no, no you can’t

June 9th, 2009 · 225 comments

writes our anonymous submitter from san francisco: “i bought $50 worth of groceries at trader joe’s, my boyfriend made an awesome pizza out of [some of] them, and as we were watching a movie and eating some, my uber-bachelor roommate yelled through the door and asked if he could get a slice. the man has rice and soy protein on his shelf in the pantry, for almost 2 years has been replacing leftovers in the fridge with “IOUs,” and rarely makes anything worth sharing — not that we would impose. sean said ‘yeah,’ i countered with ‘meh,’ and after 30 minutes of door-slamming, he left this note on the table — along with a sticker on our pizza that said ‘meh.’”

no, no you can't

related: get your own :)

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FILED UNDER: art · food · roommates · san francisco · shit


225 responses so far ↓

  • #1   TheOldSchool

    It appears that not only is the submitter’s roommate situation a bitch, but now it has gone and given birth to a litter of puppies.

    Congratulations!

    Jun 9, 2009 at 10:47 pm   rating: +53  

     
  • #2   Kate

    Maybe if Sean stopped sharing his excrement and starting sharing something nice he could eat that slice with impunity.

    Jun 9, 2009 at 10:50 pm   rating: +45  

     
  • #3   leftfoot

    the silhouette of the alligator puppet makes it all the more sinister.

    Jun 9, 2009 at 10:52 pm   rating: +14  

    • #3.1   jenocide

      I thought it was a coyote. As to what either of them have to do with pizza, I am at a loss.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 10:58 pm   rating: +12  

       
    • #3.2   Wade

      It is a representation of Lamú, the demon dog spirit possessing the soul of the hula dancer.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 11:02 pm   rating: +90  

       
    • #3.3   TheOldSchool

      The drawing was sloppy. The torsos should have connected better, and the top two crosshatches of the “E” in LAME could have blended neatly into Lamu’s arms.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:03 am   rating: +10  

       
    • #3.4   leftfoot

      maybe so, but the maniacal squiggles against flower paper is a fantastic artistic statement.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:09 am   rating: +10  

       
    • #3.5   fluffy8u

      Yes, it takes pure talent to transform an adorable hula girl into something so menacing. My bunny slippers had to run for cover.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:24 am   rating: +28  

       
    • #3.6   Karen

      It’s Godzilla! You can tell by the buildings he is about to step on.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 10:53 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #3.7   Clumber

      Wrong!
      It is his attempt at using old clip art in a hand scrawled note. He is making a lunge for a higher PAN score ! That old coyote with the bandanna, you know the one. He was trying for THAT.

      Too bad he didn’t have a pink pen or he could have included a penis, and then not even the judges from China could ignore the effort…

      Jun 10, 2009 at 2:48 pm   rating: +9  

       
    • #3.8   park rose

      …diamond dogs are poachers and they hide behind trees,

      or behind hula dancers, depending upon what’s available at the time.

      It’s the year of the scavenger and the season of the bitch…

      after all.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:32 pm   rating: +6  

       
     
  • #4   Steve

    It’s true: The were-hula dancer is the mascot for Passive Aggressive Dining.

    Jun 9, 2009 at 10:52 pm   rating: +17  

    • #4.1   Lisa

      I experienced a feeling of pure, unadulterated hatred for your roommate, after reading your explanation, then the note. Shack up with the pizza guy, lose the roommate!

      Jun 9, 2009 at 10:59 pm   rating: +26  

       
    • #4.2   zombieBlanco

      And I, I experienced a feeling of pure, unadulterated love for aforesaid roommate. Do you understand how difficult it is to be truly passive-aggressive armed only with a black marker and a sheet of flowery hula-girl shopping list paper?

      Jun 9, 2009 at 11:09 pm   rating: +46  

       
    • #4.3   TheOldSchool

      Hang on. That’s not Trader Joe’s brand flowery hula-girl shopping lis paper, is it?

      If so, I hope it was the personal property of the note writer, and it didn’t belong to the pizza-eater.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 11:51 pm   rating: +8  

       
    • #4.4   much to my chagrin

      That’s not TJ’s brand paper. You can tell because it’s obviously riddled with artificial colors and preservatives.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:24 pm   rating: +6  

       
    • #4.5   Snippy

      For some reason, a lot of people here seem to think Trader Joe’s sells nothing but natural, organic, and macrobiotic products. It’s not all tie-dyed health food sold by and for hippies.

      The employees do wear Hawaiian shirts, and the frequent bell ringing can get annoying, but it’s not the strictly-for-health-food-snobs store you seem to think it is.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:28 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #4.6   N/A

      Very true. It’s actually pretty hard to find anything truly healthy at a trader joes. 90% of what they sell is total junk food. I go there once in a while because there are a few things worth buying (good prices on tofu and shelf stable lunches for stowing at work) but there’s very little I buy there because I just don’t eat that much processed junk food.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:53 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #4.7   much to my chagrin

      But I do know that everything with a TJ’s label is made without artificial colors, flavors, preservatives, and GMOs. I didn’t say “healthy.”

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:52 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #4.8   MissMelony

      Trader Joe’s describes itself as “your neighborhood” or “your unique grocery store”. Products sold include gourmet foods, organic foods, vegetarian food, unusual frozen foods, imported foods, domestic and imported wine and beer (where local law permits), “alternative” food items, and basics like bread, cereal, eggs, dairy, coffee and produce. Non-food items include personal hygiene products, household cleaners, vitamins, pet food, plants, and flowers.

      Trader Joe’s sells many items from any of several of its own private labels. Such labels are quirkily named in accordance to the ethnicity of the food in question, such as Trader Jose’s (Mexican food), Trader Ming’s (Asian food), Baker Josef’s (bagels), Trader Giotto’s (Italian food), Trader Joe-San (Japanese food), Arabian Joe’s (Middle Eastern food), JosephBrau (beer), Trader Johann’s (lip balm), Trader Jacque’s (imported French soaps), Joe’s Diner (certain frozen entrees), Joe’s Kids (children’s food), and Trader Darwin’s (vitamins). By selling almost all of its products under its own label, Trader Joe’s “skips the middle man” and buys directly from both local and international small-time vendors.

      Trader Joe’s promises that anything with a “Trader Joe’s” logo contains no artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives, contains no MSG or trans fats, and is sourced from non-genetically modified ingredients

      ….yea i just had to look it up

      Still doesn’t sound like your friendly neighborhood market… and if it wasn’t so expensive and the like why did she choose to mention the cost of the food in the note… is it just there to make us feel extra sad for her?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 8:41 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #4.9   Snippy

      Oh, fer crying out loud…. :roll:

      Listen, MissMelonhead, Trader Joe’s is a friendly neighborhood market, and many of the grocery and nongrocery items that they carry are not expensive. (Perhaps the submitter thought that telling us how much she had spent would make the story more interesting.) But by all means, ignore those of us who have actually shopped there and go with your intuition.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:03 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #4.10   MissMelony

      I have shopped there, an pardon my appreciation for more family friendly prices… perhaps my view of expensive and yours are at odds, but name calling is very juvenile… and of course on called for… so is assuming i had never shopped there.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:20 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #4.11   Snippy

      Sorry, MM. :? It is true that one person’s idea of reasonable prices can be higher than another’s. As for my assumption that you had not shopped there yourself, that was prompted by the final paragraph of your comment @4.8, where you seemed to be theorizing about what TJ’s is and is not.

      I will also confess to having grown irritable over the snide comments of others in this thread criticizing TJ’s and those who shop there. I should not have taken it all out on you.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:40 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #4.12   MissMelony

      no worries babe… i understand your frustration. Personally I only go to TJ for the Two buck Chuck :) and the cliff bars

      Jun 11, 2009 at 5:36 am   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #5   Harry

    The animal with the stylised LAME made me crack up so bad.

    Jun 9, 2009 at 11:01 pm   rating: +15  

    • #5.1   Moshi

      Me too. Oh man.

      Jun 9, 2009 at 11:57 pm   rating: +3  

       
     
  • #6   AG

    Is is wrong that my only reaction to this is revulsion at the thought of how disgusting this costly, precious Trader Joe’s pizza must have been?

    Jun 9, 2009 at 11:21 pm   rating: +15  

    • #6.1   Lazlo

      Trader Joe’s pizza dough is delicious. So yes, it is wrong, but not in an ethical sense.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:52 am   rating: +12  

       
    • #6.2   Kalakalot

      Dude, why the TJ hate? I can see how the hyperactive staff and and frequent bell-ringing might annoy people who prefer a more somber grocery shopping experience, but calling TJ’s goods “disgusting” is a little overdramatic.

      As for expense, pizza dough (enough for one large pizza or three to four small ones) is $1.49 at my local TJ’s, and another $7 or so buys a nice selection of toppings (with plenty of leftovers.) It’s not the cheapest meal out there, sure, but “costly” and “precious”? You’d spend more on a fast food meal for two.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:50 pm   rating: +20  

       
    • #6.3   mamason

      The TJ’s I shop at has lower prices than the Shopper’s Food Warehouse across the street, plus I can get the most excellent, primo weed from any of the bagboys! Dude… one stop shopping at it’s awesomest!

      Jun 10, 2009 at 4:19 pm   rating: +14  

       
     
  • #7   The Rev. Ug

    amazing that the roommate hadn’t burned through that pad of shopping lists yet, huh?

    Jun 9, 2009 at 11:43 pm   rating: +10  

    • #7.1   Eric

      I wanna burn them…

      burn em ALLLLLL!

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:03 pm   rating: +4  

       
     
  • #8   TheOldSchool

    I predict sean and the notewriter will be the couple before the remaining products from the TJ shopping spree are digested.

    Jun 9, 2009 at 11:57 pm   rating: +5  

     
  • #9   K-Rock

    INSPIRING! i love this guy. is he single? (thx for posting!!!)

    Jun 10, 2009 at 12:01 am   rating: +2  

    • #9.1   fluffy8u

      No, but this guy. is.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:32 am   rating: +12  

       
     
  • #10   zenvelo

    just goes to show, the best art comes from hungry artists…

    Jun 10, 2009 at 12:26 am   rating: +19  

    • #10.1   mamason

      He’s hungry like the wolf.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 4:22 pm   rating: +14  

       
     
  • #11   bikerbabeee

    Uber-dork actually drew a large pink penis growing from hula girl’s head first, but, then wimped out and created the black dog thing to cover it up.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 12:27 am   rating: +11  

     
  • #12   Neeners

    This note is gross. I am envisioning everyone huddled in a corner of their cavelike dwelling sharing and eating shit. Maybe dressed in rags like zombies or animal pelts like cavemen. All grunting (’meh and yeah’) and exchanging excremental goodness. There is no door slamming in a cave though.

    I think these people may be a little challenged in certain social etiquette. Why the hell would the roommate cross out you in the note? Any significance to the howling wolf drawing? And who puts IOU’s in a fridge? Everyone knows if anyone asks, you plead innocent and say it had to be thrown out because it was bad. Maybe the door slamming roommate is upset because they had a little something going on at one point. Who knows? Mysteries unsolved.

    Even if the roommate is a mooch, I bet he would have shared his soy protein and rice pizza with them had he made one.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 12:37 am   rating: +12  

    • #12.1   zombieBlanco

      “dressed in rags like zombies”

      no, no you did’nt

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:22 am   rating: +12  

       
    • #12.2   Neeners

      oops sorry, my bad! I meant nice intelligent zombies with good social skills and excellent fashion sense!

      Jun 10, 2009 at 10:06 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #12.3   Fresca

      “Why the hell would the roommate cross out you in the note?”

      Because “you” didn’t make the pizza– “your” boyfriend Sean did. Angry roommate is emphasizing the fact that “you” didn’t even make the pizza you’re griping about him wanting to eat.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 10:12 am   rating: +10  

       
    • #12.4   aaa

      But it was made out of the groceries she bought. Maybe “somebody” needs to “read” the “description” better before “hinting” about “somebody else’s” poor “reading” “comprehension” skills in a “passive” aggressive manner. “” ;D

      Jun 10, 2009 at 10:17 am   rating: +27  

       
    • #12.5   MsDolfinn

      Does it specify that it was a she who bought the groceries? I was thinking it was a guy because of the uber-bachelor roommate and the fact that it’s San Francisco. :?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:03 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #12.6   aaa

      He, she, it, they, does it really matter what’s going on between the legs? I just used “she” for convenience’s sake. :D

      Jun 10, 2009 at 2:05 pm   rating: +6  

       
    • #12.7   Snippy

      Is that you, Claw?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 2:09 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #12.8   Neeners

      Maybe they should have used y’all then to include both the grocery buyer and the pizza maker. Let me get out my red pen and mark it wrong.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 7:14 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #13   AuntyBron

    I thought it looked like a wolf that was pooping out a hula girl. I’m thinking wolfie needs more fiber in his diet.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 12:54 am   rating: +14  

    • #13.1   fluffy8u

      He should try eating Mini Wheats, or at least humans who eat Mini Wheats.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:36 am   rating: +7  

       
    • #13.2   Neeners

      The hula skirt was the fiber.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 10:13 am   rating: +9  

       
     
  • #14   Bradley

    This reminds me of a guy I had as a roommate for a year. I would come home from work and cook and because it’s hard to cook for one I’d usually have enough for two and I didn’t mind sharing.

    The problem: After doing the cooking and more often than not the buying, I’d ask him to take care of the dishes. He’d agree, but then he’d leave them in the sink unwashed. The next day I’d ask him about it and he’d tell me that he just hadn’t gotten around to it yet.

    The bigger problem: There were only so many pots and pans in the kitchen, so I’d wind up washing the stuff just so I could use it to cook it again.

    The solution: This behavior continued (as I’d already fucked up and set a precedent for it) until he got a girlfriend that moved in. At that time, we met in the middle and dumped all further dish washing on her, regardless of who cooked and who bought the food.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 3:27 am   rating: +2  

    • #14.1   omoshiroi

      My husband – and I’ve heard quite a few other husbands/bfs – tend to do this. Far too often. Is it a backwards way to end up not doing them?

      Can I borrow the girlfriend? Or maybe I should wait until he gets a girlfriend too.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:49 am   rating: +6  

       
    • #14.2   Bradley

      Seems like you have some pent up frustration. Traumatic experience you’d like to share?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 4:47 am   rating: +1  

       
    • #14.3   Neeners

      Sounds like my teenage son ‘just haven’t gotten around to it yet’. This could mean anywhere from tomorrow or a year from now. It really means they know you will do it when you get sick of it or they do such a crappy job you never ask them to do it again. Kind of like when you ask for a back rub from your significant other.

      Bradley, surely you didn’t pawn off the dishwashing duties on the girlfriend just because she had breasts? That’s so wrong. Like assuming all women can and should cook or that because they have the equipment they should all be moms.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 10:20 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #14.4   Bradley

      Exactly! (About your lazy teenage son)

      And no, I didn’t. I just said that so I could sound cool. She wound up doing the dishes for her turn and the other guy’s turns though. If I were to dump it off on her though, it wouldn’t be for boobs; it would be for ass.

      And all women shouldn’t cook. No. Some women shouldn’t even be allowed near kitchens. I’ve met some women that really believed they were good cooks and would serve food to friends and family that was horrid, and no one had the heart to break their hearts.

      Thank God my wife can cook!

      Oh, and because women have the equipment, they should all be moms, because guys just can’t do that yet.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:07 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #14.5   Devika

      Your story reminds me of my last apartment. I lived with 2 dudes, and one random day they decided talk to me about how washing the dishes. I rarely ate at home, but I was also curious about why didn’t they ever wash the dishes if it bothered them. That’s when one of them declared that since he keeps all of his dirty dishes in his bedroom, he shouldn’t ever have to wash any dishes in the sink. Thankfully I left that apartment less than 2 months later.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:21 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #14.6   Bradley

      Sounds like both of them were pretty disgusting. My wife and I lived with ‘friends’ for a while. They would cook and then leave their pan or pot sitting wherever they last touched it for weeks at a time. Then they would use our pots and pans so they wouldn’t have to wash theirs, and would wait for someone to wash something before cooking again. One of them even asked a guest that flew in from another country to wash a pot so he could cook with it. I mean… WTF?

      Anyways, my wife and I got tired of this and wound up washing our dishes in the master bathroom (because we had the master bedroom of course) and we stored them in a cabinet in the room. That way, there was no question about who used them last, and we knew they would always be ready for our use without having to clean up after someone else first.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 2:13 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #14.7   aaa

      My douchey ex-rommates left nasty-ass messes all over the kitchen for weeks at a time (dirty dishes, food splattered all over the stove, crumbs on the floor from eating my food without my permission), and then had the gall to get pissed at me for not cleaning up after them. Thank David Bowie I no longer have roommates….

      Jun 10, 2009 at 2:21 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #14.8   mamason

      Wow! Washing the dishes in the bathroom,nasty-ass messes…

      Between Bradley and aaa, the fecal mist is out of control.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 4:29 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #14.9   Beanster

      i have to go into my room mates room if i want to use a fork, because every fork we own is encrusted in her week old macaroni and cheese.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:19 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #14.10   Mark

      That’s not mac and cheese. :shock:

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:22 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #14.11   Snippy

      She’s lying when she says it’s “weak, old mac’n'cheese.” Your roommate needs to see a doctor about that discharge…. ’cause it ain’t honorable.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:24 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #14.12   Neeners

      Bradley, your right but what about this guy?

      http://www.malepregnancy.com/mingwei/

      Jun 10, 2009 at 7:34 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #14.13   MAMARILLA2

      The key word here is (not earth-friendly) paper/styrofoam plates,bowls, cups and plastic utensils…Then the only thing to wash is the cooking pots. If you can’t get them to wash a dish, guilt them with the distruction of the earth.

      Jun 14, 2009 at 2:06 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #15   SuperMe

    that hula dancer has the biggest, most dog-like head i’ve ever seen outside of a big dog-like dog.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 3:42 am   rating: +9  

     
  • #16   SuperMe

    lame dog is lame

    Jun 10, 2009 at 3:43 am   rating: +7  

     
  • #17   Eila

    Who cares that the submitter bought $50 worth of groceries at Trader Joe’s? I work there and the way people act about us is so ridiculous and pathetic. Most of the people that shop there get on my nerves and judging from the backstory of this note, these people fit the mold.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 4:29 am   rating: +19  

    • #17.1   Bradley

      From personal experience and from my wife’s experience, it doesn’t matter what type of customer service you’re in, or where you’re doing it; people are always assholes to you. They always talk to you as if they’re doing you a favor or something, and as if they’re the only person that you have to attend to for the day. You probably know what I mean.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 4:49 am   rating: +18  

       
    • #17.2   CS harmonikah

      That was one of the first things i noticed too. When people complain about their food being taken, if it’s from Trader Joe’s they always name-drop the store.

      You never see notes on here about someone drinking their milk they bought at Kroger or Wegmans or anything.

      I’m not a fan of pretentiousness with my groceries.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 8:34 am   rating: +22  

       
    • #17.3   Bradley

      You know, that’s true. I actually hardly ever see the words Kroger or Wegmans on the internet at all.

      I’ve only seen one Trader Joe’s in passing, in NYC. What’s so special about it?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 9:09 am   rating: +2  

       
    • #17.4   claw71

      The best thing about Trader Joe’s is that you don’t see the sort of people who frequent Kroger and Wegmans shopping there. You know what I’m talking about, that 40 year-old woman wearing the Dale Jr. T-shirt who is barely watching her three beady-eyed brats with dirty faces and UFC-inspired mohawks. They act like inbred spider monkeys and her best parenting tactic is to scream “Ya’ll wait ’til I tell yer daddy how you wuz misbee-hay-vin at da store!”

      Yeah Trader Joes is much better. You don’t end up stuck in line behind some woman curlers trying to pass expired “Q-pons” either.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 9:22 am   rating: +21  

       
    • #17.5   HappyNat

      Plus at Trader Joes you can’t see the marked up prices because of the smug cloud coming from all the shopppers.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 9:41 am   rating: +46  

       
    • #17.6   Uncle Darwin

      “the sort of people who frequent Krogers and Wegmans” — jeez, Claw71, judgy much??

      Wegmans rocks! Best grocery store in the world.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 10:20 am   rating: +10  

       
    • #17.7   aaa

      I see you’re new to Passive Aggressive Notes, Uncle Darwin. Just remember, don’t take anything seriously on here. Especially anything claw says. That beef-witted, flap-mouthed rapscallion. :D

      Jun 10, 2009 at 10:24 am   rating: +13  

       
    • #17.8   Beth

      Heck, I don’t care if it’s $30 worth from Walmart, it’s still annoying behavior. I’ve had too many housemates who were more than willing to eat the food hubby and I buy but not replace it (or pay for it), or cook, or do dishes… At times we’ve had to resort to putting our names on the food we buy and the meals we fix. In one case, heaven forbid we should eat any of the cereal he bought – he’s okie dokie with eating our groceries, but turn it around and he’d flip out. Though he was just a total asshat – he made an agreement with my mother-in-law to leave some stuff at the house and pay her for storing it. He hasn’t sent money in a couple of months, nor has he come to get his stuff, nor has he put in a change of address – she still gets his bills and overdraft notices. I keep saying to box his crap and put it at the curb, but that’s apparently out of the question (he’s her nephew, but I don’t see why that should make a difference).

      Erm… Sorry, apparently I had some pent-up anger. Anyhow… Trader Joe’s or Walmart – if you’re not ponying-up for the groceries you use, don’t get bent out of shape when you’re told “no”.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 10:40 am   rating: +6  

       
    • #17.9   Heather

      Hey! Leave Kroger alone — where I live, it is the high end market. I have to shop there and Target to get away from the trash at the local “wals-mart.” We’re lucky if their Dale Jr. shirt doesn’t have a huge hole in the front where her lack of bra is showing as she screams at the oldest 3 and drags the toddling two around by the fingers. Oh the joys of intellect in the deep South.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 10:48 am   rating: +5  

       
    • #17.10   Bradley

      So, I kinda get the feeling that what you’re trying to tell me is that Trader Joe’s is sort of like the Starbucks of grocery stores?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:12 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #17.11   claw71

      Of course Heather failed to mention that most people from her neck of the woods call it “Krogerz” for some reason. They do it in Ohio too. I’m go’ntada KrogerZ to git some pop.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:13 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #17.12   aaa

      Now, where I’m from (Go Ohio/Kentucky! Except not really!) only the Kroger in the ghetto neighborhood gets called Krogerz. The nice one in the overpriced neighborhood fifteen minutes in the other direction gets made fun of for catering to the snooty people who always seem to be walking their expensive rat-dogs.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:24 am   rating: +5  

       
    • #17.13   CS harmonikah

      I tried going to Trader Joe’s once and then started getting groceries from Walmart immediately.

      I don’t like being around pretentious yuppies and hipsters.
      And i hate being around white trash and their litters of children equally.
      But what i hate the most is paying 3x more for milk.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:43 am   rating: +9  

       
    • #17.14   Meesh

      If you think Trader Joes is expensive, you should visit a Whole Foods. That’s where rich suburban moms buy their darlings cruelty-free tofu and oat-free oatmeal. Comparatively speaking, the people at Trader Joes are dirty barely clothed hippies. I mean, TJs sells “Two-Buck Chuck;” how exclusive could it be?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:26 pm   rating: +12  

       
    • #17.15   ClickClack

      Yes, by all means, stay out of Trader Joe’s!
      Shop somewhere else, please! Anywhere else, in fact!
      That way, there will be fewer of you clods in my way when I am there purchasing the numerous fine products I enjoy, many of which are not carried at other stores — at prices that are competitive with, if not superior to, those at the more mainstream grocery stores in southern CA.

      Stay the hell out of the parking lot, too, ya whining oafs.
      (An oaf of bread, a jug of whine…)

      “Pretentious yuppies and hipsters”?!? :roll:

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:43 pm   rating: +12  

       
    • #17.16   much to my chagrin

      I work at TJ’s and I know the milk is expensive, but most of the stuff is cheaper than at other grocery stores. The customers, though, Jesus Christ. We don’t get many white trash assholes with 10 kids, but the batshit crazy people seem to flock to us. All day I listen to people’s conspiracy theories, herbal remedies for diarrhea, reasons why one should use organic tampons, “can I buy your recycling bin?” etc. All the while I’m wondering, “where are these people’s handlers?”

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:47 pm   rating: +20  

       
    • #17.17   MsDolfinn

      @ Claw: Hey now! I work part-time at Kroger’s and I’ll have you know that I don’t hardly ever wear my Dale Jr shirt. That shit is saved for special occasions like a wedding or a kegger. You can’t just be wearing your Dale Jr. shirt to the grocery store. Geez!

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:59 pm   rating: +13  

       
    • #17.18   ClickClack

      Hey, I share my shirt with you all the time, but I can’t ask for a nibble of some shirt you Sean wear?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:06 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #17.19   claw71

      If you own a Dale Jr. shirt (or any NASCAR crap) weddings are keggers.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:11 pm   rating: +15  

       
    • #17.20   oi!

      huh all this shit about grocery? It is grocery for the fuck’s sake. You buy it from the store you happen to see it. you don’t go reading reviews on yelp to buy grocery!
      and the complain about you see people in grocery store that is like complaining about smell in the lion ’s cage. so grocery stores are new vacation attractions or what? you spend there days so you care about people in front of your line. oh ok.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:25 pm   rating: +9  

       
    • #17.21   Snippy

      RE: 17.20 – What?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 2:04 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #17.22   Bradley

      Whole Foods has good cookies. I wasn’t impressed with anything else in there. Not for the prices they were charging anyways.

      As for Trader Joe’s, it really does sound like the Starbucks of grocery stores. I’ll do what I did with my coffee and go local.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 2:20 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #17.23   T to the O

      I love TJ’s and there is a little bit of what everyone has already said at my Local TJ’s Snobby “slap the smug off of them” hipsters. Bat-shit crazy, poo rolling, side show freaks. Half naked, baloney titted, pachouli smelling, dirty hippies. Middle class folks that just want cheap wine, unique food items and competitively priced goods.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:06 pm   rating: +8  

       
    • #17.24   Clumber

      #17.7 aaa, why the HELL did no one tell ME that. Claw scares the beejeebees outta’ me. And usually I have to pay good $$$ for that…

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:06 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #17.25   anglophile

      @Meesh: I’m so glad someone’s finally making cruelty-free tofu. I assume it is made from soybeans which have fallen to the ground naturally. I don’t know about you, but every time I see tofu, all I can think about is the moment the thresher enters the field and the terrible, heart-rending screams of the panicked soybeans. How can anyone with a soul eat tofu after thinking about that?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:24 pm   rating: +13  

       
    • #17.26   Meesh

      Glo, your description is bone chilling. That’s exactly why cruelty-free tofu is actually people.

      PEEEEPUUUUULLLL

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:47 pm   rating: +7  

       
    • #17.27   oi!

      to snippy: meh.
      (I expressed more than one idea in there what are you whating me about)

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:59 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #17.28   N/A

      Clearly anyone who thinks trader joes is affordable doesn’t know how to read a price tag. Sure there are some things that are cheaper but they’re the things that are insanely overpriced to being with e.g. $4 for an Amy’s pizza instead of $7. I used to do some shopping there when I was working there but even with the employee discount it was almost always cheaper to buy stuff elsewhere.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 4:00 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #17.29   Proud American

      I don’t know why it’s wrong for me to make nasty comments about blacks and jews but OK for you to make fun of people who like NASCAR and use coupons.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 4:29 pm   rating: +6  

       
    • #17.30   Mark

      P-A, Shut up you damn kike nigger. Go back to your moolie synagogue.

      N/A, I do, in fact, know how to read a price tag. And I disagree with you on this point about almost everything that TJ’s sells.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 4:34 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #17.31   claw71

      I make fun of everybody, PA. Blacks and Jews included. The secret is I don’t do it from behind a white hood while I’m setting fire to a wooden cross. Now get back to your trailer! I hear tell that the Dollar Saver is coming todday.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 4:40 pm   rating: +16  

       
    • #17.32   CS harmonikah

      I don’t know why it’s wrong for me to make nasty comments about blacks and jews but OK for you to make fun of people who like NASCAR and use coupons.

      umm….holding lines vs blatant racism…..
      The difference between an illogical, unfounded hatred toward someone for something outside of their control, and being irritated by a certain behavior.

      Using your logic, the nazi’s were the same as a group of people that dont want to be around smokers or children while dining.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 4:59 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #17.33   mamason

      Hello. Judgey McJudgerson’s, this is Marsha. Who can I help you ridicule today? Would you like to hear about our special on fat christians? No? How about southern inbreeding? We’ll throw in a couple of fat christians for free. Yes. There’s a bit of an overlap. No. No pun intended.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:12 pm   rating: +12  

       
    • #17.34   agatha clemens

      I once definitely put a “do not use my cheese!” note on a package of Kroger cheese when a roommate of mine opened a new package that I had just bought and used half of it.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:21 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #17.35   anglophile

      What have you got good in the European category today, Marsha? Any smug Scandinavians or perhaps a couple of freshly-caught Poles? I could go for a nice rich Italian as well, if you have any that aren’t too saucy.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:26 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #17.36   mamason

      Oh, we have some smelly, hairy, rude French or here’s something I think might interest you… how about some crazy Brits with bad teeth?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:44 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #17.37   much to my chagrin

      @17.22 Brad: Saying that Trader Joe’s is the Starbucks of grocery stores didn’t get you any thumbs up the 1st time you said it, so chances are it won’t get you any the second time, either.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 8:43 pm   rating: +6  

       
    • #17.38   ClickClack

      Yes, it seems he’s a man of few words.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 8:44 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #17.39   TheOldSchool

      Claw,

      I been bakin’ in my trailer, waitin’ all day for the letter carrier. There weren’t no dollar saver. Sheeeit.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 8:57 pm   rating: +7  

       
    • #17.40   TheOldSchool

      ClickClack,

      There’s nothing wrong with being that way. Some folks just is.

      I’m a man of few words. And even fewer thoughts.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 9:09 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #17.41   oi!

      tell me one thing TOS, are you trying to get a reaction?
      congratulations!

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:03 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #17.42   TheOldSchool

      oi,

      Words mean little to me: thoughts, even less.

      What is my prize?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:07 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #17.43   oi!

      your prize is my reaction!

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:18 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #17.44   TheOldSchool

      If I print it out and take it to Trader Joe’s, do you think they’ll give me one of their hula girl notepads for free?

      By the way, you probably hear this all the time, but your avatar looks like the rightful head to the hula girl’s torso.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:31 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #17.45   oi!

      I dont know what to do with your comment, hell if I ever know.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:57 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #18   Griffen P.

    Lolz! That pizza was fucking delicious!!

    ROFLMAOLAO!!!!

    Jun 10, 2009 at 4:48 am   rating: +4  

    • #18.1   Mishee

      That ass you are laughing off looks great in a Unitard…

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:04 pm   rating: +16  

       
     
  • #19   Taylor

    “i countered with ‘meh,’”

    the single most annoying part of this whole tale (of course, feeling the need to point out the store you shop at is pretty obnoxious too).
    but COUNTERED with “meh”? sounds like a pair of passive-aggressive roommates.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 6:47 am   rating: +31  

    • #19.1   Meesh

      I couldn’t agree more. “Meh” is not an answer to a question. The submitter clearly didn’t want him eating the pizza, so he/she should have said “No.” Team roommate.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 9:01 am   rating: +10  

       
    • #19.2   MissMelony

      Agreed. She sounds a bit pretentious and as a previous posted stated the pizza probably tasted like shyt anyway… Team roomate… The name dropping/price sharing is uncalled for.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 9:28 am   rating: +5  

       
    • #19.3   aaa

      They both sound annoying/passive aggressive/douchey/miserable to be around. Team aaa. Because I’m awesome.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 10:45 am   rating: +8  

       
    • #19.4   Craniac

      I’m unfamiliar with this term “meh”. What is it? The new “no”? Or is she unable to speak English and can only mumble. She must have mumbled because she had pizza in her mouth. But how did roomie know that “meh” meant “no”? There’s a big linguistic mystery here, I feel, that hasn’t been uncovered.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:31 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #19.5   aaa

      There’s a whole Wikipedia article on the phenomenon of “meh.”

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meh

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:45 am   rating: +8  

       
    • #19.6   Mishee

      Meh= one of the cromulent additions to the English language made popular by The Simpsons.

      Oh, what those Simpsons have done for us. Is there anything they can’t do??

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:05 pm   rating: +10  

       
    • #19.7   aaa

      Well, the newer episodes are all preachy and suck balls, so it seems that the Simpsons can totally suck hardcore, too!

      *sigh* I really miss when the Simpsons were good…

      Jun 10, 2009 at 2:08 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #19.8   CS harmonikah

      I think the Simpsons is taken for granted because they’ve been around for so long.

      And the level of quality (or lack thereof) on tv has to be considered. The absolute worst Simpsons episodes are still better than the best episodes of 90% of the rest of the crap on tv.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 4:48 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #19.9   mamason

      “the newer episodes are all preachy and suck balls”

      Sounds like The Simpsons have converted to Catholicism.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:22 pm   rating: +15  

       
    • #19.10   aaa

      The Simpsons ran into the same problem that a lot of long-running series run into. They run out of good ideas for plots and turn to making fun of pop culture and current events. The same thing happened with King of the Hill, South Park, and Family Guy (although that one wasn’t so good in the first place). Hell, even children’s shows aren’t immune. I have no idea why Spongebob’s voice is so child-molestery now, but it scares the bejeebers out of me.

      “The absolute worst Simpsons episodes are still better than the best episodes of 90% of the rest of the crap on tv”

      Eh, I might have to disagree with you on that one. I’d rather watch a brainless reality show than yet another episode of whatever making fun of Apple/Microsoft, George Bush (I’m guessing we’re going to see ones making fun of Obama pretty soon), or whatever the internet fad du jour is. It’s not unreasonable to expect a show to at least maintain a similar level of quality throughout its run. That’s why I’m usually more fond of shorter-lived shows; they have a definite end and die a dignified death before they resort to lazy plots.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:54 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #19.11   TheOldSchool

      How could anyone have a bad word to say about Mr. Krabs, Patrick, Squidward, or SpongeBob?

      I thought I understood you, aaa.

      Now … I’m … just … not … so … sure.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:27 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #20   Woman on the Verge

    That poor dog has an oversized head and a tiny body with puny legs because he is malnourished. Rice and soy protein taste like ass (which is why they are untouched) and poor Wolfie is literally lame due to starvation.

    That is not a threatening illustration, it is the cartoon equivalent of the Indian crying a single tear.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 6:48 am   rating: +30  

    • #20.1   Clumber

      DING DING DING! You win my vote for “Owner of teh intertubes of the day”

      …and i thumbed ya’ too… hope it was gentle enough?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:10 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #20.2   mamason

      *wonders why WotV knows what ass tastes like* 8-O

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:23 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #20.3   Woman on the Verge

      Mamason, honey, trust me, you don’t wanna know.
      Clumber, thanks so much dear… the thumbing was just right.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:59 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #21   stickman

    meh

    Jun 10, 2009 at 7:16 am   rating: +11  

     
  • #22   cam

    And clearly he wouldn’t have understood the justification behind your extreme arsiness with him, as you had never actually bothered to speak to him about it. BTW ‘meh’ doesn’t exactly explain your reasoning in a cool, considerate, informative manner.

    Do you like drama? Are you waiting for him to mess up, encouraging it? Is it fun to play house with your BF whilst excluding your rent paying housemate? Is greasy food so superiour to healthy stuff that if he offers it, it doesn’t count because YOU don’t like it? Are you sure HE is the passive-agressive one?

    Jun 10, 2009 at 7:16 am   rating: +23  

     
  • #23   CS harmonikah

    There really needs to be a PAN gallery/museum somewhere.
    This note is a piece of art. Adding the wolf head to the flowery hula-dancer pad is an incredible metaphor for this roommate who is trying to carve out his own identity and place in a house with a female roommate but having no idea how to do it properly.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 8:28 am   rating: +3  

    • #23.1   Snayl

      Hmmm… for some reason I automatically imagined this couple as two men. Perhaps I’m stereotyping the San Francisco, Trader Joe’s shopping lifestyle.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:19 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #23.2   CS harmonikah

      I guess i based it on how girly the notepad was. But i can see the argument to that now.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 4:51 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #24   claw71

    Can I ask a serious question?

    Who the fuck says “meh”? I don’t even know what that means. I thought it was a sound that expressed disinterest, a verbal shrug if you will, but this submitter apparently has taken it to new levels and turned it into an expression of disagreement. Or so she would have us believe.

    Personally, I’ve never used “meh” as an expression. I’ve not keyed it in a text message and when I see it used I generally think much less of the person who employed it. “Meh.” Fuck you, you emo dweeb. Use your words! God knows you’ve taken enough college classes, without earning a meaningful degree I might add, so fucking tap into your vocabulary.

    The only person in this whole situation I respect is Sean, who has the good sense to hit it and quit it. He comes over, makes a pizza, watches a movie and taps that selfish ass but in the morning he wakes up in his own bed while “meh” and mooch battle over who owes what to whom.

    Team Sean and his doughy Trader Joe’s pizza.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 9:09 am   rating: +60  

    • #24.1   MissMelony

      Man I love you… ( a thumbs up just wasn’t enough :) )

      Jun 10, 2009 at 9:32 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #24.2   Julie

      I always thought meh was an expression of indifference so I am confused about its application as a “counter” here.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:48 am   rating: +3  

       
    • #24.3   Kellye

      Claw, you hit the nail on the head.

      The fourth circle of hell is reserved for kitten stompers and moochers, but if my roommate ever said “meh” to me in response to any unassuming question, I would want to peg that bitch with a tin of anchovies.

      And besides that, everyone knows that pizza is, by nature, a communal meal. That note is kickassery, because bogarting PIZZA, of all things, is howlingly lame. LAME.

      Team Bachelor for me, as he is much less passive-aggressive than his selfish roomie. If you don’t want to share your Holy Grail Concoction of Pretentious (Probably Organic) Groceries, just say so outright.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:46 pm   rating: +6  

       
    • #24.4   oi!

      to claw: Thanks for writing down my feelings verbatim.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:44 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #24.5   Clumber

      we use it at work quite a bit… but it is a coded reference to either our boss being a flaming idiot, or getting sick of having to walk a user AGAIN through a simple process.

      I guess “coded ref for an idiot” would have been enough… these words.. they just spill out of the fingertips… I can’t make them stop! OH GAWD!

      Team whatever

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:14 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #24.6   anglophile

      Claw, I am ambivalent about your expressed opinions.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:28 pm   rating: +6  

       
    • #24.7   Woman on the Verge

      Claw, I think in this case “meh” was the only response that anonymous could make with his mouth crammed full of pretentious pizza.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:02 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #24.8   ClickClack

      …and pizza chef boyfriend.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:03 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #24.9   MissMelony

      Why do you all think ANON is a guy?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 8:45 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #24.10   TheOldSchool

      MM, because on the majority of our birth certificates, the father is listed as “Anon.”

      Jun 10, 2009 at 9:02 pm   rating: +7  

       
    • #24.11   Diane

      On my birth certificate, I’m listed as “Anon”. Does that make me male?

      Jun 15, 2009 at 12:25 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #25   Canthz_B

    Of course, after these “men” all made up, they listened together to Streisand CDs wearing nothing but shit-eating grins.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 9:16 am   rating: +2  

    • #25.1   ClickClack

      And their dog is named Lamé.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:49 pm   rating: +13  

       
     
  • #26   xenylamine

    $50 of groceries at Trader Joe’s (and Whole Foods, and Wild Oats) is like $25 of groceries bought anywhere else. Someone needs to come out with, “I slaved over the the coupon clipping and it took me three hours at the store and then I convinced them to give me 10% off and I got $75 worth of groceries for only $26.57, and then my worthless roommate ate the discount canned beans that I was saving for a rainy day!”

    /random

    Jun 10, 2009 at 9:22 am   rating: +12  

    • #26.1   Mark

      You obviously don’t know Trader Joe’s very well. Almost everything they sell is CHEAPER (and better quality, IMHO) than Whole Foods or Safeway or Top or QFC or whatever.

      Note that you can tell where I live based on what grocery stores I mention.

      But my point is that Trader Joes is NOT a clone of Whole Foods, it is something else entirely. I don’t know how they do it, but if they have what you need, TJ’s really is cheaper and better than anywhere else.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 10:55 am   rating: +12  

       
    • #26.2   ClickClack

      Yeah, what Mark said, you ignoranuses.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:51 pm   rating: +6  

       
    • #26.3   much to my chagrin

      Not to mention the employees are actually nice :) But I am biased.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:54 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #26.4   Clumber

      Dammit Mark! Now I have to kill you. I was right there with you, nodding like a fool… and then, you called Top Foods by just the 1st 3 letters. And for that you must die. Just like anyone who calls Fred Meyer or Meyer “Freddi…” I can’t even type it.

      You’ll be missed, Sir, but I hope you understand. We can’t make exceptions. Would you like your body buried in the backyard, or burned in the manure pile with the others?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:18 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #26.5   Diane

      Clumber, I also hate people who unnecessarily shorten names of reasonable length. I’d kill him, too. It’s so nice of you to give Mark an option of what he wants done with his body. Check his license- if he’s a donor, make sure you harvest the organs first. If you sell them on the black market, then you can afford to shop at Trader Joe’s.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 12:30 pm   rating: +1  

       
     
  • #27   NewMoon

    This note is not about sharing the pizza at all. The submitter is male. The roommate is jealous and upset about losing his “dirty sanchez” partner. (Notice, from San Francisco, masculinization of hula girl, “lame” a reference to ED) He wanted a “slice” and was hurt by the indifferent response. The “meh” on the pizza box was a comment on the relative appeal of the new boyfriend.
    There you have it: a meh-ta anal-ysis.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 9:56 am   rating: +8  

    • #27.1   ClickClack

      Kneady doughboys.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:52 pm   rating: +7  

       
    • #27.2   park rose

      Gotta knead it to get it to rise.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:44 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #27.3   Meesh

      It has to get nice and yeasty…

      Wait, that’s not sexy.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:51 pm   rating: +4  

       
     
  • #28   aaa

    P.S.

    (Honoes! My comment’s caught in the spam filter! x3)

    Mr. McBachelor’s douchey-ness doesn’t justify the weak, ineffectual, and passive aggressive “Meh.” You’re not Lisa or Bart Simpson and it’s not the 90s anymore. And all adults know better than to think that “Meh” is a good substitute for “Fuck no, you self-serving asshat!”

    Jun 10, 2009 at 9:57 am   rating: +15  

    • #28.1   Mark

      Meh.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 10:55 am   rating: +7  

       
     
  • #29   jenny h

    I think he’s implying that if he isn’t allowed to feast on the leftovers his roommate paid for, he’ll turn into a hula-dancing werewolf, complete with “lame” smoke.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 10:44 am   rating: +3  

     
  • #30   Sarcastraphe

    Ladies and gentlemen you are looking at a note that will eventually be used as state’s evidence.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 10:48 am   rating: +2  

     
  • #31   claw71

    Seriously though, horrific snake-dog head notwithstanding, I’d totally do that hula girl.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 11:14 am   rating: +14  

    • #31.1   amy d

      That totally doesn’t surprise me, Claw. I mean, I ask myself all the time, “Who wouldn’t Claw do?”. I never come up with an answer.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:20 am   rating: +6  

       
    • #31.2   aaa

      Just as a matter of curiosity, would you do a mermaid? I mean, you’ve got a good-looking lady for a top half, but you’ve got a fish for the bottom half. And since fish do the whole external fertilization things (except for sharks, but I haven’t seen very many sharky mermaids…), I don’t think there’s an appropriate input, y’know… Although, I’m sure, being as claw-tastic as you are, you’d probably find a way if you were motivated enough…

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:21 am   rating: +6  

       
    • #31.3   claw71

      aaa, procreation isn’t my intent. All I need is a hole. Any hole will do. Also, I’m not exactly a stranger to the concept of external fertilization…if you know what I mean.

      And, Amy, I do draw the line and you’re on the good side of it.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:35 am   rating: +8  

       
    • #31.4   aaa

      My concern is that there might not be enough hole, y’know. I mean, those fish eggs are freaking tiny!

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:44 am   rating: +5  

       
    • #31.5   ClickClack

      As anyone who has attended his seminars can attest,
      Claw knows how to make an entrance.

      *wonders whether that seventh word should have been
      spelled with an e substituted for the i *

      Jun 10, 2009 at 12:56 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #31.6   claw71

      Claw knows how to make an entrance.

      That’s what she said.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:21 pm   rating: +6  

       
    • #31.7   park rose

      Considering claw’s 31.6 response, CC, you better keep the ‘i’, CC. Or both will do. Those pesky mermaid lovin’ homophones.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:42 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #31.8   ClickClack

      Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 4:02 pm   rating: +3  

       
     
  • #32   haley

    i love this. the pic is of a zoso. zosos are the hounds of hell. also a rad zeppelin and black crowes symbol.

    ITS A ZOSO, MAN.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 11:18 am   rating: +1  

    • #32.1   Sirius¤

      No, Man, Zoso is the byproduct of premium LSD and Jimmy Page’s imagination, circa 30 years before you were born.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:59 am   rating: +4  

       
    • #32.2   ClickClack

      Duuuuude, check it out, the roommate’s PAN has a drawing
      of a Black Dog! It’s all coming together now, maaaannn…..

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:04 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #33   Heywood

    So this is a story of three men, right?

    Jun 10, 2009 at 12:53 pm   rating: +1  

    • #33.1   claw71

      Yeah. One is a cartoonist with a childish sense of humor, another is a serious architect with ill-advised facial hair and the third is a self-absorbed actor who is often on the road.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:20 pm   rating: +9  

       
    • #33.2   oi!

      damn! there is serious Déjà vu going on here. Did you write comment before somewhere too? or it’s just quote from some movie or something?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:32 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #33.3   T to the O

      Why can’t the gays get along? :roll:

      Jun 10, 2009 at 2:56 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #33.4   Clumber

      … and THAT, gentlemen is what inspired me to create this Western Sitcom – “Geta’ long, little Gays, geta’ long”

      Now, who do we think should play the Sheriff?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 3:22 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #33.5   park rose

      Are we back to the dead gray horse?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:47 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #33.6   oi!

      My dead gay horse was red.
      am I supposes to say, not that there is anything wrong with that, yet?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:51 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #33.7   Mishee™

      I LOVE MY DEAD, GAY HORSE!!!

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:53 pm   rating: +6  

       
    • #33.8   ClickClack

      Equus for brekfuss.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:59 pm   rating: +6  

       
    • #33.9   Geek Goddess

      “Here’s a story,
      Of a lovely lady…”

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:20 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #33.10   Snippy

      Catherine The Great?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:26 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #33.11   Sirius¤

      Sarah Jessica Parker?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:33 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #33.12   oi!

      she said lovely lady, sirius

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:36 pm   rating: +5  

       
    • #33.13   park rose

      Pasiphaë?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:55 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #33.14   TheOldSchool

      Rose, wasn’t she more of a cowgirl?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 8:43 pm   rating: +2  

       
    • #33.15   ClickClack

      What a load of bull. :twisted:

      Jun 10, 2009 at 8:43 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #33.16   park rose

      ToS: meh. ;) Whether, bovine or equine I don’t think the moral majority, or even the moral minority, would necessarily approve.

      As for the immoral minority, it might be right up their alley-way, if it were wide enough. The immoral majority, I’ve heard it all depends upon how wide their stance is.

      Oh, and Even cowgirls get the blues. That’s just a shameless but possibly obscure call out for more thumbs. Could I connect it all? Maybe so. It’s a bit like a labyrinth. Maybe hard to follow.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:44 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #34   ClearlyDemented

    I have to say I’m very impressed with Lame’s commitment to the art of passive-aggressive note writing. I mean, in the time taken to draw that little Lame coyote he could have made himself something to eat. But our man, Lame, stands on principle; and I, for one, respect that. If he had been around during the time of our founding fathers — well, actually, I guess he’d be with the British. Never mind.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 12:54 pm   rating: +4  

    • #34.1   oi!

      actually, I guess he’d be with the British. Never mind
      I heart that sentiment.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:01 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #34.2   claw71

      After watching one episode of Blue Collar TV I have since found myself siding with the British and I believe that if Thomas Jefferson had lived to see it, he would have rescinded the Declaration of Independence.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 1:18 pm   rating: +5  

       
     
  • #35   G

    WTF is up with the Luck Dragon?

    Jun 10, 2009 at 1:42 pm   rating: +2  

    • #35.1   Eric

      Half dragon, half dog!

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:39 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #35.2   aaa

      Didn’t luck dragons have whiskers or some shit?

      Also, if I’m remembering correctly, the book version of the luck dragon was way less creepy than the movie version.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:57 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #35.3   Eric

      Let’s hope so, Atreyu… let’s hope so.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:04 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #36   Aurora

    That cartoon wolf looks like he covered up the original doodle of a penis. Ingenious.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 1:50 pm   rating: +2  

     
  • #37   T to the O

    The overly developed sense of entitlement uber douchebag roommate should get prison raped with a pepperoni stick. Before this I am sure he was at home mooching off Mom and Dad. They probably sold the house and hit the road in a Winnebago just to be rid of their mutant developmentally stunted spawn.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 2:55 pm   rating: +4  

    • #37.1   Woman on the Verge

      T, I had to thumb you just for using the phrase “uber douchebag”….

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:06 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #37.2   Neeners

      Wouldn’t that be a waste of a perfectly good pepporoni stick?

      Jun 10, 2009 at 8:58 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #38   surrahsurrah

    Since when is a slice of pizza a nibble?

    “Yea can I get two nibbles of pepperoni and a nibble of plain? Awesome bro!”

    I hate people who try to mooch food. What a fucktard.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 2:59 pm   rating: +8  

     
  • #39   MissMelony

    What i love most about the note is how he scratched out “you” and replaced it with “Sean”… its like an extra dig… apparently Anon cant cook

    Jun 10, 2009 at 4:19 pm   rating: +1  

     
  • #40   oi!

    I am picturing roommate as a manbaby crying because submitter responded with meh! He spent then half an hour drawing wolf on hula girl paper complaining about she does not share! wow! describing this sounds so ridiculous and he did not even feel a pang doing that?

    Jun 10, 2009 at 4:37 pm   rating: +2  

     
  • #41   Amy

    fuck him. It is SO rude to mooch off food a boyfriend made for he and his girlfriend. Have the courtesy to wait until the BF leaves, and if he leaves food there, ask about the pizza. Don’t invite yourself to lunch, douchebag.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: +2  

    • #41.1   Snippy

      Amy, your advice seems flawed somehow: If the woman who submitted the note doesn’t share any of her boyfriend’s homemade pizza with her mooching roommate, he won’t have any energy when she fucks him.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:27 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #41.2   Sirius¤

      Never let malnourishment get in the way of good old roommate-fucking. At least, that’s what the majarishi taught me, back when we shared a cave.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:30 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #41.3   Neeners

      Question is why is she living with Picasso for so long? Two years? She must like something about him because anyone can pay the rent. I’d say it’s his artistic ability but the term ‘uber-bachelor’ makes me think he never wanted to get serious with her.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 7:30 pm   rating: +1  

       
    • #41.4   mamason

      “because anyone can pay the rent”

      Sadly, my pos sil has proven time and again, to be the exception to that rule.

      We hatesssss ‘im!

      Jun 10, 2009 at 7:57 pm   rating: +2  

       
     
  • #42   Eric

    Demonic demigod of Sumerian lore speaking from the fridge? That plot’s been done before.

    LAME

    Jun 10, 2009 at 5:28 pm   rating: +1  

    • #42.1   Mark

      You must choose the form of the (pizza) Destructor.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:36 pm   rating: +4  

       
    • #42.2   Eric

      PIZZA THE HUTT!

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:41 pm   rating: +3  

       
    • #42.3   ClickClack

      Avoid The Noid!

      Jun 10, 2009 at 5:42 pm   rating: +4  

       
     
  • #43   park rose

    If we wander back to the illustration, I think the hula girl might be in need of a lumberjack. Where’s the Axe-man when you ever really need him?

    Jun 10, 2009 at 5:35 pm   rating: +3  

    • #43.1   Eric

      He sleeps all night and he works all day.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 6:47 pm   rating: +6  

       
     
  • #44   oi!

    damn I am sleepy.

    Jun 10, 2009 at 11:13 pm   rating: 0  

    • #44.1   TheOldSchool

      Now you know what the rest of us feel like when we’re sleepy.

      It’s kind of a strange feeling, isn’t it? You don’t feel as energetic. You feel like turning off the lights, laying down, and closing your eyes.

      Maybe that’s just me.

      Jun 10, 2009 at 11:26 pm   rating: +4  

       
     
  • #45   T

    Team Sean. I’m sorry, but if your roommate makes a pizza, and his girlfriend dictates that you can’t have a slice? That’s just kind of a jerk move.

    On top of that, as I’m sure she’ll discover if they move in together, I’m betting the boyfriend is not blameless. He’s probably the kind of jerk who never buys toilet paper or he owes six months of water bills.

    I’m just saying, there’s likely some sort of equilibrium, and you’re disrupting it. That makes you the asshole, not him.

    Jun 11, 2009 at 11:46 am   rating: 0  

    • #45.1   Snippy

      I’m sorry, but you’re not good with details. The scenario you described as a jerk move did not occur. Read the note again.

      Here, let me help you out: The pizza was not made by either of the roommates, but by the boyfriend of the anonymous female roommate who submitted the note written by the moocher male roommate. Got it now?

      And the note submitter and her boyfriend had no obligation to share their food with a moocher roommate who leaves IOU notes when he takes food that he didn’t pay for.

      Jun 11, 2009 at 12:30 pm   rating: +3  

       
     
  • #46   wicked opinion

    What could possibly be MORE entitlement complex, freeloader, always has enough money for Natty Light and cigarettes than the angst of someone who has NOT been wronged in any way?

    Jun 14, 2009 at 1:36 pm   rating: 0  

     
  • #47   kymee

    I have never understood why roommates don’t pool their money together for groceries. I always did with my roomies. I can’t cook anything in small amounts. Pooling funds means more groceries and less waste. And, no hard feelings when one is hungry with no cash at the end of the month.

    People, share and eat together…it’s basic human nature to commune over food.

    Jun 19, 2009 at 1:31 am   rating: 0  

    • #47.1   tom

      Fuck you, hippie!

      Jun 26, 2009 at 7:39 pm   rating: 0  

       
     
  • #48   voidseraph

    the repressed rage in this note is visceral… seems like dude should channel his anger into art? In any case, the vocal “meh” response seems a little PA to me, also.

    Jun 21, 2009 at 2:05 am   rating: 0