Writes our anonymous submitter: “I own a restaurant, and the writer of the note is a college student who has worked for me for a while now. Yesterday, her pal flatly refused to put on her uniform (a chef coat) and I was so tired of her shenanigans that I roared at her right before service to get out. I was actually surprised that the writer of the note didn’t ‘sympathy quit’ right then, but her professionalism clearly shines through in this note.”
p.p.p.p.s. God, I hope this girl shows up on a Bravo/Food Network reality show. I need more of this delicious naivete!
related: this shit is bananas
205 responses so far ↓
#1
kt
swordfish have worms?? ULLLLCCCCCH *vom*
Aug 4, 2009 at 10:33 pm rating: 6
#2
eddy
That swordfish was fuc-*BLARGH*
Aug 4, 2009 at 10:39 pm rating: 47
#3
Wade
“I dislike watching you goad me.”
Did the blindfold slip?
Aug 4, 2009 at 10:40 pm rating: 31
#4
ABF
I’m surprised she’s smart enough to know it’s P.P.S. instead of P.S.S.
…are you SURE a college student wrote that??
Aug 4, 2009 at 10:41 pm rating: 10
#5
techimpaired
I thought the note was pretty straight forward and non-PA until “why do you hate the planet” was tacked on at the end.
P.S. Are butterflies the new must have PA stationary?
P.P.S Why wasn’t I informed?
P.P.P.S I now hate the planet and all butterflies!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aug 4, 2009 at 10:42 pm rating: 35
#6
Wade
If the swordfish are riddled with foot long parasitic worms, wouldn’t it be loving the planet to overfish them and get them out of the food chain?
Aug 4, 2009 at 10:42 pm rating: 20
#7
ibiza
I love the juxtaposition of the passive-aggressiveness and the cute butterfly stationery.
Aug 4, 2009 at 10:42 pm rating: 4
#8
anglophile
Why do you hate the planet? And why do you hate meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
Aug 4, 2009 at 10:44 pm rating: 10
#9
Canthz_B
Her mom kept her job for her by banging her boss.
Now that she’s given her “one weeks” notice, Mom can move on…unless she’s used to the free swordfish dinners by now.
Aug 4, 2009 at 11:02 pm rating: 13
#10
famous_lizzy
I’m trying to figure out what a resevence is. Hopefully she isn’t naive enough to believe that restaurants would offer severance pay, especially to a college student who uses butterfly stationary.
Aug 4, 2009 at 11:02 pm rating: 5
#11
situational lefty
I think she meant she was tired of watching you “Goat” me.
God forbid if she ever gets the Bat Wing.
Aug 4, 2009 at 11:04 pm rating: 8
#12
Canthz_B
Swordfish don’t have worms.
Worms are surrounded by swordfish.
Aug 4, 2009 at 11:04 pm rating: 31
#13
50D
This one deserves an award.
Aug 4, 2009 at 11:05 pm rating: 1
#14
Canthz_B
I think we can file the “don’t need a reference” under “Goes without saying”.
One doesn’t generally expect a nice write-up after telling someone they suck!
Aug 4, 2009 at 11:07 pm rating: 16
#15
VegasBarbie
I want to know the backstory behind “leave my mother, me and everyone connected with me alone” comment….
Aug 4, 2009 at 11:09 pm rating: 38
#16
Josie
I get the feeling there’s more to the girls’ side than the submitter is telling… It seems more passive-aggressive to submit the note than to leave it.
Aug 4, 2009 at 11:13 pm rating: 29
#17
you suck at craigslist
Wait, I thought worms were GOOD for the environment! Wouldn’t foot-long worms be the best thing ever?
Aug 4, 2009 at 11:16 pm rating: 1
#18
MissPinkKate
“yesterday, her pal flatly refused to put on her uniform (a chef coat)”
Whose pal? The owner’s pal? The employee’s pal?
Aug 4, 2009 at 11:41 pm rating: 0
#19
aaa
So who the fuck exactly does Note Writer think she is that makes her special enough for Anonymous Submitter to want to bother with her or her family or her “connections” after she’s quit? The submitter’s probably glad to be rid of her. I’ve never met the girl and I could feel my disdain for her grow exponentially with every sentence.
P.S. If you have to get your friend to put in your resignation for you, you’re a spineless, dumbass jellyfish.
P.P.S. Anonymous Submitter is awesome for using the word “shenanigans”.
P.P.P.S. Go Team Venture.
Aug 4, 2009 at 11:42 pm rating: 28
#20
aaa
Note writer loses major points for misspelling parasitic. Misspelling parasitic is like misspelling dog. :/
Aug 4, 2009 at 11:46 pm rating: 4
#21
Squawkers McCaw
Dear former boss,
Yesterday you fired me. Today, I see you have my Shenanigan Casserole on the menu board. Tired of it, eh? You’ll be hearing from my attorney, as soon as my best friend finishes her bachelor’s degree, and then law school.
Sincerely,
Coatless Chef
Aug 4, 2009 at 11:57 pm rating: 23
#22
ZZ
I think for the first time in some time I’m laughing much more at the submitter then the note itself. I can only hope formatting of the submitters message got lost during the migration to post.
Yeah, the p.p.p.s was kinda over the top, but frankly the rest of the note was pretty darn professional from most of the stuff I have seen. Seems to me, Mr or Miss anon submitter feels like she’s been wronged but can’t really justify it with reason, so she’s playing for sympathy.
Aug 5, 2009 at 12:26 am rating: 3
#23
Silhouette
Dear Coatless,
NICE GOING GETTING ME IN TROUBLE EARLIER!!!!!!
Sincerely,
Butterfly McPrincess
Aug 5, 2009 at 12:42 am rating: 52
#24
cTo
Actually spear-fished swordfish is very sustainable. Granted it represents a smaller and smaller percent of the market share every year.
Aug 5, 2009 at 2:06 am rating: 4
#25
Canthz_B
Sku-zahn! We have an irate employee note!
Ooh, sounds delicious! What’s that marinade she’s using there?
Sku-zahn! It’s a mixture of “I never could stand your ass” and “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!”
Aug 5, 2009 at 2:23 am rating: 14
#26
cheeky
Dear Ms. Quitter,
Don’t you know how many trees are cut down just to provide the world with enough butterfly stationary for everyone’s PA needs?
You should’ve used email instead. Why do YOU hate the planet?
Aug 5, 2009 at 2:34 am rating: 8
#27
mizkitteh
this note is awesome, but the restaurant owner sounds like a bitch.
Aug 5, 2009 at 4:17 am rating: 7
#28
KoT
Ah, yes … another college student being liberally indoctrinated:
Somehow eating is now partially responsible for the demise of the planet?
Just like the Malthusian global warmers (now climate changers) that can’t bemoan the over 3600 RECORD LOWS in the past two months!
For some strange reason … swordfish, global temperatures, and other planet “conundrums” really don’t give a shit what people think …
Aug 5, 2009 at 8:06 am rating: 6
#29
Lisa
This one looks promising, but unfortunately I find it illegible. Anyone care to transcribe?
Aug 5, 2009 at 9:16 am rating: 0
#30
kelli
If I was the boss, I’d not give her any shifts that last week.
It’s such a grade school letter. How are these people getting into college unable to form a simple sentence?
Aug 5, 2009 at 10:27 am rating: 4
#31
TP
Restaurant owners tend to be a breed of people that can either be really cool or can make your life hell if you work for them. I may have sided with the girl if only she expressed herself more clearly. Yes, sounding intelligent really can get you places in this world, young lady, now stop that major in marine biology right quick and get yourself some extra English classes!
Aug 5, 2009 at 10:45 am rating: 2
#32
aaa
P.P.P.P.P.P.S
Your “one-weeks notice”, eh? So, are you being facetious because you like Metalocalypse, or are you just a dumbass?
Aug 5, 2009 at 10:53 am rating: 3
#33
Tim
“I roared at…”
Chef Jerk sounds a real meanie.
Aug 5, 2009 at 12:19 pm rating: 2
#34
Meh
Note to self:
One must use large words clearly and in the proper context in order to sound intelligent.
Aug 5, 2009 at 1:02 pm rating: 1
#35
anglophile
*sigh*
I wish once, just once, someone would test my honor.
*resumes knitting*
Aug 5, 2009 at 2:09 pm rating: 8
#36
fluffy8u
The submitter should know that she shouldn’t add so many post scripts. It makes her sound spacey. She just should have rewrote it. And in pen. the pencil isn’t a pleasant look. She should team up with Matt, they can learn the art of writing personal letters together.
Aug 5, 2009 at 8:21 pm rating: 2
#37
Nikki
This could easily have be written to my loser ex-boss. Especially the “leave my mom alone part” I bet the recipient is extremely skeezy.
Aug 5, 2009 at 8:47 pm rating: 3
#38
crazybeachcat
i’m surprised, but this is a rare time that i actually don’t think the writer sounds like the idiot/psycho/freak. i bet the boss is a total asshole…i can just feel it. the chick may be kinda immature (cut her some slack, though, she’s probably like 19), but working with an owner who makes work hell on earth is worse.
Aug 6, 2009 at 2:16 am rating: 3
#39
jenocide
pfft, show me edible seafood that’s NOT being overfished and I’ll show you a World Oceans Day where I don’t go out for all-you-can-eat sushi.
Aug 6, 2009 at 3:27 am rating: 3
#40
Elynn
I just found this blog this morning and read the pathetic note. Seriously, she’s a graduate of a high school somewhere?
I was more amused (and might be in LOVE!!) with the respondents. Thank you all for the witty dialogue.
Aug 6, 2009 at 10:00 am rating: 3
#41
Anonymous
Ugh, gen y-ers, amirite?
AND MY MOM IS SUPER FUCKING COOL AND WE GO TANNING TOGETHER AN I KNOOOOOW YOU WANT A PIECE OF HER BUT SHE’S NOT JUST MY MOM BUT MY SUPER FUCKING BEST FRIEND SO -STEP-OFF-. BESIDES, THAT’S SICK. SHE’S LIKE, MY AGE. I MEAN, SHE MAY BE OLDER THAN YOU BUT SHE ACTS LIKE MY AGE AND THAT WOULD BE LIKE YOU TRYING TO GET IN MY PANTS YOU FUCKING FREAK.
I KNOW YOU’VE NEVER CALLED HER OR MET HER I’M JUST SAYING, I’LL BE OUTSIES IN A WEEK AND I DON’T WANT NO SHIT FROM YOU AFTERWARDS.
Kisses,
Krista
Aug 6, 2009 at 11:20 am rating: 8
#42
RP
Is it me or does the fact that the note writer’s friend got thrown out seem to have nothing to do with the note? She’s all, “You dare to QUESTION MY HONOR?!?!” like she thinks the boss did something to her directly.
While I think there’s more to this that what the submitter has said I also don’t really care. This doesn’t read like a letter from someone with a legitimate complaint. This letter reads like it’s its from someone overly dramatic who probably flounces whenever she exits a room.
Aug 6, 2009 at 1:53 pm rating: 5
#43
alexannie
you are all so “funny” sometimes.
funny 1: make me laugh
funny 2: make me wonder why you hate each other so much
funny 3: like swordfish w/worms, soured milk, i.e., does this milk smell “funny”?
Aug 6, 2009 at 5:19 pm rating: 0
#44
brentlyjoebob
I hate the planet because of your infernal inspiration/expiration.
Aug 11, 2009 at 4:41 pm rating: 0
#45
Suzi
What is up with the mother? How is she involved?!!! We may never know…
Aug 13, 2009 at 2:26 pm rating: 0
#46
loverofthenotes
ROFLMAAAA!!!!!
Aug 24, 2009 at 8:58 pm rating: 1
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