This note, from Michelle in Denver, displays the remarkable lengths that some people will go to avoid confrontation.
“This bright-green gem wasn’t the only priceless thing visible,” Michelle says. “On the cubicle wall closest to the refrigerators was a camera…and it was actually connected to the computer and recording a live feed. This is why you don’t steal from the fridge when you work for a multimedia corporation!”
![To the person who help themselves to my entire carton of eggs. I saw what you did and I know who you are. I sit 10 steps from the frig [sic] ya big good. The jig is up pal But hang on. Today is your lucky day. I'm not going to say a word to anyone. But moving forward if so much as a grape goes missing from either refrigerator, then I'm going to HR. Have a nice day :)](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3435/3817250401_eb9f9401e6.jpg "To the person who help themselves to my entire carton of eggs. I saw what you did and I know who you are. I sit 10 steps from the frig [sic] ya big good. The jig is up pal But hang on. Today is your lucky day. I'm not going to say a word to anyone. But moving forward if so much as a grape goes missing from either refrigerator, then I'm going to HR. Have a nice day :)")
related: ABP on the V8
126 responses so far ↓
#1
TheShoeGirl
HAHA! I love when scolding notes come with spelling mistakes!
Aug 19, 2009 at 8:31 pm rating: 3
#2
officegal
haha I love the inclusion of business-speak with the use of “moving forward”.
Yes, I work for a big company as well. And surprisingly, there are NO notes tacked up *anywhere* in our office space that I have found. SUCH a disappointment!
Aug 19, 2009 at 8:47 pm rating: 6
#3
jc
Those eggs were……..that’s right, FUCKING DELICIOUS!
Aug 19, 2009 at 8:49 pm rating: 31
#4
Someone
I wonder if the eggs were raw…
Aug 19, 2009 at 8:50 pm rating: 1
#5
kt
the frig? is that like the brig of the ship?
Aug 19, 2009 at 8:50 pm rating: 5
#6
felina
Maybe they could barter. Trade food for grammar lessons?
Aug 19, 2009 at 9:03 pm rating: 6
#7
Michael
Every workplace could use a little blackmail.
Aug 19, 2009 at 9:12 pm rating: 4
#8
david
#7… isn’t that what affirmative action is all about?
Aug 19, 2009 at 9:31 pm rating: 3
#9
Johnny
I would have added “BTW… one of those eggs was a year old… you didn’t eat them all, did you?”
Aug 19, 2009 at 9:45 pm rating: 5
#10
QuarterRoy00
I didn’t know Sarah Palin found a new job so quickly, or that she even knew how to type for that matter…
Aug 19, 2009 at 9:59 pm rating: 8
#11
Fragrant Liar
Yikes! A lot of effort to prove a point. But I do like his/her style.
Aug 19, 2009 at 10:01 pm rating: 1
#12
situational lefty
What the frig do you do with a dozen eggs in an office? Were they training for their next fight?
Aug 19, 2009 at 10:10 pm rating: 1
#13
ClearlyDemented
To whomever got me pregnant.
I know who you are, but I want to make sure you do. It’s your lucky day! I won’t sue you for sexual harassment if you just remind me who you are…er, own up to your responsibilities.
You betcha!
Sally in accounting (6 cubicles down from the condom machine)
Aug 19, 2009 at 10:20 pm rating: 9
#14
C.S. Harmonikah
“The jig is up pal”
Is it a multimedia corporation or a 1930′s detective agency?
Aug 19, 2009 at 10:55 pm rating: 13
#15
shwonline
“I’m going to HR” clearly means “I’m going to Heroically Retaliate!”. Or “I’m going to HuRl.”
Aug 19, 2009 at 11:14 pm rating: 3
#16
aaa
Ten bucks that the egg thief changed their plans from egging the boss’ car to egging the note-writer’s car.
Aug 19, 2009 at 11:22 pm rating: 16
#17
verdilith
so, the person sits 10 steps from the “frig” and saw the person take the eggs – maybe I’m missing something, but what’s wrong with saying, “excuse me, those are my eggs” or similar?
Aug 20, 2009 at 6:57 am rating: 28
#18
HorribleLicensePlates
Do people not realize the lengths you can achieve by just sitting down and talking things out? I think this is how wars start.
Aug 20, 2009 at 8:42 am rating: 4
#19
oi
I may use cheesy phrase like jig is up pal, ya big goof like you are puppet from one of my shows. I may post bright green PANs on the “frig” threating you to tell on you to mommy if you steal as much as a grape. I may record your activities around “frig” and watch you picking your nose, or scratching your butt, or slut tina and her boss making out in kitchen whenever I please.
but all this is for your moral health, ya big goof and of course I want you to have a nice day. :scarybigsmiley: don’t scratch your butt though.
Aug 20, 2009 at 9:21 am rating: 7
#20
GhostWriter
That big goof has become the office Renegade…
No don’tcha
help yourself to my eggs,
‘cuz I saw you from the hall
Your theft
has put an end to my omelet
but I’m so hungry for more
Obama
knows how hard we all have it,
bringing lunches from my home
I’m gonna turn you in to HR
no you don’t have very long…
The jig is up, the news is out
I sit ten steps from thee
I’ll shut my mouth, I’ll zip my lip
but, should a grape vanish,
nevermore I’ll hold my tongue,
I’ll report you to someone
You’re a wanted man.
Aug 20, 2009 at 9:23 am rating: 12
#21
anglophile
The Big Goof was a member of a small group of company insurgents dedicated to preventing management’s latest idiotic idea in team-building exercises. Thanks to him, there will be no egg and spoon relay at 2 o’clock, and thanks to The Dope, who was assigned to steal the oranges from the third-floor fridge, no one will have to participate in the hideous pass-the-orange-with-your-chin game. Unfortunately, the cadre could come up with no plan to stop the three-legged race, as stealing all the duct tape in the office seemed unfeasible, and the sudden warm spell made icing down the parking lot impossible.
Aug 20, 2009 at 9:44 am rating: 14
#22
Sheepish
Nobody ever uses the lime green paper in my office. It’s nice to see it is being used somewhere.
Aug 20, 2009 at 10:06 am rating: 6
#23
T imo®
Big Goof and The Holding Company never took off and in his later years he was reduced to stealing office supplies and other peoples food.
Aug 20, 2009 at 10:25 am rating: 8
#24
Rachet
I think I’d be a little embarrassed to admit to HR that I was keeping an entire carton of eggs in the office refrigerator to begin with.
Aug 20, 2009 at 10:40 am rating: 9
#25
Deanna
I think the overly large smiley at the end might be my favorite part.
Aug 20, 2009 at 10:44 am rating: 3
#26
Bob Loblaw
Who ever stole those eggs was a fucking chicken….
Bwahahahahaahahahahahahahahhaaaaa
Aug 20, 2009 at 10:53 am rating: 2
#27
Elodie
This is a great website, sometimes I can be a leeetle passive aggressive, so it’s perfect for me to laugh at myself and get on with life.
Slim Girl Diary
Aug 20, 2009 at 11:32 am rating: 1
#28
Zoe Right
What the hell is a Frig? He can hook up a camera but can’t figure out how to use spellcheck?
Aug 20, 2009 at 11:59 am rating: 1
#29
Abounding Air
Homosexual roosters?
Aug 20, 2009 at 4:17 pm rating: 1
#30
Geek Goddess
Of course, this whole thing is a bluff. They would have known who the egg-thief was if they had been at their desk the way they were supposed to be. However, they had slipped out for an unauthorized 3 hour break and missed the whole thing. Admitting to this would lose them a whole lot more than a dozen eggs. Thus, the note posted as a clever ploy to convince HR that they really were doing their job. You know, the one they are paid to do. Who knows, perhaps tomorrow a green note will be posted telling them that they are fired.
Aug 20, 2009 at 9:36 pm rating: 4
#31
Chinchillazilla
My roommate who left a PAN on Facebook after she moved out (“Brooke is happy to finally have a nice clean frig again”) must have gotten a summer job.
Valedictorian my ass.
(Can you tell I still really hate her?)
Aug 21, 2009 at 10:31 am rating: 0
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