Laura in Los Angeles spotted this note at a tropical-themed family restaurant in Rosemead, California, where aquariums figure heavily into the decor. The biggest fish, Laura says, occupies his (her?) own tank at the front of the restaurant.
Piscine body image issues aside, as a former casual-dining restaurant hostess — a job that generally means bearing the brunt of the bullshit from pissy customers, stressed-out servers, and douche-nozzle managers with very little power to make anyone happy — I can certainly empathize with the note writer…though I highly doubt it’s actually eliminated the litany of the “oh, that poor fish!” comments that inspired it.
related: no, yuppie, my cow’s not starving
164 responses so far ↓
#1
e
happy fish is happy.
Oct 7, 2009 at 11:55 pm rating: 17
#2
SARAH
happy fish isnt only happy… he was kind of creepy too.
Oct 7, 2009 at 11:58 pm rating: 1
#3
felina
They could start a ‘bigger tank fund.’ I mean, the fish does need a bigger tank. Just sayin’.
Oct 7, 2009 at 11:59 pm rating: 31
#4
Kelly
Oh Rufus, I feel your pain. People tell me all of the time that I need bigger jeans, just because I have to keep my jeans unbuttoned and the fly down. Look folks, to get bigger jeans than these size 28s, I would need to get them custom made, and I can’t afford that! Stop making me feel fat, with your repressive, misogynistic, media-fed ideas of “beauty” and “indecent exposure.”
Rufus, you are a BBF (big, beautiful fish) and don’t you let anyone try to dim your inner light.
United in the struggle,
Kelly
Oct 8, 2009 at 12:03 am rating: 74
#5
jes
sure that isn’t in North Port Florida? I swear i’ve seen the same note at Olde World
Oct 8, 2009 at 12:04 am rating: 2
#6
Chad
I’ll bet Rufus would taste terrible.
Oct 8, 2009 at 12:33 am rating: 4
#7
penfold
Boycott fish displays
Oct 8, 2009 at 12:51 am rating: 4
#8
pony girl
I am not happy you stupid bitch.
I am bored out of my freaking mind.
This is not my natural habitat.
Just because I’ve been enslaved in this damn glass box for 3 decades does not mean that I enjoy it.
and to add insult to injury, all I have to look at are a bunch of tourists.
Sincerely,
Spike
(no, my name is not Rufus/Rufina you morons!)
Oct 8, 2009 at 12:57 am rating: 45
#9
JetJackson
Is that blacklight there to stop Rufus from finding a vein and booting up smack.
I think we should have an intervention.
Oct 8, 2009 at 1:06 am rating: 8
#10
Canthz_B
You don’t like where I live? EAT ME!
Oct 8, 2009 at 1:06 am rating: 17
#11
Dara
The fish is 32 and doesn’t know its gender? I know some humans like that.
*not that there is anything wrong with that
Oct 8, 2009 at 1:08 am rating: 12
#12
Canthz_B
How expensive can ichthyopsychotherapy possibly be?
Oct 8, 2009 at 1:17 am rating: 26
#13
me
I think he/she needs a hug
Oct 8, 2009 at 1:29 am rating: 3
#14
bowloftoast
Of course the fish is happy, they’re feeding it doughnuts and bagels.
Oct 8, 2009 at 1:41 am rating: 7
#15
Canthz_B
If Rufus wore glasses he would look uncannily like The Incredible Mr. Limpet.
Don Knotts falling overboard and turning into a fucking cartoon character is why I never learned to swim.
Well, that and black people sink.
Oct 8, 2009 at 1:58 am rating: 16
#16
Elle
THAT IS THE CUTEST THING EVAR. !!!!!!!!.
Oct 8, 2009 at 2:06 am rating: 2
#17
Canthz_B
Rufus/ina is being neglected. No plastic shipwreck complete with diver in diving helmet?
The least they can do is properly furnish the place.
Oct 8, 2009 at 2:16 am rating: 13
#18
KB
4 exclaimation marks is a long way from fine. Terry Pratchett tells us the 5 is a sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head so 4 is clearly someone on the tipping point of sanity
Oct 8, 2009 at 2:58 am rating: 15
#19
VentureSister
It’s probably bullshit that the fish is happy, but if they grow to their tank then it’s totally up to the restaurant. They probably just don’t want to deal with the problem of getting a bigger tank, having it grow and then having whiny tourists start back up again about the cruelty and the humanity!
Oct 8, 2009 at 3:17 am rating: 3
#20
anglophile
Big fish in a small pond, huh, Rufus?
Try going out into the real world. See what that does for your precarious self-esteem.
Oct 8, 2009 at 4:24 am rating: 16
#21
jjuice
That poor fish has no friends….or else he/she would KNOW it was fat….someone give it a mirror.
Oct 8, 2009 at 4:53 am rating: 4
#22
Woman on the Verge
Everyone knows that transgender fish thrive in diminutive environments with flatteringly diffuse lighting. That note, however, is suspect. As resident Sharpie Queen, I happen to know that they do not write that well underwater.
Oct 8, 2009 at 6:26 am rating: 14
#23
Jacksarmy
Here’s the thing… pacu’s can grow to well over 30 inches and that will happen whether they are in a 50gal tank or a 250gal tank. If he/she isn’t in at the very least a a 250-300gal tank then he/she IS feeling cramped and can’t properly swim. This has nothing to do with him/her feeling fat… this is the facts. Poor Rufus/ina, at least he/she gets lots of visitors.
Oct 8, 2009 at 7:39 am rating: 13
#24
Seitz
Gotta be the Bahooka. Do yourself a favor. If you find yourself on Rosemead Blvd on your way to this restaurant, keep driving to the In-N-Out about 100 yards away.
Oct 8, 2009 at 7:45 am rating: 2
#25
Critical Grass
I once had a little fish in a little tank, it was cute and all. But then, it started to grow, so a bought a bigger tank, and that kept going until the day I gave up on it. So, the not-so-little fish, noticing my lack of attention toward its needs of a bigger space to swim, simply took its own life by jumping out of the tank. I feel that’s about to happen to Rufus/ina.
An intervention is needed.
Oct 8, 2009 at 7:59 am rating: 7
#26
dragon
of course he/she/it is happy. happy cows come from california, why shouldn’t the fish be just as happy?
Oct 8, 2009 at 8:33 am rating: 2
#27
GhostWriter
Wacky Optical Illusion: Stare at Rufus’s face for a while, and suddenly it looks like he’s got two faces; one shark-looking face on the right, and the regular one on the left.
I like to call the left one “Rufina,” and the right one “Rufus.”
Oct 8, 2009 at 9:08 am rating: 4
#28
NoAdditives
But that fish DOES need a bigger tank! Any fish that size needs a large aquarium. Hell, even smaller fish need a large aquarium! No one would keep a parrot or a rabbit in something that small, why should a fish be trapped in such a tiny home?
Oct 8, 2009 at 9:13 am rating: 7
#29
Stream of bat's piss
Smells like fish,
tastes like chicken.
Oct 8, 2009 at 9:16 am rating: 2
#30
Waaahmbulance
HEY GUYS, LET’S ALL START CARING ABOUT WHAT A FISH THINKS!!
Oct 8, 2009 at 9:30 am rating: 3
#31
Critical Grass
Les yeux sans visage …ayuda el pez!
I’m 32 years of age
For heaven’s sake, ayuda el pez!
Oct 8, 2009 at 9:47 am rating: 2
#32
RoxyBlue
Hi, my name is Rufus and I am alone because I eat other fish.
Oct 8, 2009 at 9:53 am rating: 7
#33
Critical Grass
You sure don’t look fine to me, Rufus/ina. Look at those dead-fish eyes..
Oct 8, 2009 at 10:48 am rating: 3
#34
Rufus
Mannn…. that fish needs a bigger tank.
Oct 8, 2009 at 10:51 am rating: 11
#35
mystic_eye_cda
You know if that was here the SPCA would investigate.
I’m not kidding.
A couple of my neighbours are having a fight over some damage. The neighbour whose house caused the damage would only pay if provided with a receipt because the amount was absurd. So they’ve been fighting back and forth for years. So the neighbour that thinks he’s owed the money called decided to report the other guy to the SPCA. Now this guy has two cats, a dog, and a kid. So the neighbour calls the provincial SPCA (who don’t really even have jurisdiction) over the guys KOI! And the SPCA drove over two hours to investigate the “cruelty” to the koi. They demanded access to the house (koi are in the yard) and the person they sent didn’t know anything about caring for fish to start with! It was all very stupid.
But yes, that’s right, the SPCA came to investigate whether the koi were adequately cared for.
Oct 8, 2009 at 11:06 am rating: 3
#36
aaa
Translation:
Just like we were to cheap to find a real webhost and pay money for a domain name, we’re too damn cheap to buy Rufus/Rufina a new tank. SO SUCK IT!
Oct 8, 2009 at 11:17 am rating: 2
#37
Chinchillazilla
Rufus… he’s the man.
Oct 8, 2009 at 3:05 pm rating: 2
#38
Pastroni
I so love that people care about that one poor fish, and yet are totally fine with slaughtering them by the thousands for a tuna sandwich. Awesome!
Oct 8, 2009 at 3:42 pm rating: 5
#39
imo®
I’d like to be under the sea in an cephalopods garden in the shade
Oct 8, 2009 at 4:05 pm rating: 6
#40
Guy Smiley
Apparently the Fish Whisperer works there as well.
(if someone else already said that, sue me)
Oct 8, 2009 at 5:02 pm rating: 1
#41
Yorkshire Puddin'
Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down at the fish plant, and pay the owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
And you try ‘n’ tell young people of today that ….. they won’t believe you.
Oct 8, 2009 at 11:58 pm rating: 1
#42
AuntyBron
You’d think, being 32 years old, the fish would know whether it’s a Rufus or a Rufina….
Just thinking out loud here.
Oct 9, 2009 at 11:52 pm rating: 1
#43
Smarmy
I thought he looked like an oscar, i’ve raised two myself. each needed their own 50 gallon tank. that poor creature is going through some major stunt growth issues. i wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he’s tried killing himself by jumping out of the tank.
these are some good examples of what a good tank set up would look like,
http://www.cichlids.com/tank-examples/page/2.html
you have to keep in mind in the wild these types of fish live in tropical ponds with plenty of room. they grow to the size they are supposed to be, not the size the of the tank they are in.
So yes, i agree, the fish NEEDS a bigger tank. imagine only wearing one size shoe from the age of 9 up. your feet would grow, only they’d be stunted and in pain all of the time. That’s what this fish lives everyday.
Oct 11, 2009 at 9:56 pm rating: 0
#44
Lou
Too funny – I have actually “known” that Pacu for over 30 years. Whenever we would go there, we would ask the waitress to feed him carrots – he loves them!
Oct 12, 2009 at 4:56 pm rating: 0
#45
Inkberries
Funny. Didn’t know fish in tanks could live to the ripe old age of 32.
Oct 12, 2009 at 6:48 pm rating: 0
#46
InYourSleep
I’m gonna be honest and say it. holy shit, that is an ugly fish.
Oct 12, 2009 at 10:50 pm rating: 0
#47
Dani
Gay fish, yo.
(Mutha#*$&ing gay fish)
I’m a fish, yo.
Oct 13, 2009 at 3:47 pm rating: 0
#48
Wayne
Such a tragedy – that this of sll things garners so much response – a certain sign that we are as a nation terrified of facing the day
Oct 16, 2009 at 6:06 am rating: 0
#49
Wayne
Such a tragedy – that this of sll things garners so much response – a certain sign that we are as a nation terrified of facing the day
Oct 16, 2009 at 6:06 am rating: 0
#50
Emma
Awww, poor Rufus is a q-t.
Dec 9, 2009 at 9:19 am rating: 0
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