On second thought…maybe I’ll just take a bath.

August 18th, 2009 · 118 comments

Are you enjoying the last few weeks of swimmin’ pool season, kids?  Tom in Fayetteville, Arkansas was…until he saw the 11th commandment posted nearby.

Anyone who has or has had diarrhea in the past two (2) weeks shall not use the pool

And if that doesn’t make you want to suit up and dive in…

Children not toilet trained or have skin lesions, communicable disease, open sores, boils, colds, nasal or ear discharge are not admitted within pool enclosure.

POOL'S CLOSED due to AIDS and Sting Rays (who also have AIDS)

Use Bathroom (Not Our Pool)

related: Maybe “no teenagers” would have been simpler

FILED UNDER: swimming pool · that's unsanitary


118 responses so far ↓

  • #1   lightspeed

    Not only does that make me want to dive right in, but grab some lunch too…mmmm….lesions, boils and diarrhea…

    Aug 18, 2009 at 10:16 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   TheOldSchool bang

      Just don’t get any of your lunch mist residue on the apron.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 12:24 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Catherine

    This is why I prefer to swim in the ocean. Just stay away from the sewerage outlet…..

    Aug 18, 2009 at 10:25 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   lightspeed

      But what about the stingrays with AIDS?

      Aug 18, 2009 at 10:36 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   TheOldSchool bang

      And aren’t you even a little bit frightened of venturing into the deep and encountering David Hasselhoff?

      Aug 19, 2009 at 12:46 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   C.S. Harmonikah

      @2.1, Thats why i stopped fucking stingrays

      Aug 19, 2009 at 2:47 am   rating: 48  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Canthz_B bang

      The ocean…the world’s largest feces farm!
      Swimming in fish excrement is a pastime I can pass on.
      I had a goldfish in a tank once…one goldfish, one tank.
      Seeing what it could put out in a day was a real eye-opener!

      “Come on in gang, the water’s sewage!”

      Aug 19, 2009 at 4:14 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   farcical aquatic ceremony

      thanks Canthz B!!! I’ve only ever been BARELY able to swim in the ocean with my denial intact, and now I’ll picture those grody, long tendrils of fish poo whenever I’m tempted to enter a body of water. In exchange for that mental image, I feel like sharing with you the web address of a page showing pics of disinterred victims of genocide that I accidentally came across, but I’m not as cruel as you (OBVIOUSLY) are

      : /

      Aug 19, 2009 at 10:44 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   TheOldSchool bang

      CB,

      Interesting. But I think your experience is more illustrative of why we should swim in the ocean with our eyes shut.

      I don’t like the thought of “those grody, long tendrils of fish poo” (as f.a.c. so indelibly put it) caressing my eyeballs.

      Then there’s the barrels of nuclear waste that our government was dumping from ships that were 50 miles off the coast of San Francisco during the 1950s. Whenever the barrels wouldn’t sink on their own, the sailors would fire at them with rifles, plugging them with holes.

      Sea Bass, anyone?

      Aug 19, 2009 at 11:21 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Canthz_B bang

      Now f.a.c. can visualize radioactive “grody, long tendrils of fish poo…”

      Thanks for getting me out of the doghouse, TOS.
      I owe you one! :-)

      Disinterred victims of genocide? Pish! I’m from New Jersey! LOL

      Aug 20, 2009 at 2:17 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   Dee Motivated

      @ The Old School,

      Hey, if they’ve been irradiated they’ve been sterilized.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 3:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Silhouette

    Why is Vladmir Lenin in a turban?

    Aug 18, 2009 at 10:28 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   anglophile bang

      See, now, I interpreted the headwear as an astrakhan.

      Aug 18, 2009 at 10:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Silhouette

      Maybe it is just his hair and there were also electric eels.

      Aug 18, 2009 at 10:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   bean

      You got to pick your fro! Or else it ends up all lopsided, like that.

      Aug 18, 2009 at 11:47 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   TheOldSchool bang

      I’m guessing that you meant to say, “all upsided, like that.”

      Aug 19, 2009 at 12:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Dee Motivated

      Could be worse. It could be Lenin in a cake.

      http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/07/im-guessing-they-didnt-have-matching.html

      Aug 23, 2009 at 3:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   ClearlyDemented

    The illustration of the woman waving, oblivious to the fact that the child left his suit at home, is an instant classic.

    Hey, who said she could bring her dog within the pool enclosure?

    Aug 18, 2009 at 10:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   farcical aquatic ceremony

      I think that the four-fingered children in that illustration deserve special treatment. All children with only 4 sausage-like fingers need the pick-me-up of nude, free-peeing swimming.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 10:45 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   C.S. Harmonikah

      It creeped me out more that the little naked boy in the illustration is masturbating .

      Aug 19, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   tumples

    The Pool’s Closed due to AIDS one is just a 4chan meme someone drew on a piece of paper

    Aug 18, 2009 at 10:35 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   aaa bang

      Of course it is. Who other than 13 year old boys would come up with something so lame and painfully unfunny?

      Aug 18, 2009 at 11:00 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Gaby

      It spread its way to other internet holes, such as habbo.com.

      They would block the ‘pool’ area with characters that look like the guy on the meme.

      Quite hilarious, really :|

      Aug 18, 2009 at 11:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   comment

      OMG really?!

      Aug 20, 2009 at 10:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   felina

    “Due to AIDS & stingrays (who also have AIDS).”

    LOL. That one is my favorite. I might use it.

    Aug 18, 2009 at 10:38 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   deedee

      My pool was once closed due to sharks with freakin’ laser beams attached to their heads.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 9:38 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Beanster bang

      thumbs up because i love sharks.
      most effective weapon? shark attached to a bat.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 10:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Wade bang

      Are you sure they weren’t sea bass, deedee?

      Aug 19, 2009 at 10:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Oh Really

      And what celebrity can take on the cause of the HIV+ stingray community? Won’t someone think of the stingrays?

      Aug 19, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   C.S. Harmonikah

      Bono will be working on it by the end of the week

      Aug 19, 2009 at 4:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   clumber

      #6.2 Beanster – I see your shark attached to a bat, and raise you 1. Acme Shark attached to Hydrogen Bomb.

      Aug 20, 2009 at 5:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   Bunnee

      I see both of your shark weapons and raise you a band of gorillas throwing sharks (preferably into a crowd).

      Aug 20, 2009 at 10:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   deedee

      You’re right Wade. Come to think of it, they were just ill-tempered sea bass.

      Aug 20, 2009 at 10:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Kaytor

    Pool closed due to /b/tards.

    Aug 18, 2009 at 10:58 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Geek Goddess

      Yeah, I would close the pool if there were turds.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 2:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Julia

      Too bad that meme reached the peak of its hilarity with an afro’ed Obama saying “Poll’s Closed.”

      Aug 19, 2009 at 3:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Canthz_B bang

      Yeah, it’s usually a Republican who closes the polls early, but we’ve moved on to pools. ;-)

      Aug 19, 2009 at 4:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   QuarterRoy00 bang

    Those Stingrays need to stop listening to all those Village People & Barry Manilow records…

    Aug 18, 2009 at 11:17 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   meh

      Wow, 8 comments before a gay stingray joke. Much longer than I expected.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 3:43 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   ashmeadow

      it’s not a gay joke, it’s a “lifestyle” joke.

      Aug 21, 2009 at 2:43 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   aaa bang

    So how are they going to know if you’ve had diarrhea in the past two weeks? Unless they’ve got sensors up your ass that constantly monitor the consistency of your poo based on the Bristol Stool Scale (You know I had to work that in somehow. :D ), you’re just operating on the Honor System. And we all know how that goes. :/

    Aug 18, 2009 at 11:25 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Kelly

      Sensors? Come on, that’s ridiculous.

      All you have to do is bring in stool samples from the last two weeks, along with a notarized affidavit affirming that the stool is in fact yours. Simple.

      Aug 18, 2009 at 11:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   aaa bang

      Pssh. Cool kids bring in other people’s poo and falsify their poo documents.

      Aug 18, 2009 at 11:46 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   ClearlyDemented

      I think you just have to bring in two-weeks’ worth of used underwear. Any skidmarks and you’re banned. Of course, this is all due to their partnrsip with Hanes. People really think they’re getting over on them when they buy 14 pairs of fresh undrwear for only $5 apiece from the vending machines in the changing rooms.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 12:23 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   TheOldSchool bang

      aaa,

      Bringing an unwrapped Baby Ruth bar discreetly into the water of a crowded public pool is a time-honored way of ensuring that one enjoys a relaxing swim in relative privacy.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 12:34 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   aaa bang

      Very true. But my ‘rents have a pool, so that’s never been an issue. Not that I swim anyway. So I guess it’s doubly not an issue. O:

      Aug 19, 2009 at 1:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   TheOldSchool bang

      My parents are irresponsible adults who have skin diseases, boils, skin lesions, open sores, chronic diarrhea, and intermittent nasal, anal, and ear (?) discharges, but they own the Cess Swimming Pool, so that’s never been an issue for me, either.

      (They signed me up for swimming lesions when I was three.)

      Aug 19, 2009 at 11:37 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   TheOldSchool bang

      In fact, I was was swimming before my skin was even crawling.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 11:43 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   jenocide

    I think my favourite part is the parenthetical ’2′ in the first one. Really, if someone needs numerical assurance that the word they just read really and truly was ‘two’, they’re probably not the kind of person who can confirm whether or not they’ve had diarrhea in the past two weeks.

    Aug 18, 2009 at 11:41 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   anglophile bang

      “Hey baby, what’s this say? Have I had any dairy in the last tow wrecks? What the Sam Hill is that supposed to mean?”

      Aug 19, 2009 at 6:28 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Nigedo

    Even “non-swimmers shall not use the pool”. Don’t even think about using the pool. Stop looking at the pool!

    Aug 18, 2009 at 11:45 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Because non-swimmers stick to the bottom of the pool like waterlogged pampers and it takes for ever to clean it up.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 12:22 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   TheOldSchool

    I noticed that none of the signs even bother to mention “discharges from the genial region.”

    Aug 18, 2009 at 11:52 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   ClearlyDemented

      I think you mean ‘congenital’ region.

      Aug 18, 2009 at 11:57 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   ClearlyDemented

    Do boils even exist anymore? I thought they were something that only existed in the Middle Ages or were mythical or something. Like, ‘He picked at his boil as he watched his pet dragon frolicing in the clouds.”

    Aug 19, 2009 at 12:12 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   TheOldSchool bang

      Well, I guess you haven’t flown on Delta, lately.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 12:18 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Canthz_B bang

      Boils exist. My friend Lance has ‘em.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 12:57 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Bunnee

      Boils are similar to carbuncles, one of the greatest words ever. No relevance, here. Just wanted to say “carbuncle”. :)

      Aug 19, 2009 at 10:40 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   TheOldSchool bang

      But why does BP want me to know the size of my carbuncle footprint?

      Aug 19, 2009 at 1:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   famous_lizzy

    I cannot be the only person who immediately thought about Steve Irwin. He didn’t die from any ordinary stingray (because that’s too normal for Steve Irwin), it was a stingray with AIDS! Now my world makes sense.

    Aug 19, 2009 at 12:22 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   ClearlyDemented

      That DOES make more sense. I wonder if the dog that’ll inevitably take out Dog, the Bounty Hunter will be infected as well.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 12:29 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    Our pool sign includes “No Diapers”.

    A shame really. I’ve never seen a diaper do the breast stroke!

    Aug 19, 2009 at 12:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    Great…now I’m going to have nightmares about the Pool Czar!

    Aug 19, 2009 at 1:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   snee

    WE’VE GOT TROUBLE!

    with a capital T
    that rhymes with P
    that stands for POOL!

    Aug 19, 2009 at 3:23 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   TheOldSchool bang

      And I’m troubled by the fact that pool spelled backwards is loop.

      (Then, if you take off the L and flip it around once more, what have you got?)

      (Do what I did. Flip it around one final time, add an s, and you’ll be home, safe and dry, staring at a somewhat light-hearted, “oops.”)

      Aug 19, 2009 at 1:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Julia

    What do you mean I can’t catch some nasty communicable disease by swimming in the public pool anymore?

    This is an outrage! I can’t even pee in a pool!? You mean I have to piss in the ocean?

    What the hell is this country coming to?

    Aug 19, 2009 at 3:50 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    Does sign number two condone adults who are not toilet trained?
    I only wonder because kids around that age don’t even know yet that the pool is excellent cover for the occasional clandestine whiz.

    Aug 19, 2009 at 3:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   C.S. Harmonikah

      They always know. I was peeing in pools by age 4. And i never grew out of it. Yeah, you’re all swimming in my pee.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 4:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Canthz_B bang

    AIDS, stingrays with AIDS, and Don King…this is a difficult threat assessment to digest all at once!

    Aug 19, 2009 at 4:01 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   GhostWriter bang

    It’s not fair…
    I follow a strict diet of peanuts and cheddar cheese for two weeks, just to firm things up, but as soon as I get near the pool, that sign scares the Hershey Squirts right outta me!

    Aug 19, 2009 at 9:35 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   GhostWriter bang

    Yeah homey, the pool’s closed, so we filled it with carp and covered it with Plexiglass; now it’s a funky Disco!

    Aug 19, 2009 at 9:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Sara

    I remember some lady talking about the two-week rule after having diarrhea on Oprah one time. It’s to prevent Hepatitis. However, I think it’s a bit extreme to make the kid wait a whole two weeks. An no, nobody at the pool is going to know if you’ve had diarrhea in the past two weeks. It’s unenforceable, anal-retentive rule.

    Aug 19, 2009 at 10:26 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   aaa bang

      See #9.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 11:29 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   FunFunRahRah bang

      “anal-retentive”
      *sniggers*

      Aug 19, 2009 at 4:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Canthz_B bang

      By definition, diarrhea falls short of anal-retention.
      What a constipated notion!

      Aug 23, 2009 at 1:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Danielle

    Does anyone else find the artwork in picture #3 creepy as hell? Those people look deformed. I think there might be something worse than pee in that pool mutating them…

    Aug 19, 2009 at 10:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   TheOldSchool bang

      That said, the art in #4 is truly lovely.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 11:41 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   park rose bang

      Danielle, in #3 they’re playing ‘Throw the finger’. The girl on the left, points, and then sends her finger spinning over the pool; the boy on the right catches it and grafts it to his own hand. Not all digits make it . As you can see, a few have fallen mid-flight and are raining down on the redhead in the pool. They look like thumbs, but who really knows?

      My theory is supported when you look at the the second picture of #3. The girl only has three fingers. The boy in the that picture also seems to be understandably concerned about missing appendages.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 11:52 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   HorribleLicensePlates

    AHHHH THE POOP! IT’S EVERYWHERE!!

    Seriously, get me to a shower.

    Aug 19, 2009 at 11:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Mysterious13 bang

      beware of rocket pubes

      Aug 19, 2009 at 3:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Wordtinker doesnt smith bang

    And this is why I prefer dancing in the rain to pool parties.

    Aug 19, 2009 at 12:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I prefer singing in the rain…

      Aug 19, 2009 at 12:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   park rose

      I prefer dancing by myself…

      Aug 19, 2009 at 12:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   oi bang

      People around me prefer that I keep my mouth shut and limbs glued to my side.
      rain or no rain.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 12:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      You can dance if you want to…

      Aug 19, 2009 at 12:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.5   mamason bang

      I prefer dancin’ on the ceiling.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 3:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.6   Geek Goddess

      I prefer the rain down in Africa

      Aug 19, 2009 at 5:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.7   park rose

      You can always find me in the kitchen at parties…

      Aug 19, 2009 at 9:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.8   clumber

      not c…c…c..combo breaking, just mentioning as an aside that YOU ALL CAN BURN IN HELL for getting a basket full of sucky songs stuck in my head while I am battling insomnia. The LAST thing I need is for gdamnned Men in Hats video clips to sprout into my head UNBIDDEN just as I almost start to fall asleep. A pox upon each, and every one of you, your horses, and the boat they flew in on.

      I now return you to your combo. Unbroken, so I ain’t buying it.

      Aug 20, 2009 at 5:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.9   GK bang

      C…c…c…combo breaker!

      Aug 20, 2009 at 7:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   FredGarvin

    Non-swimmers can’t use the pool without restrictions? Isn’t the lack of swimming the definition of not using the pool? Head…so hurting…

    Aug 19, 2009 at 12:09 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   oi bang

    This is blatant discrimination against sick people.
    It’s not their fault their immune system is weak.
    Wake up people. Don’t tolerate sin.

    Aug 19, 2009 at 12:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   MAMARILLA2 bang

    Let me see…Arkansas, public pool…I’m surprised that the sign doesn’t include an admonition about chew and spitting in the pool.

    Aug 19, 2009 at 12:43 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Wordtinker doesnt smith bang

      If they banned dip there they wouldn’t have any lifeguards or pool boys and the poor local Patel would have to do ALL the work.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 4:56 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Nick

    Two weeks?! Oh man.
    I can never go swimming in a pool again!

    Aug 19, 2009 at 1:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   TheOldSchool bang

    Disease.

    Think of all the time, money and energy mankind has expended trying to erdicate it from our lives.

    I’ve found a way to do it.

    FOR FREE.

    From this moment forward, we all agree to start calling it: “datease.”

    My work is done.

    Aug 19, 2009 at 1:45 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   TheOldSchool bang

      The irony here is that I’m not even a doctor!

      Aug 19, 2009 at 1:47 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   TheOldSchool bang

    Don’t believe me?

    Check the records of every medical school on Earth. You’ll see.

    Aug 19, 2009 at 1:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Oh Really

    “All you suckers with Crohn’s and Colitis stay the hell away from the pool!”

    Aug 19, 2009 at 2:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Sounds like a law suit to me.

      Aug 19, 2009 at 2:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   mamason bang

      More like a swim suit. ;-)

      Aug 19, 2009 at 3:48 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   TheOldSchool bang

      Speedo + Depends = $$$

      Why can’t the pee-brains running these outfits see the logic of merging?

      Such an alliance would tap into the ever-burgeoning market segment of incontinent pool loungers.

      As shareholders watch the profits seep from both companies, the turd-brains in charge turn blind-eyes towards this gushing revenue stream.

      CEOs: You Merge or We Purge.

      If you can’t stand the steaming heat — Get out of the pool!

      To fill our coffers — Let these people poop!

      Aug 19, 2009 at 8:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.4   Xenobiologista

      You know, swim diapers for infants already exist. All they have to do is scale up.

      Aug 22, 2009 at 12:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   jt

    what I like is the artist’s illustration of how he sweats when he pees and also when people notice that he’s naked.

    Aug 19, 2009 at 3:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   ur doing it rong

    looks like /b/ tried to go swimming

    Aug 19, 2009 at 3:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Mysterious13 bang

    What about IBS?

    Aug 19, 2009 at 3:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   meh

    The bastards beat me to my idea of a swimming pool brothel, so I had to sabotage it. Guess which animal I used?

    Aug 19, 2009 at 3:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   mamason bang

    So, according to sign #2, it’s only the children, who are not potty trained or that have dripping orifices or oozing pus filled sores, that are banned from using the pool. Adults with the same afflictions, evidently can jump right in!

    Aug 19, 2009 at 3:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   marcopuffin bang

    I used to swim there… now I’m just going through the motions.

    Aug 19, 2009 at 4:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Will

    This is bullshit! Just because I’ve got diarrhea, skin lesions, communicable diseases, open sores, boils, a cold, nasal and ear discharge, AIDS, an open glass container, a couple tacos, a full bladder, no swimsuit, and a pet stingray, I can’t fucking go swimming?

    That’s discrimination.

    Aug 19, 2009 at 5:28 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   C.S. Harmonikah

    You may be asking….how did the stingrays get AIDS?

    http://thesuperficial.com/2009/08/paris_hilton_allowed_near_aqua.php

    Aug 19, 2009 at 7:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   Xenobiologista

      Congratulations, that’s a great explanation =D

      Aug 22, 2009 at 12:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   DearJane

    The last photo should have the caption
    “I’m tired of these motherf**kin people swimmin’ in my motherf**in pool”

    Aug 19, 2009 at 9:11 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Moonskank

    I see Anonymous has struck once again. We are legion, apparently.

    Aug 19, 2009 at 11:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Anon

    I see a couple of nigras stepped up.

    Aug 20, 2009 at 8:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Crystal

    Northwest Arkansas Rocks!
    I’ve never seen that sign before… I wonder where Tom found that at.

    Aug 20, 2009 at 4:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   dan

    I saw a sign at somone’s pool that read,

    Welcome to our “OOL”

    Notice there’s no “P” in it?

    Sep 7, 2009 at 10:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   THIS LOCKER ROOM IS A NUDITY-FREE ZONE | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] related: “Do Not Leave Bathing Suit in the House” (and other pool rules) [...]

    Oct 9, 2011 at 6:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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