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You can have the inflatable bananas

September 28th, 2009 · 100 comments

Katie in Scotland says she found this note “stuck to a wall at about knee-height, right above a very sad-looking deflated palm tree and a bunch of deflated inflatable bananas.” Unfortunately, Katie says, “i have no idea what the back story is…but I would love to, especially as the note writer seems to be a fair bit older than 8 or 11.”

Dylan + Amy: Because you're 8 & 11, I assume you know how to read. You can have the inflatable bananas + palm tree. We don't want them. I was rude to you cause you were rude to me. 8 + 11 is quite little.

related: Desperately seeking closure

FILED UNDER: kids · U.K. · WTF?

100 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Fi

    I want to see the palm tree.

    Sep 28, 2009 at 9:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   JetJackson

      I’ll show you my palm tree if you show me yours?

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:48 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Neeners

      I’d rather see your banana.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:57 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   JetJackson

      Inflated or deflated?

      Sep 28, 2009 at 10:02 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   Rowdy bang

      Sadly it makes no difference. 4″ + another 1″ is quite little.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 4:39 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #1.5   Meesh

      I hear that palm tree is a grower.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 7:18 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #1.6   park rose bang

      I hear that inflating bananas causes hairy palms.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 7:25 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #1.7   Alyssa Myers

      That’s an old wive’s tale! lol

      Oct 2, 2009 at 12:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #2   Kelly


    The age old excuse: I was rude to you cause you was rude to me.

    It keeps going and going and going…like the song that never ends.

    Sep 28, 2009 at 9:31 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Kelly

      Damn it! What are the odds that another person named Kelly reads this site? This is so confusing.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 10:54 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   JetJackson

      Since 1950 roughly 7500 girls are named Kelly in the US roughly 440k living at the moment. (lets assume anyone using a computer over age of 58 doesn’t know what a blog is and anyone under the age of 10 that we have included will offset those over 58 who do read PAN)… US female population 155.6 million would indicate a % of 0.2828 Americans women have the name Kelly.

      Alexa rank for PAN over past 7 days is about 19k which using a very rough distribution I found here
      would suggest around 2000 unique visitors a day. 60% of these are American and 50% of those Americans are women making up 600 american women visiting the site each day. 0.2828% of these women are named Kelly so 1.69 Amercian women named Kelly visit this site each day…

      So either this new Kelly is the other .69 of all the Kelly or they come from outside of the US.

      … I’m bored at work today.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 12:20 am   rating: 52  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   Kelly

      I call dibs on being the whole Kelly.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 12:30 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   Canthz_B bang

      The Kelly, the whole Kelly and nothing but the Kelly, so help you God?

      Petition granted. ;-)

      Sep 29, 2009 at 12:36 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #2.5   bowloftoast bang

      I’m kind of intrigued with this new Kelly and her whole .69 thing.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 12:48 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #2.6   Awen

      Hey Jet, you didn’t even consider the boys named Kelly. :P

      Sep 29, 2009 at 1:39 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #2.7   JetJackson

      Bloody hell! I should have invoked ceteris paribus.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 1:46 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #2.8   Kelly

      Jet, I just got a BS in econ, so I love you right now.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 2:08 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #2.9   Canthz_B bang

      That’s great news, Kelly!
      We really need you on the front lines right now….these schmucks are running things into the ground!

      Fix the econ for at least 30 years, will ya?
      After that, I really don’t care!

      All things being equal, that is.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 2:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.10   bokky bang

      *Are* there boys named Kelly?

      Sep 29, 2009 at 3:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.11   KatieMB

      I went to high school with a boy named Kelly.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 5:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.12   Shelley

      One of my best friends in college was a guy named Kelly.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 10:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #2.13   Bunnee bang

      For some reason, I’ve got this running through my head.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 11:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #2.14   H2IK

      I know a married couple both with the first name Kelly. Some people call them Mr Kelly and Miss Kelly. I prefer Kelly and “That Crazy Bitch Kelly Married”

      Sep 29, 2009 at 1:38 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #2.15   T imo® bang

      Fucking A! I got a stats boner from all this. Impressive.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 1:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.16   se

      I want to hear more about Kelly and the hole she calls herself.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 3:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #2.17   Delurker

      You know, two wrongs don’t make a right. . .but four lefts make a square.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 5:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.18   Arty

      … but multiply two negatives and you get a positive

      Sep 29, 2009 at 5:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #2.19   notolaf

      7500 girls named Kelly born, of which 440,000 yet live? Amazing!

      Oh, and yes, Kelly is one of those names, like Lynn or Tracy, which were originally men’s names.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 11:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.20   JetJackson

      7500 per year since 1950 is roughly 440k…

      You’re right though I have clearly made a mistake and should be bound, gagged and thrown back in to the sea.

      As for you Kelly… my undergrad is in econ… we should get married, have little baby girls and name them Milton and John Maynard. Then notolaf can write their anthroponomastics thesis about our offspring.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:08 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #3   limeliberator

    brokedown palm tree and bananas in lieu of apology?

    Sep 28, 2009 at 9:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   aaa bang

      Unrelated question, but what are you liberating the limes from?

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Neeners

      The margarita police???

      Sep 28, 2009 at 10:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #4   Danny Stamp

    Yours sincerely, George W.

    Sep 28, 2009 at 9:34 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

  • #5   aaa bang

    Everybody knows that mature, responsible adults play tit for tat with children. It totally looks cool when you stoop down to their level. SRSLY.

    Sep 28, 2009 at 9:38 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Kelly

      In the case of the placement of the note, the author was literally stooping to their level.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 10:55 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   QuarterRoy00 bang

      What is this mysterious ‘tat’ and where can I get some? It must be awesome if I can trade it for tit.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 10:57 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   aaa bang

      The internet, of course! Although you might not want to go looking for it at work…

      Sep 28, 2009 at 11:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #6   JetJackson

    Given the tone of the note I’d say the palm tree and the bananas now have tiny needle pricks in them and are no longer ‘inflatable’.

    Sep 28, 2009 at 9:46 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   bokky bang

      Sorry JJ, your post was not yet on my screen when I wrote mine (#7). Great minds…

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   JetJackson

      NP. Blink and you miss it hey… I thought that I was going to get the 1st post with this one.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 9:56 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #7   bokky bang

    I am not going to hazard a guess as to the scenario, but you can bet your bottom dollar that the PAN writer deliberately pricked all the inflatables several times with a pin before offering them to little Dylan & Amy.

    Sep 28, 2009 at 9:49 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I am going to hazard a guess that the scenario has Dylan and Amy taking a pin to every single condom package in the writer’s place…Just because he was rude.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 5:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #8   Neeners

    Who are all these tacky people writing about deflated bananas and palm trees?

    Sep 28, 2009 at 10:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #9   T

    LMAO @ Danny Stamp.

    That’s GOTTA be it! LMAO LMAO LMAO. You sir are a GENIUS.

    Seriously, that is the best thing I’ve read all month.

    Sep 28, 2009 at 10:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   GK bang

      I’m glad you gigglebraxed to give us that inciteful comment!

      Sep 29, 2009 at 2:46 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   park rose

      I’m glad you gigglebraxed to give us that inciteful comment, GK. (Duly incited).

      Sep 29, 2009 at 4:38 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #9.3   GK bang

      Please incite your sources.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 5:44 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.4   park rose

      You need some help inflating your banana, GK?
      Oh, sorry, incite, not excite…same-same.

      Okay, riot on topic, banana republics and all – maybe a tin-pot dictator or two – easy enough to cite (they’re generally generals and verbose) and to incite the people to rise up and overthrow, and for some light reading, Why Bananas are a Parable for our Times Hari, J. (2008).

      Sep 29, 2009 at 7:11 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #10   adnoxious

    Why rub it in that 8 + 11 is quite little? This adult needs to play nice.

    Sep 28, 2009 at 10:58 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Stasi bang

      OMG, no kidding. Sounds like the grownup has issues. (Maturity issues.)

      Sep 28, 2009 at 11:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Canthz_B bang

      Speaking of lousy advertising…

      Sep 28, 2009 at 11:55 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   GK bang

      Filed under “failure to take own advice”.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 3:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   Shelley

      I don’t think it was an adult. I’m guessing it’s someone about 14 or 15 who wanted to let the little 8 and 11 year old know that he or she, being a teenager, is far superior to two little runts. Because 14 and 15 year-olds are mature that way. If you don’t believe me, you’ve never lived with one.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 10:26 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #10.5   biteme

      I think it’s NOT an adult but probably a kid of about 13 who is “rubbing it in” that they are sooooo much older : / I’m thinking the young teen and friends are having a tropical themed party…the 8 & 11 yr. old wanna join they come offering inflatable decorations to get in on the action (later in life they’ll be the ones bringing really bad weed to parties they weren’t invited to..) anyway…..words were said..feelings were hurt..the “tweens” were told they weren’t “on the list” and to beat it. Later..for fear of being told on…the note-writer puts out the note and the defatable inflatables.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 11:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #11   QuarterRoy00 bang

    I think Dylan & Amy walked in on a little extreme role-playing monkey love.

    Sep 28, 2009 at 11:00 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #12   Flaboy2425

    There’s nothing like a deflated banana to break up the party.

    Sep 28, 2009 at 11:04 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Canthz_B bang

      John Bobbitt: Lorena, where’s my “banana”?

      Lorena Bobbitt: It split!!

      Sep 29, 2009 at 12:29 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #13   bowloftoast bang

    This reads like one of Michael Jackson’s out-of-court settlements.

    Too soon?

    Sep 28, 2009 at 11:16 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   bokky bang

      It didn’t seem like there ever was a “too soon” in his case.

      Sep 28, 2009 at 11:58 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   Canthz_B bang

      Finally, we hear from someone who sat on the jury and heard all of the facts. I was so tired of people who made up their minds based upon what they assumed and/or read in the press.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 12:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   bokky bang

      Canthz B, you talkin’ to me? If so, I was just referring to the fact no-one seemed to observe the usual period of too-soon-ness in the case of MJ. I was making no judgement on the man himself.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 1:44 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #13.4   Canthz_B bang

      Noted. But you can see, given the nature of our snarky little site, how it could have been read differently.
      Apologies for conclusion-jumping. :-)

      Sep 29, 2009 at 1:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.5   bokky bang

      Phew, glad we got that sorted. It would be unseemly to engage in a snarky slanging match just after changing my avatar to Lovey Howell. I can see very easily how you could have read it that way, so your apology is accepted.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 2:14 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.6   Canthz_B bang

      It’s my own fault really.

      My skin crawls when people are willing to, in the face of exculpatory evidence, maintain that a person is guilty because “He was convicted by a jury of his peers.”, but the same people will treat a person acquitted by his peers as guilty if they happen to believe he is guilty.

      Double standards bother Libras to no end! :lol:

      Sep 29, 2009 at 2:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.7   GK bang

      It’s not a double standard per se, they’re just lying about caring what the jury says. Everyone knows accusal = guilt!

      After his death, Michael was melted down and made into a palm tree and a bunch of bananas. If you blow the end, they get bigger!

      Sep 29, 2009 at 2:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.8   Canthz_B bang

      Point well taken, that’s why I’d never consent to a jury trial.
      There really is no such thing as an “impartial jury”.

      That, and the fact that ordinary people are generally incapable of employing critical thinking skills today.

      I can’t think of 12 men and women that I’d trust to see through a district attorney’s BS.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 3:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #13.9   umlaut

      I genuinely have little interest here either way but, rightly or wrongly, I think people will inevitably see an alleged $25m out-of-court settlement as an admission of guilt.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 6:40 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #13.10   Meesh

      Well why don’t you cry about it?

      Sep 29, 2009 at 7:33 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.11   Car RamRod

      None of us know for sure whether MJ was indeed of the tickle uncle variety except for those kids who he was sleeping in bed with “just as friends.” However, in this case the parents of those kids are actually partially responsible if it did happen. I mean first of all, just look at the guy. He went from a cute talented black boy to a frightening caricature of a plastic white woman. Then to top it off he builds a wonderland in his backyard cause he wants to be surrounded with children all the time. Well. OK. Maybe sending your kid to a camp to hang out with an obviously deranged person who never had a childhood and now looks like a demon-possessed barbie doll, might not be the best plan. Unless you are like that first couple who had a history of insurance fraud. I wonder if those sick fucks actually sent their kid there with the hopes of him getting molested so they could have their meal ticket. If so, they should be in jail.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 10:43 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #13.12   Please

      Oh, Heaven forbid someone have an opinion as to whether someone was guilty of the crime they were accused of, regardless of the outcome of the legal proceedings. We should all be immediately mind-zapped with the findings of 12 random people’s interpretation of the show put on by opposing legal teams.
      That whole freedom to form our own opinions thing is so, so passe.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 11:03 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #13.13   bowloftoast bang

      As he came to the window
      With bananas and a palm tree for them
      He came into their apartment
      Left the items, right there on the carpet
      Then he tried to inflate them
      But they wouldn’t, so he left them a math note
      At his knee height
      At their eye line

      Amy are we okay
      Are we okay, are we okay Amy?
      Dylan are we okay
      Are we okay, are we okay Dylan?
      Hope this squares things
      You can keep them, I don’t want them, no way.

      Hope we’re still friends
      You’ve been given, the inflatables.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 11:55 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #13.14   Canthz_B bang

      umlaut, thanks for proving my point.

      A settlement is not an admission of guilt. It’s a way of avoiding an even costlier court case.
      Don’t let the millions cloud your thinking.

      I once had an officer tack on a seatbelt violation to a driving with an expired registration ticket.
      I went to court prepared to plead guilty to the registration violation, but wanted to fight the seatbelt ticket because I’ve always worn my seatbelt ever since I was in a bad car accident.

      The DA said he’d have my seatbelt fine reduced to $125 if I were to plead guilty, but that if I took it to trial and lost it would be $500.

      So now I’m thinking about this “trial”, and all I can see is the judge asking me if I had on my seat belt and me saying “Yes”, then he asks the cop if I had on my seatbelt, and the cop says “No”.
      Then the judge says”Guilty” and I’m out $500.
      I plead guilty and was out of that charge for only $100.

      At the time, $100 might as well have been $25 million to me.
      That’s what we call a legal settlement.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #13.15   Please

      So, just because you pled guilty to avoid a heftier fine, it means that everyone who settles out of court must be seen as innocent and a victim of their circumstances? Are some people who settle cases innocent? Yes. Are some people who settle them guilty? Yes. People settle cases for many reasons, some of which involve them actually being guilty.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 1:41 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.16   Car RamRod

      Wow Canthz, where the fuck do you live that they charge 500 bux for a seatbelt violation? Lemme guess, the peoples’ republic of california? I thought NY and NJ were bad enough. But there if a cop is trying to give you a break on a speeding or red light ticket that involves points and therefore insurance rate increases, they give you a cheap seatbelt ticket so they can keep their quota up without really nailing you. NC takes it too far, cause if you have a good lawyer you can just pay a big fine for a DWI and get off on the other punishments. Shows they basically just want their money. A more subtle form of taxation.

      As far as the original debate, I agree with please. Some people who settle are guilty, some aren’t. Thing is, I’m not lady justice, and I don’t have to assume someone’s innocence until proven guilty. I can make a guess based on what I know and hold whatever opinion I wish, and in MJ’s case, I find it pretty easy to believe. It’s not quite as clearcut as OJ, but come on…

      Sep 30, 2009 at 1:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.17   Canthz_B bang

      Please, I never said no guilty people cop pleas, just that that’s not enough info to form an opinion about guilt or innocence.
      Tried to give you a real-life example from my own experience with “the system”, not to say that all people who plead guilty are innocent.

      Again, the way people jump to conclusions without actually thinking something through is why I don’t want the likes of you in judgment of me in a court of law.

      CRR, it was a municipal court in NJ. Towns set their own fines, but even the judge looked at the DA funny when he asked for $125. The judge imposed only $100.
      Even a thief has some principles, it seems! :lol:

      Now, you are free to hold whatever opinion you choose, based upon what you “know”, “hear”, “read” or whatever…but if you’ve ever done jury duty, you know that the facts of a case come only from the witness chair.

      Oh, and I have given no personal opinion about MJ’s guilt or innocence…though some may have made baseless assumptions.
      You see, I recognize that, though I may have the information that has been released to the public, I haven’t been given all of the information about a case (through the media) that exists, so I withhold judgment.

      Would that more of us would do so more often.
      Far too much “public opinion” is based upon far too little “public information”. Especially about things that are far more important.

      OJ? Really? Get over it. Go tell Emmett Till’s mom about it.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 2:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #13.18   Canthz_B bang

      Interesting question (maybe not), but why would anyone settle for a reported $25 million if they could get $100 million if they won a court case?

      Hmm, pay $25 million to make it go away, or throw away $75 million to stop prosecution of the guy that molested your child and take the money and run?

      You make the call.

      Still not taking sides because I cannot know, but my nature dictates that I look at things from more than one angle sometimes.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 3:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #13.19   Please

      You can look at them taking the settlement another way, too. They may have (rightfully) feared that a star as big as Michael Jackson would have a pretty decent chance of beating the charges. Going into court would have been a crapshoot, at best.

      Also, just because people form an opinion as to someone’s guilt or innocence based on what they have read and heard, it doesn’t make them incapable of being a fair juror. I definitely lean in the “he did it” column with regard to at least one of the charges against MJ, however, that’s just my personal opinion that impacts the participants in the case in no way. If I was on the jury and heard believable evidence that he was innocent, then I would have voted not guilty. I’m not condemning the man to the fiery bowels of hell or anything, I just think, based on my own opinion of the information out there (which includes things that he has said and done publicly) that there was a good chance he did it.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 10:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.20   Canthz_B bang

      To each his own.

      Most things can be looked at in many different ways.

      You choose to have an opinion knowing fully that you don’t have all of the facts, and that’s fine.

      I choose to not have opinions when I don’t have the facts, and that’s fine as well.

      I know that I don’t think a grown man should share a bed with a child, but I also know that “sleep with” might just mean , well, sleeping.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 11:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #13.21   Please

      Isn’t that kind of the whole point of an opinion? If we know for a fact whether he did or didn’t do it, it wouldn’t be an opinion. It would be a fact.

      You can only base your opinion on the information available to you, or you can just refuse to ever think for yourself and decide your opinion on a matter until someone spoon feeds it to you.

      To each his own.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 1:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.22   Canthz_B bang

      You’re not thinking for yourself if you’re only working with spoon-fed information.
      All you’re doing is forming the opinion others intend you to form.
      In politics they call it “spin”. ;-)

      Sep 30, 2009 at 10:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #13.23   ashmeadow

      I think some of you are mixing up civil court and state court. The settlement was for a civil court case. The state case goes on or not based upon evidence. The civil case stopped because of the settlement. The state case stopped because the father stopped cooperating with police, and the state had no other evidence. No settlement can ever legally specify that you stop cooperating with police. I can only speak from personal experience, but if I can get millions of dollars from someone who molested my child, and I could either get them put in jail, or drain their estate with court and lawyer fees from a state case, I would. I wouldn’t stop cooperating, just because I settled the civil case.

      Oct 4, 2009 at 3:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #13.24   Canthz_B bang

      Heck, if the guy molested my kid, I’d cooperate fully.
      Nothing says large civil suit win like a criminal conviction.
      The burden of proof is much higher in criminal court, so a win there virtually guarantees a win in a subsequent civil suit.

      “That’s when the big bucks roll in.”
      – Louie Anderson in “Coming to America”.

      Oct 4, 2009 at 1:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    Thank you so much. Yes, we have no bananas, so we accept.


    Dylan + Amy = Dylanamy
    (We do math as well as read.)

    Sep 29, 2009 at 12:00 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    Possible scenario:

    Dylan: If you’re never going to inflate the goddamn palm tree and bananas, you should give them to a charity case.

    Amy: She still needs practice giving a good blow, is what I’ve heard.

    Note Writer: Fuck off and stick your heads up a kilt you little bastards, before I tell your father who your real dad is.
    Now he’s a charity case!

    (Dylan and Amy run and tell their Dad. Under threat of a painful death, the above concession is made.)

    Sep 29, 2009 at 12:17 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    Dear palm tree + inflatable banana owner,

    We assume that since you are an adult, you should know how to write within the lines on a sheet of notebook paper.
    Your writing is quite large.

    Thanks for the stage props, as our company is putting on “South Pacific” next month….got any coconuts?

    Yours in bratty rudeness,

    Dylan + Amy

    Sep 29, 2009 at 2:14 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   GK bang

      Try asking Mishee™ — word on the street is she has a lovely pair of coconuts.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 2:54 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   Canthz_B bang

      Yes, but it’s been a while since they’ve “stood” in a row!

      ♥ Mishee™

      Sep 29, 2009 at 3:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #17   GK bang

    I wonder if the note-writer has ever even used paper before… he’s writing letters twice the height of the lines and clearly had a wrestling match with the block before he was able to tear a sheet off.

    The only logical conclusion is that he’s a time-travelling visitor from a distant future where paper is obsolete. 8 + 11 is quite little compared to the vast centuries he traversed to find the sole ancient artefacts from our times that could save the future world; an inflatable palm tree and a bunch of inflatable bananas. But since Dylan and Amy were rude to him, the leaders of his society sent him to take the stuff back — they didn’t want them. Politeness is a very big thing in the future. Instead, he went back to 1983 and borrowed ones from Mrs. Quinstace Archithorpe, 41 Brownstow Road, Manchester.

    Thus was disaster averted.

    Sep 29, 2009 at 4:05 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      So, you are saying the note writer was George Carlin?

      Sep 29, 2009 at 8:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   aaa bang

      I was thinking the note writer might be operating under the name Bill Cosby….

      Sep 29, 2009 at 10:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #17.3   Gandalf

      So long, and thanks for all the fish…GK

      Sep 29, 2009 at 2:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.4   bokky bang

      GK, you get a thumbs up just for Mrs Quinstace Archithorpe.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 5:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #18   Joe 2

    That’s every bit as cryptic as Lewis Black’s bit: “If it weren’t for my horse, I never would have spent that year at college.”

    Sep 29, 2009 at 8:00 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #19   Woman on the Verge bang

    You know, the note writer really shouldn’t make assumptions. Our education system is quite flawed, so it is very possible that Dylan and Amy cannot read.

    So if Amy and Dylan are very little and cannot read, they are probably street smart and are planning to melt down the inflatable paradise and inject it into a nearby hobo. See what happens when you assume?

    Sep 29, 2009 at 9:53 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Pers

      ZOMG! Stay in school kids! You may end up being a melted plastic drug mule for scary hobos!

      No child left behind!

      Sep 29, 2009 at 2:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #20   RP

    Why does katie think the note writer is a fair bit older than 8 and 11? The writer might be older but from the way it’s written it doesn’t look like they’re that much older.

    Sep 29, 2009 at 12:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #21   Stream of bat's piss

    I’m tempted to say that those inflated banananananas were fucking delicious, but i will refrain.

    Sep 29, 2009 at 3:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   TP

      I found the palm leaves to have a much silkier finish, with the subtle fucking delicious flavours of chocolate and almond.

      Sep 29, 2009 at 4:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #22   jjuice bang

    so was the whole Kelly’s .69 FD?

    Oct 2, 2009 at 5:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #23   the art of passive resistance

    [...] related: you can have the inflatable bananas [...]

    Nov 5, 2009 at 9:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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