Comrades, take notice!

August 23rd, 2009 · 96 comments

Sarah in San Francisco convinced her friend Tim to take a photo of this note, the third in a series of progressively sterner notes that has appeared in his office restroom.

Writes Sarah: “I am a fan of, inter alia, the fact that the author ‘buries the lead’ in the p.s. in the middle; the phrase ‘do not leave with the toilet paper,’ as if it’s something you pick up at a bar and take home before the beer goggles wear off; the statement that toilet paper ‘belongs to the public,’ like the state’s natural resources; and of course, the threat to make the perpetrator pay…and more.”

the toilet paper belongs to the public, not the individual

Meanwhile, this note from Jen in Richmond, B.C. is both more specific and more puzzling.

comrades, take note!

I mean, subbing paper towels for TP, I understand…you gotta do what you gotta do when your rations run out. But drying your hands with toilet paper? Really, comrades?

is your washroom breeding Bolsheviks?

related: five approaches to TP maintenance

FILED UNDER: not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · stealing · toilet paper


96 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Kelly

    I caught a capitalist breeding in my bathroom the other day. I could tell he was a capitalist because he was screwing a poor person.

    *rimshot*

    Aug 23, 2009 at 3:25 pm   rating: 85  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      The last time I saw a capitalist trying to breed in the restroom…I stuffed paper in the hole in the wall.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 3:30 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Kelly

      Damn, those glory holes attract more republicans than an NRA rally.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 5:24 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   T imo®

      In Soviet Russia toilet paper de-breed you! :razz:

      Aug 23, 2009 at 6:32 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Canthz_B bang

      Ouch! Anal debridement!!

      (there’s a code for that!)

      Aug 23, 2009 at 6:37 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   leftfoot

      Where’s the person correcting the rimshot comment?

      Aug 23, 2009 at 9:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Canthz_B bang

      Didn’t you get the memo?
      We’re forgoing comment correction in favor of actually trying to post comments which are (at least a little bit) amusing.

      Besides, we’ve all been screwed!!

      Aug 23, 2009 at 9:43 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Neeners

      The Bolshevik looks like a creepy Nazi version of a young and evil Mr. Whipple.

      If your caught squeezing the Charmin you’ll get more than a $100 fine comrade.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 10:57 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   Maureen

      I had this poster my freshman year of college. I was the only one on my floor who knew what a Bolshevik was. I weep for my generation.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 12:16 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   meh

      Don’t worry, Maureen. There were stupid people in every generation and in each of their social classes, but if we hold out hope, you can stop weeping and enlighten us all.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 1:23 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   Stasi bang

      Who steals TP from work? Seriously? Work TP, in my experience, sucks. It must’ve been an act of pure spite. *snicker*

      Aug 24, 2009 at 12:29 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   TheOldSchool bang

      I’ll admit that the idea of screwing poor people has always appealed to me.

      Look, they don’t have much else, why not bestow upon them the chance to have an orgasm when one is presented with the opportunity?

      It is called charity.

      What’s more, oftentimes, the poor wretch is completely willing! The ballgag and the hand restraints are unnecessary.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 1:23 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.12   oi bang

      what the hell is your gravatar?
      it’s disgusting.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 1:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Ghost

    “Would the person ripping the Soap dispensers of the walls please come to the customer service desk?”

    Aug 23, 2009 at 3:27 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   kt

    $100 bucks seems a little steep sheesh

    Aug 23, 2009 at 4:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Canthz_B bang

      10¢ a sheet for a thousand sheet roll?

      Crime doesn’t pay.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 6:47 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   JetJackson

      How exactly do they intend on imposing this fine?

      I have not heard of any laws that would allow a private organisation to impose some sort of ‘fine’. I don’t think ‘Grand theft TP’ is really a crime that a court would waste it’s time over… “Your honour, the plaintiff seeks damages and criminal compensation of 50 cents”… at which point I am sure the defendant could always raise the “I had curry last night” defence.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 10:25 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Beanster

      its like a swear jar. you pay it because you know the proceeds are for more booze at the work picnic.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 1:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Flaboy2425

    Well, if you’re too cheap to keep us supplied with paper towels and we can’t use the toilet paper, then I’ll just leave my hands wet and flick water in your face as I pass by your desk.

    Aug 23, 2009 at 4:19 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Big Scott

    That toilet paper was…. nah, I can’t do it.

    Aug 23, 2009 at 4:53 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   G

    If they’ve got one of those damned air dryers that leave your hands wet, and refuse to supply paper towels too, then I absolutely will use toilet paper so my hands can be DRY.

    Aug 23, 2009 at 4:54 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Liz

      Don’t you find that toilet paper just kind of shreds apart and leaves damp toilet paper lint all over your hands if you try this? Maybe that industrial-strength stuff in public restrooms wouldn’t, but I’ve never tried. I just wipe my hands on my pants like any red-blooded, God-fearing American.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 5:23 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   ClearlyDemented

      I appreciate your patriotism, Liz. But I think real God-fearin’ Americans just find a non-God-fearin’ American and use THEIR pants. Then they whisper something in their ear like, “If only you hated the gays, things like this wouldn’t happen to you.”

      Aug 23, 2009 at 5:48 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Canthz_B bang

      I just rip a few pages out of the Bible and use those.
      They’re surprisingly absorbent, except the ones that describe the great flood, for some odd reason.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 5:52 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   G

      No, no, John Wayne toilet paper (rough, tough, won’t take no crap offa nobody) is perfectly suitable for drying hands. And if the restroom has an air dryer, it’s certain to have John Wayne toilet paper.

      Sometimes wiping on pants isn’t an option (material absorbency’s all wrong). And if I need to wash my face, I can’t exactly reach my face with my pants to wipe it dry, either.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 6:15 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Canthz_B bang

      Well, if it won’t take no crap offa nobody, then all it’s really good for is hand drying.
      I depend on my toilet paper to take crap off of me.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 6:24 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   GK bang

      I believe that was the joke G was making, yep. :-)

      Aug 24, 2009 at 3:44 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   Canthz_B bang

      G, you find that on occasion you need to wash your face in a public lavatory?

      I’d think, in that case, how you dry it wouldn’t be such a big deal.

      Holy shit! I’ve forgotten to wash the night’s spittle residue off my face before I got to work today! No worries, I’ll just do it in the mens room!!

      Aug 24, 2009 at 5:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      I splash my face with water all the time in the afternoons at work. It is refreshing and invigorating. Cold water also puts a little colour back in my face when it’s pasty from staring at a computer screen all day at work. You must get hip to this.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 10:50 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.9   Adam

      It is really fecal mist that you are splashing on your face. Ewww!

      Aug 24, 2009 at 1:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.10   zebra

      exactly

      I grab a lot of toliet paper to help dry my hands because I don’t wear jeans every day!

      Aug 24, 2009 at 3:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.11   Canthz_B bang

      Thanks, Scribbles, but I always have plenty of color in my face.
      It’s “congenial”!

      Aug 24, 2009 at 8:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.12   Car RamRod

      Office restrooms can be used for all sorts of last minute self-cleaning projects. Washing one’s face/genitalia of the secretary’s lipstick before heading home. Perhaps even washing the shame and whore sweat off when you wake up in a motel room and realize you’re late for work. Whether you’re a sexual deviant or not, toilet paper is a lousy medium for drying oneself. That’s why every responsible pervert comes prepared with wet-wipes, then giggles to himself as he flushes them, causing a terrible clog for the next poor bastard to deal with.

      Aug 25, 2009 at 3:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   ClearlyDemented

    I think they really did bury the lead in that first one. Who cares about toilet roll paper when someone stole the women’s and men’s bathrooms?!

    Aug 23, 2009 at 5:32 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Canthz_B bang

      Not to mention why it was allowed to happen over the course of a few months.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 5:40 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    I’m still trying to figure out what a toilet roll is and what type of paper it uses. :???:

    Aug 23, 2009 at 5:34 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Canthz_B bang

      A gutter ball in toilet bowling?

      Aug 23, 2009 at 5:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   ClearlyDemented

      I can only assume it’s a special kind of paper for people who prefer to save their ‘toilet rolls’. Perhaps it’s a commune thing, they save it for their composts.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 5:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Neeners

      First note person must use english as a second language. What is ‘toilet roll paper’ should be toilet paper roll or just toilet paper ?

      Aug 23, 2009 at 10:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   octavius

      The toilet roll paper must be the laminated card centre.

      I have been forced on more than one occasion to dismantle these at the end of business and use the shreds in place of the appropriate product. This is not to be recommended, mostly because it is painful and ineffective but also due to one’s having to adopt that wide stance which can so easily be misinterpreted should a member of the GOP be in the adjoining stall.

      Check the roll before using the bowl!

      Aug 23, 2009 at 10:56 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   shwonline bang

      toilet roll = worst sushi ever

      Aug 23, 2009 at 11:16 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   GK bang

      “Toilet roll” is the Rightpondian term for the substance. No idea what “Toilet Roll Paper” is meant to mean, though, perhaps the note-writer was trying to be culturally inclusive?

      Aug 24, 2009 at 3:46 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      In Scotland, we call it “bog paper”. Just sayin’.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 11:20 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   mamason bang

      Do they even have toilets in Scotland?

      Aug 25, 2009 at 4:00 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    That second notice should have been proof-read as often as that bathroom is inspected!

    “…keep your building a safe and clean…” Aw damn! I’m out of words!

    Aug 23, 2009 at 5:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   park rose bang

      :lol: CB.

      Personally, I think they were playing indefinite article (a/an) Russian Roulette (we’re running on the Bolshie theme, right?).

      I can imagine them thinking, I’ve only got one ‘a’. What’ll I do with it? It kind of looks right before”regular basis” [which I keep reading as regular basins], but what’s a regular? That can’t be right. But I know it’s gotta go somewhere. Those basins are probably irregular anyway, and maybe the irregular doesn’t take an article…

      Sweat pours off the brow (but our hapless notewriter does not sop it up with toilet paper! He sticks to his principles before they stick to him).

      A fine, a fine…nahhh.
      “How are you today?”
      “I’m a fine thanks.”
      Doesn’t work.

      I’ve got an enormorous…?
      Well, we all know that but, that doesn’t make sense in the context of this note.

      Still I’ve got this spare ‘a’…
      Safe, safe… that’s where I lock up all my cash, and I keep it clean, too. What the hell. I’ve gotta put it somewhere. This’ll do!

      Aug 23, 2009 at 6:59 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Canthz_B bang

      I don’t know half of what you said, rose…but in the end I LOL’ed! :lol:

      Aug 23, 2009 at 7:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Clumber

      Rose, I think I love you. ♥♥♥

      I may, however, soon be even further below your standards as if I laugh one more time my boss will realize there is NO FREAKING WAY that I am carefully studying the PTI report (I shit you not) that he wants input for, and under the bridge in a cardboard box shall I be. 84 pages of misusing circular conclusions gleaned from statistics clearly pulled out of a squirrel’s ass.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 5:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   muskteeersplus2

    Doood… you use the TP to dry your hands when the company puts in those dumb ass air dryers that blow less hot air than Dubya on one of his dumbest days!

    Wet hands is the breeding ground for bacteria… I totally do this when I have to.

    Aug 23, 2009 at 6:23 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Canthz_B bang

      ??? Even a blast furnace blows less hot air than Dubya on one of his dumbest days.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 6:33 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   park rose bang

    Note one brought to you by Back and More,
    First floor accountancy department staff,
    Quality control for the general public,
    Suppliers of toilet roll paper for mens and womens,
    For when you’ve gotta spend a penny.

    Aug 23, 2009 at 6:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   N/A

    I’m betting they’re near a college campus. I bought one 4 pack of toilet tissue during the two years I lived in accommodation without cleaning service. Usually our bathroom was stocked with those giant paper rolls (the kind for hand drying) that we liberated from public restrooms.

    Aug 23, 2009 at 7:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Canthz_B bang

      A nice laxative seems to have been in order.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 7:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   leftfoot

    It is morally reprehensible to on one hand state that the toilet paper “belongs to the public”, and then stipulate how it’s used, how much and how often.

    Impeach the Office Manager, NOW!

    Aug 23, 2009 at 9:08 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   ClearlyDemented

      Like public pools that try to tell us we can’t swim because we have boils! Down with The Man!

      Aug 23, 2009 at 9:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Canthz_B bang

      Do not use the toilet paper as a flotation device.

      Aug 23, 2009 at 9:49 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   leftfoot

      You remind me of The Man..

      (What man? The Man with the power.. What power?.. The power of voodoo.. who do?.. you do.. do what?.. Remind me of the man…

      Sorry.. I had to get that out.)

      Aug 23, 2009 at 9:50 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   Canthz_B bang

      The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer…Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, and Shirley Temple.

      But, it’s “…a man” and “The power of Hoodoo.”

      Leftfoot, your “growing pains are rapidly becoming a major disease.” :lol:

      Homework assignment: Wham/Ham…

      Aug 23, 2009 at 10:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   park rose bang

      Bowie also alludes to it in Labyrinth. Even so, the lyrics are ‘the babe’, but hoodoo is changed to voodoo.

      You remind me of the babe
      What babe? the babe with the power
      What power? power of voodoo
      Who do? you do
      Do what? remind me of the babe

      Many bastard children of the original out there ;)

      Aug 24, 2009 at 1:11 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   meh

      I saw my work-mate
      Cry as hard as she could cry.
      We all know why.
      Her toilet roll had gone,
      And that made her come unglued.
      Nobody knew
      What font and clip art to use…

      Aug 24, 2009 at 1:40 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.7   Canthz_B bang

      Yes, rose, but “voodoo” hardly elicits the response “Hoodoo?” like “Hoodoo” does, as in the classic Cary Grant scene in the movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-m3afN7t6c

      You remind me of a man.
      What man?
      The man with the power.
      What power?
      The power of Hoodoo.
      Hoodoo?
      You do.
      Do what?
      Remind me of a man.
      What man?
      The man with the power…

      The question “Hoodoo?” (as in “what is Hoodoo?”) is essential, it’s what makes the “You do.” show the context break so clearly. There’s no joke without it.
      Voodoo just doesn’t make that happen.
      The question would be “Voodoo?”, and all would be lost!

      Ah well, it’s just American humor…LOL

      Oops, did Canthz_B say “context”? Sorry, he knows nothing about grammar, that was a slip of the typing fingers!
      Gotta keep the real person separate from the on-line persona!

      Aug 24, 2009 at 5:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.8   anglophile bang

      Well, it’s a tough call between Cary Grant and David Bowie, but, on the whole, I think I’ll pick Bowie. Mostly for sheer nostalgia.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 9:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.9   meh

      And his sweet bulge.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 12:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.10   park rose

      Sure, it’s a great scene. I love the original. Which is by far the wittier, hands down.

      Just saying it spawned bastard children.

      Labyrinth was a Jim Henson production. American I believe. So I don’t know which humor is applicable there.

      Yes, Meh, Bowie knows how to work his spandex, ;)

      Aug 24, 2009 at 12:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.11   T imo®

      Myrna Loy was so hubba hubba in that! What a great movie!. The obstacle course race sequence was great. Thanks for reminding me of something wonderful.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 1:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.12   leftfoot

      Wow! I didn’t think my childhood memories would start such a debate! :-)

      So, my “bastardization” is because of my mom. Don’t ask me why or how or what, but it was something that she said. I come from a very kooky family. That’s all I know.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 7:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.13   Canthz_B bang

      Sorry. Didn’t mean to start anything. I’ve never heard the Bowie song (not my thing), but I just happened to catch the movie last week.
      No harm, no foul, right?

      T imo®, I love the potato race…so close, yet so far!
      And the knight in shining armor scenes! Oh! And at the end in the airport when the uncle tells the DA he’ll go get help! ROTFL

      Here’s the airport scene.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 8:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.14   park rose

      It’s a pretty bad song, CB, but a kind of cute movie (Labyrinth).

      I totally agree with you that the dialogue in certain 40s flicks beats nearly anything out there. Thanks for posting that. I really enjoyed it.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 9:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.15   mamason bang

      Labyrinth is one of my bestest all time favorite movies ever in the whole world!

      Aug 25, 2009 at 10:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   T

    I would use toilet paper to dry my hands if the bathroom in question had an air dryer instead of paper towels. Those things are nasty, and actually put more germs on your hands than were there prior to washing.

    Speaking of nasty, a few weeks ago I went up to James Lick Observatory in San Jose, CA, and they had those hella old towels on a loop in their bathrooms. I decided at the time that not washing my hands would be cleaner than touching those decades old loops that god knows who has touched. Gross.

    Aug 23, 2009 at 10:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   tinkerbell2

      you probably worry about fecal mist too, right?

      Aug 24, 2009 at 7:56 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   N/A

      Hand dryers are more hygienic than paper towels and better for the environment. I refuse to shop at Nordstrom because they didn’t put in hand dryers when they built their restrooms. So backwards.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 8:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Morris

      I never understood this “hand dryers are better for the environment” argument. I imagine it takes a hell of a lot of electricity to run a hand drying machine. Not to mention all the noise pollution they produce. Maybe we should all just go back to carrying handkerchiefs in our pockets an be done with it.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 6:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Mark bang

      As usual, The Straight Dope has something to say about this.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 6:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   park rose

      Morris, it’s rare to find paper towels or hand-dryers in Japan.

      Nearly everyone carries a small flannel. I think it’s probably a more feasible way of helping reduce using up resources than Sheryl Crow’s one sheet of toilet paper. Though, it should be noted, the flannel is used for drying hands only! The toilet roll paper is used for the other extremities.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 8:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Neeners

    If the toilet paper belongs to the ‘public’ do we have to ask public permission to wipe our bums or do we get members of the public to do it for us when we use their toilet paper?

    Aug 23, 2009 at 10:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Canthz_B bang

      If anyone needs a wipe-down, it’s your average bum!

      Aug 23, 2009 at 11:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Neeners

      I’ve been told my bum is above average by those in the know.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 11:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   zombieBlanco bang

    Al Gore knows you’ve been stealing the toilet roll paper.

    Aug 24, 2009 at 12:05 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   zombieBlanco bang

      Dear Comrades,
      I, of course, am in the pristine 50% .
      much love, zB

      Aug 24, 2009 at 12:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   anglophile bang

      Dear zB,

      Yes, but you would still need the deluxe model with the dryer to avoid toilet roll paper use, right?

      yours in Hicksville,
      anglophile

      Aug 24, 2009 at 9:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Floost

    I really like your blog and i respect your work. I’ll be a frequent visitor.

    Aug 24, 2009 at 12:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   GK bang

      Please, don’t go to any trouble on our account.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 3:50 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Comrade Masha G.

    When my friend was visiting me, she used the toilet paper to dry her hands and face and went through an entire roll a day! Spoiled capitalist pig! There is no place for you in the revolutionary society!

    Here, have a Soviet joke:

    A man has been trying to buy toilet paper, but the store has always run out. One day he sees an old woman walking in the street carrying two bags full of rolls of toilet paper. He asks in shock, “Where did you buy all that?”

    The woman says, “Buy? Are you crazy? They are five years old. I’m taking them back from the cleaners!”

    Aug 24, 2009 at 9:18 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   T imo® bang

    Hank Muir, John’s lesser known but more flatulent brother, wrote a manifesto about how the toilet paper is for all people not the individual.
    He did not advocate people rising up to secure this right of the collective because that would make a mess.

    Aug 24, 2009 at 9:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   anglophile bang

    I am not a fan of, among other things, the more obscure latin phrases that have only survived in English due to use by pre-law students trying too hard to appear all smart and shit.

    Aug 24, 2009 at 10:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      C’mon, anglophile, surely you know that abusus non tollit usum. Haud ignota loquor!

      Aug 24, 2009 at 11:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   TheOldSchool bang

      “Ladies , commodo. Operor non premo Charmin.”

      Aug 24, 2009 at 1:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   TheOldSchool bang

      Re: Charmin

      Look, here’s the bottom line. Yes, I love the way it feels, but it turned an ordinary poo into a clog.

      You all know, in your hearts, that I dearly love my own sweet ass,* but not enough … apparently … not enough.

      This is not an ad for Scott’s.

      * It keeps my head safe.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 2:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   park rose

      I gave you a thumb, TOS, though how I managed to find space for it, I don’t know ;)

      ‘glo, ipso facto they should stop all that pretentious shit!

      And you can apply Scribble’s quote to mine (had to google), but I kind of like the obscure phrases… some are really handy. Explaining the meaning of vice versa takes forever, and etc., and i.e. and et al. are kind of useful. (I know they are not examples of more obscure forms of Latin).

      What I am not a fan of is when French (without translation) takes up a good paragraph, or let’s face it, even a line or two of a book that I’m reading. And by French, I mean the language.

      Aug 24, 2009 at 8:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   whatyouarenot

    I feel a wipe comin’ on, a wipe comin’ on
    5, 4, 3, 2, 1
    Come on wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe
    Come on wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe
    Cotton Candy sweet and low
    Let me see that toilet roll

    Aug 24, 2009 at 3:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Sandy

    Haha Jen from Richmond, rep!
    Now I feel the urge to find that note.

    Aug 27, 2009 at 5:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Standing is not an option | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] related: Comrades, take notice! [...]

    Dec 10, 2009 at 10:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
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    [...] Comrades, take notice! [...]

    May 24, 2010 at 7:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   A penny (or 27 of them) for your thoughts on toilet paper? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Is your washroom breeding Bolsheviks?[...]

    Aug 24, 2010 at 9:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
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    [...] Comrades, take notice! [...]

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