My condolences on your birthday

September 16th, 2009 · 116 comments

Daniel is Montreal says his dear grandmother sent him this card in the mail for his birthday. The front of the card (which didn’t scan very well) says: It is not what is visible on the surface but what is deep inside that sustains us.

Well, says Daniel, “that and guilt.”

Hope I get to see the both of you before the year is over. Love, Grandma

related: Dear Grandma — thanks, I guess; How I “did” my grandma

FILED UNDER: birthday · Grandma · guilt trip · Montreal · old folks · signed with love


116 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Canthz_B bang

    Sounds like something you’d place in a casket.

    Sep 16, 2009 at 8:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   se

      You would tell a recently deceased person that you hope to see them by the end of the year?

      Sep 17, 2009 at 10:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   aaa bang

      Daniel knows about the seance plan.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 11:06 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   T imo® bang

      Is that the Layaway plan?

      Sep 17, 2009 at 12:23 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I have always been a big fan of the Pray as you go plan.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 4:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Canthz_B bang

      ROTFL

      I was referring to the card in its pre-personalized state.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 7:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   TheOldSchool

      CB, I believe you should have said: “in its pre-personalized province.”

      Sep 17, 2009 at 7:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Canthz_B bang

      I’m still optimistic about annexing Quebec, TOS.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 7:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Isn’t that under a Rent to own contract?

      Sep 17, 2009 at 8:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Canthz_B bang

    At first I read that as “…see the back of you…” and was thinking to myself: Now that’s a fine how do you do!

    Sep 16, 2009 at 8:39 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Sean

      That is exactly what I thought it said.

      Sep 16, 2009 at 8:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Neeners

      Me too! I was wondering who died.

      Did she put a $5 bill in for a present? I can see why she hasn’t seen him for awhile.

      Sep 16, 2009 at 8:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Clarissa

      What?! It doesn’t say that?

      Sep 16, 2009 at 8:48 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Kelly

      CB, people say that to me all the time, but that’s because of my fantastic ass.

      Sep 16, 2009 at 9:25 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Canthz_B bang

      That’s one splendid donkey, Kelly…but I’ve seen better rears!

      Love, Grandma! ;-)

      Sep 16, 2009 at 9:38 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Kelly

      Thanks Grandma. That brings to mind lovely memories of when I was 10 and you told me that I had giant feet, like a man.

      Sep 16, 2009 at 10:12 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   pope suburban

      That’s me as well. Which I suppose would have been exceptionally passive-aggressive, inviting him over just to complain that he wasn’t gone soon enough because he’s just such a rude guest, and so ungrateful, &c.

      Sep 16, 2009 at 10:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   TheOldSchool

      Kelly, since you were only 10, you hadn’t yet developed, so she couldn’t say anything about your sweet tits or delectable ass. She was working with what she had. Cut her some slack.

      How BIG are your feet?

      Sep 16, 2009 at 10:26 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   Kelly

      I’m incredibly disturbed right now, TOS.

      Since you asked so nicely — my feet are a perfectly acceptable size ten.

      Sep 16, 2009 at 10:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   Canthz_B bang

      Which reminds me, it’s been decades since I’ve seen a Don Martin cartoon in M*A*D Magazine.
      I’m off to find a website! :-D

      Sep 16, 2009 at 10:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   TheOldSchool

      Kelly, see? She wasn’t being mean. She just knew if she said said your tits were hot, you’d call bullshit, so, in her moment of befuddlement, she looked down and said the first thing that popped into her head. She was probably kicking herself later.

      Sep 16, 2009 at 10:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.12   Canthz_B bang

      That’s some feat of self-flagellation (kicking herself) in a family with feet like that, TOS!

      Sep 16, 2009 at 11:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.13   TheOldSchool

      CB, something tells me Kelly is misremembering her memory. Maybe her grandma said her feet were a ten. Or maybe all the men in the family had lovely, lady-like feet. Grandma wasn’t one to take the mickey out of her grandchildren. She saved the barbs for that no-good, waste-of-meatspace son-in-law.

      Sep 16, 2009 at 11:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.14   TheOldSchool

      Anyway, it all worked out in the end. It always does.

      Sep 16, 2009 at 11:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.15   Canthz_B bang

      Indeed, as long as one learns to Stride-Rite.

      Sep 16, 2009 at 11:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.16   Amanda

      Wait, wait, it doesn’t say “back”? What DOES it say then? I thought that was it…

      Sep 17, 2009 at 6:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.17   Flaboy2425

      Daniel’s split personality must have gotten to grandma. She wants to see both of him before the end of the year. Well, that’s nice. She could have chosen sides, I guess.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 8:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Neeners

    Only thing missing in this birthday card from grandma is a paragraph about all her physical ailments and how she may pass on to the other side before she sees him. By the way Happy Birthday!

    Sep 16, 2009 at 8:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Clarissa

    And here is some inherited guilt!
    Happy Birthday! \o/

    Sep 16, 2009 at 8:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Naomi

    How is this passive aggressive? It would be if she said “before my life is over” but “before the year is over”? A request for a visit within the next three months isn’t that extreme.

    Sep 16, 2009 at 8:46 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Neeners

      It is the subtle grandma technique. Very implied that he has lapsed in his duties as a good grandson. She’s so weak she can’t even go get a real birthday card for cripes sake! Daniel go visit your grandma!

      Sep 16, 2009 at 8:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   bowloftoast bang

      You really have to read the full text of the card to pry your way into Grandma’s process…

      “It is not what is visible on the surface but what is deep inside that sustains us.” translates to ‘Even though you haven’t visited in two years, I know you haven’t forgotten your poor, feeble, dying Grandma. As you can plainly see, I haven’t forgotten you.’

      “May your soul be tranquil like the stillness of the ocean floor untouched by the turmoil above” roughly equates to ‘May this card’s subtle message slowly churn in your mind like so many needles, and may you be haunted by images of Grandma lying in the bathtub with a string tied to the nearby toaster. I hope when you finally decide to visit, it’s not too late.’

      Then, finally, the handwritten ultimatum seals the deal – with love.

      Either that, or Grandma forgot her meds and just grabbed the first card at Hallmark with a nice picture on it.

      Sep 16, 2009 at 9:40 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   MAMARILLA2 bang

    What country is she from?…Is is one of those where it is bad luck to wish happiness for someone so if the spirits hear you they will not bring bad luck and sorrow to the person?…or maybe she just has a BA in guilt.

    Sep 16, 2009 at 8:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Surly Dave

    Go see your grandma, she misses you, you bastard.

    Sep 16, 2009 at 8:56 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   BlackMarketBeagle

      Team Grandma!

      Sep 17, 2009 at 6:54 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Kayley

      I kinda agree, but what if he doesn’t have the money to go see her? Like if he lives in Washington D.C. and she lived in California and he can’t afford a plane ticket.

      Sep 18, 2009 at 9:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   GK bang

      I love how, even in the midst of writing a comment speculating about how far apart two people might live, you still couldn’t get your imagination outside of one country. :-D

      Sep 21, 2009 at 7:11 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   MelissaF

    Typical grandma card. I thought everyone got this note in their bday cards??!!

    Sep 16, 2009 at 8:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Kelly

    As long as the check clears, I don’t care what the hell Grandma writes in the card!

    Sep 16, 2009 at 9:13 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   matt blank

    FYI It took me a minute but it says “…see the both of you…”
    Grandma probably had this card sitting around and instead of running out to get a new one just said “Shit that kid doesn’t give a crap about me. Why should I?”

    Sep 16, 2009 at 9:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Ok…Now it makes sense…I thought for a minute that he lived in her house and she wanted him to leave very soon.

      Sep 16, 2009 at 9:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   notolaf

      You say that, but my Grandma recycled cards. You were supposed to always sign them at the bottom so that bit could be cut off before the cards were re-signed and sent off. True survivor of the Depression.

      Sep 16, 2009 at 10:25 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   IrishGuilt bang

      they had hallmark cards in the depression? that doesn’t sound like deprivation.

      ‘dear son, here’s my last grain of cornmeal. may it sustain you as your love never sustained me.
      love, Maaaaaaa’

      haggard-faced, haunted-eyed lolcat in dungarees on the front.

      Sep 19, 2009 at 4:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   dpiercy85

    i’ll call for you, what’s her number?

    Sep 16, 2009 at 9:20 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   harmonicpies

    At least she didn’t include a gift of stationary complete with self-addressed, stamped envelopes.

    Sep 16, 2009 at 10:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   TheOldSchool

    I’m with Grandma.

    She sends a lovely card, expresses her gentle feelings of affection to her beloved grandson.

    So what does he do?

    Being the no-good, feeble-minded twat that he is — he projects his own warped and sinister mentality onto her, convinces himself that he’s a victim, and then the sick little freak slinks over to his scanner and rats out his own sweet grandma to PAN.

    Daniel: piss off. You’re a simpering weasel.

    PS What is deep inside you, Daniel? Grandma’s trying to help you, even if you’re too self-absorbed to see that.

    Sep 16, 2009 at 10:10 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Daniel

      OMG. I just thought the tone of the card was passive aggressive and it was funny, so I posted it for the amusement of other PAN readers. I saw her last in June and will be going again in February. I live in Montreal, and she lives in California, so it’s a long trip and it’s incredibly expensive to go at Christmas time.

      Christ!

      Sep 17, 2009 at 7:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   aaa bang

      Daniel:

      Please read comment 20.1.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 8:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Daniel

      lol oops

      Sep 17, 2009 at 8:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   aaa bang

    Translation:

    I’m trying to hide my disappointment in your lack of communication under a Hallmark Zen facade. It’s not working too well. Please call me, Daniel. I promise I won’t give you a fruitcake.

    Sep 16, 2009 at 11:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   The Real Meh, The Great Meh, The Blue Meh

    I wager that Daniel would go see grandma more often if the whole conversation didn’t consist of “I never get to see you anymore”, ” You never come and see me”, or “Why don’t you come and visit anymore?”

    Sep 17, 2009 at 12:10 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   T imo® bang

      “…Did you know Ethel Cravitz died? You remember her she gave you cowboy boots when you were three. Oooh my back aches, I probably have back cancer or my gall bladder regrew into a mutant thing and I will have to have surgery. Let’s look at old dried up pictures of dead people you don’t know…”

      Sep 17, 2009 at 12:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    You can always tell when someone is just doing their time at a greeting card company until their 17th manuscript re-write is accepted by a publisher.

    Sep 17, 2009 at 12:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Susan

    I’m glad someone explained what it actually says. I really couldn’t see past “back of you”. In fact, without Daniel’s input, I still wonder if it does say that… (hilarious if it does!)

    Sep 17, 2009 at 2:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Daniel

      No, it actually does say “both of you”. She loves my husband, too.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 7:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   itdb

    If it doesn’t say ‘see the back of you’ I can’t see whats wrong with this card. A grandmother expressing the desire to see her grandchild? What a bitch.

    Daniel should be ashamed of himself for neglecting his poor sweet old granny.

    Sep 17, 2009 at 5:38 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Daniel

      You guys… I’m seriously starting to feel like I have to get in the car and make the 36-hour drive straight to go see her.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 7:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   park rose bang

    Just to make things current again.

    Sep 17, 2009 at 6:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Innana

    This post and comments tell me more about people’s attitudes toward their family than about the grandmother. I hope she never finds out her card was the source of so much scorn. This post is the passive-aggressive work of hostility. There was an earlier post of somebody’s mother’s card that said she understood he couldn’t come for Easter. He was all bent out of shape, too. I guess the only “healthy” thing is for relatives to ignore you, right?

    Sep 17, 2009 at 9:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   aaa bang

      The “healthy” thing is to realize that a lot of people on here are being facetious. :D

      Sep 17, 2009 at 11:01 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Clarissa

      Why so serious?!

      Sep 17, 2009 at 1:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   T imo® bang

      Hey Sarah Jessica Parker why the long face?

      Sep 17, 2009 at 1:45 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Timo, quit horse-ing around.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 4:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   T imo®

      Hey isn’t that Mare McCheese?

      Sep 17, 2009 at 5:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   Canthz_B bang

      Timo, for a second I thought you were mooning Innana!
      Then I saw that you were just trotting out an equestrian line and I felt saddled with guilt.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 8:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.7   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Rein in that guilt Cb and lets hit that dusty trail, We can ride out into the sunset like real heros if we can rustle up some new rope tricks.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 8:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   bingo

    Everyone knows kids don’t read cards, anyway. They just rip ‘em open and look for money. What are the odds that THIS would be the one he would choose to read? Perhaps there was no check inside, which prompted the reading of the card. Serves you right, Daniel. You probably have been getting condolences on your birthday for years!

    Sep 17, 2009 at 9:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Daniel

      ♫ You don’t even know me. So why do you judge my life ♫ lol

      Sep 17, 2009 at 7:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   The Mayor of Bethville

    Clearly, grandma had a drawer full of sympathy cards and didn’t feel like gassing up the sedan to head to the Hallmark store. It’s an open and shut case of granny laziness.

    Sep 17, 2009 at 9:54 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Geek Goddess

      It’s not laziness, it is just that Uncle George hid her car keys last time he was there, and she hasn’t been able to find them yet. She hasn’t caught on to his trick, as she is generally losing it, and just thinks she misplaced them, even though she has already checked inside all of the kitchen appliances (she checked inside the microwave three times). And after he hid her keys, he wrote checks to the neighbors, to cover the cost of replacement garbage cans, and the vet bills for Fluffy, next door, who used to have a habit of napping on the front walk, but now refuses to leave her basket in the neighbor’s kitchen, and twitches every time she hears a Buick Century start up.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 2:06 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   oi bang

    Team grandma.
    I don’t see any guilt trip here. She wants to see him. What’s wrong with that?
    Just because it’s written that does n0t mean it’s PA.
    If Daniel’s been ignoring grandma for good part of his life and this simple message induces guilt in him, then that’s a different story altogether.

    Sep 17, 2009 at 9:55 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Grizzly

    Unless there’s a lot of back story here I don’t see any sort of guilt trip. It’s up front that she wants to see him.

    Sep 17, 2009 at 10:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Rachet

    My grandmother once sent me a sympathy card with my birthday money. Her explanation was “I know it’s a Your Mother Is Dead card but I thought the picture was pretty. And you ARE always in my thoughts.” I had to keep it. I thought it was very sweet in a Grandma Is Losing It kinda way.

    Sep 17, 2009 at 10:10 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      My grandmother spoke not a word of English…She had boxes of mixed cards, the kind you get from the school kids trying to raise money…If she liked the picture, you got it. It didn’t matter to her what it said or what it was meant for….and she never asked.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 9:06 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Canthz_B bang

      So, ‘Rilla, I bet that was a lovely Bat Mitzvah card you got for your wedding, huh?

      Sep 17, 2009 at 9:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I think it was more of “I hope you are feeling better soon”.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 9:35 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   thrall38

    To me this says she rummaged through her stash of greeting cards looking for a birthday card and only found one for condolences. Good enough.

    Sep 17, 2009 at 10:12 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Gandalf

    Daniel sounds like a douche barrel.
    He should be grateful to still have a grandmother. I would gladly accept a sympathy card from my grandmother on my birthday. Of course the fact that she’s been dead for over 20 years might creep me out.
    In the twilight of my grandmother’s life, my family wanted to put her in a “home”. I took her in, and took care of her despite already having a new marriage and finishing my degree, and work on my plate.
    Visiting her once in a while seems like a small price to pay for a grandmother’s love and affection.
    Besides, he might convince her to change the will!

    Sep 17, 2009 at 10:50 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   aaa bang

      What Daniel isn’t telling us is that “Grandma” is really a strange old man who attached himself to his family when he saw him one day at the grocery store. See, this isn’t Daniel being a douche barrel, it’s Daniel publicly expressing his frustration at this bizarre gender-bending stalker in the most polite way he possibly can.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Daniel

      Dear Gandalf,

      I am truly sorry for being a douche barrel and hope that the poison I leak into the air when I exhale hasn’t caused you too much harm. As an independently wealthy tycoon, I am sure you can’t fathom the difficulty someone like me has in finding the time and money to fly to the opposite end of the continent every three months to see his family. I hope that you find some solace in the fact that I saw my grandmother in June and have another trip booked for February. While I understand that your New Year’s revelry will be ruined by the knowledge that my poor old grandma will be ringing in 2010 in the absence of her most beloved grandson, I hope that you nevertheless understand that I don’t have the means to pay the exorbitant fees that airlines charge for holiday season travel from Montreal to California.

      Love always,
      Daniel

      Sep 17, 2009 at 8:09 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Canthz_B bang

      I think it’s hilarious that people would have a note posted on this site without having a clue as to the likely nature of the comments it will inspire.
      That they invariably show up to defend themselves against the jokes, and even true opinions, of total strangers just adds icing to the cake…birthday cake of course!

      Sep 17, 2009 at 8:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Did you remember to send the condolences card with the $5.00 check inside?

      Sep 17, 2009 at 9:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.5   Daniel

      Dear Canthz B,

      I was trying to be passive aggressive in my own response, and am very sorry that I failed.

      Very sorry.

      xxx
      Daniel

      Sep 17, 2009 at 9:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.6   Canthz_B bang

      And done so yet again. *sigh*

      Sep 17, 2009 at 10:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.7   Gandalf

      The douche barrel doth protest too much methinks…

      Sep 18, 2009 at 10:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.8   GK bang

      Hey Daniel, what are your thoughts on tipping waitresses? Do you always tip them 20% of the bill, as is their natural right? Or are you a scumbag?

      Sep 21, 2009 at 7:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   RP

    This seems awfully mild. This must be one of those things where you have to know the person to know what tone they were probably writing the note in. The text by itself is fine but maybe grandma is always saying this in a ‘woo is me’ tone of voice.

    OK, this is off topic, but are posts disappearing off of this web site? What happened to the one about the grant?

    Sep 17, 2009 at 12:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Frond

      I’ve seen a few occasions where posts were temporarily removed after it was found that not enough personal information had been censored in the original image. The posts were edited and some of the comments removed to help protect the privacy of those involved. Considering that people in the grant post were leaving comments with the note writer’s full name and links to her facebook profile, that was probably what happened this time too.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 1:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   Daniel

      The lack of “happy birthday” anywhere on this birthday card doesn’t strike you as a bit passive-aggressive?

      Sep 17, 2009 at 8:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I’m thinking the guilt grandma goes more for the woe that the woo. They live for the passive-aggressive. It adds so much to the martyr complex. Next stop- sainthood.

      Sep 18, 2009 at 2:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   panote for panotes

    How the fuck hard would it be to post more than one picture a day? Jesus this site is tedious.

    Sep 17, 2009 at 1:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Geek Goddess

      Probably a lot harder than finding another site on the internet. Well, at least on my computer. I just click on a button or link, and they come up. It keeps me amused for hours.

      *Should be doing something other than being amused for hours by the internet*

      Sep 17, 2009 at 2:12 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   *

      no kidding, this site used to be fun, with at least a couple notes a day. Now, we’re lucky if we get one note during the week, and apparently weekends are now off days. Time for her to hand over the reins to someone else, as she has clearly lost interest.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 3:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   GhostWriter bang

      Screw you guys! I’m guessing that my email campaign to reduce the number of notes has finally worked. There’s nothing worse than taking a few days off and having literally a dozen notes to catch up with.

      If the email didn’t work, I was going to hold a rally on the Mall. Yes, of course I was going to clean up afterwards!

      Sep 17, 2009 at 3:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.4   anglophile bang

      I seriously doubt empirical data will hold out your theory that there used to be “at least a couple notes a day”, *. I have been reading this blog since June 2007, and it’s always been about one post per day, only occasionally two, and frequent incidences of no new notes for several days.

      Perhaps you are confused and thinking of icanhascheezburger.com.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 4:21 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.5   Geek Goddess

      ‘glo, I think you misunderstood *. They said that “Now, we’re lucky if we get one note during the week…”, suggesting that their friends, coworkers and room mates are just not stepping up to the plate and leaving PA notes for them any more. This is directly due to this site and the exposure of note writers to the cold winds of cyberspace, leading to a marked downturn in PA communications in most jurisdictions. It is possible that these people are redirecting their frustrations to face-to-face interactions, but in general we are seeing a decrease in over-all units of PA. And now * has nothing to read.

      *wanders off to read something else*

      Sep 17, 2009 at 4:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.6   anglophile bang

      Well, either way, GG, it’s a sad state of affairs. I mean, when you put all your entertainment dollars into one basket, you expect more payoff, I suppose.

      What’s that? This site is free? Huh.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 5:04 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.7   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Just thinking, Maybe we only get a post a day or so to make us more appreciative of the ones we do get…I mean, we have to work harder to get those prime bits of word play out there. Working harder to earn the word of the day.

      Sep 17, 2009 at 10:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.8   itdb

      Quality > quantity!

      Sep 19, 2009 at 6:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Geek Goddess

    Oops. Gigglebrax fail. Feel free to not thumb me, and mock me as well.

    Sep 17, 2009 at 2:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   T imo® bang

      I shant finger or moque you GG. :razz: :wink:

      Sep 17, 2009 at 2:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Will you finger me instead? :oops:

      Sep 17, 2009 at 10:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   GhostWriter bang

    It all started when Daniel’s parents forgot to attend the Mass that was offered in honor of Gramps (now deceased.) That turned Grandma into a home-wrecking bitch. She keeps blaming Judith, Daniel’s mom, but it was really Daniel Sr., her own son, who forgot to mark the calendar. Grandma keeps acting like Daniel’s parents are constantly arguing, or getting a divorce, and that she feels so sorry for the poor abused Daniel.

    “Why don’t you and your father come live with me until this whole thing gets finalized?”

    “What whole thing?”

    “Oh, you know- the turmoil; the tumultuous waves of the gathering storm. Your parent’s are breaking up, Daniel. It’s not healthy for you to be in the middle of that.”

    “Grandma, there’s no turmoil, everything’s fine, I’m wanna finish my Senior year here in Franklin. Nobody’s getting divorced.”

    “They’re just telling you that, Daniel! Sometimes things look really calm, but way, way down deep, they are a mess of angry tension. Why don’t you and your father just visit for a long weekend? You can stay in his bedroom with him, in the top bunk. It’s the same as when he left me- his clothes are still in his closet. At least consider trying it out- you’ll love the carolling during the Holidays…”

    “Well Grandma, I’ll think about it…talk to Dad, OK?”

    Sep 17, 2009 at 3:42 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Bob Loblaw

    I bet the card smells like urine and Depends……

    Sep 17, 2009 at 4:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Depends on what, the time of day…

      Sep 17, 2009 at 8:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   MAMARILLA2 bang

    At least he gets a card. All my kids get from Grandpa is the check…

    Sep 17, 2009 at 8:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   sandra

    Wow. That’s freakin’ creepy.

    Sep 17, 2009 at 10:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Rachel

    I’m wondering which bereaved person got the cheerful birthday card that Grandma sent when she mixed these up.

    Sep 17, 2009 at 11:31 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Tammy

    okay Daniel, so your submission qualifies for this site, you win.
    Now go visit your grandmother.

    Sep 18, 2009 at 5:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Madcap bang

    Daniel, are you my son from the future? That looks exactly like something I would get from my mother-in-law. Even the handwriting is the same.

    Do we have flying cars yet?

    Sep 18, 2009 at 2:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   evilgenius bang

    team daniel.

    it’s not like he doesn’t visit, but for her he doesn’t visit enough. i guess that note was a little grandma drama to get him to go again.

    Sep 18, 2009 at 3:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Shelley Sidle

    This guy’s granny has NOTHING on my grandma. I wish I still had it so I could share it with you all, but I once received a birthday card that contained the requisite guilt-trip for not visiting her (hey, her son moved us across the country, not me!) and then she proceeded to tell me the things I was doing wrong and why I wasn’t successful like my brother. No birthday $$, since that was mentioned in a post above.
    But I love my grandmother & still talk to her, and we aren’t enemies or anything, lest you all get the wrong idea. OH!!!….. but when I was a teenager, I steamed open my brother’s Xmas card, just out of curiousity…and the check she sent him was more than twice the one she sent me (favoritism anyone?). Funny, funny little old lady…. And I do still love her and her moody, quirky ways and she just turned 91 in August!!

    Sep 21, 2009 at 11:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Okay, so you love your Granny, What about your brother…Any hidden resentment there?

      Sep 27, 2009 at 12:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Lisa

    Oh my word, I got one just like that from my grandma about a year ago. But I think it was “I hope to get to see my great-grandchild again someday.”
    I about spit my drink out..

    Sep 28, 2009 at 3:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   waiting for the rapture (and/or a thank you note)

    [...] related: my condolences on your birthday [...]

    Nov 5, 2009 at 6:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   pony girl

    Maybe she’s just really zen.

    Nov 6, 2009 at 6:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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