Got your halo?

Stopped in at the Last Gasp Saloon?

You’ve become no longer eligible for the census?

Ladies, when you’re undressing in your bedrooms tonight, remember to leave the drapes open. This way, should you suffer a heart attack or stroke, there’s a good chance that some safety-conscious gentleman will be observing you through binoculars, and he’ll be able to summon the appropriate rescuing agency.

SAVE A LIFE — LEAVE ‘EM OPEN! (SALLEO)

Because, frankly, if he was worried about the word Anniversary, he shouldn’t have been. Since it’s written right on the card itself, about half an inch or so above where he wrote it.

He just wanted a reaction from the submitter. I don’t think I like him very much. This, alone, shows he’s a bit of a jerk. I feel sorry for Caroline.

Gonna walk those golden streets? *snicker louder*

(i went tits up once, to a bar in union square. i got kicked out faster than you can say “two olives, please”)

Cashed in your chips?

Feed the worms?

Yes, let’s just hope that dearest Zach doesn’t know the secret (but amazing!) killing power of the water hemlock or poor Caroline will… you know… bite the dust, shuffle off this mortal coil, be a hearse pit-stop, meet her maker, put on a pair of concrete galoshes, what have you.