Presenting the winner of the creative spelling (and spacing) of the year award, spotted by Rob in the recently-painted elevator of his Brooklyn apartment building.
It has a lovely lyric quality to it, no?
related: your are welcome to our home
repestect yourself
June 29th, 2009 · 161 comments
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · bizarro spacing · brooklyn · elevator · landlord · now that's management · spelling and grammar police · your/you're
161 responses so far ↓
#1
oi!
Do not phight
menejemant.
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:14 pm rating: +39
#2
Ryan
This could be the start of some bizarre new verse structure… Graphity Haiku.
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:15 pm rating: +26
#3
AutistTree
But I like to do graphity – it’s what’s keeping me from floating off into space after all…
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:15 pm rating: +55
#4
oi!
do not it paper. paper vill mack uu cri.
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:15 pm rating: +16
#5
Verdigris
“If you like to do graphity”?
I had no idea it was an option. Maybe the author of this note was a fan of Douglas Adams?
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:22 pm rating: +3
#6
lightspeed
I’m shuur that the teanage taggers will stop
to read your noat sinse its so clear
yu deserv there respesect and meen
bizness.
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:23 pm rating: +26
#7
Spike Nesmith
Wow… that’s like one of those newfangled poems that don’t rhyme or scan.
Maybe the author is a genius!
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:24 pm rating: +8
#8
Kelly
“The worst part is all of the poor speling and grammer those graphity guys do. Why isn’t our children learning?”
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:29 pm rating: +51
#9
zombieBlanco
♬ Graphity, don’t do it. ♬
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:34 pm rating: +3
#10
Julie
…I have absolutely no idea what this means. “If you like to do graphity”??? Someone translate!
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:35 pm rating: +3
#11
Casemama
I’m dying to whip out my highlighter and correct everything, but the threat of being “recorded 24/7″ is holding me back. If only I weren’t such a coward.
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:37 pm rating: +16
#12
Casemama
And…what new wonders does Page 2 hold?
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:39 pm rating: +14
#13
Michelle S.
The reasin its hard to undersant is problably because Page 2 is
missing check apt 29 for addichonel infirmation on this important
anouncment thank you
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:43 pm rating: +7
#14
Julia
This is clearly the opposite of “How to keep an idiot occupied for hours,” in that smart people will be standing, scratching their heads, for lengthy periods of time attempting to make some sort of sense of this interesting arrangement of words.
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:49 pm rating: +36
#15
secondsout
I would blast the guy’s note, but I have too much repestect for him.
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:53 pm rating: +21
#16
ClearlyDemented
My guess is the note writer hates the occupants in apartment 29, and when she walked out in the hallway the next morning and saw their door completely covered with spray paint, she pat herself on the back and immediately took the note down.
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:55 pm rating: +9
#17
secondsout
So does this guy live at Apt 28, or does he hate the person at Apt 28 and wants to send a horde of angry knockers by?
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:55 pm rating: +3
#18
secondsout
So if the building is being taped, and if your (sic) taped, you go to jail? Is it suddenly a crime to be taped?
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:58 pm rating: +3
#19
secondsout
I’m guessing it’s a “No Smoking” sign, but a curious part of me hopes it’s another note written by the same guy, bitching about people in the building smoking. The smoking note isn’t written in Comic Sans, though. Nor does it feature a page number.
Jun 30, 2009 at 12:00 am rating: +2
#20
Resident Grammarian esq
Repestect my authoritah!
Jun 30, 2009 at 12:01 am rating: +17
#21
dominant glee club
I live near Prospect Park, and we never graphity our asses.
Jun 30, 2009 at 12:04 am rating: +21
#22
fluffy8u
Wow, I didn’t know that Captain Kirk owned an apartment complex!
Jun 30, 2009 at 12:07 am rating: +9
#23
Hillary
After reading this passive agressive note I just
want to know…what’s on page 2?
Jun 30, 2009 at 12:10 am rating: +1
#24
f.
This must’ve been written by Ali G!
Jun 30, 2009 at 12:15 am rating: +7
#25
Eila
I don’t know why everyone is so confused…
Graphity: the art of drawing graphs on public and private property as a form of self-expression.
All math lovers do it.
Jun 30, 2009 at 12:21 am rating: +37
#26
Flaboy2425
Only to the graphity police.
A prize should be given to the note writer for the most cleverly written gibberish ever seen.
Jun 30, 2009 at 12:29 am rating: +2
#27
RunBarbara
I think that this note is a ploy to get people to pull down their pants and wriggle around trying to write on their exposed, plump backsides while being filmed.
Just because that’s now I paid for college doesn’t mean its for everyone. Some people have mushy, flat, mashed potato asses that no one except Claw cares to see (and he certainly wouldn’t pay for it, he could just wait until his Mom is undressing for her monthly hosing off in the yard).
Jun 30, 2009 at 12:46 am rating: +8
#28
fluffy8u
Wow… Snippy is going to have a field day with this…
Jun 30, 2009 at 12:51 am rating: +5
#29
RunBarbara
R-E-P-E-S-T-E-C-T, find out what it means to me….
Jun 30, 2009 at 12:56 am rating: +29
#30
xs
Graphity my ass! calm
down, and what do you think this is, Prospect Park??
Jun 30, 2009 at 1:23 am rating: +2
#31
Joyful
I would love to learn how to paper knock. It sounds so gentle.
Jun 30, 2009 at 2:14 am rating: +4
#32
ryanmalloy
Do not right back on this
paper.
Do not left on it
either.
Jun 30, 2009 at 2:58 am rating: +20
#33
stickman
I believe the writer is FOB.
Jun 30, 2009 at 6:50 am rating: +1
#34
lauren
lol I had to read this twice before I understood “graphiti” was “graffiti.”
Jun 30, 2009 at 7:02 am rating: +4
#35
nyuu
I’m not sure what’s sadder: the fact that the OP only has Notepad to write with or the fact that the OP saved the note…
Jun 30, 2009 at 8:08 am rating: +1
#36
CS harmonikah
Oh, I’ll graphity your ass alright…..
Jun 30, 2009 at 8:13 am rating: +2
#37
tracey
quality, I really like this, I saw something like this on http://www.hire-a-graffiti-artist.co.uk It maybe the same person or a different graffiti artist ? I dont know it all looks good to me lol. xxx
Jun 30, 2009 at 8:53 am rating: +1
#38
Consultant Calamities
whaaaaa?
Jun 30, 2009 at 8:53 am rating: +1
#39
Dagoberto
I would kill to see Page 2.
Jun 30, 2009 at 8:54 am rating: +1
#40
HorribleLicensePlates
Yeah, I am going to wait here for the page 2 installment.
Jun 30, 2009 at 9:06 am rating: +2
#41
Black Kristos
I been hearing that she’s been giving that stuff
out to all them GRAPHITY guys
Jun 30, 2009 at 9:16 am rating: +2
#42
kt
it took 5 min for me to realize it was graffitti
Jun 30, 2009 at 9:20 am rating: +1
#43
Beth
Those darn kids, spray painting their trigonometry homework on the walls. What’s the world coming to?
Jun 30, 2009 at 9:55 am rating: +2
#44
claw71
And hear eye all wees thowt it wuz spelt grafeedy.
Jun 30, 2009 at 10:18 am rating: +2
#45
MAMARILLA2
I am coming to dis America, am learning how to talk like American. I get job to begins and work hard to makes money to be good American bizness mans and own a building, dey tells me dat dis is slum, I am not knowing wat dis is but I am knowing dat dis is how Americans make much monies. Dese kids come and spray paints on my walls and laugh at me…Dis never happen in Old Country…
Jun 30, 2009 at 10:19 am rating: +6
#46
xs
graph-i-ty: vandalistic wall art that is graphic or explicit in nature, often portraying nudity.
“pull your pants down and graphity your ass”
Jun 30, 2009 at 10:51 am rating: +2
#47
Weaselbaby
NNNOOOOO!!!! I want LESS gravitational effects on my butt! I’m pushing 30 from the wrong side…keep your graphity to yourself, thx.
Jun 30, 2009 at 10:59 am rating: +5
#48
crackjob
e.e. cummings is alive – and he’s a building manager!
Jun 30, 2009 at 11:52 am rating: +8
#49
claw71
I don’t like this message, Management, but not for the reasons you might think.
Jun 30, 2009 at 12:12 pm rating: +3
#50
Chibigodzilla
I tell ya, I don’t get no repestect.
No repestect at all…
Jun 30, 2009 at 12:38 pm rating: +4
#51
Kay
Okay, so it took me three full sentences to figure out that they meant “Graffiti.” I’m reading this going “Gra-fight-e…Huh?” I kid you not I was trying to find the little cartoon character drawn in the corner who would be sad if you littered or something…
Apparently I need more coffee.
Jun 30, 2009 at 2:04 pm rating: +1
#52
aaa
At first, I was thinking this totally had to be a joke since this seems to contain all of the passive-aggressive poor spelling/grammar stereotypes. Then I remembered that some people really are that PA and really do suck that hardcore at the English language.
Jun 30, 2009 at 2:27 pm rating: +3
#53
Melissa
I had to read through this twice before I realized he meant “graffiti.”
Jun 30, 2009 at 3:40 pm rating: +1
#54
mao
Wh…What?
Jun 30, 2009 at 5:02 pm rating: +1
#55
meg
oh, god. it means graffiti, not gravity. i was so confused.
Jun 30, 2009 at 5:03 pm rating: +1
#56
ClickClack
(knocks on Apt. 2B)
“Hi! Where can I purchase a recording of this building?”
Jun 30, 2009 at 5:07 pm rating: +6
#57
Amy
repestect mah authoritay!
Jun 30, 2009 at 5:42 pm rating: 0
#58
JAmes Woods
Most impressive dude!
Rt
http://www.complete-privacy.tk
Jun 30, 2009 at 6:41 pm rating: 0
#59
Chloe
This was written in Notepad with word wrap. Notepad has a funny way of re-wrapping text after you save it, and inserts blank lines too.
Jun 30, 2009 at 7:01 pm rating: 0
#60
James
Get your red pen out, make all necessary corrections and go knock on the door. Hand it to the management without a word and walk away.
Too funny!
Jun 30, 2009 at 7:34 pm rating: +3
#61
Ted G
Reading this entry and all the comments was very graphitying.
Jun 30, 2009 at 9:54 pm rating: +6
#62
drippy
I find it interesting that two attempts at spelling ‘respect’ failed, where similar ‘prospect’ seemed to be no problem.
Jun 30, 2009 at 11:05 pm rating: +3
#63
Missy
Repestect? Respect? Repest? Perhaps the author in Apt.2B is the next Jacques Derrida. What’s the différance?
Jul 1, 2009 at 10:43 am rating: +2
#64
luna
personally, i’m DYING to see page 2…
Jul 1, 2009 at 12:02 pm rating: 0
#65
jenny
if that’s page 1, i would love to see what page 2 says.
Jul 1, 2009 at 12:09 pm rating: 0
#66
anglophile
Hey, I bet Page 2 is hilarious!
Also, I heard that if you flush your toilet with the lid up, fecal mist gets all over your toothbrush and servers in America do not get paid minimum wage, so you should always tip them, no matter how bad the service.
Jul 1, 2009 at 12:12 pm rating: +2
#67
Bunnee
I’ll bet the kids doing the “graphity” have better grammar and spelling than the note writer. How sad.
Jul 1, 2009 at 3:50 pm rating: +1
#68
Kristin
Oh, come on! How is anyone supposed to take THAT seriously? And is there a Page 2? If not, why bother to add the Page 1 footer?
Jul 1, 2009 at 3:52 pm rating: 0
#69
orangetiki
So now the only things ruining the walls will be the four slabs of packing tape that he/she used
Jul 2, 2009 at 6:49 am rating: +2
#70
bean
This is truly the work of a genius. or a madman, but definitely a genius. We are truly glimpsing the future of passive aggressive notes here.
/and yeah, i know im not the first to point that out. I CTLR+F’d it
Jul 3, 2009 at 3:13 pm rating: +1
#71
tracey
quality lol, I like this, I saw something like this on http://www.hire-a-graffiti-artist.co.uk a good graffiti artist
Jul 4, 2009 at 6:02 am rating: 0
#72
Stuffington Post
Am I the only one aimlessly searching for Apartment 28?
Jul 5, 2009 at 9:39 pm rating: 0
#73
Misty
At first I couldn’t get the rhythm so I initially read it to the melody of “If you’re happy and you know it”
If you like to do graphity
don’t do it
pull down your pants!
down your pants!
Jul 6, 2009 at 3:17 pm rating: +2
#74
TP
The only thing that confused me was that I was wondering what a Paper Knock is – besides a very quiet one, that is.
Jul 8, 2009 at 4:47 pm rating: 0
#75
Paul
This was the first one that has made me literally LOL’d so far… THANK YOU!
“graphity keeps me from floating off into outer space”… that one did it for me.
Jul 15, 2009 at 7:35 pm rating: 0
#76
Dani
Man, and this whole time I thought he was talking about graphite pencils.
Jul 17, 2009 at 3:07 pm rating: 0
#77
Brit
It took me a good 4 or 5 rereads before I figured out that graphity meant graffiti. In my head, it sounded more like gravity with an “f”, and I couldn’t make an ounce of sense out of the whole note. *shakes head* How do people like this become “management”?!?!
Jul 23, 2009 at 7:41 pm rating: 0
#78 the kronic—what?—kles of keith
[...] our anonymous submitter in minneapolis spotted this bit of graphity on a wooden bridge at a park, he says, “at first i thought it was sweet in a sad kind of [...]
Jul 30, 2009 at 10:18 pm rating: 0
#79 the kronic—what?—kles of keith
[...] our anonymous submitter in minneapolis spotted this bit of graphity on a wooden bridge at a park, he says, “at first i thought it was sweet in a sad kind of [...]
Jul 30, 2009 at 10:18 pm rating: 0
#80 the kronic—what?—kles of keith
[...] our anonymous submitter in minneapolis spotted this bit of graphity on a wooden bridge at a park, he says, “at first i thought it was sweet in a sad kind of [...]
Jul 30, 2009 at 10:18 pm rating: 0
#81
ashmeadow
I think its wrong how you all are shaming the management. It is clearly daffy duck who wrote the note. He deserves respectet.
Aug 21, 2009 at 3:32 pm rating: 0
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