Entries from October 2009

Jerk-o-lanterns

October 29th, 2009 · 157 Comments

Chris in Valdosta, Georgia came home last Halloween Eve to find this friendly reminder taped to every mailbox in his quiet little cul-de-sac. (“It’s a little worse for wear,” Chris explains, “because I ripped it off and stomped it on a few times before scanning it.”)

A reminder from your neighborhood preacher

The underlying message, interestingly enough, actually isn’t all that different from this one, by an unhappy Halloween celebrant in Somersworth, New Hampshire.

Whoever stole my Pumpkin, I hope you ROTT [sic] IN HELL.

Meanwhile, Jake in Grand Rapids, Michigan came home last Halloween to this glowing display in his living room. “Apparently my roommate and his girlfriend had spent all day working on them,” Jake says. “I don’t think he was mad at me for any one particular thing, but he did this sort of thing on a fairly regular basis…which made living with him pretty entertaining.”

FUCK YOU JAKE...DIE

related: Pumpkin with a death wish

Tags: Halloween · holiday spirit · Jesus · roommates · you're like so going to hell

The half-donut bandit

October 28th, 2009 · 203 Comments

As we’ve noted here before, the white-collar nuisance known as the nibbler has been pathetically picking his (half)way through office kitchenettes across the land for some time now.

While the nibbler’s actions are usually met with disdain, one oh-so-compassionate office-worker from Omaha decided to take a different approach — an e-mail intervention, of sorts. I’d also be interested to see his advice for Mike in Cleveland, who seems to have similar delusions about the health impact of eating 9 donuts instead of 10.

(click the image below to enlarge)

passivaggressivenotes.com:

The kicker? As it turns out, according to our anonymous submitter,”the bandit was, in fact, a guy!”

related: Just take the whole slice next time, okay?

Tags: all-staff e-mail · food · office · pleasantries as afterthought

Aunt Myrtle was always ahead of her time

October 27th, 2009 · 112 Comments

Caitlin was browsing in an antique store in Waco, Texas when she ran across this gem dated April 4, 1910. So if you’ve ever heard someone blame passive-aggressive birthday badgering on this new-fangled facetweet technology…well, you might want to refer them to Vera.

passiveaggressivenotes.com - 1910 birthday postcard from Aunt Myrtle

Aunt Myrtle was always ahead of her time (the front of the postcard)

related: happy birthday. here’s the shovel.

Tags: birthday

You gotta hand it to HR…

October 26th, 2009 · 136 Comments

With morale at many companies coasting towards all-time lows, those peppy human resources specialists keep coming up with new budget-conscious ways to keep us worker bees happily humming along. To wit: “Popcorn Thursday.” Sounds like a total blast, right?

you gotta hand it to HR...

Meanwhile, an anonymous post-it writer in Denver speaks up for how employees really feel about these “morale boosters.”

passiveaggressivenotes.com: 1 easy way to reward employees

related: A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands

Tags: a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · office · party planning committee

…since we’re a community

October 25th, 2009 · 147 Comments

Chris in Providence brings us this show-stopper from the Computer Science department at Brown University. My head is still spinning a little bit.

cream cheese in the fridge with diamonds

Meanwhile, in Lake Forest, California…

Dear Bagel Thief

related: the nerd’s guide to passive-aggressive behavior

Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · signed with love · stealing

Thanks…I guess?

October 22nd, 2009 · 176 Comments

writes our anonymous submitter in Cleveland: “My roommate Mike is usually a generous guy, but he’s very possessive of his coffee, beef jerky, and other certain food indulgences. This note was sort of touching; he didn’t want to share, made that clear, but then decided he probably should — not for me though, but for his waistline.  What a sweetheart!”

passiveaggressivenotes.com: Thanks...I guess?

related: you’re not wrong, walter

Tags: Cleveland · food · sharing is caring

Feel free to share the happy news

October 21st, 2009 · 126 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I know Carl to have done exactly what she’s saying — cheat on her and lie to the girls saying he didn’t have a girlfriend. But still, a mass e-mail? Really? I’m not even on her friends list…so did she send it to his friends?” (The “k-hole,” by the way, reportedly refers to the apartment in which Carl lives.)

passiveaggressivenotes.com: bitter ex-girlfriend spills her guts about her cheating ex-boyfriend

related: When targeted advertising on Facebook goes terribly, horribly wrong

Tags: breakup · ex drama · Facebook

Raging against the little guy

October 20th, 2009 · 187 Comments

Kellye from Huntsville, Alabama spotted these notes posted on boarded-up diner during last month’s G20 summit in Pittsburgh.

Explains Kellye: “The broken windows were caused by a few rowdy anarchists/drunk college kids from Oakland who apparently missed the mark in their defiance of the man. Since the vandals represented only a very small cross-section of protesters involved, other more local-friendly civil disobedients apparently saw fit to apologize for in their stead and offer their respectful patronage.”

related: silent protest

Tags: heart · note wars · Pittsburgh · raging against the machine · spelling and grammar police · Starbucks

You’re very welcome!

October 20th, 2009 · 136 Comments

Jonathan, John and Michael  share a roof deck with their next-door neighbors in San Francisco, who Jonathan says “repeatedly, and seemingly sincerely, invited us to use their barbecue grill any old time.”

One weekend, JJ&M decided to take them up on their offer. They organized a small cook-out for friends and (oh-so-thoughtfully) invited the neighbors to join. “They did,” Jonathan says, “and a good time was had by all.”

Then, the next day, this gracious thank-you note was slipped under their door.

passiveaggressivenotes: Thank you note: You're very welcome!

related: blowing smoke

Tags: neighbors · San Francisco · sharing is caring · thanks (but not really)

The perils of the accidental reply-all

October 18th, 2009 · 179 Comments

A helpful reminder: When talking shit about your coworker (like “E”) via e-mail, you (unlike “C”) probably want to be extra sure you don’t confuse “FWD” with “reply all.” Just a thought!

Hope you get some rest!

related: why facebook is so gonna get you fired

Tags: e-mail · office · Oops?