rating: +2
- #9.19 ClickClack
  
  And after waxing, remember to polish until you achieve a Charlie Sheen.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 4:55 pm rating: +3
- #9.20 NewMoon
  
  Hot Shots! Part Deux
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:39 pm rating: +2
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#10 Sirius¤

Jordon, Megan thinks you’re a tool (and not just because of the douchy way you spell your name)! Megan scored with your best friend! And you; well, you’re just left beating it.

Jun 7, 2009 at 5:19 pm rating: +14

reply to this comment
#11 fluffy8u

Look on the bright side Megan, at least Facebook didn’t post Suicide Hotline ads. They do have some tactfulness.

Jun 7, 2009 at 6:06 pm rating: +8

reply to this comment
#12 Woman on the Verge

The test wasn’t an IQ test, it was that Idiot test with the, well… idiotic questions. A score of 131 just means he took the test 131 times.

Jun 7, 2009 at 8:13 pm rating: +12

reply to this comment
- #12.1 Canthz_B
  
  That Facebook “IQ Test” was crap. It was more of a trivia test.
  (An actual IQ test can be found at tickle.com if it’s still there and you have time to invest in it).
  The fact that Jordon only scored a 131 on it speaks volumes.
  
  If I recall correctly (and I usually do), one of the Facebook IQ questions was “What is the capital of California?”…everyone knows that it’s Burbank!!!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:25 am rating: +2
- #12.2 anglophile
  
  I thought it was Frisco.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 7:56 am rating: +3
- #12.3 Mishee™
  
  *pointedly ignores anglo*
  
  You guys are dumb, everyone knows the capital of California is Las Vegas!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 8:59 am rating: +2
- #12.4 park rose
  
  The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 9:50 am rating: +3
- #12.5 MAMARILLA2
  
  Your Jedi mind tricks do not work on me..
  
  The capital of California is Carmel.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 10:39 am rating: +2
- #12.6 NewMoon
  
  The capital of California is “C”.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 11:16 am rating: +17
- #12.7 Wade
  
  California has no capital. That’s why it is going bankrupt.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 11:53 am rating: +19
- #12.8 Saysh
  
  *applauds this whole thread*
  
  (especially New Moon’s comment because it made me snarf hot tea and that was a pretty good trick!)
  
  Jun 9, 2009 at 6:59 am rating: 0
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#13 aaa

Whatever happened to good old-fashioned stalking? With the advances in technology these days, you can insert yourself into every aspect of your obsession’s life, ensuring that he’ll never think of anything but you. The good thing, Meg, is that since you’re not a man, you won’t end up on Psychotic Letters from Men.

Jun 7, 2009 at 8:22 pm rating: +8

reply to this comment
- #13.1 mamason
  
  you can insert yourself
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:19 am rating: +2
- #13.2 TheOldSchool
  
  Or you can help stimulate the economy.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:03 am rating: +2
- #13.3 mamason
  
  I’ve heard rumors of rising interest…
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:07 am rating: +2
- #13.4 TheOldSchool
  
  The leading indicator is favorable for mergers.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:24 am rating: +4
- #13.5 mamason
  
  Inflation is rising, quickly… this would be a “bare” market then, yes?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:29 am rating: +3
- #13.6 TheOldSchool
  
  It’s no time to pull out, that’s for sure. Just lay back and let the market forces work their magic. It may be bumpy for awhile, but if you’re patient,
  you’ll be smiling when it all pays off.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:37 am rating: +3
- #13.7 Canthz_B
  
  I thought you liked it bullish, mamason?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:45 am rating: +3
- #13.8 mamason
  
  You’re a technical analyst, aren’t you, CB?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:54 am rating: +2
- #13.9 Canthz_B
  
  You have that right…can I analyze you?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:17 am rating: +1
- #13.10 MAMARILLA2
  
  What’s this I hear about a soft economy?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 10:42 am rating: +2
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#14 Sarah

Ha, I’ve been getting those “get your girlfriend back” ads on Gmail since my ex emailed me wanting to get back together.

Jun 7, 2009 at 8:35 pm rating: +3

reply to this comment
- #14.1 fluffy8u
  
  Now assuming you are a girl, is your ex also a girl? No discrimination here (you got my thumb, by the way). Just wondering if Gmail is psychic or completely off base.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:25 am rating: +1
- #14.2 mamason
  
  …“you are a girl, is your ex also a girl?”
  
  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:30 am rating: +1
- #14.3 Canthz_B
  
  Fluffy gave her the thumb!
  That’s so cool!!
  
  I wish I could have watched while fluffy8u, Sarah!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:32 am rating: +3
- #14.4 fluffy8u
  
  I was just curious as to how off base Gmail is. But it doesn’t matter.
  
  Sorry, Sarah. I didn’t mean to make you answer as to what your sexuality is.
  
  And just so you all know, I have nothing towards alternative lifestyles. I was president of my high school’s (and an active member in my college’s) Gay Straight Alliance Club.
  
  CB, for sanity’s sake, I’m just going to ignore you.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 3:48 am rating: +1
- #14.5 anglophile
  
  Some of my best friends are gay.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 7:58 am rating: +5
- #14.6 Canthz_B
  
  LOL, fluffy…I think it’s too late for both of us!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 9:17 am rating: +1
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#15 Geek Goddesss

Facebook has recently started suggesting that I should be friends with my ex-husband. Do you think they know something that I don’t?

Maybe I will…

Meh, no.

Jun 7, 2009 at 8:39 pm rating: +7

reply to this comment
- #15.1 Canthz_B
  
  If Facebook EVER tried to reunite me with my ex-wife, Facebook would die a slow, horrible death!
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 11:52 pm rating: +6
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#16 Geek Goddesss

And since when does Friday come this early in the week?

Jun 7, 2009 at 8:40 pm rating: +2

reply to this comment
#17 Woman on the Verge

With its whole “Big Brother” vibe, that How to Get Your Ex Back ad really makes me question sending that explicit email breaking up with the cable company…

Jun 7, 2009 at 8:41 pm rating: +3

reply to this comment
#18 Wade

I don’t know what’s worse: The ill-placed ad, or that Jordon’s message will be stuck at the top of Megan’s Highlights for the next month.

Jun 7, 2009 at 8:46 pm rating: +4

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#19 Souls Were Fireflies

His name is “Jordon.” Chances are, he’s the idiot… his parents are kreeativ spellurs.

Jun 7, 2009 at 9:51 pm rating: +16

reply to this comment
- #19.1 fluffy8u
  
  I once knew a “Mathyou.” Now that’s some talented spelling.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:31 am rating: +4
- #19.2 MAMARILLA2
  
  Snoughphlaque.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:27 pm rating: +3
- #19.3 park rose
  
  Can be read more than one way. The way I read it is son of a plough!! It’s an insult in some quarters.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 4:36 pm rating: +2
add to this thread
#20 fluffy8u

I wonder how many women would actually click on these links, given the chance.

Jun 7, 2009 at 10:07 pm rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #20.1 aaa
  
  Well, the internet does seem to attract morons, so I’m guessing about 60%. Which is totally a scientific estimate. Totally.
  
  Jun 7, 2009 at 10:31 pm rating: +8
- #20.2 Canthz_B
  
  I’m on the internet, and I’m no moro–…wait…
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:35 am rating: +11
add to this thread
#21 Canthz_B

Gigglebrax correction.

Jun 8, 2009 at 12:17 am rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #21.1 mamason
  
  blerg
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:50 am rating: +1
- #21.2 Canthz_B
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 1:02 am rating: +1
add to this thread
#22 Emily

Shortly after I broke up with my ex, one of those dumb “friend-ranking” quizzes asked me whether I (hypothetically, of course) thought he would be good in bed.

Facepalm.

Jun 8, 2009 at 12:20 am rating: +3

reply to this comment
- #22.1 Canthz_B
  
  The world waits…
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:34 am rating: +3
- #22.2 claw71
  
  We assume he wasn’t nearly as good as his brother way.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:58 pm rating: +1
- #22.3 ClickClack
  
  How much did his brother way?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 4:52 pm rating: +2
- #22.4 Mark
  
  He ain’t heavy… he’s my brother
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 4:56 pm rating: +4
- #22.5 MagPie
  
  The Facebook quizzes are a crap shoot. Sometimes they’re right, sometimes they’re wrong. I took one called “How long will your marriage last” and it told me 5 years. I’ve been married 11. A few days earlier, I took one called “How Retarded Are You” and scored a 68% which is probably the highest I’ve ever gotten on a test before in my LIFE, but I still ask myself why I needed Facebook to point out the obvious.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:00 pm rating: +3
- #22.6 ClickClack
  
  @22.4 – They’re the weigh-in brothers.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:03 pm rating: +3
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#23 mamason

I would rather discover dirty psychological tricks to slowly and torurously drive my boyfriend to the brink of madness after our break-up.

Jun 8, 2009 at 2:27 am rating: +6

reply to this comment
- #23.1 Canthz_B
  
  Hell, I can’t even get into a relationship without dirty psychological tricks!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:41 am rating: +4
- #23.2 Saysh
  
  I seem to be the one the tricks are played ON.
  
  Wait.
  
  MAMA STOP THAT!!!!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:47 am rating: +2
- #23.3 Canthz_B
  
  Trix are for kids, little girl. Want some candy? Hop in my van!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:52 am rating: +2
- #23.4 Saysh
  
  I LOVE candy!!
  
  Do you have some of those black licorice ropes??
  
  *batting eyes*
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:55 am rating: +2
- #23.5 Canthz_B
  
  I’ve got a thick black one for you, come and have a taste.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 3:03 am rating: +1
- #23.6 Saysh
  
  Mmmmmmm
  
  It’s SWEET!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 3:06 am rating: 0
- #23.7 Canthz_B
  
  Just like chocolate, Baby.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 3:23 am rating: 0
- #23.8 mamason
  
  Like bitter sweet chocolate… with the emphasis on bitter.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:14 pm rating: +3
- #23.9 Saysh
  
  “That stuff tastes like bleach…”
  
  Quick, Mishee, Name That Movie!!
  
  Jun 9, 2009 at 7:04 am rating: +1
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#24 Nicolas

That’s why i deleted my Facebook account.

Jun 8, 2009 at 3:52 am rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #24.1 cheeky
  
  Of all the reasons to delete one’s Facebook account, you did it because of ill-timed targeted advertising?
  
  Wow, if you’re that sensitive how do you cope with real life?
  
  Or better yet, with the PAN comments section?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 4:34 am rating: +3
- #24.2 park rose
  
  That’s why I haven’t commented.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 8:14 am rating: +4
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#25 Phalange

This is nothing. Facebook suggested a laser hair-removal ad for me. I’m still trying to figure out exactly how they knew I look like Chewbacca.

Jun 8, 2009 at 8:39 am rating: +4

reply to this comment
- #25.1 park rose
  
  Don’t underestimate the Force.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 9:35 am rating: +6
- #25.2 mamason
  
  I told them.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:17 pm rating: +2
add to this thread
#26 rageknell

i hate those IQ things, cause i keep getting the freakin advert with a deceased friend’s name on it.

Jun 8, 2009 at 9:17 am rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #26.1 mamason
  
  Well, you could probably beat their score, now.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:18 pm rating: +8
add to this thread
#27 park rose

Ghostwriter did a brilliant version of this way back. I can’t remember the thread, but just like buying the haute couture version at Target, I’m here to trot it out again. :

meg here in red deer writes,
megan is busy
too busy to put down the i-phone
meg here in red deer writes, megan’s tryin’
to start a new life of her own
meg here in red deer writes, megan’s happy,
So why don’t you leave her alone?

And facebooks says “40 posts more for the next 3 minutes”
Ple-ease Facebook, I don’t wanna talk to him
I’ll only keep a while
Please Facebook, I already told ‘im goodbye

meg here in red deer writes, mor[d]on is worryin’
I’ll be catchin’ the psycho train
meg here in red deer writes, take your umbrella
cause meaning t’use it to cause pain
And facebook says, “thank you for scorin’,
and, girl, score again?”

And facebooks says “40 posts more for the next 3 minutes”
Ple-ease Facebook, I don’t wanna stalk him
He’s inarticulate and vile
Please Facebook, I already told ‘im goodbye

Jun 8, 2009 at 9:32 am rating: +3

reply to this comment
#28 barren

that’s nothing. how about all the babymomma ads i had to look at before, during and after ivf treatment and miscarriages? stupid f’n f’book.

Jun 8, 2009 at 9:55 am rating: 0

reply to this comment
#29 Boomer55

–error—

Jun 8, 2009 at 12:08 pm rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #29.1 Mishee™
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 12:12 pm rating: +1
- #29.2 fluffy8u
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:15 pm rating: +1
- #29.3 ClickClack
  
  ☊
  ☋
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:19 pm rating: +1
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#30 claw71

Hard to sympathize with Meg on this one, I left my relationship status and sexual preference blank. I tell my wife that I just don’t want that much personal information out there. I’ve also told her that the reason I never confirmed her as a friend is because I have fashioned myself as a bit of an online humorist and that I frequently post status updates and comments that some people might find offensive. “I don’t want to drag you down, honey, ” I tell her. She loves me for being so considerate.

But it’s not true. I do make a lot of jokes on the internet and most of them are crude to say the least. Once in a while somebody takes offense but mostly people like it. Chicks love it. I’m so…unbridled…that they assume (rightfully) that I’m a relentless sex machine. If I don’t have limits online, I probably don’t have limits in bed (ass to mouth)…I probably don’t even do it in bed. I probably go at it on the kitchen floor like a depraved lunatic, leaving you in a cum-soaked heap on the floor just as your husband pulls into the driveway. Sexy.

I keep the sexual preference section open because, while I am totally not gay, I know that most Republicans are. I also know that most Republicans are rich. claw71 is down with the ladies, but I can switch hit if the price is right.

Facebook is where it all happens for me. I don’t want to wreck that by telling the world that I’m married to a soul-sucking bitch who keeps squeezing out mongoloid babies in hopes of finally getting one right.

Jun 8, 2009 at 12:56 pm rating: +10

reply to this comment
- #30.1 Mishee™
  
  Seventeen year olds nowadays are crazy. They’re up for anything. They even like it when you go ass to mouth.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:19 pm rating: +2
- #30.2 MAMARILLA2
  
  I must be old school…E before F always.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 2:27 pm rating: +2
- #30.3 ClickClack
  
  Wait, I’m really confused now….
  Not only has your quip about alphabetical sequence left me flummoxed, but you think that you’re TheOldSchool?!?
  
  Perhaps you should lie down.
  Or does claiming to be TOS qualify as lying up?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:10 pm rating: +2
add to this thread
#31 oi

of course I want my ex back, when he breaks up with me. That makes me humble. We all know:
Swallowing your pride is non-fattening!

Jun 8, 2009 at 3:04 pm rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #31.1 ClickClack
  
  Ah, but more importantly, will you swallow his pride?
  
  When he spouts off, I mean. It’s a good idea to come clean, after all.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 4:42 pm rating: +6
- #31.2 oi!
  
  I knew what you meant even before you edited. Actually you kinda killed your comment after editing.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 4:57 pm rating: +1
- #31.3 ClickClack
  
  Do you mean I choked it off?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 4:58 pm rating: +3
- #31.4 park rose
  
  Tender lions. I imagine swallowing a pride of them would stack on the calories.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:21 pm rating: +2
- #31.5 ClickClack
  
  I’m sure the feline is mutual.
  
  BTW, rose, you could be the mane attraction on Britain’s Got Talons.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:27 pm rating: +3
add to this thread
#32 oi!

This commnet is meaningful, but next comment is not.
I am gonna lose at this back editing fight just because I started it. DAMN!

Jun 8, 2009 at 4:54 pm rating: +4

reply to this comment
- #32.1 ClickClack
  
  Arrggh… Previous comment rendered meaningless by back-editing above.
  
  Disregard. Disengage. Discontinue. Dis too shall pass. Dismissed.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 4:59 pm rating: +5
- #32.2 fluffy8u
  
  What about the comment after the next comment? Is that one meaningful or memorable in any way?
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:18 pm rating: +2
- #32.3 park rose
  
  Piss too shall pass.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:19 pm rating: +4
- #32.4 ClickClack
  
  You’ll always be Number 1 in my book, rose.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:21 pm rating: +3
- #32.5 oi!
  
  Do not pass.
  Always flunk your exams.
  Always keep your kidneys full of Calcium.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:23 pm rating: +3
- #32.6 Eric
  
  Better than being Number 2!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:24 pm rating: +1
- #32.7 park rose
  
  sometimes, clickclack, even though I think you’re quite amazing, I have the strange feeling that your tendencies might lean more towards anal-expulsive. therefore, i’m taking the comment above with a grain of salt.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:27 pm rating: +3
- #32.8 ClickClack
  
  Ooh, I love when a woman engages in pillar talk.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:29 pm rating: +4
- #32.9 park rose
  
  Ah, CC, I’m through with this lot, but there’s no looking back, I guess. You’re just too fast for me.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:35 pm rating: +4
- #32.10 NewMoon
  
  Like shits that pass in the night.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 5:47 pm rating: +4
- #32.11 park rose
  
  @32.8 I guess that’s when you know her in the biblical sense.
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 6:00 pm rating: +3
add to this thread
#33 park rose

gigglebraz fai.

Jun 8, 2009 at 5:59 pm rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #33.1 oi!
  
  I vote for gigglepantiez!
  
  Jun 8, 2009 at 6:02 pm rating: +7
add to this thread
#34 Sirius¤

Wow. There is an ad on my screen with a picture of Jennifer Aniston, and the words “Her score is 118! Can you beat it?”

This place is getting a little too creepy and self-referential. On a positive note, Jordon can now claim that he’s smarter than The Human Ribcage.

Jun 8, 2009 at 7:10 pm rating: +3

reply to this comment
#35 Emily

When I read emails from my boyfriend there’s always a google ad for me to “get [my] ex girlfriend back.” Haha, less than impressive.

Jun 25, 2009 at 11:02 am rating: 0

reply to this comment
#36 stephizzal

hey, MAMARILLA2, joking apart about the bra size/IQ thing, i put up a photo on facebook of myself in a dress that made me look somewhat..’gifted’ in the chest department- which my (female) friend left tongue-in-cheek comment under involving the word ‘boobs’. not 2 minutes later did i start receiving targeted ads for ‘bravissimo’ (lingerie company designed for women with big breasts)

coincidence? lol

Jun 27, 2009 at 9:58 am rating: 0

reply to this comment
#37 Shawn

A targeted ad promoting labioplasty always appears on my gmail account. This is concerning, as I don’t have a vagina. Also, what is it about my email account that suggests I’d be a keen candidate for cosmetic surgery to my vagina? Can anyone explain this?

Jul 21, 2009 at 12:34 am rating: 0

reply to this comment
#38 feel free to share the happy news

[...] related: when targeted advertising on facebook goes terribly, horribly wrong [...]

Oct 21, 2009 at 7:49 pm rating: 0

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Don’t feed the cat (or the trolls) (73)
- park rose: The cat or THX SANDRA? It’s a tough call.
- park rose: True, true. I heard they went to the peep show at Little Bo’s first, where they took in those lambs...
- park rose: Yes, ty, but did it have three goats and a troll?* *Is it my fault that googling cat & killx5 &...
- Beth: Ugh, even though it’s taboo for dogs to roam around outside unattended, plenty of owners still take their...
- Geek Goddess: Yeah, the cat will lurk in a dimly lit place, preferably at the top of the basement stairs, trip you,...

painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

when targeted advertising goes terribly, horribly wrong

June 7th, 2009 · 186 comments

186 responses so far ↓

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