Entries from June 2009
Extra P in Charlottesville, Virginia found this note in his office break room. He draws our attention to two sections in particular: “the ‘let there be closure’ line, which seems more appropriate for a break-up note, and the ‘mark an X if you threw it away’ part, which reminds me of grade school mash notes. Besides, what did our local kleptomaniac want with a jelly jar full of water, anyway?”
related: Next time, go for the Fiji?
Missing jelly jar please return. The night before last I put a kelly jar on the dish rack full of water, to soak. It has a water tight lid. I know it doesn’t seem like something important, but I would like it back. If you have it, please bring it back. If you threw it away, please let me know so there can be closure. Thank you.
Tags: Charlottesville · office · stealing · Virginia
Writes our anonymous submitter from San Francisco: “I bought $50 worth of groceries at Trader Joe’s, my boyfriend made an awesome pizza out of [some of] them, and as we were watching a movie and eating some, my uber-bachelor roommate yelled through the door and asked if he could get a slice. The man has rice and soy protein on his shelf in the pantry, for almost two years has been replacing leftovers in the fridge with “IOUs,” and rarely makes anything worth sharing — not that we would impose. Sean said ‘yeah,’ I countered with ‘meh,’ and after 30 minutes of door-slamming, he left this note on the table — along with a sticker on our pizza that said ‘meh.’”
related: get your own
Tags: art · food · roommates · San Francisco · shit
Writes Aimee in Sellersburg, Indiana: “My former boss used to leave these kind of notes posted on our work bulletin board constantly. It was a really boring job, so these little rays of sunshine made coming to work worth it.”
related: I don’t recall signing any bond/contact regarding your use of exclamation points!!!
Tags: CAPS LOCK · confusion??? · crazy boss · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Indiana · now that's management · sad face · You call that punctuation?
“A few days after changing my status to single,” writes Meg in Red Deer, Alberta, “Facebook proves to be the creep I always knew it was.”
(Jordon is the ex-boyfriend.)
related: Reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your Facebook profile
Tags: breakup · Canada · Facebook
Writes Mike in Seattle: “I work in a large in-house call center for a giant of the aerospace industry. My office has 50 to 75 technical support folks, many of whom can be somewhat…less than hygienic. Following a rash of uncharacteristically hot days, this note showed up in the mens’ room, accompanied by a bottle of Axe.”
related: There are only ten types of people in the world…those who remember to bathe regularly, an those who don’t
Tags: hygiene · odor · office · Seattle
This note — spotted by Erik in a break room at Northwestern‘s Medill School of Journalism — takes me back to my days as a bright-eyed young reporter cheerfully slaving away at my college daily, where the grizzled old alumni “mentors” working at the Times or the Globe always seemed to have the same advice: if we were smart, we’d get the hell out of journalism before it was too late. (“Ha ha,” we’d laugh, awkwardly.) It’s somehow reassuring to know that kids today (“kids today!”) are still blithely ignoring their elders to pursue a degree that just might be the most unnecessary in higher education.
But seriously now. At this point, you’re like, “What is this biotch rambling on about? Doesn’t she know I don’t read text longer than 140 characters at a time? Show me the picture, dammit!” And that, young j-schoolers, is the topic of next week’s lecture.
related: the silverware segregationist
extra credit: the twitter explosion [american journalism review]
Tags: Chicago · college life · kids today · thanks (but not really) · xoxo
Erin in Minneapolis found this note attached to a door in an apartment building of her then-boyfriend. (Whether or not this act of fate would later precipitate her own breakup remains unclear.)
Oh, and Mary? Paper is traditionally given as a gift for the first anniversary. Perhaps a note written on an empty soda can would have been more appropriate for your tenth?
related: desperately seeking closure
Tags: sig o · thanks (but not really)
This note appeared on the whiteboard in Whitney’s dorm room the day after she got in a fight with her roommate, Ashley, and accused her of using her friends. The note was written by Ashley’s cousin, Angela, and while addressed to “Ash,” seems more directed at the room’s other resident.
related: Facebook, a place for frenemies
Tags: Austin · college life · frenemies · mean girls · roommates · signed with love · whiteboard