Our anonymous submitter — a college student in Michigan — “borrowed” this note under the pretense of reading it to empathize with the recipient. “While the note itself is straight up aggressive,” she says, “I do know that it has followed months of passive-aggressiveness.” And most of these complaints, she says, are totally legit. “I’ve been in the adjoining room while she’s in the bathroom and it’s pretty offensive.”

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“We’ve had trouble with our downstairs neighbors since we moved in,” says Sara in Madison. “Well, really just one of them, a woman in her fifties.” This neighbor’s most recent dose of crazy appeared in the mailbox Sara shares with her roommate (“Little Buddy,” in crazy lady-speak).

I kinda prefer this note without any explanation whatsoever, but if you’re still craving more, Sara explains…sort of. “I had, in fact, bought and put a nozzle on the outside hose so I could spray down an animal cage. We do not, needless to say, have parties in the laundry room.  In fact, we’ve never had a party, ever, because we’re too afraid of her.”

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Kim in Canberra says this A3-sized missive was posted in numerous locations on all four floors of her building. Of this numbered list, I’d say #3 is what puts it over the top.

On a related note:  Did you know the word “avocado” comes from the Aztec word for testicle? (Thanks, Wikipedia!)

related: Who moved my cheese?

extra credit: Someone is stealing avocados, and guac cops are on the case [nytimes.com]

Let me stop you right there. Before you say anything else, have you consulted this sign, as spotted on the door of a souvenir shop by Angie in Seattle?

Or this one, as seen by Meghann outside a bar in San Francisco?

Well, then your questions will certainly be answered by my personal favorite, spotted by Jessie at a sandwich shop in Charlottesville, Virginia:

related: Listing in NOW Magazine’s adult classifieds? $70. Revenge?

Writes Stephanie in Lubbock, Texas: “One day at work, there were four or five of these bulletins posted above all bathroom trash cans, with an additional flyer posted in the ‘memos’ section on the bulletin board. There’s such rage in her bulletin, it’s like she personally found crap resting on a pile of paper towels.”

Meanwhile, our submitter in Pennsylvania explains: “There are only three of us who use this bathroom, so obviously one of the other two people had a problem with me not adequately spraying the sickly-sweet ‘odor masker’ that doesn’t do anything other than mix with the ambient scent in the restroom to make it smell even worse than it might otherwise.”

Adds our submitter: “Oh, also, this sign went up when I had only four days left working here. I have a pretty good idea how i’ll be ‘celebrating’ my last day.”

related: this!! is how!! you know!! we mean it!!

A message from your friendly fast food worker, Corey in Mount Pleasant, Michigan: “Sometimes, food service customers do not fully appreciate the people/work that goes into making their orders. It’s thought that spitting in someone’s sandwich is routine, but we often find the secret messages to be more satisfying.”

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Writes Justin in Iowa: “This was written by a coworker of mine last winter, and covers three sides of the tissue box. The tissues are long gone, but the box was apparently worth saving, and remains on the desk five months later.”

The full text: I had a cold/cough & I decided to buy some Puffs kleenex w/ lotion. Believe it or not, they’re not cheap so I’m not sharing. But hey, they still have some at the store so you could always go buy your own you know. Seriously, only because these are a little costly I’m not sharing, otherwise, you’d be all good. But again, they’re not CHEAP! How would you feel if I used up all of your “whatever”? B/c my last box… OMG! got used up so fast & it wasn’t even by me! I was so hot about it, and I know you can afford it b/c I can. I know you’re not broke b/c you work the same place I do, am I right or am I right?

related: suck on this

As always, Facebook users are keepin’ it classy.

related: Tant pis, mon amie

extra credit: STFU, Marrieds