Entries from June 2009
Writes Devra in San Luis Obispo, California: “I’m visiting my parents in Napa, where they both work at wineries. They recently found out that I smoke cigarettes, and though I’m sure they disapprove, there has been little to no discussion on the matter. My mom wanted me to go with her to a tasting today, so she printed out directions from Google Maps with this note written on it. I found it waiting on my bedside table when I woke up.”
related: And pull up your pants!
Tags: Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes · odor · smiley · smoking
Spotted by Ressa’s brother during his travels through America…
(This is one of those where the passive-aggressive part isn’t the note itself.)
extra credit: stuffonmycat.com
Tags: actually totally reasonable · cats · neighbors · New York
Evan in San Diego spotted this bilingual warning in a local thrift shop. “I particularly enjoy the vaguely racist implication of the Spanish translation,” Evan adds. “It’s the only sign in the store (among dozens) that’s en espanol.”
related: When nature calls
Si te robas algo de esta tienda, es lo mismo que robar de alguien que esta infectado con SIDA. Fijate!!! Stealing from this shop is the same as stealing from people with AIDS. Consider this!!!
Tags: Espanol · guilt trip · oh no you didn't · questionable logic · retail hell · San Diego · stealing
Spotted by our anonymous (and uninvolved) submitter on the office bulletin board at a “super mega corp” in Columbus, Ohio…where apparently a vegan “safe space” is, um, kind of in order (sob).
related: P.S. bacon is life
extra credit: Passive-aggressive vegan grocery cashier, a day in the life [McSweeneys]
P.S. Like this post? See more like this by following @panotes on Twitter, on Facebook, or via RSS!
Tags: clip art catastrophe · Columbus · food · most popular notes of 2009 · office · smartass
Writes Jim in Colorado: “When I attempt to cook, I typically use way too many pots, pans and utensils and sometimes tend to skip instructions. (I actually made hard-boiled eggs and set the smoke detectors off.) Anyway, the other night I made cheeseburger pie and forgot to precook the meat. I woke up the next morning and found this on the refrigerator.” </laugh track> Oh, dad!
related: No reading required, kids
FOOD DAD IS ALLOWED TO COOK: Hot dogs, hamburgers, grilled cheese, nuggets, pre-bagged meals, fast food, BBQ or grill, Mac + cheese, Deli stuff. FOOD DAD IS NOT ALLOWED TO COOK: Anything that requires more than 3 ingredients
Tags: food · kitchen · Moms & Dads
…because there’s no measure of self-worth more important than the public acknowledgment that you were, in fact, born.
related: But…but…I didn’t forget!
Tags: birthday · Facebook · frenemies
Writes Dan in Seattle: “I work at a hospital and often ride my motorcycle to work. There is another hospital employee that also does so, and we usually park in the same area. Space is at a premium —especially around this woman and her self-proclaimed 10-foot-wide protected parking bubble. Another time she left me a note asking me not to block her in (when I hadn’t blocked her in!) but this latest note from her is the best encounter by far. I parked behind her about a foot back, leaving plenty —and I mean plenty — of room for her to pull out, but apparently that wasn’t enough for her.”
This time, Dan says, “for the safety of my motorcycle (and obviously, out of spite), I told the police.” Lucky for us, he scanned a copy of the note first. It’s the totally “biker chick” stationery that makes it, of course.
related: Hello kancer!
Tags: heart · motorcycles · nice stationery · not-so-veiled threats · parking · Seattle
As far as he can tell, Chris in Portland thinks this anonymous text was sent by his downstairs neighbor after a morning of hitting the snooze button one too many times. “Needless to say,” Chris admits, “this was not the first time I had ignored the alarm clock.”
What’s strange, Chris says, is that he has no idea how the neighbor got a hold of his cell phone number. “My only thought is that about a month prior to receiving this text, I left my phone number on a post-it on the front door of the building so the UPS delivery guy could get a hold of me. They must have held onto that number the whole time, just waiting for the absolute breaking point.”
Creepy…but kind of genius, right?
related: Recipe for roommate discord
Tags: cell phone · neighbors · noise · Portland · text message
Our anonymous university student in Cambridge, England found this note pinned to the door of his shared house. “The guy who wrote it moved here from America about five weeks ago and is about eight years older than the rest of us in the house. He seems to be a nice guy, but has this strange aggressive side that we are now a little wary of. Last week he cleaned out all the fridges, claiming he had not been offered any space in them, throwing away open food belonging to other people.”
Adds our submitter: “We are a pretty relaxed household and have lived with the mystery soaker for the whole year. It seems a little odd that this guy is making all this fuss so close to the end of term when we will all leave and he will presumably have the house to himself.”
related: Oxford drama
Tags: college life · roommates · shower · U.K. · Your mother doesn't...
Because nobody says “I mean business” like…Donald Duck.
Except, perhaps, Mickey Mouse? Writes our anonymous submitter in Toronto: “My sister went to do her laundry with her 2-year-old daughter who kept on saying ‘Mickey! Mickey!’” It seemed like random toddler babbling…until she saw the note.
Thanks for taking your sweet f*ckin’ time doin’ your laundry. Next time try setting an Egg timer so you can get your Lazy ASS outa bed!
related: How many wonders can one cavern hold?
extra credit: Didn’t Disney sue a bunch of preschools for painting Disney characters on their walls? [snopes.com]
Tags: California · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · laundry · not-so-veiled threats · out-of-context cartoon character · Toronto