Writes Jaime in Austin: “My husband and I lift weights at Gold’s Gym and we love it (no, really!) — except for their new signage reminding people to mop up their sweat.”
Meanwhile, next door…
(Well, sort of.) Kathryn spotted this similarly understated/backhanded message in an upscale Orlando, Florida boutique.
related: Like a rotten sponge
92 responses so far ↓
#1
facek
You know, at first I didn’t think I could wipe down my sweat, but then I kept reading.
Jul 7, 2009 at 8:46 am rating: 36
#2
N/A
Team Management. I hate it when I see gross people trying on clothes. I’ve walked out of stores before after seeing someone come out of the changing room with a dirty faced and snot nosed child and a armful of clothes to return. Obviously I wash the stuff before I wear it anyway but still, eww!
Jul 7, 2009 at 8:52 am rating: 12
#3
claw71
Ah yes, Gold’s Gym: where feeling the burn might mean that you have a staph infection.
Jul 7, 2009 at 8:53 am rating: 50
#4
Phalange
But what fun would the gym be if I didn’t get to frolic in the taint sweat everyone leaves behind on the leg press machine? I love the pseudo-inspirational tone though. I think they need to make these signs to regulate all sorts of other douchey gym behavior as well. “Know that you don’t have to make homoerotic grunting noises when you lift (No really, you don’t)”
Jul 7, 2009 at 8:53 am rating: 58
#5
Rowdy
“Can I try this on?”
“Know you can’t!”
Jul 7, 2009 at 8:54 am rating: 45
#6
Black Kristos
I am not quite sure I’ve trained enough to wipe off the machines. Maybe in a few months I will have the confidence…
Jul 7, 2009 at 9:00 am rating: 16
#7
park rose
No fair trial in a chichi orlando, florida boutique; the clothing is hung out to dry.
Or hung out to be tried on by dry people.
Jul 7, 2009 at 9:02 am rating: 2
#8
claw71
I can appreciate the boutique (why don’t us guys have those, by the way?) not wanting sweaty ladies trying on their wares, but why limit it to the gym? What about the 220 pound 59 year-old Jewess snowbird from Jersey who insists on squeezing into a size 16? Isn’t the sludge that oozes out of her folds more offensive than a little circuit sweat? And how about that skinny little hottie who stinks of Tequila shooters and the unprotected sex she had with the tour bus drivers who were sucking them out of her belly button until the wee hours of the morning?
If you’re going to put up a sign, let’s cover all the bases.
Jul 7, 2009 at 9:07 am rating: 24
#9
stickman
Our gym provides towels, but after I saw someone blowing their nose on one… I bring my own.
Jul 7, 2009 at 9:07 am rating: 8
#10
park rose
For the ladies who just worked out next door, I’ll save you the brain power, this is the boutique next to it.
Jul 7, 2009 at 9:11 am rating: 5
#11
Thanks!
Because knowing is half the battle!
Team take a shower before trying on clothes next door!
Jul 7, 2009 at 9:23 am rating: 7
#12
stickman
If I work out somewhere else (not next door) can I try on clothes without showering???
Jul 7, 2009 at 9:29 am rating: 3
#13
Bob Loblaw
Ok, I’ll wipe off yer fucking machine.
Put I’m still going to take a whizz in the shower.
Jul 7, 2009 at 9:30 am rating: 11
#14
J0sie
What if I showered but didn’t towel off? Can I come into your store soaking wet and start trying on your clothes?
Jul 7, 2009 at 9:31 am rating: 2
#15
oi!
The first larger than life sign confirms my belief that physical workout is only for mentally challenged people. Know you have to compensate somehow. [Not really]
Jul 7, 2009 at 9:36 am rating: 8
#16
park rose
I’m not really sure why, but note one and note two are like toilet humour versus dry wit/deapan –
Know your own strength is a non-subtle reference to body odour; the sign is huge and as in your face as the puddles of sweat left behind by the grunting, farting, perspiring patrons. The writing is in gold, because of course it is Gold’s gym, but is also indicative of an inflated sense of importance. The sign is very blue too, suggestive of water. Gold’s gym doesn’t really want people to mop up their sweat. They want people to produce more of it, to revel in it, to make bodily function jokes about it on a passive aggressive website.
Sign two, austere in comparison, starts with an all encompassing greeting. Doesn’t use exclamation marks, nor smileys – gets straight to the point in a barbed polite manner, and is signed off with thanks. It uses black type on a plain orange/nectarine A4 piece of paper easily bought from anywhere, tastefully colour co-ordinated to the warm dry autumn tones of the change rooms.
Benny Hill versus Bill Hicks.
Jul 7, 2009 at 10:04 am rating: 10
#17
green mamba
If my gym posted this sign, someone would have to tape a note to it saying “Know you can provide full bottles of disinfectant and dry towels. No really, you can.”
I don’t see why the gym is complaining. There’s nothing like a burning, itching staph infection to make you feel alive and to give your immune system a nice workout. Why should your legs and abs be the only part of your body being exercised at the gym? I know I feel stronger from having survived the MRSA I got at the gym.
Jul 7, 2009 at 10:21 am rating: 8
#18
Neeners
Check out the super sweaty guy in the background of the Gold’s picture. I think the sign refers specifically to him.
Jul 7, 2009 at 10:24 am rating: 5
#19
Peonia
In the second note, only the words you should read are in bold.
“Notice
Please, please do not try on any clothing.”
The rest is clearly bullshit.
Jul 7, 2009 at 10:35 am rating: 5
#20
Bob Loblaw
‘ladies, if you work out next door and no shower, no try clothes’
instead, ask for the manager so i can smell yer sweaty lady bits
Jul 7, 2009 at 12:03 pm rating: 3
#21
Andy
This is why it should be spelled “knowtice”.
Jul 7, 2009 at 12:18 pm rating: 4
#22
T imo®
No sweat, know Jesus but you can try on the frocks!
Jul 7, 2009 at 12:22 pm rating: 2
#23
Howie Feltersnatch
I like to leave my sweat splashed about. People can smell it and know I was there.
Jul 7, 2009 at 3:38 pm rating: 1
#24
Matt
You know you’re a big franchise if you can afford to be passive aggressive. The boutique is just being snobby.
Jul 7, 2009 at 3:59 pm rating: 3
#25
Snippy
What’s all the commotion about? In the second note, the Orlando boutique is simply making the helpful suggestion that women who have just finished working out will feel cooler and dry off faster if they dispense with wearing any clothing.
I think that this boutique deserves our support. What’s the address again, so I can thank them in person?
Jul 7, 2009 at 4:35 pm rating: 2
#26
Neeners
Obvious disdain by both business owners for the people who make it possible for them to make a living in the first place.
Excessive use of ladies in the second note leads some thinking that the boutique owner is really calling them dirty. “Dear ladies… Please ladies…”
The love hate relationship is what makes it a fun read. The notes are like “we greatly appreciate your patronage you ignorant sweaty sloppy disgusting people, but please don’t touch anything. No really.”
Jul 7, 2009 at 4:54 pm rating: 6
#27
Robert
No, it makes sense… if a sweaty person tries on some clothes, decides they don’t want them, and puts them back on the rack, the next person won’t want to buy them either because they’ll be covered in some random person’s sweat. It would smell terrible.
Jul 7, 2009 at 5:30 pm rating: 2
#28
T imo®
…And the winner of the gold medal at the PAN Olympics is…
Jul 7, 2009 at 5:58 pm rating: 1
#29
aaa
So, would it be okay for the men to try on their clothes right after working out? Or are they just assuming the cross-dressers are more conscious of their level of stank than the ladies are?
Jul 7, 2009 at 7:58 pm rating: 5
#30
grammer Nazi
Dumbass yanks. Can’t spell for shit.
Lern two spel!
Jul 8, 2009 at 7:47 am rating: 0
#31
tom
The second sign is not passive aggressive at all. It’s just a request. A pretty good request too, since skanky sweat pigs trying on clothes is a real issue in a clothing store.
Jul 9, 2009 at 5:42 pm rating: 1
#32
shane
Only some lazy b*tch who doesn’t wipe up her sweat at a gym would have a problem with a sign like that. Hmm – maybe she goes to mine.
Jul 10, 2009 at 8:14 am rating: 0
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