This martyr alert spotted by Randy on the breakroom fridge of his office in Chico, California…
related: Coffee, mate?
This martyr alert spotted by Randy on the breakroom fridge of his office in Chico, California…
related: Coffee, mate?
FILED UNDER: California · coffee · martyr complex · milk · office fridge · thanks (but not really)
"customer service" "helpful" advice actually totally reasonable a little patronizing anthropomorphism Australia bathroom birthday blitzkrieg approach Boston California Canada CAPS LOCK car cats Chicago Christmas cleaning clip art catastrophe college life confusion??? crazypants D.C. dishes dogs e-mail etiquette excessive underlining exclamation-point happy!!!! Facebook family Florida flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens food frenemies garbage God guilt trip heart holiday spirit hygiene irregular capitalization Jesus kids kitchen landlords and property managers London Los Angeles Massachusetts mean girls Michigan Moms & Dads money more aggressive than passive most popular notes of 2010 most popular notes of 2011 most popular notes of 2012 most popular notes of 2013 Mother-daughter notes neighbors New York noise not-so-veiled threats note wars now that's management odor office office fridge oh snap old folks Oops? p.s. parking piss public shaming questionable logic rebuttals restaurant retail hell roommates San Francisco sarcasm schools & teachers Seattle sex sex sex shit signed with love smartass smiley spelling and grammar police stealing Texas thanks (but not really) that's disgusting TL;DR toilet toilet paper U.K. unnecessary "quotation marks" unsolicited feedback visual aids warning whiteboard WTF? You call that punctuation?
223 responses so far ↓
#1
Moody
I’ve resisted the urge to shout “first,” but who will stop me from using an obscenity to describe how I imagine the half and half tastes?
Jun 30, 2009 at 10:24 pm rating: 90
#2
damon8r
I hear it’s legal to have coffee makers at home these days…
Jun 30, 2009 at 10:29 pm rating: 90
#3
Casemama
You know, she seems hostile enough without the coffee. Maybe someone was doing her a favor by drinking the half and half, therefore leaving the coffee undrinkable. Maybe they were trying to send a message along the lines of, “You’re a crazy freak. You don’t need coffee.”
Jun 30, 2009 at 10:32 pm rating: 90
#4
drybamboo
They SHOULD be thankful. Whoever took their half & half just made their coffee more potent and fat-free.
Jun 30, 2009 at 10:43 pm rating: 90
#5
zombieBlanco
It’s pretty easy to see why noncaffeinated early-riser isn’t getting any!!
Jun 30, 2009 at 10:44 pm rating: 90
#6
R.M.
I Just wonder what time they go to bed to be getting up at 3:00. That would kill their social life, no wonder they are angry, coffee is their only friend.
Jun 30, 2009 at 10:48 pm rating: 90
#7
Sirius¤
Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o’clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues.
We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.
Jun 30, 2009 at 10:52 pm rating: 90
#8
jessi
sheeesh, they’re acting like none was left! “almost all.”
Jun 30, 2009 at 10:56 pm rating: 90
#9
David
I am caught up on that bizarre “of, ” like a serial killer’s.
Jun 30, 2009 at 10:58 pm rating: 90
#10
Brooser
My question is, why the hell would anyone wake up at 3:00 to go to work? I understand if it’s a night/early morning shift or whatever, but at an office?
Maybe what they need is less coffee and more sleep.
Jun 30, 2009 at 10:58 pm rating: 90
#11
you suck at craigslist
‘Cause, you know, it’s absolutely impossible to make coffee at home.
Wait, if someone uses 3/4 of the 1/2 & 1/2, how much would be left? 3/16ths?
Jun 30, 2009 at 11:03 pm rating: 90
#12
Laurel
Well… Sucks to be you?
There’s really no way to take this back, why bother unless it happens all the time?
Jun 30, 2009 at 11:06 pm rating: 90
#13
leftfoot
Oh jeez. In the time it took them to write the note, they could have just put some milk in the coffee and bought some later. I’ve run out before, too. It’s not the end of the friggin world (and why I keep powdered on hand for emergencies).
Jun 30, 2009 at 11:12 pm rating: 90
#14
Beanster
“6/11, 4:50 am”
I can’t decide if this is a reference to the show 24
may eleventh, four fifty am
or an allusion to 9/11 to make her lack of coffee all the more grave
Jun 30, 2009 at 11:15 pm rating: 90
#15
ClearlyDemented
Anyone who writes ‘and’ as a three with a line through it deserves to have all their dairy products stolen, completely. She got off easy if you ask me.
Jun 30, 2009 at 11:25 pm rating: 90
#16
bsr
I need caffiene at 3 a.m,!!!
Jun 30, 2009 at 11:31 pm rating: 90
#17
ClearlyDemented
If I worked in this office, I would absolutely have to dump the half & half every night before I left.
Jun 30, 2009 at 11:32 pm rating: 90
#18
kp
Half & Half is a requirment for coffee? I cry weakness.
Jun 30, 2009 at 11:35 pm rating: 90
#19
Matt
Maybe if she stopped drinking coffee she could afford a home closer to her work.
Jun 30, 2009 at 11:59 pm rating: 90
#20
Zsa
I used to go to work at 5am and could make it a full 2 hours without coffee OR whining. and believe me, I did the jig of joy when 2pm came and I could leave!
Jul 1, 2009 at 12:29 am rating: 90
#21
Kou
Oh no, a whole FORTY FIVE MINUTES? Oh no wait, ALMOST forty five minutes? That poor, poor soul. That just must be the longest commute anyone has ever had, and it must just make it impossible to brew their own coffee at home. Bless their little heart.
Jul 1, 2009 at 12:42 am rating: 90
#22
marisa
woahhh i live in chico
Jul 1, 2009 at 12:48 am rating: 90
#23
RunBarbara
If I left a cunty note like that on the fridge, I wouldn’t get any, either!
Jul 1, 2009 at 12:54 am rating: 90
#24
Luxor
So… buy (or “borrow” from nearest cafe) the individual serving half/halfs (like mini-moo’s) and just bring what you need for yourself each day @ work. Hide them in your purse/briefcase/backpack/totoro lunch box.
Jul 1, 2009 at 1:16 am rating: 90
#25
Michelle S.
Dear half & half thief: That was breast half & half!
Jul 1, 2009 at 1:21 am rating: 90
#26
Feh
A note like that deserves “You’re welcome!” scrawled on the side, followed by a little heart.
Jul 1, 2009 at 2:09 am rating: 90
#27
AnonEMouse
Dear Caffeine Freak,
That half + half was fucking delicious.
Jul 1, 2009 at 2:29 am rating: 90
#28
Tracy
6/11 NEVAR FORGET
Jul 1, 2009 at 3:08 am rating: 90
#29
Carol
Thieves are arse holes.
Jul 1, 2009 at 5:25 am rating: 90
#30
Susannie
The glass of half and half is certainly not half full!
Jul 1, 2009 at 6:11 am rating: 90
#31
Nobody
I want to know what office in Chico is open so early that workers would need to get there by 5am. The only thing I can think of is, well, a coffee shop?
Jul 1, 2009 at 6:37 am rating: 90
#32
stickman
The office opens at 8. The writer leaves early to avoid traffic.
Jul 1, 2009 at 7:15 am rating: 90
#33
CS harmonikah
I may catch shit for this, but….
I feel like any condiments that are in the office kitchen, and dont have a name written on them, are up for grabs. Cream, milk, sugar, ketchup, fancy dijon mustard, whatever.
Jul 1, 2009 at 8:36 am rating: 90
#34
anglophile
I have to start work at 5 am two days a week. I have a half-hour commute. The first thing I did when I took the job was go off the caffeine, because I figured I did not want to mess around in the morning making coffee just to be awake enough to drive in.
I have two methods for staying awake without caffeine: one is to get up at 3 am, eat breakfast, get ready for work, and then take a 15 minute nap before driving in. The other is to get up 15 minutes before I have to leave, make a mad dash to get ready and rely on the adrenaline rush to get me there. The first method works better.
Jul 1, 2009 at 9:28 am rating: 90
#35
americantrotter
I am sure to be destroyed for this………..
At what point do you stop being funny and start becoming insensitive? I mean I know it’s lame to post the note and the emotion behind it is pretty crazy, but someone did steal someone else’s item.
What a fun world to live in. Stealing is ok, but note writers need be MOCKED on the internets.
Jul 1, 2009 at 9:36 am rating: 90
#36
cam
I feel his pain, but I bet he regretted raging so much when he woke up a bit. I do that with comments on this site all the time, someone should ban me.. please…
Jul 1, 2009 at 9:37 am rating: 90
#37
Junebug
Won’t get any? Why bring his sex life into this?
Jul 1, 2009 at 9:50 am rating: 90
#38
claw71
I’m just wondering, does the note writer commute uphill? Both ways?
Jul 1, 2009 at 10:29 am rating: 90
#39
wicked opinion
Dear americantrotter,
Just like Walmart, Internet is NOT plural.
Just a little FYI for ya’
You’re welcome.
Jul 1, 2009 at 10:42 am rating: 90
#40
wicked opinion
You really shouldn’t take the note writer’s side on this website…it can only end badly. Trust me.
Jul 1, 2009 at 10:43 am rating: 90
#41
wicked opinion
Every time I come onto this site I get my ass handed to me….*sigh…it hurts so good. And I happen to be very proud of my affiliation with the dork police, thank you. We have jackets and everything.
Jul 1, 2009 at 11:34 am rating: 90
#42
wicked opinion
I give you all some credit…my ass is HUGE!
Jul 1, 2009 at 11:35 am rating: 90
#43
Wayne D.
I used to have a problem like this in college at the dorm fridge. Just dye it green. Solves it pretty quickly.
Jul 1, 2009 at 12:39 pm rating: 90
#44
xs
If Disgruntled Diana rises at 3am and drives at 60mph to be at Chico at 4:45, and a tank truck full of half and half leaves Chico at 4:15 at 60mph timed to explode like a beached whale when they cross, when is the earliest DD can have coffee?
Jul 1, 2009 at 12:53 pm rating: 90
#45
Joseph
just drink it black and stop whining…baby.
Jul 1, 2009 at 1:10 pm rating: 90
#46
Matt
Um, some of us have managed to travel to get to work at 5 am and have never had a cup of coffee to drink. Oh look, I made it through the day, I must be using witchcraft.
Jul 1, 2009 at 4:26 pm rating: 90
#47
Farcical Aquatic Ceremony
hey everyone! thought I’d make my enjoyment of this site official by signing up & joining in : )
how did the thief use up “most” of a container of half ‘n’ half at one time, is what I’m wondering…
the note-writer be be sorry when she finds out that the thief took the stuff in order to make her a cup of rich, creamy (half ‘n’ half-y) chocolate mousse…
Jul 1, 2009 at 5:06 pm rating: 90
#48
Mishee
“Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I’m being repressed!”
Jul 1, 2009 at 6:44 pm rating: 90
#49
ClickClack
To Half & Half — not.
Jul 1, 2009 at 7:07 pm rating: 90
#50
fluffy8u
Off topic moment: I’m not getting the “edit” option anymore, is it just my sad excuse for a computer/internet or is it a new thing for PAN?
Jul 1, 2009 at 10:07 pm rating: 90
#51
StuffUnemployedPeopleLike.com
I don’t have a job, therefore I don’t need coffee in the morning. But when I did have a job, and on the occasions I would drink coffee, I drank it black. So that note writer outta STFU.
Jul 1, 2009 at 10:40 pm rating: 90
#52
psh
this is the most passive-aggressive thing ever…
http://www.ihateyounatalie.com/?id=1678835
Jul 1, 2009 at 11:00 pm rating: 90
#53
Maffs
DUDE….I actually KNOW who left this note. I used to work there and would recognize her handwriting anywhere…
She’s a massive b, for sure.
Jul 9, 2009 at 1:46 pm rating: 90
#54
Unitard
I will proudly wear the unitard in support of the “fucking delicious!” campaign!
That half and half was FUCKING DELICIOUS!
Jul 15, 2009 at 3:16 pm rating: 90
#55
Nathan Lawrence
I like the 4:50 AM in the corner. A nice sort of “pity me” touch.
Jul 31, 2009 at 3:17 pm rating: 90
#56 Coffee, mate? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people
[...] I, who should seriously lay off the caffeine Share0mail it! This post is favorited by 0 registered [...]
Apr 7, 2010 at 1:45 pm rating: 90
Comments are Closed