Five reasons to be glad you’re not a plumber

September 29th, 2009 · 144 comments

1. Spotted by Trevor in Richmond, Virginia

PLEASE DO NOT FLUSH...coffee grounds, dental floss, disposable diapers, cat litter, pet wastes, sanitary napkins, tampons, cigarette butts, condoms, paper towels, facial tissues, plastics, heavy cream, cheese, butter, soap HAZARDOUS CHEMICALS SUCH AS: pesticides, medicines, paints, varnishes, thinners, waste oils, photographic solutions

2. From Karen in Chicago

PLEASE DO NOT FLUSH DOWN THE TOILETS: Feminine hygiene products, diapers, paper towels or mops, food, napkins or glass, computer paper, art papers, fabric or canvas, paints or solvents, plants, sand or soil, plastic, wood or metal

3. Spotted by Eli in Kauai

DO NOT flush paper towels, newspaper, wrapping paper, rags, disposable diapers, sanitary napkins, tampons, plastic, sticks, etc. down the toiler

4. from Miller Peterson in Japan

FECES ONLY! Don't flush another!

And lastly, a beloved classic from the world-class RunBarbara (and of course, THX SANDRA)

Hello ladies, This is the last time I will remind you: if you have to "throw up" in the bathroom please do it in the trash can, then take the bag out of the trash can and dispose of it down-stairs in the "facilities" dumpster.


related: with a chainsaw?

FILED UNDER: bodily fluids · garbage · toilet · WTF?


144 responses so far ↓

  • #1   jessie

    I think I’m going to “throw up.”

    Sep 29, 2009 at 11:56 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   imo® bang

      Here’s your trash bag and a Mongolian Yak herder hat.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 8:52 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   flying fish

      Ditto.
      I am NEVER using a public restroom again.
      Never, ever, ever.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 4:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   bokky bang

    The first one’s a bit unfair. I mean *everyone* flushes butter and cheese down the toilet. Don’t they?

    Sep 30, 2009 at 12:03 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Watchtower bang

      How else are we supposed to donate to the sewer mutants?

      Sep 30, 2009 at 2:39 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   GK bang

      I flush cheese all the time, and I don’t mean the kind you make from milk.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 7:53 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   imo® bang

      Donatello is lactose intolerant!

      Sep 30, 2009 at 8:54 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   jjdonkey

      Flushing perfectly good butter down the toilet is a crime. THERE ARE WOMEN IN CHICAGO STARVING FOR SOME GOOD UNSALTED BUTTER.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 9:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Dave

      Sorry about all that cheese. I’ll stop doing it now.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 11:33 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   lownote

      So, am I ok to flush light cream then?

      Sep 30, 2009 at 2:16 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Semen da Zone

      So, like, is non-dairy creamer OK to flush, or does it totally fall under the category of “waste oil” ?

      Thx,
      Team International Delight

      Sep 30, 2009 at 2:28 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   pony girl bang

      how come y’all’s pictures show up and mine doesn’t?

      Sep 30, 2009 at 5:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   Alyssa Myers

      Or Mops?!?! Who flushes a mop down the toilet… that makes even less sense than cheese!

      Oct 2, 2009 at 12:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   craniac

      I think they meant mop heads, not the entire mops.

      Oct 2, 2009 at 1:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   Sar

      Or maybe they meant those “Swiffer” things and didn’t know what to call it so they called it a mop. Which it’s not really.

      Oct 4, 2009 at 10:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    Kittens are still flushable items.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 12:04 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Puss 'n Boots

      Remember, double-flush any long-hair kittens, please.

      Thx,
      Fluffy

      Sep 30, 2009 at 9:59 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Croc Hunter

      But just a single-flush for the little baby gators you’ve got tired of.

      They get dizzy with a double-flush and don’t wanna wrestle.

      Thx,
      Steve

      Sep 30, 2009 at 10:06 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   aaa bang

    Who the hell would flush art paper, canvas, and paint? Art supplies are fucking expensive!

    Sep 30, 2009 at 12:05 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   The_Great_G

      No, art supplies are fucking delicious.
      They are also rather expensive, is you’ve pointed out. Perhaps they are a decadent delicacy

      Sep 30, 2009 at 1:02 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe art supplies are FD, but their high cost is why artists are starving!

      That’s why I still make pictures using macaroni.
      If they don’t sell, I can recycle.

      Also why I don’t flush cheese.
      Man cannot live on bread alone, but throw in some mac & cheese and ramen noodles and he can live on less than $2.00 a day.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 1:30 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   anglophile bang

      Maybe it was some sort of performance art, aaa. Is it art, is it crap, that sort of thing.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 8:14 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   HugsandKisses101 bang

      CB– I don’t think you can recycle macaroni with gold paint and glitter on it…glued to paper. Just fyi.

      Oct 10, 2009 at 10:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Canthz_B bang

      HK, I wasn’t into paint and glitter…I was a minimalist when it came to my macaroni art.

      Just fyi.

      Oct 10, 2009 at 10:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   aaa bang

    All the cool kids vomit out their vaginas.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 12:07 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   harmonicpies

    Those first two signs look pretty comprehensive. Thank goodness, I can still flush the leftover mongolian BBQ.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 12:07 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   aaa bang

      Just don’t flush the hats.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:11 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   aaa bang

    Sounds like these people could use some paper urine trousers.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 12:10 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   bokky bang

      Respect to engrish.com

      And that was a particularly delightful example.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   JetJackson

    Is Sandra a bald, old man with grey hair that straddles her patients in the cowgirl position while examining their teeth or just horribly inept at choosing clip art?

    Sep 30, 2009 at 12:13 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   THX SANDRA

      Wouldn’t “You” like to know!

      THX,
      SANDRA

      Sep 30, 2009 at 11:42 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Maas

      I think that’s Sandra’s alter ego.
      During the day she is a mild mannered printer of office signs, but at night he fights tooth damage caused by self induced vomiting.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 5:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    I repeat:

    Just a minor point, but if you find yourself up-chucking anything larger than a turd consult your physician immediately!

    Sep 30, 2009 at 12:55 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Nina

      Meals tend to be larger than the resulting turds. It’s kinda how the whole digestive system works.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 4:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Canthz_B bang

      Meals are larger than turds, Nina, but most of us swallow our meals in bites.
      I make no claim that I know of your table manners, but mastication is usually the very first part of how the whole digestive system works.
      That is, unless you swallow huge bits and shit pellets like a deer, in which case I’m impressed with your laryngeal dexterity and would pay good money for an “experience”.

      Have things gotten so bad that I have to explain that if a toilet can handle a turd, it should be able to handle vomit?
      Damn, Nina, you are undermining my faith in humanity!

      Sep 30, 2009 at 4:36 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   amy d bang

      My mom caught me masticating once. It was mortifying.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 6:16 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   kaisha

      Teach me to be smart like you guyses, please teach me about the digestive system and masticating.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 8:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   imo® bang

      Oh I can’t help myself I masticate three or four times a day at the very least. Then there are little quick ones in between these big job. So I really am just sitting around masticating non stop!

      Sep 30, 2009 at 8:58 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   Frankie bang

      I’m masticating right now.. And I’m thinking about you Ames.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:21 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   jacqueline

    i have the same picture from kauai, and found it at a beach called barking sands. COOL!

    Sep 30, 2009 at 12:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   pony girl bang

      Oh, do you have a collection of toilet pics from around the world as well?

      Sep 30, 2009 at 5:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   jacqueline

      no. sadly, i don’t. the one similar to this one was the first one i took. i will try to get more though!

      Oct 5, 2009 at 11:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   anj

    I’m sorry but I am going to continue to flush my used ob instead of wrapping it and throwing it into a trashcan.

    I know these signs are meant for me!

    Sep 30, 2009 at 1:03 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Oh Really

      That’s the way it should be. Keep it simple, and set yourself free.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 1:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Canthz_B bang

      Somewhere a fly is starving because of you, anj. Not to mention the maggot homelessness crisis!

      “Pitch in” and create a habitat.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 1:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   jc

      See comment below ms. clogsalot.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 1:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   anj

      seriously though- they’re meant to be flushed. one at a time. after being used.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 9:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   c

      me too. how gross is it to have to put those in the trash? it’s not like they’re huge anyway

      Sep 30, 2009 at 10:50 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   HottDawg bang

    Recently excavated from the Lift Station at the apartment complex where i work: A mop head, adult diapers, kitty litter and a logjam of assorted feminine products. The bill? 20k +
    ( A Lift Station pumps sewage uphill )

    Sep 30, 2009 at 1:14 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   bokky bang

    Just looking at the second to last one: ok, so you can’t flush fish skeletons or eggshells, but what the hell are all those other things?

    Sep 30, 2009 at 1:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Hmm

      It looks like bacon, string, peas, and a misshapen crouton.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 2:00 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   stuffin

      I’m pretty sure there’s some spaghetti in there

      Sep 30, 2009 at 2:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    These signs are all well and good, but what they should really post is the proper protocol for dealing with “floaters”.

    How many flushes are enough before we’re square on that one?
    My conscience is clear after two.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 1:22 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   GhostWriter bang

      The best way I’ve found to deal with floaters is to rope ‘em down with some funnel cake batter.

      I like to pretend my turd is Gulliver, and I’m banishing him to the great blue whirlpool.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 8:28 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Pseudonym

    I work in the management office for a commercial tower and I recall all too vividly a period of about six months in which a lady on one floor flushed a salad down the toilet every single day. It plugged every. single. time. Some people are insane in the membrane, baby.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 1:32 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Canthz_B bang

      That’s sad.
      It means that the rabbit she flushed down there first never got its meals!

      Sep 30, 2009 at 1:37 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Steve

      Must have been a toss salad

      Sep 30, 2009 at 1:40 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Rowan

      that’s because none of these signs expressly forbid salad!

      HOW ARE WE MEANT TO KNOW!?!?!?

      Sep 30, 2009 at 3:48 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   park rose bang

      I wouldn’t worry too much about it, Cb. You know how the saying goes; hare today, gone tomorrow.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 4:32 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   Canthz_B bang

      Meh, I’d rather starve than have my salad tossed anyway!

      Sep 30, 2009 at 5:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.6   dragon bang

      isn’t salad supposed to do the exact opposite? i thought that was why people ate them.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 8:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.7   clumber

      Efficiency, dragon. The lady was simply skipping a step. Banishing the middleman as it were.

      Speaking of… has anyone initiated an Amber Alert for Claw yet?

      Sep 30, 2009 at 11:34 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.8   Frankie bang

      Claw is okay. We know where he is. (most of the time) Just keep a close watch on your school age children while he’s in hiding.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.9   Canthz_B bang

      An Amber Alert may have already nabbed located claw.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   bowloftoast bang

    Well, #4 makes things pretty clear: Feces only or he’ll 6pocante your cop.
    (I’m assuming that’s something dirty, but I assume a lot of things.)

    Sep 30, 2009 at 2:33 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Flaboy2425

      Does feces only mean that I must urinate in the trash can?

      Sep 30, 2009 at 10:11 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   kp

    I have one. how do i submit?

    KP

    http://www.theopenconsultancy.com

    Sep 30, 2009 at 4:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      You might try the link at the top that says: SUBMIT A NOTE.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 6:21 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   GK bang

      Don’t you go bringing Earth logic into this.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 7:49 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   GhostWriter bang

      Sometimes it’s best to lay the entire text of your submission into a comment on a related note (for comparison). I did that a few months ago, and was awarded 24 thumbs!

      It can’t hurt to try- I’ll thumb ya!

      Sep 30, 2009 at 8:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   notolaf

      http://www.theopenconsultancy.com

      “We help lifestyle brands to change and increase their importance.”

      Huh?

      Sep 30, 2009 at 11:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   felix

    What kind of pipes can’t handle vomit?

    What exactly are these people vomiting?

    Sep 30, 2009 at 4:27 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Frankie bang

      Well RB does work in California, soooo…. everything. They are vomiting everything.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:26 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   bev

      Well, it is in quotes. So “vomit” might be code for “car parts,” or “dead squirrels,” or “salad.”

      Sep 30, 2009 at 4:49 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Katelyn

    Wait, the toilets can handle solid turds but not vomit? Which is LIQUID? What the heck are these people vomiting?

    Sep 30, 2009 at 4:31 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Frankie bang

      see above @ 18.1

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Vlad the impaler

    Aw, shit yeah y’all! THX Sandra is back!

    Sep 30, 2009 at 4:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Frankie bang

      She never left Vlad, she’s always close by, watching us, and waiting…

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Beanster bang

      is Run Barbara really a (sexy hot) sign maker with Multiple-Personality Disorder? has Sandra been in our midst all along?

      Sep 30, 2009 at 6:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Tina Ballerina

    Why bother peeing in the toilet, when you can just use the trash can? Cut out the middle-man!!

    THX,
    SANDRA! (for opening my eyes)

    Sep 30, 2009 at 5:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Wade bang

    Am I the only one who sees the marketing opportunity this problem presents?

    Imagine a world where every toilet is equipped with a flux (or flush) capacitor. Clogs and the energy crisis would be a thing of the past.

    The only downside would be drying up a rich source of passive-aggressive notes.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 5:56 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Woman on the Verge bang

    I once had a tank with 10 fish. I moved for the summer and my neighbor tossed in those vacation feeder things once a week. When I returned, there was flowing moss and only 2 survivors. While I was cleaning the tank, they committed suicide by jumping out of the sherbet container on the counter. When I went to flush them, the little black one started swimming. Against the current. I was pretty sure he was a serial killer and possessed by the devil as I had found no other remains in the tank so I kept flushing. It took 4 flushes to get rid of him. I figured that was easier and cheaper than exorcism.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 6:26 am   rating: 54  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   clumber

      Great. Now I need counseling and PTSD treatment. I laughed FAR too heartily at that to be sane.

      A thumb has been clicked.

      Foo.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 11:37 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Woman on the Verge bang

    Does this mean I can still flush my mutant, two-headed opossum roadkill?

    Sep 30, 2009 at 6:26 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Frankie bang

      Yes ma’am. But don’t flush the armadillos… They flourish in the sewer and it causes terrible overpopulation problems.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:29 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Woman on the Verge bang

    So, what is the “THROW UP” really? I mean, the quotation marks indicate that it might be something else… something sinister… maybe it’s some sort of code that only bulimics can decipher…

    Sep 30, 2009 at 6:29 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Morgaine

      As a former bulimic, I have no clue. Vomit is vomit. And bulimic know how to make vomiting a better experience.

      Except of course, the ones who vomit into a bucket that they hide in their closet (true story!). Those bulimics always just grossed me out. Just vomit in the toilet or shower.

      Or maybe I was just a bad bulimic, since I don’t know the secret codes anymore.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 6:57 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   THX SANDRA

      “Need to know” basis only.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 11:47 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   Frankie bang

      Morgaine do you get flashbacks when you vomit not on purpose?

      Can we flush flashbacks?

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   Morgaine

      Actually no. I vomit a lot (most of the time not on purpose) but it makes me feel better. I like getting it up and out.

      And I only vomit on purpose when I feel like I need to. not because I ate a million calories. Thankfully.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 6:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   DarianNox

    Maybe by “throw up” they mean “Please stop flushing your aborted fetuses you skanks”? Just a thought…

    Sep 30, 2009 at 7:22 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Girl Friday

      Different medical clip art for that whole scenario… That doctor is looking in the wrong orifice.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 7:58 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   imo® bang

      That clip art would involve a wok and some sweet and sour sauce…

      Sep 30, 2009 at 1:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   sharkfan

      mmm…dumplings!

      Sep 30, 2009 at 5:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Dagny

    I think that more “FECES ONLY!!!” signs should be placed everywhere. Think about it.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 7:27 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Meesh

      I need that sign for when my husband tries to play the back nine.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 7:32 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   park rose bang

      I think it should be the sub-heading for any Murdoch rag.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 7:38 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Canthz_B bang

      “The No Spin Zone”? They never flush, so they’re always full of shit.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 11:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Meesh

    There are WAY more than 5 reasons to be glad you’re not a plumber.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 7:31 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   clumber

      Yup. My dad is convinced that his job title in hell will be plumber.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 11:39 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Joe Mama

    If I *really* want to flush some of these things (like canvas, pesticides, wood, etc), then is it cool if I *eat* them and then poop them out into the toilet?

    Sep 30, 2009 at 7:53 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   unholyghost2003 bang

    Why can’t I flush pet wastes? I promise you my dog’s turds are smaller than my husband’s.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 8:04 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   GhostWriter bang

    OK guys, I finally scrubbed down the toilet, but we’ve still got a problem – I’m not allowed to flush the soap.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 8:40 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   adnoxious

    Reason #1 to become a plumber: You get to make AWESOME signs.

    Als0- does “Feces Only” mean you can’t pee in the toilet?

    Sep 30, 2009 at 8:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Canthz_B bang

      And yet you continue to post your lousy ads…tacky, very tacky.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   imo® bang

    So I guess running my roommate through a wood chipper and flushing them away isn’t going to work?

    Sep 30, 2009 at 8:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Dark Passage

      Trying to get the men’s room attendant in Tajikistan to wrap his head around the idiomatic excuse of “My roommate is a piece of shit” seems needlessly risky considering the very emphatic appearance of the sign (and the unknown nature of the penalties)

      Much safer to wait until your itinerary brings you back to someplace where Engrish is on the throne.

      The other four don’t specifically mention roommates or Bony Burger, so as long as you prep him carefully to remove any plastic spoons, coffee stirrers, paper napkins, and those pesky International Delight coffee creamers that are the reason you’re tossing his ass into that Asplundh-o-matic, well you should be, um, good to go!

      Sep 30, 2009 at 10:44 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   Gandalf

      No, You can flush the roommate, but you must clean the chipper of any wood first,

      Sep 30, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   Prints Charmin

      Best way to clean the chipper is with a high-pressure nozzle. *

      But remember to wipe the chipper down afterward, clean and dry.

      Remember, the job ain’t over ’til the paperwork’s done.

      * Infield-fly rule is in effect here.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 2:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   GhostWriter bang

    I normally oppose five notes together, but this series is simply masterful. Just the right length, and the last two pieces are chock-full of mysterious tidbits and warm memories.

    Sorta like my last poop.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 8:56 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   jjdonkey

    I guess what concerns me the most is the Dentist Clip Art used for the “No Bulimia” Poster. Was she looking for “CLIP ART WITH AN OPEN MOUTH” or “THINGS IN THE MOUTH THAT COULD MAKE YOU GAG”.? I’m lost.

    Clip art is serious business.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 9:09 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Mike

      That’s just what makes “Thx Sandra” so special!

      Whatever happened to RunBarbara anyway?

      Sep 30, 2009 at 9:37 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   hellocello

      I think tooth decay is a side-effect of bulimia. All that acid in your stomach isn’t good on the teeth.

      Thnx Sandra’s message reveals itself in stages.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 10:34 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.3   Meesh

      She is truly a visionary.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 11:23 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.4   THX SANDRA

      THX

      Sep 30, 2009 at 11:49 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.5   imo® bang

      RunBarbara is currently serving 3-7 in a woman’s chain gang… It was noisy at the time so I may have mis-heard that.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 1:43 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   artie

    Those are 5 reasons to be glad you are a plumber…each one of them means easy money for 5 minutes of work.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 9:34 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Stream of bat's piss

    Does that mean I can dump my cat and dog shit in the crapper that says ‘feces only?’

    Sep 30, 2009 at 10:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   thirty six red

    Cheese should be smeared on the nearest hotel lobby door- not flushed down the toilet. Try to remember this.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 11:19 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   pony girl bang

      What is with all this inappropriate use of cheese?
      When did that start?

      Sep 30, 2009 at 5:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   Clarissa

      Why wasn’t I aware of that?!

      Sep 30, 2009 at 5:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   farcical aquatic ceremony

    Is no one else concerned about the fact that this dentist has SO MANY barfing women in his office? Maybe he’s sticking that thingie* too far down everyone’s throats; I hate that.

    (*I present to you a clear–ahem–opening for salaciousness)

    Sep 30, 2009 at 11:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Meesh

      My dentist calls that tool “Mr. Thirsty.”

      Sep 30, 2009 at 11:27 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   bowloftoast bang

      Has Mr. Thirsty ever tried to play the back nine?

      Sep 30, 2009 at 12:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.3   imo® bang

      *Had no idea dentists were so depraved*

      http://www.ktvu.com/news/17862627/detail.html

      Sep 30, 2009 at 1:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.4   pony girl bang

      that’s what my ex used to call it

      Sep 30, 2009 at 5:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Stream of bat's piss

    Is that why I always feel so funny when the anesthetic wears off?

    Sep 30, 2009 at 12:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Canthz_B bang

    Do unto others as you would have others do unto you…don’t flush another.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 12:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   Clarissa

      Ok, I’m sorry, CB. Won’t do that again.

      But it’s not like I covered you in cheese first or anything.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 5:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   Joshua

    Is it just me, or are the passive aggressive notes that are posted on here getting less and less passive aggressive? I might just be jilted because I submitted an awesome example of passive aggressiveness in truest form and it has not been posted….or maybe I just don’t understand what passive aggressiveness actually is.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 12:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Frankie bang

    go here. Maybe that will help you understand Joshua…

    Sep 30, 2009 at 1:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   Beth

      That didn’t help me understand Joshua at all. Perhaps nothing can.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 2:14 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.2   Clarissa

      Joshua is a very complex human being, really.

      Sep 30, 2009 at 5:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.3   Joshua

      I went on the journey to “here” to try to understand. I was sort of expecting a snowy himalaya thing with a temple on the top. I’m afraid the attempted self-discovery was fruitless.

      Oct 1, 2009 at 12:13 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   The Mayor of Bethville

    Heavy cream, butter, AND cheese. Someone was clearly making Toilet Mac.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 2:36 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   BlackMarketBeagle

      We do that in woman’s prison. You got to do what you got to do.
      Ya know?

      Sep 30, 2009 at 3:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   The Commish

    I don’t know about you, but my flushing-appropriate waste is a bigger job than my “throw up.” Maybe it’s ’cause I eat a lot of bran, and when I throw up I’m usually drunk and it’s just beer and vodka anyway.

    Sep 30, 2009 at 6:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   sexy_angelina bang

    hahahah i love the dentist notes!
    very funny!

    Oct 1, 2009 at 3:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Trish

    Why the picture of the dentist on the note about throwing up?

    Oct 1, 2009 at 9:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Neeners

    Hey novel idea- how bout just number one & two in the toilet?
    They make these big round bins for other stuff so throw all your cheese, sticks and art supplies in there.
    By the way if you could quit crapping in the big round bin and use the toilet please. Our trash bins just can’t handle that sort of ‘big job’.

    Oct 1, 2009 at 9:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Iphy

    The sad part is that people DO flush all sorts of stuff and nonsense down toilets other than their bodily wastes. My husband is a building engineer and is the unfortunate soul who has to deal with toilets clogged with bizarre objects. People think pipes are huge and can take anything; that’s absolutely not the case. The office building has found it necessary to post signs about the items that create the most nuisance – paper towels and sanitary napkins – because people attempt to flush them all the time.

    Oct 3, 2009 at 8:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   bobby

    Big Jobs like Throw Up is my favorite phrase of 2008.

    Oct 5, 2009 at 12:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Things not to flush down the toilet: your hopes, your dreams…your sweaters | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Please do not flush…anything. [...]

    Sep 2, 2010 at 11:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Diagnosis: Toilet (an exercise in psychoceramics) | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Five reasons to be glad you’re not a plumber [...]

    Jan 16, 2011 at 6:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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