Entries from August 2009

Comrades, take notice!

August 23rd, 2009 · 96 Comments

Sarah in San Francisco convinced her friend Tim to take a photo of this note, the third in a series of progressively sterner notes that has appeared in his office restroom.

Writes Sarah: “I am a fan of, inter alia, the fact that the author ‘buries the lead’ in the p.s. in the middle; the phrase ‘do not leave with the toilet paper,’ as if it’s something you pick up at a bar and take home before the beer goggles wear off; the statement that toilet paper ‘belongs to the public,’ like the state’s natural resources; and of course, the threat to make the perpetrator pay…and more.”

the toilet paper belongs to the public, not the individual

Meanwhile, this note from Jen in Richmond, B.C. is both more specific and more puzzling.

comrades, take note!

I mean, subbing paper towels for TP, I understand…you gotta do what you gotta do when your rations run out. But drying your hands with toilet paper? Really, comrades?

is your washroom breeding Bolsheviks?

related: five approaches to TP maintenance

Tags: not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · stealing · toilet paper

Yeah, so your mom does live here. Point being?

August 20th, 2009 · 110 Comments

K, so, we’ve all seen a million notes like this…

sad little orphans

(Check out that sad little orphan S!)
 mom?

 "you're mom!"

 your mother = a french maid?

…but it actually takes a real mother to poke a hole in that logic.
yeah, so your mom does live here. point being?

related: Your mother doesn’t work here. Or here. Or here.

Tags: Moms & Dads · p.s. · signed with love · smiley · Your mother doesn't... · your/you're

Frig you, ya big goof

August 19th, 2009 · 126 Comments

This note, from Michelle in Denver, displays the remarkable lengths that some people will go to avoid confrontation.

“This bright-green gem wasn’t the only priceless thing visible,” Michelle says. “On the cubicle wall closest to the refrigerators was a camera…and it was actually connected to the computer and recording a live feed. This is why you don’t steal from the fridge when you work for a multimedia corporation!”

To the person who help themselves to my entire carton of eggs. I saw what you did and I know who you are. I sit 10 steps from the frig [sic] ya big good. The jig is up pal But hang on. Today is your lucky day. I'm not going to say a word to anyone. But moving forward if so much as a grape goes missing from either refrigerator, then I'm going to HR. Have a nice day :)

related: ABP on the V8

Tags: Denver · food · have a nice day · message to all intended for one · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · smiley

On second thought…maybe I’ll just take a bath.

August 18th, 2009 · 118 Comments

Are you enjoying the last few weeks of swimmin’ pool season, kids?  Tom in Fayetteville, Arkansas was…until he saw the 11th commandment posted nearby.

Anyone who has or has had diarrhea in the past two (2) weeks shall not use the pool

And if that doesn’t make you want to suit up and dive in…

Children not toilet trained or have skin lesions, communicable disease, open sores, boils, colds, nasal or ear discharge are not admitted within pool enclosure.

POOL'S CLOSED due to AIDS and Sting Rays (who also have AIDS)

Use Bathroom (Not Our Pool)

related: Maybe “no teenagers” would have been simpler

Tags: swimming pool · that's unsanitary

An evening of congenial abnormality

August 17th, 2009 · 136 Comments

Alexandra in Renton, Washington received this invitation from a former supervisor at a hospital. “Rumors had been circulating that she and another supervisor had a personality clash, and then recently an e-mail was distributed indicating that her position had been terminated.”

The invitation gets off to a roaring start with the mention of “12 years, the first ten of them terrific,” and the “come hear all about it” seems to portend some seriously juicy trash-talking.  Says Alexandra: “I wouldn’t miss this party for the world.”

congenital conversation and memories will be served

related: You were warned never to push Carrie to the limits

Tags: farewell letter · fired · fun with malapropisms · Washington state

Daddy’s little smartass

August 16th, 2009 · 47 Comments

Nick in Florida was in his car one day, when he “pulled up at a light, looked to my left, and immediately started laughing.” He quickly pulled out his iPhone, snapped a photo, then get stepped on the gas before daddy dearest could get out and beat the crap out of him.

I'm sorry Dad, Chelsea :)

Meanwhile, Lisa in Maryland spotted this in front of a small computer store near her office.

My Dad said change the sign so...I did :P

Sigh. Children are such a blessing!

related: and pull up your sign

Tags: car · Florida · kids · Maryland · Moms & Dads · smartass · smiley

A new twist on the walk of shame

August 13th, 2009 · 126 Comments

Ah, college. While living in an all-female dorm might reduce some types of conflicts…

ah, college

ah, college

You also get…this. Explains Hannah in Pullman, Washington: “I live in an all-girls dorm, and guys aren’t allowed to use the bathrooms in the hall. The rule is they are supposed to be escorted out into the lobby…which is a apparently too long of a walk for some people.”

Urine in bottles thrown out windows is disgusting. Please escort male guests to the lobby to use the restroom. Don't make someone else clean up your guest's urine.

related: (it wasn’t me)

Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · piss · roommates · sex sex sex · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary

Textbook Dmitri

August 12th, 2009 · 184 Comments

K, so Court in Michigan met this guy out at a bar. He seemed harmless enough, but Court knew right he wasn’t her type. Still, she didn’t have the heart to give him a flat-out “no” when he asked for her number. (She couldn’t give him a fake one, either, ’cause he the did the “dial his number into the phone and call” thing.)

Says Court: “The first time he called, I talked to him and decided right then I definitely wasn’t interested.” By the end of the conversation, she figured he’d gotten the message…but then he kept calling. And then, texting. When she didn’t respond, Court says, “I assumed he’d take the hint…but I’m not too sure he did.” Um, yeah, you could say that.

Fine, be a bitch then!

related: Not a match

Tags: casual sexism · just not that into you · Michigan · oh no you didn't · spurned lover · text message · unsolicited feedback

The bathroom-stall booger epidemic

August 11th, 2009 · 142 Comments

Who knew? Apparently, every office has at least one person with an insatiable need to spread the contents of their nose on the wall.

From Florida:

Hey Boogermeister, This isn't a gas station in Hazzard County; this is a place of work. How about blowing your nose in a tissue like most evolved humans, instead of picking it and wiping it all over the place? Your cooperation is much appreciated.

From Georgia:

The Wall — Good For: Holding up the Ceiling. Not Good For: Wiping your boogers

From a hospital (!) in Washington, D.C.

Is this your booger collection? If so please consider taking it down and back home with you (or are you walls simply too full of your snot by now?). It is clear that you have some personal hygiene self-respect issues that you need to resolve. Please seek appropriate counseling and follow up.

[Read more →]

Tags: bathroom · grow up · hygiene · most popular notes of 2009 · nose-picking · office · that's disgusting

Why Facebook is sooo gonna get you fired

August 10th, 2009 · 163 Comments

Even more dangerous than friending your parents on Facebook?  Friending a) your boss and b) the cubicle-mate you kinda can’t stand.

Exhibit a)
facebook is soooo gonna get your ass fired

Exhibit b)

Whoops! Forgot I friended you!

Exhibit c)

get off facebook, por favor

And Exhibit d) (via “the Internet”)

facebook is sooo gonna get your ass fired

related: Busted by facebook

extra credit: Study says Facebook is like, totally ruining your life …and gonna get you fired [mashable]

Tags: Facebook · most popular notes of 2009 · office · oh snap