no, it’s not really “passive-aggressive.” but this find — spotted by matthew in los angeles — is just too magical to keep to myself.
oh, and mishell, if you ever jog on down to austin and want to share a banana-free breakfast taco or tamale, let me know. (but let’s say 9:30, ’cause i have something at 11:00.)
related: phil the vampire slayer
extra credit: notes from chris [urbanprankster.com]
craig’s posters [sydney morning herald]
99 responses so far ↓
#1
C
Personally, I would immediately begin searching for this ring, working tirelessly until I found it, just for the chance to meet such an august personage.
Aug 24, 2009 at 9:41 pm rating: +38
#2
Andrea
You don’t even get a whole scone if you find it, just half. I guess I will just find half the ring.
Aug 24, 2009 at 9:41 pm rating: +19
#3
ole
love the Wet Hot ref
Aug 24, 2009 at 9:42 pm rating: +1
#4
sonicmega
I could swear I’ve seen a series of these as “Notes in Australia”, but perhaps this is just a less-than-unique note that took after the predecessors.
Aug 24, 2009 at 9:44 pm rating: +2
#5
oi
but but I am busy at 8:42 AM, how about 1:17:35 pm?
Aug 24, 2009 at 9:47 pm rating: +4
#6
Kirk
What happens if you show up with the ring at 8:43? Is the deal off?
Aug 24, 2009 at 9:48 pm rating: +12
#7
cbreitel
She has a pinky ring, is a jogger, owns a terrier, and is cocky enough to offer sharing a scone with her as though being in her presence alone was some sort of gift. All the hallmarks of a cute chick. I’d go for it.
Aug 24, 2009 at 9:49 pm rating: +6
#8
park rose
That silver pinky ring was fucking Delicatessen.
Aug 24, 2009 at 9:54 pm rating: +14
#9
Bella
too funny! Michel might end up being somebody’s Bell!
Aug 24, 2009 at 9:59 pm rating: +1
#10
Bella
oooo, my bad! Mishell…what an odd spelling!
Aug 24, 2009 at 10:01 pm rating: +1
#11
TheOldSchool
How many pinky rings have to get lost before society finally tackles the scary sprinkler menace?
It’s making me angry!
Aug 24, 2009 at 10:01 pm rating: +38
#12
f.crustacea
aw, that last bit makes it seem like it was written by a teenager. so that makes it cute. but if she’s older then it’s just weird
Aug 24, 2009 at 10:04 pm rating: +1
#13
breadandcirce
Reminds me of this, from Urban Prankster today:
http://urbanprankster.com/2009/08/meet-me-her/
Aug 24, 2009 at 10:08 pm rating: 0
#14
situational lefty
Hello people, don’t you get it? This isn’t a crazy person, it’s a coded message meant for a secret agent. Or an alien.
I’m going to adjust my aluminum foil hat now.
Aug 24, 2009 at 10:30 pm rating: +8
#15
Na
My first thought is that she loses her ring regularly on purpose as a way of meeting people! Perhaps she hopes to meet her soul mate?
Aug 24, 2009 at 10:32 pm rating: +1
#16
Jess
Inspired by Notes from Chris?
http://web.mac.com/lambtodd/iWeb/todd%20lamb%20/Todd%20Lamb%20Notes%20From%20Chris.html
or Craig’s other list
http://westonculture.worklifedesign.com.au/2009/03/craigs-other-list/
Aug 24, 2009 at 10:35 pm rating: 0
#17
Kristin
Mishell spelling looks weird, as does “alergic”
Aug 24, 2009 at 10:35 pm rating: +1
#18
ClearlyDemented
I’m a little confused. Is she just assuming that the ring’s there because getting scared makes things fall off your fingers or does she know she dropped it and was too scared to pick it up?
Either way, I’m pretty sure Mishell is my new bestest friend, and I’ll be there at 8:42 with a scone for her (in a waterproof container, just in case.)
Aug 24, 2009 at 10:39 pm rating: +2
#19
comment
Another Todd Lamb spoof. I still find it funny though.
Aug 24, 2009 at 11:05 pm rating: +1
#20
Silhouette
Since the sign says she lost the ring “yesterday” does that mean she posts a new one every day until Tuesday?
Aug 24, 2009 at 11:06 pm rating: +1
#21
Neeners
This one has been rejected from every dating site tried, so why not give the old false pinky ring story to get a date? You’ll find one of these endearing notes at every park and stop sign posted with different meeting places. Don’t even care what sex you are just show up and eat scones or some of Mishell’s hot love muffins.
Aug 24, 2009 at 11:19 pm rating: +1
#22
Canthz_B
Of all the physiological manifestations of fear, the dreaded finger-shrinkage is by far the worst.
Damn TOS! That wasn’t up there when I started reading this thread!
Aug 24, 2009 at 11:27 pm rating: +2
#23
Wade
Slowly, painfully, consciousness returned to Mishell, assisted by her terrier anxiously licking her face. She felt the cool roughness of the concrete sidewalk against her body. How did she get here? What had happened? Then, in the distance, she heard that sound. The thwack, thwack, thwack of a sprinkler. A shiver of fear coursed through her body. The sprinkler. It always comes back to the sprinkler. She picked herself up, noticing, out of the corner of her eye, the coffee shop across the street. Her faithful terrier by her side, Mishell limped home. It was there, munching on a leftover scone that she realized, to her horror, that her prized pinkie ring was missing! How could she have lost it? The sprinkler!! How could she get it back? She stared at her half eaten scone, then at her computer, and a plan took form in her mind….
Aug 24, 2009 at 11:28 pm rating: +29
#24
Canthz_B
Really, how precious is a scone’s-worth of ring? If I found it I’d stop heading for the pawn shop as soon as I read this “reward” notice.
Aug 24, 2009 at 11:33 pm rating: +1
#25
Canthz_B
Was she scared by her own terrier which was upset by the sprinklers?
Never good to upset a terrier’s routine, and it’s usually quiet around there at 8:42AM.
Aug 24, 2009 at 11:39 pm rating: +2
#26
arthur zip
Anal?
Aug 24, 2009 at 11:54 pm rating: +2
#27
JetJackson
It would seem that the Dark Lord Sauron was going about it entirely the wrong way…
“I lost my one ring. Originally forged in the fires of Mount Doom it has great sentimental value. I was in a bit of a tussle with this Isildur chap who managed to cut off my finger along with the ring. If you have found it please meet me here at 2pm tomorrow. As a reward I will have my army of Orcs smite your enemies… or we could share a coffee? No dairy though as I am lactose intolerant. “
Aug 24, 2009 at 11:57 pm rating: +37
#28
Wordtinker doesnt smith
So, it wasn’t the sprinklers but the Orcs that scared Mishell and caused all that screaming, shattering the usual quiet stillness at 8:42?
Aug 24, 2009 at 11:58 pm rating: +2
#29
S/he?
I’m kind of surprised that everyone else thinks the note writer is female. I thought they were male from the style the note was written in. Not to mention that the only people I’ve ever seen with pinky rings have been guys. Ah well.
Aug 25, 2009 at 1:16 am rating: +1
#30
Matt Wilson
Hey, thanks everyone! I photographed and submitted this today after spotting it on Hollywood Blvd Saturday night.
I think those who point out its similarity to other notes are probably correct and it is an inspired imitation. I thought about going out there at 8:42 tomorrow just to see who would show but now I don’t think so.
I love this site, and it’s a pleasure to have found something that entertains you.
Aug 25, 2009 at 1:39 am rating: +2
#31
GhostWriter
I think I <past-tense verb> my <body jewelry> here yesterday. The <moist object> went off while I was <action verb-ing> with my <male pet> and it <action verb-ed> me. If you found it please <action verb> me here on <date/time>. As a reward, we can go to <exotic location> and <two-person activity> a <decadent food> or <breakfast item>, but nothing with <oddly-shapped fruit>, I’m <common illness>.
Aug 25, 2009 at 7:37 am rating: +7
#32
Michelle
mishell?? Really?? WOW. I mean, maybe that’s a real name. But it kinda looks like how dumb people spell my name.
Aug 25, 2009 at 9:29 am rating: +3
#33
Boo
Mishell? Mispell more like.
Aug 25, 2009 at 9:47 am rating: +6
#34
Sherry
Wait. The sprinkler scared Mishell?
I say we meet Mishell @ 8:42 with a super soaker, roll her for her muffin change. Head over and get all the banana muffins we want!
And keep the damn ring.
And her little doggie too!
Aug 25, 2009 at 1:17 pm rating: +10
#35
bowloftoast
Every Tuesday morning, Mishell arrives early to the parkette adjacent to the pole with the flyer. She sits with binoculars in hand on a well-shaded bench. Her little dog chases leaves nearby. By no later than 8:30am, three or four men have gathered at the base of the pole. Each of the men has a Sterling Silver pinkie ring in their possession – the type that can be purchased from the jewellery counter at Sears – and dreams of romance with a beautiful stranger.
Week after week, she watches from afar, as the meeting time comes and goes, and the men slowly lose hope and drift off. All except for Phil. Every Tuesday Phil waits until 11:00am just in case.
Mishell watches Phil, and indulges in his visible anticipation at each approaching woman, until he too reaches the realization that she isn’t going to show. He lays his small bouquet of flowers at the base of the pole, reads her flyer again just to be sure, then heads home, resigned to return in seven days.
Mishell then walks to the pole, dog in tow, picks up the bouquet, and strolls away down the boulevard.
I’ve watched from the café across the street, this perverse ballet play out for four consecutive weeks now, and I can’t take it anymore. I can’t watch Phil go through it again.
Today, I have everything I need to bring this to an end. It’s 8:45am, and this Tuesday’s group of hopefuls are gathered at the telephone pole just as they have for the last month. Phil is staring dreamily into the small case he holds, at the silver ring. Mishell is in her usual spot, watching from a distance – languishing in their torment. I grab my knapsack, exit the café, and walk quickly toward the parkette.
Crossing through Mishell’s line of sight, I move to the other side of the road, pass her bench, then double back, and move quietly through the gate so I am behind her. She is focused on the group across the street, and doesn’t know I’m there. I close the distance between us slowly and draw a few dog biscuits out of my pocket and toss them to the terrier. Moving to within a few fit of the woman, I reach into my knapsack.
I can feel the pulp oozing through my fingers as I rub the rotten bananas into her face, her mouth, her nose. The binoculars fall to the ground. I squat down and grab another handful of bananas from the open knapsack, and mash that handful on top of the first. Mishell is stunned, arms flailing, but unable to get up or even to scream as I cram the second handful into her mouth, bursting the skins.
The dog begins to bark maniacally. I have only moments left. With both hands I reach into the knapsack for the last of them. Mishell tries desperately to push the fruit out of her eyes and gain her bearings, but it’s too late. I’m on her with the final banana assault, mashing pulp into her hair, her ears, and then rubbing the remains along the length of her arms.
I bolt from the park, leaving Mishell and her entourage behind me. By the time she finds her lungs, I am already two streets away.
On Saturday morning I venture back to the neighbourhood. No one takes any notice of me and I’m feeling a bit smug in having pull off the perfect crime. Across the street from the cafe, Mishell’s flyer has been removed from the telephone pole.
Aug 25, 2009 at 2:38 pm rating: +13
#36
aaa
EDIT
cbreitel beat me to it.
Except I added the “scared of sprinklers” and “isn’t savvy enough to use Craigslist or Match.com to find company.”
Aug 25, 2009 at 6:53 pm rating: 0
#37
aaa
Ten bucks there is no pinkie ring, terrier, or sprinkler, and Mishell is just desperate for company, but hasn’t figured out how to work the internet.
Aug 25, 2009 at 6:54 pm rating: 0
#38
Geek Goddess
Obviously, one of these. Misshell was trespassing, and simply refuses to own up to it.
Aug 25, 2009 at 8:16 pm rating: 0
#39
Bri
wait….an amelie/wet hot/friday night lights reference all over the course of just 2 days? can WE share a banana-free breakfast tamale please??
Aug 26, 2009 at 11:31 am rating: +1
#40
Lolly
Eh? So when she’s startled, she reaches for her pinky, removes her ring and drops it?! Freak.
Aug 28, 2009 at 8:35 am rating: 0
#41
Cordelia
Maybe her terrier ate the ring because she’s been starving it by only feeding it half a stinkin’ scone!
Sep 2, 2009 at 10:10 pm rating: 0
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