Writes Justin in Iowa: “This was written by a coworker of mine last winter, and covers three sides of the tissue box. The tissues are long gone, but the box was apparently worth saving, and remains on the desk five months later.”
The full text: I had a cold/cough & I decided to buy some Puffs kleenex w/ lotion. Believe it or not, they’re not cheap so I’m not sharing. But hey, they still have some at the store so you could always go buy your own you know. Seriously, only because these are a little costly I’m not sharing, otherwise, you’d be all good. But again, they’re not CHEAP! How would you feel if I used up all of your “whatever”? B/c my last box… OMG! got used up so fast & it wasn’t even by me! I was so hot about it, and I know you can afford it b/c I can. I know you’re not broke b/c you work the same place I do, am I right or am I right?
related: suck on this
132 responses so far ↓
#1
APFDF
Bing bang
1st
Jul 13, 2009 at 9:28 am rating: 2
#2
Party in my Pants
I would FIRST prefer to share my expensive tissues than to have my coworkers share their germs.
Also don’t use the lotion tissues to clean your glasses…
Jul 13, 2009 at 9:30 am rating: 5
#3
Quite Contrary
Did he forget to mention the tissues weren’t cheap?
Jul 13, 2009 at 9:34 am rating: 21
#4
bullwinkle
I would almost call bogus on this one for some reason.
Jul 13, 2009 at 9:35 am rating: 2
#5
claw71
This is why I always put my coworkers’ tissues back when I’ve finished using them.
But it doesn’t say lotion on the box…
Jul 13, 2009 at 9:36 am rating: 44
#6
T imo®
Wow tissues with lotion! Well that will save me a step.
Jul 13, 2009 at 9:37 am rating: 49
#7
Dr. Ballon
Nice Big Lebowski ref in the title!
Jul 13, 2009 at 9:38 am rating: 3
#8
QuarterRoy00
Apparently this person needs to save all the money they can from tissue-thieves to take that “Writing Understandable English Sentences” course from the local community college.
Jul 13, 2009 at 9:47 am rating: 8
#9
Alex Valencic
I like the assumption that, by working at the same place, they can afford to buy the same things. Do they also live in the same place, and have the same bills, debts, and other expenses?
Jul 13, 2009 at 9:49 am rating: 16
#10
anglophile
You know, they put the dosage recommendations on the Nyquil bottle for a reason.
Jul 13, 2009 at 9:49 am rating: 31
#11
Sara
Puffs doesn’t appreciate their tissues being called kleenex.
Jul 13, 2009 at 9:49 am rating: 49
#12
Phillip
I hope the note-writer realizes that Kleenex(R) is a registered trademark and not a generic name for tissues. Since Puffs is a competing brand of Kleenex, there is no way something can be a “Puffs Kleenex” unless they enter some sort of merger. K, thx.
Jul 13, 2009 at 9:53 am rating: 19
#13
Beth
Lotion-infused tissues are nasty, anyhow. They’re grimy feeling to start with, and the snot being evacuated from one’s sinuses makes them feel like you’re handling a sack of slimy worm guts.
Jul 13, 2009 at 10:05 am rating: 13
#14
alienninja
He could greatly reduce the cost of tissues by NOT BUYING A FREAKING SQUARE BOX. That’s, like, double the cost of a normal box of tissues right there. Also, Puffs are the most expensive tissues on the market.
Jul 13, 2009 at 10:07 am rating: 14
#15
oi!
omg!he whines about his kleenex-tissues and expresses that on box and on the top of that he saves it for five moths! hey believe or not he is a douche. Seriously he keeps saying same thing over and over but again he repeats himself. am I right or am i right?
Jul 13, 2009 at 10:14 am rating: 5
#16
oi!
I heard the whole thing in a that irritating nasal voice you get when you have cough cold!
I loved the phrase:am I right or am I right.
you bet this is my new catchphrase from now on.
Am I right or am I right?
say with me. It’s fun.
Jul 13, 2009 at 10:20 am rating: 3
#17
claw71
I’m a guy. When my nose gets stuffy I hold one nostril closed and blast the offending snot out with a mighty snort. Then I switch nostrils and repeat. Sometimes, if I’m in an important meeting or at a fancy restaurant like Ponderosa or Bonanza, I’ll do it over a trash can or a potted plant, but not always.
Jul 13, 2009 at 10:23 am rating: 25
#18
ClearlyDemented
As the person who looks like Rudolph ten minutes into a cold, I’m a firm believer in paying a little more for The Plus. While they are the most expensive tissue out there, they’re not diamond encrusted or anything. (get it? encrusted) Anyway, either go to Target and buy the three-pack for $7 or whatever or put them in your desk drawer. But as a fellow Plus user, don’t ruin premium tissues for everyone by acting like an asshat and writing all over the box that you can’t share because they were $3 instead of $1.50. Better yet, spend $.99 on the most generic brand you can find and leave them out for everyone else. I’m sure you wasted at least that much on Sharpie ink.
Jul 13, 2009 at 10:38 am rating: 11
#19
Gunderson105
Why not just have everyone in the office chip in a dollar each, and buy a fancy community handkerchief instead?
Jul 13, 2009 at 10:41 am rating: 29
#20
anglophile
What does the fourth side say?
Jul 13, 2009 at 10:48 am rating: 8
#21
aaa
Of course, I’m sure the thought of putting the tissues in a drawer when he wasn’t at this desk to stave off the tissue thieves never occurred to him.
Although, that doesn’t always stop people. *insert story of douchey ex-roommates digging through my drawers and using my shit here* :O (Yeah, who didn’t see that coming? XD )
Jul 13, 2009 at 11:06 am rating: 4
#22
Jackie
Shouldn’t you be working?
Jul 13, 2009 at 11:38 am rating: 1
#23
Sheila
I can actually understand why he’d be pissed at someone using all of his super-speshul tissues, but I would keep the stupid things in my drawer instead of leaving them out. What did he expect would happen if they were sitting out in his desk?
Jul 13, 2009 at 11:43 am rating: 3
#24
T imo®
Later someone even took his red stapler. So tomorrow he is going to burn the building down.
Jul 13, 2009 at 11:52 am rating: 27
#25
nyuu
I could claim that tissue box by sharpie-ing my name on it since it says “Belongs to:” on top but no name.
Jul 13, 2009 at 12:19 pm rating: 2
#26
Bunnee
He should consider himself lucky to be able to afford Puffs (especially with lotion, even though they are nasty). Some people can’t afford to bring their own tissues from home and most offices where I have worked only allow you to order the cheapest, thinnest tissues there are. You have to use 3 or 4 of them to avoid having a “blowout” and ending up with snot in your hand.
Jul 13, 2009 at 12:34 pm rating: 2
#27
Phalange
He should ditch the lotion infused tissues and go with the anti-bacterial ones. Then parents would allow him to touch their babies.
Jul 13, 2009 at 1:06 pm rating: 8
#28
Miss Daisy
It wipes the lotion on its nose.
Jul 13, 2009 at 2:07 pm rating: 14
#29
marky not mark
“Shut the fuck up, Donny!”
Jul 13, 2009 at 2:13 pm rating: 1
#30
danielle
that couldn’t have been less precise.
Jul 13, 2009 at 2:22 pm rating: 0
#31
oi
damn it! people see/hear word tissue and start dwindling the ideas of feces.
yuck! how disgusting is that?
you have to go to fecal matter, sex and/or cursing to make your joke funny that means it not funny in the first place.
Jul 13, 2009 at 2:35 pm rating: 0
#32
Mark
This reminds me a bit of timecube.
Jul 13, 2009 at 2:56 pm rating: 2
#33
Roxie
my puffs plus lotion w/the scent of vicks are vastly superior.
Jul 13, 2009 at 3:12 pm rating: 1
#34
cicero
Puffs boy needs a holiday.
Jul 13, 2009 at 3:22 pm rating: 0
#35
KatieMB
If you’re going to come into work sick and get me sick, I’d say I’m entitled to your special tissues. TYVM.
*achoo*cough*wheeze*
Jul 13, 2009 at 3:40 pm rating: 3
#36
Guy Smiley
Sad news to report: Walter died. Turn out that cold was really something more serious.
Oh, and it was infectious.
Jul 13, 2009 at 5:28 pm rating: 0
#37
Snippy
“Those tissues were my baby’s fiber for the day!”
Jul 13, 2009 at 5:28 pm rating: 23
#38
Sherry
Hence why I keep my tissues in my desk drawer- to avoid having to write guilt trips on them in sharpie.
@Snippy – LOL
Jul 13, 2009 at 5:47 pm rating: 1
#39
asdf
“and I know you can afford it b/c I can. I know you’re not broke b/c you work the same place I do”
Irony?
Jul 13, 2009 at 6:25 pm rating: 2
#40
Canthz_B
News flash, Sparky: If it’s on your desk, you’re offering to share. Box of tissue, dish of candy…if it’s for personal use, put it in a private place.
Am I right, or am I right?
Jul 13, 2009 at 8:53 pm rating: 1
#41
PicturePocket
Let us do the math and see how expensive it really is? What is 1/80th of $2.59? Oh, about three cents. Can you afford to be 3 cents generous? If you think about how much you get paid at work, let’s assume at least $10/hour, then you are making at least 16 cents a minute. If you took one minute to write on a box then you wasted five tissues. Actually they are cheap.
Jul 13, 2009 at 10:52 pm rating: 0
#42
anon
You’re right Canthz. Your desk has drawers for a reason. Nothing worse than computer guys and candy. I brought in a hug bag of swedish fish expecting it to last a week or two. I really thought it would last longer if it weren’t for the fact I like them so much. By the end of the day people were reaching into the bag and pouting they were gone. It was a good learning experience. Hide stuff I want for myself.
Jul 13, 2009 at 11:26 pm rating: 1
#43
foreverSunset
Really, He didn’t use the 4th side of the box? Now that’s just being lazy.
I really would have liked hearing one more time about the shortage of Kleenexes and the starving children in Africa one more time.
Jul 14, 2009 at 1:41 am rating: 0
#44
EdGuth
Only three sides? But that fourth side would look so blank!
Jul 14, 2009 at 3:36 am rating: 0
#45
pr1982
those tissues were fucking delicious
Jul 18, 2009 at 10:32 am rating: 2
#46
wiesoauchimmer
wouldn’t a simple “i sneezed on the box” have done the job quite as well? LOL
Sep 2, 2009 at 7:44 am rating: 1
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