Your a geneous

July 10th, 2009 · 105 comments

Writes Amy in Canada: “Part of my job (as a civilian employed by the Canadian Armed Forces) is to install or repair network services out to remote areas of our training area. Here are a few of the notes I saw while puttering around with my cabling and switches.”

IF YOUR GOING TO MAKE CHANGES IN HERE!!

your a geneous

happy (very) belated canada day!

related: (don’t?) wash your ass in the sink

FILED UNDER: Canada · military · spelling and grammar police


105 responses so far ↓

  • #1   you suck at craigslist

    If you paint the wrong side of the board, do you still have to update it?

    Jul 10, 2009 at 10:53 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   jaywalke

      Only aswell asyou painted

      Jul 10, 2009 at 11:01 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   shmandace

      …Only if you clean up the coffee cups. Geez!

      Jul 11, 2009 at 6:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   jenny h

    I knew there were British spellings, such as favourite and colour, but I was unaware of any speciall Canadian spellings. Look who’s a “geneous” now!

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:00 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   ryanmalloy

      Special spelling for “speciall” people…

      Jul 10, 2009 at 11:28 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   T imo® bang

      I no that their are speciall worts for deterrent peoples. I thing that geneouss are very generous nominally.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 11:35 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Claire

      Everyone knows it’s spelled JEENYUS.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 7:14 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   AuntyBron

      T – I think u ment “wurds” not worts.

      Jul 11, 2009 at 12:45 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Orelse

    I’ve tried to get to all those outpostings, but it the coffee cups stoped me.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Autist-Tree bang

    I have a going? But what’s that exactly? Other than my English Language Abuse Alert going off, I mean…

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   ryanmalloy

      That could be a misshaped B, but still…
      “Your Boing” doesn’t make any sense either…
      “Your Boeing”?

      Jul 10, 2009 at 11:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   park rose bang

      Misspelt ‘gong’?

      Jul 10, 2009 at 11:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Snippy

      Your Bong?

      Your Dong?

      [cue "Penis Dimension" from Frank Zappa's 200 Motels]

      Jul 10, 2009 at 1:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   mamason bang

      Bang a gong.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 3:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   conrad

      get it on.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 6:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Wordtinker doesnt smith bang

    Unless someone sets a coffee cup on it, then all you have to do is clean up, as opposed to cleaning down, which negates the need for wiping away cleaning fluid rivulets.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Mark bang

      That sounds really dirty. Me likey!

      Jul 10, 2009 at 11:33 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   mamason bang

      Clean up on comment 5!

      Jul 10, 2009 at 3:06 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   zbird

      However, keep in mind that those of you who are playing in the match this afternoon need to move your clothes down onto the lower peg immediately after lunch, before you write your letter home, if you’re not getting your hair cut, unless you’ve got a younger brother who is going out this weekend as the guest of another boy, in which case, collect his note before lunch, put it in your letter after you’ve had your hair cut, and make sure he moves your clothes down onto the lower peg for you.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 3:33 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Kelly

    This is why Canada will never be a world power.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:22 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   chryscrazy

      That and they probably dont take out enough recycling.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 12:10 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   KatieMB

      That and the fact that they didn’t create Superman.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 4:26 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Kelly

      Wow, things look pretty bleak for America’s hat.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 5:21 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Wordtinker doesnt smith bang

      Hats? We don’t need no stinking hats!

      Jul 10, 2009 at 9:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Devika

    The “geneous” note writer has the penmanship of a 6 year old.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Snippy

      …but at least writes “Thenkyoo Noats.”

      Jul 10, 2009 at 1:23 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   KatieMB

      Cuz he lernd howto at skool.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 4:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Wordtinker doesnt smith bang

    #5 was supposed to nest under 1.1 and now I can’t get the editor to work.

    AAARGH!

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Snippy

      Try telling the editor “Work – or Get Fired!”

      Jul 10, 2009 at 1:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   mamason bang

      That is!! good advise and good inscentiv
      AsweLL!

      Jul 10, 2009 at 3:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Party in my Pants

    ASSwell is the bored updater.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:30 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   T imo® bang

    Was the ale out of the coffee cups eh!

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:37 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   aaa

    Aswell sounds like something I saw when I got caught in a pornado once…

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:38 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   amy d bang

      That’s dangerously close to a pun, a³ .

      Jul 10, 2009 at 2:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   mamason bang

      aaa is a clever pundit aswell.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 3:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   ryanmalloy

      gigglebrax fail. see below for new comment

      Jul 10, 2009 at 3:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   QuarterRoy00 bang

    That first one looks like it was written in a 2nd grade penmanship class.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   park rose bang

    Genus writing about painterus on the wrong side of the boardus commonly uses the superfluous, and optional ‘eo’ or ‘ea’…its interest in genealogy encourages such predilections.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   aaa

    Geneous just seems like the adjective form of that anime company Geneon.

    /nerd>

    (*sigh* Can’t even do the fake HTML tag right. XP )

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:48 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   mamason bang

      :lol:

      Jul 10, 2009 at 3:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   fluffy8u

      Does that make you a “geneous” nerd?

      Jul 10, 2009 at 4:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   park rose bang

    We all know the different spellings, pronunciations and usages that abound in the English language, as has been stated above:
    jewelry
    jewellery
    apartment
    flat
    and so on…
    Asswipe
    Aswell
    It’s just a little more polite.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:51 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   claw71 bang

    From the offace of Kernal Cannuck: A Memmerandam.

    To: All Canadian Armed Fources
    Re: Promotion of Sargint Aswell

    Affective emeeditlee, Sargint Aswell will be promoted to Master Sargint. In his compassity he will also serve as the Sargint of the Board. Aswell will be responsible for verifying and posting all changes to the board and ordering that all other boards be sincronized with the main board.

    Going forward all board updates must be given to Master Sargint Aswell no later than fore days befor posting.

    that is all. Eh

    Jul 10, 2009 at 11:57 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   ClearlyDemented

    I think the second ‘note’ writer is the true ‘geneus’.

    Exhibit A: It’s a board. Is there a wrong side?

    Exhibit B: S/he uses brackets as parentheses.

    Case closed.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 12:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   GK bang

      {These} are braces. [Brackets] look like this.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 12:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   ClearlyDemented

      Ah, looks like I’m the ‘geneous’, then.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 12:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Wade bang

      Do those braces come with boots (and a handful of grease in her hair)?

      Jul 10, 2009 at 2:05 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   amy d bang

      There is no wrong side of the board, only unpainted ones.

      Confuscious

      Jul 10, 2009 at 2:43 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   mamason bang

      Don’t give us none of your aggravation, Wade.

      We’ve had it with your discipline aswell.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 3:16 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Snippy

      There’s a wrong side and a write side.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 4:31 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   leftfoot

    Calling someone a “geneous” is about as classic as telling someone they’re a “bich”.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 12:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Bunnee bang

      Unless they’re from Vietnam and that happens to be their name.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 5:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Mark bang

      A friend of a friend of mine in high school was from Vietnam and was named “Phuc.”

      Jul 10, 2009 at 5:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Charlotte Lincoln

    People shouldn’t write words they can’t spell. It undermines their point instantly. If I’d painted the wrong side of the board, I wouldn’t care after I got that note.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 12:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Wade bang

    Let’s hope Orelse takes updating more sereously than Aswell!

    Jul 10, 2009 at 12:17 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   se

      I thought it said Urecse is now updating since aswell got posted out, now I do see Orelse.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 1:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Woman on the Verge bang

    And the final jeopardy category:
    Things that start with Ass:

    What is Asswipe?
    What is Asshole?
    What is Asspanda?
    What is Asshat?
    What is Asswell?

    Jul 10, 2009 at 12:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   se

      my personal favorite, Assjuice

      Jul 10, 2009 at 1:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   amy d bang

      A spanking.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 2:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   mamason bang

      *raises hand*

      Jul 10, 2009 at 3:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Laura

    It’s gratifying to see that Americans aren’t the only ones who can’t speel.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 12:37 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   David

    If your going to make changes in here!! First, learn proper grammar. And leave Aswell alone, for God’s sake!

    Jul 10, 2009 at 1:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Snippy

      Godsake.

      (Gods ache?)

      Jul 10, 2009 at 1:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   KatieMB

      You named it God?

      Jul 10, 2009 at 4:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Snippy

      Yes. He’s beneficent and loving. Let “God” in, KMB. Feel him move within you. Call him by name.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 4:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   KatieMB

      Um, call me?

      Jul 10, 2009 at 4:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Bob Loblaw

    I didn’t think you needed to spell in the army.

    Thought it was mostly:
    Point gun at bad guy
    Pull trigger
    Wait for bad guy to fall over
    Repeat

    Jul 10, 2009 at 1:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   claw71 bang

      We’re talking about Canada, Bob.

      I’ve served in five wars, six police actions and 10 special operations I’m not supposed to talk about and I’ve yet to see a Canadian soldier. I’ve heard rumors that they have an army and I’ve allegedly served along side of them, but I might as well have served along side of Legolas and Aragon.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 1:47 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   mamason bang

      You fought in the War of the Ring aswell?

      Jul 10, 2009 at 3:20 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   ClearlyDemented

      Save our Bluths, Bob!

      Jul 10, 2009 at 3:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   Beanster bang

      i’m one of those liberal cannucks, who supports the troops except for the ones i’ve met. they like to say : “we aren’t peace keepers, we’re peace makers” and then launch into their spiels about what justifies killing children. what i concluded?

      canada has minor involvement in some operations, but most of out armed forces are just computer nerds with testosterone on over-drive. but man, did we rock vimy ridge.

      (side note: canada has never deployed its air force but our navy kicks ass.)

      Jul 10, 2009 at 5:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Gunderson105

    “Our Lord and savior scattered about coffee cups, then bellowed from the heavens above: ‘Thou painted the wrong side of the board.’ ”

    –Geneous 3:12

    Jul 10, 2009 at 1:39 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   KatieMB

      That passage always gives me so much guidance and reassurance.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 4:18 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Friar Oil

      “Verily I say unto you if upon the wrong side thou painteth thine board shall thee not update it? Doth thou drinketh again from the cup which is unclean in the eyes of our Lord?

      -St. Steven’s letters to the Geneous 12:14

      Jul 10, 2009 at 4:21 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Neeners

    Allswell that endswell aswell.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 1:42 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   KatieMB

      Is that ends well or end swell?

      Jul 10, 2009 at 4:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   mamason bang

      Ooooh, I fell on my butt yesterday and boy, did my aswell.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 5:01 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   Bunnee bang

      Katie, if you can get an end to swell, it generally ends well, right?

      Jul 10, 2009 at 5:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.4   KatieMB

      Ohhhhhh yessssssssssssss, Bunnee!

      Jul 10, 2009 at 7:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   The Grammarphile

    I recall learning about those “geneous” things in science class a long time ago…although I seem to remember it being spelled like “genus.” ;) Hmmm, doesn’t a species name also go along with the genus? In this case, I guess these mistakes were made by a Misspellerus idiotus. And I’m pretty sure that a Misspellerus idiotus is NOT a GENIUS…not by a long shot…

    Jul 10, 2009 at 1:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   aaa

      Hm, I thought scientists called misspellers Pan troglodytes, but I suppose that would be a bit unfair to the chimps….

      Jul 10, 2009 at 1:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   claw71 bang

    I do love when people try to leave condescending messages only to misspell the money shot in the most ironic of twits. All the variations of genius are classic, but it’s really funny when they inadvertently get scientific and use “genus”. Brilliant. Another personal favorite is when somebody spells “dummy” d-u-m-b-y.

    It’s like a nymphomaniac slut calling another woman a whore. Who’s worse: The woman who sleeps around or the one with the presence of mind to charge for it? The knucklehead who painted the wrong side of the board or the Sharpie-toting doofus who wasn’t smart enough to realize he has no idea how to spell genius?

    Signs and wonders, my friends, signs and wonders.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 1:56 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   aaa

      So, would that make “Dumby” the slower second cousin of Gumby?

      Jul 10, 2009 at 2:06 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   Canaduck

      Another good one is when people brag about how “intellegent” they are.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 2:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   d33rheart

      there’s a word i want to use, but i’m not sure how to spell it. sopebocks? sowpbahx? i guess i might aswell give up. it’s clear i’m no geneous.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 2:16 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.4   ryanmalloy

      Doctor, my brain hurts!

      Jul 10, 2009 at 2:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.5   Mark bang

      It’s got to come out!

      Jul 10, 2009 at 2:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.6   mamason bang

      “the most ironic of twits” Priceless! :lol:

      Jul 10, 2009 at 3:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.7   Bubbles

      Prince of Twits
      Sir Loin of Beef

      Jul 10, 2009 at 4:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.8   Snippy

      Count of Mountie Crisco

      Jul 10, 2009 at 4:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Guy Smiley

    Aswell sounds like someone’s butler.

    “Aswell, update the board. There’s a good fellow.”

    “Certainly, sir.”

    Jul 10, 2009 at 2:32 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Hysterica

      Ah hahaha! Fantastic.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 2:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   TP

    My going will make changes in here aslong as I want it to! Mind your own busyness about my going!!! Or I will mess up your coffee cups and will make you scream like a girl as a matter ofcourse!!!

    Jul 10, 2009 at 3:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   ryanmalloy

    They have always denied it! But it is true!
    The aliens who have crashed at Aswell do exist!
    Their grammar and spelling seem crude, but they have managed to get their message published on the Internet!
    We’re doomed!

    Jul 10, 2009 at 3:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Snippy

      Yes, but it’s on the wrong side.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 4:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   ryanmalloy

      On the wrong site.

      Jul 12, 2009 at 8:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Michael Jackson's Brain

    The Canadian army is bilingual, so perhaps it is just a bad translation from french to english

    Jul 10, 2009 at 3:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   KatieMB

      Oh puh-leeeeze, don’t come in here with your logic!!!

      Jul 10, 2009 at 4:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Boostershot

    these notes aren’t so much passive aggressive as they are just idiotic.

    Jul 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   mamason bang

      I know you are but what am I?

      Oh, wait. Don’t answer that.

      Jul 10, 2009 at 5:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   david

    never reading anything saves me from reading the wrong side of the board, cleaning up coffee cups, etc

    Jul 12, 2009 at 1:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Clumber

    This PAN submission has me so confused I am considering calling in sick tomorrow. Though I am now also considering renaming our singleton pup “Aswell”. (His current puppyname is Yuri).

    My spouse is running for the board in an election… so is she who needs to update it if changes? Wait… what? Which ones? and which side?

    Hold me… my brain, it hurts!

    Jul 13, 2009 at 6:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Shayner

    I think I’ve seen better penmanship and spelling skills on bathroom walls of bars and gas stations. Actually, no. They’re about the same.

    Jul 24, 2009 at 5:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Monica

    Aswell?? Genous??? Is this some kind of Canadian dialect I am not aware of?!?

    Jul 29, 2009 at 7:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   ana

    yeah, friends, spelling police here. i love your website. all of these notes are hilarious, but incidentally, just so you know, “graphity” is actually spelled GRAFFITI. might wanna change your tag/section…

    Aug 9, 2009 at 10:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

Comments are Closed