sarah in san francisco convinced her friend tim to take a photo of this note, the third in a series of progressively sterner notes that has appeared in his office restroom. writes sarah: “i am a fan of, inter alia, the fact that the author ‘buries the lead’ in the p.s. in the middle; the phrase ‘do not leave with the toilet paper,’ as if it’s something you pick up at a bar and take home before the beer goggles wear off; the statement that toilet paper ‘belongs to the public,’ like the state’s natural resources; and of course, the threat to make the perpetrator pay…and more.”
meanwhile, this note from jen in richmond, b.c. is both more specific and yet, more puzzling.
i mean, subbing paper towels for TP, i understand…you gotta do what you gotta do when your rations run out. but drying your hands with toilet paper? really, comrades?
related: five approaches to TP maintenance
92 responses so far ↓
#1
Kelly
I caught a capitalist breeding in my bathroom the other day. I could tell he was a capitalist because he was screwing a poor person.
*rimshot*
Aug 23, 2009 at 3:25 pm rating: +50
#2
Ghost
“Would the person ripping the Soap dispensers of the walls please come to the customer service desk?”
Aug 23, 2009 at 3:27 pm rating: +6
#3
kt
$100 bucks seems a little steep sheesh
Aug 23, 2009 at 4:09 pm rating: +1
#4
Flaboy2425
Well, if you’re too cheap to keep us supplied with paper towels and we can’t use the toilet paper, then I’ll just leave my hands wet and flick water in your face as I pass by your desk.
Aug 23, 2009 at 4:19 pm rating: +26
#5
Big Scott
That toilet paper was…. nah, I can’t do it.
Aug 23, 2009 at 4:53 pm rating: +16
#6
G
If they’ve got one of those damned air dryers that leave your hands wet, and refuse to supply paper towels too, then I absolutely will use toilet paper so my hands can be DRY.
Aug 23, 2009 at 4:54 pm rating: +14
#7
ClearlyDemented
I think they really did bury the lead in that first one. Who cares about toilet roll paper when someone stole the women’s and men’s bathrooms?!
Aug 23, 2009 at 5:32 pm rating: +18
#8
Canthz_B
I’m still trying to figure out what a toilet roll is and what type of paper it uses.
Aug 23, 2009 at 5:34 pm rating: +4
#9
Canthz_B
That second notice should have been proof-read as often as that bathroom is inspected!
“…keep your building a safe and clean…” Aw damn! I’m out of words!
Aug 23, 2009 at 5:43 pm rating: +3
#10
muskteeersplus2
Doood… you use the TP to dry your hands when the company puts in those dumb ass air dryers that blow less hot air than Dubya on one of his dumbest days!
Wet hands is the breeding ground for bacteria… I totally do this when I have to.
Aug 23, 2009 at 6:23 pm rating: +6
#11
park rose
Note one brought to you by Back and More,
First floor accountancy department staff,
Quality control for the general public,
Suppliers of toilet roll paper for mens and womens,
For when you’ve gotta spend a penny.
Aug 23, 2009 at 6:42 pm rating: +2
#12
N/A
I’m betting they’re near a college campus. I bought one 4 pack of toilet tissue during the two years I lived in accommodation without cleaning service. Usually our bathroom was stocked with those giant paper rolls (the kind for hand drying) that we liberated from public restrooms.
Aug 23, 2009 at 7:42 pm rating: +3
#13
leftfoot
It is morally reprehensible to on one hand state that the toilet paper “belongs to the public”, and then stipulate how it’s used, how much and how often.
Impeach the Office Manager, NOW!
Aug 23, 2009 at 9:08 pm rating: +12
#14
T
I would use toilet paper to dry my hands if the bathroom in question had an air dryer instead of paper towels. Those things are nasty, and actually put more germs on your hands than were there prior to washing.
Speaking of nasty, a few weeks ago I went up to James Lick Observatory in San Jose, CA, and they had those hella old towels on a loop in their bathrooms. I decided at the time that not washing my hands would be cleaner than touching those decades old loops that god knows who has touched. Gross.
Aug 23, 2009 at 10:48 pm rating: +2
#15
Neeners
If the toilet paper belongs to the ‘public’ do we have to ask public permission to wipe our bums or do we get members of the public to do it for us when we use their toilet paper?
Aug 23, 2009 at 10:50 pm rating: +3
#16
zombieBlanco
Al Gore knows you’ve been stealing the toilet roll paper.
Aug 24, 2009 at 12:05 am rating: +2
#17
Floost
I really like your blog and i respect your work. I’ll be a frequent visitor.
Aug 24, 2009 at 12:26 am rating: 0
#18
Comrade Masha G.
When my friend was visiting me, she used the toilet paper to dry her hands and face and went through an entire roll a day! Spoiled capitalist pig! There is no place for you in the revolutionary society!
Here, have a Soviet joke:
A man has been trying to buy toilet paper, but the store has always run out. One day he sees an old woman walking in the street carrying two bags full of rolls of toilet paper. He asks in shock, “Where did you buy all that?”
The woman says, “Buy? Are you crazy? They are five years old. I’m taking them back from the cleaners!”
Aug 24, 2009 at 9:18 am rating: +5
#19
T imo®
Hank Muir, John’s lesser known but more flatulent brother, wrote a manifesto about how the toilet paper is for all people not the individual.
He did not advocate people rising up to secure this right of the collective because that would make a mess.
Aug 24, 2009 at 9:31 am rating: +2
#20
anglophile
I am not a fan of, among other things, the more obscure latin phrases that have only survived in English due to use by pre-law students trying too hard to appear all smart and shit.
Aug 24, 2009 at 10:45 am rating: +2
#21
whatyouarenot
I feel a wipe comin’ on, a wipe comin’ on
5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Come on wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe
Come on wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe
Cotton Candy sweet and low
Let me see that toilet roll
Aug 24, 2009 at 3:11 pm rating: 0
#22
Sandy
Haha Jen from Richmond, rep!
Now I feel the urge to find that note.
Aug 27, 2009 at 5:23 pm rating: 0
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