five reasons to be glad you’re not a plumber

September 29th, 2009 · 142 comments

1. spotted by trevor in richmond, virginia

2. from karen in chicago

3. spotted by eli in kauai

4. from miller peterson in japan

and lastly, a beloved classic from the world-class run barbara (and of course, thx sandra)

related: with a chainsaw?

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FILED UNDER: toilet · wtf?

142 responses so far ↓

#1 jessie

I think I’m going to “throw up.”

Sep 29, 2009 at 11:56 pm rating: +9

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- #1.1 imo®
  
  Here’s your trash bag and a Mongolian Yak herder hat.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 8:52 am rating: +4
- #1.2 flying fish
  
  Ditto.
  I am NEVER using a public restroom again.
  Never, ever, ever.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 4:41 pm rating: +1
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#2 bokky

The first one’s a bit unfair. I mean *everyone* flushes butter and cheese down the toilet. Don’t they?

Sep 30, 2009 at 12:03 am rating: +24

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- #2.1 Watchtower
  
  How else are we supposed to donate to the sewer mutants?
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 2:39 am rating: +13
- #2.2 GK
  
  I flush cheese all the time, and I don’t mean the kind you make from milk.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 7:53 am rating: +4
- #2.3 imo®
  
  Donatello is lactose intolerant!
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 8:54 am rating: +4
- #2.4 jjdonkey
  
  Flushing perfectly good butter down the toilet is a crime. THERE ARE WOMEN IN CHICAGO STARVING FOR SOME GOOD UNSALTED BUTTER.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 9:11 am rating: +4
- #2.5 Dave
  
  Sorry about all that cheese. I’ll stop doing it now.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 11:33 am rating: +2
- #2.6 lownote
  
  So, am I ok to flush light cream then?
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 2:16 pm rating: +5
- #2.7 Semen da Zone
  
  So, like, is non-dairy creamer OK to flush, or does it totally fall under the category of “waste oil” ?
  
  Thx,
  Team International Delight
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 2:28 pm rating: +6
- #2.8 pony girl
  
  how come y’all’s pictures show up and mine doesn’t?
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 5:19 pm rating: 0
- #2.9 Alyssa Myers
  
  Or Mops?!?! Who flushes a mop down the toilet… that makes even less sense than cheese!
  
  Oct 2, 2009 at 12:25 am rating: +1
- #2.10 craniac
  
  I think they meant mop heads, not the entire mops.
  
  Oct 2, 2009 at 1:51 pm rating: 0
- #2.11 Sar
  
  Or maybe they meant those “Swiffer” things and didn’t know what to call it so they called it a mop. Which it’s not really.
  
  Oct 4, 2009 at 10:08 pm rating: 0
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#3 Canthz_B

Kittens are still flushable items.

Sep 30, 2009 at 12:04 am rating: +37

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- #3.1 Puss 'n Boots
  
  Remember, double-flush any long-hair kittens, please.
  
  Thx,
  Fluffy
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 9:59 am rating: +9
- #3.2 Croc Hunter
  
  But just a single-flush for the little baby gators you’ve got tired of.
  
  They get dizzy with a double-flush and don’t wanna wrestle.
  
  Thx,
  Steve
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 10:06 am rating: +2
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#4 aaa

Who the hell would flush art paper, canvas, and paint? Art supplies are fucking expensive!

Sep 30, 2009 at 12:05 am rating: +17

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- #4.1 The_Great_G
  
  No, art supplies are fucking delicious.
  They are also rather expensive, is you’ve pointed out. Perhaps they are a decadent delicacy
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 1:02 am rating: +4
- #4.2 Canthz_B
  
  Maybe art supplies are FD, but their high cost is why artists are starving!
  
  That’s why I still make pictures using macaroni.
  If they don’t sell, I can recycle.
  
  Also why I don’t flush cheese.
  Man cannot live on bread alone, but throw in some mac & cheese and ramen noodles and he can live on less than $2.00 a day.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 1:30 am rating: +7
- #4.3 anglophile
  
  Maybe it was some sort of performance art, aaa. Is it art, is it crap, that sort of thing.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 8:14 am rating: +6
- #4.4 HugsandKisses101
  
  CB– I don’t think you can recycle macaroni with gold paint and glitter on it…glued to paper. Just fyi.
  
  Oct 10, 2009 at 10:15 pm rating: 0
- #4.5 Canthz_B
  
  HK, I wasn’t into paint and glitter…I was a minimalist when it came to my macaroni art.
  
  Just fyi.
  
  Oct 10, 2009 at 10:45 pm rating: 0
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#5 aaa

All the cool kids vomit out their vaginas.

Sep 30, 2009 at 12:07 am rating: +8

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#6 harmonicpies

Those first two signs look pretty comprehensive. Thank goodness, I can still flush the leftover mongolian BBQ.

Sep 30, 2009 at 12:07 am rating: +21

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- #6.1 aaa
  
  Just don’t flush the hats.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 12:11 am rating: +11
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#7 aaa

Sounds like these people could use some paper urine trousers.

Sep 30, 2009 at 12:10 am rating: +4

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- #7.1 bokky
  
  Respect to engrish.com
  
  And that was a particularly delightful example.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 12:32 am rating: +1
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#8 JetJackson

Is Sandra a bald, old man with grey hair that straddles her patients in the cowgirl position while examining their teeth or just horribly inept at choosing clip art?

Sep 30, 2009 at 12:13 am rating: +20

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- #8.1 THX SANDRA
  
  Wouldn’t “You” like to know!
  
  THX,
  SANDRA
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 11:42 am rating: +7
- #8.2 Maas
  
  I think that’s Sandra’s alter ego.
  During the day she is a mild mannered printer of office signs, but at night he fights tooth damage caused by self induced vomiting.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 5:24 pm rating: +2
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#9 Canthz_B

I repeat:

Just a minor point, but if you find yourself up-chucking anything larger than a turd consult your physician immediately!

Sep 30, 2009 at 12:55 am rating: +28

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- #9.1 Nina
  
  Meals tend to be larger than the resulting turds. It’s kinda how the whole digestive system works.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 4:16 am rating: 0
- #9.2 Canthz_B
  
  Meals are larger than turds, Nina, but most of us swallow our meals in bites.
  I make no claim that I know of your table manners, but mastication is usually the very first part of how the whole digestive system works.
  That is, unless you swallow huge bits and shit pellets like a deer, in which case I’m impressed with your laryngeal dexterity and would pay good money for an “experience”.
  
  Have things gotten so bad that I have to explain that if a toilet can handle a turd, it should be able to handle vomit?
  Damn, Nina, you are undermining my faith in humanity!
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 4:36 am rating: +29
- #9.3 amy d
  
  My mom caught me masticating once. It was mortifying.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 6:16 am rating: +23
- #9.4 kaisha
  
  Teach me to be smart like you guyses, please teach me about the digestive system and masticating.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 8:49 am rating: +2
- #9.5 imo®
  
  Oh I can’t help myself I masticate three or four times a day at the very least. Then there are little quick ones in between these big job. So I really am just sitting around masticating non stop!
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 8:58 am rating: +4
- #9.6 Frankie
  
  I’m masticating right now.. And I’m thinking about you Ames.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 12:21 pm rating: +3
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#10 jacqueline

i have the same picture from kauai, and found it at a beach called barking sands. COOL!

Sep 30, 2009 at 12:56 am rating: 0

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- #10.1 pony girl
  
  Oh, do you have a collection of toilet pics from around the world as well?
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 5:36 pm rating: +1
- #10.2 jacqueline
  
  no. sadly, i don’t. the one similar to this one was the first one i took. i will try to get more though!
  
  Oct 5, 2009 at 11:41 pm rating: +1
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#11 anj

I’m sorry but I am going to continue to flush my used ob instead of wrapping it and throwing it into a trashcan.

I know these signs are meant for me!

Sep 30, 2009 at 1:03 am rating: +3

reply to this comment
- #11.1 Oh Really
  
  That’s the way it should be. Keep it simple, and set yourself free.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 1:23 am rating: 0
- #11.2 Canthz_B
  
  Somewhere a fly is starving because of you, anj. Not to mention the maggot homelessness crisis!
  
  “Pitch in” and create a habitat.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 1:25 am rating: +1
- #11.3 jc
  
  See comment below ms. clogsalot.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 1:50 am rating: +1
- #11.4 anj
  
  seriously though- they’re meant to be flushed. one at a time. after being used.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 9:58 am rating: +2
- #11.5 c
  
  me too. how gross is it to have to put those in the trash? it’s not like they’re huge anyway
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 10:50 am rating: +3
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#12 HottDawg

Recently excavated from the Lift Station at the apartment complex where i work: A mop head, adult diapers, kitty litter and a logjam of assorted feminine products. The bill? 20k +
( A Lift Station pumps sewage uphill )

Sep 30, 2009 at 1:14 am rating: +5

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#13 bokky

Just looking at the second to last one: ok, so you can’t flush fish skeletons or eggshells, but what the hell are all those other things?

Sep 30, 2009 at 1:22 am rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #13.1 Hmm
  
  It looks like bacon, string, peas, and a misshapen crouton.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 2:00 am rating: +3
- #13.2 stuffin
  
  I’m pretty sure there’s some spaghetti in there
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 2:51 am rating: 0
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#14 Canthz_B

These signs are all well and good, but what they should really post is the proper protocol for dealing with “floaters”.

How many flushes are enough before we’re square on that one?
My conscience is clear after two.

Sep 30, 2009 at 1:22 am rating: +3

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- #14.1 GhostWriter
  
  The best way I’ve found to deal with floaters is to rope ‘em down with some funnel cake batter.
  
  I like to pretend my turd is Gulliver, and I’m banishing him to the great blue whirlpool.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 8:28 am rating: +8
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#15 Pseudonym

I work in the management office for a commercial tower and I recall all too vividly a period of about six months in which a lady on one floor flushed a salad down the toilet every single day. It plugged every. single. time. Some people are insane in the membrane, baby.

Sep 30, 2009 at 1:32 am rating: +16

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- #15.1 Canthz_B
  
  That’s sad.
  It means that the rabbit she flushed down there first never got its meals!
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 1:37 am rating: +17
- #15.2 Steve
  
  Must have been a toss salad
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 1:40 am rating: +3
- #15.3 Rowan
  
  that’s because none of these signs expressly forbid salad!
  
  HOW ARE WE MEANT TO KNOW!?!?!?
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 3:48 am rating: +16
- #15.4 park rose
  
  I wouldn’t worry too much about it, Cb. You know how the saying goes; hare today, gone tomorrow.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 4:32 am rating: +1
- #15.5 Canthz_B
  
  Meh, I’d rather starve than have my salad tossed anyway!
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 5:00 am rating: +1
- #15.6 dragon
  
  isn’t salad supposed to do the exact opposite? i thought that was why people ate them.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 8:53 am rating: 0
- #15.7 clumber
  
  Efficiency, dragon. The lady was simply skipping a step. Banishing the middleman as it were.
  
  Speaking of… has anyone initiated an Amber Alert for Claw yet?
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 11:34 am rating: +2
- #15.8 Frankie
  
  Claw is okay. We know where he is. (most of the time) Just keep a close watch on your school age children while he’s in hiding.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 12:25 pm rating: +1
- #15.9 Canthz_B
  
  An Amber Alert may have already ~~nabbed~~ located claw.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 12:53 pm rating: +3
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#16 bowloftoast

Well, #4 makes things pretty clear: Feces only or he’ll 6pocante your cop.
(I’m assuming that’s something dirty, but I assume a lot of things.)

Sep 30, 2009 at 2:33 am rating: +4

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- #16.1 Flaboy2425
  
  Does feces only mean that I must urinate in the trash can?
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 10:11 am rating: +9
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#17 kp

I have one. how do i submit?

KP

http://www.theopenconsultancy.com

Sep 30, 2009 at 4:11 am rating: 0

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- #17.1 Woman on the Verge
  
  You might try the link at the top that says: SUBMIT A NOTE.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 6:21 am rating: +11
- #17.2 GK
  
  Don’t you go bringing Earth logic into this.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 7:49 am rating: +11
- #17.3 GhostWriter
  
  Sometimes it’s best to lay the entire text of your submission into a comment on a related note (for comparison). I did that a few months ago, and was awarded 24 thumbs!
  
  It can’t hurt to try- I’ll thumb ya!
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 8:34 am rating: +1
- #17.4 notolaf
  
  http://www.theopenconsultancy.com
  
  “We help lifestyle brands to change and increase their importance.”
  
  Huh?
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 11:10 pm rating: 0
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#18 felix

What kind of pipes can’t handle vomit?

What exactly are these people vomiting?

Sep 30, 2009 at 4:27 am rating: +16

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- #18.1 Frankie
  
  Well RB does work in California, soooo…. everything. They are vomiting everything.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 12:26 pm rating: +4
- #18.2 bev
  
  Well, it is in quotes. So “vomit” might be code for “car parts,” or “dead squirrels,” or “salad.”
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 4:49 pm rating: +5
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#19 Katelyn

Wait, the toilets can handle solid turds but not vomit? Which is LIQUID? What the heck are these people vomiting?

Sep 30, 2009 at 4:31 am rating: +3

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- #19.1 Frankie
  
  see above @ 18.1
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 12:27 pm rating: +1
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#20 Vlad the impaler

Aw, shit yeah y’all! THX Sandra is back!

Sep 30, 2009 at 4:44 am rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #20.1 Frankie
  
  She never left Vlad, she’s always close by, watching us, and waiting…
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 12:28 pm rating: +1
- #20.2 Beanster
  
  is Run Barbara really a (sexy hot) sign maker with Multiple-Personality Disorder? has Sandra been in our midst all along?
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 6:29 pm rating: 0
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#21 Tina Ballerina

Why bother peeing in the toilet, when you can just use the trash can? Cut out the middle-man!!

THX,
SANDRA! (for opening my eyes)

Sep 30, 2009 at 5:13 am rating: +5

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#22 Wade

Am I the only one who sees the marketing opportunity this problem presents?

Imagine a world where every toilet is equipped with a flux (or flush) capacitor. Clogs and the energy crisis would be a thing of the past.

The only downside would be drying up a rich source of passive-aggressive notes.

Sep 30, 2009 at 5:56 am rating: +6

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#23 Woman on the Verge

I once had a tank with 10 fish. I moved for the summer and my neighbor tossed in those vacation feeder things once a week. When I returned, there was flowing moss and only 2 survivors. While I was cleaning the tank, they committed suicide by jumping out of the sherbet container on the counter. When I went to flush them, the little black one started swimming. Against the current. I was pretty sure he was a serial killer and possessed by the devil as I had found no other remains in the tank so I kept flushing. It took 4 flushes to get rid of him. I figured that was easier and cheaper than exorcism.

Sep 30, 2009 at 6:26 am rating: +40

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- #23.1 clumber
  
  Great. Now I need counseling and PTSD treatment. I laughed FAR too heartily at that to be sane.
  
  A thumb has been clicked.
  
  Foo.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 11:37 am rating: +4
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#24 Woman on the Verge

Does this mean I can still flush my mutant, two-headed opossum roadkill?

Sep 30, 2009 at 6:26 am rating: +4

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- #24.1 Frankie
  
  Yes ma’am. But don’t flush the armadillos… They flourish in the sewer and it causes terrible overpopulation problems.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 12:29 pm rating: +4
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#25 Woman on the Verge

So, what is the “THROW UP” really? I mean, the quotation marks indicate that it might be something else… something sinister… maybe it’s some sort of code that only bulimics can decipher…

Sep 30, 2009 at 6:29 am rating: +5

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- #25.1 Morgaine
  
  As a former bulimic, I have no clue. Vomit is vomit. And bulimic know how to make vomiting a better experience.
  
  Except of course, the ones who vomit into a bucket that they hide in their closet (true story!). Those bulimics always just grossed me out. Just vomit in the toilet or shower.
  
  Or maybe I was just a bad bulimic, since I don’t know the secret codes anymore.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 6:57 am rating: +4
- #25.2 THX SANDRA
  
  “Need to know” basis only.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 11:47 am rating: +3
- #25.3 Frankie
  
  Morgaine do you get flashbacks when you vomit not on purpose?
  
  Can we flush flashbacks?
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 12:32 pm rating: +2
- #25.4 Morgaine
  
  Actually no. I vomit a lot (most of the time not on purpose) but it makes me feel better. I like getting it up and out.
  
  And I only vomit on purpose when I feel like I need to. not because I ate a million calories. Thankfully.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 6:51 pm rating: 0
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#26 DarianNox

Maybe by “throw up” they mean “Please stop flushing your aborted fetuses you skanks”? Just a thought…

Sep 30, 2009 at 7:22 am rating: +5

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- #26.1 Girl Friday
  
  Different medical clip art for that whole scenario… That doctor is looking in the wrong orifice.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 7:58 am rating: +7
- #26.2 imo®
  
  That clip art would involve a wok and some sweet and sour sauce…
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 1:39 pm rating: +1
- #26.3 sharkfan
  
  mmm…dumplings!
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 5:23 pm rating: +1
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#27 Dagny

I think that more “FECES ONLY!!!” signs should be placed everywhere. Think about it.

Sep 30, 2009 at 7:27 am rating: +4

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- #27.1 Meesh
  
  I need that sign for when my husband tries to play the back nine.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 7:32 am rating: +30
- #27.2 park rose
  
  I think it should be the sub-heading for any Murdoch rag.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 7:38 am rating: +7
- #27.3 Canthz_B
  
  “The No Spin Zone”? They never flush, so they’re always full of shit.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 11:51 am rating: +2
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#28 Meesh

There are WAY more than 5 reasons to be glad you’re not a plumber.

Sep 30, 2009 at 7:31 am rating: +7

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- #28.1 clumber
  
  Yup. My dad is convinced that his job title in hell will be plumber.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 11:39 am rating: +1
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#29 Joe Mama

If I *really* want to flush some of these things (like canvas, pesticides, wood, etc), then is it cool if I *eat* them and then poop them out into the toilet?

Sep 30, 2009 at 7:53 am rating: +7

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#30 unholyghost2003

Why can’t I flush pet wastes? I promise you my dog’s turds are smaller than my husband’s.

Sep 30, 2009 at 8:04 am rating: +16

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#31 GhostWriter

OK guys, I finally scrubbed down the toilet, but we’ve still got a problem – I’m not allowed to flush the soap.

Sep 30, 2009 at 8:40 am rating: +11

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#32 adnoxious

Reason #1 to become a plumber: You get to make AWESOME signs.

Als0- does “Feces Only” mean you can’t pee in the toilet?

Sep 30, 2009 at 8:49 am rating: +1

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- #32.1 Canthz_B
  
  And yet you continue to post your lousy ads…tacky, very tacky.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 12:02 pm rating: +1
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#33 imo®

So I guess running my roommate through a wood chipper and flushing them away isn’t going to work?

Sep 30, 2009 at 8:51 am rating: 0

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- #33.1 Dark Passage
  
  Trying to get the men’s room attendant in Tajikistan to wrap his head around the idiomatic excuse of “My roommate is a piece of shit” seems needlessly risky considering the very emphatic appearance of the sign (and the unknown nature of the penalties)
  
  Much safer to wait until your itinerary brings you back to someplace where Engrish is on the throne.
  
  The other four don’t specifically mention roommates or Bony Burger, so as long as you prep him carefully to remove any plastic spoons, coffee stirrers, paper napkins, and those pesky International Delight coffee creamers that are the reason you’re tossing his ass into that Asplundh-o-matic, well you should be, um, good to go!
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 10:44 am rating: +7
- #33.2 Gandalf
  
  No, You can flush the roommate, but you must clean the chipper of any wood first,
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 11:04 am rating: +3
- #33.3 Prints Charmin
  
  Best way to clean the chipper is with a high-pressure nozzle. *
  
  But remember to wipe the chipper down afterward, clean and dry.
  
  Remember, the job ain’t over ’til the paperwork’s done.
  
  * Infield-fly rule is in effect here.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 2:48 pm rating: +1
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#34 GhostWriter

I normally oppose five notes together, but this series is simply masterful. Just the right length, and the last two pieces are chock-full of mysterious tidbits and warm memories.

Sorta like my last poop.

Sep 30, 2009 at 8:56 am rating: +7

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#35 jjdonkey

I guess what concerns me the most is the Dentist Clip Art used for the “No Bulimia” Poster. Was she looking for “CLIP ART WITH AN OPEN MOUTH” or “THINGS IN THE MOUTH THAT COULD MAKE YOU GAG”.? I’m lost.

Clip art is serious business.

Sep 30, 2009 at 9:09 am rating: +6

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- #35.1 Mike
  
  That’s just what makes “Thx Sandra” so special!
  
  Whatever happened to RunBarbara anyway?
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 9:37 am rating: +3
- #35.2 hellocello
  
  I think tooth decay is a side-effect of bulimia. All that acid in your stomach isn’t good on the teeth.
  
  Thnx Sandra’s message reveals itself in stages.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 10:34 am rating: +9
- #35.3 Meesh
  
  She is truly a visionary.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 11:23 am rating: +5
- #35.4 THX SANDRA
  
  THX
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 11:49 am rating: +3
- #35.5 imo®
  
  RunBarbara is currently serving 3-7 in a woman’s chain gang… It was noisy at the time so I may have mis-heard that.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 1:43 pm rating: +3
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#36 artie

Those are 5 reasons to be glad you are a plumber…each one of them means easy money for 5 minutes of work.

Sep 30, 2009 at 9:34 am rating: +3

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#37 Stream of bat's piss

Does that mean I can dump my cat and dog shit in the crapper that says ‘feces only?’

Sep 30, 2009 at 10:40 am rating: +2

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#38 thirty six red

Cheese should be smeared on the nearest hotel lobby door- not flushed down the toilet. Try to remember this.

Sep 30, 2009 at 11:19 am rating: +2

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- #38.1 pony girl
  
  What is with all this inappropriate use of cheese?
  When did that start?
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 5:25 pm rating: +1
- #38.2 Clarissa
  
  Why wasn’t I aware of that?!
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 5:47 pm rating: 0
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#39 farcical aquatic ceremony

Is no one else concerned about the fact that this dentist has SO MANY barfing women in his office? Maybe he’s sticking that thingie* too far down everyone’s throats; I hate that.

(*I present to you a clear–ahem–opening for salaciousness)

Sep 30, 2009 at 11:23 am rating: +2

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- #39.1 Meesh
  
  My dentist calls that tool “Mr. Thirsty.”
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 11:27 am rating: +4
- #39.2 bowloftoast
  
  Has Mr. Thirsty ever tried to play the back nine?
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 12:41 pm rating: +4
- #39.3 imo®
  
  *Had no idea dentists were so depraved*
  
  http://www.ktvu.com/news/17862627/detail.html
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 1:46 pm rating: +1
- #39.4 pony girl
  
  that’s what my ex used to call it
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 5:16 pm rating: 0
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#40 Stream of bat's piss

Is that why I always feel so funny when the anesthetic wears off?

Sep 30, 2009 at 12:11 pm rating: +2

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#41 Canthz_B

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you…don’t flush another.

Sep 30, 2009 at 12:13 pm rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #41.1 Clarissa
  
  Ok, I’m sorry, CB. Won’t do that again.
  
  But it’s not like I covered you in cheese first or anything.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 5:50 pm rating: +1
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#42 Joshua

Is it just me, or are the passive aggressive notes that are posted on here getting less and less passive aggressive? I might just be jilted because I submitted an awesome example of passive aggressiveness in truest form and it has not been posted….or maybe I just don’t understand what passive aggressiveness actually is.

Sep 30, 2009 at 12:44 pm rating: 0

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#43 Frankie

go here. Maybe that will help you understand Joshua…

Sep 30, 2009 at 1:01 pm rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #43.1 Beth
  
  That didn’t help me understand Joshua at all. Perhaps nothing can.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 2:14 pm rating: +11
- #43.2 Clarissa
  
  Joshua is a very complex human being, really.
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 5:42 pm rating: +2
- #43.3 Joshua
  
  I went on the journey to “here” to try to understand. I was sort of expecting a snowy himalaya thing with a temple on the top. I’m afraid the attempted self-discovery was fruitless.
  
  Oct 1, 2009 at 12:13 pm rating: +3
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#44 The Mayor of Bethville

Heavy cream, butter, AND cheese. Someone was clearly making Toilet Mac.

Sep 30, 2009 at 2:36 pm rating: +11

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- #44.1 BlackMarketBeagle
  
  We do that in woman’s prison. You got to do what you got to do.
  Ya know?
  
  Sep 30, 2009 at 3:50 pm rating: +2
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#45 The Commish

I don’t know about you, but my flushing-appropriate waste is a bigger job than my “throw up.” Maybe it’s ’cause I eat a lot of bran, and when I throw up I’m usually drunk and it’s just beer and vodka anyway.

Sep 30, 2009 at 6:22 pm rating: +2

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#46 sexy_angelina

hahahah i love the dentist notes!
very funny!

Oct 1, 2009 at 3:53 am rating: +1

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#47 Trish

Why the picture of the dentist on the note about throwing up?

Oct 1, 2009 at 9:13 am rating: +1

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#48 Neeners

Hey novel idea- how bout just number one & two in the toilet?
They make these big round bins for other stuff so throw all your cheese, sticks and art supplies in there.
By the way if you could quit crapping in the big round bin and use the toilet please. Our trash bins just can’t handle that sort of ‘big job’.

Oct 1, 2009 at 9:04 pm rating: +1

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#49 Iphy

The sad part is that people DO flush all sorts of stuff and nonsense down toilets other than their bodily wastes. My husband is a building engineer and is the unfortunate soul who has to deal with toilets clogged with bizarre objects. People think pipes are huge and can take anything; that’s absolutely not the case. The office building has found it necessary to post signs about the items that create the most nuisance – paper towels and sanitary napkins – because people attempt to flush them all the time.

Oct 3, 2009 at 8:54 pm rating: 0

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#50 bobby

Big Jobs like Throw Up is my favorite phrase of 2008.

Oct 5, 2009 at 12:29 pm rating: 0

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painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

five reasons to be glad you’re not a plumber

September 29th, 2009 · 142 comments

142 responses so far ↓

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