So much for that whole fasting thing…

September 27th, 2009 · 173 comments

Jen in Tallahassee, Florida found this posted on the fridge in her synagogue’s kitchen. “We’ve tried many things to prevent missing food from this refrigerator,” Jen says. “we’ve even installed a lock so that only certain people with keys can get into the refrigerator…and yet, the problem continues.”

A note from Adonai: I am watching! Do not eat items that are not yours. During Yom Kippur, past transgressions will be forgiven. Don't do it again!

related: the PANtheistic approach

FILED UNDER: God · heart · holiday spirit


173 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Joe

    ‘Adonai’ is Hebrew for ‘Lord’. Is the idea here that ‘God is watching’?

    Sep 27, 2009 at 8:08 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   thank you, captain obvious

      Wow, that’s an idea. I figured it was just a note from some old Jewish lady named Adonai!

      Sep 27, 2009 at 8:12 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   JetJackson

      The warning that appears before anything has been posted on PAN should include something like;

      When posting first ensure you write something with perfect grammar that is both intelligent and witty with reference to the subject matter or risk being vilified by the PAN community.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 7:20 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   flying fish

      Yes. God is watching you steal that hot pocket.
      Every time you steal a hot pocket, God kills a puppy.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 11:57 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      That food you stole was my unborn baby’s kosher meal for Yom Kippur..You should be so hungry.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 6:28 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Alyssa Myers

      No puppies were harmed in the making of this comment. LOL

      Oct 2, 2009 at 12:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Amanda

    Love it how everyone is signing Adoni.

    Also, how Adoni uses markers to convey messages.

    Sep 27, 2009 at 8:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Maas

      The marker I can understand, but I would have though He’d write on the wall.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   flying fish

      I always figured Him to be much more articulate than that note suggests.
      And succinct.
      (two of my favorite words by the way. ) oh, and taciturn. In fact the whole definition of taciturn is lovely:
      taciturn- temperamentally disinclined to talk.
      It’s just yummy.
      sorry, I’m in a mood

      Sep 28, 2009 at 3:59 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   anglophile bang

      A loquacious mood, huh?

      Sep 28, 2009 at 4:36 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Wade bang

      Mene mene tekel upharsin.

      ♥ Adonai

      Sep 28, 2009 at 6:00 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   flying fish

      mmmm, loquacious. lovely and delicious. another great word.
      oh, and yes.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 7:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   stephanie (bad mom)

    I seriously want to throttle the smartass who is afraid of starving to death.

    How long before that becomes a past, forgiven transgression?

    Sep 27, 2009 at 8:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   mystic_eye_cda

      Every year in the day(s) before Yom Kippur (New Year) you seek forgiveness for your transgressions against your fellow man and must forgive all transgressions by your fellow man against you, you also must forgive all debts. Once you have asked for forgiveness and more importantly forgiven all transgression you seek forgiveness from God.

      So any food stealing before this year’s Yom Kippur will be forgiven at Yom Kippur. Anything after that doesn’t have to be forgiven until next Yom Kippur more or less a year away (the Jewish calendar is a lunar based calendar so its never in step with the Julian calendar)

      Sep 27, 2009 at 8:55 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Kelly

      You could just become Catholic… then your sins will be forgiven as soon as you tell a priest about them.

      Sep 27, 2009 at 9:35 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   JetJackson

      I heard that Anglicans get a much better deal and all they have to do is ask for forgiveness and they will get it. Seems a bit more convenient as you don’t have to wait a year or go to confession. Suits the busy lifestyles that we lead today I guess… so the Anglicans have the competitive advantage until the Catholics come up with iConfess for iPhone.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 12:17 am   rating: 38  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   aaa bang

      Cool kids don’t believe in sin. :D

      Sep 28, 2009 at 12:32 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Orwellian

      There IS an app like that! It’s for sending prayers, not confessions, IIRC.

      I always assumed God would be running Linux.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 12:48 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Canthz_B bang

      FYI, don’t try the “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” defense in bankruptcy court.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 1:14 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   T imo® bang

      Yahweh running Linux for the win!!!

      L’shanah tovah tikatevu v’techatemu.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 8:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   analogeyser

      God don’ hafta run Linux !
      God’s server don’ crash

      God runs DOS 5.1….on a Z80 chip
      and it SCREAMS….(like a choir of fallen angels)

      Seymour Cray cries when God boots up
      Gates gets green wit’ envy
      Cause God never gets a BSOD

      And you know God’s always goin’ fo’ward….
      Cause God don’ EVER hafta back up !

      Don’ believe me…ask Holly Woodlawn downstream

      Sep 28, 2009 at 1:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   T imo®

      What would a washed up post Warhol, Puerto Rican tranny know about God’s isp?
      Lou Reed now he would know!

      Sep 28, 2009 at 2:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   flying fish

      Kelly:
      But Catholics have to pay retail and wear those stupid knee socks.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 2:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.11   analogeyser

      T imo,

      Was referring to Ms. Thang @ #11 downscreen, not to the NYC “Superstar” of 40-ish years ago…

      Yes, Old Lou might have a clue
      But Laurie-o’d be sure to know

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Faye

    Adonai is watching. He watches when you steal other people’s food. When you masturbate. When you masturbate on other people’s stolen food.

    He is always watching.

    Sep 27, 2009 at 8:14 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Frankie bang

      HA HA HA! Who wants to play soggy biscuit?

      Sep 27, 2009 at 10:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Canthz_B bang

      He knows if you are sleeping,
      He knows if you’re awake.
      He knows if you’ve
      been bad or good.
      So be good for goodness sake!

      Wait, that’s…oh, well…one myth is as good as another if it keeps folks in line, I suppose.

      Sep 27, 2009 at 11:18 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   T imo® bang

      Frankie your “biscuit” is always soggy! :razz:

      Sep 28, 2009 at 8:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      You can’t get no Nookie if you have a Limp Bizkit.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 11:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   pony girl bang

      Adonai is watching. He watches when you steal other people’s food. When you masturbate. When you masturbate on other people’s stolen food.

      He is always watching.

      Even if I have blinds?

      Oct 13, 2009 at 5:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   SARAH

    this is something that should be posted at the JCC where i work… haha

    Sep 27, 2009 at 8:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   biteme

    I dunno ..ever since I read “Thanx Sharon”..nothing has ever been quite as funny. *sigh* I think I peaked with that one and will never be able to achieve that kind of funny high again!!!! (so Jonesin’ : (

    Sep 27, 2009 at 8:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Frankie bang

      Don’t be closed minded! Read everything with an open mind and ye to shall find excellence. Remember that passive aggression hath no boundaries..

      THX ADONAI

      Sep 27, 2009 at 10:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Tina Ballerina

      Don’t you mean ‘Thx Sandra?’

      THX,
      TINA

      Sep 28, 2009 at 2:05 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   leftfoot

    Wait.. My Jewish grandma doesn’t live in Tallahassee.

    Sep 27, 2009 at 8:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Car RamRod

    It must be nice to be Jewish and be forgiven for everything once a year, kind of like a license to steal, especially if you happen to die shortly after yom kippur and don’t have time to rack up any sins.

    Sep 27, 2009 at 8:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Mary

      only sins against god are forgiven. For everything else you have to make amends before the end of the year or it gets you written in the book of life for a bad future.

      Sep 27, 2009 at 9:13 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   sialia

      Way to go, troll.

      Sep 27, 2009 at 9:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Frankie bang

      Tell your employer that you are Jewish. that is step #1. Step #2 set your google calendar to recognize jewish holidays… SET UP FOR LIFE! YEAH YEAH!

      Sep 27, 2009 at 10:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   beanster

      what if you die right before yom kippur after fully taking advantage?
      that would be the worst.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Amanda

    ^Car: Um, but xstians are forgiven ALL the time.

    Sep 27, 2009 at 8:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Car RamRod

      Only if they’re truly sorry. And thankfully, I’m not monotheistic, so I don’t even need to seek forgiveness for the evils I commit.

      Sep 27, 2009 at 8:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Frankie bang

      No, Christian’s are pretty much set up for life. We believe once saved, always saved. I could murder you in your sleep (and I’m planning to) and I’m still getting into heaven… It’s my religion though, and while I’m not pushing it on you I just have one question, Have you found Jesus Christ?

      Sep 27, 2009 at 10:09 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   tbunnyacox

      yes, because we all know that X is all loving. Praise Lord X!

      Sep 28, 2009 at 12:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   aaa bang

      HAIL SATAN.

      Erm, sorry, I just got caught up in the moment.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 12:28 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   Canthz_B bang

      Amanda, no one is forgiven for failing to Gigglebrax!

      Frankie, if they haven’t found Jesus Christ yet, might I suggest an Amber Alert? ;-)

      Sep 28, 2009 at 12:38 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   Kelly

      No worries, CB. He was behind the couch.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 12:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   Canthz_B bang

      Really? I thought He’d be found on the dashboard of a car in Alabama!

      Sep 28, 2009 at 1:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   aaa bang

      Nuh uh, Jesus is right here. Sometimes his hands glow in the dark…

      Sep 28, 2009 at 1:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   GK bang

      Frankie? Way off base on the murder thing. You might want to do some research…

      Now you’ve gone and made me post a non-snarky comment on passiveaggressivenotes.com! Why I oughta…!

      Sep 28, 2009 at 2:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.10   HappyNat

      Why is he off on the murder thing? Does the person have to be awake when you kill them (I admit that makes it more fun)? Or can you not be forgiven for murder? If not then god (the christian one) and jesus are pretty worthless and I’ve wasted a lot of my life giving priests blow jobs.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 7:46 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.11   T imo® bang

      There is always Goozer or Captain Crunch!

      Sep 28, 2009 at 8:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.12   Frankie bang

      There isn’t just one kind of Christian out there you know. And yes the Baptists do believe in once saved always saved.. That means that you cannot fall from God’s grace. Which means I’m buying a gun. :D

      p.s. Frankie has a vagina. Always has. I know the name makes it confusing. I’m sorry.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.13   GhostWriter bang

      Frankie says he has one, but I’ve never seen it.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 10:48 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.14   T imo® bang

      (s)he has a hot pocket.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 11:00 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.15   flying fish

      Frankie Has A Vagina would be a totally cool name for a band!

      Sep 28, 2009 at 2:58 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.16   T imo® bang

      I totally want to see that.. uhmm wait what were we talking about?

      Sep 28, 2009 at 3:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.17   MAMARILLA2 bang

      @9.15 That is a much cooler band name than Frankie goes to Hollywood.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 11:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   kate

    Hmm, only certain people have keys, and yet food is still disappearing, you say…veeeeeeeeery curious…

    Sep 27, 2009 at 8:56 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Beth

      You’d think that would narrow down the list of suspects, but you can’t forget about those co-workers who have artifacts allowing them to penetrate solid matter.

      …What? What do you mean, “TV’s not real”?? … Dammit.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 10:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   holly

    um… Amanda… it’s Christians.. not xstians… disgusted by anachronisms that take Christ out.. it’s not xmas, either..

    Btw…. love this site!

    Sep 27, 2009 at 8:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Amanda

      Okay, I will choose the right word next time to express my own faith. BTW, sentences have a beginning AND an end – using multiple .’s doesn’t equal a period, a comma, a dash, or anything other than stupidity.

      FWI, no offense, butI’m disgusted by people who don’t keep the grammar in language.

      Sep 27, 2009 at 9:04 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   organicgoddess

      Xian and Xmas are not designed to “X out” Christ as so many (inadequately educated) Xians seem to think. X (chi) is the Greek initial for Christos. X has been used as an abbreviation for Christ since the mid-16th century, according to the Oxford English Dictionary. So relax.

      Sep 27, 2009 at 9:30 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Kelly

      It’s too bad you don’t love good grammar, sounding like an educated human being, or gigglebraxing as much as you love this site.

      Sep 27, 2009 at 9:39 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   H2Ik

      Holly is correct in that it isn’t xmas. It’s Yule. The holiday got a name change after many of the Yule traditions were co-opted by early Christians to bring pagans to their ways. I guess the whole “convert or die” thing wasn’t practical all the time.

      Sep 27, 2009 at 9:46 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Frankie bang

      Umm… It’s not OMG either but that hasn’t stopped teens all over the world from sounding like uneducated damn sods. BTW, I love this site too. OMG! We’re like totally twinkies!

      Sep 27, 2009 at 10:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Canthz_B bang

      Exactly, Holly…er, I mean “echristactly”.

      Sep 27, 2009 at 11:20 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   aaa bang

      Wait, anachronism? As in error in chronology anachronism? Or the Society for Creative Anachronism?

      P.S. The whole of humanity isn’t out to get Christianity. Really, it isn’t. Most people just really couldn’t give a fuck.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 1:16 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   Canthz_B bang

      But the lions? The Colosseum?

      You act as if that’s not still happening!!!!

      Didn’t you hear that Walmart might use “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”!

      It’s a Christian-extermination plot I tell ya!

      Sep 28, 2009 at 2:03 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   GK bang

      I’m trying to figure out what “anachronism” was meant to be. “Abbreviation”? Not sure.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 2:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.10   Nobody

      No offense, but I’m disgusted by people who say “No offense” when they are about to say something they expect will offend someone.

      No offense, though.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 5:50 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.11   HappyNat

      Help! Help! I’m being repressed!

      Poor Holly and her imagined persecution. Maybe one day you can be a real martyr.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 7:51 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.12   anglophile bang

      I’m thinking in holly’s world anachronism=acronym. Not that that’s the right word either. I am disgusted by people who don’t use the dictonary/thesaurus set I gave them at xmas.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 8:05 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.13   aaa bang

      No offense, but I’m disgusted by every single person that ever was, is, or will be on the internet.

      No offense.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 8:47 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.14   Frankie bang

      Who is this No Offense you all keep talking to? I must have missed his message. :(

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:20 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.15   T imo® bang

      I have heard a voice in the wilderness to build a shrine to No Offense.

      Now we shall sing from the NoFx hymnal.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:27 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.16   Beth

      Let’s consider this a teaching opportunity, shall we?

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xmas

      So really, if you’re going to be mad, be mad at the ancient Greeks.

      Or the ancient Romans, since they’re the ones who executed XP, turning him into a martyr and everything, leading us to having holidays in XP’s honor that wind up being abbreviated in the Greek manner.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 11:09 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.17   mamason bang

      The Jew bastards killed Jesus then, and now they’re stealing food. See how everything always comes full circle, back to the Jews?

      Sep 28, 2009 at 1:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.18   T imo® bang

      They and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up are responsible for everything. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee *beady* eyes, and that smug look on his face. “Oh, you’re gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!”

      Sep 28, 2009 at 3:31 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   stfu

    Then perhaps you shouldn’t ever come to message boards and forums online because its full of people like that. I hope you waste your time correcting each and every grammatical error like a good school teacher.

    Sep 27, 2009 at 9:23 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   aaa bang

      You’ve wasted your time commenting because nobody has any clue who you’re replying to. D:

      Sep 28, 2009 at 12:59 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   GK bang

      Doesn’t seem like his time is very valuable, so I wouldn’t be concerned. Let’s turn that frown upside-down! :-D

      Sep 28, 2009 at 3:02 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   aaa bang

      BUT IT’S THE INTERNET. AND THE INTERNET IS DEADLY FUCKING SERIOUS.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 8:52 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Frankie bang

      stfu, what are you talking about? I’m so confused. What did your comment have to do with the note? My world is turning upside down now and nothing makes sense. I will go pray to the god of gigglebraxing now… Oh Adonai, why have thou forsaken me?!

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:22 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   much to my chagrin bang

      Because He knows you’ve been stealing food from the fridge.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 11:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   yo mama

    “FWI, no offense, butI’m disgusted by people who don’t keep the grammar in language.”

    Wait what’s FWI mean? FYI or FWIW?

    Sep 27, 2009 at 9:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   anglophile bang

      Followed With Ignorance?

      Foaming While Interpreting?

      Foisting Weird Ideas?

      Sep 27, 2009 at 10:21 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Frankie bang

      For White Interest?

      Follow With Integrity?

      Fuck With Intelligence?

      Sep 27, 2009 at 10:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Frankie bang

      scratch that….

      it is

      Follow With Intelligence

      and

      Fuck With Integrity

      Sep 27, 2009 at 10:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   Canthz_B bang

      Fighting With Idiots?

      Fornicating While Intoxicated (intoChristicated)?

      Sep 27, 2009 at 11:44 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   Geek Goddess

      Foiled While Ideating?

      Fractiles Who Interpret?

      Freakshows With Interns?

      Sep 28, 2009 at 1:15 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   aaa bang

      Flatulating Whilst Idling?

      Sep 28, 2009 at 1:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.7   Canthz_B bang

      Fumbled While Impugning?

      Filled With Indignation?

      Found Without Intelligence?

      Fraught With Inconsistencies?

      Sep 28, 2009 at 1:37 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.8   T imo® bang

      Fucking Wasted Intern?

      Flaccid Wiener Insertion?

      Flawed Wiccan Incantation?

      Found While Inflamed?

      Feynman Wick’s Interpretation?

      Sep 28, 2009 at 8:23 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.9   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Forgot what I….

      Sep 29, 2009 at 8:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   sialia

    Huh. I’ve never actually run into anyone who refers to God as Adonai while not praying – the Jews ’round here say Hashem.

    …Minor detail! I like that hypothetically starving smartass.

    Sep 27, 2009 at 9:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   david

    jews are the prime example that there is no such thing in all of human behavior as atonement.

    Sep 27, 2009 at 9:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   sialia

      Seriously, what is with the trolls on this post?

      Sep 27, 2009 at 9:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Canthz_B bang

      david, I never read that in any of your Psalms.
      You’ve changed!

      Sep 28, 2009 at 12:32 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   GK bang

      Indeed, sialia! How on earth could a Judaism-related post on a blog of our calibre attract a lot of trolls… I just can’t see how that could happen?!

      Sep 28, 2009 at 3:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Meesh

      Wait… people are getting touchy because we’re talking about religion?! I’m SHOCKED!

      Sep 28, 2009 at 8:16 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   aaa bang

      People haven’t gotten this pissy on posts that mention Jesus or were found in a church. Maybe the entire internet’s cat died today and they’re all still angry at the world.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 8:43 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.6   anglophile bang

      As a person whose cat is indeed dead, now I am just angry at you, aaa. :x

      Sep 28, 2009 at 8:52 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.7   GK bang

      They may be dead, but

      Sep 28, 2009 at 11:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.8   aaa bang

      My cat lived to be a bajillion before it died, so now I’m angrier at me than you could ever be. SO THERE.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 12:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.9   anglophile bang

      Oh, it’s always about you, you, you, isn’t it, aaa?

      When is it ever going to be my time?

      Sep 28, 2009 at 12:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.10   T imo® bang

      Oh woe and alack-a-day my three legged (she lost a leg in Iraq as a bomb disposal kitteh) developed a tumor probably from the dust she breathed in finding and attempting to rescue WTC victims. She was born on the Titanic. Now I am so very angry and offended but Kal El is angry at both of you.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 12:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Frankie bang

    El shaddai, el shaddai,
    El-elyon na adonia,
    Day to day It’s still my food,
    Guess you found out it was good.
    El shaddai, el shaddai,
    Erkamka na adonai,
    You stole it even though it was mine,
    El shaddai

    Sep 27, 2009 at 9:56 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   beanster

      frankie, i don’t know if i’m more shocked that you referenced that song or that i knew what song was being referenced.

      christian’s who think they are jewish FTW

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:19 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Frankie bang

      Swear to God it was the first thing that popped into my head when I read the note. I find myself thinking about Amy Grant at very inappropriate times these days. I wonder if that means anything.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:25 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   T imo® bang

      Whilst you and Mr were doing it even?? :shock: :lol:

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   Frankie bang

      ESPECIALLY then Timo… Especially then.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:43 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   HappyNat

      Angels watching over you and the Mr in the act? Niiiiiiiice. Kinky angels FTW.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 2:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   bokky bang

      “I find myself thinking about Amy Grant at very inappropriate times these days”. Don’t worry, Frankie, you’re not alone: I think you’ll find a whole generation of young Christian men did exactly that. Frequently.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 6:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   aaa bang

    Happy Pissy People/Not Giggglebraxing Day! :D

    Sep 28, 2009 at 12:31 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   bowloftoast bang

      Will there be cake?

      Sep 28, 2009 at 1:23 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   aaa bang

      NO. THIS IS A DAY FOR PISSY, UNHAPPY PEOPLE AND YOU GET NOTHING A BIG SLAB OF WANGST AND MISERY. D:<

      Sep 28, 2009 at 1:37 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Canthz_B bang

      No cake? Then I suppose fruit is out of the question. :-(

      An Oldie, but a Goodie.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 1:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Kelly

      The cake is a lie.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 3:00 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   GK bang

      Canthz_B, there are plenty of fruits on this website! :-D

      Sep 28, 2009 at 3:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Nobody

      All out of cake; all we have left is death. Sorry.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 5:48 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   Meesh

      “Wangst!” I love it! Only I’m going to pretend that it’s another term for blue balls.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 8:10 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   T imo® bang

      ” Man, I was making out with this hottie for an hour and I got wangst so bad! I could barely walk.”

      Sep 28, 2009 at 8:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.9   Gandalf

      I guess, because everyone is so virtuous, there shall be no cakes and ale.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 3:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.10   flying fish

      hmm, so cake is evil?
      get thee behind me, sweet, sugary goodness!

      Sep 28, 2009 at 5:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.11   JetJackson

      Izzard is Adonai! Two Emmies, 43 marathons in 50 days, stand-up comedy in three languages… look out Chuck Norris.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 6:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.12   flying fish

      Oh, yeah, Izzard would kick Norris’ ass. And, be quite stylish whilst doing so.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 11:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.13   ellehcor

      Izzard can kick Chuck Norris’ ass while wearing heels and full make-up (from his squirrel hole stash).

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Woman on the Verge bang

    Dear What if I am Starving to Death!

    If you were starving, you would be unable to stand, hold a pen, and comment on my note. I could forgive your impertinence, but I cannot forgive your lack of a question mark.

    Prepare to be smited.

    Love,

    Adonai

    Sep 28, 2009 at 6:16 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Shii

      I gotta say, it’s a very Jewish response

      Oct 10, 2009 at 8:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   park rose

    For most of its short shelf life, food had lived under the delusion that it was wanted and popular, desired by all; that it was a necessary part of everyone’s day to day. Little did it know that when it slipped out to stretch its legs one night, close to midnight, that it was only a matter of minutes before it was deemed missing, and it was only a matter of minutes before its formerly safe, cool haven was put under lock and key to prevent its return. Good riddance, said the kitchen crew who were tired of the messes that food left behind. As for the food, it went off in a huff and stewed in a rancid puddle of bitterness and rejection which ate it up from the inside until nothing was left.

    Sep 28, 2009 at 6:41 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Frankie bang

    Anytime you feel it necessary to put a lock on your refrigerator is absolutely THE moment you need to take a step back and take a good hard look at your life and ask WWAD?

    Sep 28, 2009 at 9:28 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   anglophile bang

      I’m pretty sure he would smite them. Smite them hard.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   bowloftoast bang

      WTFWAD??

      Sep 28, 2009 at 10:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      And in response, the food thief says, “Smite me.”

      Sep 28, 2009 at 12:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   Gandalf

      I could use a good smiting. Oh wait, I was thinking of something else. Nevermind

      Sep 28, 2009 at 3:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   T imo® bang

      Oh yeah I am going to smite you as the juice runs over your lips and down your chest…. I’ll smite you slow and rhythmically as you finger feed illict cake and and….. Uhmmmm what were we talking about I got a little side tracked?

      Sep 28, 2009 at 3:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   Frankie bang

      Damnit Timo we’ve talked about this before! I’ll throw you into the delousing chamber again… DON’T PUSH ME!

      Sep 28, 2009 at 3:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.7   flying fish

      ooooh, baby. Smite me. Smite me hard .

      Sep 28, 2009 at 6:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.8   Woman on the Verge bang

      Who knew that smiting could be this much fun?

      Sep 29, 2009 at 9:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Queen of the World

    Well it is painfully obvious WHO is stealing the food! The person/persons who are in charge of the keys. DUH!

    Sep 28, 2009 at 12:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   GhostWriter bang

      As a result of Ralph Nader’s safety campaign in the mid-70′s, modern refrigerators are now built with a hidden side-hatch, to allow trapped children to escape. Check it out- just sit in your fridge and close the door. Illuminated floor lights will indicate your path to the safety exit.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 1:38 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   anglophile bang

      Only vaguely related to this thread:

      My trunk popped open when I was driving the other day because the stuff I had back there shifted and hit the fancy-schmancy emergency exit handle. I almost lost my twelve pack of A&W!

      And I’m sure that “safety feature” is going to make it a lot harder for claw to give those girl scouts a ride home.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 1:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   Fish

      Yes- since the door is locked, it is painfully obvious that DOCTOR WHO is stealing the food.

      Sonic screwdrivers > keys.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 2:27 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   T imo®

      “trunk popped open”

      Aaaawwww yeah, gonna put my bike in your trunk!

      Sep 29, 2009 at 9:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I have too much junk in my trunk.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 8:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   mamason bang

    And Jesus wept… wait a minute… :-|

    Sep 28, 2009 at 1:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   jaywalke

    My lord FSM is always watching the refrigerator from his place in the Holy Tupperware.

    May you be touched by his noodly appendage.

    Sep 28, 2009 at 3:20 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Wade bang

      RAmen

      Sep 28, 2009 at 3:35 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   analogeyser

    Notice how Adonai completely avoids using or taking anything like a stand on the whole whoever/whomever thing

    Maybe not so omniscient ?

    Sep 28, 2009 at 9:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   CE

    Argh! Please stop! That name should only be spoken in prayer. the fact that a Jewish person write that note defiling G-d’s name makes me sick to my stomach.

    Sep 29, 2009 at 7:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   anglophile bang

      But, correct me if I’m wrong, it’s not God’s name. God’s name isn’t even God, if I understand correctly. You’re allowed to write his damn nickname.

      Of course, I could be wrong. For one, I’m a heathen, and for another, I get all my information off the Innernets.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 8:43 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Clarissa

      God, Deus, Dieux, Diós, Kami, Dio, Brahma… Adonai!

      There. Now I’m done.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 9:23 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   anglophile bang

      psst, Clarissa.

      You forgot Voldemort.

      ;)

      Sep 29, 2009 at 9:28 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   Clarissa

      Thank you, anglophile.

      God bless you.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 9:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.5   HappyNat

      That jewish god is so sensitive. If god gets pissed off because you write her name then he really needs to get thicker skin or a hobby. You should at least have to do some fun sinning to piss of god.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 10:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.6   unholyghost2003 bang

      Well YEAH HappyNat. We are talking Old Testament, ‘Let-Satan-fuck-with-Job’, Smiting God. Not the Christian, New Testament ‘Lets-keep-this-party-going-I’ll-make-wine’ God.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 10:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.7   oi bang

      so tell me one thing Happynat, is Jewish god she or he?

      Sep 29, 2009 at 10:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.8   Pers

      Sheesh, as far as we know God’s name could be Kelly. Chill out. All the ‘names’ for God we have are really nicknames given by people. I don’t think God cares what we call Him as long as we don’t call him late for dinner.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 10:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.9   oi bang

      Pers you have sinned how dare you call g-d, g-d? don’t you know he is omniscient omnipresent with superpower. He will smite you just like Saten because he can. POWER means fear.
      so that’s how priests/pops do business by making people afraid of big brother.
      hey bobby don’t go there, monster will catch you and throw in the deep well.
      hey joe don’t call god, god he will be pissed and you will burn in hell.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 10:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.10   flying fish

      anglophile,
      What type of heathen are you?
      Orthodox? Non-Orthodox?
      Neo-orthodox?
      Ultra-orthodox?
      Modern? Conservative, Humanistic or Reform-Orthodox?
      Or are you one of those heathens-for-Jesus?

      Sep 29, 2009 at 11:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.11   anglophile bang

      Alaska Synod

      Sep 29, 2009 at 11:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.12   HappyNat

      oi,

      The answer to your question is, “All signs point to yes”.

      Ghostman,
      Sure the NT god keeps the party going until he gets nailed to a piece of wood. By the time he lets everyone else in on the joke 3 days later everyone has sobered up and nobody’s getting laid. Thanks a lot Jesus.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 2:16 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   flying fish

    I agree with Pers.
    I think that God, couldn’t care less what we call Him. He has more important things to deal with.

    Now, the lesser gods, they tend to get a bit pissy about that sort of thing. (inferiority complexes don’tcha know)

    Sep 29, 2009 at 11:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Pers

      Cheers Flying Fish –

      I respect all faiths’ holy words for God, as they are beautiful things, but I think that we really can’t know God’s true name (if He has one).

      I think God doesn’t care what name we call Him by, as long as we call Him once in a while (if that is what your belief is), if it’s not your belief – I respect that too.

      I don’t think God is sitting at His heavenly computer reading this passive aggressive note and getting hung up on his name…but hey, who knows?

      Sep 29, 2009 at 2:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Now what the Good Master is telling us all right now is that up in Heaven, there are about a hundred million little tiny angels about ‘yea’ by ‘yea’, and they all take shorthand. And every time you do something silly, they write it in a…

      Sep 29, 2009 at 6:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   amy d bang

    I spent 20 minutes reading this thread thinking it was about fisting. That’s 20 minutes I’ll never get back.

    (tips hat to Rb and Claw)

    Sep 29, 2009 at 8:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Wordtinker doesnt smith bang

    Well, as long as we’re discussing the TRUE name of (insert your favorite name for the monotheistic deity here), I guess I’ll chime in.

    God’s true name is (drumroll, please):

    Politicized Behavior Modification Technique Applicable on a Global Scale.

    or Fred, I’ve never been sure.

    Sep 29, 2009 at 9:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      MrRilla is convinced that god’s name is actually “MyPenis”.. He is always saying “MyPenis is god in this house.”

      Sep 29, 2009 at 9:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Renagade676

    MrRilla has just made clear how God played a hand in the parting of the Red Sea. He might want to answer to MamaRilla about how the burning bush happened, though. Not meant to offend, just said in humor. I know my hubs would love to use that excuse too, but we’re Wiccan in this household, and that means the Goddess rules.

    Back on topic: I loved the whole ‘What if I’m starving to death’ bit. That’s the most pitiful excuse. They always have an option out of starving. Like, I don’t know, going to food bank, getting a job, or maybe ASKING someone. My great-grandma’s church always had a potluck. Maybe if the synogogue had one every Saturday this loser wouldn’t starve. If it was my food disappearing I’d answer back with ‘Now I’m starving too.”.

    Oct 1, 2009 at 2:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Pers

      God (aka Kelly) hates moochers.

      Someone stole His last piece of celestial pizza from His heavenly fridge and He’s ticked. It had His name on it and everything! ;)

      Oct 2, 2009 at 8:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Rachel R.

    The person who wrote this note really fails at being Jewish. You aren’t supposed to write God’s name on paper like that because it’ll be crumpled up and thrown out. Especially Adonai, which is the name you use in prayers.

    Oct 10, 2009 at 8:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   A Note From Adonai » Mixed Multitudes – My Jewish Learning: Exploring Judaism & Jewish Life

    [...] reader of Passive Aggressive Notes, but it’s a brilliant site, and I especially liked this note from a synagogue kitchen in [...]

    Oct 3, 2011 at 9:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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