Iron-ic Chef America

August 4th, 2009 · 205 comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I own a restaurant, and the writer of the note is a college student who has worked for me for a while now.  Yesterday, her pal flatly refused to put on her uniform (a chef coat) and I was so tired of her shenanigans that I roared at her right before service to get out. I was actually surprised that the writer of the note didn’t ‘sympathy quit’ right then, but her professionalism clearly shines through in this note.”

Why do you hate the planet?

p.p.p.p.s. God, I hope this girl shows up on a Bravo/Food Network reality show. I need more of this delicious naivete!

related: this shit is bananas

FILED UNDER: butterflies are so passive-aggressive · farewell letter · nice stationery · p.s. · restaurant · The Earth


205 responses so far ↓

  • #1   kt

    swordfish have worms?? ULLLLCCCCCH *vom*

    Aug 4, 2009 at 10:33 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   eddy

    That swordfish was fuc-*BLARGH*

    Aug 4, 2009 at 10:39 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Wade bang

    “I dislike watching you goad me.”

    Did the blindfold slip?

    Aug 4, 2009 at 10:40 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Canthz_B bang

      She should have told him earlier that the mirror on the ceiling was a turn-off.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 1:03 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   fluffy8u

      At first, I thought it was “I dislike watching you goat me.” What? Then I read Wade’s comment. Thanks Wade! Then I looked it up.

      Web definitions for goad
      spur: give heart or courage to

      And if you didn’t think this note was ridiculous before… “I really hate the fact that you’re encouraging! You sicken me.”

      Aug 5, 2009 at 1:27 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   haz

      huh? do you know how to read a dictionary? goad has multiple meanings, including it’s most used one: to spur as with a cattle prod

      Aug 5, 2009 at 5:32 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Snippy

      So, haz, you’ve been poking your nose into Claw’s room again.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 7:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   fluffy8u

      Yes, I do know how to read a dictionary, however I just googled it. Forgive me, Oh Great Haz for not commanding google to give me all definitions of a word! I humbly beg your forgiveness!

      Aug 5, 2009 at 8:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Wade bang

      I encourage you not to allow haz to goad you, fluffy!

      Aug 5, 2009 at 9:02 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Snippy

      Oooooh, fluffy’s a submissive.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 9:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   bored

      oooooh, Snippy’s cheesy.

      coughnoticeabsenceofartilcecough

      Aug 5, 2009 at 9:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   Wade bang

      I hope not too bored to edit. ;)

      Aug 5, 2009 at 9:20 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   bored

      @ wade: I don’t understand your comment.
      I was pointing at snippy’s mistake that he put article before submissive even it was not followed by girl or whatever.
      You do not put article before adjective if the adjective is not followed by the noun in the question, right?

      Aug 6, 2009 at 9:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.11   amy d bang

      @ bored: You misspelled article. Also, I believe that those who are into sadomasochism to refer to themselves as “a submissive” or “a dom”.

      I’m not 100% certain of this. I could be making it up in my own head.

      Aug 6, 2009 at 9:57 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.12   Shane

      “I dislike watching you goatse me”.

      Aug 7, 2009 at 10:58 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   ABF

    I’m surprised she’s smart enough to know it’s P.P.S. instead of P.S.S.

    …are you SURE a college student wrote that??

    Aug 4, 2009 at 10:41 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Sara

      “…are you SURE a college student wrote that??”

      I was thinking the same thing! It looks like a middle school student wrote it, what with the butterfly stationary, the use of a pencil, the language, and the multiple “P.S.’s”. It sounds like a typical breaking-up-with-your-friend note that a 12-year-old would write and stick in someone’s locker.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:18 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   fluffy8u

      “And you can totally can give all the stuff I left at your house to Jamie. And tell Rick that Jamie is breaking up with him too.” It’s like she used the break up letter as a template for a one week notice.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 1:38 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   techimpaired

    I thought the note was pretty straight forward and non-PA until “why do you hate the planet” was tacked on at the end.
    P.S. Are butterflies the new must have PA stationary?
    P.P.S Why wasn’t I informed?
    P.P.P.S I now hate the planet and all butterflies!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Aug 4, 2009 at 10:42 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   aaa

      Well, throwing a tantrum and telling Anon. Submitter she dislikes him/her is pretty straightforward. And Just Plain Aggressive.

      Aug 4, 2009 at 11:36 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   DB

      I thought the “offer” to work for two weeks if needed with the single line strike-through was prettyPA

      Aug 5, 2009 at 11:33 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   fluffy8u

      Techi, didn’t you know? Butterflies are the most horrific creatures in the world! There was even a Japanese movie made about a giant Butterfly in Tokyo!! It was so cool! The butterfly was like “RAWR!!! I’m a butterfly!!!” and the people were all like “Oh noes!!! Scream and run away!!!”

      Aug 5, 2009 at 1:49 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Bunnee bang

      Spongebob had an episode verrrry similar sounding, Fluffy.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   KatieMB

      Great Fluffy, now I’ll have “Attack of the Giant Butterfly”nightmares.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   BrookeDiz

      At least butterflies don’t have worms.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 3:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   Geek Goddess

      Butterflies are worms. They start out as wriggly lil ole caterpillars.

      *Ponders the fact that butterflies are insects. Large colorful insects*

      Aug 5, 2009 at 5:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   mamason bang

      *wonders what butterflies get in their tummies when they’re nervous*

      Aug 5, 2009 at 8:00 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   fluffy8u

      Mama, they get humans in their tummies.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 8:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   Geek Goddess

      You don’t need to worry about what they get in their tummies when they are nervous. It is what comes out of their tummies when they are nervous that really impacts.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 8:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   MAMARILLA2 bang

      @5-3 Wasn’t it a giant moth….Mothra…and Godzilla?

      Aug 7, 2009 at 11:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Wade bang

    If the swordfish are riddled with foot long parasitic worms, wouldn’t it be loving the planet to overfish them and get them out of the food chain?

    Aug 4, 2009 at 10:42 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Mark bang

      You worm-ist! Why do you hate the poor, defenseless worms?

      Aug 4, 2009 at 10:56 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   as of two weeks ago, clean-shaven dave bang

      En garde!

      Aug 4, 2009 at 11:22 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Geek Goddess

      I thumbed you, aotwa,c-sd!, just because I like your name.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 1:51 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   park rose bang

      I thumbed you, geek, just cos’ I like you.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 7:54 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Michelle S.

      That foot-long parasitic worm was fucking delicious!

      Aug 5, 2009 at 11:18 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   Pishposh

      Parasites are just another part of nature’s balancing act. Aggressive anthropogenic harvesting and agriculture is not. Why do you hate the planet?

      Aug 5, 2009 at 1:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   T imo®

      Hmmm, I wonder what wine pairs well with foot long parasitic worm? Chianti?

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   Mark bang

      Not wine. Tequila.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 3:14 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.9   Snippy

      Thanks, Mark. Now I have a foot-long ear-worm, complete with staccato sax.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 4:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.10   Wade bang

      I’ll take anthropogenic harvesting over ascarididaphilia any day. ;)

      Aug 5, 2009 at 7:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.11   T imo® bang

      Did you put your white platform shoes and jump up and do the Pee Wee dance too Snippy? Tequila!

      Aug 6, 2009 at 11:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.12   MAMARILLA2 bang

      But has everybody heard about the Bird.

      Aug 6, 2009 at 12:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.13   Snippy

      The bird is the word.

      Aug 6, 2009 at 5:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   ibiza

    I love the juxtaposition of the passive-aggressiveness and the cute butterfly stationery.

    Aug 4, 2009 at 10:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Kelly

      That stationery looks like parchment… I want some! It would be perfect for my Harry Potter fanfic.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 8:17 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   anglophile bang

    Why do you hate the planet? And why do you hate meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

    Aug 4, 2009 at 10:44 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Kelly

      Because you have foot-long parasitic worms.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 8:15 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   KatieMB

      You don’t like how I goad you.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Because you use butterfly parchment.

      Aug 8, 2009 at 11:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    Her mom kept her job for her by banging her boss.
    Now that she’s given her “one weeks” notice, Mom can move on…unless she’s used to the free swordfish dinners by now.

    Aug 4, 2009 at 11:02 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   anglophile bang

      Foot-long, eh?

      Aug 4, 2009 at 11:07 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   J

      “free swordfish dinners”? Is that what you kids are calling it these days?

      Aug 4, 2009 at 11:23 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Canthz_B bang

      I think the euphemism mom has been using was summed up by ‘Glo.
      Mom told her daughter there was a foot-long worm in her fish. Daughter assumed she was referring to the menu, not Chef ExtenZe!

      Not sure what the kids are saying these days. ;-)

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:14 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   mamason bang

      Foot long? Puh-leeeeze! Do you know why women have such a difficult time determining distance? Huh? Do ya?

      It’s because men swear that this

      —————————————————-

      is 8 inches! :roll:

      *dad was such a liar*

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:21 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   Canthz_B bang

      It’s not!? 8-O
      My health teacher is in for such a beat-down!

      Aug 5, 2009 at 3:07 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   famous_lizzy

    I’m trying to figure out what a resevence is. Hopefully she isn’t naive enough to believe that restaurants would offer severance pay, especially to a college student who uses butterfly stationary.

    Aug 4, 2009 at 11:02 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   techimpaired

      It’s not resevence, it’s reference.

      Aug 4, 2009 at 11:20 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   anglophile bang

      *thinking maybe techimpaired should change name to jokerecognitionimpaired*

      Aug 5, 2009 at 9:23 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   gwenhwyfaer

      In fairness, it was wearing extremely effective camouflage, hiding in a big forest and subliminally whispering “I’m not really a joke, I’m just a continuation of these bushes here” to anyone who looked like they might be checking it out.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:32 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   famous_lizzy

      I enjoy making people work for their laughs. If they have to think for a while, I feel like I’ve done a public service. Also, that girl’s handwriting needs some work.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 3:05 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Snippy

      So you’re suggesting that the note writer needs a hand job.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 4:16 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   famous_lizzy

      I this point, I think we all do.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 4:21 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   techimpaired

      In response to 10.4:
      I refuse to think for a while, that’s why I come here. Oh, and for the hand jobs too. Those help retard the thinking process.

      Aug 7, 2009 at 11:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   situational lefty

    I think she meant she was tired of watching you “Goat” me.

    God forbid if she ever gets the Bat Wing.

    Aug 4, 2009 at 11:04 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   C.S. Harmonikah

      You looked. You’re so gay.
      I’m kicking you in the ass.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:27 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   situational lefty

      Being the coolest person in this thread is like being the smartest person with Down Syndrome.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:06 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   NoExit

      This is an exercise in retarded homophobic futility.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 11:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   fluffy8u

      I just wanted to let you know, I got the reference.
      There are few things in this world more unsettling than going in the back to grab some condiments and end up staring at a huge, steaming pile of cock.

      Oh, and uh, push the fish, it’s about to turn.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 1:59 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Snippy

      “Pushing the fish”? Is that what you kids are calling it these days?

      Not to be confused with “startling the squid,” of course.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 4:06 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Canthz_B bang

      Is Corey on this thread?

      He’s my role model!!

      Someday…

      Aug 6, 2009 at 2:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    Swordfish don’t have worms.
    Worms are surrounded by swordfish.

    Aug 4, 2009 at 11:04 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   50D

    This one deserves an award.

    Aug 4, 2009 at 11:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    I think we can file the “don’t need a reference” under “Goes without saying”.
    One doesn’t generally expect a nice write-up after telling someone they suck!

    Aug 4, 2009 at 11:07 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   mamason bang

      Depends on the profession.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:03 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Canthz_B bang

      If she sucked, everything would be copacetic!

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:14 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   mamason bang

      Not parasitic?

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:17 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Canthz_B bang

      Damned leeches!

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   park rose bang

      14.2 Copasetic? 8O

      Random readers, scroll below before you bawl me out ;)

      Aug 5, 2009 at 7:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   Canthz_B bang

      LOL, Rose!
      I must confess to never having actually seen it in writing, but my spell-checker wasn’t offended by it as spelled! :oops:

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   VegasBarbie

    I want to know the backstory behind “leave my mother, me and everyone connected with me alone” comment….

    Aug 4, 2009 at 11:09 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   goose

      +1

      either note-writer is stupidly paranoid, or ex-boss is some kind of psycho stalker.

      Aug 4, 2009 at 11:59 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Canthz_B bang

      I guess you’ve got to be a “Chuck” fan to picture that one.
      The boss at the Buy More is sleeping with the mother of one of the employees.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Josie

    I get the feeling there’s more to the girls’ side than the submitter is telling… It seems more passive-aggressive to submit the note than to leave it.

    Aug 4, 2009 at 11:13 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   aaa

      The same can be said of any PAN. But that doesn’t make the note any less humorous. Or creepy.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:05 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   you suck at craigslist

    Wait, I thought worms were GOOD for the environment! Wouldn’t foot-long worms be the best thing ever?

    Aug 4, 2009 at 11:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Canthz_B bang

      Depends on the size of the bun!

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   MissPinkKate

    “yesterday, her pal flatly refused to put on her uniform (a chef coat)”

    Whose pal? The owner’s pal? The employee’s pal?

    Aug 4, 2009 at 11:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Canthz_B bang

      “the writer of the note”

      Read much?

      The question should be: “Whose uniform?”

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:19 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   fluffy8u

      The boss’s?

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Does the fact that the Boss has to clarify which uniform she refused to put on imply that perhaps there were other “uniforms” that she had to wear?

      Aug 6, 2009 at 12:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   aaa

    So who the fuck exactly does Note Writer think she is that makes her special enough for Anonymous Submitter to want to bother with her or her family or her “connections” after she’s quit? The submitter’s probably glad to be rid of her. I’ve never met the girl and I could feel my disdain for her grow exponentially with every sentence.

    P.S. If you have to get your friend to put in your resignation for you, you’re a spineless, dumbass jellyfish.

    P.P.S. Anonymous Submitter is awesome for using the word “shenanigans”.

    P.P.P.S. Go Team Venture.

    Aug 4, 2009 at 11:42 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   C.S. Harmonikah

      That’s the first thing i thought.
      Self-important much?
      You’re a part time restaurant worker. Nobody cares about your friends or family or if you need a reference or where you’re going to work or why. Take your many “dislikes” and your odd co-dependent symbiotic employment situation, and go fuck yourself.
      And fuck your butterfly stationary. What are you, 67 years old?

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:35 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   aaa

      Hey now, there’s nothing wrong with 67 year olds going back to college.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:24 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   gwenhwyfaer

      Although if the restaurateur is doing her mother…

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:37 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   aaa

      I thought the restaurateur was doing her father and blackmailing her mother. :O

      P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.

      The “n” versus “no n” thing for the word restaurateur is weird.

      http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/restaurateur

      Aug 5, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   aaa

    Note writer loses major points for misspelling parasitic. Misspelling parasitic is like misspelling dog. :/

    Aug 4, 2009 at 11:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   goose

      My dag had parisetic werms so I had to have him put down :(

      Aug 4, 2009 at 11:57 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   park rose bang

      aaa.

      Not really.
      How do you pronounce cent? You can see how it is spelt/spelled. ‘c’ can have a /s/ or a /k/ pronunciation (and probably others), which leads to misspellings.

      How about the spelling of stationary/stationery in this comment thread?

      I’m the paracritic, of course. I only concentrate on paragraphs (when not commenting on phonetics and homophones).

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:53 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   Canthz_B bang

      Paracite? 8-O

      Aug 5, 2009 at 1:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   Geek Goddess

      I only concentrate on paragraphs (when not commenting on phonetics and homophones).

      *not that there is anything wrong with that*

      Aug 5, 2009 at 1:55 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   mamason bang

      Aaaaaack! GG beat me to it! :-P

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:05 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   aaa

      Okay, fine. It’s more like spelling crab with a K or Jesus with a C (or two). Sure letters can have more than one sound attached to them in the English language, but parasite is a basic enough word for a college student to have figured it out years before. :O

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.7   Snippy

      aaa, krab (as in “Krab Salad”) is spelled that way because it does not meet the requirements to be labeled as being or containing actual crab. When you see food items with these odd misspellings (e.g., “kreme filling,” or “chocolatey chip cookies”), it means that they are made with cheaper and/or artificial ingredients substituted for the genuine article. In short, they’re fakes. Consider, for example, Pamela Anderson’s “bewbz” or Lou Dobbs’s “brayns.”

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:03 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.8   Geek Goddess

      Aaaaaack! GG beat me to it! :-P

      *Not that there is anything wrong with that*

      Aug 5, 2009 at 5:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Squawkers McCaw

    Dear former boss,

    Yesterday you fired me. Today, I see you have my Shenanigan Casserole on the menu board. Tired of it, eh? You’ll be hearing from my attorney, as soon as my best friend finishes her bachelor’s degree, and then law school.

    Sincerely,
    Coatless Chef

    Aug 4, 2009 at 11:57 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   ZZ

    I think for the first time in some time I’m laughing much more at the submitter then the note itself. I can only hope formatting of the submitters message got lost during the migration to post.

    Yeah, the p.p.p.s was kinda over the top, but frankly the rest of the note was pretty darn professional from most of the stuff I have seen. Seems to me, Mr or Miss anon submitter feels like she’s been wronged but can’t really justify it with reason, so she’s playing for sympathy.

    Aug 5, 2009 at 12:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   C.S. Harmonikah

      Really? Really?
      You think it’s “pretty darn professional”? Not a petty, irrational, preteen temper-tantrum.
      Are you fucking retarded?

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:40 am   rating: 52  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   Canthz_B bang

      “I quit, and you’re a stinky meanie.” isn’t quite my idea of “pretty darn professional”.
      But then, I would have said “darned”, so go figure.

      It’s a free country.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:52 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   cheeky

      Oh come on, if writing “I will extend this to two weeks if you have any trouble covering my shifts” and then crossing it out isn’t professional I don’t know what is!

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:39 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   A

      A resignation is not professional unless it is typed and on plain white paper.

      Also, to be really professional, it must incorporate at least 10 exclamation points, clip art, random capitalization, and 3 different fonts.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 3:56 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   KatieMB

      Just wondering what your frame of reference is that you’d consider this to be a professional resignation.

      Perhaps daycare, where resignations are standardly offered via a poopy diaper?

      Aug 5, 2009 at 6:43 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.6   anglophile bang

      I once witnessed a maintenance man resign by throwing his cell phone at my boss and yelling Fuck you! at her. In front of a bunch of customers.

      It wasn’t very professional, but it was awesome. It’s definitely on my Top Five Ways To Resign list.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 9:48 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.7   aaa

      My preferred method of resignation is leaving a steaming pile of feces on the boss’ desk. But that’s just me.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:38 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.8   C.S. Harmonikah

      I’ve alway wanted to quit a job via complete meltdown over an intercom system like on “Half-Baked”

      “Fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool….and fuck you I’m out!”

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:52 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.9   C.S. Harmonikah

      But the phone throwing is pretty nice. It’s the only thing that could make this note more childish. Tantrums always hit their crescendo with throwing random objects or pounding fist to the floor.

      There’s always hope that “butterfly notepad girl” will utilize those options at her next resignation

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.10   aaa

      I’d love to resign like the Nameless Protagonist did in Fight Club. Unfortunately, I’m neither Edward Norton nor employed in a corporate-type environment.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.11   Kelly

      aaa, that’s my preferred method of saying good morning!

      Aug 5, 2009 at 11:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.12   Canthz_B bang

      ‘Glo, I’ve done the “Fuck You!!” resignation, but by far my favorite was the time (as a dishwasher) I turned off the machine and stopped washing dishes as the cooks ran out of plates. It was lobster night. Ever seen anyone eat a lobster without the claw crackers? Everything in the restaurant was dirty, the water in the machine was cold, and when the owner who didn’t give me my promised pay raise came running up to me screaming obscenities, I walked quietly to the time-clock and punched out.

      It was glorious!

      Aug 5, 2009 at 9:51 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Silhouette

    Dear Coatless,

    NICE GOING GETTING ME IN TROUBLE EARLIER!!!!!!

    Sincerely,
    Butterfly McPrincess

    Aug 5, 2009 at 12:42 am   rating: 52  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   cTo

    Actually spear-fished swordfish is very sustainable. Granted it represents a smaller and smaller percent of the market share every year.

    Aug 5, 2009 at 2:06 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   goose

      Yeah, it’s losing out badly to sword-fished spearfish.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:26 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   shwonline

      The parasitic worms are clearly eating up market share.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 11:19 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Canthz_B bang

    Sku-zahn! We have an irate employee note!

    Ooh, sounds delicious! What’s that marinade she’s using there?

    Sku-zahn! It’s a mixture of “I never could stand your ass” and “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!”

    Aug 5, 2009 at 2:23 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   cheeky

    Dear Ms. Quitter,

    Don’t you know how many trees are cut down just to provide the world with enough butterfly stationary for everyone’s PA needs?
    You should’ve used email instead. Why do YOU hate the planet?

    Aug 5, 2009 at 2:34 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Bunnee

      Yeah! Why did you make baby Al Gore cry?

      Aug 5, 2009 at 11:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   mizkitteh

    this note is awesome, but the restaurant owner sounds like a bitch.

    Aug 5, 2009 at 4:17 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   KatieMB

      Yeah because she wanted her employee to do her job. I hate those kind of bosses!!

      Aug 5, 2009 at 6:46 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   C.S. Harmonikah

      I’m always amazed how often people side with the people that write silly, stupid PA notes over something petty that a logical adult should be able to handle in a better manner.

      Team I dont write PA notes because I’m not socially retarded

      Aug 5, 2009 at 11:00 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   mamason bang

      Team I do write PA notes and until now I didn’t realize it was yet another symptom of my social retardation. :lol:

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   KatieMB

      I don’t write PA notes because I’m all out of butterfly stationary AND I’m not socially retarded. ;)

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.5   park rose

      The bosses I’ve worked for in the restaurant game are usually sein and responsabl and are nevah responsabl for the chaos and bad feeling that seems to accompany their every footstep and breathing moment.

      21 year old or younger versus 50 year old tyrant? The note’s melodramatic, sure . . . but I’m betting boss lady/man is high on criticism and low on praise. And meddlesome. And it’s professional to bawl someone out and sack them just before service? I bet it wasn’t the first time that the boss got up to such shenanigans, nor the first time he/she has lost staff, leaving everyone else in the lurch.

      The fact that the note-writer didn’t ‘sympathy quit’ right then and there does show a certain level of professionalism that I am sure was not appreciated.

      Could be wrong, of course.

      (refer to Snippy @ 20.7)

      Aug 5, 2009 at 3:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.6   mizkitteh

      to me, the issue is not the stuff in the note, but what the submitter said in his/her email. “delicious naivete?!” sounds condescending to me. I’ve worked in food service before, and if your employees are saying “I dislike you” (or worse), you’ve got to step back and ask yourself what you could be doing better.

      Aug 6, 2009 at 8:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.7   C.S. Harmonikah

      mamason, if it makes you feel better, I think the regular commenters are all probably socially retarded. It’s like the island of misfit toys. It’s great.

      Aug 6, 2009 at 11:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.8   Suzi

      If you’re a boss, esp. in a restaurant where not all the employees are stellar and almost no one wants to be there, and you are worried about being liked you’ve got to step back and wonder how long it will take before you get fired for lacking leadership.

      Aug 13, 2009 at 3:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   KoT

    Ah, yes … another college student being liberally indoctrinated:

    Somehow eating is now partially responsible for the demise of the planet?

    Just like the Malthusian global warmers (now climate changers) that can’t bemoan the over 3600 RECORD LOWS in the past two months!

    For some strange reason … swordfish, global temperatures, and other planet “conundrums” really don’t give a shit what people think …

    Aug 5, 2009 at 8:06 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   CremeBrulee

      For some strange reason, conspiracy theorists and purveyors of junk science find it appropriate to use even a college student’s PA resignation as a platform for their ravings. How are things down at Area 51?

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:57 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Lisa

    This one looks promising, but unfortunately I find it illegible. Anyone care to transcribe?

    Aug 5, 2009 at 9:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   mamason bang

      no

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   BrookeDiz

      Me neither.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 3:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   tinkerbell2

      you might need new glasses as we all managed OK. also, my lunch break is over now so I don’t have time..

      Aug 6, 2009 at 8:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   kelli

    If I was the boss, I’d not give her any shifts that last week.

    It’s such a grade school letter. How are these people getting into college unable to form a simple sentence?

    Aug 5, 2009 at 10:27 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   aaa

      You’d be surprised. I go to a private university and have run across people who could barely spell and had no idea who Oscar Wilde was.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 10:41 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Kelly

      My bologna has a first name…

      Wait, that’s not right.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 11:10 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   T imo® bang

      Doesn’t he drive the Weinermobile?

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   mamason bang

      Yeah, but can he park it?

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.5   anglophile bang

      He can park it, but he’s kinda picky about the space he parks it into, ifyouknowwhatimeanandithinkyoudo.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:03 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.6   fluffy8u

      Getting into college isn’t so much about grades anymore as it’s more about do you have the money. I graduated with all As and couldn’t get into college because I didn’t have financial backing. Once I did, they welcomed me with open arms. I hate my school. I should quit.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.7   KatieMB

      If you quit, write a letter to the President of the University explaining why. It should be written in pencil and don’t forget to mention that your roommate is quitting too.

      And dammit, be sure to tell him that the swordfish from last Thursday’s dinner made you puke. It might be due to the parasites.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:55 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.8   fluffy8u

      I was going to do the passive route and just let him know via the ketchup on the wall of the cafeteria.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 8:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   TP

    Restaurant owners tend to be a breed of people that can either be really cool or can make your life hell if you work for them. I may have sided with the girl if only she expressed herself more clearly. Yes, sounding intelligent really can get you places in this world, young lady, now stop that major in marine biology right quick and get yourself some extra English classes!

    Aug 5, 2009 at 10:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Meh bang

      So the probable misunderstanding and improper use of “goad” and the loose connection between serving swordfish at a restaraunt and global overfishing don’t make her sound intelligent? Well, atleast her sentence fluency is good…

      Aug 5, 2009 at 12:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   aaa

    P.P.P.P.P.P.S

    Your “one-weeks notice”, eh? So, are you being facetious because you like Metalocalypse, or are you just a dumbass?

    Aug 5, 2009 at 10:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Tim

    “I roared at…”

    Chef Jerk sounds a real meanie.

    Aug 5, 2009 at 12:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Meh bang

      Must be half lion.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 1:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   Snippy

      Perhaps his name is Griffin… which seems more likely than Chimera.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 2:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Meh bang

    Note to self:

    One must use large words clearly and in the proper context in order to sound intelligent.

    Aug 5, 2009 at 1:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   anglophile bang

    *sigh*

    I wish once, just once, someone would test my honor.

    *resumes knitting*

    Aug 5, 2009 at 2:09 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   mamason bang

      This is a test. This is only a test.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 3:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   jaywalke

      She offered her honor.
      He honored her offer,
      and all the night long it was
      on-her and off-her.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 3:29 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.3   anglophile bang

      Poetry is always appreciated, jaywalke. ;)

      Aug 5, 2009 at 4:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.4   fluffy8u

      We here at PAN do enjoy such fine and beautiful poetry.

      Aug 5, 2009 at 8:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.5   MAMARILLA2 bang

      There once was a Lad from Nantucket…

      Aug 15, 2009 at 10:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.6   Geek Goddess

      Who kept several squid in a bucket…

      Aug 16, 2009 at 5:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   fluffy8u

    The submitter should know that she shouldn’t add so many post scripts. It makes her sound spacey. She just should have rewrote it. And in pen. the pencil isn’t a pleasant look. She should team up with Matt, they can learn the art of writing personal letters together.

    Aug 5, 2009 at 8:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Nikki

    This could easily have be written to my loser ex-boss. Especially the “leave my mom alone part” I bet the recipient is extremely skeezy.

    Aug 5, 2009 at 8:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   CatB

      Really? I think this chick sounds crazy. If the boss is such a jerk, why is he/she trying to get close to this person’s family and friends?

      Or if the boss is trying to get so close to the note writer’s family/friends, why is he/she being such a jerk?

      Aug 6, 2009 at 12:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   Canthz_B bang

      Last time some brat told me to leave his mom alone…I married her!!

      This girl needs a reality check.

      Mommy and Daddy both love you, they just don’t love each other anymore. Besides, Dear, the divorce was finalized nine years ago and Mommy needs some lovin’…okay?

      Aug 6, 2009 at 12:18 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.3   Nikki

      I don’t think that “leave my mom alone” would be breaking up a budding relationship when the situation is that skeezy boss is constantly hitting on someone who doesn’t want the attention. It could go both ways.

      Aug 6, 2009 at 8:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   crazybeachcat bang

    i’m surprised, but this is a rare time that i actually don’t think the writer sounds like the idiot/psycho/freak. i bet the boss is a total asshole…i can just feel it. the chick may be kinda immature (cut her some slack, though, she’s probably like 19), but working with an owner who makes work hell on earth is worse.

    Aug 6, 2009 at 2:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Canthz_B bang

      19 is an excuse to think the world revolves around you?
      Any clue as to how fast her job will be filled by an unemployed computer programmer?
      Putting on proper attire is Hell on Earth?

      Please buy a vowel in a puzzle with only one blank space left, would ya?

      Aug 6, 2009 at 2:40 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   crazybeachcat bang

      uh, no, 19 isn’t an excuse to think the world revolves around you, but it is still young and as you may have noticed, children/adolescents DO have to grow up and learn that they aren’t the only person on this earth. they tend to be fairly narcissistic.

      i’m not sure how long it will take before her job will be filled by an unemployed computer programmer…i guess that would all depend on the job market in the area where this restaurant is located, the state of its industry and economy, etc. the economy is hitting folks pretty hard, so it probably won’t take too long, unfortunately.

      i’ve made a terrible mistake, please forgive me, i somehow forgot that saying a boss makes work hell on earth only refers to a boss who makes you put on proper attire. there’s nothing else that could be included in that general reference about bosses who suck.

      what? you can’t buy a vowel in a puzzle unless you have $250, and if there’s only that one blank space then i wouldn’t have the $250 to buy anything, because i wouldn’t have been able to earn any money by correctly choosing the right consonants in the puzzle. that would be quite a confusing mess.

      Aug 6, 2009 at 3:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   Don

      Yea I’m gonna have to say the boss sounds like a total douche on this one. I mean, this is someone giving notice. It’s not like they left it on the wall.

      Aug 6, 2009 at 2:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Having been the Boss that wrote employees up for improper uniform, Yeah, I was a douche…The waitress with the perfectly gorgeous open toed shoes (not non-slip) should have been allowed to turn her shift and her ankle if she wanted to.

      Aug 6, 2009 at 2:37 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.5   C.S. Harmonikah

      I stand by my comment
      #22.1

      A lot of people have mean bosses. But most people dont handle it like a spoiled 14 year old bitch.

      Aug 6, 2009 at 7:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.6   Nikki

      She’s probably more intelligent than he is considering it does not take a college degree to run a restaurant. I agree though about the boss seeming like an a-hole. He, a “mature adult” took the time out to scan a note in and post it on the internet for shits and giggles. Most people with any class wouldn’t even give it a second thought.

      I think her note was very well written. But what do I know, I’m just a stupid mid-20s college grad who used to work in a restaurant with a boss much like this guy.

      Aug 6, 2009 at 8:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.7   Wade bang

      Very well written? Very well written?

      :lol:

      Oh, and thankfully the submitter isn’t “most people”, or we wouldn’t have this site to enjoy.

      Aug 6, 2009 at 8:19 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.8   Suzi

      Being a college graduate who also used to work in a restaurant, I will have to say that bosses are often dicks who resent college students.

      And this note is why.

      Aug 13, 2009 at 2:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.9   Canthz_B bang

      Wait, Suzi…You worked in a restaurant, and feel qualified to say that bosses are often dicks?

      Go back to school, my dear…go back to school…
      Shouldn’t that be “As a college graduate, …”?
      Not top honors, huh?

      Your boss being a dick didn’t mean he resented college students, but that you feel that way shows what a self-centered, superior attitude you showed your boss.

      crazybeachcat, I didn’t sell you as short as you’ve sold yourself. I assumed you’d have gotten a few letters along the way, and would be able to afford a vowel.
      Since you admit that you would not have, I stand corrected.
      You are clearly not at the intellectual level I gave you credit for, so my joke was unfair to you.
      My apologies.

      As the original host of “The Wheel”, Chuck Woolery, once said on the show…”You’ve got to be dumber than a red brick not to get that one!”

      Nikki, I don’t know what type of restaurant you worked in, but bachelors’ degrees in restaurant management are on offer.

      Aug 16, 2009 at 1:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.10   Madison

      Be honest, were you drinking when you wrote this Canthz?
      Your bitchiness is extremely impressive. Kudos.

      Aug 16, 2009 at 8:32 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.11   Canthz_B bang

      Aw, you’re breaking my heart!

      Notice how I did it all without the use of profanity. :-P

      Aug 16, 2009 at 2:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.12   Suzi

      Shouldn’t yours be “As one who spends too much time on the Internet/this site thinking of ways to insult people I’ve never met…”?

      I’ve had bosses who were great guys but they told me they resented college graduates, for several different reasons, including things like this note. I enjoy that you couldn’t understand that I was saying that the resentment was justifiable because of that. Or you could and just felt like getting drunk and attacking everyone on the site just for the hell of it. My money’s on the latter.

      I’ve worked for a lot of dicks in the restaurant business, as a college graduate and student as well as before I went back to school. It’s a business that both attracts and creates jerks, much like this site apparently.

      It’s amazing that I wrote all of two sentences supporting the boss and you decided that I am self-centered and superior. At least my attitude is not judgmental and slightly insane. Also, I’ve worked in restaurants for 8 yrs. off & on, including corporate & local. And my husbands family has owned a restaurant for several generations. So guess what? I know them pretty well.

      Aug 16, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.13   Canthz_B bang

      Luckily, you’ve met me so trying to insult me is all right…not that I’m insulted in the least.

      It’s amazing that you think that dick-like bosses exist only in the restaurant business and slightly insane that you’d marry into such a family.
      How many husbands do you have, and are they brothers or something?

      You really ought to actually look at how much time I spend on this site before you call it “too much”, but thanks for caring about my time management skills.

      Strange how you have to be here to chastise others for being here, isn’t it? I sincerely hope that you being attracted here does not make you a jerk. ;-)

      Aug 16, 2009 at 4:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.14   Suzi

      If you say “husband’s” that means “husband is” but “husbands” means possessive , “husbands’ ” means the family of several husbands. It’s a little thing I learned in school. Good try though, maybe next time!

      I never said that dicks only work in restaurant, just that there are some that work there. I also said that I’ve worked for some great guys, for example my husbands family.

      I also never said that being on here makes you a jerk, just like not everyone who works in a restaurant is a jerk.Clearly, I’m not chastising people for being on here, simply for becoming overly aggressive towards others who did nothing to provoke it.

      Oh, thanks in return for worrying so much about my technical writing skills as that was what seems to provoke you the most. Just people helping people, huh?

      Aug 16, 2009 at 4:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.15   Canthz_B bang

      Boy, you spend a lot of time and energy on this site! :-P

      Can you say “sucker”? :lol:

      Reel ‘em in, and throw ‘em back!

      Aug 16, 2009 at 5:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.16   Eva

      Boy, no matter how many emoticons you use in a post, you still remain a huge jerk.

      Aug 16, 2009 at 5:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.17   Canthz_B bang

      It’s the weekend…that’s when I jerk-off! :mrgreen:

      BTW: “Can you see my sisters/sister’s car in the driveway?

      Correct answer: sister’s

      The correct choice is the singular possessive form. It describes the car belonging to one sister. Sisters with no apostrophe is the plural form.”

      http://www.meredith.edu/grammar/plural.htm#1

      Good try though. Maybe next time.

      Aug 16, 2009 at 5:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.18   Wade bang

      Wait. Husbands means possessive?

      All those year’s of grammar, wasted. ;)

      Aug 16, 2009 at 5:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.19   Canthz_B bang

      She must be right, Wade…she said she learned it in school.

      Aug 16, 2009 at 5:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.20   Geek Goddess

      Boy, if you want to make the noun husband possessive, you add ‘s to the end, like thus: husband’s. Husband without the apostrophe is plural, as in two or more husbands. Husbands’ is the possessive of the plural form. It’s a little thing I learned in college. (‘Cause I was taught the ‘don’t-shove-grammer-down-their-throats-it-will-stifle-their-creativity’ method in grade school, and found my college level creative English classes difficult without it)

      And while carefully composing my post, half a dozen others beat me to it. :(

      Aug 16, 2009 at 5:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.21   Geek Goddess

      And if you say “Can you see my sisters’ car in the driveway?” you have a prime opportunity for fodder for this site, what with all the PA stuff flying back and forth as a result of two or more siblings having shared use of, and resposibility for, a single car.

      Aug 16, 2009 at 5:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.22   Canthz_B bang

      LOL, GG…I want to see some of those!!

      “Margaret, I don’t appreciate used condoms in the back seat…you’re a skanky whore!
      Love, Sharon”

      Aug 16, 2009 at 5:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.23   Geek Goddess

      “Sharon, thanks for leaving those used condoms in the back seat. They came in really handy, as we forgot to stock up before our date.

      Kisses, Margaret”

      Aug 16, 2009 at 6:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   jenocide

    pfft, show me edible seafood that’s NOT being overfished and I’ll show you a World Oceans Day where I don’t go out for all-you-can-eat sushi.

    Aug 6, 2009 at 3:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Elynn

    I just found this blog this morning and read the pathetic note. Seriously, she’s a graduate of a high school somewhere?

    I was more amused (and might be in LOVE!!) with the respondents. Thank you all for the witty dialogue.

    Aug 6, 2009 at 10:00 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   mamason bang

      She likes us! She really likes us!

      Aug 6, 2009 at 11:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Anonymous

    Ugh, gen y-ers, amirite?

    AND MY MOM IS SUPER FUCKING COOL AND WE GO TANNING TOGETHER AN I KNOOOOOW YOU WANT A PIECE OF HER BUT SHE’S NOT JUST MY MOM BUT MY SUPER FUCKING BEST FRIEND SO -STEP-OFF-. BESIDES, THAT’S SICK. SHE’S LIKE, MY AGE. I MEAN, SHE MAY BE OLDER THAN YOU BUT SHE ACTS LIKE MY AGE AND THAT WOULD BE LIKE YOU TRYING TO GET IN MY PANTS YOU FUCKING FREAK.

    I KNOW YOU’VE NEVER CALLED HER OR MET HER I’M JUST SAYING, I’LL BE OUTSIES IN A WEEK AND I DON’T WANT NO SHIT FROM YOU AFTERWARDS.

    Kisses,
    Krista

    Aug 6, 2009 at 11:20 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   RP

    Is it me or does the fact that the note writer’s friend got thrown out seem to have nothing to do with the note? She’s all, “You dare to QUESTION MY HONOR?!?!” like she thinks the boss did something to her directly.

    While I think there’s more to this that what the submitter has said I also don’t really care. This doesn’t read like a letter from someone with a legitimate complaint. This letter reads like it’s its from someone overly dramatic who probably flounces whenever she exits a room.

    Aug 6, 2009 at 1:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   alexannie

    you are all so “funny” sometimes.

    funny 1: make me laugh
    funny 2: make me wonder why you hate each other so much
    funny 3: like swordfish w/worms, soured milk, i.e., does this milk smell “funny”?

    Aug 6, 2009 at 5:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   Mark bang

      You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

      Aug 6, 2009 at 5:44 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.2   se

      mark, you’re just a goodfellow.

      Aug 7, 2009 at 10:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      He’s always been a wiseguy.

      Aug 16, 2009 at 4:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   brentlyjoebob

    I hate the planet because of your infernal inspiration/expiration.

    Aug 11, 2009 at 4:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Suzi

    What is up with the mother? How is she involved?!!! We may never know…

    Aug 13, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   loverofthenotes bang

    ROFLMAAAA!!!!!

    Aug 24, 2009 at 8:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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