Entries from August 2009
Based on this Valentine — found by Matthew at his share house in London — I am citing Jane with a serious “misuse of mixtape” violation. (And “by the way,” talk about burying the lead!)
Jane, minxes like you are what keep the Seth Cohen/Landry Clarks of the world pining away for the unattainable Summer Roberts/Tyra Collettes of the world instead of making a go of it with the smart, punky, emotionally available girl with cute glasses who is so clearly the better choice. I reserve judgment on Gareth only because this note was found abandoned in a share house he no longer lives in, rather than being pressed into a scrapbook somewhere. Let’s hope he’s moved on from his infatuation with this unemployed little cock-tease.
related: Textbook Dmitri
Tags: burying the lead · have a nice day · heart · mean girls · signed with love
Sarah in San Francisco convinced her friend Tim to take a photo of this note, the third in a series of progressively sterner notes that has appeared in his office restroom.
Writes Sarah: “I am a fan of, inter alia, the fact that the author ‘buries the lead’ in the p.s. in the middle; the phrase ‘do not leave with the toilet paper,’ as if it’s something you pick up at a bar and take home before the beer goggles wear off; the statement that toilet paper ‘belongs to the public,’ like the state’s natural resources; and of course, the threat to make the perpetrator pay…and more.”
Meanwhile, this note from Jen in Richmond, B.C. is both more specific and more puzzling.
I mean, subbing paper towels for TP, I understand…you gotta do what you gotta do when your rations run out. But drying your hands with toilet paper? Really, comrades?
related: five approaches to TP maintenance
Tags: not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · stealing · toilet paper
K, so, we’ve all seen a million notes like this…
(Check out that sad little orphan S!)
…but it actually takes a real mother to poke a hole in that logic.
related: Your mother doesn’t work here. Or here. Or here.
Tags: Moms & Dads · p.s. · signed with love · smiley · Your mother doesn't... · your/you're
This note, from Michelle in Denver, displays the remarkable lengths that some people will go to avoid confrontation.
“This bright-green gem wasn’t the only priceless thing visible,” Michelle says. “On the cubicle wall closest to the refrigerators was a camera…and it was actually connected to the computer and recording a live feed. This is why you don’t steal from the fridge when you work for a multimedia corporation!”
related: ABP on the V8
Tags: Denver · food · have a nice day · message to all intended for one · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · smiley
Are you enjoying the last few weeks of swimmin’ pool season, kids? Tom in Fayetteville, Arkansas was…until he saw the 11th commandment posted nearby.
And if that doesn’t make you want to suit up and dive in…
related: Maybe “no teenagers” would have been simpler
Tags: swimming pool · that's unsanitary
Alexandra in Renton, Washington received this invitation from a former supervisor at a hospital. “Rumors had been circulating that she and another supervisor had a personality clash, and then recently an e-mail was distributed indicating that her position had been terminated.”
The invitation gets off to a roaring start with the mention of “12 years, the first ten of them terrific,” and the “come hear all about it” seems to portend some seriously juicy trash-talking. Says Alexandra: “I wouldn’t miss this party for the world.”
related: You were warned never to push Carrie to the limits
Tags: farewell letter · fired · fun with malapropisms · Washington state
Nick in Florida was in his car one day, when he “pulled up at a light, looked to my left, and immediately started laughing.” He quickly pulled out his iPhone, snapped a photo, then get stepped on the gas before daddy dearest could get out and beat the crap out of him.
Meanwhile, Lisa in Maryland spotted this in front of a small computer store near her office.
Sigh. Children are such a blessing!
related: and pull up your sign
Tags: car · Florida · kids · Maryland · Moms & Dads · smartass · smiley
Ah, college. While living in an all-female dorm might reduce some types of conflicts…
You also get…this. Explains Hannah in Pullman, Washington: “I live in an all-girls dorm, and guys aren’t allowed to use the bathrooms in the hall. The rule is they are supposed to be escorted out into the lobby…which is a apparently too long of a walk for some people.”
related: (it wasn’t me)
Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · piss · roommates · sex sex sex · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary
K, so Court in Michigan met this guy out at a bar. He seemed harmless enough, but Court knew right he wasn’t her type. Still, she didn’t have the heart to give him a flat-out “no” when he asked for her number. (She couldn’t give him a fake one, either, ’cause he the did the “dial his number into the phone and call” thing.)
Says Court: “The first time he called, I talked to him and decided right then I definitely wasn’t interested.” By the end of the conversation, she figured he’d gotten the message…but then he kept calling. And then, texting. When she didn’t respond, Court says, “I assumed he’d take the hint…but I’m not too sure he did.” Um, yeah, you could say that.
related: Not a match
Tags: casual sexism · just not that into you · Michigan · oh no you didn't · spurned lover · text message · unsolicited feedback
Who knew? Apparently, every office has at least one person with an insatiable need to spread the contents of their nose on the wall.
From a hospital (!) in Washington, D.C.
[Read more →]
Tags: bathroom · grow up · hygiene · most popular notes of 2009 · nose-picking · office · that's disgusting