Writes Amy in Canada: “Part of my job (as a civilian employed by the Canadian Armed Forces) is to install or repair network services out to remote areas of our training area. Here are a few of the notes I saw while puttering around with my cabling and switches.”
happy (very) belated canada day!
related: (don’t?) wash your ass in the sink
105 responses so far ↓
#1
you suck at craigslist
If you paint the wrong side of the board, do you still have to update it?
Jul 10, 2009 at 10:53 am rating: +12
#2
jenny h
I knew there were British spellings, such as favourite and colour, but I was unaware of any speciall Canadian spellings. Look who’s a “geneous” now!
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:00 am rating: +6
#3
Orelse
I’ve tried to get to all those outpostings, but it the coffee cups stoped me.
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:09 am rating: +3
#4
Autist-Tree
I have a going? But what’s that exactly? Other than my English Language Abuse Alert going off, I mean…
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:18 am rating: +3
#5
Wordtinker doesnt smith
Unless someone sets a coffee cup on it, then all you have to do is clean up, as opposed to cleaning down, which negates the need for wiping away cleaning fluid rivulets.
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:22 am rating: +3
#6
Kelly
This is why Canada will never be a world power.
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:22 am rating: +13
#7
Devika
The “geneous” note writer has the penmanship of a 6 year old.
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:24 am rating: +1
#8
Wordtinker doesnt smith
#5 was supposed to nest under 1.1 and now I can’t get the editor to work.
AAARGH!
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:25 am rating: +1
#9
Party in my Pants
ASSwell is the bored updater.
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:30 am rating: +4
#10
T imo®
Was the ale out of the coffee cups eh!
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:37 am rating: +3
#11
aaa
Aswell sounds like something I saw when I got caught in a pornado once…
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:38 am rating: +18
#12
QuarterRoy00
That first one looks like it was written in a 2nd grade penmanship class.
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:44 am rating: +1
#13
park rose
Genus writing about painterus on the wrong side of the boardus commonly uses the superfluous, and optional ‘eo’ or ‘ea’…its interest in genealogy encourages such predilections.
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:46 am rating: +2
#14
aaa
Geneous just seems like the adjective form of that anime company Geneon.
/nerd>
(*sigh* Can’t even do the fake HTML tag right. XP )
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:48 am rating: +5
#15
park rose
We all know the different spellings, pronunciations and usages that abound in the English language, as has been stated above:
jewelry
jewellery
apartment
flat
and so on…
Asswipe
Aswell
It’s just a little more polite.
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:51 am rating: +5
#16
claw71
From the offace of Kernal Cannuck: A Memmerandam.
To: All Canadian Armed Fources
Re: Promotion of Sargint Aswell
Affective emeeditlee, Sargint Aswell will be promoted to Master Sargint. In his compassity he will also serve as the Sargint of the Board. Aswell will be responsible for verifying and posting all changes to the board and ordering that all other boards be sincronized with the main board.
Going forward all board updates must be given to Master Sargint Aswell no later than fore days befor posting.
that is all. Eh
Jul 10, 2009 at 11:57 am rating: +22
#17
ClearlyDemented
I think the second ‘note’ writer is the true ‘geneus’.
Exhibit A: It’s a board. Is there a wrong side?
Exhibit B: S/he uses brackets as parentheses.
Case closed.
Jul 10, 2009 at 12:09 pm rating: +1
#18
leftfoot
Calling someone a “geneous” is about as classic as telling someone they’re a “bich”.
Jul 10, 2009 at 12:10 pm rating: +4
#19
Charlotte Lincoln
People shouldn’t write words they can’t spell. It undermines their point instantly. If I’d painted the wrong side of the board, I wouldn’t care after I got that note.
Jul 10, 2009 at 12:13 pm rating: +4
#20
Wade
Let’s hope Orelse takes updating more sereously than Aswell!
Jul 10, 2009 at 12:17 pm rating: +6
#21
Woman on the Verge
And the final jeopardy category:
Things that start with Ass:
What is Asswipe?
What is Asshole?
What is Asspanda?
What is Asshat?
What is Asswell?
Jul 10, 2009 at 12:19 pm rating: +2
#22
Laura
It’s gratifying to see that Americans aren’t the only ones who can’t speel.
Jul 10, 2009 at 12:37 pm rating: +4
#23
David
If your going to make changes in here!! First, learn proper grammar. And leave Aswell alone, for God’s sake!
Jul 10, 2009 at 1:10 pm rating: +3
#24
Bob Loblaw
I didn’t think you needed to spell in the army.
Thought it was mostly:
Point gun at bad guy
Pull trigger
Wait for bad guy to fall over
Repeat
Jul 10, 2009 at 1:33 pm rating: +3
#25
Gunderson105
“Our Lord and savior scattered about coffee cups, then bellowed from the heavens above: ‘Thou painted the wrong side of the board.’ ”
–Geneous 3:12
Jul 10, 2009 at 1:39 pm rating: +23
#26
Neeners
Allswell that endswell aswell.
Jul 10, 2009 at 1:42 pm rating: +18
#27
The Grammarphile
I recall learning about those “geneous” things in science class a long time ago…although I seem to remember it being spelled like “genus.”
Hmmm, doesn’t a species name also go along with the genus? In this case, I guess these mistakes were made by a Misspellerus idiotus. And I’m pretty sure that a Misspellerus idiotus is NOT a GENIUS…not by a long shot…
Jul 10, 2009 at 1:51 pm rating: +4
#28
claw71
I do love when people try to leave condescending messages only to misspell the money shot in the most ironic of twits. All the variations of genius are classic, but it’s really funny when they inadvertently get scientific and use “genus”. Brilliant. Another personal favorite is when somebody spells “dummy” d-u-m-b-y.
It’s like a nymphomaniac slut calling another woman a whore. Who’s worse: The woman who sleeps around or the one with the presence of mind to charge for it? The knucklehead who painted the wrong side of the board or the Sharpie-toting doofus who wasn’t smart enough to realize he has no idea how to spell genius?
Signs and wonders, my friends, signs and wonders.
Jul 10, 2009 at 1:56 pm rating: +15
#29
Guy Smiley
Aswell sounds like someone’s butler.
“Aswell, update the board. There’s a good fellow.”
“Certainly, sir.”
Jul 10, 2009 at 2:32 pm rating: +10
#30
TP
My going will make changes in here aslong as I want it to! Mind your own busyness about my going!!! Or I will mess up your coffee cups and will make you scream like a girl as a matter ofcourse!!!
Jul 10, 2009 at 3:23 pm rating: +2
#31
ryanmalloy
They have always denied it! But it is true!
The aliens who have crashed at Aswell do exist!
Their grammar and spelling seem crude, but they have managed to get their message published on the Internet!
We’re doomed!
Jul 10, 2009 at 3:45 pm rating: +5
#32
Michael Jackson's Brain
The Canadian army is bilingual, so perhaps it is just a bad translation from french to english
Jul 10, 2009 at 3:47 pm rating: +1
#33
Boostershot
these notes aren’t so much passive aggressive as they are just idiotic.
Jul 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm rating: 0
#34
david
never reading anything saves me from reading the wrong side of the board, cleaning up coffee cups, etc
Jul 12, 2009 at 1:56 am rating: 0
#35
Clumber
This PAN submission has me so confused I am considering calling in sick tomorrow. Though I am now also considering renaming our singleton pup “Aswell”. (His current puppyname is Yuri).
My spouse is running for the board in an election… so is she who needs to update it if changes? Wait… what? Which ones? and which side?
Hold me… my brain, it hurts!
Jul 13, 2009 at 6:05 pm rating: 0
#36
Shayner
I think I’ve seen better penmanship and spelling skills on bathroom walls of bars and gas stations. Actually, no. They’re about the same.
Jul 24, 2009 at 5:35 pm rating: 0
#37
Monica
Aswell?? Genous??? Is this some kind of Canadian dialect I am not aware of?!?
Jul 29, 2009 at 7:36 pm rating: 0
#38
ana
yeah, friends, spelling police here. i love your website. all of these notes are hilarious, but incidentally, just so you know, “graphity” is actually spelled GRAFFITI. might wanna change your tag/section…
Aug 9, 2009 at 10:52 pm rating: 0
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