Entries from July 2009
One lazy Sunday, when our anonymous submitter in Minneapolis spotted this bit of graphity on a wooden bridge at a park, “At first I thought it was sweet in a sad kind of way,” he says. But then he kept finding more — “on benches, picnic tables, even trees, and they got progressively more insane.”
And yet, as many questions as these notes raise, I’m sure we can all agree that whatever Keith’s wife did, IT HAD TO BE DONE.
Here, Keith’s wife really shows off her flair for language (which we got a brief glimpse of in her earlier “hot dog” opus.)
Then, evidently quite pleased with herself, Keith’s wife gives herself an encore on another bench.
related: to have and to hold
Tags: blitzkrieg approach · drugs · ex drama · heart · Minneapolis/St. Paul · money · WTF?
Andrea in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin says her friend McKenna woke up on her 19th birthday to find this note on the counter from Mom.
(You can tell it’s heartfelt because of the underlining.)
related: when a card just won’t do
Tags: birthday · Moms & Dads · Wisconsin
Exhibit a) Spotted at a laundromat in Silver Lake by Jessica in Los Angeles…
Exhibit b) From Ronnie’s Diner, also in LA.., by Valerie:
Exhibit c) From Barnacle Bill’s in Sarasota, Florida:
Exhibit d) From, as Miranda explains, ” the local ‘community thrift store’ in Dahlonega, Georgia, where everything is donated, and all the people who work there…are volunteers. Raising the prices to compensate for the volunteers’ efforts? Makes TONS of sense to me!”
But (because the decision had to be made) I would say that this final note — spotted by Rusty at a B&B in Newfoundland — is my absolute favorite.
related: When you can’t blame the dog
Tags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · confusion??? · excessive underlining · high on highlighter · laundry · passive voice · public shaming
Writes Emily in Austin: “In the notewriter’s defense, this machine has also given me regular Coke when I have pressed ‘Coke Zero’ on many an occasion, so when I saw this note, I thought I had figured it out. If I wanted Coke Zero, I just had to push the button for regular Coke. (I did…and it gave me regular Coke. Bitch!”) Meanwhile, on top of the machine was a can of Diet Coke and a can of Coke Zero with a note saying: ‘NOT Coke!’ After I took the picture, of course I took that Coke Zero and drank it.”
Diet Coke just can’t get no love…certainly not in Williamsburg, Virginia, as Grace from D.C. discovered.
related: the real thing
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Coke · Diet Coke · pleasantries as afterthought · vending machine drama · you're like so going to hell
While returning a long-lost battery charger, Kaitlin’s Dad echoes the sentiments of parents with adult children everywhere.
Meanwhile, Sarah in Greenville, S.C. shows the downside of giving in to parents’ nagging for unfettered access.
related: why you should not be facebook friends with your parents
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Facebook · Moms & Dads · San Francisco · signed with love · South Carolina
My favorite part of this landlord-chiropractor dispute in Brooklyn is the (professionally printed?) “tenant snuck out over the weekend” sign. How long has this landlord had that one in reserve?
Meanwhile, Dan in Dallas received this direct-mail don’t from a doc he’s dubbed “Dmitri the chiropractor.”
related: spinal manipulation
Tags: Brooklyn · Dallas/Fort Worth · landlords and property managers · message to all intended for one
Our anonymous submitter — a college student in Michigan — “borrowed” this note under the pretense of reading it to empathize with the recipient. “While the note itself is straight up aggressive,” she says, “I do know that it has followed months of passive-aggressiveness.” And most of these complaints, she says, are totally legit. “I’ve been in the adjoining room while she’s in the bathroom and it’s pretty offensive.”
related: Your new best friend
Tags: college life · hygiene · Michigan · noise · roommates · that's disgusting
“We’ve had trouble with our downstairs neighbors since we moved in,” says Sara in Madison. “Well, really just one of them, a woman in her fifties.” This neighbor’s most recent dose of crazy appeared in the mailbox Sara shares with her roommate (“Little Buddy,” in crazy lady-speak).
I kinda prefer this note without any explanation whatsoever, but if you’re still craving more, Sara explains…sort of. “I had, in fact, bought and put a nozzle on the outside hose so I could spray down an animal cage. We do not, needless to say, have parties in the laundry room. In fact, we’ve never had a party, ever, because we’re too afraid of her.”
related: sheena is a paintballer
Tags: CAPS LOCK · crazypants · neighbors · noise · old folks · Wisconsin
Kim in Canberra says this A3-sized missive was posted in numerous locations on all four floors of her building. Of this numbered list, I’d say #3 is what puts it over the top.
On a related note: Did you know the word “avocado” comes from the Aztec word for testicle? (Thanks, Wikipedia!)
related: Who moved my cheese?
extra credit: Someone is stealing avocados, and guac cops are on the case [nytimes.com]
Tags: Australia · Canberra · college life · martyr complex · office fridge · stealing · TL;DR
Let me stop you right there. Before you say anything else, have you consulted this sign, as spotted on the door of a souvenir shop by Angie in Seattle?
Or this one, as seen by Meghann outside a bar in San Francisco?
Well, then your questions will certainly be answered by my personal favorite, spotted by Jessie at a sandwich shop in Charlottesville, Virginia:
related: Listing in NOW Magazine’s adult classifieds? $70. Revenge?
Tags: "customer service" · Charlottesville · exclamation-point happy!!!! · San Francisco · Seattle · thanks (but not really) · Virginia