The Patty Hearst of fish

October 7th, 2009 · 164 comments

Laura in Los Angeles spotted this note at a tropical-themed family restaurant in Rosemead, California, where aquariums figure heavily into the decor. The biggest fish, Laura says, occupies his (her?) own tank at the front of the restaurant.

Piscine body image issues aside, as a former casual-dining restaurant hostess  — a job that generally means bearing the brunt of the bullshit from pissy customers, stressed-out servers, and douche-nozzle managers with very little power to make anyone happy — I can certainly empathize with the note writer…though I highly doubt it’s actually eliminated the litany of  the “oh, that poor fish!” comments that inspired it.

Hi! My name is Rufus (or Rufina) I am 32 years old! I have been in this tank my whole life and I LOVE it here! Please don't say I need a bigger tank, it just makes me feel FAT! (I can't afford therapy!) I am fine really!!!!

passiveaggressivenotes.com: help, my fish has stockholm syndrome!

related: no, yuppie, my cow’s not starving

FILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · California · exclamation-point happy!!!! · fish · restaurant


164 responses so far ↓

  • #1   e

    happy fish is happy.

    Oct 7, 2009 at 11:55 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   SARAH

    happy fish isnt only happy… he was kind of creepy too.

    Oct 7, 2009 at 11:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   felina

    They could start a ‘bigger tank fund.’ I mean, the fish does need a bigger tank. Just sayin’.

    Oct 7, 2009 at 11:59 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      oooh good plan! start a “Tank Fund” so that people can donate instead of bitching. Then the staff can use the money to get TANKED!

      Oct 8, 2009 at 9:28 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   GhostWriter bang

      Didn’t Dick Cheney start a “Bigger Tank Fund” back in 2003? It’s gotta be up to a trillion by now.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 9:39 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Kelly

    Oh Rufus, I feel your pain. People tell me all of the time that I need bigger jeans, just because I have to keep my jeans unbuttoned and the fly down. Look folks, to get bigger jeans than these size 28s, I would need to get them custom made, and I can’t afford that! Stop making me feel fat, with your repressive, misogynistic, media-fed ideas of “beauty” and “indecent exposure.”

    Rufus, you are a BBF (big, beautiful fish) and don’t you let anyone try to dim your inner light.

    United in the struggle,
    Kelly

    Oct 8, 2009 at 12:03 am   rating: 74  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   AuntyBron

      Why did I picture Richard Simmons when I read this?

      Oct 8, 2009 at 11:18 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Sue Do Nim

      ‘Cause he’s a BBF? A balding, bloated, um…not fish…er…you know…

      Oct 8, 2009 at 4:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   mamason bang

      Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 4:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   jes

    sure that isn’t in North Port Florida? I swear i’ve seen the same note at Olde World

    Oct 8, 2009 at 12:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Canthz_B bang

      Are you insinuating that the PANGoddess is up to something fishy?

      Oct 8, 2009 at 1:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   amazon

      That is Bahooka’s! They have fish tanks throughout the entire restraunt, and serve these awesome “Flaming Bowl” drinks. Tacky as hell, but fun.

      Fun fact: Rufus/ina was in “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”

      http://www.geocities.com/bahookarestaurant/welcome.htm

      Oct 8, 2009 at 1:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   jjuice

      Hmmm I see they do jalapeno poppers in the appetizers…..I thought this was a family restaurant…..

      Oct 8, 2009 at 4:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Snobahr

      Bahookas has over a hundred fish tanks. My friends and I go there at least once a month. We’ve been going there for over 20 years.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 10:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Critical Grass

      Their t-shirts should have Rufus’ picture on them.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 11:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   aaa bang

      This restaurant has their official website on Geocities? Classy…

      Oct 8, 2009 at 11:13 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   anglophile bang

      eh, who needs to go spend the extra 20 bucks a year for the domain name, aaa? I mean, look at the web design they’ve already sunk their money into. They have dynamic menu buttons! How much classier can you get?

      p.s. I dare you to try to read the entire History page.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 1:01 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   clumber

      CURSE YOU PHILE!

      Clumber, now tottering off to take up the dare… why the hell was i hardwired with an inability to ignore dares….

      update: Whew… that may be the only time I have been relieved to see the annoying WebSense block banner… I still win the dare, though. so MLAH! >8^P

      Oct 8, 2009 at 3:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Chad

    I’ll bet Rufus would taste terrible.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 12:33 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   unfortun8one

      Yeah, but you get your picture on the wall if you eat me.

      Signed,
      Rufus/The Big 96er

      Oct 9, 2009 at 1:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   penfold

    Boycott fish displays

    Oct 8, 2009 at 12:51 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   pony girl bang

    I am not happy you stupid bitch.
    I am bored out of my freaking mind.
    This is not my natural habitat.
    Just because I’ve been enslaved in this damn glass box for 3 decades does not mean that I enjoy it.
    and to add insult to injury, all I have to look at are a bunch of tourists.
    Sincerely,
    Spike
    (no, my name is not Rufus/Rufina you morons!)

    Oct 8, 2009 at 12:57 am   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   JetJackson

      p.s. WTF is with the fluorescent rocks? This isn’t a rave!

      Oct 8, 2009 at 1:02 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   pony girl bang

      ya know, the least they could do is give him some blinds for when he wants to be private with himself

      Oct 8, 2009 at 9:07 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   AuntyBron

      Luckily, Spike/Rufus/Rufina is a fish and forgot his/her rant 2 seconds later.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 11:20 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Sirius¤ bang

      I am not happy you stu- Oh, look, bubbles!

      Oct 8, 2009 at 12:59 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   oi

      Oh, look, bub-
      when they’ll give me foo~
      Oh, look, bub-
      need food~
      Oh, look, bubbl~
      food?

      Oct 8, 2009 at 1:03 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Hello, and welcome to ‘The Middle of the Film’, the moment where we take a break to invite you, the audience, to join us, the film-makers, in ‘Find the Fish’. We’re going to show you a scene from another film and ask you to guess where the fish is, but, if you think you know, don’t keep it to yourselves. Yell out so that all the cinema can hear you. So, here we are with… ‘Find the Fish’.

      Oct 9, 2009 at 8:37 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   Canaduck

      Good grief, pony girl. Well said.

      Poor Spike. :(

      Oct 11, 2009 at 11:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   JetJackson

    Is that blacklight there to stop Rufus from finding a vein and booting up smack.

    I think we should have an intervention.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 1:06 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    You don’t like where I live? EAT ME!

    Oct 8, 2009 at 1:06 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Critical Grass

      Boy… If I had a penny for every time I heard that one…

      Oct 8, 2009 at 8:18 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   se

      or $10.00 for every time you obeyed?

      Oct 8, 2009 at 9:21 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   AuntyBron

      Sauteed or barbequed?

      Oct 8, 2009 at 11:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I think the current charge is a bit more than $10.00 , unless you are at a truck stop…

      Oct 8, 2009 at 12:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Boomshine

      That fish was fucking delicious!!

      Oct 8, 2009 at 11:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Dara

    The fish is 32 and doesn’t know its gender? I know some humans like that.

    *not that there is anything wrong with that

    Oct 8, 2009 at 1:08 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Critical Grass

      Well, I think the fish knows its own gender, but the people close to it don’t. Which is still relatable to some human situations, I guess.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 8:20 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   I'll Fry Instead

      Victor/Victoria
      Glen/Glenda
      Rufus/Rufina

      Wasn’t Rufus the guy who played the, um, lead in “The Frying Game”?

      Don’t want to fry when there’s people there, I get shy when
      They start to stare, I’m gonna hide myself away, ay hay;
      But I’ll come back again someday.
      And when I do you’d better hide all the girls, I’m gonna
      Break their hearts all ’round the world. Yes, I’m gonna
      Break them in two, and show you what your loving man can
      Do, until then I’ll fry instead.

      Oct 9, 2009 at 12:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    How expensive can ichthyopsychotherapy possibly be?

    Oct 8, 2009 at 1:17 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   clumber

      10 points per syllable, Canthz! You are now in the lead!

      Oct 8, 2009 at 3:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   The CBO Estimate

      Ichthyopsychotherapy costs?

      Please specify:
      (a) freshwater, or,
      (b) saltwater.

      Typical annual out-of-pocket expenses (based on average co-pays) are:

      (1) Less than an extravagant lobster dinner, but,

      (2) More than you’d find at the bottom of a typical fountain, wishing well, or, well, fish tank.

      And fish-accessible cabfare, don’t get me started!

      Oct 8, 2009 at 11:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   me

    I think he/she needs a hug :(

    Oct 8, 2009 at 1:29 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   bowloftoast bang

    Of course the fish is happy, they’re feeding it doughnuts and bagels.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 1:41 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    If Rufus wore glasses he would look uncannily like The Incredible Mr. Limpet.

    Don Knotts falling overboard and turning into a fucking cartoon character is why I never learned to swim.
    Well, that and black people sink.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 1:58 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   pony girl bang

      Attaboy, Luther!

      oh, sorry, wrong movie.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 2:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Critical Grass

      Nope… Black people don’t sink, CB. They tell us that because they don’t want a higher level competition on the Olimpics. They settled for Michael Phelps.

      ;)

      Oct 8, 2009 at 7:42 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Elle

    THAT IS THE CUTEST THING EVAR. !!!!!!!!.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 2:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Canthz_B bang

    Rufus/ina is being neglected. No plastic shipwreck complete with diver in diving helmet?
    The least they can do is properly furnish the place.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 2:16 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   KB

    4 exclaimation marks is a long way from fine. Terry Pratchett tells us the 5 is a sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head so 4 is clearly someone on the tipping point of sanity

    Oct 8, 2009 at 2:58 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Give them some dried frog pills and stop shooting your crossbow over thier heads then.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 3:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   VentureSister

    It’s probably bullshit that the fish is happy, but if they grow to their tank then it’s totally up to the restaurant. They probably just don’t want to deal with the problem of getting a bigger tank, having it grow and then having whiny tourists start back up again about the cruelty and the humanity!

    Oct 8, 2009 at 3:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   GhostWriter bang

      Electric blue makes any living space seem smaller than it really is. If they painted the inside of the aquarium a light eggshell, it would really open up.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 9:51 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   snuzzle

      Women’s feet grow to the size of their shoe too, but foot binding is illegal now. Know why? It’s painful, disgusting, and causes all kinds of complications and infections.

      And that’s just a foot, with no vital internal organs in it.

      Fish have a finite size they will grow to, like people. If they just bought the right size tank in the first place, they wouldn’t have these problems.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 6:11 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Mark bang

      Right, because a fish floating/swimming freely in a tank of water is EXACTLY the same thing as a constrictive shoe on a human foot. :roll:

      Oct 8, 2009 at 6:25 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Boolean Dilemma

      Well the biological and topological similarities ARE so close to an isomorphic mapping that it is used as an example in nearly every logic textbook….except the ones used in China.

      What is still only an unsupported conjecture is that black people don’t swim well because they are unconsciously failing in solidarity with Chinese women who were subjected to the cruelty of foot-binding.

      Andrew Wiles, who succeeded in proving Fermat’s Last Theorem through the modularity conjecture for elliptic curves, claims to have found a “marvellous proof” of this conjecture, but colleagues have criticized it on (among others) the grounds that it does not explain why Tim Duncan was a swimmer in college before he switched to basketball.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 11:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   Kat

      “, but if they grow to their tank then it’s totally up to the restaurant. ”

      No, fish have a max size. Aquariums, like any other ecosystem, have a carrying capacity. When a fish is placed in an ill fitting aquarium one of the problems that is encountered is the maxing out of this capacity. The nitrogen cycle is disrupted and ammonia builds up. Too much ammonia is toxic to the fish. Another concern is the fish’s ability to move. Fish deserve to be able to turn around in their tank and have some space to swim. Just because they don’t snuggle with us in bed or greet us at the door does not mean they deserve less than adequate care.

      Oct 10, 2009 at 10:49 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.6   Kat

      “Right, because a fish floating/swimming freely in a tank of water is EXACTLY the same thing as a constrictive shoe on a human foot.”

      Actually it can be. Improper conditions can impact the growth of a fish. And no reason to get huffy. God forbid someone suggests people be responsible pet owners.

      Oct 10, 2009 at 10:53 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.7   Canthz_B bang

      He should at least forbid that sort of thing on a website populated mostly by people who aren’t being serious about anything they read or write there…because they mostly don’t care to have the obvious preached to them.
      They usually just make fun of the bleeding heart that felt the need to lecture them.

      HUFF!!

      Oct 10, 2009 at 11:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.8   Canthz_B bang

      snuzzle…what?!

      Women’s feet grow to the size of their shoes?!
      So if I make a girl start wearing size 16 shoes at age two, her feet will grow to size 16? Do feet that are never subjected to footwear grow indefinitely?

      Bound feet grow to the size the foot would have grown to by nature…they just become horribly misshapen in the process.

      Oct 10, 2009 at 11:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.9   anglophile bang

      That’s why I never got married and had kids, CB. All that barefoot-and-pregnant-in-the-kitchen bullshit mean I would have canoes for feet by now, instead of the pretty petite feet I have been able to maintain through the judicious use of size 6′s.

      Oct 11, 2009 at 8:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   anglophile bang

    Big fish in a small pond, huh, Rufus?

    Try going out into the real world. See what that does for your precarious self-esteem.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 4:24 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   jjuice

    That poor fish has no friends….or else he/she would KNOW it was fat….someone give it a mirror.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 4:53 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   park rose bang

      So, if that’s the Patty Hearst of fish, who is Laura? Where’s the LSD? and I wouldn’t argue with her about Rufina, ‘cos Laura’s got a pipe bomb and she knows how to use it.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 5:28 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   park rose bang

      Or maybe it is the potential fish patty of hearts. That’s why it keeps insisting it’s happy. What’s the alternative?

      Oct 8, 2009 at 6:06 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   jjuice

      LSD…Lesbian Sex Dungeon?

      Oct 8, 2009 at 6:46 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   Canthz_B bang

      jjuice, the fish used to have friends, but they crossed him and now sleep with Luca Brasi.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 8:43 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Rufus went to see the Codfather for help, a little favor to solve his problem.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 9:07 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.6   imo® bang

      ” you come to me on the eve of my daughters spawning and ask of me this favour?”

      Oct 8, 2009 at 9:14 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.7   MAMARILLA2 bang

      We have known each other many years, but this is the first time you’ve come to me for counsel or for help. I can’t remember the last time you invited me to your tank for a cup of meal worms, even though my wife is codmother to your thousands of childen. But let’s be frank here. You never wanted my friendship. And you feared to be in my debt.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 10:20 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.8   farcical aquatic ceremony

      a mirror would at least give him the i-looooooooo-sion of space (don’t know why, but I always think the word “illusion” with a long “ooooooo” sound…)

      plus, the fish could smooch himself non-stop with those cute little fish lips… (this may be covered under the earlier comment of his need to be private with himself)

      Oct 8, 2009 at 10:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.9   MAMARILLA2 bang

      They shot Finny on the threadway. He’s dead.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 1:08 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.10   imo® bang

      make the call I want a meeting with the heads of the seven seas!

      Oct 8, 2009 at 1:45 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.11   Gandalf

      This has become a whale of a tale

      Oct 8, 2009 at 2:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.12   MAMARILLA2 bang

      You talk about vengance. Is vengance going to bring your Trout back to you or my Finny to me? I forgo the vengance of my fish. But my youngest had to leave this ocean because of this business. So now I have to make arrangements to bring him back safely cleared of all these false charges. But I’m a supersticious man. And if some unluck accident should befall him, if he should be caught in the head by a fisherman, or if should hang himself from a pole with a hook, or if he’s struck by a bolt of lightening, then I’m going to blame some of the people in this room and that, I do not forgive. But, that aside, let say that I swear, on the souls of my grandroe, that I will not be the one to break the peace we have made here today.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 2:42 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Woman on the Verge bang

    Everyone knows that transgender fish thrive in diminutive environments with flatteringly diffuse lighting. That note, however, is suspect. As resident Sharpie Queen, I happen to know that they do not write that well underwater.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 6:26 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   park rose bang

      There’s something definitely finny about it, and it’s all out of scale.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 6:33 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   Bunnee

      Rose, you were supposed to fall for that hook, line and sinker!

      Oct 8, 2009 at 9:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   Bunnee

      Yep, it definitely sounds as if you weren’t fished in, Rose.

      *I can continue this pun thread all by myself, if need be

      Oct 8, 2009 at 10:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I think I’m getting a little green around the gills..

      Oct 8, 2009 at 10:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   AuntyBron

      Breathe, Mama, Breathe – in through the mouth, out through the gills.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 11:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.6   unholyghost2003 bang

      My mother is a fish.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 11:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.7   imo® bang

      Your mother is Mrs Kilgore Trout!?!?!?

      Oct 8, 2009 at 12:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.8   Mark bang

      Your mother was a hamster.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 12:45 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.9   imo® bang

      Dad smelled of elderberries.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 12:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.10   bowloftoast bang

      Fetchez la vache.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 1:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.11   anglophile bang

      I started to read this thread and was sure it was going to be a pun thread. Imagine my surprise when it turned into a quote thread. I guess the first couple of comments were a red herring.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 2:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.12   Mark bang

      I order you to be quiet, anglo, or I’ll make you cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with that herring!

      Oct 8, 2009 at 2:37 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.13   anglophile bang

      Mark, I am almost never sincere or honest when I post on PAN, but I am breaking that habit because I must say to you that the grandeur, magnificence and perfect beauty of that comment took my breath away.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 2:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.14   imo® bang

      What!? let’s go. oh!

      Oct 8, 2009 at 4:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.15   Fly Fishing Circus

      Cleese
      Idle
      Palin
      Chapman
      Gilliam
      Jones

      and a cast of thousands !

      Oct 9, 2009 at 12:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.16   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I wonder where that fish has gone? You did love it so, you treated it like a son.
      And it went… where-ever I… did go.
      [Bends perplexingly long arms]
      Is it in the cupboard? Wouldn’t you like to know! It is a most elusive fish.
      That went where-ever I did go.
      Oh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!
      A fish, a fish, a fishy OOOOH!
      Oh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!
      That went wherever I… did go!

      Oct 9, 2009 at 8:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.17   imo® bang

      one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish!

      Oct 9, 2009 at 8:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Jacksarmy

    Here’s the thing… pacu’s can grow to well over 30 inches and that will happen whether they are in a 50gal tank or a 250gal tank. If he/she isn’t in at the very least a a 250-300gal tank then he/she IS feeling cramped and can’t properly swim. This has nothing to do with him/her feeling fat… this is the facts. Poor Rufus/ina, at least he/she gets lots of visitors.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 7:39 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Act

      Are we sure it’s a pacu? Because if it is, there’s a pretty good chance it was falsely advertised as having a maximum length much smaller than in reality.

      Pacus aren’t meant to be hobby-fish, so hopefully that’s not what it is.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 8:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   GhostWriter bang

      The simplest way to keep a fish from growing too large for its tank is to trim its tail monthly.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 9:00 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   imo® bang

      And bob it’s dorsal as well. I read it on the internet.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 12:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   aqua nerd

      yup it most definitely is a pacu i help look after 10 of the lil (or not so little) buggers.

      Oct 21, 2009 at 3:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Seitz

    Gotta be the Bahooka. Do yourself a favor. If you find yourself on Rosemead Blvd on your way to this restaurant, keep driving to the In-N-Out about 100 yards away.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 7:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   anglophile bang

      OPEN LETTER TO ALL CALIFORNIANS: You are not the only state in the union with a restaurant chain that makes a passable burger. In-N-Out is not all that special.

      Yours in Wisconsin, where we have custard stands with passable hamburgers,

      anglophile

      Sorry, Mishee.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 2:38 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   oi

      OPEN LETTER TO ANGLOPHILE,
      Not every Californian is dumb crazy after some burger chain. Just yesterday I had yummy grilled egg plant burger w/ actual veggies on it. I hate those burger w/ Styrofoam patty(made of some mysterious ingredient) and a leaf of a lettuce on it.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 2:52 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   anglophile bang

      OPEN LETTER TO oi:

      I love eggplant.

      That is all.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 2:54 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   Mark bang

      OPEN LETTER TO angloi:

      Bacon is life.

      That is all.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 2:57 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.5   oi

      Open letter to Mark,
      I do not eat life.
      That is all.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 3:01 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      closed letter to self.
      is or isn’t fish meat…
      It isn’t alive when I buy it….
      they have me all confused,,,
      that’s not all.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 3:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.7   Mark bang

      Ajar letter to the Flying Spaghetti Monster,

      Vegetables could often be said to still be alive when bought. If planted in the ground under the right conditions, life may sprout from them. Alive.

      But both meat and fish could be said to be dead, not alive. If planted in the ground, they will always decay and stink. Dead.

      Now bring on the stripper factory and beer volcano. Let’s all get drunk and play ping-pong!

      Ramen.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 3:29 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.8   oi bang

      sneak peak letter
      sorry my bad, I do not eat stinking life.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 3:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.9   MAMARILLA2 bang

      kilted letter

      Ach. Then ya won’t be havin’ any o’ my Haggis , then, lassy?

      Oct 8, 2009 at 3:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.10   imo® bang

      Flashing letter
      I enjoy many things but one of them is not eating that so called crappy in-n-out burger. I have had better burgers in many other places. I do have an open mind however and try it to placate friends…
      It’s still crap.

      As you were, that is all.

      Brought to you by the letter Q

      Oct 8, 2009 at 4:16 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.11   Butterfly (Shrimp) McQueen

      Seafood Burger !

      Wanted !

      Dead or Alive !

      Oct 9, 2009 at 12:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.12   Seanette bang

      In-N-Out pretty much has the standard fast-food burger, OK but not great. The fries are great, though.

      My nearest In-N-Out also has the virtue of being open quite late, which helps when one member of the household a) works swing shift and b) has an aversion to drive-throughs.

      Oct 9, 2009 at 1:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.13   unfortun8one

      Eggplant burger? That’s not a burger. It’s f–king eggplant.

      Now, a fried egg burger? NUM!

      Oct 9, 2009 at 1:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Critical Grass

    I once had a little fish in a little tank, it was cute and all. But then, it started to grow, so a bought a bigger tank, and that kept going until the day I gave up on it. So, the not-so-little fish, noticing my lack of attention toward its needs of a bigger space to swim, simply took its own life by jumping out of the tank. I feel that’s about to happen to Rufus/ina.
    An intervention is needed.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 7:59 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   dragon bang

    of course he/she/it is happy. happy cows come from california, why shouldn’t the fish be just as happy?

    Oct 8, 2009 at 8:33 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Canaduck

      Yeah, except if you look at the happy cows come from California ads in depth, you realize that those cows are treated the exact same way as cows in every other state. (I.e., badly.)

      Oct 11, 2009 at 12:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   anglophile bang

      Poorly-treated dairy cows=low milk yields. Dairy cows are generally treated pretty well. I can’t speak on the beef cow topic.

      Oct 11, 2009 at 12:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   Canthz_B bang

      Dairy cows are supposed to be bony.
      Please stop calling the police on dairy farmers, you dumb city-folk!
      If you don’t know anything about dairy cows, stop sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong!
      Just go and ask the dairy farmer if he’s taking good care of his cows if you care so much.
      The last time the authorities were sent to my farm they nearly discovered my still!!

      Oct 11, 2009 at 12:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   GhostWriter bang

    Wacky Optical Illusion: Stare at Rufus’s face for a while, and suddenly it looks like he’s got two faces; one shark-looking face on the right, and the regular one on the left.

    I like to call the left one “Rufina,” and the right one “Rufus.”

    Oct 8, 2009 at 9:08 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   NoAdditives

    But that fish DOES need a bigger tank! Any fish that size needs a large aquarium. Hell, even smaller fish need a large aquarium! No one would keep a parrot or a rabbit in something that small, why should a fish be trapped in such a tiny home?

    Oct 8, 2009 at 9:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      you do realize that from those pictures you can’t tell how big (or small) the current tank is, right?

      Oct 8, 2009 at 9:24 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   GhostWriter bang

      That aquarium happens to be bigger than the bamboo POW cell that John McCain was held in for 35 years, and he doesn’t even need therapy.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 9:36 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   AuntyBron

      They say 1 gallon of water per inch of fish. I know cause I have fish. Of course they tend to die off on me (the sissies). My current fish are Frick and Frack, and Tweedledee and Tweedledum. There’s really no point in trying to tell them apart due to their high mortality rate.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 11:30 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.4   imo® bang

      There is a girl I know that keeps her pussy in a box. It seems perfectly adjusted and content.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 12:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.5   InYourSleep

      as long as she pets them enough. with her DICKBEATERS. (i crack me up)

      Oct 12, 2009 at 10:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Stream of bat's piss

    Smells like fish,
    tastes like chicken.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 9:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Waaahmbulance

    HEY GUYS, LET’S ALL START CARING ABOUT WHAT A FISH THINKS!!

    Oct 8, 2009 at 9:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Pers

      Why not? Rufus/ina cares what YOU think.

      Selfish.

      Get into the punishment tank…now!

      Oct 8, 2009 at 10:07 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   aaa bang

      I care what the fish thinks. But somehow I don’t care what the internet thinks….

      Oct 8, 2009 at 11:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   bowloftoast bang

      I don’t think the fish much likes your tone (and he definitely hates all-caps)

      Oct 8, 2009 at 2:04 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   Gandalf

      The fish hates all caps, and isn’t to keen on Waaahmbulance at the moment either, tone not withstanding.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 2:23 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.5   InYourSleep

      No…cuz that would mean…like…not using so many durn triple-dotz…

      Nov 23, 2009 at 9:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Critical Grass

    Les yeux sans visage …ayuda el pez!
    I’m 32 years of age
    For heaven’s sake, ayuda el pez!

    Oct 8, 2009 at 9:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   RoxyBlue

    Hi, my name is Rufus and I am alone because I eat other fish.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 9:53 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Critical Grass

    You sure don’t look fine to me, Rufus/ina. Look at those dead-fish eyes..

    Oct 8, 2009 at 10:48 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   AuntyBron

      and the lugubrious down-turn on the mouth.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 11:31 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Rufus

    Mannn…. that fish needs a bigger tank.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 10:51 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   mystic_eye_cda

    You know if that was here the SPCA would investigate.

    I’m not kidding.

    A couple of my neighbours are having a fight over some damage. The neighbour whose house caused the damage would only pay if provided with a receipt because the amount was absurd. So they’ve been fighting back and forth for years. So the neighbour that thinks he’s owed the money called decided to report the other guy to the SPCA. Now this guy has two cats, a dog, and a kid. So the neighbour calls the provincial SPCA (who don’t really even have jurisdiction) over the guys KOI! And the SPCA drove over two hours to investigate the “cruelty” to the koi. They demanded access to the house (koi are in the yard) and the person they sent didn’t know anything about caring for fish to start with! It was all very stupid.

    But yes, that’s right, the SPCA came to investigate whether the koi were adequately cared for.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 11:06 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Well if you’re going to get mean, call PETA. They will stake out the restaurant and generally make life hell until the fish is released in the wild where it will be eaten by something even larger that it is.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 12:52 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   Acronyms Inc.

      That SPCA and PETA are probably more concerned about the Waaahmbiance of the house or restaurant…gonna bring the owner(s) up on some kind of psychic torture beef.

      And you can talk about the risk of mystery dosing at your G.D. concerts…
      but there is nothing like the psychic bungee-jumping of chugging a steaming hot bowl of fugu soup.

      Oct 9, 2009 at 12:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   aaa bang

    Translation:

    Just like we were to cheap to find a real webhost and pay money for a domain name, we’re too damn cheap to buy Rufus/Rufina a new tank. SO SUCK IT!

    Oct 8, 2009 at 11:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Chinchillazilla

    Rufus… he’s the man.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 3:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Pastroni bang

    I so love that people care about that one poor fish, and yet are totally fine with slaughtering them by the thousands for a tuna sandwich. Awesome!

    Oct 8, 2009 at 3:42 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   anglophile bang

      Well, I’m not totally fine with it. Fish is a pathetic excuse for food. Blech.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 3:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   Mark bang

      Thousands of tuna in one sandwich? THAT would be a super-sized sandwich. Even without the fries.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 3:49 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   aaa bang

      I don’t care about that one poor fish or those thousands of slaughtered fish that end up on just that one sandwich. I do care about your blatant linkvertisement. :c

      Oct 8, 2009 at 3:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.4   imo® bang

      One fish or a thousand fish they are stupid man! If they were all smart and great they would walk on land or drive undersea cars and rock out to Ocean Rush music. So there! They totally deserve to get made into fish tacos and Mrs. Paul’s fish sticks. Which is important post beer pong food man.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 4:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.5   anglophile bang

      Nothing on this earth deserves fish sticks. To be made into them or to be made to eat them.

      Except maybe the genius at PETA who came up with sea kittens.

      :roll:

      Oct 8, 2009 at 5:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.6   aaa bang

      Land kitties are delicious, too.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 7:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.7   pony girl

      Wow, I didn’t think that I could actually loathe PETA anymore than I already did.

      Sea kittens? Cripes!

      Makes me want to go kill some land kittens.

      Oct 9, 2009 at 1:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   imo® bang

    I’d like to be under the sea in an cephalopods garden in the shade

    Oct 8, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      We would sing and dance around, because we know that we are completely hidden from view…

      Oct 13, 2009 at 10:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Guy Smiley

    Apparently the Fish Whisperer works there as well.

    (if someone else already said that, sue me)

    Oct 8, 2009 at 5:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   anglophile bang

      Really, Guy? You couldn’t read a measley 120 comments to be sure if your joke hadn’t already been made?

      Kids these days. Want the glory, don’t want any of the work. Sheesh.

      Oct 8, 2009 at 6:00 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Yorkshire Puddin'

    Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down at the fish plant, and pay the owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

    And you try ‘n’ tell young people of today that ….. they won’t believe you.

    Oct 8, 2009 at 11:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   AuntyBron

    You’d think, being 32 years old, the fish would know whether it’s a Rufus or a Rufina….

    Just thinking out loud here.

    Oct 9, 2009 at 11:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Smarmy

    I thought he looked like an oscar, i’ve raised two myself. each needed their own 50 gallon tank. that poor creature is going through some major stunt growth issues. i wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he’s tried killing himself by jumping out of the tank.

    these are some good examples of what a good tank set up would look like,
    http://www.cichlids.com/tank-examples/page/2.html

    you have to keep in mind in the wild these types of fish live in tropical ponds with plenty of room. they grow to the size they are supposed to be, not the size the of the tank they are in.

    So yes, i agree, the fish NEEDS a bigger tank. imagine only wearing one size shoe from the age of 9 up. your feet would grow, only they’d be stunted and in pain all of the time. That’s what this fish lives everyday.

    Oct 11, 2009 at 9:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Lou

    Too funny – I have actually “known” that Pacu for over 30 years. Whenever we would go there, we would ask the waitress to feed him carrots – he loves them!

    Oct 12, 2009 at 4:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Inkberries

    Funny. Didn’t know fish in tanks could live to the ripe old age of 32.

    Oct 12, 2009 at 6:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   InYourSleep

    I’m gonna be honest and say it. holy shit, that is an ugly fish.

    Oct 12, 2009 at 10:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Dani

    Gay fish, yo.
    (Mutha#*$&ing gay fish)
    I’m a fish, yo.

    Oct 13, 2009 at 3:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Wayne

    Such a tragedy – that this of sll things garners so much response – a certain sign that we are as a nation terrified of facing the day

    Oct 16, 2009 at 6:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Wayne

    Such a tragedy – that this of sll things garners so much response – a certain sign that we are as a nation terrified of facing the day

    Oct 16, 2009 at 6:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #49.1   park rose bang

      Such a silly tadpole in Rufina’s (not so big) big fish tank. I do agree with you though, 161 comments is far too many, and wouldn’t you know it? Some of them are duplicates…

      Oct 16, 2009 at 6:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #50   Emma

    Awww, poor Rufus is a q-t.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 9:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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