Writes our anonymous submitter: “This was sent to my 6-year-old step daughter by her grandma. The birthday present in question was a pack of writing paper and $5 American. We live in canada.”
(The “did you get…” pretense combined with the oh-so-subtle post script is so classic “passive-aggressive grandma” that I cannot even handle it. Bonus points for the repurposed note paper!)
Meanwhile, Toni spotted this grandma’s thank you note on a closed booth at a flea market in Lakewood, Ohio.
related: but…but…i didn’t forget!
253 responses so far ↓
#1
tinkerbell2
I don’t often say this, but team Grandma – ungrateful little shit. Also, I love her notepaper – very retro/Olde English.
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:15 am rating: +19
#2
KatieMB
I bow to the second Gramma’s P/A-ness, though I am concerned that Gramma’s missed the target audience, since they’re so busy enjoying the spoils of being a bigwig.
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:18 am rating: +13
#3
Arielemc
Team Grandma – Parents, teach your kids to write thank-you notes, regardless of how lame the gift is!
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:30 am rating: +10
#4
jessie
Gotta side with grandma on this one!
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:34 am rating: +4
#5
claw71
The beauty of the first note is that it’s clearly aimed at mom. Nobody expects a 6 year-old to fire off a thank you note, not even cheap grandmothers who live on a fixed income.
As for disgruntled grammaw #2, there this word people use when they can’t or don’t want to do something. I’ve been to Lakewood and I know for a fact that they use it there. You’ve all said it at one time or another. Come on, say it with me. It’s just two little letters…
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:36 am rating: +35
#6
HappyNat
It is awful that grandma #2 had to spend a weekend with her grandkids. I’m sure she would have been much happier alone and bitter in her apartment wacthing home shopping network all weekend, rather than deal with her pesky family.
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:37 am rating: +37
#7
Woman on the Verge
(On the back of Grandma’s notepaper – and yes, 6 year olds in my neighborhood are all tech savvy)
Dear Gramma,
Got the stuff. Tweeted my thanx. Rote U on facebook. U would no if U were livin in this century.
love,
Wired Kid
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:38 am rating: +56
#8
park rose
Grandma 2 was trying to make her point by quadrupling her ‘o’s, doubling her prepositions and her emoticons, but if she really wanted to drive home what a burden grandma duty was, she should written as so:
All I got was this loooong weekend of of
All I got was this loooooooong weekend of of of of
grandma duty with with [she may as well go the whole hog with the prepositions] two teenage
grandma duty with with with with two x two teenage teenage
kids who did not get to to go along along
kids who did not get to to to to go along along along along
[and who do not get along, either... guess who's stuck with them!]
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:38 am rating: +6
#9
Girl Friday
Indy 500 tickets – 40 hours of overtime
Lap around the track – landing the big customer
Hospitality Suites, etc. – Blow job for the boss
Finally getting back at Mom for grounding me when I was supposed to go to the Wham! concert in 1988 – Priceless
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:45 am rating: +89
#10
claw71
Dear Grammie,
Thank you so much for the K-Mart Trax shoes. Even though they’re too small and both are for the left foot, I like them anyway. Of course even if they were the right size and one of the left shoes was replaced with a right I’d have to buy laces as the shoes you sent didn’t have any. But really, thank you. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have a grandmother like you. I suppose I’d probably stop getting presents that go straight to the garbage, like the Chinese knock off of Play-Doh you bought at Big Lots last Christmas, but no matter what mom and dad say about you I think you’re great.
Love,
Princess
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:49 am rating: +45
#11
park rose
Grandma 2 spent a good part of her loooong weekend writing that note in 3 (4?) different colours and also ye olde manual style of bold emphasis.
Grandma 1 is an outright bitch.
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:51 am rating: +17
#12
stickman
Go Team Grandma #1.
Yes, a six year old can draw a picture or at least copy the words “Thank you.” Sorry, an email, tweet or facebook thank you is not sufficent. I am a tech savvy gran and I get handwritten notes and pictures, but then I raised my children right and they are passing those values along to their children.
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:52 am rating: +7
#13
GhostWriter
A $5 gift for a 6-year-old? What can she get with that; five iTunes? Thanks a pantload, Gamma- I got a free card from a Lucky Charms cereal box for the same thing!
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:53 am rating: +16
#14
Flaboy2425
Hey, daughter five bucks is five bucks. I don’t know what the exchange rate is now, but take it to your local bank and get your own Canadian money. There is none down here in the US. The six-year-old can’t write yet, so do it for her.
Didn’t I teach you that the thought counts more than the gift, you selfish little snot?
Jul 8, 2009 at 8:59 am rating: +10
#15
oi!
there is a striking difference between hand wrings of two notes. (I could not get it was “thank you” until I read comments) That follows one observation. When you become grandma you sprinkle PAness everywhere. It’s inherent trait of old ladies. It does not matter if you are a stiff old lady with gold plated cane or little old lady reeking of urine. you have to let people know how ungrateful they are.
Jul 8, 2009 at 9:02 am rating: +18
#16
Bob Loblaw
god fucking damn it Indy grandma, it’s fucking accommodation, not accomodation.
btw, i’d leave your sorry ass with two teens for a dirty w/e with the wife at the Indy 500. you might have been invited in place of da wife if you hadnt been such a beee-otch.
Jul 8, 2009 at 9:08 am rating: +3
#17
oi
What’s up with second note in some booth? for all public to see?
i know it’s a grand scheme from her. She put note there so obviously the daughter is going to be angry. She won’t thank her probably confront her. yes now comes brilliancy of the scheme in the light. Grandma will yet put another note showing how she baby set her grandkids and in turn she got spat from her daughter and not the thank you. How pitiful her life is and how ungrateful is her daughter!
Bravo!
Jul 8, 2009 at 9:12 am rating: +5
#18
GhostWriter
You know you’re a big girl when Grandma’s birthday gift becomes a holy card promising that a Novena will be prayed in your honor by the St. Ann Sisters of Perpetual Gratuity.
Jul 8, 2009 at 9:14 am rating: +15
#19
T imo®
Ah the sweet sweet embrace of family that chokes the desire to be around each other right out of you.
Jul 8, 2009 at 9:20 am rating: +8
#20
subito
“No” is still part of the language Grandma….quit your bitching, you did it to yourself.
Jul 8, 2009 at 9:28 am rating: +8
#21
Neeners
I bet Grandma still sends more gifts and/or dollars in birthday cards after this, so why get her granny panties in a wad. Either you love the kids or not. Quit sending or doing things if they know it won’t be reciprocated or appreciated.
Jul 8, 2009 at 9:47 am rating: +12
#22
MAMARILLA2
The word Grandma does not mean Automatic Babysitter. If granny had put her foot down when the sweethearts were tiny, she wouldn’t be having to watch two angsty teenagers now.
Jul 8, 2009 at 9:47 am rating: +10
#23
Neeners
Second grandma is ready to pop a blood vessel at the next family picnic or Christmas dinner.
Jul 8, 2009 at 9:52 am rating: +3
#24
Wordtinker doesnt smith
Praises be! I’m a grandparentless wretch and now I know why I’m so happy!
Btw – the note was set up by the daughter, not Gramma#2, her DT’s are too bad for legibility – obvious fish for fellow vendors to check in over the weekend and make sure Gramma hasn’t harmed the children so Mom & Dad won’t have to deal with a protracted DCFS investigation when they return.
Jul 8, 2009 at 9:59 am rating: +5
#25
lolsuz
Count me on Team Grandma #1 too. Kids aren’t taught to write thank you notes in school; that’s the jurisdiction of their PARENTS. So this is a double dig- one on the grand child but also one on the parent. I’m grateful that my mother cared enough about my upbringing to make sure that I learned to thank someone for a gift or favor- no matter how small. Gratitude and perspective are greater gifts than anything you can wrap in paper.
Oh, and Neeners, teaching your child to send thank you notes isn’t just about making sure the giver was thanked, it’s mostly about teaching your child to have the CHARACTER to do the right thing.
PS: what child can’t draw a picture and write the words “thank you” by the time they’re six? The child who is raised by the television, that’s who.
Jul 8, 2009 at 9:59 am rating: +8
#26
snerd
@Claw: I like Cake.
Jul 8, 2009 at 10:04 am rating: 0
#27
Wordtinker doesnt smith
Dearest Grandma,
I am so sorry you did not receive the thank you note I sent. To be sure I got your mailing address correct, I cut it off your envelope and carefully pasted it on the front of the note I sent. The postal service just returned it as undeliverable with a notice that no one could read your handwriting. I’ll try, try again.
Love,
Your only grandchild
Jul 8, 2009 at 10:18 am rating: +15
#28
chrissmari
i love how angry people are getting about thank you notes as if it’s 1923.
i can not wait until thank you note culture is bred out of us.
Jul 8, 2009 at 10:23 am rating: +18
#29
Julie B.
As for Grandma #2, my mom died before her six grandchildren were born, which broke all of our hearts, hers included. So maybe Grandma #2 should stop bitching and start being thankful she lived long enough to know her grandchildren, even if right now they are cranky teenagers.
Jul 8, 2009 at 10:26 am rating: +10
#30
Robert Synnott
Note that granny’s notepaper depicts an illegal activity.
Jul 8, 2009 at 10:54 am rating: +6
#31
mel
Dear Grandma,
I don’t like writing ‘thank you’ notes. Please don’t send any more presents until the ‘thank you’ note policy changes.
Respectfully,
little timmy
Jul 8, 2009 at 11:23 am rating: +20
#32
lolli
Grammy #2 attached her PA note to a cookie sheet with unhappy face magnets (indicative of the types of notes she usually displays?). Perhaps she should bake for the little darlings.
Jul 8, 2009 at 11:30 am rating: +2
#33
aaa
How horrible and rambunctious are these grandkids if they’re teenagers and can’t be left alone for a weekend? :O
Jul 8, 2009 at 11:38 am rating: +6
#34
Jamie
My niece could write at 6. It wasn’t much, but she could write basic kid sentences like “I love you”. She could write anything with instruction, like if someone were to spell out, oh, I don’t know, “Thank you grammy.”
If nothing else, why didn’t stepmom (who was quick to point out the “step” part) pick up the phone and help her call?
Jul 8, 2009 at 11:42 am rating: +3
#35
aaa
P.S.
Do they teach people how to wish me a happy fucking birthday in school?
;D
Jul 8, 2009 at 11:43 am rating: +5
#36
xs
“XOXO grandma.”
Gossip Girl is a senior citizen??!!?
Jul 8, 2009 at 12:02 pm rating: +11
#37
Missy
First off, love the stationary.
Second, I TRY to write thank you notes, I try.
Third, it makes me think of my dear Grandma. She lived far away from me and when I was 6ish I asked (in all new handwriting excitement), “How come you do note write me letters?”. Her response: “Well, if you expect to get letters you should send out letters yourself!”
Jul 8, 2009 at 12:04 pm rating: +5
#38
claw71
It’s got to be a Cleveland thing because most mothers would be pretty damned happy if their daughter married a fancy-pants big wig who gets the VIP treatment when he travels. Granted nobody likes to get saddled with the responsibility of watching teenagers (unless they happen to girls in which case I’ll happily volunteer), but what’s with the bitter resentment? Is grandma pissed because her Polish Catholic daughter married that rich Jewish boy from Beechwood rather than that Koslowski kid with the good union job at the machine shop over on West 85th?
Jul 8, 2009 at 12:12 pm rating: +8
#39
saffronlee
I’m for Team Grandma, too.
If the kid is 6, she’s probably been sending gifts for at least 5 years now — obviously with no response.
The parent (and step-parent) ought to know better.
Plus Grandma likely sent gifts the whole time that parent was growing up too — so that’s at least another 18 years of gift giving for that kid.
So all together that’s 20+ years of giving — without a thank you note.
Jul 8, 2009 at 12:13 pm rating: +2
#40
Stephanie
Yeah, using American money in Canada is usually not a problem, and if it is it’s easily exchanged at any bank.
As for thank-you notes, I am not speaking for Canada as a whole, but in my whole life I have never written, receieved or even seen a thank-you note for a birthday present. We just either thank in person or on the phone. The only exception I’ve seen to this is weddings and funerals.
Jul 8, 2009 at 12:17 pm rating: +6
#41
OhSnap!
the important thing to remember: grandmas are people too… bitter, hateful, old people.
Jul 8, 2009 at 12:58 pm rating: +15
#42
xs
No they don’t teach thank-you notes in school, Grandma, but please keep sending money so I can afford to go to my dream school Thank-You Notes University when I turn 18.
Jul 8, 2009 at 1:38 pm rating: +11
#43
Melodie
My grandma on my mom’s side had a zero tolerance policy about thank-you notes/phone calls. If you fucked her over on that one time, no matter how old you were, you never got a gift from her again.
My grandma on my dad’s side never expressed an opinion about it either way, but she did once beat my dad unconscious with a ukulele for missing curfew, so maybe she figured you wouldn’t need telling on the “thank-you notes” score.
Jul 8, 2009 at 1:57 pm rating: +6
#44
T.U.M.
Sure, it’s rude to not acknowledge a gift (note or phone call) but it’s ten times ruder to point out that you haven’t gotten a thank-you note. If nothing else, isn’t that just sinking to the ingrate’s level?
I agree that the note’s really meant for Mom – if the kid knew to write a note, she probably would have. So, it should have been sent to Mom. How messed-up is it to make a six-year-old feel guilty for something she probably didn’t know she was supposed to do?
Grandma #2 obviously thinks she should have been invited along.
Jul 8, 2009 at 2:08 pm rating: +17
#45
LoveShoes
The first one reminds me of my now dead Grandmother when she had stage one Alzhiemers. Sad. The second one reminds of my mother.
Jul 8, 2009 at 2:08 pm rating: +1
#46
gamergf
A pun could be made about Grandmas and loonies…
Jul 8, 2009 at 2:35 pm rating: +2
#47
anglophile
Hi. I’m anglophile and I don’t write thank-you notes.
A thank-you call or e-mail is sufficient.
Jul 8, 2009 at 2:58 pm rating: +8
#48
queeenbeee
The parents should teach this child the common courtest of saying Thank you! Go Grandma!
Jul 8, 2009 at 3:48 pm rating: +1
#49
farcical aquatic ceremony involving 'taking care of' Caroline...
They taught me how to write thank you notes in school. They were fuckin’ delicious.
(really???? I was the first to fucking enjoy fucking deliciousness today???)
; )
Jul 8, 2009 at 4:41 pm rating: +1
#50
rachel
I live in Lakewood so I’m pretty pumped about the last one.
Jul 8, 2009 at 6:45 pm rating: +1
#51
Jesse and the Rippers
Grandma #1: I approve. That little girl needs to learn her manners, since apparently her parents aren’t teaching her.
Grandma #2: Get down off the cross, Granny. Unless your daughter dropped the kids off without warning in the dead of night, you agreed.
Jul 8, 2009 at 7:24 pm rating: +1
#52
fluffy8u
Advice to Grandma #2:
Just beat those teens with an extension cord. That’ll make them shut up (and if you beat them extra hard, you can get them to do stuff for you like make you a margarita and clean your bunions).
Jul 8, 2009 at 7:29 pm rating: +2
#53
Goldie
As a mother of a 13yo and a 16yo, I really wonder – What the fvck is so hard about watching (?) teenagers?? how tough can it be to spend three days under the same roof with two people who can stay home alone, buy and cook their own food, run errands around the neighborhood, mow the lawn, do household work, and won’t bother you if you just give them some privacy and an Xbox”??? C’mon Lakewood Grandma, fess up – you’re only mad because you were looking forward to a dirty weekend in Hilton with your hawt son-in-law. You naughty cougar, you.
Oh, and. I’d rather scratch my eyes out with a hospitality-suite spork than go to a car race.
Jul 8, 2009 at 11:13 pm rating: +8
#54
Goldie
Am I the only one who imagines Evelyn Harper from “Two and a Half Men” when reading the first note? I can seriously hear her voice saying these words. “Do they teach thank-you notes in school, Jake?”
Jul 8, 2009 at 11:19 pm rating: +4
#55
agatha christie
Note number one reminds me of my living grandma, the one who consistently tells me that “it would be nice to get a phone call from you sometimes” and yet hasn’t called me on purpose in the last six months. Sure, she’ll call me on accident because my name is next to my aunt’s in her phone (or she means to call my mom, even though our names don’t start with the same letter), but call me with the express purpose to talking to me? Yeah right.
She’s also one of those gift-givers who always demanded a thank-you letter in return. I feel like yes, a thank-you letter is only right and proper, but to demand one after giving a gift is bad form.
Jul 8, 2009 at 11:37 pm rating: +3
#56
fluffy8u
That last notes sounds like “My daughter and her husband went to Indy 500, VIP style, and all I got was a long weekend with their two bratty teenagers.”
Jul 9, 2009 at 1:35 am rating: +2
#57
April
Kinda have to agree with the grandma. I hate when I send people presents and they never even let me know it got there so I wonder if the post office screwed me and lost it. My mom taught me to always write thank you notes and I do get a little pissed when I don’t get them. The great thing about thank you notes is the more you write the more stuff people want to give you, true story because they feel appreciated.
So I guess I am going to be that grandma in 25 years because if my sons can’t teach my grandkids to write thank you notes, I am going to teach them. Probably in a less passive aggressive way though.
Jul 9, 2009 at 6:12 am rating: 0
#58
April
I sent something like Note 1 to my sister in law. Except it wasn’t passive. I outright told her off because I have sent super nice presents to my nieces for 3 years and never got a verbal thank you, a phone call thank you, an email thank you or a written thank you. The witch could not even return my phone call when I called and left a voicemail asking if the present got there. So I was always wondering if they even got it, if they liked the gift, etc.
The last straw was when I finally mailed the gift with return receipt when she had to sign for it, so at least I would KNOW she got the gift this time. Oh but that witch got me again. She missed the initial delivery and then REFUSED to go pick the gift up at the post office. It sat there for two months till I finally had them send it back to me. How ungrateful can you get?
So I emailed her and told her off and said her kids are never being invited to my kids’ awesome birthday parties anymore and I will never send her kids a gift again because I can only take so much abuse before I crack. She would always chunk 20 dollars in a card last minute as gifts for my 2 year olds…..yeah what 2 year old knows what 20 dollars is? So while their cousins opened up super cool toys from me, they sat there holding a 20 dollar bill and wondering why their toy was so unfun….
Jul 9, 2009 at 6:39 am rating: +3
#59
=David
Pff. I live in Indianapolis. The Stutz museum is nothing to write home about. And if this guy was really a bigwig, he’d be staying at the Conrad, not the Hilton.
Jul 9, 2009 at 11:06 am rating: +2
#60
Chris
Mom should be slapped for not having her child learn that gifts are to be acknowledged upon receipt. A six year old can write “thanks grandma” or dictate a letter to Mom to write.
The most interesting part is the mother sends THIS to a web site when she should be humiliated for having grandma remind her to teach her kid some manners. Obviously she feels no shame.
Way to go…
Jul 9, 2009 at 2:27 pm rating: 0
#61
Mustangcub
I love where she makes the Hilton sound like they are staying at the Ritz. LOL, “no motels for bigwigs” LMAO
Jul 10, 2009 at 1:53 am rating: 0
#62
Lizzy
ok, in the first place, why didn’t the grama give the kid her present IN PERSON!!!??? isn’t that what makes birthdays wonderful, seeing the people who matter most spoiling you to death? also, the grama needs to get over not getting a thank you note. im 14 and i JUST started sending out thank you cards. usually the people who gave me presents were at a birthday party. so, jesus, grama, build a bridge and GET THE HELL OVER IT! gramas get their feelings hurt to much. seriously, they’ve been alive long enough to know that with life comes disappointments. she should just wait until the kid gets older and is actually ABLE to write a thank you note. as for the mom, well, who knows? maybe she had too much going on to write a thank you note? i find the fault in the grama, so im on Team 6 Year Old Kid.
on the second one: who the FUCK cares about some random persons problems? yeah its funny but why for the love of all that is holy would someone write that down?
Jul 10, 2009 at 10:07 am rating: +3
#63
anon
What would be even funnier is if the kid’s mom had the forethought to at least call since note writing is out of the kid’s capability. I make my kids call all the time instead of notes. They can at least talk to Grammy that way.
My Gramgram taught me about thank you notes because my mother never did them. One thing she stressed that was so much more important than the note itself is to NEVER point out someone forgot to send one. A polite call or letter saying “Did you receive my gift? I want to make sure it got to you ok.” is ok but NEVER shove it in someone’s face or heaven forbid, use it as an excuse to be nasty to to gift receiver. That’s just abusing the note giving system.
Jul 10, 2009 at 1:10 pm rating: +2
#64
C J
Sorry why is this just the Mothers fault? People keep saying “the Mom should have done this”
Why is the Mom usually blamed and why didn’t the Dad teach the kid about thank you notes?
Jul 23, 2009 at 4:45 pm rating: +6
#65
ethel
Team Grandma on both counts. And 6-year-olds can write or pick up the phone, can’t they? In my day…
Jul 27, 2009 at 6:23 am rating: 0
#66
Elaine
It’s sort of a given that grandparents always give us crappy gifts. Five bucks and writting paper? She got lucky. My grandma once gave me one pair of panties for Christmas. True story.
Aug 1, 2009 at 1:09 pm rating: 0
#67
crazybeachcat
first grandma: annoying, nagging, lonely old lady. jesus christ, reading that note irritated the hell out of me. does she have lots of cats? i hope so, because that’s likely going to be the only companionship she’s gonna have if she keeps this bullshit up. i’m all about manners (i have a 7-year-old and have been making him do his own thank-yous since he learned to write) but that’s just not the norm anymore…for kids and adults. that doesn’t make it right, so i don’t know exactly what my point is. whatever. anyway, she should have said something to a parent first instead of sending a 6-year-old a hardcore guilt note. i bet that poor girl totally hates grandma.
second grandma: bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter, jealous bitch!!! are you fucking serious? you’d think she’d be happy for her daughter to be able to enjoy something fun like that, guess not though. i bet grandpa left her ass a looooong time ago and she’s all kinds of pissed off that her daughter’s doing cool shit that she never got to do and still married and all that good stuff. and i doubt grandma had a damn gun put to her head and forced to take the grandkids that she obviously can’t stand. she’s that god-awful annoying lady who does shit just so she can whine and get sympathy from other people because poor, poor thing, she’s always so put upon. hell, she probably BEGGED to keep the grandkids just so she could make everyone at bingo feel sorry for her or something.
Aug 8, 2009 at 9:21 pm rating: 0
#68 my condolences on your birthday
[...] dear grandma — thanks, i guess; how i “did” my [...]
Sep 16, 2009 at 8:29 pm rating: 0
#69
H2Ik
Dear Grandma,
There were no lessons about thank you notes in school. They were much too busy teaching us penmanship and proper capitalization.
Love,
Grandson
P.S. Thank you for the present. It was delicious .
Sep 17, 2009 at 4:11 pm rating: +1
#70
mirain
Haha, those notes remind me of my grandparents and aunt. If they did not receive a thank-you note for their crappy gifts on the first possible day the USPS could have gotten it to them they wrote or called to complain. And then when I did write they criticized my handwriting. Wonder why I didn’t feel more grateful…
Sep 18, 2009 at 10:34 am rating: 0
Leave a Comment