Clearly seeking his master’s in diplomacy

June 15th, 2009 · 103 comments

Our anonymous university student in Cambridge, England found this note pinned to the door of his shared house. “The guy who wrote it moved here from America about five weeks ago and is about eight years older than the rest of us in the house. He seems to be a nice guy, but has this strange aggressive side that we are now a little wary of. Last week he cleaned out all the fridges, claiming he had not been offered any space in them, throwing away open food belonging to other people.”

Adds our submitter: “We are a pretty relaxed household and have lived with the mystery soaker for the whole year. It seems a little odd that this guy is making all this fuss so close to the end of term when we will all leave and he will presumably have the house to himself.”

clearly seeking his master's in diplomacy

related: Oxford drama

FILED UNDER: college life · roommates · shower · U.K. · Your mother doesn't...


103 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Jessica

    I love it lol, sad he couldn’t think of anything original, we know his mother doesn’t live there… it’s been done before.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 8:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   park rose bang

      I think he’s pretty original: if you have an issue with my used condom candor, turn around , click your heels together three times and say there’s no place like home (cos’ there ain’t, and your mother doesn’t live here, mfs!!!).

      I’m also picturing someone twirling a condom, clean, filled with something like powder, around their head three times. I think it is the best spell to use when trying to rid the house of evil mystery soakers.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:20 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   crackjob

      Wow. The elusive “your mother doesn’t live here.”

      This is a big day, folks. A big day.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 10:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   anglophile bang

    Wet socks are so irritating.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 8:12 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   TheOldSchool

      If this guy is American, why doesn’t he use some good old fashioned yankee ingenuity and drill some holes in the floor for drainage?

      No. He’d rather write pissy little notes to the lads.

      My guess is that he’s really from Essex and faking the American accent by watching Hugh Laurie.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 4:10 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    Put a towel down for a gallon? Try a mop there, Sparky! Cambridge?

    Jun 15, 2009 at 8:12 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   N/A

      Cambridge is less what you know and more who you know. I know many people who got in to Oxford or Cambridge but only one who actually chose to go there.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   anglophile bang

      Maybe by towel he means a ShamWow!® It holds 12 times its weight in liquid, you know.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:33 am   rating: 43  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Kelly

      But how many dead hookers does it hold?

      Jun 15, 2009 at 9:02 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Goldie

      Sparky?? Why’s my dog supposed to mop the floor after random Cambridge guys?
      He can clean out their fridges, though. His services are not cheap, but he will dispose of their foods and lick the containers clean. He prefers cold cuts. They can make the checks out to me.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 12:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   T imo® bang

      Goldie!!! Is that you? Where have you been? You have been missed.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 12:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   BlackMarketBeagle

      The problem is they don’t understand what a gallon is- he should have said, “approximately 4 litres.”

      Jun 15, 2009 at 1:07 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   fluffy8u

      4 litters?! That’s a lot of puppies!

      Jun 15, 2009 at 9:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   racerx2233

      Sorry I got here late…
      The answer to #3.3 is seven.

      Jun 16, 2009 at 2:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   fluffy8u

      Racer, I take it that this is from experience? I’m just asking because… in the off chance I find myseslf a…rround dead hookers… y’know… gotta do something with them…. and it’s always nice to have a reliable source.

      Jun 16, 2009 at 4:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   racerx2233

      Reliable source = Ben Afleck

      Jun 17, 2009 at 2:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   N/A

    If this guy is so old why does he want to share a house with a bunch of teenagers anyway? If he can afford to come to Cambridge from the US then I’m sure he could stretch to renting a single room or a bed-sit somewhere or I’m sure Cambridge has en-suite dorm rooms available.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 8:13 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   claw71 bang

      Why wouldn’t an old guy want to share a house with a bunch of teenagers?

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   anglophile bang

      I love the British notes. Bed-sit. Delightful.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:56 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   T imo® bang

      I really think that something is lost in the translation.
      Let me try;
      My hovercraft is full of eels! errrm, My nipples explode with delight!

      Jun 15, 2009 at 12:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Sirius¤ bang

      Drop your panties, Sir William; I cannot wait ’til lunchtime!

      Jun 15, 2009 at 1:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   T imo® bang

      I will not buy this record; it is scratched.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 2:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   Wade bang

      Yandelavasa grldenwi stravenka.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 2:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   T imo® bang

      Uhmmmm * scratches head leafs through book
      Akarsz menni vissza a helyére, bouncey bouncey?

      Jun 15, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   fluffy8u

      Oh! I took British in high school. Tuesday, last, I went on a bender in Cardiff, when this bloke started a ruck with a bobbie! Being off my face, I couldn’t watch ’cause I had to chunder. After I engaged in the loo, I made it round back, looked up as saw a flying blue box! “Blimy!” I said. Some tourist looked at me odd. “Put that in your dick’n'arry, ya manky berk!” I yelled. “Don’t get shirty,” he said and moved on… ah well. I looked down at my watch, three-quarters past, time to watch Michaela Strachan on the telly. I’m a bloody Billy-no-mates, ain’t I?

      Jun 15, 2009 at 10:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.9   A Brit

      “three-quarters past” = a quarter to

      Overall though a good effort – B+/A-

      Jun 17, 2009 at 3:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.10   fluffy8u

      I’ve heard both. Billie Pipper says “three-quarters past.” I think it’s a Wiltshire thing. Also, I believe Michaela Strachan is no longer on the BBC. So there’s that. Plus, one really uses cockney anymore.

      Jun 17, 2009 at 4:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   darling

    It’s so sad.
    its people like him who make everyone think that all Americans are like that.

    I swear to you some of us are actually polite!

    Jun 15, 2009 at 8:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   park rose bang

      I swear if he put the ‘u’ back in candour, all would be forgiven ;)

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:26 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Canthz_B bang

      The missing ‘u’ is how they know who wrote it.
      The smoking gun of this screed.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:45 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Snippy

      “I ain’t missing ‘u’ at all!”

      Jun 15, 2009 at 4:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   fluffy8u

      Are you singing John Waite? Snippy, this is neither the time nor the place for British music.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 10:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   park rose bang

    Well, if he’s writing that note in the U.K. they’re just going to think that he is the mystery soak, cos’ ‘pissed’ means to be on the booze, drunk, pickled and so on. At least the Australian derivative does.

    Yeah, yeah, we know you’re pissed. Thanks for stating the bleedin’ obvious. Who let him have the pen again? You know how eloquent he gets when we let him have a shandy or two…

    Jun 15, 2009 at 8:24 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   stickman

    Shame and humiliation will certainly keep the floor dry.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 8:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   park rose bang

      So will not slashing a gallon every time you go to take a piss.

      Mis-reading his handwriting is fun ;)

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Woman on the Verge bang

    Won’t he be sorry when the mystery soaker’s mother does move in? “You asked for it, young man, so you better suck it up!” as she smacks him on the ass with her mop.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 8:29 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   fluffy8u

      I believe you mean “arse.”

      Jun 15, 2009 at 10:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Woman on the Verge bang

    But only towel off a little because I like wet young men wandering the halls….

    Jun 15, 2009 at 8:30 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   claw71 bang

      But the shrinkage!

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      We haven’t seen the heating bill, but I bet it’s like a sauna in there…

      Jun 15, 2009 at 10:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   vertigo29

    Hah, I am a current student at Cambridge and I have the same problem at my college! :)

    Jun 15, 2009 at 8:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   GhostWriter bang

      V___? Hello!?!? You wrote the note; are you mental??

      Jun 15, 2009 at 9:01 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   fluffy8u

      IT’S A “V”?!?! I thought is was a square root sign. I imagined it was a funny nick name or something. Maybe he was a Maths geek. Like √David S. Cohen or something.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 10:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   claw71 bang

    Dear V——:

    I don’t have an issue with your candor and while I believe that you might be overstating the amount of water I left on the bathroom floor, I suppose that I might be a little inconsiderate. I don’t believe that I am stupid, nor do I think I am particularly lazy but those are both valid points. Unfortunately your theory that I’ve developed bad habits because my mother has been following me around with a towel is way off the mark. My mother is dead. She died in a car accident three years ago yesterday. So you can imagine that your note really hit home. I cried when I read it. I miss me mum. She was a brilliant and beautiful woman who was killed by an American student who simply couldn’t be troubled to drive on the appropriate side of the road. An American who, coincidentally, looked a lot like you.

    I’ll be sure to towel off more thoroughly in the future. Not one drop of water will trouble you from now on, but what I won’t wipe up are my tears. Everytime I dry off I’m going to think about my mother and how I’ll never see her again. Thank you for that.

    D——–

    Jun 15, 2009 at 8:47 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Diane

      I’m never gonna live that down, am I?

      Jun 15, 2009 at 12:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   GhostWriter bang

    Just imagine how angry he’s gonna be when he finds my socks soaking in the sink, and accidentally dries his face with my underwear off the towel rack!

    Jun 15, 2009 at 8:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   ChirlyGirly

      Love that movie!

      Jun 17, 2009 at 5:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   GhostWriter bang

    The Guy on the Couch has gone horribly awry.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 9:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   park rose bang

    It’s a cry for Help!

    When I was younger, so much younger than before,
    I never needed anybody’s help in mopping up the floor
    But now these days are gone, I’m not so self assured,
    Now I find I’ve changed my mind and I’m asking you to knock upon candor.

    I think it’s begging for a Knock on Wood parody for the songsters out there, too.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 9:07 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   park rose bang

    Everyone knows that you have a spat or two with loved ones just before they are going to leave you for a long time so that you can yell ‘good riddance!!’ rather than admit that your heart is broken.

    It’s a love letter. Anyone can see that.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 9:08 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   TheOldSchool

      Maybe the puddle was created by the tears he’s been shedding at the thought of the lads’ imminent departure.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 5:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   RP

    Frankly, I’m too distracted by the “he emptied the entire refrigerator” story at the top to comment on the note itself.

    He threw away all of your food? How did that not lead to the rest of you beating the crap out of him (or at least getting money from him for the food he threw out)?

    Jun 15, 2009 at 9:14 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Farf

    Dear V,
    *candour
    Thanks, the Brits in the house.

    …I know it would be a cheap shot, I just don’t think I could help myself.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 9:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   park rose bang

      Farf:
      You’re a real tough cookie biscuit with a long history
      Of breaking little hearts like the one in me…

      Why don’t you hit me with your cheap shot?
      Why don’t you hit me with your cheap shot?
      Why don’t you hit me with your cheap shot?
      Fire awaaayayyy…

      -V

      Jun 15, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   bullwinkle

    I’m so happy someone chooses to uphold the stereotype of the aggressive, loud mouth American.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 9:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   park rose bang

      It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   anglophile bang

      What the hell would you know about it, park rose? You’re not an American. Don’t act like you know everything there is to know about Americans! Just shut up, why don’t you?

      Jun 15, 2009 at 10:15 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      Glo, honey, take another xanax… your stress is showing ;)

      Jun 15, 2009 at 10:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   park rose

      What the hell would you know about it, Anglophile? You’re not British. Don’t act like you know everything there is to know about the Brits! Just shut up, why don’t you? :x

      PS: You know I love it when you get down and dirty ;)

      Oh, and I’m taking your outburst in the spirit of comment number 15. :)

      Jun 15, 2009 at 11:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   oi bang

      What the hell would you know about Asians, Mickey? You’re not an Asian. Don’t act like you know everything there is to know about the Asians! Just shut up, why don’t you?
      Am I an Asian?
      Yes Yes I am.
      Am I an orient?
      No no I am not!

      Jun 15, 2009 at 12:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   park rose

      psst…hey oi.. never mind orients. the dirty lezzie texting club is interested in your orientation, though. ♥ :)

      .
      .

      dead gay horse: park rose, stfu. your not a dl. don’t act like you know everything there is to know about dls. just shut up, why don’t you?

      Jun 15, 2009 at 12:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.7   ryanmalloy

      @park rose:

      If she knew everything there was to know about the British, she wouldn’t be Anglophile but Anglophobe…

      Jun 15, 2009 at 1:18 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.8   T imo® bang

      La crasseux, la graisse, les Américains et fort! Ils merde dans l’évier et de boire de l’bidet. Porcs!

      Park Rose and Anglophile,
      Ne pas oser dire à moi parler de l’arrogance et la mauvaise odeur du corps! Je suis français, je sais tout sur elle! Que diable le savez-vous de ces choses?

      Jun 15, 2009 at 3:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.9   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Para mis queridas ParkRose y Anglophile, entretenganse bien y no te preocupas por los de mas..

      Jun 15, 2009 at 4:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.10   oi!

      mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!! they are speaking in tongues again!

      Jun 15, 2009 at 4:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.11   T imo®

      Oh MamaRilla2 eres la alegría en mi día.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 5:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.12   T imo®

      मैं तुम्हें प्यारा ओय हो, तुम मेरी दिन में खुशी है.
      :grin: :lol:

      Jun 15, 2009 at 5:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.13   oi!

      oh that is sweetest T.
      but it came out wee bit wrong it came out: I lovely you oi, you are fun in my day.
      I am not sure you are just being funny or the language program is faulty.
      for you:
      tu duniya no sauthi mithhado manas chhe. :D
      it is Gujarati.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 5:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.14   T imo®

      :lol: Awwww my lesson is to never trust interwebs language programs to do your sweet talk. :grin:

      Jun 15, 2009 at 7:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.15   Beanster

      napenda wote sana, hata Timo na oi!, na ‘glo na P.K. nataka kufanya mambo mbaya kwa watu wote yule.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 9:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Joe bang

    It’s called a water closet for a reason, wanker.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 9:48 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Sirius¤ bang

      Actually, it’s a wanker closet. Just don’t use the decorative hand towels, even if you’re just towelling off a little.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 2:50 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   john

    when people start out by saying they want to keep it simple, they rarely do.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 9:53 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   T.U.M.

      When he wants to make it complicated, it’s a 20-page saddle-stapled booklet with diagrams, equations, bibliography, and a lengthy dedication to Alan Turing in the foreward.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 12:11 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   ryanmalloy

      at least he’d be straight forward in the foreword

      Jun 15, 2009 at 1:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   Snippy

      Actually, he’d be straightforward — given that it is not two words, but one. A good effort, though, RM. ;)

      Jun 15, 2009 at 1:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   Sirius¤ bang

      Proper spelling is one way to determine if it’s really Alan Turing, or just a clever simulation.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 2:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   ryanmalloy

      @snippy:
      in a poor effort to mask my mistake:

      “straight forward” as opposed to “queer in the rear”…?

      Jun 15, 2009 at 3:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   Snippy

      Nice recovery. I was responding to your comment with a smile — and not the Dick Cheney kind. (I also gave yours a thumb because I liked it, so no worries.)

      Jun 15, 2009 at 4:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   [dave]

    this was the ad on the bottom of my RSS reader:

    http://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/imgad?id=CPbYtuOezeub3QEQrAIY7wEyCHl9boQL1SKO

    Jun 15, 2009 at 10:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Beanster

      im currently learning how to be an international terrorist.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 9:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   claw71 bang

    Let this be a lesson to you: Never let somebody wearing a Guy Fawkes mask move into your house.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 10:29 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   oi bang

    aye! aye!
    your mother does not live here.
    I thought it got old and nobody uses it anymore. That would be catastrophe. I am so happy now. :D

    oh just saw, crackjob shares this sentiment with me. high five!

    Jun 15, 2009 at 11:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Snippy

      Oh, aye, eh, oi?

      Jun 15, 2009 at 1:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   oi!

      It’s my happy sound not the rodent you thinking of. *crock*

      Jun 15, 2009 at 1:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Snippy

      I was merely enjoying the idea of replying to your comment with 2- and 3-letter words that sound like open vowels or maybe Hawaiian. :)

      Jun 15, 2009 at 3:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   susannie

    “we are a pretty relaxed household and have lived with the mystery soaker for the whole year.”

    Yikes. What’s up with all the “relaxed” households where nobody thinks it’s disgusting with water on the floor and it’s considered excessive to wash the bathroom more than twice a month? I hope it’s not carpet on the floor.

    I somehow understand how it’s difficult to write creative PAN’s in relaxed households… How many has he had to write before..?

    Jun 15, 2009 at 11:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   claw71 bang

      I shower at the gym and I pee in the kitchen sink. Pooping is done in the backyard on the compost pile and I see a dentist twice a year so I don’t brush my teeth. Bathroom? We don’t need no stinking bathroom.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 12:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   susannie

      In other words, you are the PERFECT housemate for a PAN-prone person? :)

      Jun 15, 2009 at 12:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   claw71 bang

      Considering that I am also a veritable dynamo in bed, I might be the perfect housemate for anybody.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 12:26 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   park rose bang

      I heard that first the girl from South Vietnam fell under your spell, then the girl from Laos, then the one from Cambodia. They were followed by girls from Benin, Ethiopia, Guinea-Bissau, Madagascar, Cape Verde, Mozambique, Angola, Afghanistan, Grenada and Nicaragua. A veritable domino? Guess I’d have to agree.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 1:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Diane

    I read “She doesn’t live here, and I’m pissed, so either start doing it or stop using this bathroom.” to be that the writer was sleeping with Mystery Slosher’s mother, but since the writer was drunk, Slosher would be a fine substitute. Apparently, you have to provide sex to use the bathroom. Nookie for dookie? Ewww.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 12:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Snippy

      All implorees must wash hands before and after using the bathroom.

      P.S. – Hummers are encouraged. Tootle-loo!

      Jun 15, 2009 at 1:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Misst

    GUH!! My roommate does that all the time when he takes a shower and it drives me nuts. When I take one I only leave a couple tiny spots of water and I don’t towel off first so I don’t know how he does it. I have decided that instead of being a nag I just take one of his towels off the back of the door and clean it up ;).

    Jun 15, 2009 at 2:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   walkinthepark

      Just for curiosity’s sake, is your first name fecal? ;)

      Jun 15, 2009 at 3:05 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   JMe

      Now that’s being passive-aggresive!

      Jun 15, 2009 at 3:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   TheOldSchool

    Why doesn’t he have everyone take a shower, one by one, in front of him in order to discover who the culprit is?

    Afterwards they could snap towels, have a pillow fight, and then some playful rough-housing, capped off with hot toddies and a little rumpy-pumpy.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 6:00 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   aaa

    Y’see, what our anonymous Cambridge student isn’t telling us is that they’ve been gaslighting the strange old foreigner because they hate Americans and are trying to get him to go fucking crazy so he’ll do something naked and violent in a public place and get arrested and deported. Or something like that.

    P.S. -50 points for the strange old American for not realizing British and American vernacular are different.

    Jun 15, 2009 at 9:36 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Kyra

    I actually find this one weirdly interesting, because I had the exact same problem when I spent the semester in England–I shared a university-housing flat with like ten other people, with three bathrooms between us, two of which had showers. Most of the time there weren’t any problems at all…except for the fact that the majority of the time, I’d come in to shower and find a lake on the floor. Did it come from people not toweling off? No, it was because for some reason, nobody could figure out this very basic principle: if the shower curtain hangs outside the tub/shower stall lip, it is completely useless except as a privacy screen. If the shower curtain hangs inside the tub/stall, it keeps the water in. We were all uni students; I’m not sure why this was so difficult to figure out.

    Um…yeah, apparently I was more worked up over this than I thought…? I’m not this uptight, really, it was just freakin’ annoying to have water leaked all over the floor because everyone else was too dumb to understand proper shower-curtain usage.

    Jun 16, 2009 at 2:11 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   mixels

    Erm, England is pretty famous for its shower setups, especially in hotels and such. The WC is literally a closet. It’s not uncommon to simply shut the door and turn on the shower, not having a door, curtain, or tub to retain the water. A drain in the middle of the floor helps, but the itty bitty lonely drain will often get clogged. It’s not uncommon to find yourself standing in a few-inches deep pool of water that slowly drains over the next hour or more.

    Hell, even in America in houses with huge, old style… erm… American… tubs, I’ve seen clogged drains whip up some wicked puddles. I’m really not sure how one would go about drying them. Using a towel would be a disaster. Sure, the towel would soak up a fair bit of water, but not near enough of it, and then you’d have to worry about carrying a drenched and dripping towel across a likely carpeted floor to a clothes bin. Bloody idiot, this guy is.

    Jun 16, 2009 at 9:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   heather

    I don’t blame the guy…it absolutely pisses me off to step into a puddle of water first thing in the morning… I usually wind up screaming at my sister and it escalate from there…i’m not so passive-aggressive lol

    Jun 17, 2009 at 1:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Jinx

    The just turn around and knock instructions, make it seem he lives in the bathroom or the closet of the bathroom. Hence knowing who’s mother does and doesn’t live there. If I saw this note, even if I wasn’t the offender, I wouldn’t shower there anymore.

    Jun 19, 2009 at 12:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Lisa

    Yeah so all that water might be annoying, but he threw everyones food out! I had a flatmate do that before, grr! Also, if they have a problem with him, they should come and see him, but since he has a problem with them, he writes a pan note.

    Also I’m Welsh and shared a flat with seven other people, either Welsh, Irish or American. The American is the only one I’ll miss, the rest were slobs, I should have left PAN notes in the kitchen :P

    Jun 19, 2009 at 8:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

Comments are Closed