Is drawing with MS Paint ever really necessary?

August 2nd, 2009 · 116 comments

I didn’t think office sign illustration could get more gratuitous than this guy, but then Corinna in Seattle came through with this.

Leave the toilet seat clean and dry

(Add a few hand-drawn penises and you’ve got yourself a Perez Hilton special!)

related: maybe next time you should try power point?

FILED UNDER: bathroom · office · piss · toilet · unnecessary illustration


116 responses so far ↓

  • #1   famine

    Thought the Easter Bunny had left some eggs at first glance. . .glad there’s an explanation below!

    Aug 2, 2009 at 4:14 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   T imo®

    Wow! Is this a special case of the bivariate normal distribution or a Venn diagram of suboptimal piss distribution?

    Aug 2, 2009 at 4:14 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   zombieBlanco bang

      T imo® –
      I prefer the term binormal,
      mostly because I, myself, am such a special case.

      ♥ zB

      Aug 2, 2009 at 4:22 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   famine

      Could be the bivariate normal distribution. . .Google images seems to agree – I’m more of an English person than math so I had to do some homework :-)

      Aug 2, 2009 at 4:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   zombieBlanco bang

    At first glance, it’s difficult to tell if this is a Fecal Mist Illustration or a Breast Exam Guide.

    Aug 2, 2009 at 4:15 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   lownote

    I’m a bit disappointed by this effort, only one exclamation mark is used.

    Aug 2, 2009 at 4:18 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   zenvelo

    I thought it was instructions on frying an egg. don’t break the yolk!

    Aug 2, 2009 at 4:20 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   MAMARILLA2 bang

    I feel the artist was trying to make a bold statement..conceptualizing. Truly modern and sensitive.

    Aug 2, 2009 at 4:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Banessa

    I worry about the pee on the seat. It’s quite concentrated. Makes me wonder if the artist is calling on his own experiences and in that case, they should drink more water.

    Aug 2, 2009 at 5:16 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Mishee

    I find this interesting as it is obviously a women’s bathroom, yet doesn’t the note writer know that women are scientifically proven to be cleaner and more hygienic?

    Aug 2, 2009 at 5:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   ZOW

      Perhaps as a whole, women are cleaner and molre hygienic than men, but I onced cleaned pulic restrooms and I would dare to say that men can often be cleaner.

      Too often women would leave pee all over the seat by doing the “hovering method”. Plus, there were far too many times where there were (sorry, in advance TMI) bloody tampons and sanitary napkins floating about in the toilet, or left non-wrapped in the disposal box. Sorry, but many women are just plain nasty in a public bathroom. I am sure they would never dare do that at home.

      Aug 2, 2009 at 5:48 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   TheOldSchool

      This is exactly why it is now legal for management to install cameras in women’s restrooms.

      Aug 2, 2009 at 8:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   notolaf

      I’m with TOW. Having cleaned more than my fair share of public restrooms, I have to say that, while men’s rooms generally smell much, much worse, women are downright foul in the things they do and leave behind them.

      Speaking of which, what about the skanks who drape the seat with tp so their dainty little bums will never have to touch public porcelain, then go off and leave that stuff for me to dispose of?

      Aug 2, 2009 at 8:46 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Eva

      Amen notolaf!

      Aug 2, 2009 at 8:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Wolverine Girl

      I had a job cleaning public loos once, and the worst thing was when some woman came to me and asked me to remove the toilet paper someone else had left on a seat. I was sick of being treated like some kind of slave, and I’d just gotten over a nasty stomach bug that I’m sure I picked up from my pestilential job, so I just said “What? So it’s okay for me to have to pick up someone’s germy paper and get sick?” She didn’t take that very well.

      Aug 4, 2009 at 7:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   anglophile bang

      So, you objected to doing the job you were being paid to do, Wolverine Girl?

      I, too, once cleaned toilets for a living. It doesn’t kill a person.

      Also, most stomach bugs are actually caused by consuming improperly cooked food, if my 7th-grade Home Ec teacher, Mrs. P. Dimmer was to be believed.

      Aug 4, 2009 at 6:19 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   Melanie

      Well, and there’s this nifty newfangled practice called “washing hands” that will help keep germs at bay. Especially helpful for after using (or cleaning) a public restroom.

      Aug 4, 2009 at 9:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Danielle

    *gag city*

    Do people really sit on public toilets? I myself have mastered the fine art of squatting.

    Aug 2, 2009 at 5:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Eva

      As well as the fine art of leaving piss all over the seat. No one can squat without leaving piss all over the seat.

      Aug 2, 2009 at 5:50 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Andi

      You THINK you mastered it….

      Aug 2, 2009 at 6:17 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   thatjessicagirl bang

      Isn’t that why God (or fairies or santa clause) invented toilet seat covers? I’m sorry, but when I’m taking a pee, I’m on a break. I’m checking my blackberry, planning my grocery list in my head or listening the the conversation the girl in the stall beside me is having on the phone. I’m not there to work my quads.

      I can’t imagine sitting without a pee check and 1-2 seat covers though.

      Aug 2, 2009 at 7:57 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   KatieMB

      @ 9.2

      Exactly! Damned arrogant women who think they’ve mastered the art of hovering to the point that they don’t check the results. Yet the *lucky* follow-up person knows who the Master of Hovering is… not.

      Aug 2, 2009 at 9:19 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   fluffy8u

      Penn & Teller talk about the whole toilet seat covers and germs on public toilets.

      Basically, they say that the toilet seat cover was invented by a dentist, but are actually crap. Germs like to live in a warm and wet environment, however toilet seats don’t stay very wet for a long time.

      P&T tested for germs on 4 different people on their butts, hands, faces, and (in the case of the men) genitals. Both females barely had germs on their butts, hands, and only one of them had light germ growth on her face. Both of the males had barely any germs on their butts, their hands had light growth, and one of the guys had moderate germ growth on his face. Even their genitals had light growth, proving that you should be more worried about touching someone’s hands than their backsides (and that one guy’s face).

      And urine is sterile. So even if you see drips on the seat, you’re not going to get some terrible disease and die.

      Aug 2, 2009 at 10:18 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   jetjackson

      Danielle, you need to google what happens when porcelain cracks… it tend’s to break into extremely sharp shards and when you land on those shards it tends to cut into things quite easily. If your femoral artery is cut you better hope someone notices the pool of blood oozing out the bottom of the toilet door before you bleed to death. There are some interesting photo’s of this floating around the internet…

      Aug 3, 2009 at 4:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   KatieMB

      And urine is sterile. So even if you see drips on the seat, you’re not going to get some terrible disease and die.

      That’s true. However, sometimes you can’t see the urine on the seat (or are in a desperate hurry and don’t look before you sit). If I want someone else’s urine on my body, I want it to be from a golden shower, not a toilet seat.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 6:27 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   Flaboy2425

      Well, if you are going to hover, why not put the seat up and hover over the larger area that provides? Too lazy? Loaded down with cigarettes, lighter, and books to read while you hover? How do you know you are the master hoverer?

      Aug 3, 2009 at 8:56 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   aaa

      Hovering’s fine and dandy until you have to clean up someone else’s urine. I don’t even want to touch my own nitrogenous wastes, much less anyone else’s.

      P.S. Urine’s only sterile until it comes out (assuming you don’t have a UTI). After it comes out, it can pick up bacteria and crap. And urea’s toxic. Fuck urea. D:

      P.P.S MSDS for urea. Just for fun.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 9:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.10   park rose bang

      Because they would have to touch the toilet seat, Flaboy!! Oh, the horror!
      Danielle was the hoverer. I have a feeling she wouldn’t be reading in the rest room, either.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 9:14 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.11   park rose bang

      Hooverer’s are scared of getting sucked up by the vacuum, of course… dam them ;)

      Aug 3, 2009 at 9:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.12   aaa

      Well, Park Rose, we know that not even a toilet seat cover (or one constructed out of toilet paper or whatever) will protect your ass from the many dangers of public toilet seats. Especially the urine.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 9:31 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.13   aaa

      Do the hoverers realize that they’re the reason they don’t want to sit down on the seats? :O

      Aug 3, 2009 at 9:31 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.14   park rose bang

      I think it’s time to invoke some kind of law. I’ll call out Mark and Timo.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 10:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.15   T imo® bang

      I won’t touch this with a ten foot staph repellant staff. :razz:
      People should just be required to carry around their own personal toilet seat.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 10:47 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.16   park rose bang

      :) it was more the actions of the end-result-people being responsible for the beginning of the whole sad and sorry state of affairs…
      I want a law for that.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 10:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.17   Mark bang

      aaa, I will say nothing except that MSDSs are almost always scary-sounding. And urine is hardly 100% urea.

      Beware dihydrogen monoxide!

      Aug 3, 2009 at 11:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.18   aaa

      HOLY CRAP I HAD NO IDEA URINE WAS LIKE, 95% WATER.

      Come on, man, you’ve been here long enough to know that I’m the number one proponent of Not Being Serious on PAN. :P

      Aug 3, 2009 at 1:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.19   stephizzal

      you know what danielle, i’m with you. i don’t wanna touch the toilet seat either. i have no desire to come into contact with any bodily fluid from a stranger’s nether regions regardless how ‘sterile’ it is.

      hovering can work and if you’re carefully positioned there should be no spillage. but in any case, once you’ve finished, you can do an amazing trick…

      you can turn around and LOOK to make sure you haven’t ‘sprinkled whilst you tinkled’* and if you have, you can be the proverbial sweetie and wipe the seatie

      *OH HOW ORIGINAL! ANOTHER TOILET MOTTO yeah i’m over it

      Aug 3, 2009 at 4:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.20   Anniee451

      Kudos to whoever said that the hoverers are the *reason* people don’t want to sit on the seat. My husband cleaned restrooms for about a year, and there is no contest – women are much filthier (though men make up for it by occasionally leaving something really heinous like a dead hooker or something.) That’s why they needed more people for the ladies room than the men’s, though – hell of a lot more work.

      The artwork on this note is…well damn, I have no words. I thought they were jellybeans or something.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 6:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.21   WalkingBitch bang

      AHHH so you’re the chick that I have called back into the stall she has just vacated to clean up her own *mastery*?
      I’m not here to clean up your piss. If I wanted to do that I’d have kids or breed puppies for crissakes. Sit your ass down. You aren’t picking up anything from a public toilet seat that you haven’t already picked up from your last boyfriend.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 9:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.22   Anniee451

      Well, there was nothing passive about that! Hehe

      Public bathrooms ought to install those hole-in-the-ground toilets that are MADE for hovering; the ones with seats are meant to be sat on and that’s why hovering makes a mess in them. Then we could all have a choice and the squatters could squat and the sitters could sit and no one would have a problem anymore. Some of us have physical problems that would prevent us doing anything but sitting so you’d have to leave us some seats – but at least then they’d be free of hoverpiss.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   G

    Are they suggesting that you’re supposed to leave the pee in the toilet, without flushing?

    Aug 2, 2009 at 5:54 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   LafinJack

      If it’s yellow, let it mellow.

      If it’s brown, flush it down.

      Aug 2, 2009 at 10:05 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Canthz_B bang

      OMG!! You are so fucking original!

      Yellow, mellow?
      Brown, down?

      No one has ever posted that one before! :roll:

      Aug 3, 2009 at 8:52 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   LafinJack

      Sarcasm: also original.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 11:20 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   fluffy8u

      Stating the obvious as a joke: also original.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 3:12 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Totally missing the point: priceless.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 4:07 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   fluffy8u

      Not really caring: fluffy.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 5:54 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   KatieMB

      Perfect ending to a pointless thread: fluffy. ;)

      Aug 3, 2009 at 7:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   aaa

      Totally awesome by inserting her self into places she wasn’t invited: aaa.
      :D

      Aug 3, 2009 at 7:51 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.9   KatieMB

      I’ll invite you to some place… how about the ladies room? I think they just cleaned it. ;)

      Aug 3, 2009 at 8:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   B

    I don’t get it. Don’t we all know that you shouldn’t put jelly beans on the toilet seat?

    Aug 2, 2009 at 5:57 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Anniee451

      Well you can PUT them there, just don’t eat them afterwards.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 6:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Geek Goddess

    is drawing with ms paint ever really necessary?

    YES

    Aug 2, 2009 at 6:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Geek Goddess

      Due to lack of ‘edit’ feature, and malfunction of ‘Preview’ button, the previous comment may be completely lacking in humor. We regret any inconvenience, however we are unable to refund the 15 seconds of your life that it took to read it.

      (Of course, edit shows up for THIS one.)

      Aug 2, 2009 at 6:46 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   dorkahontas bang

      Who is Ms. Paint and why does everyone hate drawing with her?

      Aug 3, 2009 at 12:13 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   zombieBlanco bang

      For months Ms. Paint went back-and-forth, back-and-forth, about allowing Professor Plum and Mr. Green to help with the drawings for the mansion MSDS. She would tell Ms. Scarlett one thing, and Ms. White another. Finally, everyone refused to play anymore games with her.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 2:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   fluffy8u

      Ms. Paint is a whore who keeps all the crayons to herself.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 3:15 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   M.E.

    Where is the water? I don’t usually poop into an ivory abyss. Usually.

    Aug 2, 2009 at 6:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   ClearlyDemented

      It’s there, just crystal clear. Notice the slightly yellow tint on the ‘yes’ side.

      Aug 2, 2009 at 7:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Alex

      I *just* noticed the ever so slightly yellow tint on the second bowl. Wow.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 4:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   ClearlyDemented

    This note is obviously discriminatory against left-facing urethras.

    Aug 2, 2009 at 7:16 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Those of you with narrow urethras can disregard completely.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 12:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   famine

      Such as Hank Hill. . .

      Aug 3, 2009 at 2:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   MattBarnette.com

    Well, it’s obvious why there’s pee on the one seat. The hole is bigger to pee in on the one with no pee on the seat. Jeez. Just use that one.

    Aug 2, 2009 at 8:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   TheOldSchool

    If the sign maker started wearing Depends, this would cease to be an issue for her.

    Plus, when that adult sized diaper is thoroughly soaked and fully loaded, your office chair feels as comfortable as Grandpa’s Lazy Boy.

    Relax…. You’re Soaking In It.

    You Can Rest Easy…. You’ve Got Depends.

    Only A Couple Of Things Come Between Me And My Depends.

    If You Were Wearing Depends, You’d Be Home Free By Now.

    Boxers or Briefs?
    Depends.

    (Coming Soon: The Depends Thong.)

    Aug 2, 2009 at 8:09 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   fluffy8u

      If it’s good enough for astronauts, it’s good enough for you!

      Aug 2, 2009 at 10:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Bookedy

    If you sprinkle
    when you tinkle
    please be neat
    and wipe the seat

    Aug 2, 2009 at 8:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      If only someone would post this on the restroom wall.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 3:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   ryanmalloy

      @17.1:
      Yeah, but please add some exclamation marks, cliparts and please use comic sans. And don’t forget the penii.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 5:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Peter

    I liked it. So much useful material. I read with great interest.

    Aug 2, 2009 at 8:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   park rose bang

      And can we ask you, what was your ultimate conclusion? To hover, or not to hover?

      Aug 2, 2009 at 8:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Howie Feltersnatch

    Now I know not to leave Canadian dollar coins on toilet seats! Thanks!

    Aug 2, 2009 at 9:12 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   not me!

      Canadian dollar coins are various-sized yellow circles and/or ovals?

      Aug 4, 2009 at 7:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   fluffy8u

    Premature Lima Beans don’t go on the toilet seat? Good to know.

    Aug 2, 2009 at 10:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   lightspeedchick

    Love the slight yellow tinge in the toilet on the right.

    Aug 2, 2009 at 11:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   kelli

    thanks for the illustration, I have now seen the error of my ways and will no longer pee on the seat. I’ll just pee on the floor.

    Aug 3, 2009 at 1:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   ryanmalloy

      …and crap in the shower.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 1:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Canthz_B bang

    As the sperm approach the egg…

    Aug 3, 2009 at 1:49 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Canthz_B bang

    At least we know this is not a German illustration…no shelf.

    Aug 3, 2009 at 1:51 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   fluffy8u

      And where are the three sea shells?

      Aug 3, 2009 at 4:34 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Canthz_B bang

    Kinda of looks like a Lysol before and after commercial.

    Aug 3, 2009 at 1:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Canthz_B bang

    Giant bacteria on seat: No.
    Dirty toilet: Yes?

    Back alley: Better!

    Aug 3, 2009 at 2:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Canthz_B bang

    Oh, I’ll dry it for you…but you’ll need your own microscope to see how freaking clean I leave it.
    God, how I love a prostitute!

    Aug 3, 2009 at 2:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   babafisa

    Andy, a very interesting post thanks for writing it!

    Aug 3, 2009 at 7:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   aaa

      Hey, Kerry’s Andy now! Cool! :D

      Aug 3, 2009 at 9:24 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   park rose bang

      Andy PANdy!

      Aug 3, 2009 at 10:19 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Anniee451

      Thank you Terry!

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   aaa

    What the fuck is wrong with these seat-pissers that’s making their urine is dandelion yellow?!?!

    Aug 3, 2009 at 9:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   park rose bang

      Well. I think we need to correct you there, aaa. It is obviously daffodil yellow.

      Narcissus was taking a pee, and as is his wont, once he finished, he stared at himself in the now yellow waters (apart from that which he’d splashed on the rim) for so long that as he knelt and gazed he fell into the water and drowned. The Narcissus plant, or the daffodil, first sprang from where he died. Those yellow egg-shaped things are the seeds, the mere germination of this sad tale, which, needless to say, has a happy ending (if you like flowers).

      Apart from being the germination of the daffodil plants that will spring forth, the seeds/piss are so yellow because he was also dehydrated as his vanity got the better of him, and he was dying from starvation and thirst. It’s a wonder he didn’t drink the water, but I guess his reflection saved him from that ignominy.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 10:30 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   oi!

      Beware TOS, You have got worthy competitor.
      rose, why do you hate Narcissists? they are totally selfless people, I mean for you have to be selfish you need to acknowledge other peoples presence in the first place. no?
      btw I am the prettiest girl on the face of this earth. total random fact, following your footsteps.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 3:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   park rose

      oi, I won’t be reaching up to or descending into the plateau at which TOS hovers any time soon.

      So saying, if I ever scale such heights, I’d like him on my side, not as an adversary.

      As for what you were saying about narcissists, I’d like to reply, but it would mean putting down my compact mirror, and… oh, who is that gorgeous woman in the mirror… ? ;)

      Aug 4, 2009 at 2:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   aaa

    I don’t think I can take this sign seriously. I mean, everyone knows that cool kids use Photoshop. Hell, I’d even take openCanvas over MS Paint (although somehow I get the feeling this dude isn’t artsy enough for openCanvas :O ). I may have to break my vow of not being a jackass seat-pisser and piss all over this dude’s toilet seats just to spite him.

    Aug 3, 2009 at 9:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   not me!

      I dunno, I think this has to be PowerPoint or Visio. Much better editing capabilities with the autoshapes, and all. I mean, he HAD to be able to position those droplets just right, you know?

      Plus, it looks like the only thing keeping those toilet seats from being full ovals is the nontransparent YES and NO text boxes at the top.

      Come to think of it–it would be soooo easy to cut out the YES and NO and switch them–if, that is, you are ok with having that much manual contact with that sheet after it’s been hanging over the toilet.

      Aug 4, 2009 at 8:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Woman on the Verge

    At first glance, I thought this was an illustration of the eyes of an albino with an unfortunate sty problem.

    Aug 3, 2009 at 1:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Danielle

    My pee isn’t so bad-ass that I can’t aim it into the toilet.

    I’m not the one leaving yellow easter eggs on the toilet seat.

    My theory on how pee gets onto the seat is this:
    tinkle fairy.

    Aug 3, 2009 at 1:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Eva

      #1. Nesting comment fail.

      #2. There is no woman in the world who can release a fine steady stream of urine like a penis does. It just doesn’t happen that way.

      #3. My pee happens to be extremely bad-ass.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 2:14 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   KatieMB

      So this thread has been reduced to a pissing match…

      Aug 4, 2009 at 6:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Most of them are.

      Aug 7, 2009 at 4:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Adam

    I took the picture as a response to the title a la A Night At the Roxbury.

    Aug 3, 2009 at 2:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   T.OC

    I share a house with other people. One of them is always pissing all over the toilet seat in the middle of the night. Maybe I should get a sign like this done up and posted? He can’t speak any damn English so the pictures might help.

    Aug 3, 2009 at 4:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   aaa

      If he can’t speak any English, I suggest ushering him into the bathroom after he leaves piss on it, pointing at the piss, and then start gesticulating wildly with some pruning shears in the vicinity of his dick while screaming wildly. I think he’d get the point then.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 7:46 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   Canthz_B bang

    Once the seat is consistently wiped, can our note about flushing yellow water be far behind?

    Oh! Joy!!

    Aug 3, 2009 at 4:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   yomama

    I would have understood the diagram much better if there had been ample matter inside the toilet bowl.

    Aug 3, 2009 at 4:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Chelsea

    Just a note in defense of hoverers–Have you ever noticed that public toilets have an epic flush? And that some of that water splashes on the seat? I’ve been grossed out many times by women, then begrudgingly cleaned the seat, hovered (if there was grossness I cleaned that up too) and the flushed to see water back on the seat. So sometimes you’re blaming people you shouldn’t be blaming. Check it out post flush sometime.

    Aug 3, 2009 at 7:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Geek Goddess

      …when the person you should be blaming is the toilet.

      Aug 3, 2009 at 7:27 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   aaa

      Did you know that fecal mist will spray wildly through your body into your soul if the seat isn’t down when you flush?

      Aug 3, 2009 at 7:48 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Danielle

    “…release a fine steady stream of urine like a penis does”

    Have you ever SEEN a guy pee? You really think they release a steady stream?

    Aug 4, 2009 at 10:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   oi

      Talking to oneself without any context what so ever is discouraged here. Even if it is very popular in crazyland, stupidania.
      kthanx.

      Aug 4, 2009 at 10:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   Mark bang

      It’s pretty steady. Except after sex. Then it’s, um, not steady. Multi-streamed.

      Aug 4, 2009 at 10:28 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      That’s why you stand closer to the bowl and lift the seat.

      Aug 7, 2009 at 12:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Danielle

    oi, I was responding to eva. kthanx

    Aug 4, 2009 at 1:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   T imo® bang

      Danielle I think oi was attempting to point out that you didn’t reply to eva in the same thread so that your comment appeared out of context and so was all :???:
      If you click the blueish “reply to this comment” right under the comment you want to reply to,like eva’s, it will locate your comment in the same thread…

      LIITP

      Aug 4, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Will

    there’s gold bouillon on the toilet! score!!

    Aug 4, 2009 at 9:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   orangetiki

    you stole Adobe Illustrator for this?

    Aug 6, 2009 at 2:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   K

    In fact there are instances where MS Paint still prevails… ;)

    http://screwphotoshop.wordpress.com

    Aug 7, 2009 at 4:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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