Why can’t you act professional?

June 8th, 2009 · 146 comments

Writes Aimee in Sellersburg, Indiana: “My former boss used to leave these kind of notes posted on our work bulletin board constantly. It was a really boring job, so these little rays of sunshine made coming to work worth it.”

why can't you act professional?

related: I don’t recall signing any bond/contact regarding your use of exclamation points!!!

FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · confusion??? · crazy boss · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Indiana · now that's management · sad face · You call that punctuation?


146 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Mishee™ bang

    From the looks of the names on that “Staff Who Needs New Pictures” list, I’d say Aimee works in a brothel?

    (With the exception of Rupert… but he is just probably a fluffer…)

    Jun 8, 2009 at 6:02 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   TheOldSchool

      Fluffing used to be Matt’s job, until Rupert walked all over him.

      Now Matt’s posted at the door.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 8:16 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   WillBraden bang

    12 periods, 9 question marks and 23 exclamation points? do we have a new record????!?!!!?!?!?!!?!????…………….?

    Jun 8, 2009 at 6:04 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   oi!

    I am not happy about how she spells her name. aimee?
    I am pretty sure she is not ambitious.

    Jun 8, 2009 at 6:06 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Devika

      I think Aimee is the French version of Amy. “Kristie” on the other hand…that’s just excessive.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 10:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   aaa

      What, should we be encouraging the French people, now? Really…

      Jun 9, 2009 at 10:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Mishee™ bang

      I figured it was aimee cause like I said earlier she works in a brothel.

      Just like when you are being trained for something, you are a “trainee”, this girl is getting aimed at, hence, she is an “aimee”

      Jun 9, 2009 at 10:52 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   oi!

      I thumbed you for that one Mishee. That’s what (kinda) I was trying to say.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 11:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   tadpole

      Yup, Aimee is a French name. It means “beloved”.

      aaa, the French don’t need your encouragements, nor anyone else’s. They tend to consider that whenevereveryone else disagrees (or, in some cases, pour xenophobic shit on their collective head since t hey’re the only ethnic group left that you can bash without consequences), they must be doing something right. And in some cases, it verifies.

      Aug 9, 2009 at 7:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   mylene

      Aimée means Loved in french.

      Aug 12, 2009 at 10:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   anglophile bang

    Gee, I can’t imagine why the staff can’t act professional.

    :?

    Adjectives used as adverbs make me :(

    Jun 8, 2009 at 6:09 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   park rose

      How about nouns as verbs? I think they can be kind of sexy.

      I’m having visions of Basil Brush and his mighty tail, actually. And the New York Times. But it might be too early in the thread to get surreal.

      Adjectives used as adverbs can be real good, but I feel your pain ♥

      Jun 8, 2009 at 6:31 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      It is NEVER to early to get surreal.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 6:45 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Mark bang

      Yes, and the running dungeon tastes purple!

      Jun 8, 2009 at 6:54 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   TheOldSchool

      Purple is a pilled-up leper fleeing the ganga din of a bong-fueled, electric knives party.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 8:44 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   mamason bang

      Purple is a fruit.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 12:27 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   TheOldSchool

      But Purple is not the ONLY fruit.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 1:20 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   park rose

      Black is the color

      Jun 9, 2009 at 1:21 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   TheOldSchool

      Actually, black is the ONLY color that doesn’t reflect light from any part of the visible rectum.

      Spend enough time with mandrills and you’ll understand what I mean.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 1:41 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.9   Heather

      Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.10   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Crayons taste like purple *awk*.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 10:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.11   aaa

      Hey now, no awkwarding the Crayolas…

      Jun 9, 2009 at 10:50 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.12   oi bang

      purple is new blue. It sounds like ultrasonic boom but bats can’t hear it.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 12:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.13   you suck at craigslist

      Adjectivitizing weirds language.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 8:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.14   you suck at craigslist

      Also, thumbs up to Mamarilla2 for the Greg the Bunny reference.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 8:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.15   anglophile bang

      Aw, now you went and made my ears bleed, you suck!

      Jun 9, 2009 at 8:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.16   Snippy

      His stage name was Cat Stevens before he changed it to YouSuck.

      No argument on the ear bleeding, however.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 8:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.17   park rose

      Also, 4.14, thumbs up for TOS for the Jeanette Winterson reference.

      Oh, and the Nina Simone (4.17) ;) .

      And the Mandrills.

      Though I have a feeling that nothing compares to Greg the Bunny.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.18   oi!

      this is not fair, people get thumbs up for some obscure(ok may be not) american show/movie reference. There is no value for being original.
      nobody says life is not fair alright?

      Jun 17, 2009 at 7:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   tk.

    “Professional… you keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.”

    Jun 8, 2009 at 6:17 pm   rating: 66  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   fluffy8u

      Doesn’t it mean ‘characterized by or involving indiscriminate mingling or association, esp. having sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis?’

      Jun 9, 2009 at 3:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   dinalily

    I really want to see those notes in the computer! Other locations tattled to Jeff about them, they must be good! Or did they tattle about not having update pictures?

    Jun 8, 2009 at 6:18 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Woman on the Verge bang

    I’m still struggling with the meaning of “Don’t put notes on other staff members in the computer!!!!” Are these people posting notes on each other while standing in computers? Are they posting notes on other staff’s members? Are they avatars in a video game of The Office?

    Jun 8, 2009 at 6:19 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   park rose

      You know how you asked your folks if the people in the television were real, but just kind of miniature? Well, this is the Internet version.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 6:24 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Geek Goddess

      WotV, you just copy and paste.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 7:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   clumber

      How embarrassing.. I thought all she had to do was press her lips together and blow…

      And me too, Verge, me too… I have read it at least a dozen times, even tried restructuring the ‘sentence” and I still have no idea what the Pro is talking about and what I am no longer supposed to do…

      Jun 9, 2009 at 3:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Joe bang

      I think the other staff members are the cast of ReBoot.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 9:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   NotClever

      I’m probably ruining the joke here, but after a few seconds I realized it must be some sort of employee database?

      I’m guessing someone tagged a bunch of people with goofy descriptions or something and someone at another office ratted them out, so of course Lora gets the heat.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 1:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Woman on the Verge bang

    LORA!!!!

    POSTING NOTES ALL IN CAPS WITH EXCESSIVE PUNCTUATION……. RUN ON SENTENCES…… AND FROWNY FACED SIGNATURES IN LOOPY HANDWRITING IS NOT PROFESSIONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    PROFESSIONAL – YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.

    Jun 8, 2009 at 6:20 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   oi!

      Nope she is doing right. I agree she is not PAN perfect(no pink penises/hearts, no xxoo, no rainbow text) but she is not doing wrong!

      Jun 8, 2009 at 6:24 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      True, oi, she is doing PAN right, but professional? I don’t think so.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 6:31 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   park rose

      Loran Order… she needs a heady or heavy dose of decorum.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 6:33 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   oi

      oh I forgot you are not suppose to be sarcastic all the time!

      Jun 8, 2009 at 7:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Canthz_B bang

      Loopy handwriting reveals a Loopy Lora.

      I don’t think I’ve ever cared how my boss felt about anything.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 7:36 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   Mishee™ bang

      I don’t know CB. I’ve done extensive research on handwriting analysis.

      I’d say her handwriting resembles the script of a serial killer.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 7:47 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   oi!

      so the first letter is L? Am I the only one who read it rosa?

      Jun 8, 2009 at 7:57 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   G

      Oh, man, now it’s like one of those optical illusions where you can see both depending on how you’re focusing.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 8:04 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   TheOldSchool

      I thought it was Hora.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 8:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.10   Neeners

      Did she also really need to sign it? I am sure they could have guessed who wrote the note.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 9:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.11   TheOldSchool

      Think again, Neeners. The boys from the lab just confirmed what I’d suspected all along. Hora idn’t write the note.

      Now, everyone else (and I do mean EVERYONE) is a suspect.

      There’s something very fishy going on at this little bunny ranch, and I aim to get to the bottom of it.

      Aimee, if you’re reading this, do not leave Sellersburg until I’ve patted you down and done a thorough cavity search.

      This is getting serious.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 1:27 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.12   TheOldSchool

      I guess I should have said, “and GIVEN YOU a thorough cavity search.”

      Lord knows I’m giving myself a cavity search. I’m not a suspect.

      (Am I?)

      Sure I was there on official business, conducting simultaneous interviews with Brooke K and Vicky. Once or twice, Emily may have joined us … in the investigation. Killing three birds with two stones kind of thing. The chief will understand.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 1:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.13   TheOldSchool

      If nobody objects, I’m no longer calling her “Just Hora,” I’m calling her “Our Hora.”

      Jun 9, 2009 at 1:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.14   TheOldSchool

      P.S., when I said “this is getting serious,” I wasn’t referring to you, Sirius.

      But I do have some questions for you. (Just to rule you out as a suspect, of course.)

      Jun 9, 2009 at 1:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Woman on the Verge bang

    “HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT WHEN JEFF CONFRONTED ME…” Gee, I don’t know, Lora. Let me think. All caps, redundant exclamation points, a frown – oh, and the statement that you are not happy – I’m going to guess …. stupid?

    Jun 8, 2009 at 6:36 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Sirius¤ bang

      and just a tiny bit aroused.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 6:45 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   park rose bang

      when he confronted me with his tattle-tail…

      I’ve got the feeling that Jeff wears a plastic mac rather than uses one.

      He enjoys exposing members and his staff to his stuff and his staff.

      As an aside, in Japan, staff and stuff may as well be the same word. There is no recognition of its role as an uncountable noun, either. Every stuffs will have a meeting today at 1pm…

      Jun 8, 2009 at 6:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   TheOldSchool

      I’ll bet she felt as soft as a cum-drenched Sham-wow.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 8:23 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   fluffy8u

      You can use a Sham-wow for that?!?

      Jun 9, 2009 at 3:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   clumber

      Well of course you can! You know the Germans always make good stuff!

      All we can say is : SHAM wow!

      (Huh… that’s the first time I noticed that it is calling itself a sham. Why hello there snake, I didn’t see you there…)

      Jun 9, 2009 at 3:29 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Wade bang

    If the staff members are in the computer, how do you put notes on them?

    Jun 8, 2009 at 6:46 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   BurstingAtTheSeams

      Perhaps the staff members are working in an older office with deprecated equipment. For example, this guy is just asking to have a note left on him.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 8:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Mishee™ bang

    Yes Lora, just like Mike explained to Cindy in a heartwarming episode…

    Nobody likes a tattle tale.

    Jun 8, 2009 at 6:48 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   clumber

      OW! My Nose!

      Nor do they like a well-aimed pigskin… But give ‘em some tittle & tale and they’ll cook you breakfast in the morning.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 3:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Sirius¤ bang

    Oh, but I CAN act professional, Lora. I can also act like your happiness means two shits to me. I can even act like I’m staying at this boring job for any reason other than to get enough money to buy bullets and go Post Office on your frowny ass.

    Jun 8, 2009 at 7:07 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   The Rev. Ug

    Lora goes old-school with the emoticon. Nice.

    Jun 8, 2009 at 8:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   se

    I can’t imagine that putting my staff or my member in the computer could be at all pleasant.

    Jun 8, 2009 at 8:16 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   anglophile bang

      You just need a computer with the right kind of port, se.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 8:30 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   TheOldSchool

    Sellersburg?

    That’s just a rock’s toss from Whoretown.

    Jun 8, 2009 at 8:19 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Mark bang

      Also very close to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook!

      Jun 9, 2009 at 12:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Mishee™ bang

      I hear Shelbyville is also in the vicinity.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 12:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Neeners

    BOSS -

    DO NOT WRITE COMPUTER NOTES INVOLVING ALL THE WORKERS IN THIS OFFICE!!!!!!

    AND IF YOU ARE LISTED BELOW, WE THINK YOU SHOULD SHOVE THE PICTURES UP YOUR ASS AND GET A LIFE…….

    HOW DO YOU THINK WE ALL FELT WHEN YOU CONFRONTED US WITH A GROUP MEMO IN ALL CAPS AND USED THE WORDS “TATTLE TALED” IN IT???????

    WE’VE ALL LEFT AND TAKEN JOBS AT A MORE PROFESSIONAL LOCATION (JEFF’S).

    WE ARE VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!

    STAFF =-)

    Lora

    Jun 8, 2009 at 8:23 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Consultant Calamities

    What a bunch of children!!!!

    Jun 8, 2009 at 8:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   TheOldSchool

      CC,

      Saying that here is like shouting “Free Theatre Tickets!” to a convention hall filled with gay firemen.

      Remember, the first amendment is only an amendment; meaning it can be amended.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 1:47 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   KD

    looks like the picture thing is unrelated. And what DID the other locations say? Now I’m curious.

    Jun 8, 2009 at 8:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   ClickClack bang

      You mean you have a constant craving to know, Miss Chatelaine?

      Jun 9, 2009 at 2:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Sirius¤ bang

      *races in, out of breath and looking around wildly*

      LESBIANS? What? Oh, nevermind.

      *races out*

      Jun 9, 2009 at 2:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   ClickClack bang

      That was Howard Stern from Sirius-XM satellite radio, everyone! Let’s hear it for him! :D

      Jun 9, 2009 at 2:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   Sirius¤ bang

      Actually I was imagining Groucho, who was also rumored to have a fondness for the stronger weaker sex.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 3:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   Sirius¤ bang

      *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      Jun 9, 2009 at 3:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Quite Contrary

    The frown as part of the signature is redundant. Dramatic, but redundant.

    Jun 8, 2009 at 9:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Neeners

      It really drives home how truly upset Lora is.

      Jun 8, 2009 at 9:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      But if she was REALLY upset she would have used clipart.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 12:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   C

    I can’t act professional because I don’t have a good agent.

    Jun 8, 2009 at 9:27 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Vlad the impaler

    One good turn deserves another:

    Why can’t you use adverbs correct????!!!!!!!!

    Put Lora and THX Sandra in a room with a knife and keyboard missing the exclamation point and see who survives.

    Jun 8, 2009 at 9:34 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   fluffy8u

      Lora. No! Sandra! Lora…. yeah… Lora, because she also knows how to use a Sharpie. What does Sandra know how to use? Clip art? Can’t clip art an exclamation point, honey!

      Jun 9, 2009 at 2:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   anglophile bang

      Sure you can, aaa.

      It’s Rule 34(a). If it exists, there’s Clip Art for it.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 7:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   aaa

      Wait, how did I get involved? I suppose that it’s just time for is to be All About aaa instead of Mishee™ now. :D

      Jun 9, 2009 at 10:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   aaa

      P.S.

      If you can’t clipart an exclamation point, what the hell are those things sitting next to some commenters’ comments? ;D

      Jun 9, 2009 at 10:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   zombieBlanco bang

      All About aaa?   Is you drunk?

      Jun 9, 2009 at 10:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.6   fluffy8u

      Okay, so I’m mistaken. You can clip art an exclamation point. There should be a joke here, but I can’t think of one. Feel free to supply one yourselves.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 10:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   aaa

    Tattle taled, eh? Is it any wonder why those stereotypes about “hoosiers” keep surviving?

    Jun 8, 2009 at 9:49 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Hunka Chunka

    I miss those notes. I wish I had them at night to keep me warm.

    Jun 9, 2009 at 12:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   kira

    why don’t she write good?

    Jun 9, 2009 at 12:29 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   fluffy8u

      “Me fail English? That’s Unpossible!”

      Jun 9, 2009 at 2:32 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   floof

      i could talk english real good……..!!!!!!!

      Jun 9, 2009 at 2:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   lilmegz

      i only speak american

      Jun 9, 2009 at 9:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Lauren

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q60GQrARpN8
    It’s not enough to act professional. You have to BE professional. Are you PROFESSIONAL?

    It got stuck in my head, I might as well pass it on.

    Jun 9, 2009 at 1:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   TheOldSchool

    I can easily see how all the trouble began at this Indiana brothel.

    A “john” comes in and states he’d like Amanda to give him a bj.

    He enters the darkened room, sheds his officer’s clothing, gets serviced, and then discovers that our Hora sent in Rupert, not Amanda.

    Moral: Parents, don’t name your daughters Amanda. Mistakes get made.

    Jun 9, 2009 at 2:09 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   TheOldSchool

      As for Hora, I just know that some people are going to read her name, and ask: “was the confusion related to the fast that she is hispanic?”

      The answer is an unqualified “No!”

      Rupert caused his panic, not Hora.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 2:14 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Que Hora?

      Jun 9, 2009 at 12:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   TheOldSchool

      Dose annuities, si’il vous plait.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 3:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   fluffy8u

    I am 63.2% sure she spelled “tattled taled” wrong. Or at least used the wrong past tense.

    Jun 9, 2009 at 2:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   park rose

      I guess so, fluff. If it actually was a verb, maybe she should have written tattle-told. But then the present tense would be tattle-tell. Damn irregulars.

      However (dons linguist cap) most new verbs take a regular form (that is ‘ed’), and tattle-tale as a verb is a new verb, so she’s doin’ all right.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 3:15 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   fluffy8u

      Curse you irregulaaarrrssss!!! *shakes fist*

      Jun 9, 2009 at 3:26 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   I was a child

      Tattled.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 7:09 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   park rose

      True.
      Tattered.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 8:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.5   MsDolfinn

      @ 27.2 I think they make a pill for that.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 9:56 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.6   aaa

      Well, Jamie Lee Curtis does sell yogurt for it. Although I don’t know how much I trust it…

      Jun 9, 2009 at 10:54 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.7   Mishee™ bang

      Maybe “tattle teller” for the past tense rose?

      Jun 9, 2009 at 10:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.8   NewMoon

      *puts on pedant robe*

      I think 27.3 is on the right track. One tattles, or one tattles a tale. Or, one may be a tatttletale. The past tense would be “tattled a tale”.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 11:12 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.9   NewMoon

      Oh nevermind, “tattle” would not take an object. So, one wouldn’t tattle a tale.

      (okay, I will shut up now)

      Jun 9, 2009 at 11:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.10   oi

      with 27.3

      Jun 9, 2009 at 11:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.11   oi!

      yeah shut up now. I thought your earlier comment made sense so jumped on the wagon. now you come here contradicting yourself?

      Jun 9, 2009 at 11:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.12   park rose

      This is what I got from my quick and thorough (not) etymology search:
      Tattle:

      1481, “to stammer, prattle,” in Caxton’s translation of “Reynard the Fox,” probably from M.Flem. tatelen “to stutter,” parallel to M.Du., M.L.G., E.Fris. tateren “to chatter, babble,” possibly of imitative origin. The meaning “tell tales or secrets” is first recorded 1581. Sense influenced by tittle. Tattletale formed in Eng. 1888, probably patterned on telltale (1548).

      So tattle is the verb as said at 27.3. In a modern sense it would be tattle we would have to replace with tell – so told a tale is probably about as accurate as it might get in past, or to just cut out the ‘tale’ part as suggested in 27.3.

      I find it interesting that sense was probably influenced by tittle. Is this the thread with hot wax and nipples?

      Jun 9, 2009 at 7:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.13   ClickClack bang

      Well, I’m certainly titillated.

      I suppose threading could be used as a depilatory method for furry nipples… but there I go, waxing nostalgic again. Even the fondest old mammaries do fade with time, you know.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 7:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Canthz_B bang

    Lora just needs to hire some professional actors.

    Jun 9, 2009 at 9:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Sam Raimi can direct.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 11:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Carrieknowseverything

    I have no clue what that said, at all.

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Jun 9, 2009 at 12:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Zhopka

    Wait, wait, why do we assume that Lora is a signature? Can you visualize someone typing up THAT kind of a note and then signing it softly by hand? Not unless they are bipolar, I think. Anyway, I say Lora is just another staff name “listed below”, added to the note after it was printed. And having to add one more person really broke this already-saddened boss’ heart. Thus the sad face and the disproportionate letters. Lora’s shortcomings were the last drops into the boss’ overflowing cup of professional patience. And s/he is not happy about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Jun 9, 2009 at 12:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Kalebarkab

    I want to find good pop music. Help me please.

    Jun 9, 2009 at 1:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Joe bang

      You’re intentionally listening to pop music? Oh, you need help alright.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 2:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   ClickClack bang

      Look inside the computer. There are notes on the staffs.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 2:16 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   Sirius¤ bang

      @ClickClack

      Bravo! Encore!

      Jun 9, 2009 at 2:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   park rose

      Note to Click Clack, you’re trebling me. You sure are sharp at this, I’d say a natural. Bassicaly, It’s leaving me all a little flat.

      Or, if we’re going to get meta and refer to another thread, I guess you’d say I’m floundering.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 7:08 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.5   ClickClack bang

      I don’t just work for scale, rose.
      Now sing me a tuna with sole, gill-friend!

      (Just don’t write me a roman à clef.)

      Jun 9, 2009 at 7:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.6   anglophile bang

      Not this same old song again. It’s a real Golden Oldie. :roll:

      Jun 9, 2009 at 7:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.7   ClickClack bang

      Aw, come on, rose…. Walleye admit to recycling material, the shoal must go on! I’ll just try not to run aground on the choral riff.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 7:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.8   fluffy8u

      What do you call a fish with no eyes?

      Fsh!

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.9   park rose

      ‘glo, I am sure that you meant to ask CC to refrain from playing on that old time rock and rollmop music, the kind that soothes the sole, but then, I also know that when you choose your words they usually mean just what you choose them to mean — neither more nor less.

      He honoured your wishes, anyway, I coda not done better, apart from being able to tell the two of us apart. He is forgiven for that transgression because a man who can make a pun function triumvirately gets the thumb from me (look, I know, I know your opinion on nouns operating as adjectives/adverbs, incorrectly so, too, and such…it’s so much fun, though).

      Jun 11, 2009 at 4:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Kellye

    Passive-aggressive office management is fucking delicious.

    Doesn’t middle management get paid specifically NOT to pull nonconfrontational crap like this?

    Jun 9, 2009 at 2:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   claw71 bang

      In my experience I think that middle management gets paid specifically TO pull non-confrontational crap like this. When I was in middle management I always got reprimanded by my superiors for being “undiplomatic” and when I’ve been forced to answer to middle management I was confounded by their inability to be direct and get to the core of the issue.

      In fact, in every corporate structure I’ve analyzed the most highly regarded middle managers are highly proficient at avoiding anything resembling a commitment. They always eschew direct confrontation in favor of addressing grievances with an entire group and even impose penalties, such as a more rigid dress code or the termination of flex time, upon everybody rather than take the individual who abuses those things to task.

      Nope. The secret to corporate success is to burrow yourself deep into the soft underbelly of middle management. Collect the trifling stock options they offer, grow your 401K, and kiss just enough ass to ensure that you’ll make every downsizing cut.

      Suspend your ideals, leave your back bone at home and don’t even dream about the days when you had balls. Talk in circles, stay on top of the latest buzzwords and regularly browse the business section at Borders for the latest books on motivation and selling power. Buy them. Read them. Make sure everybody sees you with them. And for god’s sake, don’t ever come up with an idea. Ideas get people noticed and people who get noticed are given responsibilities.

      Yeah, Jack Carson formerly of Trader Publishing Company, I am talking about you.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 3:29 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   Mike

      Ah yes. One person was making too many personal phone calls.
      Solution? Pass a new policy requiring every employee to audit all his/her phone calls each month and submit a check for personal calls for the amount exceeding $5.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   Kellye

      “They always eschew direct confrontation in favor of addressing grievances with an entire group and even impose penalties, such as a more rigid dress code or the termination of flex time, upon everybody rather than take the individual who abuses those things to task.”

      This actually JUST happened to my office a few weeks ago. Our flex time was terminated because of one particular time-card-fraud-executing asshole who doesn’t work there anymore. So if Sphincter McSlackerson was fired, why the heck was the whole office punished? I still don’t get it.

      “Nope. The secret to corporate success is to burrow yourself deep into the soft underbelly of middle management. Collect the trifling stock options they offer, grow your 401K, and kiss just enough ass to ensure that you’ll make every downsizing cut.”

      Heartwarming. Nothing like bureaucracy to verify your faith in the inherent goodness of the human race.

      “Suspend your ideals, leave your back bone at home and don’t even dream about the days when you had balls. Talk in circles, stay on top of the latest buzzwords and regularly browse the business section at Borders for the latest books on motivation and selling power. Buy them. Read them. Make sure everybody sees you with them. And for god’s sake, don’t ever come up with an idea. Ideas get people noticed and people who get noticed are given responsibilities.”

      I’m not even supposed to be here today…

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   claw71 bang

    I’m not a professional but I play one at work.

    Jun 9, 2009 at 3:16 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   PT

    “Lora”,

    WHY CAN’T YOU SPELL YOU’RE NAME CORRECTLY?!?!?!?!?!????!!!!1

    YOUR NOT A VERY HAPPY PERSON ARE YOU?!!!%$$@#!??!

    p.s.

    WE KNOW YOUR SHAGGING JEFF

    (OMG!!!($@)#(#D)

    Jun 9, 2009 at 4:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   park rose

      Using adjectives as adverbs… ur doin it wrong… ;)

      Everything else is fine. Carry on…

      Jun 9, 2009 at 7:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   anglophile bang

      ahem, rose.

      there is the small matter of the homophone confusion.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 7:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.3   ClickClack bang

      They’re not confused; they were born that way.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 7:57 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.4   park rose

      Glo,

      I think the homophone confusion was keeping within the spirit of the original note. Correctly using an adverb was not. ;)

      CC, not that there’s anything wrong with that

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   Sarah

    I work in what one would think was a very professional atmosphere, but looks can fool you. I was sitting at my desk this morning working diligently when one of my male coworkers farts in my cube and blocks me in so I can’t move. I am just glad no board members were around.

    Jun 9, 2009 at 4:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Snippy

      Yeah, but are you bored when round members are glad?

      Jun 9, 2009 at 8:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   Snippy

    Oops, gigglebrax fail (again).

    I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

    Jun 9, 2009 at 8:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   fluffy8u

    I can’t act “professional” because I have Tourette’s Syndrome. POTATO! And I thank you for bringing up my disabilities! :cry: EMILY HAS HERPES!

    Jun 9, 2009 at 11:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Kellye

      Herpes, the gift that keeps on giving.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   Mark bang

      Herpes herpes bo berpes

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     

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