writes dan in seattle: “i work at a federal hospital and often ride my motorcycle to work. there is another hospital employee that also does so, and we usually park in the same area. space is at a premium —especially around this woman and her self-proclaimed 10-foot-wide protected parking bubble. another time she left me a note asking me not to block her in (when I hadn’t blocked her in!) but this latest note from her is the best encounter by far. i parked behind her about a foot back, leaving plenty —and I mean plenty — of room for her to pull out, but apparently that wasn’t enough for her.”
this time, dan says, “for the safety of my motorcycle (and obviously, out of spite), i told the police.” lucky for us, he scanned a copy of the note first. it’s the totally “biker chick” stationery that makes it, of course.
related: hello kancer!
105 responses so far ↓
#1
Ella
I really just can’t get past the whole presentation of this note– nothing says “Don’t mess with me” like butterfly stationery and barely legible scrawl.
Jun 17, 2009 at 11:36 am rating: +17
#2
Woman on the Verge
With that handwriting it must be a doctor.
Jun 17, 2009 at 11:39 am rating: +26
#3
F-Bomb
“Hope you got a big trunk, cuz I’m gonna put my bike in it!”
Jun 17, 2009 at 11:43 am rating: +19
#4
banana
next time I will put my bike directly in front of you. I want you to
suckpull my bike into the middle of the street.Jun 17, 2009 at 11:54 am rating: +8
#5
TheOldSchool
Dan, I’m guessing that the police immediately dropped everything they had been working on, so they could give your emergency the attention it deserved.
I’m with the lady.
Jun 17, 2009 at 11:56 am rating: +21
#6
TheOldSchool
I love the stationery — except for the butterflies, hearts and the leaf motif.
Jun 17, 2009 at 11:59 am rating: +10
#7
RunBarbara
the last time someone told me that they had “plenty of room to pull out” i ended up with a sore eye and a box of plan b.
Jun 17, 2009 at 12:04 pm rating: +54
#8
sewknotrb
Quite frankly I l♥ve to have anyone park directly behind me.
I’ve got a tush that’s made for rolling.
Jun 17, 2009 at 12:07 pm rating: +5
#9
Meesh
In all seriousness, it is nearly impossible to block a motorcycle in. This woman is probably just an angry night nurse. You people in the medical profession know what I’m talking about.
Jun 17, 2009 at 12:31 pm rating: +9
#10
Flaboy2425
I ride a bike and parking only one foot behind a parked car is asking for trouble. Are the spaces marked off? Is the motorcycle in the middle of the space? A lot of questions need to be answered. For the moment, I side with the woman.
Jun 17, 2009 at 12:37 pm rating: +15
#11
disasteress
this is funny…and sad at the same time for something similar happened to me but turned out completely different.
same scenario, parking at a premium at work and I parked my bike in a little wedge between the first parked car and the curb, not realizing that someone else usually parked there too. One day a tall, handsome albeit little pissed off guy is making a beeline for my cubicle. Once he is in front of me he asks whether I ride the white and silver Honda, after I tell him yes that is mine he asks whether I got the note… I never actually received any note so I tell him, sorry, what note? He then explains that I have been hogging the entire space and if I park right next to the curb he can fit his bike next to mine. I certainly had no problems with that set-up and I assured him that I will leave space for him. At this point he is much less worked up as before so we chat for a bit and end up setting up a date, which went really well. We dated for a bit before he moved away to a city too far to make it work long distance.
I never found out what the original note he left actually said. It was probably blown off by the wind. If it wasn’t for the wind and taking his space again I most likely would have never met him and enjoyed his company so much.
Maybe, Dan should find her and seduce her
Jun 17, 2009 at 12:47 pm rating: +38
#12
Lorelie
That stationary is such a mish-mash of images, it’d make a graphic designer’s eyes bleed.
Jun 17, 2009 at 12:53 pm rating: +2
#13
SuperMe
i wish she had signed it “kisses!”
Jun 17, 2009 at 1:08 pm rating: +9
#14
Beth
Parallel parking should be outlawed, anyways.
Jun 17, 2009 at 1:18 pm rating: +1
#15
Ash
I’d really like to see follow-up on this note to know what the police did and if she ever leaves another note again!
Jun 17, 2009 at 1:25 pm rating: 0
#16
leftfoot
Butterflies are the moth’s evil, morning cousin.
And.. everyone knows that morning people are the the absolute worst.
Jun 17, 2009 at 1:54 pm rating: +4
#17
CS harmonikah
The stationery completely negate any cred that came with the motorcycle.
Jun 17, 2009 at 2:13 pm rating: +7
#18
aaa
Fifty bucks that both Dan in Seattle and The Bubble Lady are both entitled douchebags.
Jun 17, 2009 at 3:34 pm rating: +6
#19
WillBraden
I think this is funnier if you think of this whole exchange as dealing with bikes, not motorcycles.
and if you think of it as tricycles, and the people involved are from the Rugrats, it’s fucking HILARIOUS!
Jun 17, 2009 at 4:15 pm rating: +3
#20
claw71
So who is the bigger bitch here? The cranky twit with butterfly paper or Dan the man who reported this missive to the police?
Real bikers don’t call the cops. Real bikers solve their differences with a knife fight.
By the way, Dan, did the cops tell you to park in your own damned space or did they slap you around for wasting their time?
Jun 17, 2009 at 4:17 pm rating: +16
#21
hibousoir
It’s women like the note writer that give the rest of us female bike riders a bad name. I would have called the police, too. Sorry, but you don’t get to threaten my personal property–not to mention my sole transportation–because you can’t handle sharing parking spaces with other bikers. She sounds totally irrational to me. Scary that she works in hospital!
Jun 17, 2009 at 4:56 pm rating: +8
#22
lemskroob
Bike owners are so annoying.
When you park it, you want the respect a car gets (meaning a full spot), but out on the road, you want to take full advantage of its size, and act like you have extra rights (weave between cars, ride the shoulder, etc).
Jun 17, 2009 at 5:13 pm rating: +10
#23
octavius
I wonder if she has matching butterflies tattooed on her ass.
Jun 17, 2009 at 6:38 pm rating: +2
#24
sararulesall
ben kweller ftw
Jun 17, 2009 at 7:04 pm rating: +6
#25
Canthz_B
The police, Dan? Why? Did you want your bike put in protective custody? Maybe you hoped they’d set up stake-out teams?
Someone leaves you an empty threat, and you think you’re important enough to waste the time of law enforcement officers rather than give the lady another dick-length of space?
That’s why care in Federal hospitals (VA perhaps?) sucks…the staff are idiots.
Jun 17, 2009 at 7:54 pm rating: +1
#26
TP
I would just leave her a note that said, “Next time you leave me a note I am going to rip off your fingers and shove them in your c*** – although your bike might be a better fit.
Toodles,
Steely ‘3 inch diameter’ Dan”
Jun 17, 2009 at 7:57 pm rating: +3
#27
TheOldSchool
Problems like these would be history if we, as a society, were to collectively agree to all start driving those miniature Shriner cars.
(It would be nice if they could be upgraded from “parade mode,” so they could be amphibious and capable of flying.)
Jun 17, 2009 at 9:31 pm rating: +11
#28
BurstingAtTheSeams
Butterfly Biker will have a surprise when Dan starts parking elsewhere, and she suddenly is a sole motorcyclist taking up a large parking spot.
Someone far grouchier will come along in a hummer… and park behind her… and then what will she do?
Jun 17, 2009 at 9:42 pm rating: +4
#29
xs
the next time i get this note, maybe i’ll read all the words correctly. oh well.
Ooo, and yo momma’s so cheap she’s rollin shit back to the middle of the street, like she’s Wal-Mart or somethin! sssuckaaa.
Jun 17, 2009 at 11:48 pm rating: 0
#30
park rose
wwpfd?
we all know what dennis hopper would do, if he was in a blue velvet kind of a mood, and as for jack nicholson, well, I just found this quote from “the shining”:
Hello Danny. Come and play with us. Come and play with us, Danny. Forever… and ever… and ever.
jack did a stint as a character in a big hospital, too.
Jun 18, 2009 at 7:36 am rating: +1
#31
bullwinkle
people are insane. I once had a “gentleman” complain to me because I parked my scooter in one half of a parking space(to leave room for any scooterists or motorcycles that might drop by). He insisted my vespa had to be parked dead center, but declined to give a reason why.
Jun 18, 2009 at 9:30 am rating: +1
#32
GhostWriter
I love Angry Cursive. Our notewriter seems to have it pretty much under control, dotting her i’s within a letter or two of her target space, but then near the end, she cuts loose and actually crosses an “l’ !
Jun 18, 2009 at 10:16 am rating: +2
#33
Eccentric_Lady
Interesting note…but really disconcerting to see such anger on pretty stationary!
Came here from PLFM. So you can say, Weasel sent me. )
Jun 18, 2009 at 11:02 am rating: +1
#34
thirty six red
Both of them are little wussies. He might get his head cracked open when nurse Ratchet begins PMSing.
A lot of stupidly uptight self absorbed nit wits.
Bikers = Organ donors.
Jun 18, 2009 at 4:17 pm rating: 0
#35
Jinx
That hurt my eyes to read. Does anyone else get the feeling whoever wrote that shit wrote with their nondominate hand so it wouldn’t match their “real” handwriting?
Jun 19, 2009 at 12:42 am rating: +1
#36
bullwinkle
If he can get on his bike, stand it up strait, and wheel it out or in without colliding with the other “biker”, he’s not too close.
Jun 22, 2009 at 10:04 am rating: 0
#37
StopVoldemort
“The next time you park your bike directly behind me I’ll pull it bach into the middle of the street!”
The classical music reference doesn’t really fit in with the tone of the rest of the note.
Jun 22, 2009 at 11:02 am rating: 0
#38
bean
simple, yet true.
If you can’t fuckin drive it – DON’T
And, for the record, backing out is all part and parcel of driving!
Jun 23, 2009 at 12:47 am rating: 0
#39
Mike
Seems to me the world is full of these kinds of people. I’ve had a similar issue where I work. http://brickblog.net/2009/05/13/regarding-idiocy
Jun 23, 2009 at 10:28 am rating: 0
#40
Frustrated
At least you got a note, when other motorcycle riders park me in/lean their bike ON mine etc, I just tear a hole in their seat with my key.
Jun 29, 2009 at 10:55 pm rating: 0
#41
paolo404
I used to drive a home-built car with 4 different colours (yes that’s right) and I once had a woman stop me while I was driving out of a car park and tell me very aggressively not to park in there. I politely replied I had just finished fixing the Doctor’s computer and I would be back to do some more work for him the next day and I’d see her around. She was so embarrassed…
Jul 5, 2009 at 8:41 pm rating: 0
#42
john doe
Dan,
Just do what u need to do. Use a good blade to slash those tires, and a hammer to bust those windows. Believe me, it sounds strange, but it really works.
Jul 6, 2009 at 5:34 pm rating: 0
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