Entries from June 2009

When Internet memes go wrong IRL

June 24th, 2009 · 115 Comments

Spotted by Ressa’s brother during his travels through America…

stuff on my cat fail

(This is one of those where the passive-aggressive part isn’t the note itself.)

related: passive-allergic

extra credit: stuffonmycat.com

Tags: actually totally reasonable · cats · neighbors · New York

Consider this!!!

June 23rd, 2009 · 121 Comments

Evan in San Diego spotted this bilingual warning in a local thrift store. “I particularly enjoy the vaguely racist implication of the Spanish translation,” Evan adds. “It’s the only sign in the store (among dozens) that’s en espanol.”

Stealing from this shop is the same as stealing from people with AIDS. Consider this!!!

related: When nature calls

Tags: Espanol · guilt trip · oh no you didn't · questionable logic · retail hell · San Diego · stealing

Soyf*ckers Anonymous

June 22nd, 2009 · 358 Comments

Spotted by our anonymous (and uninvolved) submitter on the office bulletin board at a “super mega corp” in Columbus, Ohio…where apparently a vegan “safe space” is, um, kind of in order (sob).

Vegan? Vegan, vegetarian or vegan-curious?  Casual, non-judgemental support & opportunities to connect!  Monthly meetups within the community.  JOIN NOW! The Columbus Vegan Meetup Group  Carnivore? Chances are you don't need some wimpy support group. Keep being AWESOME!

related: p.s. bacon is life

extra credit: Passive-aggressive vegan grocery cashier, a day in the life [McSweeneys]

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Tags: clip art catastrophe · Columbus · food · most popular notes of 2009 · office · smartass

Happy reinforcing gender stereotypes day!

June 21st, 2009 · 113 Comments

Writes Jim in Colorado: “When I attempt to cook, I typically use way too many pots, pans and utensils and sometimes tend to skip instructions. (I actually made hard-boiled eggs and set the smoke detectors off.) Anyway, the other night I made cheeseburger pie and forgot to precook the meat. I woke up the next morning and found this on the refrigerator.” </laugh track> Oh, dad!

Food Dad is allowed to cook

related: no reading required, kids

Tags: food · kitchen · Moms & Dads

…but I hope it was good

June 18th, 2009 · 164 Comments

…because there’s no measure of self-worth more important than the public acknowledgment that you were, in fact, born.

[Mark:] Thank you to everyone that wished me a happy birthday. I had a great time an I wish everyone could have been there. Thanks again. [Jennifer:] I didnt wish you a happy birthday because our friendship has dwindled into nothingness and I am angry with you about it... but I hope it was good

i guess i will wish you a happy birthday cuz its the rite thing to do. dont bother returning the favour on my birthday though. maybe you can forget it like you did emilys birthday.

related: But…but…I didn’t forget!

Tags: birthday · Facebook · frenemies

In other words…the butterflies are passive-aggressive

June 17th, 2009 · 106 Comments

Writes Dan in Seattle: “I work at a federal hospital and often ride my motorcycle to work. There is another hospital employee that also does so, and we usually park in the same area. Space is at a premium —especially around this woman and her self-proclaimed 10-foot-wide protected parking bubble. Another time she left me a note asking me not to block her in (when I hadn’t blocked her in!) but this latest note from her is the best encounter by far. I parked behind her about a foot back, leaving plenty —and I mean plenty — of room for her to pull out, but apparently that wasn’t enough for her.”

This time, Dan says, “for the safety of my motorcycle (and obviously, out of spite), I told the police.” Lucky for us, he scanned a copy of the note first. It’s the totally “biker chick” stationery that makes it, of course.

The next time you park your bike directly behind me...

related: hello kancer!

Tags: heart · motorcycles · nice stationery · not-so-veiled threats · parking · Seattle

A text from the big guy upstairs (or downstairs)

June 15th, 2009 · 131 Comments

As far as he can tell, Chris in Portland thinks this anonymous text was sent by his downstairs neighbor after a morning of hitting the snooze button one too many times. “Needless to say,” Chris admits, “this was not the first time I had ignored the alarm  clock.”

What’s strange, Chris says, is that he has no idea how the neighbor got a hold of his cell phone number. “My only thought is that about a month prior to receiving this text, I left my phone number on a post-it on the front door of the building so the UPS delivery guy could get a hold of me. They must have held onto that number the whole time, just waiting for the absolute breaking point.”

Turn your motherfucking alarm off.

Creepy…but kind of genius, right?

related: recipe for roommate discord

Tags: cell phone · neighbors · noise · Portland · text message

Clearly seeking his master’s in diplomacy

June 15th, 2009 · 103 Comments

Our anonymous university student in Cambridge, England found this note pinned to the door of his shared college house. “The guy who wrote it moved here from America about five weeks ago and is about eight years older than the rest of us in the house. He seems to be a nice guy, but has this strange aggressive side that we are now a little wary of. Last week he cleaned out all the fridges, claiming he had not been offered any space in them, throwing away open food belonging to other people.”

clearly seeking his master's in diplomacy

Adds our submitter: “We are a pretty relaxed household and have lived with the mystery soaker for the whole year. It seems a little odd that this guy is making all this fuss so close to the end of term when we will all leave and he will presumably have the house to himself.”

related: oxford drama

Tags: college life · shower · U.K. · Your mother doesn't...