But a mother’s love is the best gift of all…right?

July 29th, 2009 · 116 comments

Andrea in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin says her friend McKenna woke up on her 19th birthday to find this note on the counter from Mom.

(You can tell it’s heartfelt because of the underlining.)

McKenna, Happy birthday! Please shovel the front sidewalk. Thank you. I went to Madison

related: when a card just won’t do

FILED UNDER: birthday · Moms & Dads · Wisconsin


116 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Kelly

    Mom,

    Thanks for the birthday wishes!

    Unless there’s a new car for me under the snow on the sidewalk, I won’t be shoveling a goddamn thing!

    Thanks for understanding.

    I went to dad’s, since he actually loves me.

    Jul 29, 2009 at 10:35 pm   rating: 101  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Canthz_B bang

      OK, now that’s too good to follow!

      Except to say that you can’t find the new car if you don’t do the work.
      And to point out that a new car could be the reward for the work.
      Easter egg hunts just aren’t fun if the kids don’t believe in golden eggs.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 2:58 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Katzndogz bang

      McKenna,

      There was a car under the snow. And Jake Ryan was in the passenger seat. But he froze to death while you were writing your note and stomping off to dad’s. Oh well, I never was good at pulling off surprises.

      Anyway, I went to the medical examiner’s office.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 9:40 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   pry

      when you say “jake ryan,” are you referring to the character in “sixteen candles” or the character from “hannah montana?”

      i need this information in order to properly visualize your scenario.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 12:27 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   C.S. Harmonikah

      By “I need this information in order to properly visualize your scenario” do you mean masturbate?

      I chose both. And i’m typing with one hand.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 7:21 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   McKenna

      BAHAHAH!!! SO TRUE!!
      I’m the McKenna in the note. I totally didn’t shovel, went to my Dad’s and then went to Madison with my friends.

      Aug 2, 2009 at 1:25 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   JetJackson

    Eat your heart out Hallmark!

    Jul 29, 2009 at 10:37 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Car RamRod

      Yea what a fucked up mom. This is almost as bad as my chinese buddy who has very hardcore traditional asian parents. He failed a test or something benign like that and then he woke up on christmas to find a note from his parents saying they went on a cruise to the Caribbean without him for a week, and that dinner was in the fridge. He opened the fridge to find a couple of thawed out hungry man meals. Rough times…

      Jul 30, 2009 at 5:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Neeners

      That reminds me of Thanksgiving at our house one year with Hungry Man turkey tv dinners instead of the real thing. Our parents didn’t have enough money for a cruise though so she went on a pretend one after downing a few of mothers little helpers.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 5:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   T imo® bang

      Thanksgiving at my Aunts in Plainfield was gray Arby’s beef in trays swimming in “gravy”.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 5:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Car RamRod

      Not Plainfield, NJ by any chance?

      Jul 30, 2009 at 8:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   situational lefty

    She couldn’t even use a pen with enough ink in it to write her birthday wishes. McKenna is getting the shaft on her birthday.

    Jul 29, 2009 at 10:43 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   se

      as long as that shaft doesn’t come from her mom

      Jul 29, 2009 at 11:39 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   TheOldSchool

      Anyone who knows me well, will tell you that I’m usually fairly nonchalant about ink.

      But lately, I’ve been witnessing increasing numbers of well-meaning people eating naturally-colored tagliatelle.

      “It’s healthy, and it’s nice to look at,” they say.

      The red and green tagliatelles are fine. (These are colored with ingredients such as spinach, chili peppers, tomatoes, etc. and I’ve got no problem with any of those.)

      The trouble comes when we transition into the black tagliatelle.

      It is colored with squid ink.

      Organic? Yes. But, ponder this question: when do squid release their ink?

      Answer: when they’re STARTLED!

      Human beings are sneaking around in ocean waters, right now, intentionally startling squid.

      Why?

      So you can stuff your fat gob with prettily colored spaghetti!

      There’s no other reason.

      They are scaring the bejesus out of innocent creatures so your noodles look different on your plate.

      You people* absolutely disgust me.

      (* aficionados of squid-ink-colored pasta)

      Please, for the love of all that is good and decent:

      STOP STARTLING SQUID!!!

      The squid are gradually turning into nervous wrecks. How do I know? Because I’ve detected a change in my calamari. It’s tangier now. When the squid were calm, I found their flavor to be more subtle to my taste buds.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 12:10 am   rating: 44  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Meh bang

      It’s more thoughtful than naming her McKenna. Sounds like a DJ from Africa. Don’t get me wrong, it’s cute for a three year old little girl, but I bet what she really wanted for her birthday is a name she wouldn’t have outgrown by the time she could write it.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 12:11 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Meh bang

      Holy crap! I missed that her friend Andrew is a girl… nah… that’s way too easy.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 12:18 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   park rose

      Eating squid ink pasta is a cheap and efficient way of blackening one’s teeth that is available to all who have a few dollars to spare. And it is delicious.

      In the olden days you used to have to use a

      smelly dark-brown colored liquid made of an acetic acid called kanemizu (かねみず) with iron dissolved in it. Gallnut powder and tannin powder were blended in, turning it non-water soluble. When the liquid combined with the tannins, it would turn black. Coating the teeth with this liquid helped to prevent tooth decay and enamel decay. The dye had to be applied once a day or once every few days.

      As a convenient prescription, a fine powder of gallnut powder, sulfuric acid, and oyster shell could also be applied to the teeth, though this never really caught on.

      In theatrical plays, ink mixed with turpentine was used, though these days, ink mixed with tooth wax is used.

      The squid’s wellbeing, or the wellbeing of my finances? A quick bowl of pasta, or hours spent in laborious application? I think you know who, or what, would win out.

      The things we do to maintain fashion and beauty. By the way, blackening the teeth also has this use:

      It is said that military commanders who were struck in the head on the battlefield and who did not want to be ugly would wear average women’s makeup and would blacken their teeth.

      I don’t quite know the logic behind that, but I’m sure that all the squids around the world brought it upon themselves and are to blame. Startle not? Startle we will. Look at it this way. Now you save money on the lemons you don’t have to buy.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 12:33 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Kelly

      TOS, you are a gem. You too, park rose.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 8:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Weaselbaby

      @ Meh -

      That confused me as well. “Andrew [...] says HER friend”…WTF? When did Andrew become a girl’s name? I was so startled by that, I released all kinds of ink.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 8:15 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   T.U.M.

      In this economy you want to take jobs away from us professional squidstartlers?

      Jul 30, 2009 at 9:47 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   Bunnee

      It doesn’t sound like a very hard job. Everyone knows in order to startle a squid, you just steal his truck-boat-truck.

      *waits to see who gets this

      Jul 30, 2009 at 10:43 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   mamason bang

      “When I was little we didn’t have fancy ketchup, we just had ketchup. We youst’a make it out in the back out’a possum tails, only we just called it blood.”

      Jul 30, 2009 at 12:11 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.11   Girl Friday

      TOS – the squid startling has nothing to do with the tangy taste of your calamari.

      Try washing your hands when you’re done pleasuring yourself and I think you’ll find the calamari (and everything else you eat with your fingers) will be less tangy.

      It will help eliminate the “musky smell” on your coffee cup you’ve been complaining about too.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 1:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.12   Bunnee

      Yay Mama! Did you know that the person who does the voice of Granny also does the voice for Master Shake?

      *the more you know…..

      Jul 30, 2009 at 4:35 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.13   mamason bang

      … the more you know.*

      Jul 30, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.14   not me!

      DO not TOUCH the Tree-im!!!

      Jul 30, 2009 at 8:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   ellehcor

    Could have been worse, my whole family forgot my 18th birthday even after they all walked past me on their way out the door. Besides, there’s nothing to indicate that this is the only thing her mother did for her birthday. And if she still lives at home, why shouldn’t she help out and do the sidewalk? If you give your kids the idea that their birthday is some sort of magical day of no reality and no responsibility they are going to be in for serious disappointment in the real world.

    Jul 29, 2009 at 10:59 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Kelly

      You’re a lot of fun at parties, aren’t you?

      Jul 29, 2009 at 11:24 pm   rating: 64  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   ellehcor

      You damn kids and your parties! Get off my lawn!

      Jul 29, 2009 at 11:33 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   HappyNat

      Samantha Baker? Is that you?

      Jul 30, 2009 at 8:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   THX SANDRA bang

      And stay of my laundry room!

      Jul 30, 2009 at 7:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   fluffy8u

    If only it was written on a napkin…

    Jul 29, 2009 at 11:20 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      She thought about writing it on the one piece of paper on the fridge…A time worn, food stained drawing done 14 years ago. The purple colored lump that had been described as a pony did nothing for her but she put it up with a silly fridge magnet anyway because that was what you were supposed to do..Better to use a postit and leave the purple lump alone..

      Aug 2, 2009 at 1:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   TheOldSchool

    Andrew is a girl, and she lives in a place called “Beaver Dam.”

    Fine.

    Just wake me when McKenna’s Mom returns with the “come down pills” from Mr. Otter’s medicine cabinet.

    Jul 29, 2009 at 11:25 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   mamason bang

      Welcome back, TOS! We’ve missed you.

      Hey, would you like to take a walk with me down to the swimming hole? I could show you my beaver. It might just be a muskrat, though. I’m not sure. I never can get a good look at it.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 1:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   park rose

    I went to Madison is not a consequence of either McKenna’s birthday, or the unshovelled sidewalk, is it?
    Just one of those P.S. remarks without the P.S. indicator, right?

    Jul 29, 2009 at 11:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   BrookeDiz

    I just hope that McKenna’s birthday is in the winter. Otherwise, what fresh hell is on that sidewalk?

    Jul 29, 2009 at 11:43 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Crystal

    I think my step-mom must be living a double life.

    Jul 29, 2009 at 11:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   fluffy8u

      I think your step-mom and my mom must be the same person.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 4:13 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   kp

    When I turned twelve my dad yelled at me until I cired because I didn’t have a full time job. McKenna got off easy.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 12:08 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Kelly

      On my tenth birthday, I had to walk through the bear-infested woods around my house, cut a switch for my dad to beat me with, and then work my 12-hour shift at the coal mine.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 12:10 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Meh bang

      As an unpaid intern too, right Kelly?

      Jul 30, 2009 at 12:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Mark bang

      Luxury.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 12:27 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   KatieMB

      Right witcha, Mark.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 8:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Clumber

      you pussies. Namby-pambies!

      When I was ten, I had to work 18 hours straight in the bat guano cave, collecting bat guano of course, and during the shift change had to ask for a beating appointment with my dad from his secretary, who made me call him “Aunt Knockers”, then I had to hire someone to go get a switch at least 3″ around and pay that person in guano, which I would later be reprimanded for, and have 3x the worth of that litre of guano docked from my pay which was $4 a year, before I had to have $ deducted for the privilege of having the job, and the hair nets they made us wear in the caves…

      Switching to PTSD mode as I lost interest.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 11:03 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   choco

      Kelly that was great! Still laughing my arse off.

      Aug 22, 2009 at 9:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Laura

    I went to Madison and I’m never coming back.

    Have fun paying the bills!

    Jul 30, 2009 at 12:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Meh bang

    Can’t blame her for going to Madison instead of staying for her daughter’s birthday. That place is a freaking blast. Well, for a football game anyway.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 12:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   aaa

    Translation:

    I left for Madison way early in the morning so no one would have a chance to tell me to shovel the walk. I already said thank you, so you’ll look like a douchebag if you don’t do it.

    Oh, by the way, happy birthday. I guess.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 12:25 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Meh bang

    Mom win! Left a note because she didn’t want to hear her freeloading daughter bitch and moan because she might have to do something she doesn’t want to do on her precious birthday. I guess it would be better than those annoying people who claim a whole weeks worth of immunity because it’s their “birthday week”. Give me a break.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 12:36 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   situational lefty

    McKenna sees the note left by her mom, and her heartbeat quickens. “This is it”, she thinks. “I’m finally getting the new car I’ve been asking for. I’ll go out and ‘shovel the walk’ and there it’ll be, sitting in the driveway with a big red bow on the top. This is going to be the best birthday ever!”

    McKenna runs outside, snow shovel in hand to see… nothing but a snow-covered walk.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 12:46 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   park rose bang

      Wednesday morning at five o’clock as the day begins
      Silently closing her bedroom door
      Leaving the note that she hoped would say more
      She goes downstairs to the kitchen clutching her handkerchief
      Quietly turning the backdoor key
      Stepping outside she is free.

      She (I gave you most of my life)
      is leaving (Sacrificed most of my life)
      home (I gave you everything money could buy – including this pen with no ink and a lovely purple snow shovel)

      She’s leaving home after living as if she were alone
      For so many years. Bye, bye

      And McKenna’s mum was never seen again, but I bet she is having fun: something inside that was always denied for so many years. Bye Bye.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 12:54 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Neeners

      I bet the only thing with a big red bow on it was the new shovel McKenna got for her birthday from her mom.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 5:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Joyful

    At least she didn’t get felt up by her grandma.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 1:39 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   fluffy8u

      At least her grandma didn’t tell her how she got pregnant with her mom and aunt, then proceed to suggest to her that she’s promiscuous.

      Thanks grandma. Best birthday present ever.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 4:22 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   park rose

      So is your family screwy, or screwing, or screwed?

      Some wild inter-familial relationships going on there.

      But we’ll wish you happy birthday PAN style if you just tell us ahead of time, and remind us constantly.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 7:57 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   KatieMB

      @16 … or give her underwear to a geek.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 8:11 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   T imo® bang

      I suppose you want them back now.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 5:59 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   KatieMB

      Unless you’ve got something else to give me…

      Jul 30, 2009 at 7:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Julia

    At least it was just the front sidewalk and not the whole driveway.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 3:01 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   park rose

      At least it was written in ink and not pencil.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 7:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Meesh

      At least she spelled her daughter’s name right.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 8:46 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   GhostWriter bang

      At least she didn’t name her daughter Madison.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 9:10 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   GhostWriter bang

      At least McKenna didn’t find her lost kitten frozen under a pile of snow at the foot of the driveway.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 9:14 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   lolli

      Hold on – we may be on to something! Madison is McKenna’s twin sister – the perfect one. Mom is on her way to Madison’s house to shovel her sidewalk for her, as part of the elaborate birthday day she has planned. McKenna can just spend the day alone, doing chores.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 9:35 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Bunnee

      At least lolli didn’t screw up the continuity of the thread….

      Oh wait. :)

      Jul 30, 2009 at 10:48 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   Mishee™ bang

      lolli – There’s a McKenna, WI also then?

      Jul 30, 2009 at 11:05 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    Dearest mom,
    I’d have shoveled the sidewalk if you’d gone to Milwaukee.
    At least then I could have expected you’d bring back beer.
    But Madison? That’s just too cheesy!

    Jul 30, 2009 at 3:04 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Leah

    This can’t be worse than the girl whose mom named her ‘Andrew’.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 4:07 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   park rose

      Andrea – Andrewa – just an extra consonant here, a changed dipthong there… She dropped the final ‘a’ because everyone kept misspelling her name.

      Or, she could be one of the Andrew Sisters. Mighty famous, from what I’ve heard.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 7:54 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Meh bang

      Better than McKenna. Atleast it’s a conversation starter, not just a crappy name.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 8:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   mamason bang

      I never wear dipthongs. I prefer shiney white “satin” granny panties.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 11:29 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Snippy

      A picture is worth a thousand words, mamason.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 1:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   park rose bang

      Mama, your dyslexia is getting the better of you again. S-t-a-i-n.
      Damn you, Snippy! You’re always getting in between me and the person above me…

      Jul 30, 2009 at 1:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.6   mamason bang

      Doh! You’re right, Rose! :-P

      Do you think Snippy still wants a picture? :-?

      Jul 30, 2009 at 1:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.7   Snippy

      Wow, I was in a mama-rose sandwich and didn’t know it?
      Damn you, NyQuil!

      Jul 30, 2009 at 3:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   kelli

    She made sure the “shovel the front walk” was written clearly and with a pen that had sufficient ink but “Happy Birthday” just wasn’t important enough to even go over with the fresh pen?

    Jul 30, 2009 at 6:02 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   park rose

      Then it would have looked like an after-thought. ;)

      Jul 30, 2009 at 7:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   mamason bang

      Perhaps she forgot to startle the squid that morning.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 11:32 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   park rose bang

      Mama, if I could plus you more times I would.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 1:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   Snippy

      Is “startling the squid” a euphemism for the female equivalent of “choking the chicken”?

      Jul 30, 2009 at 1:10 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   Kelly

      I think it is now, Snippy.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 1:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   Snippy

      And TOS wants this behavior to stop?

      Aside to TOS: What is wrong with you, man?

      Jul 30, 2009 at 8:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   anglophile bang

    I had many a birthday where waking up to find my mom had gone to Madison without me would have been a real treat.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 6:40 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   KatieMB

      Were our mothers twins, Glo?

      Jul 30, 2009 at 8:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   anglophile bang

      I don’t know, Katie. Is yours a short, irritable woman who hates men and thinks you have nothing better to do than take her to the outlet mall on your day off?

      Jul 30, 2009 at 2:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   KatieMB

      Well she’s short and irritable, and likes to shop at the outlet mall but as far as I know she’s OK with men.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 2:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   claw71 bang

    Wow. This chick is from Wisconsin, named Mckenna and her mom saddled her with shoveling the drive on her birthday. If McKenna’s not a lesbian I’ll move to Madison and act like I enjoy it.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 9:02 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   anglophile bang

      Oh, claw, if you move to Madison, I will too–just to watch you suffer. That would be fun.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 1:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   McKenna

      I AM NOT A LESBIAN!

      see you in Madison

      Aug 2, 2009 at 1:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   GhostWriter bang

    Honestly, it seems like Mom just forgot to buy a present for McKenna, and ran off to the Madison Costco.

    Not to worry, McKenna- ten pounds of frozen shrimp are on the way!

    Jul 30, 2009 at 9:16 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   mamason bang

      I’ll bet she forgets the cocktail sauce.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 11:34 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   ClearlyDemented

    Well, when McKenna dropped out of college in order to smoke meth full-time, her and her heroin-addicted mother made a deal. Mom would work the streets of Madison for cash/drugs and McKenna would do the more physical household chores. Birthdays and holidays are no exception; addiction waits for no woman.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 11:50 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Bunnee

    Oh, come on. We all know Mom went to Madison for her methadone treatment (hence the scribbled, frantic scrawl). She treats her daughter like slave labor all the time, regardless of her birthday. She should feel lucky that her Mom even remembered her birthday with a pack of smokes and a card suitable for a 5 year old. I mean, we’ve all been through this at one time or another, right?

    Right?

    Hello?

    Jul 30, 2009 at 11:58 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   park rose bang

      I agree Bunnee.

      She’s off to Madison to shock the monkey, startle the squid, break the habit (though urban dictionary definitely disagrees with me!).

      I think her mother probably also gave her 5 Canadian dollars. What does she have to complain about?

      Jul 30, 2009 at 1:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   mamason bang

      I hope McKenna remembers to pen a thank you!

      Jul 30, 2009 at 1:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Of course she forgot, Grandma is still waiting for the thank you note for the stationery.

      Aug 2, 2009 at 1:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   mamason bang

    She didn’t even start the note with “Dear”.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 12:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Flaboy2425

    And all this time I thought my mom died in 1945. I see she is alive and well in Wisconsin. May she stay there forever.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 1:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   GhostWriter bang

      Your mother was Franklin D. Roosevelt?

      hey, there are worse choices…

      Jul 30, 2009 at 5:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Neeners

    Something’s wrong with the note. Mom was framed. Everyone knows mothers never run out of ink. Originally mom did just write Happy Birthday, but it was the diabolical Andrew who finished it. Andrew either didn’t want to shovel or just hates McKenna.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 5:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Kristin

    At least she didn’t have to share her room with Long Duck Dong.

    Jul 30, 2009 at 5:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Snippy

      Gotta love The Drake.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 5:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Silhouette

    Keep shoveling! There’s a pony in here somewhere!

    Jul 30, 2009 at 5:53 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Janet Weiss

    Wait, she wants to Madison?

    Jul 31, 2009 at 1:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Niccirf

    hahahahaha! If that’s not love, I don’t know what is :)

    Jul 31, 2009 at 3:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   reallyandrea

    you illiterate internet junkies, my name is ANDREA, not ANDREW.

    Jul 31, 2009 at 4:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   amy d bang

      Thanks for clearing that up, Andrew.

      Jul 31, 2009 at 4:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   anglophile bang

      How could we all have been so wrong?

      Jul 31, 2009 at 4:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   zombieBlanco bang

      I’m okay with illiterate and junkies, but throwing that internet in the middle there, that’s just hurtful.

      Jul 31, 2009 at 4:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.4   oi bang

      You guys! forgot again? We have to maintain our rep, please. No nesting of comments people, only literate people are allowed to nest, not us illiterate internet junkies.
      like sir Andrew @ 28.1. see?
      oh wait!

      Jul 31, 2009 at 5:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   oi bang

    :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

    Jul 31, 2009 at 5:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   meme

    Mom clearly went to Madison to get some tampons as all the tampons in “Beaver Dam” were bought up by the tourists…I wonder why?

    Jul 31, 2009 at 10:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   McKenna

    Not only did I NOT shovel the sidewalk, I went to Madison with Andrea and some other friends and had the best birthday to date. My mom ended up shoveling the sidewalk.

    I wish I would have framed that note.

    Aug 2, 2009 at 1:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   choco

      d(^O^)b

      Aug 22, 2009 at 9:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   aunt myrtle was always ahead of her time

    [...] related: happy birthday. here’s the shovel. [...]

    Oct 27, 2009 at 9:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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